Feels strange. It is like I am in a world that is changing so rapidly and it is both static and unfolding simultaneously in front of my eyes. I can see my peers talking about internet slang and their offline lives both and they melt together in. I am a liner, but I do sometimes speak to them, just to keep my eyes open to the happenings that are in motion now.
There's something bizzare about being a Chotabhangi now, I'm not a child, but I am not independent either. I have grown up in and, am still changing in such an era where the ephemerality of symbols and signals has been amplified, accelerated and senr into overdrive by some massive network that carries its lifeblood through underwater and underground cable fibres, copper wires hanging in the air hapazardly, and even impalpable messages broadcast through invisible waves in the form of radio. And as I grow slowly into full fledged adulthood out from a stage of adolescence
and youth,I am working
harder and harder just to prepare for the long life still ahead of me, to ensure that good foundations run deep. Degrees, building up a good resumé, courses and foundations... So many to count.
I am a lot younger than the average poster here, so I sometimes feel out of place. There's a lot I wish I could ask you guys.
There seems to have been talk of having wives from foreign nations or other castes even... I mean, I have some distant relative who once married a Mongolian woman, some other guy who married a Motswana and, yet another man in my family who
married some white American chick. They seem to live good lives. And as my mother seems to have made it a goal of her life to ensure that I get married at a 'proper age' with proper ritual, especially since I have an eternal old bachelor for a close uncle of mine... I have several things to ask about marriage. I am not of a standing enough to take home a wife, but it is likely that I will in a few years. So therefore, I have man
y doubts relating to the issue of conjungal relationships and married life.
>>10097
>My wife is like me. Hates modernity, into redpilled stuff etc. She is also into Hinduism, despite not being Indian. We did dhanteras together.
I am confused as to the issue of marriage and choosing a spouse once I get a little older, more rich. A lot of anons say that it is important to discuss dating as a big game. But, I was never allowed to date and will never be allowed to date. Call me a nerd, or a sissy. But, you have to realise that I come from a very traditionally religious, 'decent' family. Proper Advaitins, definitely lean more, 'sanskaari', for the lack of any better word.
Now, if they realise if I dated... It is a very simple story, I will be an banished outcaste or
perhaps, even a pariah. Unacknowledged, only re
membered as a disgrace or even simply forgotten by time. And god forbid if I marry someone of a lower caste or, a woman who might be White or Black or Asian or Mixed... I cannot even imagine what woukd happen. My mom says that she will arrange a decent woman for me to marry, to take home, to only bed her for the sole sake of procreati
on for fulfilling the religious duty of conceiving a child to carry the bloodline forward and nothing else (ideally more than 3-4 children.) Admittedly, it is less of a racial of colourist issue since my parents are neither, it is more of an issue of finding a proper woman with perfect horoscope, Gotra, lineage, ethics and values, and religiousness. They do not want inter-caste marriages.
Mom's replies and warnings go on and on... She l
oves to tell me stories of caution against lust. How Hiranyakashipu and Hiranyaksha, those terrible men were born out of Diti's uncontrolled desire to coapulate and conceive with Saint Kashyapa at a wrong time; tales of repentant and miserable prostitutes addled with scars and boils and pus festering and seething out of the cauldron of diseases, tales of femme fatales and vishakanyas, tales of terrible murders and crimes and rapes committed in the mode of passion and, many other such stories. She tells me that even if I were to marry, I should never see my wife with an eye of desire, to never coapulate for pleas
ure alone. I can understand her by the sense that it is always bad to see your beloved just as a tool for your pleasure, just as a harlot.
But, I grapple with the fact that I am a fundementally lustful person. I have never shown it outwardly... But yet, I fantasize of intimate pleasures; to trail my fingers down curves covered in soft flesh, to feel cool sweat becoming chill in the soft morning breeze while hazy warm light percolates through the window blinds— I fantasize, I daydream, but I never have the courage to express it in real life. But not like I could ever do it. But again, I never really had or have any interest in dating, so there's that.
Whenever I think of marrying someone, I always can't even think of spending time with them or being close with them by any means... Maybe it is
better for me to stay a bachelor for the rest of my life, I don't want to marry just to make another poor woman's life miserable, I was always a loner and still am. Besides, I don't want do disappoint my parents, I have a good relationship with them and I was literally blessed persobally by Sringeri Peetham's Jagadguru and he doesn't support love marriages so there's that.
Asexuals have it lucky, I don't. Maybe I should always stay single and control my lust, or marry just like how others want it to be. But again, why should a brahmacharin even think of sensual pleasures?