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King of Shitposting

WWE Comic Book Boliever 04/27/2017 (Thu) 06:52:49 Id: ad15ea No. 58119
We're back with issue #4, which is really #5 but welcome to comic books. The hack/crash/whatever killed the old thread so here's a fresh one. To recap, this is the story of Seth Rollins turning heel, getting the title, hurting his knee with a dozen montages an issue while Hunter got more and more annoyed at Seth for not doing what he said and being weak. Last issue New Day broke into Seth's apartment and gave him a bunch of VHS tapes while stealing his food, inspiring Seth to new heights as everything gets sillier and sillier.
Seth just wrecking some mark's bike, this is fine.
SETH CAN SUMMON A TIDAL WAVE FROM A BROKEN TAP, THIS IS FINE. Also AJ's face holy shit.
I said things were getting sillier.
BIG DOG STANDING TALL, also looking very smug for some reason while Seth continues to make silly faces.
Still using that Pedigree, Seth. And we have a Bray Wyatt extra this time, which just seems to be a normal Bray promo so I don't know why they bothered.
>>58121 >Disqualified It was EXTREME RULES and the main event was an EXTREME RULES match, anything goes, so no DQ. Fucking hack writer. >I owe you one Neat one there
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What the… I mean, what the fuck did I just read?
>>58123 >"Is that Triple H?" >cute female fan with HHH across her tits Haitch had to be involved in this
Why even produce this shit when you could just put more effort into your shitty tv storylines and video packages? If people dont get enough info from watching the TV youre doing something wrong. Hire better writers, Vince.
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>>58148 >Why even produce this shit >Cute female fan with HHH across her tits
>>58150 >implying that's not haitch in drag
>>58119 The Undertaker comics were better.
>>58148 Because it's free money. BOOM would be paying WWE for this, not the other way around. It's a dying industry and they want all the eyes they can get. Looking at the sales numbers, first issue did 20k and second did only 10k, so not the best retention rate. On a side note the best selling comic in February was a Darth Maul one at 105k. This is how fucked comics are.
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>>58121 He looks like a total puff in this one
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Yaranaika?
>>58180 The gay community loves Nakamura.
>>58119 >This comic
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We're back with issue #5 and a new focus because Seth is just too boring I guess. Lets talk about a car for an issue instead.
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This comic really captures the spirit of WWE booking where everyone's an unlikable arsehole.
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Ha ha what a lunatic am I right?
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And here we're supposed to feel sympathy. This really is being ghost written by WWE Creative.
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Well that was pointless. Also the return of the New Day story, for some reason. I have no idea what's happening in it.

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Issue #6 with more Dean ans Sasha. In this issue life lessons are learned, so they can be later unlearned when they get repackaged. Now recompressed a bit because the original is over 100Mb for some stupid reason.
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Renee getting buried as Sasha says OMG constantly. Hooray for comics.
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Sasha has the perfect combat mind, given enough troops she could defeat ISIS.
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Reminder that police do not exist in wrestling land unless it's part of an angle.
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So there we have it, it turns out Sasha is the perfect being afterall. Also if you want to be scary, get a little anchor tattooed onto your finger.
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So there we have it, it turns out Sasha is the perfect being afterall. Also if you want to be scary, get a little anchor tattooed onto your finger. New Day backup has vanished again, this time for Cena to be incredibly boring.
>>66077 what? why was there a pinfall victory when Dean was doing a submission?
>>62525 >the new gay are members of the pic related community
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>>66075 How the heck is this a pin? There's being a hack and then being completely incompetent. This comic became super worse with these Dean/Sasha issues, I mean the Rollins ones were bad but there was something about it. >>66081 >>66080 I don't get this jhon comic at all. Gets hit with the styles clash, the ref counts to 10 for some reason, then Cena just pops back up ready to fight with a smile.
>>66088 >>66138 Hopeless is terrible but so is WWE booking, so who to blame is a mystery. And yeah, Rollins at least had silly faces and seemed to be developing super powers amidst other stupidity. This on the other hand has no redeeming qualities.
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>>62522 >One job
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>>66138 >How the heck is this a pin? guess the artist took lessons from Cameron
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We're back with #7, time for Wyatts to be weird and Sasha to be annoying.
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You'll note that Bray will be taking over Seth's old job of making the best faces.
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Continuity error with Braun's hair along with making him a geek, perfect.
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Bray channeling Rape Horse.
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Suddenly, Mad Max. Also how long did Dean take playing with his toys instead of rescuing Sasha? The extra is Jake the Snake this month, and kinda neat as these things go.
>>70465 >As expected, literally no reference to HOKE HOGAN, not even an expy >Instead they used the Undertaker, a guy who was barely active when Jake Roberts was, and a guy he lost to in real life >Continued modern aversion of using the perfectly-legal WWF block logo, instead opting for a completely anachronistic modern-day golden variant of the current "razor" (as I like to call it) WWE logo >Ending it with one of the very first fights of his career against Steamboat's mid-80s Dragon gimmick, even though in the comic he'd supposedly already taken on Undie and Randy Savage with the "Macho King" gimmick, shit which didn't happen until 1990 or so
>>70576 The writer is casual, what can you expect.
And now for something completely different. It's Summerslam time so we have a collection of stories relating to Summerslam, in theory.
Heel Savage is having fun
Hey Dusty said to remember him for the polka dots right?
And a happy ending! Or not, he lost.
Moving on, here's the 'Taker/Mankind feud from way back.
Bearer had the best facials.
SWERVE
>They will never accept him like they did you Hah
Oh hey it's that New Day story again. No one could possibly care about this anymore.
The Bushwhackers! Because why not.
Good idea, draw the Demon King like he's a demon Bad idea, have him open his actual mouth while on the fucking ceiling to dribble on Seth
And then Seth put him out of action for 6 months, the end. Really the end, that's the whole thing.
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And we're back to the normal shit with issue #8. The Mad Max chase commences.
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Yeah sure Charlotte turns up too, why not.
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The way Sasha bumps she should be dead here. This comic is no longer believable.
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Holy christ, get the shovel boys, we've got a hole to dig. On a side note this is a constant mistake writers make with child-like characters, they think it means childish and they're always wrong.
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That's not a good explanation as to why you climb so slowly Dean.
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Jesus christ. Well at least the backup is 'Taker and Bearer.
>>75528 >Next month The Roman Empire Oh swell. Can't be worse than wacky dean and SJW Sasha. I'm actually intrigued at how a 3rd party writer might write Roman compared to the WWE.
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>>75529 Well it's here and god damn you were right to be intrigued. Issue #9 everybody, after the hell of Dean and Sasha, this makes it worthwhile.
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[LOUD BOOING] And I'm sorry Roman your mother's a mark.
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BOOED AS A CHILD BY HIS UNCLE
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This is the best and worst fanfic of all time.
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DEFEATED BY BOOS
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HEEL ROMAN This reminds me of when Damian Wayne, Batman's son and 4th Robin was introduced. An obnoxious shit who was perfect at everything and treated as the second coming of christ by everyone around him. He was hated by everyone except Grant Morrison who wrote him. Once free of his pen though, Damian was written and treated as the horrible little shit he is and the character suddenly became tolerable. Take Roman away from Vince and suddenly he becomes this amazing manchild. Also a Goldust backup that no one could possibly care about after this.
>>79191 >And the crowd goes… BOOOOOOOOOO Neat that they actually allowed this rather than pretend its 50/50 chants like Cena. Even acknowledged Seth being cheered over Reigns. >>79196 This guy is the same person that made hacky mistakes in previous issues and wrote the terrible Dean/Sasha comics but he managed to make Reigns more compelling than Vince ever did. Feels like I learnt more about Reigns' character in this issue than 5 years of him on the main roster. I'm actually eagerly anticipating the next issue.
>>79198 Roman has no character on the main roster, so naturally Joe's real life story is more interesting..
Pretty cool comics if you ask me.
>>79198 To add. The main reason why he managed to write up such a story is by accepting one simple fact: Roman gets booed and is hated by the crowd. Just by acknowledging the simple fact, he created a whole story for Reigns. It's so simple yet it seems that Vince is too damn stubborn to use the boos in Roman's favor. I think that is why webm related is my favourite Reigns moment. For once, he directly speaks to the people jeering him and deals with it accordingly.
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>>79191 For every RAW episode
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We're back with issue #10 and oh my god that cover. In this issue Roman acts like a petulant child and spouts nonsense. That's about it really. After the dizzying highs of last issue it's kind of a let down but that's WWE for you.
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Usos no! He's already violated the Wellness Policy.
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This comic does love flashbacks and montages
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Remember he's not a good guy or a bad guy, he's a brat.
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Good job BREAKing Stonehenge dipshits.
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And the backup, with some much needed Becky love.
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>>82356 >Copying TDKR's icon cover for Roman >Roman being a total hotheaded asshole Kinda true to how he was in 2016 actually. >Kids love him despite everybody loudly booing him in the previous issue >Roman is indefinitely suspended by HHH, not because he BROKE the wellness policy like how it actually happened It's like WWE saw how this guy wrote Roman as someone with flaws in the previous issue and got WWE creative themselves to shadow write this new issue.
>>82361 that was perfect. Becky really is the most underappreciated wrestler currently in WWE
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>>82364 >the most underappreciated wrestler currently in WWE
>>82365 that's what I said. don't wear it out.
>>82361 >becky will never bear hug you Why even live
>>82367 because there's a very slim chance it might happen at some point
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Issue #11 with more Big DAROOOAROOROORORO We begin with Roman being pissy, so nothing new.
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SCOWL OFF! And god dammit John, kayfabe!
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Cena and his fighting autism
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This got weird. And yes, this is what real fight looks like. People doing their moves.
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Hunter got a fighting boner too so Roman is unsuspended, hooray! Another exciting issue of Roman being moody and accomplishing very little. Though I do kinda wanna see an issue or two of John Cena waxing lyrical about how great it is to drop guys on their heads, that'd be fun. Moo.
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>>87015 Meh this week's was just boring, not as fun as the first issue, but not as bad as the 2nd one, but not really good either way. >>87016 >Cena's face in these panels Whoever was drawing wasn't even trying, the ones proceeding this had his face drawn better. >>87018 >>87019 This all was just weird. I think it's some movie cliche, where the hotheaded protagonist just has to fight out with his wise elder who talks in riddles to help the protagonist overcome his anger. It was done so generically, what a bore. Also they were no selling everything, including their finishers, that sure riled me up. >>87020 >Orton vs Rowan That was just random.
>>87021 It feels like Hopeless has a set number of issues to tell a story that should of taken two. The first Roman issue was a brilliant backstory of the universe cosmically booing one man. The next two have been some of the worst examples of decompressed story telling in modern comics. Nothing fucking happens. I remember Warren Ellis saying that a single issue of a comic needs six story beats to keep a decent pace. This has three, Cena notices Roman's a dumb shit (a repeat of last issue where he at least BROKE Stonehenge), Cena talks to/fights Roman, Roman is unsuspended.
>>87016 >>87018 >>87019 >Cena with a plain red t shirt
>>87046 Like the artist was going to put in effort for this script.
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Good news! This is the blow off issue! Bad news! It's the same old shit! Just like WWE. Terrible inner monologues and flashbacks for all. Even the artist couldn't be bothered to do the whole issue.
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I do like them driving around in their gear.
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Dean thinks wins and losses matter in WWE. He really is a lunatic.
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Oh look, we're coming full circle. What an amazing writer.
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Next issue? What? No this is supposed to it. Why? WHY In all honesty I'm curious to see where this goes now, free of this boring shit.
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Oh and here's the Kane backup, which seems to be about a decade out of date.
Meh this issue is not even worth a comment
>>90796 >BIG RED MONSTER Did they forget this was an official product and not a knock-off in another promo?
Well something interesting and outside the norm has appeared, a Royal Rumble comic with 4 different stories. I say interesting because look at that credits page, AJ Styles is writing himself in the main event. This will be important. But we need to begin with Ric Flair as written by WWE Creative.
Where are the women? Where are the Rolexes? Why the fuck are they burying southern wrestling? These are rhetorical, we know the answer.
God I hate WWE
Time for New Day, where we're going over Kofi's Rumble gimmick.
You either like New Day or you're sick of them, not much more to say. This was fine.
Our third tale… madness
JAKE NO Warrior huffing is a nice touch
This one was actually a lot of fun.
Time for the main event. Already we're burying how WWE treats people's pasts.
Cena acting like an egotistical lunatic while being drawn as ugly as possible. We even get some good brothering. That's it, greatly varied quality but ultimately worthwhile.
>>92722 >>92723 Now we just wait for "The Gay Community" reaction image edits.
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>>92725 level 99 paint skills within 3 minute
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>>92725 Oh fuck it, even if im awful in this i will still have my fun!
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>>92755 f o l l o w t h e b a n n e r s
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>>92759 I can't do it, dude! On that size the text too small, plus if i downgrade the quality to fit in the banner file size then the pic goes all-fucked-up. It1s like Roman Reigns himself… you can't force it to work. Sorry…
>>92767 f o l l o w t h e r o t a t i o n if you seek it it will come
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And now issue #13 of the main book, the RAM 25th anniversary special. It's kinda shit and has little to do with RAM for the most part, but we're doing it anyway. Note once again the credits where Samoa Joe is writing himself.
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This isn't as exciting as AJ's was but we do get one piece of insight from it. They know to stay in NXT as long as possible.
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Here's the Daniel Bryan story. It makes you question why people would ever pay for this comic.
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It's like I'm really watching the match!
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Oh, missed a page. Luckily it doesn't matter.
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This one is actually kinda fun. The…. art, even adds to it.
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And the sad ending. How appropriate for this comic book.


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