Anyone here been a dominant in an irl, live together relationship? Is there a decent guide on how to help someone be a better dom / me to be a better sub?
My cg and I have been together for a bit...but I really don't feel like they're a dom. Despite them saying they are and them wanting to be my CG I just don't feel like I'm being dominated.
I'm the one that is always making decisions, they'll ask me what I want to do or where we should go, or what we should eat, etc.
Its like I'm always checking on them to make sure they take their medicines, I'm always reminding them of things we need to do or stuff we need from stores. I'm the one who initiates things, like I have to ask to be put in diapers, I have to be the one to be flirty or cute but once the diapers are on, I get some tickles a butt pat then it's back like nothing is different.
I know they're into abdl, they have been from the start. It's how we met. I know they like giving spankings and taking charge...they just won't.
I want to be held down and fucked, or anything at this point. I havent been spanked or punished or really had any sexual contact in ages. Id even take an enforced bedtime or something.
I was supposed to be the one that is just going along with what my CG tells me to do. Following set rules (We made a rules list we both agreed on but they never enforced a single one.) I was the one who wasn't really supposed to make decisions and was to have a CG help me do things, remind me of stuff, diaper me, enforce rules and give structure, let me please my CG by doing chores and in the bedroom.
I just feel like I'm the one being the CG at all times. We don't have a bad relationship, but it definitely doesn't feel like I'm a sub / little. I'm allowed to do, say, act however I want. I'm super spoiled in that regard i guess.
I also have a hard time trusting my CG because the off chance they do make a decision it winds up being terrible. They also were taken advantage of and made bad life choices before we were together. So while i do want them to take charge, i dont think it would turn out good when they did. I can't even trust them to drive us anywhere because I feel like they'll get distracted and get in an accident.
I want to be a good sub/little and be able to enjoy doing things for my dom/CG and give them control, but I'm just finding it difficult with little instructions from the person I'm supposed to sub under.
I see all sorts of cute pictures, cute scenarios other couples have done, cute rules, things I'd love to do with my cg..but they always say things like.."That's staged and not real" "We don't have the space or privacy to do that" " not everyone lives the lifestyle the same way" "you don't really want to do that". It's so frustrating. Yes I know some of it was just a photo opportunity or embellished a bit..but it'd still be fun to do and SOMETHING is better than the NOTHING we're doing now. I've brought up these feelings with my cg...they just think I'm comparing our relationship to others. But I feel like they're just a lazy dom...
Sorry for rant that's a bit all over the place. I know this ain't a blog. Just frustrated and had to vent some..but still some dom/sub materials would be nice to see.