twitter has put this tweet back on my TL like five times today i'm gonna throw up https://x.com/Fulgur_Ovid/status/1572315660448714752

>>91774 LEGATUS 505 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI3Psn7hRCQj8ouxN918zXcARi81ZSEta https://legatus505.blogspot.com/ (Google Account required for 18+ Verification) CINDERED WOLF https://web.archive.org/web/20250419151710/https://cinderedwolf.blogspot.com/ https://rentry.org/CinderedWolf (Single Page Rentry Archive)

How do I stop bargaining with myself that he'll see how appreciated he is and turn his graduation into a long hiatus instead? How do I stop feeling like shit for being mad at him? How do I stop crying when he was the one person I never wanted to see leave

>>92503 i'll also feel like shit if he leaves without fully realizing how important and appreciated he is, if he's still under the impression that he didn't contribute anything significant to nijien. he was one of the cornerstones of the branch. countless people have expressed that they cannot imagine nijien without him. that's the truth, no matter what the voice in his head tells him. i wish he had given nijien more time to prove that voice wrong. i wish he had given us more time. i wish he had given fulgur ovid more time.

how dare he act cutesy like this while breaking our hearts i want to squish him and swallow him whole https://x.com/Fulgur_Ovid/status/1914006793140736493

i'm going to fucking crash out

>>92961 oh it gets worse https://x.com/hanadakeika/status/1913935178377887945

my comfydants........... https://x.com/saisauce_/status/1553641989668683776

>>92961 im so sad cause it shows hanada-sensei is all for wife playing fata but it’s the new changes in their rules that they no longer can do mature content…

>>92977 i always get dokidoki that he calls us his. last stream when we got demoted to ‘my guys’ i felt so lost. i don’t want to be anything but his loyal sheep that stays forever in his lap and listen to his ramblings of his day to day, and him gushing about some silly profound cartoon that i have never heard off

>>92983 i'm not gonna survive being called anything but his comfydant and being anything but a sheep. he seems to want a clean break from how he's making a clear distinction between legatus and himself so i genuinely think i should too because it's unfair to set all these expectations on him to stay the same.

>>92993 I was gonna write something extremely shizo and menhera but I'm glad i stopped myself. i know we're supposed to act all mature and happy for him but ueueuee my mommy wife is leaving so I just want to throw a tantrum for a bit so I can be comforted in his warm blossom this one last time!

and i'm fucking dead >>93030 if there's one place you could it would be here, there's nobody but a few stray sheep in here... i'm waiting for all the schizo to leave my body before i write my fan letter so it doesn't get tainted by anything i'll regret saying or omitting. i was out all day surrounded by people i love and my chest just ached the whole day, i didn't know grieving could be physically painful. it almost feels like i'm killing the part of me that loved him to stop it from hurting.

went on b2 and saw people still calling wife 羊妈/their sheep mommy and realizing that's another thing we'll be losing. how much heartbreak is the human body designed to take before it's too much

I saw this clip of pio getting the nijitarots early for uki so wife can be immortalize the deck forever... I admit I've been distracted crying everyday to catch up on vods but if they do a tarot reading stream as a final send off, i'll end it all

>>93038 >it almost feels like i'm killing the part of me that loved him to stop it from hurting there's a saying that grieving hurts that much because of how much we love him. I'm just scared that I've wasted so much days where we're supposed to be celebrating him, being all sad instead... 2 weeks is never enough time and fuck my stupid baka brain for not locking on and realizing this

>>93063 he was smart to leave us to our own devices today, i think processing through all this hurt is a necessary step and he'll be there like a healing balm tomorrow. as long as he doesn't say any more self-deprecating bullshit. i was in panic mode trying to figure my way out of irl commitments so i could catch every one of his last streams, but then i realized that would be betraying the one rule i had made myself and respected for three whole years while watching him. so i'm going to be there for the beginning of his zatsu tomorrow and catch up on the rest of the vod as always, and maintain that semblance of normalcy like he has with his very normal schedule, hell he even kept in his normal break days! i might just be a ball of hurt and broken pieces shambling along for now but i believe we'll make it through it, eventually. i know we can send him off with a smile in the end.

he loves us https://x.com/saisauce_/status/1914183208809468203

:(

someone drew images for every month of the year for their wife calendar... https://x.com/hikari505ovo/status/1914125240323473704

>i'm not an active comfydant >makes 100 emotes and a game you are so loved, wife https://x.com/Hayato315P/status/1914663221228618100

we could've had it all

i'm running out of time to write my fan letter because my friend's flying to japan on the 30th and offered to mail it for me so i don't need to run the risk of it getting lost, but i haven't been able to get into the headspace to write anything i would want him to read. all i have are whining complaints and tantrums and anger and bitterness. i'm supposed to meet up with a friend tomorrow so we can write our letters together but i haven't bought any nice stationary or stickers and i haven't drafted what i want to say. for three years, he brought out the best of me, and for this remaining week i feel like the world's pettiest, most selfish and mean person. i have nothing nice to say, i've started fantasizing about an alternate timeline where wife holds off on leaving for another year and accomplishes all the stuff he wanted to and leaves without any regrets with a big send-off from nijien after they all participate in a project of his. i know i'm going to be okay eventually and go back to loving him just as much as i always have but i don't have the strength for that right now and i'm running out of time.

>>97547 oh anon... i thought i was finally at the acceptance phase but it doesn't help that wife is playing it lightly and doing those graduation jokes since to us it's still so fresh. that's partly why i went back on drawing and doing those shitty vent arts kek it's a weird suggestion but maybe you can write down those mean words as a draft. i found out in the middle of drawing that true, i was angry at him, but i was also ashamed cause i didn't want wife to see me like that. it helped dissipate my anger when that negativity is out of me into something else. (if that makes sense). i don't want to say 'stop being angry, get gud' cause saying that to a pissed person will only aggravate them (like how wife is unintentionally doing...) but i feel like with the way you're writing your worries here in the first place shows that you're not all that mad at him but it just takes time for you to process these emotions. again, the only thing that sucks is that it feels like there's not enough time to do so. you said you're meeting up with a friend to write letters with? maybe you can reminisce with them and that will help you focus. if that doesn't go well, you still have a few more days! you've set yourself a deadline but don't make it so it will pressure and cripple you to express your true loving emotions! wife did say we got a month after his final day where they'll accept letters still and knowing him he'll be touched that you even wrote anything to him in the first place and he'll keep it close to his heart like a sentimental fucker that he is

>>97587 he's going to wrap himself into a blanket burrito and cry for days as he slowly makes his way through all the final letters people send him. i'm considering writing a letter i will send him and another version i will just post in this thread. i do think i'll be in a better headspace tomorrow, especially after we have our last brothers that one-on-one during voxxy's birthday. i wish i was more like vox and knew the right words to say, i really loved his speech at the end of overture.

>>97591 yea! that could be your new goal, emotionally destroy him in bed by delivering the most heart wrenching letter you could write! vox truly has a way with words that makes you want to believe in him, here's hoping you get that last burst of lambro inspo to get you through this

>>97602 thanks for the comforting words anon, here's to every sheep surviving until the last day when wife can cook us himself.

wife in his brother's bday totsu actually cheered me up a lot, my heart feels much lighter. omw to meet up with my friends to write our fan letters and i think i can at least attempt to convey my gratitude towards him now

Given the thread is for ol' Fuu-chan, I am going to use it to vent as nobody in my friend groups or social circles cares for Vtubers and/or Nijisanji. It's been a difficult time since the announcement, I must admit. I've always considered myself emotionally sound, accepted the news of departures of other talents with grace and respect. Even those I didn't really care for in Nijisanji that left, I always wished the best for them and whatever future plans they have. So upon reading Fulgurs announcement and statement, I honestly have just felt crushed. Fulgur is a big inspiration to me for many reasons. He is an older male talent that in an industry dominated by younger hires. Despite his disabilities and personal struggles, has maintained a consistency to perform on our behalf. Even when handicapped due to his medical woes, did everything in his power to come back better. The way he indulges creative efforts by the comfydants, reacting often with nothing but love, praise and understanding. I remember making a model for him to be used for WrestleSanji and he gushed over it's design, how he wanted to use it etc. but Selen insisted otherwise. It nice to be felt seen, even if I didn't get to see him react to it's use. Fulgur is what I strive to be as a creative in the streaming space, it's what motivated me to keep going and giving back to others who also cared for Nijisanji; dubbed a namefag or not. And what is most amusing is despite his best efforts to filter and push away so many in his debut, he ended up becoming the pillar for so many. I am glad I was able to see grow, nurture and show mutual love to a community he cultivated. Thankfully that angst never went away in his stories. And now he's going... But it's what he wants and I must accept that. To appreciate the highs in life, so to must be experience the lows. So I shall fondly remember those highs and appreciate the memories for what they are, rather than what will soon be. Enjoy this Photo of my Fulgur plush I took to a Football game once, he's joined me on a few travels. And thanks for being a place I can dumb my random thoughts.

>>98522 i love you snakeanon, thank you for accompying us all these years too and contributing so much to the thread, whichever one it may be. i was always happy to have you around. i wrote my fan letter today and managed to include nothing but well wishes, but i'd be lying if i claimed to have accepted his decision and be ready to move on, so i won't tell you to either. i find some comfort knowing i'm not alone in my pain and i'm beyond grateful i get to have you guys as company as we get through this. i hope the outpouring of love he's received since his announcement has truly opened his eyes to how much of an impact he had and how many people he's inspired. my dumbass wife still has a long way to go... never give up on your dreams, vox is still waiting for another fellow bong to join the company!

God I will miss wife so much. I hope my wife plushie arrives soon...i'll take him with me everywhere

not shown on here is the mass sheep suicide on monday

i handed my fan letter to my friend today. even on his way out, wife finds a way to help me appreciate the people around me. what am i going to do without his presence being a constant positive force in my life. everyday is going to be a little duller without him.

my friend told me she mailed my letter today. i hope my handwriting isn't too shitty for wife to parse. i regret never buying any stationery since i was under the impression i'd never have any use for it. streams were so fun today i almost forgot it's nearly time to say goodbye. the first week passed so slowly but this week is flying by. i wish i could stop time.

>keep trying, we would love to have you eventually i hope snakeanon is watching

https://x.com/AltusZendoji/status/1918324434735337781 https://x.com/NixVoltare/status/1918349956160892960 didn't realize they were both sheep, neat

time's running out too fast

>>106365 ah shit the third page is missing here

hey anons, i haven't been regularly keeping up with fuuchan's streams since the announcement, i'm both too sad and want to save some "new" things to watch whenever i miss him a lot. i know he said something about not wanting the noctyx4ever tag to be used and stuff, but did he say anything about whether he's okay with new fanmerch of his design?? i had a bunch of noctyx things planned and i don't know if i should follow through anymore honestly, or if it would put a bad taste in his or comfydants' mouth to draw things with the old model

>>106532 He said to keep him out of Noctyx's tags once he's gone, but that doesn't mean you can't create things, just that he'd prefer that you don't post them in everyone's tags. I guess the better question would be to ask fans that follow you if they would still be interested in buying it? Despite his intention to be erased from Noctyx so they can move on without him, I think a lot of fans would still be interested in things involving him as well.

>>106532 he said we're free to create whatever we want, fulgur ovid will belong to us once he's gone. but he would prefer for it not to be tagged in with noctyx's tags. you can still use his tags and he'll be checking them until he's ready to move on from that too.

the fangame wife is playing. this is so incredible. he's so incredibly loved. i really hope he can finish it. https://x.com/fuucordrpgdevs/status/1918704766290673973

i have no regrets anymore. thank you nijien for allowing me to send him off with a smile. thank you millie for everything you do. https://youtu.be/L1grwG5sXM4

Posting this here just to make sure everyone gets a chance to see it. If you want access to the membaaship posts and VODs, there's a post by the BO in /nijimale/ that you can reply to with a throwaway email. Working on uploading them all today. This doesn't included the TLOU watchalongs as he's made those public. VODs are about 60 GB total, sorry I can't do much about the size. Posts will be available as both images and text files, and the individual images attached to the posts will be included. I will also be uploading the wallpapers+other image perks, the VPs, and all of the soundtrack (including the ones still in membership) some time in the near future, but I will just drop a gofile link for those. It has been a joy, fellow sheep. For those staying around, I look forward to continuing to discuss Nijisanji with you. For those leaving, I'll miss you and I hope you find a home, be it by following Fuuchan to his next life, finding another oshi to enjoy, or just by finding a new hobby to dedicate your passion to. Always feel free to stop by if the urge strikes you.

>>108137 Reposting here for visibility's sake, thanks for sharing it with others. >Reply to this post with a throaway email >I will verify if you have a legit post history >In case you have a dynamic IP, VPN, mobile posting, etc. send at least 5 of your posts numbers >When the archive is ready I will forward them >Emails will come from billh00k@proton.me

Despite all of the /here/ jokes, I know you will probably never see this. But I am content shouting to the void. Fuuchan, I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly put into words what these past three years mean to me. I might have already been a fan of Nijisanji EN when you debuted, but you were the one who motivated me to write something other than work reports for the first time in a decade. You accompanied me through countless days of work. You are one of the reasons I stuck around liveposting and theorycrafting and horny posting with anons, and honestly a large part of what changed me from a casual fan of the branch to one who is stuck here forever. You've given me so many beautiful memories. I hope that after last night you better understand how much you meant to Nijisanji. All of the times you jumped in to help people on streams, and hung out in totsus. All of the collabs and the totsu karaoke that you brought everyone together for. Dealing with topics maturely. All of the times other livers have talked about what you've done in the background for them on stream. I'll miss Fulgur Ovid, and his story. I'll miss the collabs and the silly moments with other Niji livers. I'll miss being a sheep and calling myself a Comfydant. I know whatever you do in the future, you will keep being yourself and succeed in your dreams. I'll cherish these memories. Goodbye, borg. I baa you, and I always will.

i'll sadpost here but i'm a coward not being able to watch his last stream live. i don't think i can handle it while at work... but from going through the thread i'm glad the sheeps were able to send wife off with a smile and him leaving with no regrets. >>108151 >>108562 sorry BO/archiveanon but would it be too late for me to submit my email? pinkycomfy@proton.me

catching up with wife's last stream and i'll be vodposting here if that's ok since i don't want to make nijimale too depressed/offtopic...

>>108609 Sent, I can keep forwarding until the url dies or the archiveanon asks otherwise.

>>108609 archive anon said the link should be good for a week so i think you're fine. he was our same gentle, loving wife until the end, i hope you'll find some comfort with the vod.

>>108614 fucking drama queen hitting us where it hurts with enshrouding. now i'm glad i'm able to watch him in private since i'm already a mess >>108616 >>108617 tyy BO/mods i'll cherish his vods and the beautiful memories forever <3

>>108620 the final intro... well it's not him dying in a hospital bed at the least but it hurts just as much... i'm glad he's so far down the rp cause the VR glasses looks a tiny bit silly. i wish i can see his whole handsome face one last time... one thing i'm glad is that manesan is allowing him to collab with nijien in the future. i hope hope hope it'll happen one day...

>>108632 kek wife is still coping with his cake. i'll give lam-mama props tho cause even as an old man he made wife have such a tiny waist

>>108644 cuteeee tyy lam-mama for adding the OniGiri easter egg, i'll add that to my delulu brothers THAT with vox visiting him

>>108648 suicide HATE true love correction and growth is that wife gave 404 and 505 happy endings and even in his graduation, he wants to end it in a happier note rather then then him dying or in a funeral

>>108657 wife taking a long break... it'll be so over for me

>>108659 lam-mama truly loves him too... fuck the noctyx art is making me cry again. i'm gonna miss noctyx so so much. i know they'll still collab as a trio and i'm rooting for them but it's gonna be different...

>>108661 wife is so cute sperging about his silly chinese cartoons. ahhhh his giddyness is healing me! and his daipans cuteeeee and based wife for being a filthy shizun fucker

>>108675 hanada-sensei... i'm glad you've found fatamoru when you did, and it help you in your lowest point but fuck man, he still equates himself having so little value... wife... the reason creative types are so magnetized to you wife is because you are so genuine in experiencing their art. it's such a pure type of joy not in the way an adult compliments a child's drawing and puts it up a fridge but it's the other way around where a child sees a cool new thing and just gushes about it. there's something so childlike and whimsical you view our creations that even the little selfdoubts every menhera artist experiences gets drowned out by your simple and honest reaction.

>>108684 wife really was the guiding light of en... it's funny that it somehow connected with his "noctyx superstars, him as a moon" analogy with the celestial theme

>>108684 he is that perfect comment every writer will get once in a while that will make their heart swell and that they'll never forget

>>108693 crying when he's reminiscing all the beautiful memories he's having with his friends. lambros were really two sides of the same coin... i'm gonna miss incest... >>108697 he's that type of fan that even if it's only him complimenting the work, you'll believe it cause it's so genuine. idk how to describe it but it feels like those small fandom circles/ultra rare pairs where only a few people know it but they gas you up so much that there's hundreds of fics/art self sustaining from that same passionate like minded people. i guess wife has that kind of energy and maybe i think it's why he was comfortable with a smaller fandom for a while but here he is in the limelight and attracting big names in the industry but he still has that same kind of genuine passion

>>108716 ok i paused to type that but kek wife is so bratty throwing renren under the bus in mario party. i'm sure ren didn't mind, he just liked hanging around with his friends...

>>108716 yeah, i completely get what you mean. he's changed a lot in the last three years, but the core of him remains the same. he's just like you and me, an excited and appreciative fan.

>>108151 Hopefully I’m also not too late Most of my post history will be on the other site, but yeah enshroudedsheep@proton.me Thank you I’ve only just recovered from today I think. For now. Wife love, now and always…

>>108720 stuffing my fuupape with those build a bear button soundbox thingies where he just says his usual quotes so my tulpa wife and pape can be with me forever

now that we can look back, which streams and series did you feel were the most defining of fuuchan's career or comfydant culture? which were your personal favorites? mine were the final fantasy streams. he loves that series so much, and you could always tell how much fun he was having. clickholding will always hold a special place in my heart, just from how differently it was received by everyone else compared to him.

>>108151 finally got off my ass and made an email too. thanks again for organizing this, BO cursedfydant@proton.me >>108783 you make me want to go through his entire channel from oldest to newest... but i also know that doing so would just make it harder to choose. the obvious answer would be fatamoru, but i now realize i loved everything he's done, even the shitty western VNs, because it was time he spent with us. if i were sent back in time to experience them again i wouldn't take any stream for granted.

i am now torturing myself by going through his channel in chronological order

wow.... just the first 6 months are so full of memories

there's so much already... and i've only just hit fatamoru at the end of year 1. also, his TLOU gameplay vods are back! and the walking dead also!

>>108810 >his TLOU gameplay vods are back! and the walking dead also! now that's cool

>>108616 Yeah, you have my permission to keep sharing it as long as people keep requesting it. >>108617 The link should be good indefinitely, but gofile removes things that don't get downloaded for a certain period of time. I think it is two weeks, but better to err on the side of caution and tell people to grab it quickly just in case. I can always reupload them into the same folder, but the streams took over three hours the first time around, so I'd rather avoid that if possible.

i made it to the end. i didn't cry but my arms went numb and i could barely breathe by the end of it. to be honest, looking back, you can tell how much wife lost direction after his shepherd lore project got cancelled. i can't wait to see that creative spark get reignited in him again. the pain is going to come in waves over the next few days, weeks and months, but he's given us plenty of things to hold onto as we weather it without him. legatus505 and archivist404 with its new happy ending, his birthday karaoke, the noctyx off-collab, millie's storybook, the cover with enna, his final letter for us. i'll always wish we had more time because selfishly i wanted to spend forever with him, no matter how irrational that sounds. i wanted to be his comfydant until the end of time.

>>108772 oh no... a sheep that hasn't watch him for a year came back on his graduation stream and just found out about it right now... >>108783 for his defining stream it just had to be his cringekino debut and then the switcharound 2.0 directly right after. it's such a monumental thing that you just had to be there. i especially loved his 2.0 showing his gooey nerdy lovable centre that he kept true through out his life as Fulgur Ovid. and my personal favourite of his is like the previous anon said, were any stream of his with a zatsu. just the way he bounce back with us and yaps about anything and everything. but i guess if i really had to choose... it's when he no life'd elden ring during his supposed break. it's a bit embarrassing to admit but i already had a menhera breakdown about it kek having his long streams during the time while i was in pain with a spinal infection, was a huge eye opener to what he went through... plus seeing him mald then try his best then finally beating the bosses was very thematic to my personal recovery that's why it's selfishly my favourite. don't know if that breaks soc rules but i'll just leave it at that

>>108845 oh this late news but nice! there's a possibility the cover will released on this stream? wow what a double wammy i might not survive the end of this vod and don't be shy with your chinese wife, he's so cute speaking in other languages. it's just like his singing, very adorable

>>108848 yamada-sensei... mannn it sucks nitro+chiral is banned in youtube so wife would have to play it offline...

>>108853 time for a pornhub account

>>108855 well he did tease about finally getting an onlyfuu... maybe he'll release all his limiters by then kek

>>108853 i'm gonna miss him calling us his comfydants...

>>108862 if wife was the moon, i want to be the waves that follow all his beautiful phases...

>>108862 it's going to kill me, trying to become something else.

>>108866 it's a bit sappy or whatever but whenever he calls us 'my comfydants', i get dokidoki cause why is unintentionally yume baiting and possessive calling us his... although i know it's a wordplay for confidant with him being the listener and he can open up to but it is such a perfect name! and in the end we became his confidence that he is able to take this step and reach for his dreams ueueue

>>108863 >wife getting tearful and having to drink water to hide his crying same, but i kinda get it cause i'm so dehydrated from this cry marathon

>>108873 oh boy, they're doing the cover release... >everything just fell into place during my graduation wife... it's not just 'blessings or the mandate of heaven' making it so your cover and fangame released so smoothly, it's because of the people that loves you so dearly that they hauled ass to try to get you a proper send off...

>>108882 i will miss this historically oppressed white man...

>>108869 it makes me feel safe like i can take shelter against his warm bosom, like he's saying "my child". god, i hope he makes all his dreams come true. i'll be happy as long as he's happy.

>>108889 oh god i'm not ready but wahhh wife's cute chinese! and enna's crystal clear vocals both mixes so beautifully

>>108896 i can hear wife screaming his whole cybussy for that verse

>>108898 wife is such a canadian hater... he will never visit leaf... no.. he would have loved the nature and hiking over here

>>108902 wife is chinese through osmosis

>>108903 i'm glad they really push through and fought for this song, thank you for giving us this final gift before you leave

>>108902 gonna kidnap him and lock him in a cabin in the woods somewhere people only speak french so he can't even communicate if he tries to escape

>>108904 the final 30mins... i wish i can fight wife's demons. wife is so so strong climbing out of his depressive spirals, his disability, and living through whatever shit life throws at him

>>108912 wife erasing his future plans for niji... oh god he's narrating the lyrics

>>108914 >you like it i fucking hate this place for making me laugh at this part of the lyrics. no, i don't wanna imagine riku when wife is talking about suicide

>>108917 yea, get spoiled you lovable bitch.

>>108920 wife's vibrator just suddenly went to the max setting

>>108921 wife's graduation album turned into his inspiration album. "why i don't want to graduate, why you wanna keep moving forward"... but now it'll eventually just be his memories of the time from before... it hurts... he's making it sound having loved lost

>>108925 his last letter... my eyes are so tired. jus tend it all

>>108927 wife... you breaking down breaks my heart...

>>108929 i'll never get lead astray wife, i'll love you forever, baabye... fuck that piano ending it's finally hitting me

grieving now that he's gone is a different kind of pain

>>109000 i’ve grown accustomed to coming home and still seeing him still live. i didn’t realize how my day to day ended up- not necessarily revolving, but had his constant presence be ingrained in my routine and suddenly it’s all empty

every time i read the part at the end of his letter where he says goodbye to and thanks fulgur ovid for a wonderful three years i tear up >>109197 i wfh so i grew used to his voice being a fixture during my entire work day and sometimes going way over too. i miss him.

i'm gonna miss calling him fuuchan. the hiragana for it looks so cute. every day there's a new detail to mourn. i find myself crying at random times of the day. grief is weird. one minute i'm happy and excited imagining what kind of story he'll write next, then the next i'm depressed over a memory my mind conjured. i wish change was less painful.

>>109000 I will always always always miss him. I think fear is also a factor in it, I fear that when he comes back he might not be the same but....I'm pretty sure he'll be the same gay old man I love and care for

tried distracting myself by watching a therapist react to episodes of 86 and he pauses to go off on a long tangent about grief and isn't that just perfectly topical. so i'm back here again because he said there's no shortcut to grief and you gotta feel the full range of your emotions and you can't move on from loss, you can only move forward. and the entire time all i could think of was wife. i miss him. >>109357 now that the full length of his graduation has played out, i do hold the reassurance that, at his core, he'll be the same person, but things will never be the same. nijien will never be the same. i will never be the same. i will never be able to hear him call me his comfydant again. everyone has to learn to adapt to this new reality. i cannot espouse the perspective that graduations don't matter because of reincarnation. if that were true, i wouldn't be in so much pain. if that were true, following him to the next life would instantly cancel out the sadness. but it isn't. millie hit the nail on the head: if i could, i wouldn't stop him from leaving, i would go back in time so i could experience it all over again and get to stay with him longer.

>>109440 Yeah It won't be the exact same but also he's not changing that much I think. I also feel like he's also anxious and a little scared how comfydants may react to his new self. Like he fears we might leave him or find his streams boring. I think both sides are sad and overthinking. I hope both of us will enjoy this new ride more than we realize

>>109654 i braced myself for his eventual departure for three years thinking i'd give myself a clean break afterwards only to end up back where i started, realizing i could never leave him. we obviously still have so much love correction left to do... maybe i'll be more vocal about my love for him this time. maybe i'll take up the offer to be his mod this time if the chance arises. actually do something concrete to help him. i still feel like shit now and then for saying no when they needed help. all the sadness i'm lugging around isn't his fault or his responsibility in the least... my emotions are mine to deal with. i hope he's not beating himself up for our pain, i would hate that..

cried again listening to his last cover. I hope he comes back soon...

>>109966 nade nade... the song randomly plays in my head during the day, t's hard keeping it together in public

>>109966 i find it fitting he chose suicide HATE as his final gift to us, so that we must be resilient and stay strong for him! sorry to derail but one thing i noticed is that i don't think there's proper en subs in the video? he talked about it in his final stream but it's not in enna's upload. i also don't think he uploaded his version in b2 like he said he will but i guess it's harder for him to upload there since even livestreaming will take months to finalize...

did anyone archive his drunk totsus?

>>110015 They couldn't get English subs finished in time so Enna is supposed to add them when she can.

>>110109 Do you mean his totsu karaoke streams? The only other drinking one that ended up unarchived I can think of is the bartender one.

>>110111 Yes those! I think the mast one was back in 2023 and it was really special because nina and mysta were still in niji

>>110222 Those all got saved, yes. I can't upload them right now, but I can do so tonight if no one else can upload them more quickly.

>>110222 the last one he did was for his birthday last year

>>110222 Here's all of the totsu karaoke plus bonus duet karaoke https://gofile.io/d/bdQy10

>>110345 Thank you!

I need the dog ears to stay on

>>110871 >new wife won't have sheep horns and ears i'm depressed again

im sad we cant celebrate mother’s day with our mommy wife…

>>110929 >my real mom will be out of town >my mommy wife is dead suicide is back on the menu

>>110917 well i think dog ears are cuter. Also imagine the wife knot

trying to watch something unrelated so i stop crying over the same bullshit day in and day out but the thing i'm watching is telling me about grief and displacement and how we get mad at the person we're grieving LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE LET ME ESCAPE FROM MY EMOTIONS FOR JUST ONE DAY. i miss him. i wish i could turn back time. endless eight the last three years and never have to live without him. when does the pain end. i feel like a fucking schizo. i just want to be normal again.

>https://x.com/kk_jn424/status/1921112711624028545 lam-mama often watched wife especially during his last streams. he was honoured to have a wonderful son that was sent of with so much love from his friends and fans >>111175 anon… grief isn’t some linear step by step path to follow, emotions are just funky like that. i hope that one day you can find peace in the future

>>111295 https://x.com/key_diva/status/1921199208423465432 here’s a translated clip of his livestream 🥹

>>111295 >>111299 LAM mama is so sweet... when he called wife a wonderful son... i'm crying again....

can't believe we'll have to abandon this thread one day and migrate to /indie/.....scary....

>>111698 i think both indie spaces are female centric but there's always /cbdct/ and from the looks of it, they were attempting to make a male only board whenever they plan to move from vyt all together >>>/vyt/157099

>>111704 Unless they succeed on that male only board I see no problem in making a thread on /vyt/. It's female focused but so is /vt/ so

>>111698 i'm not going anywhere, i'll just livepost in a text doc to myself

>>111732 but anon we'll miss you :(

someone saying wife is on maternity leave made me smile today instead of feeling sad >>111801 i'm too fragile and old to venture outside this walled garden anymore... i'll crumble to dust the first time someone talks bad about nijien in his new general...

i completely forgot but i got my 38 months of membaaasheep two days ago

>>111704 there's a general on there >>>/kyoudai/2

missing wife and his pretty face

youtube recommending me an artist called suicide sheep... >>112701 gonna miss the beautiful eyes LAM mama gave him so much

pretty maid wife who gets gangbanged by all the lords and young masters he serves. that's the real reason they cancelled the luxnoc drama CD... it was gonna end up being a porno instead...

b2 recommending me old wife clips from 2022, suicide is back on the menu boys

jesus fuck i saw a tweet saying they thought noctyx would grow old together. grief truly acts like a minefield

my mood lately has been so bipolar, one minute i feel empty and hollow and missing wife so badly, then i remember how the quilldren are left with literally nothing and i remember that we've been so lucky to have such a wonderful graduation AND he's made it clear his soul will reincarnate elsewhere. but i still miss him so much.

>>114215 i like to think ike is on a journey to find himself to eventually meet up with yugo maybe lechan ends up with them somehow to help, anything could happen - they all live with us now it's so strange the ones i cared about the most back then are gone now, but i think they're all happier so it's easier to deal with

an archive of wife's b2 emotes and gatcha wallpapers https://xcancel.com/_starjelly_/status/1924685725657923645

reminder that wife said he'd be in vain's 3D debut, whenever that was again. >>116132 thanks a lot anon! i've been away from /here/ and twitter so i didn't catch that

all i do is miss wife everyday...

the last crumbs we get from wife and he's in vain's 3d debut. i'm sad his voice is so quiet... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5D1taQmWZw

>>121154 i'm holding out hope for pio's 3D

>>121161 god I hope so too but I'm not holding my breath for fear of disappointment

>>121172 i just miss him a lot... i'll be delusional even if it ends up hurting me... i'll be the sheep skeleton in that one fanart where we wait for him to return for 300 years

>>121174 i miss him too… well the good news is that he has some secret post mortem projects finally being released so maybe he’ll pop up here and there when we least expect it! like this cover of Honeymoon Un Deux Trois with uki! he sounds so cuteee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic-JpsmaMk4 and it’s so sweet they were even able to sneak in L505 and enshrouding in the bridge… ; ; https://x.com/aobashizuu_/status/1929588009088819512

uki's talking about the cover and he brought up the idea up to wife after knowing he was going to leave... uki was also so shocked with how wife ended the song with an octive higher ending the song with a bang >the first and last time we hear wife is through uki's song/cover ah... it hurts

kek aperently when wife was screensharing Millie's storybook gift he leaked the lyrics breakdown of the cover. even at the end he's still fulgur hollanding

ovidia milk (slop) this seems like it'd be a fun video game

>>121356 he sounds so cute when he sings as always >>121425 sex with my deceased wife and his cute sheep horns and ears

>>121425 WAAHHHH MOMMY'S HEAVY MILKERS SLURPS SLOPPYLY AND GETS DRUNK OFF HIS THICK BREASTMILK AND THE WAY I'LL BE PLAYING AT HIS BREAST, IT'LL COME OUT LIKE FROTHY MILKSHAKE

he looks so much like wife i was also scourging the internet and i can't see anything about this dj so who knows where op found this from

>>121891 no english translation for now https://www.mangaupdates.com/series/p771ro4/zeiteim-no-nie

>>122267 oh thanks anon! that's too bad there's no translation but!! i did find porn of the same character drawn by the mangaka so i'm satiated while inserting wife as him for now kek

missing wife

i got my wife birthday merch today it still hurts. i hope it stops hurting someday.

randomly started sobbing uncontrollably at the dinner table today...

i turned 30 without wife today...

>>127307 wushuwushu i hope you are able to celebrate it in his name, just as he would have wanted it

>>127494 ue thank you anon.. i've rewatching his walking dead playthrough with my sister and i think it's helping it hurt less. i still haven't mustered up the courage to watch his vods alone but i'll get there one day.

>VexPo announcements I could have met him maybe. Boo

missing wife............... i wish i could endless eight myself into reliving the last three years over and over....

the bit with wosemi being killed by a bus and pio saying something was missing in the noctyx clip... I'm glad they were able to at least add little references to wife... I miss him so

>>130675 >>130688 more references, i missed the first part but feesh singing the bus song is definitely an ode to him too

>>130675 suicide is back on the menu boys

i miss you every single day wife

>>133676 same. i wonder if this feeling of emptiness will ever stop.

took my wife itabag out for otakuthon and it didn't make me wanna kill myself, progress

i miss wife

[spoiler]He's coming but I don't know how to feel about the little bit of the design shown

>>139733 anon your spoilers... the artist is the one from cage of roses so i'm not too worried but i don't think i like the indie rigging. ftr there's a thread for him on the boys board someone made if you wanna discuss it further.

crying in the middle of the night because i was reminded of wife saying he wouldn't change a single thing about his 3 years in nijien

>>139761 >boys board Got a link?

>>141414 >>>/kyoudai/

From VexPo