Hibernation over, Ferrari alive in Baku, some retarded trivial weekend format I don’t care to learn happening on Saturday, we shall return to weekly scheduled slurpage on Sunday

Ferrari dead in Baku, Max shitter-shattered after having one of his signature overtake moves used on him. Rubbin’s racin, stop whinging. “They race me so hard”

What a miserable boring race, not even a safety car caused by De Vries choking into the wall spiced it up. These new car regs are a dud, to the surprise of nobody, and the only good developments is that Mercedes are facing karma for seven years of FIAMG, and Alonso having a car that isn’t total shite. Friendly reminder that only four drivers, and Red Bull+Mercedes have won every WDC and WCC since 2009. Even more embarrassing was the commentators suggesting that RB should be giving team orders to Perez (four races into the season) even though he’s actually fighting for the lead of the championship. Only excitement was Alpeen forgetting to change tyres and forcing Ocon to dodge pedestrians in the pit lane on the last lap.

Another snoozer down, this time Miami. Get to see such exciting developments like Alonso driving both Astons, Sainz getting a speeding ticket that has no effect on the outcome of the race, and yet another Red Bull 1-2. Choke-o Perez can’t convert a pole into a win even when his teammate starts P9, LeClerc has clearly mentally checked out and I don’t blame him; there is no reason for Ferrari to be this slow. Alpine-Renault are also supposedly pulling out, as is common for French entrants. Spend a heap of money, accomplish nothing, leave with head hung in shame only to rejoin a few years later and start the whole process over again.

This is where I’d put my review of the Imola GP… IF THEY HOSTED ONE

A championship so boring I forgot to post two weeks in a row >Monaco Asston Shartin throw away a potential race win by putting Alonso on slicks whilst half the track is underwater, guaranteeing a Max win as Choke-o Perez (street fighter extraordinaire) languished outside of the points due to crashing out in Q1 >Spain Such a snoozer I checked out halfway through. Exposure central, LeChoke qualified in P19 on pure pace, and finished in BFE. Sainz started in P2 and then faded behind the surging M*rcedes. Perez? Who the fuck is that? Alonso uncharacteristically slow, outqualified and outperformed by a fucking Leaf. Nothing happened all race.

Leaf GP over and done with. Once again, Max beats everyone to T1 and scampers away without challenge because Perez is a seatwarmer and the FIA can't help but suck off Red Bull and Mercedes. Only events of note note was a VSC caused by an american Sergeant having a moment in Quebec just like 1812, and NARB KWABing himself into the wall. Qualifying was more entertaining. Just watch MotoGP

And now Austria. Max pulls a second a lap on the Ferraris despite the Fs being on better tyres, Checo does nothing. Maximum slurpage. NEXT

Just like in the sweltering summer of 1969, the promise of Agent Orange fails to produce results in Britain. At least Norris manages to hold off the NIGGER despite McLel putting him on the worst tyres imaginable after a late safety car. Otherwise, Perez is now reaching critical levels of exposure after having a multiple race streak of being bumped in Q1 and barely finishing in the points on Sunday. Ferrari who?

Lewis runs out of Ham despite qualifying P1. Joe waGwan, You kills both Alpines and Ricciardo in T1, Ric manages to only be mildly exposed in his return. McLaren is back, Ferrari is over, Red Bull breaks the win streak record. Hungary down, Belgium next.

Perez and Ricciardo are shit in Belgium, and summer break is upon us. Thank god

And so we return, to Holland. Ric dies in qualifying, and on sunday even the rain gods playing tricks can't stop VerWinsLol. Perez gets gifted a golden opportunity in strategy, can't capitalise, and then follows LeClerc on giving up on life just as the race gets red flagged because of a dead chink on track. Just gotta get through this season

Ferrari choke in Monza, Max breaks records. Not worth discussing more

Scriptopore.

And RB wins the WCC at their second home GP. Bottas is killed by Sergeant, and Perez commits public harakiri out of shame. McLarens do well, Mercs try to kill each other.

Max is so dominant he wins the WDC on Saturday, with six races left in the season. On Sunday, Al Hamil tries to kill his teammate but kills himself instead whilst Sargeant retires from mental fatigue.

Max starts P6 in COTA giving the false hope for a non-RB win, but it doesn't matter because McLel and Ferlelri throw away P1 and P2 with abhorrent strategies.

Perez suffers yet another humiliation ritual, this time at his home GP. Max walks away in the lead from another LeClerc win, and I check out at the halfway point.

Silliness in L1 at Brazil, then 70 laps of nothing

Max converts another Chuck pole into a win in Vegas.

Thank god the season is finally over. Leclerc running the strateggi at Ferrari, and Max wins to round of this abhorrent championship. Here's to 2024, I need a bloody drink

first half of 2024 was so lame I sat out the season, only to miss the McLaren Surge in the second half. first McL WCC since 1998, but Lando couldn't stop choking away points and lost the WDC to Max. Stories for 2025 is fully one quarter of the grid are rookies, and multiple top teams have had a driver shakeup. Welp, into Australia. most of the Class of 2025 KWAB in the changing conditions, Hadjar doesn't even make it past T1 on the warmup lap. will be hard to top that for Exposure. Hamilton also immediately experiencing Regretti in his first race for Ferrari, the systematic buckbreaking is going to be one of the highlights of the season. McLaren were set for a 1-2, with a possible Piastri win on the table.. until PS3 spins into the grass from two poots of rain. Lando holds off Max to take the first race of the season.

whats the appeal of this "sport" exactly? watching how some retard wins by driving the most expensive car?

It was interesting reading your assessment of the 2023 season, in retrospective is where RB committed a fatal mistake that so far has costed them the 2024 WCC and 2025 doesn't look great either with ONCE AGAIN Verstappen being the only one that can drive that vehicle Red Bull paid Perez millions to rescind his contract just for Lawson to be actually worse than him LOL. Tsunoda has two races so far, and the two Bulls finally scored but I'm not convinced the second seat curse is over, Perez was able to start every season strong before the upgrades came, it's wait and see how Tsunoda copes with them. Also Norris keeps being a /weakmind/ and Piastri looks stronger than him bar the fuck up in Australia. Mercedes can become contenders if they nail their first upgrade package. And ONCE AGAIN it looks Next Year ™ will be the year for Ferrari.

>>29 the appeal is having something to watch at 2am

they lock the board after a year of me being the only poster, only to have to open it back up two weeks later because the fedsite got nuked. alright. the skinny of the season as of Saudi Arabia: •Liam Lawson wins the exposure championship only two races into the season, getting replaced with Tsunoda for the JPGP •FIA are in love with McLaren •PS3 has game •Hamilton consistently losing to LeClerc

>>29 it's a team sport. you admire the engineering and the teamwork. do you moan about soccer not being exclusively about the goalie?

exciting opening stint in Miami, and McLaren are well and truly back; in form they have not seen since the Hakkinen years. Piastri proving he isn't a fluke and is a championship contender. Meanwhile the buck breaking is continuing in the Ferrari garage. The rules about running wide attacking drivers is getting silly, this never used to be a problem but now every weekend we have drivers nearly killing each other to force one another off-track. This is going to come to a head in a really nasty way, sooner rather than later.

not even a late safety car from a dead Mercedes can stop Max from walking away from the field in Imola. The season looks like it'll be trading domination between the Red Bull and the McLaren.

>Penske Josef KNEWgarden. Pato O'Ward got screwed last year.

a procession at Monte Carlo, in spite of some nonsense rules about having to use all three compounds in the hopes of different pit strategy. Everyone is a coward unwilling to overtake, and the end result is basically everyone finishes where they started. Something needs to be done about this, the cars are too fat. They need to take a foot out of the wheelbase, 250lb out of the weight, and maybe change up the layout. My suggestion? swap the pit lane onto the harbourfront in front of the swimming pool, and have the track run along the old harbourfront where the pit lane currently is. Get a longer run and more space into Rascasse. Then move the T1 kerbing back and in to make more room for two cars.

Monaco is always boring. Indy 500 time.

more buck breaking in Spain, Hamilton gets overtaken by a Sauber on pure pace whilst LeClerc capitalises on a typical Max meltdown after a late safety car, finishing 3rd. PS3 consolidates gainz over No Rizz. Red Bull have spent so much time developing the car for Verstappen that nobody else can drive it, Tsunoda is now consistently finishing behind both Toros Rosso. fun commentary with Nico Bossberg in the booth, at least

oh boy have we got ourselves a season. der Hund awaken, with Ruslel leading Verstappen leading Antonelli home in Canada. real story is Norris KWABing himself into his teammate in the closing laps going for a gap that isn't there. what an utter shame the second Red Bull is nowhere, we could've been looking at a 5 way fight for the title.

orange army wins in Austria, but it's the British one rather than the Dutch. first stint is full of excitement, including Max getting wrecked out by Antonelli. the race then devolves into a sleeper with the only interesting happening is Ferrari pitting Hamilton for no reason, presumably just to give LeClerc third. if I were Max, I wouldn't have even bothered going back to the paddock, I would've just chilled in the stands with the fans

changing conditions produces KINO of the highest order in Silverstone, Norris wins at home because PS3 era penal, Verstappen loops it behind the safety car, HULKENBERG FIRST PODIUM We don't need no full wet tyres We don't need no race control Dark clouds looming over the race track Directors, leave the race alone Hey! Director! Leave us drivers alone! All in all it's just another KWAB in the wall

you heard of the Thrilla in Manilla? well this was the Sleepa in Spa. Another race start delayed because of mildly moist conditions because of nu-F1 being afraid of full wets (they genuinely have not been used since 2022). Such a snoozer in fact I didn't even watch the race. Checking the stats afterwards shows that was a good call, Piastri got past Norris at the start and from then on no changes happened at the front for the rest of the race. The top 5 never even came close to each other.

Leclerc was poised to win in Hungary until Ferrari remembered they're supposed to be the strategic retards of F1, gave him an unfavourable engine mode that cost him a podium to Russell. Meanwhile Norris puts on a strategic masterclass that took him from 4th to 1st, despite a late challenge by Piastri. championship points gap is now <10 going into the summer break.