I don't know about actually wanting to be a carer, but I definitely prefer a caretaker focus over a little focus.

It's cute and funny for someone to depend on you like that. Being a caregiver is the ideal. I've been in a cg role with someone before (though we were never that serious) and it's turned me away from denying it and getting into a normal relationship. Seems like there arent as many of us here, and most places you go many carers are low-effort people not really into the abdl side but just tolerant enough.

I'm both. I appreciate being padded up and I love cuddling with a little. Really annoying nobody is willing to be my carer when I feel like being a little though. There's one guy who's in the same boat as me but he lives across the country. Selfish littles are the worst

>>5269 I'm sort of surprised little-little relationships aren't more of a thing. Having a friend to play with is really one of the more fun parts.

>>5271 Most online/Second Life relationships I've seen are basically this, and it's not like a fantasy story at all. It's more "Hey, can you baby me for a while?" "Can you keep me [my avatar] locked in diapers until you have to go?" "Thanks, that was wonderful ♥" Full-time/pure caregivers are very rare.

>>5271 Littles will sit around playing all day till they get a rash and get cranky. They need a big to make sure they keep clean and have their naps.

>>5266 >>5267 There is nothing more cute that having a little snuggling for warms on your lap where you can feed them cocoa and headpats.

I have been AB all of my life. I am 63 now. I was injured 10 years ago and now have 2 pretty girls come 3 times per day to get me up in the morning, showered, diapered and dressed for the day, a diaper change and other stuff at 3pm and then thicker diapers for overnite, pajamas and put to bed at 10. They have accepted my teddy bear and toddler sheets, and put onesies on me: wish I could go for a pacifier and baby bottle but that would be crossing the line. I need the care now for real, but it's sort of like a consolation prize for my injuries

>>8175 Prove it, and provide more details, if it's true. All your picture shows are a few things an ABs could have. Your post sounds like fiction typed out with one hand

I'm dl myself(like wearing and using) but i also really like the idea of taking care of a cute girl who can't control herself. In that vein, does anyone know any good stories that are POV or that you can easily self-insert as the daddy to a abdl girl

>>8175 Congratulations but you are still a massive faggot for not bothering to check what thread you were in.

Not sure this is the right place but only thread I saw that mentioned being a big. I've been with my Mommy for 7ish years been 24/7 for 5 of them, things are still good relationship wise. She takes great care of me, dealing with all my diapers, cuddles, toys, bathes me, puts me down for naps and lots of other stuff! I do lots of things normal men do in relationships for her and around the house too, we have a good balance. I also do little stuff like color, lay in a playpen or cuddle her while wearing a onesie and diaper when we watch tv, or I'll surprise sneak attack her with some stuffies if she's on the computer and I haven't seen her in a while. I still feel guilty at times though because she does so much for me and seems to still love babying me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around what bigs get out of the dynamic I guess because I'm only interested in little stuff. It just makes me feel selfish. She's unable to have real children due to an illness and I kind of took the place as husband and baby. I'm wondering what little things I can do to show her how appreciative and lucky i am to have her and what things i can do to really push those buttons and get her in big mode. TL;DR: Things that really get you into Big CG headspace / Things you love your littles to do for you.

>>9547 >I'll surprise sneak attack her with some stuffies if she's on the computer and I haven't seen her in a while. You're not a little, you're a puppy Littles as long as they keep behaved and do what they are told is enough. Nothing worse than someone who is high maintenance

>>5259 I guess I need to give some background here, due to medical problems I’ve been in diapers most my life, also been an AB most my life too. (WHOLE can of worms I’m not going into here) I had a full time dommy in the past, I learned a lot with her. Things like no adult could really do 24/7. It’s a nice fantasy but you're still an adult with adult wants and needs. She did a GREAT job at balancing having an adult relationship, but knew when a mommy was needed. After about a year we both parted ways for reasons. (again not going into that here) My wife knew all about ABDL from day one and seemed cool with it at first. Over time problems have come up. First I’m gray ace and she is a horn taco to the MAX. Most guys dream of a girlfriend/wife that wants sex 10 times a day everyday, sadly I’m not one of them. So this has been an issue in our marriage for years. She’s one of those “low-effort people not really into the abdl side but just tolerant enough”. She tries to be a good caregiver to me, but she is not that into it or great at it. We have a good healthy relationship and a happy marriage. Well she decided we’re now poly so she could get her sexual wants meet, and I could get a better caregiver. Here is the thing, as I’ve aged I still like being the little but I find I truly do enjoy being a big too. I enjoy giving little the stuff I wished I’d had, plus because of my past experiences I’m pretty good at it. Anyway I have PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder, basically crippling anxiety. I HATE being alone! My wife is an RN, and I work from home in the IT field. I decided to try to find a big that wanted a sometimes adult but most times little relationship. We’re not rich but we’re not hurting for money. We live in a huge 5 bedroom house with a pool, sauna, hot tub on a golf course. Hell I even have a fully loaded nursery, with everything a little could want and dream. Crib, highchair, clothing, diapers both cloth and disposable, tons of toys. (see pic) All I wanted was someone to be here with me, drive when I’m not in the mood, be a caregiver, hell I was willing to change myself too. Free room with attached bath, free food and so on! Well no takers! So I switched to looking for a little same deal but me as the caregiver. Their own fully stocked nursery. I’ll keep them well padded and so forth, they may need to be a big kid every now and then. STILL no takers. So I just gave up! I still play daddy to two little boys every now and then for a few hours. Honestly I can’t figure out this new generation of littles. So YES there are people like me that would LOVE to have a full time little but for whatever reason most littles just don’t want that. Probably for the same reasons me and my dommy parted ways. (again story for another time and place) It’s a GREAT fantasy for both parties but that's all it is.

>>9648 Totally am a little, not puppy. I do what I'm told or I get corner time and/or spanks. >>9660 Sounds like you have a great set-up. Its a big commitment though to move in with someone. Takes a lot of trust and getting to know who youre moving in with too. You're right being little 24/7 is pretty impossible. My mommy and I are disabled military so we get lots of little time to play(more than your average couple I'm sure.) I'm always her diapered boy though no matter where we are and she makes most decisions (female led relationship) but we definitely need time to be adults too. You cant very well walk into a doctor appointment or other businesses and act like a real toddler. Your crib looks similar to mine but we decorated it in baby Looney toons stickers. Also painted the nursery and put a baby loony toons boarder around the center. It's really nice to lay in and see all the diapered characters looking down on you pretty much cementing the idea you're just a baby like them and right where you belong.

>>9662 Oh I TOTALLY agree it is a big commitment to move in with someone, that's why I passed on the “come be our little 24/7” opportunity. At the time I had a good, fun, high paying job. Was putting a lot of work into a car for street racing. Was in college, was looking to get married, was saving money and looking to buy a house. Had lots of future wife, kids, dog and white picket fence dreams. Did get married but due to medical reasons with both me and the wife, kids are a no go. I can’t make them, and it would kill her, the baby or both if she tried to carry them. So we figured if we ever decided we need a kid/kids we’ll just adopt. Car was totaled in a wreck, wasn’t my fault I wasn't even racing it at the time = (. Never did finish college but am no worries off. Bought and sold the house for a bigger one. Do have 2 little dogs, and LOTS of nibbles if I want to do fun stuff with kids. So overall life worked out alright, all thing considered. Yeah I’ve been meaning to do more with nursery walls, just been SUPER busy with other projects. Right now me and a buddy just bought an AXYZ 6000 Series (CNC Router) we’re thinking of starting a IKEA like company for sex/BDSM/Fetish furniture with it. Basically flat pack everything from cribs to highchairs, spanking benches to cages. Because it’s all cut from plywood sheets it would be VERY cost effective. Being flat packed the furniture would be easy to assemble (like IKEA), but could breakdown to fit in a closet or under a bed etc. That way anyone could get, say a crib for a very reasonable price that was easy to set up, easy to take down and hide, and you could get parts, upgrades or addons for it. We are also thinking of hidden in plain sight stuff. Like a coffee table that turns into a spanking bench. Or a Futon that becomes a crib, stiff like that. We’re learning the software end right now and the CNC is making money with a cabinet making company we own, so we’re not in a hurry. Anyway, at some point in time, I may decide to try to find a live-in little or caregiver. I don’t know we'll have to see as I didn’t have much luck last time.

>>9660 >Well she decided we’re now poly so she could get her sexual wants meet >I have PTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder, basically crippling anxiety >Honestly I can’t figure out this new generation of littles JFC anon could've fooled me Anyway you're not looking in the right places, I'm a little boy but I'd take that deal in a heartbeat

Some times I feel very foreign for being a daddy , like if I had a separated fetish but ended up here. ABDL media is very much centred on the littles, for example there are POV videos with a mommy babying you but there are no POV videos where the viewer takes care of a baby. And in the rest of ABDL media the caregiver is not a full character. It's strange but I released I've never been the target of anyone's lust, I don't know what character am I supposed to play in their fantasies. I've always felt out of place and never catered for but I've learn to deal with that.

>>9849 >>9547 here o/ But every little fantasies about having a CG. So you're lusted after by the littles themselves. I know I crave the structure and care given by caregivers and want to be as cute as I can to make my CG happy and show them how much they are appreciated. I do hate there isn't much strictly caregiver videos since it doesn't give me much information on what CG want from their littles. I know my Mommy likes watching littles being spanked. But that is just one thing in her long list of likes. There are tons of list from little about what they want from caregivers. But not many of the reverse.

>>9850 Sorry that I've taken so long to replay but I been thinking over how to answer. I think we need to separate fantasy and reality. Yes most little do want a CG but they want a caregiver like an accessory for their nurseries just a person to take care of them while they don't give anything back, you'll never see a little saying "I´ll totally do chores for my mommy" and this caregiver is not a person beyond that, nobody says "I wish santa clause was my daddy to give me gifts and always celebrate christmas" or "I want a mommy like the host of a toddler show to teach me numbers and colours" and this last one specially bothers me because I don't know what fantasy is expected of me or what fantasy can I offer to be more attractive to a potential partner. On the real world people just talks about what they want and acts them out, plays out the fantasy because it's just that; a fantasy but because I don't have a partner and this input of what others want I'm amiss on what should I offer to a potential partner.

>>11249 Bruh, you could not be more right. I've been a caregiver for a long ass time, and every singe little I've ever had up until my most recent has been exactly like that. They love the idea of having a CG. But not the reality of it. They don't treat me like a partner or even like an actual parent, I would be fine if we had settled into a strictly parent/child relationship. No, they want someone to tell them how cute they are and to change their diapers and spoil them. I had one ex who was so delusional in this shit. When I outlined what I was looking for in a little, I was very specific. I either wanted a partner who I could be intimate with but could also baby, or I wanted someone who was just my kid, and would live as if he was one. He said he'd be able to fulfill the latter. This kid did absolutely nothing to fulfill his end of the bargain. I told him that if he was gonna be my little, and only my little, that I was okay with him not working. But, if he was gonna shirk that level of responsibility, then I got complete control over his life. So I set out a bunch of rules, no adult content, no potty, no walking unless we were in public, etc. This boy broke every singe possible rule, constantly. And then got mad at me when I broke it off. Tried to guilt trip me because he had no income, where was he supposed to go? I told him he knew what was expected of him, and what he was getting into. I wasn't about to let some barely adult zoomer manipulate me into giving him a free ride through life, just cause he was cute. Nobody gets free diapers, that shits expensive. If I'm buying you diapers, then you best be fulfilling my CG fantasies.

>>11250 Fucking ouch, I'm so sorry things have been like that for you anon.

>>11249 Your heart's in the right place but you're being too spergy about it. You want to establish the actual relationship before you worry about whatever specific fantasies. And I would totally do chores for my mommy. >>11250 >But, if he was gonna shirk that level of responsibility, then I got complete control over his life. So I set out a bunch of rules, no adult content, no potty, no walking unless we were in public, etc. You, on the other mitten, can stay well the hell away from me

>>11255 Look, I get that it's not a lifestyle that's for everyone, but it's not like it was forced. He chose that, in exchange for not having to work and getting to be as baby as he wants. But in reality he just wanted to be a bum. He wanted to sit at home, play call of duty, and have me wipe his ass, cook his meals, and buy him everything he wanted. And having had that relationship, I can now see the folly of such a relationship. I don't think anyone would ever actually be okay with that kind of relationship, even if they thought they would be. Adults need a certain level of autonomy. Even the babyish ones. Which is why I don't even put that option on the table anymore. I don't want to take care of someone unless they can demonstrate a level of maturity outside of kink.

When I imagine a fantasy from a caregiver perspective, I think of two scenarios: 1. A child who has started becoming distant from their caregiver, but for so some reason has a change of heart and becomes a little. 2. Two people of different maturity levels who have a growing desire for greater intimacy with each other, and ageplay is just the outlet they found most comfortable. In both cases, there's a pre-existing relationship before diapers are even considered. In real life, ABDL is such a minority that you either need to put your kink first or give up on it altogether to find a partner.

I love dressing up little cute boys as toddlers and cuddling them, but it's only really exciting if they fuss and resist. If they act like babies it's way less fun. I like when they beg to be adults and not have their bog boy undees taken away. It's kinda hard to find cute little guys that enjoy a daddy like me.

>>11255 I just don't expect people to share thir kinks with the real me. >You, on the other mitten, can stay well the hell away from me The other anon has a right to complain >>11256 We need to put an emphasis in the *adult* part of adult baby, if you're not a good adult you'll be a worse baby.

>>11282 Agreed. Unfortunately I found out too late he was a terrible both. But things are a hell of a lot better now, I've got a couple littles that I share a house with, as well as a big that sometimes endulges my little side, and everyone is way more mature. You live and learn I guess, in my defense I was rather young and didn't do my due diligence to make sure that one ex and I would be compatible. I was just happy to have a little that was adorable and wanted me to be their CG. Nowadays I make sure to get to know someone first, and let the relationship blossom naturally. I think that's the key, if someone can be friends and respect those boundaries first, before anything like a relationship forms, they're probably a good find. If the first thing they do upon finding out you're a CG is ask and pester you to take care of them, then they're probably not gonna treat you well.

>>11278 No homo but I wish my wife was like you. She'll indulge me a little bit but I have to really take the initiative in acting babyish. In reality I'd like nothing more for her to scold me for playing "dressup" with big boy clothes, strip me down, spank me, force me into diapers, and tell me it's naptime. All over my complaints.

>>11296 Your mommy shouldn't let a little silly baby like you go around without your diapers on. If I saw you in undees you'd be over my knee and spanked and in fluffy diapers like the little toddler you are. Maybe I should talk to her about how to deal with a silly little baby dressing like a big kid. Or maybe she'd like me to come and babysit... @sfor97660#6655

>>11298 That sounds great, really, but we're not an open relationship. I don't want to just awkwardly not reply to you and leave you without closure when you've posted your contact details, but at the same time I know my wife/CG wouldn't be comfortable with me messaging other CGs since she understands its meaningfulness. I do wish you luck in finding the right fussy baby to discipline.

>>11306 Aww what a good little boy you are for your mommy. She is lucky to have such a sweet little baby boy like you.

>>11250 Instead of taking away toys though you could have given him more chores. Also, if you're the adult and your little isn't behaving... well, that's usually what spankings are for. I can't speak for ~all~ littles, cause I know some really like to get spanked, but um... I don't! D: If a caretaker threatened me with spankings I'd be as submissive as a toddler trying to cry their way out of it! I'm actually starting to think that maybe I should start looking for some kind of caretaker. I've been living with relatives for most of my life and most of my relatives are kinda loners so... I dunno, we don't "interact" much... like we talk about generic shit... but that's mostly it. The problem is that I'm starting to reach an age where my "little" habits are really starting to "catch up"... like not wanting to brush my teeth twice a day... and eating unhealthy food... and staying up all night... like kind of all the time. I kinda need a caretaker just to make me brush my teeth and eat like a normal person. The problem is that whenever someone treats me "little"... eh... I have, um... trouble "adulting". It's like having to ask someone to babysit you, cause if I'm wearing any sort of baby clothes... you're dealing with a toddler in an adult body. I think it's cause of my particular brand of adult baby. It's like Athenian abuse... attachment disorder caused by extreme emotional isolation and constant, unrelenting inhuman expectations. Basically, from about the age of 2 I was expected to act, perceive and function as a tiny adult. If I didn't, well, when I was very small my dad would flick his pointer finger into the side of my head and later he just resorted to strangling me and throwing me into the furniture. So I internally developed a sort of "mental mech suit" that I constantly use to fake at being older, but the "real me" is basically just a toddler and my "adult tech" is designed entirely to function off adult level expectations, so if anyone treats me "little" and if they've got a particularly motherly/nurturing sorta of vibe it's like it completely malfunctions my artificially constructed adult perception. It's like... mommy flavored kryptonite. D: My biggest problem tho is no regular income. I was conditioned for abuse since I was a baby and got used to operating under abusive conditions, to the point where I pretty much destroyed my back doing stupid menial labor jobs. Couldn't ever get a "real job" because I wound up black balled, ironically by people ~from~ this community. But that's okay! One day out of absolute desperation I pleaded with a higher power, with Jesus himself, to help me get a job! So God gave me one! And paid me with infinite creation... https://www.wattpad.com/story/314292288-omnicidal-regrets-of-a-selfish-savant It's the one incredible upside to Athenian abuse... your sense of imagination and ingenuity clocks right off the charts without even trying. Like one day I just got high and like... solved the border problem... https://gab.com/Onideus/posts/106175579745854015 ...unfortunately I'm still largely kinda baby brained, so it's like I have all the power of infinity itself... but, uh... not so focused... and I procrastinate... A LOT! In short... I lack structure. Which makes it very difficult to actually get things done. I feel like... maybe if I had some kind of caretaker who actually understood me, then I could accomplish some really incredible things.

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Sort of like Ozzy... that dude was an absolute wreck without Sharon. That's what I think I need to do... I need to find like... a manager mommy. D: My expectations of a mommy are simple... be like a mommy. Also I would REALLY like to be taken to Disneyland sometime! Like, I don't want to ~go~ to Disneyland, I want someone to ~take~ me to Disneyland! :D #ABSquadGoals

Anyone here been a dominant in an irl, live together relationship? Is there a decent guide on how to help someone be a better dom / me to be a better sub? My cg and I have been together for a bit...but I really don't feel like they're a dom. Despite them saying they are and them wanting to be my CG I just don't feel like I'm being dominated. I'm the one that is always making decisions, they'll ask me what I want to do or where we should go, or what we should eat, etc. Its like I'm always checking on them to make sure they take their medicines, I'm always reminding them of things we need to do or stuff we need from stores. I'm the one who initiates things, like I have to ask to be put in diapers, I have to be the one to be flirty or cute but once the diapers are on, I get some tickles a butt pat then it's back like nothing is different. I know they're into abdl, they have been from the start. It's how we met. I know they like giving spankings and taking charge...they just won't. I want to be held down and fucked, or anything at this point. I havent been spanked or punished or really had any sexual contact in ages. Id even take an enforced bedtime or something. I was supposed to be the one that is just going along with what my CG tells me to do. Following set rules (We made a rules list we both agreed on but they never enforced a single one.) I was the one who wasn't really supposed to make decisions and was to have a CG help me do things, remind me of stuff, diaper me, enforce rules and give structure, let me please my CG by doing chores and in the bedroom. I just feel like I'm the one being the CG at all times. We don't have a bad relationship, but it definitely doesn't feel like I'm a sub / little. I'm allowed to do, say, act however I want. I'm super spoiled in that regard i guess. I also have a hard time trusting my CG because the off chance they do make a decision it winds up being terrible. They also were taken advantage of and made bad life choices before we were together. So while i do want them to take charge, i dont think it would turn out good when they did. I can't even trust them to drive us anywhere because I feel like they'll get distracted and get in an accident. I want to be a good sub/little and be able to enjoy doing things for my dom/CG and give them control, but I'm just finding it difficult with little instructions from the person I'm supposed to sub under. I see all sorts of cute pictures, cute scenarios other couples have done, cute rules, things I'd love to do with my cg..but they always say things like.."That's staged and not real" "We don't have the space or privacy to do that" " not everyone lives the lifestyle the same way" "you don't really want to do that". It's so frustrating. Yes I know some of it was just a photo opportunity or embellished a bit..but it'd still be fun to do and SOMETHING is better than the NOTHING we're doing now. I've brought up these feelings with my cg...they just think I'm comparing our relationship to others. But I feel like they're just a lazy dom... Sorry for rant that's a bit all over the place. I know this ain't a blog. Just frustrated and had to vent some..but still some dom/sub materials would be nice to see.

>>25957 https://youtu.be/fXnjgbp0QQY

>>25957 Ironically, you have to take charge here and tell them how you feel using non-accusatory language. Basically "I feel unsatisfied and that my feelings are invalidated when you dismiss my fantasies and won't give them a chance. Is there a reason why? For me to feel satisfied I *need* you to take charge and really dominate me." Open communication is crucial in solving issues within relationships, especially sexual ones. If your partner gets mad and you're wording it the way I worded it above: That's no fault of your own. Try to explore their feelings as well.

>>25960 I know communication is essential, I've told loads of others the same thing. I've tried to voice what I want to try and what I'd like. That I really want to be dominated and several scenarios I want to try. It feels like it's just met with reasons why we don't, that what I'm talking about isn't real cg/l daily life, and promises that we'll be able to do some of it later. Usually after our conversation, they'll ask if I want to be put in a diaper now...which just makes it feel like they're doing it to appease me but not because it's what they want...kind of like they're going through the motions and not really into it. I've toyed with the idea of trying to top from the playpen...but that's not really what I enjoy. I don't want to come up with the scenarios and what things we do...I just do it now because I'm craving any form of a real cg/l lifestyle. I desperately want my cg to dom me and take control. That's honestly how it feels a lot of the time when we do baby stuff. Like they're just going through the motions and they aren't really engaged. It really makes me start to think "Are they actually attracted to this? Do they really enjoy being a cg? Am I doing something wrong? Do I look weird doing this? Am I not cute enough for them to really enjoy and get turned on by this?" stuff like that. I want them to do these things because it's what they enjoy and get turned on by. I want to also know the things I do make them happy and that they enjoy our relationship more when I serve their wants/needs. I want them to enjoy dominating me and giving me tasks/rules/picking out clothes for me they want to see me in. Whatever they want me to do I'd be willing to do, I don't want to come off as selfish I want to fulfill their needs/wants too. I'll ask if they need help around the house and they tell me things like "You can just sit there and be my cute baby." But that doesn't feel like I'm really serving them. Or I'll tell them I feel bad for not being a little more often or being a sub for them. and they give me the generic "You're always my little baby no matter what you're doing or wearing." Which yeah, that's cute and nice to hear, but I don't feel like I'm in a cg/l relationship and where I am actually subbing for them. For the record, I'm not asking to be a baby 24/7, I know that's not possible and burnout can occur. I would just like some rules, directions, chores, and aspects of little space 24/7. The things I'm asking for aren't even really that crazy. Just occasionally like putting out a playmat or playpen (both things we already have) and telling me I can't move off it or leave the area until my cg tells me or lets me out. For it to be somewhat normal for me to be laying in front of my cg while they're reading or watching tv and me playing in the playpen, to have my diaper randomly checked or changed without me having to tell my cg I could probably use a change, Them telling me it's time for a nap or bedtime and to help me get ready or make sure I brush my teeth and stuff. Actually having rules and expecting me to follow them and doing punishment stuff if I don't. I also want them to use me at times, say they're feeling sexual and they want me to fulfill that desire from them, tell me they'd want that, and let me handle those needs for my cg. As it is right now most of the time I do get into a diaper, I run to get a stuffie and curl up on my side of the couch with it and they're on their side...and we just watch tv without much really changing in our dynamic. It's just like...okay you're in a diaper, that's all that's changed. You're not in little headspace, you just go about doing whatever and come tell me when you want a change. They've toyed with the idea of maybe finding some more baby friends for me to bring to the house and play with, but my CG barely does any stuff with me, doesn't really enforce rules, and doesn't act like a dom. I just feel like it'd be a waste and the baby friend I brought over would end up feeling like I do, where we'd get put in diapers and then nothing else would happen. I think it'd be better if we found another cg/l couple to play with together, but I don't believe my cg wants to be around other cgs.

>>25973 >Usually after our conversation, they'll ask if I want to be put in a diaper now...which just makes it feel like they're doing it to appease me but not because it's what they want...kind of like they're going through the motions and not really into it. another thing about this is the fact they ask me..instead of telling me I'm getting put in a diaper or being upset that I wasn't in a diaper already...maybe I just need to start peeing my pants anytime I'm not wearing them.

>>25973 Sounds like you need therapy or a moderator to work out your feelings. >don't believe my cg wants to be around other cgs. Is this a thing? Do bigs just not like doing things with other bigs? Is it a power struggle thing?