Lincoln takes heavy damage in the fight against Saki. Kisume and Kogasa defend the southeast edge of the Hakurei district from three of Eirin’s Immortals who are attacking from Mugenkan. Remilia sends one of her own armies into Mugenkan to retake the district. Under the command of Remilia’s second Immortal Dumfuc MacClod but actually led by Cirno since Dumfuc does not know what he is doing, Remilia’s force overwhelms Eirin with its numbers. Biglips MacJagger duels Mima on the Youkai Mountain Summit. The twin dancers Satono and Mai Teireida are on opposing sides, as are Kana and Elly who each have similar clothing, hat, and hair. Turn 70. Saki and Lincoln trade heavy damage again. Remilia joins the fight at the Mountain Summit but does not bring enough forces. She trades heavy damage with Mima. Tenshi arrives at the fight and annihilates Remilia's smaller army, killing Sakuya. (94) Cirno defeats Eirin and kills Reisen. (95) Tenshi has claimed all of the Mountain except for the Summit, and is invading the Scarlet Devil’s realm from the Foot of the Mountain and from Shining Needle Castle. She has also pushed Yachie out of the Forest of Magic.

With her armies defeated and the heart of her realm under attack, Remilia sends a letter to her sister Flandre requesting help against Tenshi. Flandre is too busy fighting Saki to respond. Fortunately, Yorihime comes to her rescue and squashes Saki’s army. Mokou challenges Flandre, but she cannot resist the vampire’s fury. Tenshi crushes MacJagger so thoroughly that it tests his immortality, but he survives. Tenshi’s armies roll through Remilia’s lands, taking the Scarlet Devil Manor. Eirin joins the fight against Lincoln and Flandre. Her small force deals significant damage to the exhausted Lincoln, but Lincoln defeats her and slays one of her Immortal companions named... uh, his name is... shoot. I forgot this guy’s name. Does anyone know his name? Anyone? No answers. We will call him Bob. (96) Yorihime knocks Mokou out of the fight and captures her alive. Saki’s army is routed. Lincoln’s forces capture her officers Yumemi and Kokoro.

Turn 73. The landless (in more ways than one) sailor girl Chiyuri approaches Lincoln’s camp and asks to serve as an officer. She is accepted. Chiyuri may be too old to be one of the girls in Lincoln's house for his TV show, but a more immediate concern is that he will need good officers to defeat Tenshi. Mokou is also willing to join. Why? She is in Love with Lincoln. Unfortunately, a jealous Flandre gets to her before any other negotiator. “He is mine.” Mokou is executed (97) but not well enough to truly slay an Immortal. Attempts to Persuade the other prisoners fall flat. Remilia is down to three territories. Her empire may not survive the turn. Lincoln’s forces are still bogged down and unable to move to support her. The defeated Patchouli has switched sides to join Tenshi, and she helps Yukari defeat Biglips MacJagger. (98) Eirin sends another gang of Immortals after Lincoln! He slays the French Immortal R’as le Bol and his fellow scotsman Ronald MacDonald, (100) taking their powers for himself. He can now speak French and overcook hamburgers. And there is a bug in my code that allows stolen skills to be duplicated. That is not hard to fix. The game already has a function to check for duplicates. I only need to use it. Reimu begins a resurgence by taking several of Saki’s territories after Lincoln and Yorihime wiped out her army. Suika kills Renko. (101)

Aunn and Kokoro join Lincoln’s force out of prison. Yumemi still needs convincing. Lincoln also recruits the wandering Yuyuko who is a powerhouse. Tenshi can field almost twice as many soldiers as Lincoln can, so he needs his officers to be better. Out of all of Tenshi’s territories, Tenshi uses her main army to defend the one bit of land that the new and undertrained officers were sent to take. Half of Lincoln’s army is screwed because it went with them. On the up side, Tenshi’s army is pinned down. We know where they are and can send better officers to target them. Remilia sends Cirno to attempt another attack on Mugenkan. Cirno kills Fortune-Teller (102) while her ally Dumfuc MacClod slays the Immortal Tom Bombadil (103).

Turn 75. Tenshi goes almost all-in, sending her best officers to attack Lincoln’s army of novices in Bamboo Forest West. Lincoln does likewise, taking Yorihime and Flandre into the battle. They deal a solid amount of damage to Yukari, but not as much as they take. Tenshi has a spare A-rank army of 40,000 that she uses to take Yuugi’s last city. Reimu defeats Yachie’s army, killing Miyoi. (104) She sends Suika to reclaim the Hakurei Shrine, but Yuyuko and Chiyuri run her off. An angry Saki murders the captured Urumi. (105) Biglips MacJagger has mixed emotions about the war. He can’t get no satisfaction when his side is losing. He says “it’s all over now” and leaves undercover of the night to start his own country! Koakuma and Dumfuc MacClod leave with him. And that's all of the updates for now.

New day, new updates. Turns 76 and 77. Tenshi is too damned powerful. Lincoln needs to roll back her territorial gains. Lincoln has spent his Treasury money so the war is likely to be won on drafting soldiers to the limit allowed by the Economy. That gives Tenshi the advantage. A very weak expedition into the Scarlet Devil’s realm is lucky to meet no opposition. Remilia now has none of her original allies. Most have died in the war. Patchy turned coat, Flandre and Koakuma went off to start their own countries. She has replaced her departed Immortals with Jack Harkness and Rosalina. Remilia's best officers now are B-rankers who are not bad, but they cannot stand up to Tenshi’s A-rankers. She needs the help of Lincoln and Yorihime, and she needs it badly. Remilia is now hiding out in the Forest of Magic. It might be her next base of operations, although the region has a poor Economy. MacJagger’s new empire is centered on the Land of the Backdoor, giving him a foothold in Makai and the Stairs region. I set his color to orange on the map. MacJagger’s army is defeated by one of Tenshi's units led by Mima, so he may not be able to help. Yumemi joins Lincoln’s army. Reimu agrees to a ceasefire, allowing Lincoln to focus on Tenshi. Reimu's focus is to take down Yachie’s last territory. It takes two turns, but she succeeds. Reimu takes Yachie’s last city and orders the death of prisoner Shizuha. (106) Lincoln's unit takes heavy damage from Yukari in the fight in the Bamboo Forest. Tenshi takes the Gates of Fantasy from Remilia. That is the entrance to Mugenkan. Eirin leads a counterattack. Mokou is fighting for Tenshi and leading an army of 45,000. Tenshi is dominating the fight against Lincoln. Lincoln needs to be more powerful to stand against Tenshi and Okina. Tenshi provides him with a couple of Immortals. Lincoln slays Antonius Kalas and takes his power. (107) That improves his stats by a little, but Lincoln needs more than that.

Lincoln and Flandre study under Yorihime to learn her combat skills. All three of them follow Yorihime’s lead and deal heavy damage to Yukari. But will it help against Tenshi, Marisa, and Okina? No, not at all. Having observed their tactics, Marisa and Okina fry Lincoln’s unit at a distance with their magic while Flandre screws up the plan as she often does. Saki is presently in control of Old Hell (the northern district) and attempts to break out in two directions, going west to attack Tenshi at the Mountain and east to attack Reimu in new Hell. Doremy’s squad reclaims the Scarlet Devil Manor for Flandre. They meet no opposition. Eirin defeats Tenshi’s incursion into Mugenkan, killing Kikuri. (108)

Aya Shameimaru joins Lincoln’s army. She sees that Lincoln has been winning, and she wants to reclaim the Youkai Mountain. In truth, Lincoln has not been winning. He has been taking land, but Teshi is defeating him in combat. Lincoln's apparent success on the map is a mirage. Tenshi has taken most of Makai from Reimu and is now attacking the Mausoleum, which Lincoln holds. Yuyuko attempts to defend with not nearly enough forces. Mokou crushes them with little effort. Yumemi arrives at the Bamboo Forest with a large force to give Lincoln the time to escape. She actually stands up well against Tenshi, whose forces are tiring. MacJagger’s short-lived empire falls to Tenshi’s forces, who capture Dumfuc MacClod. Reimu’s army is defeated by the strong Tenshi unit of Miko, Keine, and Shinki, who score a kill against the reviving Immortal Count St. Germain. (109)

And then all hell breaks loose thanks to some poorly designed custom code. In a test run, the Immortals all bunched themselves up into one faction and never fought each other. I wrote a routine to create new factions if there was a small number of factions and a large number of surviving Immortals. The game has a test to see if a character could and would revolt on a given turn. I ran it for every character. It triggers too often. I also used the wrong rebellion function, so the rebels imprisoned officers rather than gathering allies. Don't do this. Let me disable that routine so it doesn't run again... but let's roll with this.

So, damage report: Aunn, Aya, Yatsuhashi, Yuyuko, Yumemi each rebelled against Lincoln, started their own country, and imprisoned Lincoln's other officers. Lincoln and Yorihime now stand alone. Every other faction was hit. Tenshi suffered revolts by Marisa, Patchy, Maribel, Shion, Wriggle, and Yukari. Eirin suffered revolts by Letty and Medicine. Reimu suffered revolts by Jumpy Villager, Magan, Mystia, and Suika. Remilia suffered revolts by Nazrin and Yumeko. Saki suffered revolts by Kutaka and Ooedo Doll. Lincoln: "Well, darn it, there goes my plan of putting all of the girls that I collected into my house for my TV show!" Yorihime: "Could I be in your TV show?" Lincoln: "No. You are too old." The short-tempered Yorihime slaps Lincoln. Lincoln: "Maybe you could be the mother, or someone's aunt."

Lincoln: "You know what? If everyone else is quitting and starting their own country... I can do that too!" Yorihime: "But you already have a country. What about your empire?" Lincoln: "You can have it. Go take back the Moon or something." Lincoln returns to Mokou's House to plan his next move. Several of the girls that he had collected are there waiting for him! They have so much Love for Lincoln that they had broken out of prison to be with him, and they all figured that he would be there. Yes, that is a game glitch that I did not know existed. Rejoining the team are Flandre, Benben, Doremy, Eternity Larva, Kisume, and Kogasa.

The next task is Diplomacy, also known as deciding which of the new empires to invade first. Lincoln: “Hey, Yorihime, I know that I gave you my empire but can I have it back?” Yorihime: “Okay, sure.” Lincoln now has his old empire and more soldiers than every other faction combined. Most of his officers are on cooldown due to the chaos, so only Kisume and Kogasa move. Lincoln:: "Wait. That means that everyone else will be on cooldown too. Let’s just attack with all of our soldiers, even if no one is leading them." Yorihime: "We will lose our entire army if anyone puts up a solid defense agianst them." Lincoln: "Does anyone else have 500,000 soldiers to spend?" The first thing that all of the new little factions do is form an alliance. For some reason, they intend to target Yuyuko. They gain the support of the former major powers Tenshi, Reimu, and Saki. Lincoln chooses not to join because he plans to attack most of the parties to the alliance. Yumeko asks Lincoln for an alliance. Wasn’t she one of Remilia’s officers? Lincoln accepts. If it does not work out, he can invade her later.

Operation Overwhelm begins with successful captures of the Scarlet Devil Manor’s Library and the last patch of the Bamboo Forest that Tenshi had been defending from Lincoln. Tenshi’s forces are completely scattered. There is no resistance. Lincoln’s large armies take the Residential Area and the School of the Human Village, and roll over the smaller armies of Aya and Nazrin. Remilia is also disrupted by the revolts, and fields an army of only 1,600. Mystia shrugs off her attack. Aunn takes the Divine Spirit Mausoleum from Lincoln. As if there have not been enough revolts already, Kana starts a new country on the Moon! She is supported by Yachie, Koakuma, Rosalina, and Biglips MacJagger. And that is finally the end of Turn 80. We are looking at a completely different game board. Everyone except Lincoln was totally screwed by the revolts. Their armies are gone, while Lincoln had enough savings to buy a gigantic army that will take him to the end of the game.

There is a big throwdown in Human Fields, a fight between eleven armies. Without leadership, Lincoln’s army takes heavy damage from Marisa. Lincoln encounters and defeats Shion’s army in a fight for the Cemetery by the Myouren shrine. His target is Aunn and the nearby Mausoluem. One of Lincoln’s leaderless armies captures Shining Needle Castle and continues onward toward the Mountain. Yorihime seeks to conquer Mugenkan which is divided between three forces. She encounters and sweeps aside a Medicine strike force on the way there. Mugenkan is soon two forces, as Eirin conquers the rebel Letty Whiterock. Kogasa defeats Marisa and kills Nemuno. (110) Lincoln’s leaderless armies defeat Yumemi and Nazrin. Yumemi escapes and joins Tenshi. Nazrin switches sides and joins Lincoln.

Lincoln looks over his new officer Nazrin. Would she be good for his TV show? No, not really. Well, more of a maybe. She has the right age and a playful personality, but that personality is broken by certain... rat-like behaviors that are bad for TV. Would she be good in the war? Again, maybe. She is a poor fighter but has a cunning mind. Nazin is tasked with invading the neighboring Yuyuko. She is succeeding so far.

Missing update from Turn 83: Medicine Melancholy repels an attempt by Eirin to take the third region of Mukenkan, temporarily killing her Immortal officer Dio. (111) And now back to Turn 85. Patchouli asks Lincoln for an alliance. "Okay, why not." It is one less enemy to focus on while the others are out. Kisume conquers the small empire of rebel Yatsuhashi, who escapes. Kogasa finishes the long battle at the Human Fields, reclaiming a strategically important piece of enemy territory in the middle of Lincoln's empire. Aya rejoins Lincoln, and she promises not to revolt again. Yorihime has had trouble invading Mugenkan. It is not serious trouble, but she has been chasing after small forces and potential threats while neglecting the main mission. She now finally focuses on Medicine and deals heavy damage. Lincoln accidentally orders the unit meant for the Mausoleum battle to the Mountain where his leaderless forces have advanced to the Moriya Shrine and beyond. Marisa takes the undefended territory. Koakuma kills Akyuu. (112) And that is the end of today's updates.

>>1859225 What the fuck is this? Looks pretty cool (I like terminal games/text games, not raping). I could create something similar.

>>1867821 That's a era games, they are nip text porn games,there is toho,smt and others many untranslated, raping isn't always something you have to do is more of a option

Let's see if we can finish this tonight. Lincoln invites the wandering Yatsuhashi to rejoin his empire. Yatsuhashi is excited to be with her bandmate Benben again. Very excited. Yukari comes to Lincoln and offers him almost anything in exchange for an alliance. The usual choice is "power" which grants the rare Witchcraft skill for a boost in combat if you train it up, but Lincoln has absorbed the powers of Scrooge MacDuck. He chooses money. Yukari controls Makai, so the alliance grants Lincoln the opportunity to attack Tenshi there. Yorihime defeats Medicine to take the Gates of Fantasy at the entrance to Mugenkan. Nazrin is defeating Yuyuko handily. In a fight over the Moon, Yukari kills Yachie and the Immortal MacJagger (114) who will revive. In fact, this is the second time that Yukari has killed MacJagger.

Aya is sent to take the Four Seasons Door neighboring the Hakurei Shrine, and she finds a party there. There are eleven small enemy armies squabbling over the land. She takes them one at a time. Aya scores a kill against one of the very oldest Immortals from before anyone’s memory, Barney Rubble! (115) And that ends Turn 86.

Lincoln’s forces may have lost the Mausoleum, but in exchange they have captured nearly all of the Mountain. It is easy to dominate the game when you have 500,000 soldiers and everyone else is fielding groups of 2,000. Nazrin defeats Yuyuko and recruits her officer Kokoro for Lincoln. Eirin’s army falls to a leaderless mob that kills the strong warriors Konngara and Youki. (115) Mystia gets bloodthirsty and kills Orange, Minamitsu, and Satono. (118)

Tenshi forms an alliance against Lincoln. Nearly everyone joins except for Lincoln's allies. Yorihime wipes out what little army Tenshi has gathered. Lincoln’s weakest leaderless army takes down Wriggle and returns with the powerful Shinki who had chosen not to fight for Wriggle. She chooses not to fight for Lincoln either. Lincoln: “Then what are you doing here? Go away.” Lincoln releases Shinki, who may become an opponent on the battlefield. Another leaderless army defeats and recruits Yumeko and Cirno who had both been Remilia’s officers. They are Flandre’s now, and they are Lincoln’s. Count St. Germain wipes out (119) against one of Marisa’s leaderless armies.

Lincoln examines what he has acquired in the new officer Cirno. "It is a fairy who is even dumber than Eternity Larva." For that insult, Cirno punches Lincoln and knocks him off of his feet. "She is strong, though..." Lincoln makes a decision. "You know what? I don’t like you. Get out of here." Lincoln un-hires Cirno and sends her back to Remilia. After she has already left, Lincoln has second thoughts. "I wonder if she might have been good in my TV show. A girl with an attitude can attract fans." He shrugs. "Oh well. It is too late to worry about it now."

Aya fights off another ten tiny armies at the Four Seasons Door. One of those three armies is Okina, Yumemi, and Keine. Despite outnumbering them three to one, Aya suffers heavy damage and may not survive another round of fighting. Yorihime takes Dream World and kills the defender Shou. (120) A leaderless army scores a "kill" of the Immortal Dunkin MacDonut. (121) Another of Lincoln’s leaderless armies enters the Hell of Blazing Fires. There are enough spare forces to help Yukari take the Moon from Kana. Lincoln defeats Eirin’s empire to take the powers of her horde of Immortals! Few of them are still with Eirin. They died in the war, revived, and wandered off. Lincoln slays Ramirez and Dorian Gray, (123) gaining Dorian’s sinfulness. All of the captured normal 2hus were released. Lincoln did not see anyone that would be a good fit for his TV show.

There are now 14 little countries plus Lincoln's empire that spans half of the map. Lincoln's risky Chinese-human-wave strategy has paid off. He has lost over 100,000 soldiers but had expected to do much worse. He still has twice as many soldiers as everyone else combined. Aya accepts her defeat and abandons Four Seasons to be captured by Tenshi. Yorihime repels a Reimu assault from the Dream Ruins and Lab at the far east, killing Elis. (122) Yorihime will seek to claim those territories for herself. Tenshi's main army falls to a human wave that is eight times its size, and Shinki is killed. (123) Yatsuhashi and Eternity Larva score a kill of Rosalina (124) who is immortal and will revive.

Lincoln’s forces took down a couple of microempires, but Rinnosuke creates a new one. He has taken over the entire Human Village! Rinnosuke gives a long and rambling speech about how the human village should be for humans and not for vampires or Immortals, and on the question of whether vampires or Immortals are actually human of which quite a hearty debate could be had on either side of the question, and he also tries to interest the audience in buying stuff from his store. Lincoln sends his forces in to retake the village while everyone is distracted. Yatsuhashi and Eternity Larva conquer Kana’s lunar empire and have claimed half of the Moon for Lincoln. Koakuma is captured, and she willingly joins Lincoln. Lincoln returns her to Remilia. Aunn invades from the Four Seasons Door and captures the Hakurei Shrine. She is the shrine's guardian spirit, after all. Nazrin and Kogasa fight Aunn for the Hakurei Shrine, killing Medicine. (125) One of Lincoln’s leaderless armies scores three kills of Letty, Sara, and the overconfident Immortal Dio. (128) Lincoln's alliance with Patchouli ends, and she claims the Path of Liminality from him. One of Ooedo Doll’s leaderless armies kills Kurumi. (129)

Lincoln's vast army is down to a still-gigantic 340,000 soldiers. That number drops as Yatsuhashi and Eternity Larva attempt to battle Okina and two other A-rankers. Lincoln and Flandre show up and drive them off. Remilia attempts to attack Patchouli, but fails. She could only muster 3,400 soldiers. Lincoln renews the alliance with Patchouli. Aunn surrenders and rejoins Lincoln. The giant number of factions is now down to eleven with Lincoln owning 64 cities and most of the map. Lincoln’s ally Yukari is the only other one worth mentioning, with 14 cities in Makai and the Stairs. Remilia is stuck at two, unable to expand, and Patchy has five. Eternity Larva captures the last of the Moon, except for the Lunar Capital which is held by Yukari. Yorihime invades a divided Heaven, where the rest of Tenshi’s forces are, and kills Koishi Komeiji. (130) Reimu takes down the minor power Magan, but she is now a minor power herself. Lincoln's forces sweep over Heaven and also enter Old Hell where Ooedo Doll has made herself the power. Nazrin and Kogasa overwhelm Okina with numbers. The powerful Okina is nibbled to death by a swarm of mice. (131) Patchy takes one of Remilia’s two territories. Yukari kills Jumpy Villager. (132)

Shion starts a new country in the Moriya Shrine on the Mountain! Lincoln's officer Aunn, who had just rejoined him, leaves to join Shion. Lincoln's officer Aya leaves Hell to fight Shion for the Mountain. Yorihime also joins the fight, since the battle in Heaven is going well. She captures Aunn and throws her in prison. Lincoln is injured in a special event and cannot fight in this round. Flandre can. She attacks Tenshi’s last territory in the stupidest manner possible and loses a third of her army. Patchouli sends two Immortals to fight Remilia, Dumfuc MacClod and Dunkin MacDonut. They look like they could be brothers, except one is really fat. Lincoln forgot to renew the alliance with Yukari and she took a piece of land.

The game decides that Kogasa is a master blacksmith. Maybe because an umbrella looks like a bellows? I have not seen this portrayal of her in any other fanwork. Lincoln returns Yumeko to Remilia since he has enough officers to conquer the world and she is too old to be one of the girls in his TV show. Ooedo Doll's micro-empire falls. Tenshi's empire also falls! The revolts were what defeated her, the rest was cleanup work. Kokoro delivered the final blow. Flandre did not do anything. Bowerick Wowbagger slays Count St. Germain and takes his power! (133) And I spelled Bowerick’s name wrong. Dunkin MacDonut slays Rosalina and devours her power! (134) And he also kills Yuki. (135) Patchouli defeats her old master Remilia and kills her former co-worker and best friend Koakuma! (136) Patchy, why? Why?

Aunn rejoins Lincoln’s team out of prison. Elly also joins! She just shows up one day and joins. Why? "I want to be in your TV show." Lincoln: "Well, you’ll have to lose the Grim Reaper scythe. It will freak out the viewers." Elly: "I will just hide it in the corner of the room where they are not filming." The [Skip To End] button appears! Is it... the Quickening? Lincoln: "Not yet. I want to kill some more people. And make some more money." But I said I was going to end the game when the button appeared, so... you have this turn. Lincoln: "Oh, all right. Let’s see what I can do." Mystia casts her darkness upon Aya, but the other bird breaks through it and kills Dio! (137) Nazrin’s army of mice nibbles Miko to death. (138) Lincoln has one last Immortal duel with Amanda from Highlander Raven. Amanda escapes, but Keine dies in the fighting. (139) Shion’s and Marisa’s micro-empires fall, leaving Yukari (Yellow), Patchouli (Purple) and Suika (Orange).

[Skip to end] pressed, game is done. Flandre has a custom good ending which I am ignoring since I am telling a different story. Lincoln’s final team is: Aunn, Aya, Benben, Doremy, Elly, Eternity Larva, Flandre, Kisume, Kogasa, Kokoro, Nazrin, Yatsuhashi, and Yorihime. To no one’s surprise, the winning side got the most kills. Flandre, Lincoln, and Eternity Larva were in the same squad for most of the game and scored 13, 12, and 11 kills respectively. The leaderless armies of all sides killed 11 unprepared officers. After that, the leaderboard is: 10: Mystia, Reimu 9: Kokoro, Parsee, Yorihime, Yukari, Yuugi 8: Saki, Sumireko, Yumemi 7: Doremy Sweet, Dumfuc MacClod, Okina, Sariel There were 30 Immortals in the game. I had thought there were fewer before counting them. 14 of them survived. Lincoln scored the most Immortal kills by far with 8. Dumfuc and Mokou each took out two Immortals. Bowerick Wowbagger, Dunkin MacDonut, MacJagger, and Mordamir each slew one. We never got to see Tewi say "in the end there can be only bun" but I did code that in. As for the 2hus who do not revive after they are killed, 13 of them were lucky enough to be on Lincoln’s team. Patchy collected 8. Yukari collected 5. Suika is alone. There are 26 wandering survivors, plus two surviving Touhou Immortals. So there are a total of 55 surviving 2hus of the original 159 or so.

Lincoln hangs up his phone after speaking to his agent, and he gives the news to his new hires. "Well, all of last year's girls are accounted for. Two of them moved away when their fathers got new jobs in other towns. Two of them contracted out to a new show. One was hit by a bus. One of the teenagers got pregnant. After all, this is a porn game. So the main thing is that none of them are coming back, so if we are going to have a show about a house full of girls, it's going to be you girls." He gives the bad news to the oldest of them. "Yorihime, you are too obviously a grown-up so you cannot play a little girl, We could possibly give you a small part on the show as a recurring character, like a shopkeeper or an aunt who lives on the far side of town." Yorihime: "Or on the Moon." Lincoln: "The far side of town is more believable." Yorihime: "But I really do live on the Moon." There is more to say. Lincoln: "One of the gimmicks of this show is that everyone's name has to start with ‘L'." Elly: "My name starts with Ell." Lincoln: "Yes, but it has to start with the letter ‘L' and not just the sound L. So how about if we call you... Lucy?" Elly accepts that. "I could be a Lucy." Lincoln turns to the next person. "And, Aya, could we call you... Laya?" Aya: "Hey! Don't you call me a liar. The Bunbunmaru Shinbun is the most respected newspaper in Gensokyo!" Lincoln: "Is it the only newspaper in Gensokyo?" Aya: "There is one other one, Hatate's paper, but they are awful. No one reads that garbage." Eternity Larva: "My name begins with ‘L'." Lincoln: "Yes, it does, but, ah, how do I say this.. 'Larva' is not a very appealing name for a TV audience. We should call you something different." Eternity Larva: "But it's my name..."

Lincoln shoots a promotional short for the TV show. "Hi, my name is Lincoln MacLoud of the clan MacLoud. I live as the only boy in a house with eleven girls! Let me introduce them." "'Llandre‘ and I are about the same age. She wears a wedding dress around the house, and she thinks that she is my wife. Sometimes she will even sleep in my bed. Isn't that silly?" Flandre "I would say ‘lovely'." "And she also thinks that she is a vampire." Flandre smiles and shows off her sharp teeth. "'Lonnie' thinks that she is a guard dog! She runs around the house on all fours, and she will sit by the table and beg for scraps. Isn't that silly? And she has this spike thing on her head and pointed ears. What's up with that?" "Little 'Lissy' is always hiding somewhere. In a bucket, in a closet, in a cupboard, sometimes in the fireplace. Isn't that silly? ... where did she go?" "'Lazolin' thinks that she is a mouse. She wears that mouse-ear headband." Nazrin: "These are my real ears. You told me to wear the headband around them." "Isn't she silly? She wants to eat every kind of cheese that has ever been made, and then she wants to eat the moon because it is made of cheese!" Yorihime: "It is not." "'Lolasa' has different colored eyes. One is blue. One is red. And she always carries an umbrella around inside the house! Isn't that silly? And the umbrella has this weird silly face on one side!" (There is a bulge in the umbrella where it is trying to hold in its large tongue because Lincoln asked it to.) "'Lolo' refuses to speak. She uses masks to express her emotions. Isn't that silly?" "'Lenlen' and 'Lassy' are sisters who play music. They want to be in an orchestra. And they play these weird Far Eastern instruments. Isn't that silly?" "'Lucy' is a polite and refined girl with a Southern drawl." Elly: "I don't have a Southern drawl. My accent is from Makai." "We'll practice it. And she is always the first person to answer the door whenever we have guests. She stands by the door waiting for them whether we have plans for anyone to visit or not. Isn't that silly?" "'Lory' is always tired. She spends most of her time in bed. When she is awake, she wears pajamas and a night cap so she can go back to bed. She is sleeping on the couch right now! Isn't that adorable?" "'Litty' thinks that she is a fairy! She wears wings around the house, and... Hey! Don't fly on camera! People don't know that fairies are real! Can we cut this out?" Aya, behind the camera: "Hell no."

Aya works the camera and also becomes one the show's writers. Her eye for scandals, real or imagined, allows her to perceive conflicts that make for good storylines. Yorihime plays a minor role as "Auntie Lorie" who lives on the far side of town and visits from time to time. The writers exaggerate her personality flaws so much that she nearly quits the show in anger, which is one of those flaws, but she decides to stay on. So that's it. Game's over, story's over. Hope you enjoyed it.

Here's 6th's post in this thread that's not from OP.

>>1930289 Damn, you now owe two children to Kronos for this transgression, for being a filthy Six.