I had a really weird last few days. I posted that I let down both of my oshis and went to sleep pretty bummed. I was also really down the next day. Didn't watch either of their streams. I think I may have gotten an answer to the question I see on here a lot, "would your oshi notice if you were missing from stream", from one of them. Maybe it was just a coincidence. I found out that I didn't mess up as bad as I thought, at least with her. Now I have to figure out how to make amends with my other oshi. I really do feel bad about what I did, even if it wasn't on purpose.