I once talked to some councillor at Uni campus, and mom found out. I'm not sure what to say, I can never truly easily grasp what she means... Even if she means good, I always take it in a bad way. But, I realise that I'm drowning in self pity and I'm constantly procrastinating and daydreaming and that I'm tied to my own sense of dense, heavy ego—I'm failing my semester because I always do something else other than studying. Even if I try to mend my ways, I lie about myself because I don't want to expose a single truth about my terrible, horrid self. I lie because I fear that telling the truth is going to make me scolded on just as bad and, I tell lies constantly with a smooth tongue and delicately alter facts and viewpoints without even consciously realising them at times. Even if I'm cornered like a stag in the corner, with my house of cards of lies about to collapse, to be torn apart by the hounds of truth, I'll consciously fabricate another lie, deny another fact. And I'll do it again and again with truths half spoken, sweet words and flattery until God knows what's real and what's fake because I don't want to be hurt... I'm very good at pitying myself and being rude and since I don't like to feel something unpleasant, I always lie and manipulate until everything's a blur and you can't tell apart anything because it's fused deep inside of the sludge of my slowly rotting heart— I've been lying so much and so long, even I don't know what's fact and what's fiction. I always did it because I only wanted to hear sweet words and I always fear that if I told the truth, I'll be scolded and hurt just as badly as when I'm caught with a lie and I've been lying so much now, why should I even ever change? It's nothing but my ego, and I've fooled myself so well with a silver tongue, even I can't tell what's the truth. I don't know how deep the abyss I made for myself by fooling me and manipulating others goes.

School taught me to ignore my inner voices. And i got good at it too. Now i see the loss. Life is a lesson, you learn it when you're through >>10199 You need time alone anon. I mean like 1-2 years of work, come home and be by yourself.

i feel weak >>10200 ignorance is stupid

One journey ends. Another one begins. I had left a different India as a different person. I return as a different person to a different country. Bharat is still 50 years away. India is weakened but far from defeated. Poisoned money has entered the nation too. Keep posting anons. Don't fade away.

falseflag operation in dalli 8 ded >>10204 grow up

>>10205 > grow up > falseflag operation in dalli 8 ded Lol.

>>10204 >India is weakened but far from defeated. Was it ever strong and influential before (besides the ancient times)? Though I agree. India may eventually make it through, but it may not happen within my lifetime. It is what it is I guess.

>>10217 India is a British invention. It is weakening by embracing its true identity of bharat.

>>10225 tbh british is indias invention u low iq incels would never understand

how come despite being one of the most active boards on 8chan we dont get much foreigners

>>10228 One post every 2-3 days lands a board a top spot in the ranking. There's an exponential dropoff. Though I agree they should've been shitposting more considering the type of things we say here.

>>10226 *The British are an >>10228 We don't reply to low level trolls. We did have South American posters trying to start inter board communication. But i was too tired to engage. We also btfo'd other posters on some other boards.

>>10224 Kekda

https://yewtu.be/POMT5OrVFy0?si=M0g4xBum2E1Wscy5 why the fuck did IIT Kanpur invite this fucking whore reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

vini . vedi . nigger

Accidentally came across yet another story of an Indian man going through a divorce and having false dowry and assault cases filed against him. Now I'll have to go to bed while being pissed. I was having a pretty good day too.

>>10252 Couldn't sleep. Pol stuff in my head. Diagnosed with high blood pressure so need to sleep more. But too many thoughts in my subconscious

>>10254 Raw garlic lowers blood pressure. More Omega 3s from seeds and fish. High blood pressure will kill you eventually. Accept the things you can't change.

>>10255 More of pressure of things I can change. Gave away ton of more money to causes I support. A lot more to customs for getting my stuff into India. And the low level corruption means I still have to keep paying more. We should copy west. Eliminate low level corruption. Allow only high level corruption for the elites.

Reading whites talk about "izzat" which they got from some paki white account, is really really cringe. >>10252 Plenty of good women still who don't make the news or reddit front page still. Building families , businesses or taking care of loved ones. Don't let the bitter ones ruin your mood

Growing older feels daunting, I want to do so much stuff that was just messing around. Making programs and electronics projects, just for the sake of learning and fun, the right time to do which would have been in college. Now I feel like I need to run, or else I'll be left behind. Which I am being. By this I mean, I feel a strange pressure to work or study and do only the things that will secure my future, or only do the things that are related to the domain of my profession. Not that I am doing any of these things outside of the 8 hours I spend at work. But doing anything else feels like a waste of time, guilty. I don't play video games or stuff. The things I wish to do feel boyish and "playing around". But on the other hand it feels like not doing these things will lead to regrets when I grow even older when all I remember from my "youth" is going to wage cage, pretending to work, and coming back. >>10174 This absolutely changed me a lot. Made me a different person. I had basically never lived away from home all my life. I moved out of my hometown after college. Can at least hold my own now, don't feel like a child (but this has nothing to do with what i wrote above) Urban parents especially today are much more involved in the lives of their children which is a good thing in some regards but also bad thing, such kids like me find it harder to make decisions and stuff because mummy papa were always there. There is also a sort of freedom you find when you move out, there is no pressure from your parents or family which to some extent weighs down on your mind if you're too attached to your home and family >>10204 Good thing you moved ahead in life last I read your post you were at crossroads (unless I'm mistaken) >>10259 The NEETs in Pakistan sure are much better at making memes than the wojak-pepe-AIshit posting nikamme log this side of the border.

>>10261 >Now I feel like I need to run, or else I'll be left behind >But on the other hand it feels like not doing these things will lead to regrets when I grow even older when all I remember from my "youth" is going to wage cage, pretending to work, and coming back. 1. Get yourself in a financially secure position a few years before you hit marriage age. 2. Block out all noise: including nagging parents, family, friends, colleagues, the internet (especially social media). Making yourself aware of what other people are doing is the primary source of misery in India. (The second being what other people do to you.) 3. Do the thing. Make yourself accountable to finishing these projects. Set deadlines and agendas. Getting into a good masters program inside this country will NOT give you free time, so don't think about doing it unless you want to fix your career trajectory. PhD is less work intensive than a masters but you will be wasting the better part of a decade of your life. You WILL regret not getting this out of your system before you are talked into a marriage and starting a family or delaying this into your thirties. >The NEETs in Pakistan sure are much better at making memes than the wojak-pepe-AIshit posting nikamme log this side of the border. The other subcontinentals and their respective governments seem to be very good at taking control of the online narrative. Both us, our foreign officials and ambassadors are excessively incompetent at this.

>>10188 That's what tradition and culture are. They change and integrate with present to form a more compatible version. That's how they survive. All that matter are the values they hold. Isn't it?

>>10180 Fell in love with labwork. I'm a lab rat now-a-days. Would love to get into something like experimental + theory building. Currently doing hydrogeochemist-esque type work. My supervisor had a project related to that so I was basically hired for it. Idk man I see people with a little knowledge going to places but I can't bring myself to be able to go anywhere. I feel like I don't have enough knowledge. I wonder if this is just a feeling or is it reality. All I have ever wished for is a good mentor who can tell me what I'm missing. Sorry for the cringe attachment but I be feeling this way.

>>10199 Pride is such a sweet poison. I'm getting slowly killed by pride too. "I'm the only one who's going through the worst misery and everyone should feel pity towards me." Pride is considered the worst sin as it is undetectable most of the times and can also takes the form of other sins. Pride is the death of ME.

the things are are going to happen will be beyond your comprehenshion capabilities

>>10267 we are set up

>>10268 its happening

>>10269 How was your viniggar soyachunk rice?

>>10269 Noice What do you plan to cook? You can bring chicks over now

Life is a constant tug of war between kill myself and maybe it'll get better.

>>9459 For the anon wanting to do a PhD, try Paris. There are some exciting offers there right now.

>>9459 SBI experience - I needed to change phone number for my SBI account - Got directed to table 1 - Table 1 gives me form, tells me table 2 will do it. - Ok , fill form, go table 2. Told to wait 30 mins. - Ok no problem. Go back to Table 2. Told it is not his problem. Sent to his underling at Table 3. - Table 3 argues with me, then tells me not his problem, go to table 4. - Table 4 tells me she is intern/newfag/traine. Asks for my phone. Weird. I give my phone Sir where is whatsapp ? I don't use Whatsapp Why ? I start going into reasons Ok sir, where is chrome Go into reasons why I don't use google Ok sir, where can I get google Direct her to browser Opens SBI website, tries login Then bitch tries reading my personal messages. I ask why she needs it. She says she is not doing it. CUNT IT IS LITERALLY OPEN ON THE FUCKING SCREENL. ATLEAST PUT SOME EFFORT INTO LYING. Sir get an iphone. why do you use this weird phone I take my phone and ask if its done. She says it is. I gtfo.

>>10294 Once SBI employees came to uni for credit card registration and leaked all the student's data. I knew they're retarded so I declined the offer but people got heavily scammed. Some retards even installed an app they sent through WhatsApp that drained their SBI CC. The same scammers tried to drain ICICI CC some people had but ICICI instantly flagged and blocked their transaction. Felt like some SBI employees were moonlighting ts