>>472498
If you want me to be real without any pretense or bullshit for once, I did consider therapy many times in the past, but not over my goslinging. I'm sober enough right now (emotionally, but also in the literal sense kek) to honestly say: While my goslinging over Filian has definitely not made me any more stable emotionally, it has not created any issues or honestly even made them much worse. For a few years I was genuinely suicidal or pretty close to it, and after that I became so apathetic and detached from everything around me that its honestly surprising me every day a new that I became the type of person to care this much about anybody, let alone a virtual catgirl. It's got it's ups and downs for sure and I can't pretend that negative emotions aren't, well, negative, but by comparison I feel like I havent been feeling, honestly, anything for years before this. I cannot confidently tell you that this is helping me, but hand on my heart, I cannot honestly tell you it's hurting me either in the grander picture. Btw the reason I never went to therapy is pretty much that same apathy and a mixture of hopelesness, thinking that it wouldnt help anyway and anxiety over the idea that if even that wouldn't help I am gonna remain the way I am forever. I have no idea how this is gonna end up for me, but at least it feels like I am moving. Who knows if forward, but at least something is changing in my psyche for once.
Unless you wanna hear more schizoid depression tales I am done talking about myself now, sorry.