I have an announcement I banged Kira Neris' mom. On this most joyous occasion I would like to extend my gratitude to the Bajoran people for breeding such fine tail. I will be allowing slightly higher rations for everyone allowed to participate in the gratitude festival as well as shorter working hours for everyone else. I hope you all have found things to be grateful for during the year as my reign has been a marked improvement from my predecessor in most major metrics. We would also like to welcome new guards to the station by teaching them how to correctly bruise kidneys, volunteers will be rewarded with free medical care, double rations and comfort women once they can stand up.