Let's get the obvious shit out of the way: >AJ wins by pinning Ziggler >Charlotte wins to move on to face Asuka because Rito doesn't matter

Fatal 5-Way for the WWE championship AJ Styles (c) vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn -AJ WILL WIN BECAUSE WWE IS RACIST and AJ is a homophobe -Sami should win as WWE needs a Muslim champ or even Kevin is OK because he promotes size acceptance SmackDown women's championship Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Ruby riotttttttttttttttttt -CHARLOTTE WILL WIN, WHY IS NAOMI NOT IN THIS MATCH???? WE NEED MORE DIVERSITY United States championship Bobby Roode (c) vs. Randy Orton -Two Mediocre straight white males - PASS. Roode retains, hope Orton gets injured because he supports TRUMP. SHAME. SmackDown tag team championships The Usos (c) vs. The New Day -THis will be match of the year because there are 0 white men -If it does not main event, WWE is racist -New day should win because White people had slaves in past Asuka should come out and challenge Alexa Bliss - Asian women need to be represented too.

>>101121 >this entire post

>>101121 This isn't even good satire

>>101120 Shit, forgot but didn't they add Cena to the match? If so I say Cena eats the pin from AJ to continue his "I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE GUYS! NO WAY TO WRESTLEMANIA! HOW AM I GONNA GET THERE!" storyline which no one buys because no one bolieves Cena will have a hard time finding his way on to the card.

J U S T

>>101119 >WWE Championship Probably this >>101129 >Wymyns championship Dont's care >United States championship No idea, maybe Roode, Orton has done fuck all since WM33. >SmackDown tag team championships Maybe New Day but I don't really care again. You missed out listing other matches as well, but it's not like those matches mean anything. Feels like an absolute filler PPV, or doesn't feel like the big last PPV before Mania because SD feels like a bowl of nothing.

>>101291 So they basically added Cena hoping it'll draw more people? In a storyline nobody with a brain is buying (MUH 17th win and MUH WRESTLEMANIA)? And this is supposed to be a 3 hour PPV? So where's Jinder (I haven't watched Smackdown in a while)?

>>101303 One of the Singh brothers is out with an injury and for some reason that means he can't even walk out and give an intro/play a manager, so all they have Jinder doing is playing a third wheel in the Boring Roode vs RKO feud because his "pushed to the moon" feud with Randy wasn't awful enough.

>Fatal 5-Way for the WWE championship AJ Styles (c) vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn Cena, OTHERWISE HOW WILL HE HAVE A ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA™?! >SmackDown women's championship Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Ruby riotttttttttttttttttt Both good sports entertainers, my heart says Ruby but it will be Charlotte. >United States championship Bobby Roode (c) vs. Randy Orton [LOUD SNORING] >SmackDown tag team championships The Usos (c) vs. The New Day New day so they can drag this on for months again

Nakamura's gonna RICE this qt.

Nakamura's gonna RICE this qt.

>>101343 >>101344 You're going to the gas chamber, schlomo.

I actually had a dream about Fastlane this morning. Nothing related to what will actually happen for what should be obvious reasons. >booley and botcha are on the show for some reason, something happens backstage, there's real SHOOOOOOOOT heat between them >it's time for a specialty match, using large parade floats for some reason >also for some reason myself and my dad are on booley's float driving it, I forget my phone on a table >Dunn fucks up, starts playing the entrance music for booley late and she doesnt' have her stupid flailing balloon things >get to the other side to park the parade float, borrow someone's phone to shitpost on /wooo/ about what's happening and Booley and Botcha getting into a SHOOOOOOT fight >the specialty match is some autistic fake medieval fight thing with Vince and Shane McMahon, myself, and someone else vs Booley (who fucked up and didn't have her fake sword and also looked angry), some short woman, some unidentified women >the point of the match was to knock the weapon out of the other person's hand and "capture" them >Vince attempted some comedy thing with his fake armor getting locked up and having trouble drawing his sword >Booley just sits there and pouts as she jobs out to the fourth guy >defeat and "capture" the short woman >turns out she's wearing a [redacted] shirt and has a [redacted] >some verbal foreplay while mics are not picking anything up >end up fucking later >all of this is 1000 times more exciting than the real show we're going to get

AJ retains Charlotte retains, possible cash in tease. Maybe Asuka finally announces she's using her Rumble win to challenge for the SD title, although it might be too soon for that. Roode retains, hopefully someone goes heel Usos retain, have to face BB at WM Shinsuke wins, because why would he lose The blond team wins the pissBREAK match since piss is yellow Not sure what the preshow will be. Probably either Breezango or Ascension jobbing to Gable/Benjamin.

>>101344 >>101343 Go to bed, Taguchi.

>>101351 Yet you'll claim I'm the autistic one

>>101717 oops wrong thread derp

>>101549 You are autistic.

>>101719 So? You don't see me having retarded dreams like that.

>>101720 There's nothing retarded about fucking a good looking woman.

>>101720 >So? So you're a literal autist footfag.

>Fatal 5-Way for the WWE championship >AJ Styles (c) vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn And cena?

>>101121 Asuka will be blacked by the new day

>>101847 Dreams aren't reality. >>101851 So? Literally nothing wrong with autism.

>>101857 That's what you think, brainlet. You probably don't even know how to cross dimensions.

Corbin needs to either ask Cena and Orton how they saved their hair, or give up and shave it off. That hairline is struggling.

>>101861 Hair Transplants.

By the way the pre show match is 10 man and breezango vs benjamin, gable and mojo "what was even the point of my heel turn" rowley.

Where's the livestream tonight fellas?

what the fuck was books problem right there lol

>>101868 http://watchwrestling.nl/watch-wwe-fastlane-2018/ as usual

If THE wwe put as much effort into everything else as they put into video packages this would be a great show.

Wow booker just flat out said that randy doesn't actually give a fuck about the us title.

>>101869 >>101872 It's all a work, Maggle! So funny!

>>101872 He's not wrong

>>101872 Wew

>>101857 >Literally nothing wrong with autism. It means your brain doesn't function properly, I'd say that's pretty wrong.

>>101872 >>101874 Boreton's always been an entitled cunt in the business that doesn't deserve the pushes and rewards he gets; yet at the same, his competition is a joke.

Too bad Jinder is a bad wrestler.

>>101872 >lose wwe title to jobber for no good reason >not allowed to get it back ever >demoted to us title <why does he not care

I-is this a pipebomb?

Oh shit here comes a lawsuit.

>Afrojew acts like a smart-ass <Gets btfo by Dolph Wew

It must suck for people like the mallet mates and zack ryder to not even make it into the six man pre show of a filler show on the b show comprised of multi person matches thrown together. Oh shit tye is still here.

>>101886 >I'd mark for it.

>Rhonda commercial Nikki, Botcha, and Nia on suicide watch lol. So much for that WYMZ RVLUCN.

>YOU CANT WRESTLE <They just hate Mojo Uh, Corey it might be this match in general.

Is taima alive this time?

>>101892 yes

10dude push?

This match looks like it was put together at the last moment, sloppy as hell. Mojo actually got pinned by tye "have you see this man?" dillinger. That dude is getting future endeavored.

>>101896 As long as Gronk is still alive and the WWE is out of touch, Mojo will be employed.

>Be on dude weed lmao stream >As soon as the pre show ends virus alerts start popping up T-Thanks.

Oh for fuck's sake, is the sportsarefree.xyz stream permanently dead or do taimafags just intentionally choose the malware players?

>>101901 I had almost 1000 ads blocked.

Good free antivirus? Microsoft's has been pretty good but I have to wonder with how shit taima is.

Wasn't fastlane supposed to be a themed PPV? Where are the decorative cars and shit?

SHINSUKE YOU JUST TAP OUT

>>101908 THAT COSTS TOO MUCH ACHOO ACHOO

>>101908 Not even the creative team gives a shit anymore.

>>101908 They can't afford that or Pyro.

>>101913 Or have a female wrestler that can pull off the flag shit like Eva Marie.

>>101915 Never do this again.

>>101915 Honestly, if you didn't know any better, you'd think the guy on the left actually wasn't a faceswap. Even looks more human than the Jew bird does

>>101917 You're right, Alexa looks absolutely inhuman.

>Face does a heel move behind a referee How does this make sense?

Yeah, let's just make the most popular guy on the roster lose to the guy that's done nothing in the wwe, every time.

>>101922 >the rumble winner should totally lose guys!! >posting a black pic

>>101923 (You)

This Randy vs Roode feud would have been so much better if Roode would have been like, "Hey, fuck you, buddy," and just left it at that.

Rightful winner coming through.

>>101928 Being outperformed by Nak and Ruru

BORING US I WILL SLEEP IN I WILL SLEEP IN

Fug dis time to make dinner.

Least protected finisher in the company.

>>101932 Miz's finisher and the Zig zag.

Are those "BYRON SAXTON" chants?

>>101934 >getting worked by Dunn's editing

>>101934 That's not fair yoshi hashi was there.

>>101936 Why would Dunn deliberately make the crowd dead silent

>>101938 To work all you marks into thinking nobody cares about the show of course. :^)

>>101938 He's muting the crowd so you can't tell how silent they are.

>>101940 >>101941 >>101938 >>101936 When the crowd is only excited when Boreton is about to end a shitty match only to have the match extended…

Yeah, stupid marks, the crowd is wild and you're just being worked.

1 fucking hour in, and the crowd is already dead…

>>101908 I just noticed there's car noises when they do a replay.

>no one does it better >I think Orton might have hurt himself in the process Way to go Corey.

I hope whatever comes next wakees me up or I'm going to bed.

>>101949 nice gif

>>101949 >a gif for ants

>>101949 Did you save a macro from taima you butt burglar?

DESIGNATED SHITTING BELT TIME.

It's finally ov- >More shit added to this match Just let the fucking match end.

I'm sure you guys are all going to pay $9.99 to see Randy, Jinder, and Roode. A real ticket seller

>>101958 >Crowd cheers for the guy who lost

>Ronda promo package on a SD PPV Oh fuck right off.

>>101961 Dude, we just had a Rhonda commercial during the pre-show

>Word's greatest athlete >Get's stomped out twice thoroughly by the slightest bit of real competition Choose one.

>>101962 At least that's just the pre show.

>>101961 >t. wymyn's division

>>101963 >Tries to hide her tears when she got bitchslapped hard

God I wish Stephanie would slap me like that

Rhonda is so hated even Taima streams had to put on Jhon's Snl shit

Chavo guerrero ans Carlitos Caribbean against the usos in wrestlemania 34

>>101969 Stop the pain

>>101973 it's a work brother

MONEY IN THE BANK WINNER >does nothing with it

>>101975 Wait to wrestlemania

Good god, Carmella always needs to have that gear on. Top tier autismu

>>101977 She'll still do nothing like they're doing nothing with Botcha and Booley

>>101976 Oh no

Natalya and Naomi are the only two with decent outfits on. I don't know what the fuck Becky is wearing. >Corey ranting off to Byron about off-topic shit What?

>>101981 Becky's ass though

>>101981 Singlet Caramel is the best, nerd.

>>101957 That feel when no sigler vs bobby Elise in wrestlemania

>Caramels ass bumping against the camera Nice

Becky's outfit is ugly but she's looking good. She's looking slimmer too.

carmella has no ass

Might as well pair Becky and Wyatt. Eater of pins

>becky eats the pin Fuck this.

BEST GIRL WINS POTATOFAGS BTFO

Oh well at least I'll have fun jerking off to becky gifs from this match tomorrow.

Why can't I hold all these commercials?

Corey looks a little worked.

>>101999 Honest to god, I need more bludgeon brothers.

Rolled 2, 3, 2, 4, 5, 11 = 27 (6d20)

>>102001 >hiding his face

MALLOT MATES

>>102005 >Becky got buried again As it should be

>PPV Match ends in a DQ FUCK THIS COMPANY! <Crowd Boos muted by Dunn LOL!

https://twitter.com/TheRealVirgil/status/973010641685430272

>We're so shocke by what happened >The crowd loved it Lol >Let's bring up the [LOUD BOOING] <On a fucking SD PPV Are you fucking serious?!

I'll never understand the insane amount of investment to get the Samoan over. Years of money, time, and careers wasted for something that hasn't produced. You would think they would stop trying, but sweet Jesus, they keep going.

I'm very conflicted. On the one hand, Hammers. On the other, DQ in a PPV. Fuck Roman though.

>>102019 Probably some form of sunkcost fallacy at play in their mind. >also announcing the bludgeon brothers are being renamed the Hatecrime Herd

>>102021 The hammers could have been saved for the winning pin. This ppv just feels like a shitty sd episode like Elimination Chamber was a shitty Ram episode.

So what's left, just the main event or some other shit to waste time with?

>These women are so powerful! <Buried at the Royal Rumble <Pushed aside for Rhonda Roussey <Rhonda ads in a SD PPV Whatever, Steph.

>>102026 to be fair the Main Event is gonna be shit too.

We can't afford elaborate flair on Charltotte, so we have to give her simple robes.

Ruby deserves the win

>>102029 >>>/israel/

>>102029 Sir, this board has a strict 'No Pets Allowed' policy, and that includes your disgusting bird. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

>>102032 I posted Ruby, not Jewlexa. >>102033 SHE DESERVES IT clapclapclapclap clap >>102034 Then why are you here?

>>102029 I hated her in NXT, but I'll admit she's grown on me recently. She's much better as a heel and her look is much more manageable when she's a try hard tough girl. And holy shit, why does every chick match have to involve the whole roster?

>>102037 >Birdpersons go home

>>102038 >does every chick match have to involve the whole roster? Of course!

>>102037 Fuck off booleyfag.

That was a botch

>People call Charlotte flat but cream their trousers over Becky Yeah okay faggots

Whoever said Charlotte is a decent wrestler…is flat out wrong.

>>102037 >Then why are you here? Behold, the most biting retort the autistic mind can muster

This shitty match has been brought to you by Tapout Men's deodorant.

Nevermind.

>>102048 Of course, I can't hold a candle to the jewish mind.

JEWBY BTFO BOOLEYFAG BTFO

JEW BIRD BTFO >>102052 So you're saying you're dumber than your Jewish bird autism?

>>102055 Whoever said Charlotte matches are like Cena is pretty spot on.

Oh boy, the "exciting" wrestlemania match announcement.

>>102056 Listen you little smartass, Ruby is not jewish.

>>102060 >implying

Xavier wood has anal bleeding

Did they just add the "Go Cena, sucks Cena chant" in front of a crowd that didn't move their mouths?

>>102060 She's ugly as fuck regardless

>>102066 Not to me

SHANE MAKING IT A 8 PACK ATTACK

Dunn editing as usual

WINNER COMING THROUGH HE ACTUALLY SYNCHRONIZED HIS ENTRANCE TO THE MUSIC THIS TIME

END END END OF GAYS

>>102074 never again

>>102076 I didn't know Dobson was on 8Chan

>sami throws punches like the kid in a christmas story wew

>>102084 What did you expect from a soy numale like Sami?

Was, was that a botch?

I-if I take a bump, will they like my show better?

>>102090 >Will they like my PPV betetr? No they won't, Shane.

An okay match went to shit thanks to Shane and Cena.

Incoming Superman Mode

>count on top of stairs wtf

>Finisherfest to end it >Owens eats the pin (((HALF A DECADE)))

>>102099 The match wasn't even good. You can tell a match sucks when Dunn's adding "THIS IS AWESOME!" on a dead crowd.

>>102101 DREAM MATCH, maggle

>>102099 AJ didn't win with a fireman's carry though

>Can't help, but feel bad for Cena Lol what?!

>>102103 >Dream match >Already happened

Did AJ even do anything in the match? >>102108 And done on a better show years ago >>102107 Big Match Jhon is going to get into Wrestlemania anyway when Ram or SD happen, so this whole match would have been pointless.

>6 pack challenge: AJ retains >US: Orton Wins >Tag Team: DQ >Wymyn: Charlotte retains >pointless match 1: Nakamura >pointless match 2: Carmel >preshow: fashion files Did anybody get it right on their predictions?

Randy really looks and sounds like he's excited about this.

>>102110 There's no point in predicting any of these PPVs.

>>102112 Shut up NERD

>>102113 You can see who is gonna win miles away. What you should really predict is how will a PPV be worse than the last one.

>>102113 Fuck off Gallows you loser

>>102113 Shouldn't you be crying to Kenny to take you back?

>>102118 >Filming a screen

>>102118 > Xavier Fucking Dies Its "fuckign" dammit

Are you ready for the super good RAW tomorrow night and the even better Smackdown the following day?

bruh look at this dood

>>102117 He should be begging to Tama and Fale all things considered

So Asuka jumping to Smackdown means she is leaving AwwSka in the MMC? Team Little Big 144% chance of winnin' now.

>>102110 Mine were totally accurate. I didn't even watch the show because I couldn't give less of a shit. >>101120 >>101129

>>102088 Ziggler could sell dildos to a convent.