>success is when i can keep everything peaceful
>i dont want things to get worse
>but i dont need it to get better
>i think where i am is enough
>i am very happy and very comfortable with where i am now
>as you can tell, im not being like "chat i need to be a bigger, better stream, i need to grow my audience"
>i dont want all of that
>i just want everything to stay the same
>thats my version of success
>but my version of success requires other people to align with me
>which is very very hard to do
>i dont ask for much
>i know i ask for things, but im not like "chat, were going to do this&that and this&that, were gonna be bigger better, more famous, i want people to know my name"
>i dont need that
>if have that, yay, but if i dont im okay with it
>my success is peace, i want everyone to feel peace
>but its so hard, because so many people are different
>some people relate to how i feel, some people are more ambitious
>and people like me, hold back people like that
>
>...
>
>and what makes me feel like a failure is when something bad happens
>and i tried to maybe make things a little better, i tried to talk it through
>choose the most passive option, and it doesnt work, and i feel like a failure
>
>...
>
>nothing makes me happier than knowing things are stable
>but stability comes with unchanging
>and for people who are more ambitious, or they want something more, or they want something different
>people like me hold them back, and i also dont want to hold them back, i want to support you the best i can
>but i have seen too many people
>they were good people
>but they were so ambitious
>and ambition fuckin kills them man
>you know how many times ive met someone and im like "wow youre such a good person"
>and theyre so ambitious, and i love that for them, its like you meet someone and youre like "wow youre so full of fire, and thats so great"
>and then, a year, you dont even know them anymore
>like they do shit, they say shit, and youre like "wtf happened to you"
>theyre never happy
>ambition is great
>wanting to be a better person is great
>but turning into somebody who is never happy, never satisfied
>never ever feeling like "yes. i am grateful for where i am"
>kills me man