Oh, look! /flg/! What's that, you ask? It's a semi-anonymous 4chan general for discussing F-list, from profile creation to the site culture, and everything in between. What's not to love? It's a novel idea, creating a general thread where anons can share their profiles and chat about the site, but there's just one problem.
<*The Nerd gazes, forlorn, at the screen. The words are typed in greentext -- the only reply to his post all thread: Kys DoK*
=It's the fucking schizos!
No, really. This thread is crawling with them. Ask about a kink? Get called a pedo. Try to engage in sincere conversation? Get accused of being a namefag. Don't even get me started on shilling. Posting your profile in this putrid puddle of piss is like hiring a hitman on your own dick. All it takes is one shill, and the schizo is going to be on your ass like a hemorrhoid, and you'd better hope that you're not the slightest bit popular or else that hemorrhoid is really going to fester. Sometimes, you can't even avoid it! No, really, look here. I haven't posted my profile in three weeks, and here comes this asshole pretending to be me and fake shilling in the thread anyway! What a cocksucker! You might as well not even try to call him out on it, otherwise he'll start glitching the fuck out and spamming about emo boy for the next fifty posts! This is horse shit! Horse shit right out a rancid donut, and not the kind you buy at the store.
<*The nerd reports the eighth post malding over Solomon in a row as a spambot. He then begins to send his weekly 3x3, only to realize that he's already been banned for false reports.*
Wait... no. You've gotta be fucking me right now.
You get banned... if you report it.
The mods ban you if you report the schizo. And the worst part? He's still there, copy-pasting 8thread posts and screaming about Sleepy Daddy like nothing happened! That's right, the moderation on /trash/ is bugged. It doesn't work! The mods just ignore reports while this dick goes apeshit in the thread! Like the worst kind of NTR cuck, they just sit there and do nothing while you get fucked. Like, what, am I supposed to stop him myself? Do I punch the goddamn monitor? You'd think you can make fun of him -- I mean, it's hard not to, the guy's a brown /pol/cel -- but no. He gets no play, and he has no shame. There's no way to get rid of him! This enemy is complete bullshit.
Like, what were they thinking? No, really, what the fuck were they thinking!? How do you fuck this up so bad? Between the piss-poor post quality, namefag drama, schizo scatposting, anal-leakers, and /pol/posting, this thread is a mess. It's dogshit! Doodoo! Rancid feces dribbling out of a rusty sewage pipe! Cold, mixed with piss and cum, and gone down the drain a long time ago. I'd rather stick toothpicks up my urethra than read this shitty read.
<*The nerd closes his 4chan tab and navigates to the F-chat login page.*
But hey, at least you don't need to engage with it to enjoy the site itself, right? The general might suck, but it has little bearing on my overall enjoyment of the chat. Now, let's see what we can get up to here on my pink, The Lascivious Latex Lover.
<*The distinct sound of the F-list ping catches The Nerd's attention. The optimism fades from his face as he stares at the blank avatar in the corner of his screen. With a shaky hand, he moves the cursor over and clicks on the message. A single "hi miss" is all that he recieved.*
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!