I keep finding myself getting mad about wife's graduation. Not because he's leaving -- I support him going on to do whatever it is his heart desires -- but because of the way he's talking about it. I don't belong here? Fuck you. If Fulgur Ovid, heart of Nijisanji EN, doesn't belong there, then who does? The way he keeps talking about it on twitter -- the Touchstarved collab will be fine without him? Noctyx are stars and he's the moon? Always excluding himself, always othering himself, always making sure even after all these years to set himself apart. He's come a long way, but he's still doing this shit and I want to fucking shake him. I know he's doing this for more freedom to create, but I also... feel in my heart that on some level he still thinks EN will do better without him there. EN will do good either way, because they're all amazing. But fuck, Fulgur, everyone would be happier having you with them. You're part of what made EN so special and important in the first place. You can never fucking deny it, never take away from it, never write it off as a fluke: you made an impact, motherfucker, and we all still feel the bruise. In the constellation of Nijisanji, you are Polaris shining bright and guiding so many to a better place in life. I wish you could fucking see yourself the way we see you, the way EN sees you, the way Noctyx sees you. I know it'll all be okay, he'll go on to create amazing things, do amazing things, meet new friends and meet up with old ones... but of course I don't want this to end. And, separately from those feelings, I'm mad as a hornet's nest at the language he uses to speak about himself. I used to do that same shit. I know what you're doing, borg. I wish I could call you out for it, but I'm just an anon on a multiplicative pattern enthusiast bbs, so I can only bitch about it here.
TL;DR anger stage of grief.