>>8153
If I was gonna not use my intrusive thoughts as an excuse to read the bible, then I'd have to allow my intrusive thoughts to attribute the name of satan or baphomet or some other evil name from the bible to every instance of the word, LORD, in the bible, and to every instance of Jesus ant the holy spirit and the virgin mary and the saints and every other important good person in the bible among other things, as if all these entities that are good were secretly satan or one of those other evil entities. This is what would be constituted by letting go of my anger and just letting it do to my mind what it pleases.
Even if I would be consciously wise enough to see past these false correlations, my subconsciousness, I know from 10 years of experience, wouldn't be wise enough to see past the false correlations that it'd create via. my intrusive thoughts, so every time I'd call upon one of those entities in the bible that are good, it'd actually call upon satan or moloch or one of those other evil things instead, especially when I'm asking to be safe from something and to have an angel sent to me to keep me safe, in which case a fallen angel would obviously get sent to me instead and start being hostile.
I'd imagine that this wouldn't constitute reading the bible correctly. The reason why I haven't read the bible for a few years, if not longer, is because I don't wanna do things that my subconsciousness doesn't wanna do, especially when my subconsciousness constitutes it to be work or a chore, which it does in the case of reading the bible or even longposts on /fringe/ or any other spiritual texts. I have a large backlog of stuff that I wanna read, including most of the bible, but I intentionally don't read them because I don't want my anger issues flaring up. I've had the bible in particular in my backlog for many years now.
My anger issues that presumably stem from not being allowed to have fun and be a person and express my feelings during my past life as a monk, wherein I presumably was an eternally-repressed pile of misery & woe that constantly denied himself in an attempt to become someone that I wasn't, which I never truly did because my subconsciousness didn't wanna be that guy that my consciousness wanted me to be, and then I don't even know if my consciousness wanted to be a pious monk or anything. I'd imagine that I'd only ever signed that contract out of a desire for pride or because of a feeling that I otherwise wouldn't be safe.
This self-repressing stuff that's compounded by constantly being attacked by demons, such as this goddamned incubus that's been harassing me since the night before last that I've yet to succeed at getting rid of, is not turning me into a capable good person; it's turning me into more and more of a mental cripple as time goes by instead. Eventually, at some point, I'm just gonna get thrown in a mental ward because the fights against the demons & devils will get so intense that people that aren't on this website will learn about it and then I'll get thrown on IV needles for sustenance after I refuse to eat and drink because demons & devils put astral filth and other astral compromising substances in my food & drink and then I'll just run out of ways to resist them without selling my soul to a lower being in such a manner that a loophole would exist in the contract and then I'd just get taken advantage of for 3525972095920750972539702352 years until the demon or whatever that buys my soul finally evolves into an STO and decides to let me stop being a slave and just gives me my free will back.
This stuff that the quipplothic entities are doing to me is just plain evil.
That said,
>keep up your daily practice
My daily practice consists entirely of trying to entertain myself instead of engaging in occult activity, including any and all forms of meditation. I only ever go to church when I feel like I need an exorcism, and then I only stay there until the entity is gone. I never ever ever ever pray at church except if I feel risky I might do the holy water prayer at the start but that's all I can afford to do because my anger issues won't let me do anything else, if even that, without the my anger issues forcing me to invoke satan and the anti-christ and moloch and etc. instead of the holy trinity and the virgin mary and archangels and what have you when I do prayers. The intention behind the letter is always more important than the letter itself,
ESPECIALLY WHEN PRAYER IS INVOLVED!
I literally have no room for occult practice in my life because I'm constantly getting attacked by hostile entities during most of the day and night, so all I do is to constantly devote my attention towards detecting those entities at all times so that I can know what thoughts to reject what energy movements are those entities trying to get my body compromised.
I am not allowed to progress by doing practical things, including yoga, because if I merely do physical yoga, specifically stances, then my anger issues are gonna flare up because I'm not trying to entertain myself and then I'd suddenly not own my soul anymore if I'd merely let my guard slip up because my anger issues would sell my soul to satan
AGAIN if I'd merely let my guard down in order to get back at me for not trying to entertain myself like it wants me to. In fact, it's gotten so bad that alotta times I can't even play video games and I need to partake in passive entertainment instead because active entertainment lets my guard down too much against my intrusive thoughts created by my repressed anger, that is, my anger issues, and vs. hostile spirits.
That and I need to get a job in the next few months or I'm gonna be homeless and die of starvation.
Anyway, I feel like the incubus wormed its way inside of my crown while I was trying to play video games earlier today, so I'm gonna go to church again, and I'm not gonna pray there. Maybe I'll just spill my woes to the angel working there while he exorcises me and I'll refuse to leave until I get exorcised, even if it means staying the night when I'm not supposed to.