I'll just link my chainwriting from the main thread for now. >>46 >>47 >>48 >>49 >>50 >>148 >>149 >>150 >>220 >>221 >>300 >>301 >>302

A speculative build for later in my chain. XXXX: Machina - Nanomachine Hazard; Origin: Drop-In Age/Sex: 25/Male General Perks[-400]: Machina Mutation(-300), The Power of Horny(-100) Origin Perks[-100]: Wetworking Networking, Using Soft To Get Hard(-100) Items[-500]: Machinium Ingot, Personal Ship(-200), Machina Outbreak(-300) Total: 1000-1000

>>315 Jump 10: Ranma 1/2 Age: 17/Gender: Female/Origin: Drop-In/Curse: Spring of Drowned Asura Perks: Amazon Durability/Martial Acrobatics/Hidden Weapon Space/Medical Genius/Pressure Points And Moxibustion/Copycat Technique (-1300 CP) ITems: Flask Of Water Of Life/Mushroom Of Time Spores (-300 CP) Drawbacks: Plague Of Fanfiction/Mind Altering Curse (Kitsune) (+600 CP) This world may have looked like a mundane world on the surface, but there were certain things hidden below that Tessa was very, VERY eager to take advantage of. She was absolutely letting out all her deviousness, all her desire to corrupt and /break/ a plaything. And her target this time? One Saotome Ranma. But first, some necessary setup. Managing her Jusenkyo curse was actually quite trivial for Tessa; she couldn't remove it due to drawback fiat, but she COULD cast a simple semi-permanent Charm on herself to ensure that any liquids that came in contact with her were always just slightly above the temperature that would trigger her curse. For an extra security measure she also underwent a fun little mind-cursing procedure; she intentionally transformed into her cursed form and had preset charms and jinxes strike her in that state, forcibly rewriting her cursed form's personality to perfectly align with her own. The Kitsune form had no Occlumency barriers like she did, so it was quite easy...but it wasn't permanent, the mental rewrite fading away with each transformation. To ensure it was regularly refreshed, she simply wore a locket that would forcibly reapply the mind-adjusting curse whenever she transformed. That sorted that. The next important thing to do: get a base of operations. She could just operate out of any old door and use her Warehouse and Farm to manage everything, but...frankly she could do better, and held herself to somewhat of a higher standard. It was trivial for Tessa to conjure up an entire house, Confundus and memory-charm the right people, and insert herself into the Nerima ward wholesale without any hints that she hadn't always been there. Magic truly was convenient like that, especially when one was as skilled in it as she was. The final preparatory step was to attract her prey; this was a tiny bit more tricky, but a few dozen Shadow Clones transformed into a wide variety of civilian forms to spread rumors about her shop and the mystical services she offerred would do quite nicely. She advertised herself as Mystes The Mystic, purveyor of fortunes and mistress of magic, and her little shop's premise was simple: she could cast blessings and curses on her clients for a fee, essentially granting their wishes. She also sold a wide variety of potions, transformatives, and shady drugs as "health supplements". With all her setup done and a touch of Djinni magic to push her luck in the right direction, it was only a matter of time before Ranma heard about her little shop and decided that this was a potential cure for his curse. Tessa was, of course, happy to offer her help...but admitted that the Jusenkyo curse was beyond her capacity to cure all at once. She would have to adjust and change it, little by little, over the course of months before it could be cured...so she told Ranma. Each adjustment would require a month or two to settle before she could adjust it again and progress towards removing it. Nevertheless, Ranma agreed to such a procedure since it was the best bet that he had for curing his curse. The first adjustment Tessa made to Ranma's curse was to "disconnect" his Male and Female sides; normally everything transferred between them automatically, from training results to wounds. Tessa adjusted that, making it so things DIDN'T transfer between the two. Should Ranma be hurt in male form, they could transform into their female form and be wound-free. Normally this would mean Ranma would have to train twice as hard just to maintain parity between the two forms, but Tessa offerred a blessing to Ranma in return-a "beneficial transference" which let Ranma CHOOSE what transferred between their two forms. Ranma could, for instance, transfer all their training results from one form to the other WITHOUT sharing wounds or exhaustion. Even this alone was a pretty crazy blessing and adjustment to the Jusenkyo curse...and then the bill rang due, quite literally. Ranma didn't have enough money to pay for Tessa's services. Tessa was understanding of Ranma's plight, and cut them a deal: she wouldn't revoke the changes to their curse, but in return she'd want some "insurance" to guarantee that Ranma would work towards paying them for their service. Said insurance came in the form of a curse, marked by a magatama on the back of Ranma's hand. The curse was a surprisingly complex Curse of Debt, which would metaphysically mark Ranma as being in Tessa's debt and make sure Ranma always remembered that there was, in fact, a debt. Tessa didn't really explain what it would do to Ranma beyond ensuring they would remember their debt, and warning them that unpaid debts would take their toll... What Ranma didn't know was that the Curse of Debt was, in fact, a luck curse. It would take tiny sips of Ranma's luck over time, enough that there wouldn't be any noticeable change...normally. When Ranma was in male form his luck would be slightly worse than normal, while female form would be somewhat luckier than normal. People who interacted with Ranma would also have their luck "nibbled" on-just a little bit at a time, but more if they tried to keep Ranma male or were hostile to her. The stolen and stored luck would be expended to make Ranma-chan luckier than normal, and especially so when it came to food, leading to her generally having a more charmed life and finding lots of lucky opportunities to eat sweets or the like. It would also invest a bit of luck towards making her more beautiful over time-giving her a "lucky" growth spurt, "luckily" keeping her skin clean and smooth, and the like. The curse didn't have much power given it was based on Ranma's debt, and if she ever paid back that debt it would go away entirely...but that's where Tessa's nastiest trick came in. The more money Ranma accumulated, the stronger the curse's luck consumption would become-specifically focuxing itself on the currency that Ranma had to make her lose it somehow. This would also intensify all the other effects of the Curse of course, making it so that when Ranma had a lot of money she'd live the high life and have food all but thrown at her-eating up all her money and leaving her still cursed and in debt. Over the course of the next month Ranma found that her life had taken a turn for the somewhat odd-even beyond the usual chaos of Nerima. Being able to separate the conditions of both male and female bodies meant ths could get even more training in if she was clever, but she found herself often just getting to relax and have fun in her female form rather than do any intense training or the like. She did try to weasel her way out of Tessa's debt curse at one point via the Amazons, but not even Cologne could so much as budge Tessa's magic. So it was that Ranma found herself entering Tessa's shop next month, penniless yet still asking that Tessa go through with the next phase of removing the Jusenkyo curse. Tessa put on a show of being frustrated with Ranma, but was all to happy to "help". The next step in removing Ranma's Jusenkyo Curse would be to remove the water-trigger entirely; in its place Tessa left a simple timer and will trigger; Ranma could spend up to 24 non consecutive hours in Male form before they'd be forced to swap to female form for at least 24 hours. Sticking in female form had no limit, as that was what the Jusenkyo curse wanted. Ranma could also freely swap between male and female at will, minding the twenty-four hour limit of his male form. He could only "store" up to 24 hours of male-form time at a time, and only being awake in female form would cause that timer to go up-no sleeping away the day in female form so he could spend more time male. Conversely ANY time spent in male-form would drain the male-form timer, making it a somewhat lopsided deal. Ranma complained that this made the curse stronger after a fashion, but Tessa countered that this was akin to the curse's last hurrah; make it through a couple of months of this, and Tessa could fix things up. Then there was the matter of Ranma's increased debt. Tessa added a second magatama to the back of Ranma's hand, marking her increased debt and adding another curse atop the previous one. Not only would the Curse of Debt grow stronger thanks to the second magatama, but Ranma would also now have to contend with a Curse of Growing Decadence. Ranma would always be at least a little hungry, food would be twice as tasty, and the sensation of fullness would translate to sexual pleasure-though these effects only activated in female form. Tessa considered adding more to the curse...but frankly she didn't need to. This much, combined with the pre-existing Curse of Debt, would be more than enough to shape Ranma as she desired. Despite her immensely active lifestyle and constant battles, Ranma found herself slowly but steadily putting on weight. More concerning than the growing weight was the fact that she found herself actively enjoying the experience; her desire to be the best Martial Artist was warring against a growing weight gain fetish that the two curses imprinted onto her were cultivating, and the longer it went on the more her desires were winning. After a month or so Ranma decided that she needed to do something about this. It would still be a month longer before she could get her curse adjusted once again, but she returned to Tessa's shop and challenged her to a martial arts battle to remove the debt curses. Tessa warned Ranma that if she lost she'd gain yet another curse mark, but Ranma pushed her challenge through regardless. In the end, Tessa accepted...and proceeded to defeat Ranma near effortlessly. (1/2)

>>369 Tessa's overwhelming Nen which she had never stopped practicing, her Chakra, and her sheer overwhelming might ensured that Ranma simply couldn't defeat her. Tessa didn't even need to use any particular martial arts techniques-though she had been carefully studying the myriad battles throughout Nerima to learn martial arts herself and develop her abilities. Ranma simply couldn't even hope to match Tessa. As a consolation Tessa gave Ranma something pro-bono: a method for generating Chakra from Ki, and the Calorie Control Jutsu. That didn't stop Tessa from marking Ranma with a third magatama though, and warning her that if Ranma couldn't pay back her debts soon she'd essentially belong to Tessa. The third curse that Tessa imprinted onto Ranma was a curse of Decadent Dreams, which would whisper things into Ranma's subconscious mind while she was sleeping. It would slowly stoke that burgeoning weight gain fetish, implant budding fascination and lust for Tessa into her subconscious, slowly adjust Ranma's gender identity to view herself as more woman than man, and so on. It was a complex and insidious thing, and while its effects would start out nearly unnoticeable they'd slowly but steadily build up over time. Pushing past her defeat, Ranma studied the Chakra Cultivation and Calorie Control techniques that Tessa had gifted her. It took her just a week to figure out how to cultivate Chakra within herself, then two more to master the Calorie Control technique-and with it, her out of control weight suddenly evaporated into burning power that she could wield to her heart's content. An ever growing part of Ranma didn't want to just burn away the weight for power, but she still had self-control enough to recognize that she needed to get a grip on herself and her life before she could indulge her newfound desires. With her weight more firmly under control, Ranma did something clever for the very first time in her life. She put together a plan so that she would actually be able to pay back her debts to Tessa...and it relied on simply asking for help. With the help of others and by harnessing her truly strange luck with food, Ranma was able to put together the funds needed to pay off her debts-and NOT hold onto them herself so that her own terrible luck with money wouldn't end up frittering it all away. By the time of her next check-in, not only did Ranma have the funds needed to pay for the next phase of the Jusenkyo curse removal, but she also had what she needed to pay off her previous debts. With a smile Tessa was more than happy to remove her magatama marks, and Ranma felt herself freed from the curses that Tessa had inflicted on her-AND this consultation had removed the "curse timer" aspect of her curse, letting her swap from Male to Female at will without any cost or timer! At this point the Jusenkyo curse was almost entirely cured, but it'd still be a good half-year for it to settle before Tessa could remove it completely...but even then, it was basically cured and Ranma could freely spend all her time as male if she wanted to. Except...Ranma didn't want to. She'd grown used to her curse, grown to actually like it-love it even, though she couldn't admit that to herself. Though she publicly exalted in having removed her debt curses, she found herself feeling empty and rather depressed after just a week without them. Food was like ash, phantom hunger constantly prickled at her, her desires were still out of control yet there were essentially no opportunities to indulge them. This wasn't a curse that Tessa had cast. This was simply the fact that Ranma had grown used to those pleasurable curses and was now regretting that they were gone. After just a month of living without those curses Ranma snuck back to Tessa's shop and quietly pleaded that she put the curses back. Tessa was only too happy to oblidge...but they wouldn't be curses if she wanted them, now would they? So Tessa would have to charge Ranma a rather hefty sum to place such "blessings" on her. Ranma, desperate for the pleasurable lifestyle she had been enjoying before, agreed to any price. The price Tessa demanded...was Ranma. All the previous curses that Tessa had placed upon Ranma were reworked and restored into a womb tattoo placed upon her, which Tessa called the Bounty's Blessing. The Bounty's Blessing would grant immense luck in very specific endeavors, sipping unnoticeable amounts of luck from everyone around and ravenously consuming the luck of those who were hostile to Ranma, all to ensure that Ranma constantly found opportunities to pig out and enjoy herself. She would blossom with womanly beauty, fullness would translate to sexual pleasure, foods would taste amazing, her dreams would be filled with pleasures and decadence that slowly whispered into her subconscious mind, she would always have room for more food, and at the very heart of this blessing was a core of pure Nen-a special technique that Tessa had designed just for Ranma. That core of pure Nen would grant Ranma a "combat state" that she could shift to at will, letting her return to full fighting fitness while preserving her weight so that she could enjoy herself freely AND be perfectly functional in a fight. In return for such a blessing, Ranma swore an Unbreakable Vow to Tessa that she would be her wife-willingly engaging herself to Tessa "till death do us part". Tessa would later end up noting that it was in her FEMALE form that Ranma swore such a vow, so it would now be impossible to truly remove the Jusenkyo curse without dying...but Ranma was actually okay with that. She found that she truly did prefer being female, in the end. And she GREATLY enjoyed the lifestyle that Tessa had led her down. Many shenanigans still followed from there and Ranma grew into becoming one of the greatest martial artists of the era, but in the end she would join Tessa on her journey through the multiverse-fat, happy, and almost entirely forgetting that she was even capable of shifting to male form.

>>371 Jump 11: Free Cities The World: Condition-Very Serious/Deterioration-A Visible Decline/Complicity-Struggled In Vain/Extreme Content-Free Choice/Gender Views-Free Choice/Age Views-Free Choice (+400 CP) You: Sex-Feminine/Age-18/Body-Bodymod/History-Surgery/Acquisition-Social Engineering (+100 CP) Perks: Surgeon/Public Health/Neo-Pharmaceuticals (-300 CP) Items: Mementos/Credits x2/Preferred Refreshments (Cake)/A Nice Suit/Corporation (-200 CP) Arcology: Type-Oceanic/Barracks (All Upgrades)/Dairy (Cowpregs)/Farmyard (Farmtech)/Weapons Manufacturing (All Upgrades)/Arena (Upgraded)/Corporate Market/Transport Hub (All Upgrades)/Future Society Shops x3/Infrastructure/Propaganda Hub/Riot Control Center/Security Drones/Security HQ Upgraded/Weather Cladding Upgraded (-800 CP) Penthouse: Personal Assistant Upgraded/Master Suite/Office/Dormitory/Auto Salon/Wardrobe/Remote Surgery Upgraded/Pregnancy Monitoring Systems/Kitchen Upgraded/Spa/Clinic/Pharmaceutical Fabricator Maximized (-900 CP) Future Societies: Repopulation Efforts/Body Purism/Asset Expansionism/Slave Pastoralism/Hedonistic Decadence (-600 CP) Drawbacks: Rebellious/Old World Blues/The Laughing Man/The Rival/Nickles And Dimes/No Respect (+1300 CP) Tessa is the ruler of The Mysterium, her own arcology which she shaped to her own design and will. It was a beautiful, wonderful paradise of bulging beauties, flowing milk, and endless decadence...and Tessa ruled over it all. Oh, some others tried to own bits and pieces of it-but just a little bit of mental magic here and there was enough to get them to give up their claims, allowing her to own 100% of her own arcology nearly effortlessly. Her lovers, slaves, and wives all moved into the arcology and were treated as royalty who existed almost entirely for Tessa's pleasure. Every day was a new pleasure in the paradise that was the Mysterium, and Tessa wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, there were still occasional issues that Tessa had to deal with. Tessa's control over the Mysterium may have been absolute, but she could not as easily command the minds and hearts of its people-so she put forth grand propaganda projects and used a little bit of mind-controlling magic, forcibly controlling the views and respect of the people. There were many who feared and attacked her arcology regularly, so Tessa crafted armies of golems and Nen-beasts to crush them. She once played silly games with a hacker girl who was a bit too clever for her own good, enslaved her, and made her into another of her toys. She fought against a rival arcology who stood against quite literally everything that Tessa stood for, went to war, conquered it, and slowly broke her rival until she sang for the beauty of decadence. It was madness and indulgence at its finest, bound by nothing but Tessa's will. It was a world shaped by her desires where her whims were law and she held monopoly on both force and magic. She was not just a ruler, but akin to a goddess. Her wives and slaves did manage to reel in her worst impulses, but still Tessa ruled over the Mysterium and shaped it into a monument to decadence, to indulgence, to grand growth and infinite pleasure. Food flowed freely, magic and technology mixing together to create endless resources. Milk flowed freely, coaxed from the bosom of countless cowgirl-slaves. Life was eternal, farms of age-reducing mushrooms and hyperadvanced medical centers ensuring that her citizens would never fade but instead grow and love endlessly. Tessa spent ten years in this ruined world, enjoying a paradise that shone above all. It didn't matter how terrible the weather, how grand the armies and monsters that attacked her domain, how lean the rest of the world grew. She could conjure forth endless resources and did so quite freely; she could empower her arcology to be endlessly strong; she could command the very skies with the right rituals. Finally, ten years after it rose, the Mysterium disappeared-the entire arcology shifting with Tessa off to a new world.

>>832 Jump 12: Super Fatty RPG Location: Liminal Space/Origin: Spirit Perks/Full Time Cow/Vore/Comfort In Mobility/Gastronomic Combat/Staging/Ectoplasm Farming/Training Perks?/Convincing Offer/Pharmacist/Spatial Resistance/Production/Spatial Twisting/Swelling Success/Dead Air (-1800 CP) Items: Universal Housing/Transport&Hint Phone/F-ATM/Milking Machine/Two Left Shoes/Gum-Gun/Reduction Bracelets/Casino/Connection To Limbo (-200 CP) Drawbacks: Continuity Toggle/Extended Stay x3/Setting Amnesia/No Reformation (+1000 CP) Scenarios: Henrietta's Quest/Boogie With It (Oppose Boogie)/DECIDE (Defeat Boss, Save Limbo) Tessa entered this world without a clear idea of what was going on here, but would swiftly figure out how things worked here. Funnily enough her own fetish became a source of power for her-as she was altogether too willing to stuff herself silly, gain loads of weight, then go train it off to grow stronger. She was also more than willing to go along with strange and silly shenanigans to fatten up the residents of this realm for nothing more than her own personal satsifaction. The one rather common event that Tessa didn't really get into herself was vore; frankly she just didn't really enjoy that fetish. Ironically enough she WAS into cooking and eating people, but only after fattening them up and even then she didn't particularly enjoy the idea of eating people whole. She could do it, and do it quite well at that, but she just wasn't particularly into it. Tessa was more than happy to run around fulfilling Henrietta's errands, especially because it led to a much fatter-and thus sexier-Limbo, and was also more than happy to invite Henrietta into her own personal harem afterwards. She was less enthused about working with whoever "the boss" was, and generally just sorta put off working for them for a good long while-instead exploring the multitudes of mysteries and secrets that were a part of Limbo. She gathered up mysterious pages, bought all sorts of random knicknacks, got into all sorts of shenanigans, and even fought off the avatar of a multiversal god going by the name of Boogie. Kinda a wimp as far as multiversal gods went, mind you, but still something rather impressive. She got fat, and exercised it off, over and over and over again-to the point of absurdity. And then The Boss lost his patience and decided to try and eat Limbo whole, regardless of Tessa's cooperation or the lack of pages. Tessa, empowered by the legacies of multiple worlds and the effort of her training, was more than capable of fighting him off and striking him down. She also saw that it might've been possible for her to do the same as him-to take Limbo, consume it all, and become a titanic goddess...but again, she simply had no desire for that. She didn't like eating people, and that was literally all the logic she needed to avoid that path. Instead she simply continued to live in Limbo, fattening up the populace through her own shenanigans and enjoying herself. While she was at it she also went ahead and began upgrading her arcology; she set up a wide variety of Ectoplasm-cultivating and refining infrastructure that let her produce just about anything she wanted from nothing. She used spatial warping and Wildspace to increase her Arcology's size internally while it remained the same size externally, and refined her arcology's infrastructure via wildspace to massively improve logistics. With these adjustments the Mysterium was now able to produce resources ex nihilo without Tessa's active involvement AND had massively greater room to expand its population-which was a good thing given her focus on Repopulation. Her arcology's population exploded and exploded again, growing and swelling endlessly-yet there was always more space for them to grow into, more apartments, more shops, more work, more farms, more, more, MORE. It was a beautiful thing, watching her arcology grow into its own, and Tessa was more than happy to enjoy the fruits of her labor. She indulged in said fruits as well, more than happy to gain weight alongside her own girls, get pregnant, pump out babies, make milk, and do it all over again. Everything from F-ATMs to Reduction Bracelets to simply utilizing her fat and curves to empower herself in various ways ensured that she could enjoy her weight when she wanted it, and simply put it away when she was done and continue on her merry way. And after a good forty years in this strange world, that's what she did-moving on to the next world, seeking ever greater delights.

>>833 Jump 13: Soul Eater Location: Village of Shin/Age: 15/Gender: Female/Origin: Student Meister/Race: Human Perks: The Face/Enrolled/Madness Wavelength (Gluttony)/Weapon Partner Proficiency/Wavelength Communication/Rebel Yale/Soul Perception/Utility Meister/Soul Menace/I Will Surpass God/Anti-Demon Wavelength/Bunshin/War God (-1700 CP) Companion: Demon Weapon Partner (Ranma)/The Face/Enrolled/Backseat Driver/Better To Ask Forgiveness/Energy Amplification/It's A Texture Thing/Partial Weapon Manifestation/Enhanced "Mundane" Weapon Form (Massive Gauntlet)/Soul Room/Pulling Potential/Death Dealer Items: Comfortable Welcoming Gift/Shrine to Madness (Arcology)/Sick Wheels/Soul Sapping Water (-300 CP) Drawbacks: Think Of The Children/Slapstick/I Am God/Obsession (Fattening Girls)/Fairy/March Of The Clowns (+1000 CP) Tessa is a little fairy with a massive ego and massive ambitions, out to make the world a fatter and more beautiful place. Ranma also decided to join her on this latest adventure, gaining a little bit of new power alongside with getting the chance to explore a new world. Of course-it couldn't be said that Tessa was a force of good in this world. She was a force of Madness in and of herself-a Madness of Gluttony, which pushed those near her towards greater depths of gluttony. This very Madness seeped into the very foundations of the Mysterium, infusing the entire Arcology with her Madness and making the entire structure all the stranger and more Mad for it...but it wasn't bad, in and of itself. It was a benign sort of Madness, a Madness that encouraged decadence and weight gain, but did not actually drive one to violence, insanity, or psychosis. Tessa was not a force of good, but she wasn't a force of evil either. They were members of the DWMA, so Tessa normally kept her Madness Wavelength well restrained-an effort made easier by the fact that she ALSO possessed a unique Anti-Demon Wavelength that was antithetical to Madness. That Anti-Demon Wavelength turned out to be fairly important, as Tessa was ALSO frequently attacked by Clowns for some odd reason. Not mortal clowns, but the living incarnations of Madness that required truly special efforts to actually kill in any way that mattered...such as an Anti-Demon Wavelength. Even then they were terrifyingly powerful opponents, threats that could very easily spell the doom of all but the finest of Shibusen's students. That didn't matter to Tessa though; she was powerful, a mage and warrior from across more than a dozen worlds who had mastered arts that could rend planets asunder. With Ranma's help pulling out her full potential in spite of her Fairy body along with her Anti-Demon Wavelength, the two of them were able to fairly routinely slay the Clowns and collect their Kishin Souls. So routinely, in fact, that they were generally able to harvest a Kishin Soul a week from Clowns alone. That said, being forced to fight extremely hard against enemies that should be far, FAR below her spurred Tessa on to train like a madwoman and push herself to become far stronger in a way that, frankly, she'd never done before. Tessa wasn't really someone who normally sought power. Even in the likes of the world of Naruto she trained mostly just to gain specific abilities or refine techniques that she could use to fulfill her desires, not for the sake of power itself. Power came to her as a consequence of her lifestyle more than anything, a byproduct of the fact that she was a worldhopper who had seen so much and gained so many incredible abilities. It was frankly disturbing to Ranma just how terrifying her partner and wife could be when she finally focused herself and began to train seriously for what may have been the very first time in her life. A funny thing to note: Tessa was a fairy in this world. It's been said multiple times, but fairies are...tiny. Most fairies could fit in the palm of a normal person's hand. Tessa ALSO had a jar of soul sapping water, more than large enough for a person to submerge their hand and most of their arm in it all at once. The end result of putting these two facts together couldn't have been more obvious. Ranma was forced to supervise this training to hilarious effect, with her often being forced to dump out the water and a twitching half-dead fairy alongwith it. Nevertheless Tessa forced herself to grow stronger, grow accustomed to the drain of the soul sapping water, and cultivated her inner strength to the point that she started regularly drinking the soul sapping water just to force herself to grow even stronger. And once the water stopped having any effect? That's when the TRUE training began! Tessa pushed herself to her absolute limit over and over again, both in body and soul, and ended up forming a strange sort of rivalry with Black*Star. Their egos pushed them to fight each other over and over again in more and more elaborate competitions, yet neither of them held it against each other and only saw it as "being a big person and helping the little guy up"-essentially, they mutually deluded themselves that their efforts were for the sake of others and their own magnanimity, when in truth their constant competition was a form of refinement to push themselves to be stronger than they otherwise could have hoped to be. Deluded as it may have been, this competitive training pushed Tessa and Ranma to become so much stronger it wasn't even funny-mastering strange techniques like Soul Compression and developing something akin to a Scythe Meister's Witch Hunter for usage with the gauntlet form that Ranma took on. Immense power compressed into an incredibly focused point allowed for truly explosive results, letting them tear through Clowns and Kishin Eggs with ease. Tessa's immense and ever-growing might saw her getting involved with the main plot of Soul Eater to a degree, though she herself never really cared much for things beyond simply doing her duties as a Meister and getting a chance to tempt girls into gluttony. Her own will and Anti-Demon Wavelength normally kept her Madness Wavelength in check so she usually didn't get very far with that, though once Asura was released from his seal she did play around with releasing her Madness a little more frequently and intentionally...though in the end, only lightly corrupted a few of the students. Tessa still stayed on the side of Order for the most part and participated in the battles against the Kishin and Madness, and even got the chance to turn Ranma into a Death Scythe-a damn powerful one at that. During the final battle she was one of the most powerful combatants and almost a match for Asura himself all on her own, to the point that she was genuinely considering taking up the mantle of "Kishin of Gluttony" to some degree...but ultimately held back. Tessa wasn't one to seek world domination after all; all she desired was to fatten cute girls and indulge in expansion fetishism in many myriad ways. With her Madness infecting her Arcology on a fundamental level she could simply indulge herself there, without any consideration for the outside world. There were still a few incidents here and there when she let slip the depths of her Madness in the actual world, but on account of both how benign she tended to be AND the fact that she was aligned with Order for the most part, Death (The Kid) was generally willing to overlook them. Tessa was able to seduce a few studens of Shibusen to join her in the Mysterium in the end-Kim and Jacqueline, Tsugumi and her three different Meisters, and while she didn't manage to actually seduce her she DID at least imprint a little bit of weight gain fetishism on both Black*Star and Tsubaki. It was enough; Tessa left this world a far more powerful, far more enriched, and far more Mad woman than she entered.

I haven't posted a build in days, and the anons talking about Haste Broken Worlds made me wanna make one. NuBee Bodymod: Cleansed, Adjustment, Sex (F), Coloration (Blonde Hair, Green Eyes), Strength 5, Stamina 5, Agility 5, Dexterity 5, Flexibility 3, Rejuvination, Homeostasis Gonna need really high physical stats. Thankfully Stamina 5 and Homeostasis allow for me to run forever. Base of Operations: Stipend +1500, Base Aesthetics (Apartment), Medbay -100, Kitchen -50, Greenhouse -100, Dressing Room -50, Deluxe Gym -100, Storage Closet -50, Plumbing -100, Power -100, Communications -100, Stock Terminal -50, Automatons -100, Elves -50, AI -150, Portal x2 -400. -1500 0 Just taking this thing because I need a place to live and having a pocket dimension apartment is always nice. Got the Automatons, Elves, and AI just so I can have an excuse to be a slob Dead By Daylight Origin: Survivor, Escape, F, 19 Drawbacks: Gauntlet, Out For Number One +100, Stolen Voice +100, These Things Differ From Time To Time +100, Familiar Faces +100, Inept Companions +200, Skittish +200, Backfires +200, Expanded Roster +200, Sapped Vitality +300. +1500 Perks: The Bloodweb, Basic Repair, Pulse, Search -100, Psychometry -600, Animal Friendly, Run Motherfucker Run -100, Fast And Quiet -150, Houdini -200, Goosebumps -300. -1450 50 Items: Charity Case, Benedict's Journal -50, Map. -50 0 I know there's perks around for getting up to speed really quick, but Run Motherfucker Run is the only one I can actually think of. Well, spending a jump running away from various kinds of horror movie monsters is a really good way to get good at on the fly reactions, I guess? I'm a very skittish mute pacifist, so I'm just stuck running as best as I can, leaving the other survivors to their own fates. Clustertruck Drawbacks: Midnight Highway +50, Dashboard Melting +50, Jerky Jalopy +200, Shut Up And Drive +100, Burma Shave +100, Rush Hour +100, Racing The Red Lights +200, The Longest Road +300. +1100 Perks: Double Jump -100, Air Dash -100, Levitation -150, Truckin' USA, Leg To Stand On -100, Balance In All Things -100, Shiny Side Up -100, Hundred Miles -100, 10-33 -100. -850 250 Items: Trucker Hat, Grappling Hook -100, Hundred Mile Coffee -150. -250 0 Next is Clustertruck, because it's actually all about the fast paced parkour. It's also a game by the same people who made Haste, which is fun. I took a frankly stupid amount of drawbacks, but the gauntlet doesn't end until I give up and I have no intention of giving up. Secret of Evermore Origin: Hero, F, 10 Drawbacks: Pop Culture Addict +100 1100 Perks: Weapon Charge -100, Movie Buff, Ring Menu -100, Saw It In A Movie Once -200, Practice Makes Perfect -300. -700 400 Items: A Bone, A Claw, And A Stick, Ancient Artefacts -50, Heavy Metal -50, Survival Kit -50, Trader's Satchel -50, Charm Pouch -200, Jaguar Tooth Ring. -400 0 Next is Secret of Evermore, to pick up Practice Makes Perfect and the Jaguar Tooth Ring. The first so I can get better at running from just running, without having to actually practice or anything. The second is a pretty decent speed boost, letting me move at around fifty miles per hour. Transmetropolitan Origin: Revival, F, 24 Perks: Buybomb Immunity -100, Chekhov's Background Skills (Courier) -200, Investigation -400, Unexpected -200. -900 100 Items: Glasses (All Features) -100 0 I just really wanted the Glasses item. This setting's a cesspit, but I don't need to eat and I'm pretty sure I can run fast enough to get to the other side of the continent before that super tidal wave the drawbacks mentions destroys everything. Code Lyoko Origin: Transfer Student, F, 11

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Perks: Return To The Present, Can We Focus Please? -200, Xanaproofed -300, Not Scrawny Svelte -100, Uplink -400. -1000 0 Items: Sewer Skateboard I'm just here for Not Scrawny, Svelte. I figure I shouldn't have any trouble surviving Xana's bullshit, and my Glasses should make it rather trivially easy to pass all my classes. I'm absolutely fine with outright cheating at everything using my thought controlled computer glasses. While Code Lyoko is a really fun setting, I absolutely positively do not want to be anywhere even close to the plot. No, I'm going to go out of my way to avoid the protagonists in their entirety, not hesitating in the least to take full advantage of The Pulse to never be anywhere near Xana's bullshit. Kenshi Origin: Mercenary, Human Perks: Healthy People, Progression -400, Trade Routes -200, Resilience -300, Jack of All Trades, Metal Fist -100. -1000 0 Items: Stipend +200, Explorer's Map -100, Trader's Wooden Backpack -100. -200 0 Next is Kenshi. Trade Routes is a flat doubling of my movement speed and Progression will be making me slowly, steadily, faster the more I run around. I'll eventually even manage to surpass the speed boost of the Jaguar Tooth Ring, rendering that thing essentially useless. I'm going to try to get a courier job. The person who inspired this chain IS a courier, and a courier job will have me running across the country on the regular, giving me constant slow growth to my speed.

Might as well post my chains. First is my Back Alley Doctor chain, which honestly I've kinda taken a break on out of writer's block/getting interested in other things. Second is what I've been calling my Shitty DBZ Fanfic chain, because it was born out of-you guessed it-a shitty DBZ fanfic. I don't have that one in a PDF yet, so I actually can't post it. Instead I'll just post the current build for that chain. Or rather, builds. 26) Elder Scrolls - Morroblivion (CCDT) Age: 23 Gender: Female Origin: Mage -100 CP Race: Redguard Birthsign: The Mage Prophecy: Nerevarine Perks >Fortify Magicka -100 CP >Adrenaline Rush -Free >Disease Resist -Free >Alchemist -150 CP >Conjurer -150 CP >Enchanter -200 CP >Shehai -600 CP >Spellmaker -300 CP Drawbacks >Adoring Fan +200 CP >Cliff Racers +200 CP >Oblivion Crisis +200 CP Elder Scrolls - Morrowind Race: Khajiit (Alfiq) Age: 17 Gender: Female Focus: Magic Birth Sign: The Mage, Fay -100 CP Faction: Mage's Guild Location: Seyda Neen Perks >The Road Most Travelled -Free >Walk Up To People, Ask Them Their Life Story -Free >Not Dialogue Supported -Free >Famous Writer -Free >Alien World -100 CP >Skill Books -100 CP >Economical Artifacts -100 CP >Collectionist -200 CP >Touching The Divine -200 CP >Divine Flesh -200 CP

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>Finest Blacksmith In The Land -200 CP >Magical Novice -Free >Discerning Eye -100 CP >Spellmaker -200 CP >Loremaster -300 CP >Magical Regulation -100 CP >Research And Rediscovery -200 CP Items >Clothes -Free >Small House -Free >Stuff Gets Broken, Better Fix It -Free >Lessons Of Jumper -Free >Soul Gems -200 CP >Ingredients And Potions, Oh My -200 CP >Loot Filled Sewers -300 CP Drawbacks >Lore Lore Lore +0 CP >Cliff Racing +200 CP >Persecuted x2 (Hist/Argonians, Morag Tong) +400 CP >Sleeper +400 CP >Hostile Faction (Hist/Argonians) +400 CP >Bondaged By Fate +400 CP Elder Scrolls - Morrowind (Stupid_Dog) Location: Seyda Neen Race: Dwemer Origin: Observer Perks >Scrumptious Sweetroll -100 CP >Warrior-Poet -200 CP >Regulation Versus Freedom -Free >Armored Versus Unarmored -Free >Cursed Items -100 CP >Fast Travel -100 CP >Elven Art Of Enchanting -200 CP >Mythopoeia -200 CP >Divine Metaphysics -300 CP >Will -300 CP >Sleepers Awaken -100 CP Items (+300 Item CP) >Scriptures -100 CP >Spellbook -Free >The Young Scrolls -Free >Heart Of Lorkhan -300 Item CP, -300 CP Drawbacks >Nerevarine +0 CP >Outlander +100 CP >Conflicting Accounts +100 CP >Unsanctioned +200 CP >Watch The Skies, Traveler +200 CP >Fargoth Ur x2 +400 CP

I think that people should generally try to post builds in the general thread, or post in both, unless it gets like >>369 >>371 >>832 >>833 >>834 and starts being very unwieldy to scroll through. Even then, it's no problem for that anon to post a PDF in the general. Thanks to that anon for posting them walls-o-text here, btw. Pic for attention.

>>1076 Fair enough. Just leaving my writing in the writing thread for posterity. I'll go and post my builds in the main general then.

[Avesta of Black and White redux] >Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/93737085/#q93742703 The end came without mercy or meaning. There was no safe place left in all the Age of Zero. The Kalachakra Stones seeded throughout the universes suddenly bared their fangs and ransacked animal, vegetable and mineral alike-chewing through human bone like straw and licking the screaming motes of undying dust up from the universal void. All life, from the meanest bacterium to the grandest starship-shearing warrior, was eaten indiscriminately. The fortunate lost their sensory organs instantly The unfortunate lived to see themselves distorted into crystalline structures filled with ravening malice, screaming in silence. And all of it started when one day, a masked man named Naraka Atman looked up and said “Alright, let’s wrap this up. I’m bored. This story is boring me”- >I Need To Talk To God, Digital Devil Saga part 2 >Geometrics Expert, Ciel Nosurge >Translator of Zero + Apoptosis: Naraka, Avesta of Black and White -it said across multiple iterations of reality, with no hope of being heard unless the respondent had a grasp of communication beyond the structure underlying reality itself. Of course, I understood everything completely, and could reply without fail. “So why don’t you just stay still” he added, as an afterthought, “As I come on over and eat all your friends?” I'm not there. I'm atop a Throne advanced by technology lightyears beyond the Age of Zero, urged by an increasingly testy Mithra that now, NOW is the time to fulfil my role as the Commander of the Pantheon and lead her and the other cosmic idiots in my camp into glorious victory against Naraka. Except- "I don't think you seem to understand" I said, tapping the Throne. "This world, this throne-it's not a fortress" >Phenomena Affirmation + The Third Eye, Bayonetta Origins: Cereza and the Stray Demon >Jumper's Stream: Game System + Omniscient Reader + Scanning the Star Stream + A Single Story: Eternity and Epilogue, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint >Donning the Deerstalker, Fate/Legends: God Save The Queen "It's an orrery" I declared. “Now watch closely, this is how you kill a god-eater” Light shone from every direction and none. The monster who fed on world-sized gods knew it’s prey well, and had anticipated eloquent metaphors for grand performances and a desperate last stand of blood-crazed idiots simply because that was the only hand it knew they had to play. But I wasn’t from here. All I needed the Hadou Gods for was to serve as test subjects for my actual plan. "The truth is, I don't need you or your plan" I told Mithra, dismissing her and her tube. >Mondaiji, Third Perpetual Motion Machine >Artisan of Celestial CalibreX2, Shards of the Exalted Dream: Heaven’s Reach >Minnsbrunnr, Ah My Goddess!
>The Silver Strength, Stellar Transformations part 2 >^Dao of Genocide, generic xianxia >^Temple of Thought, Binbougami-ga >^I Will Surpass God!, Soul Eater >^Body of a Mind, Mind of a Body, Smite >^Power Without Limit, One Punch Man
>Jumper Is Stronger Than Time + Time Ends All Men, Dragon Ball Super >Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Blame!
>Karmatron Dynamics, GUNNM >Head, Eye, Claw: Head + Combat Applications + Singularity, Library of Ruina >Heretic-Engineer, Demon the Descent >Student of Autochthon + Power From Darkness + Legendary Savant + Sorcerer of the First AgeX3 + Spiritual Succession + Majestic Radiant Presence, Exalted: The First Age >Namer, Shadow of the Demon Lord >Neutronium (custom Incarna magical material), Exalted: Spirits of Creation “All I needed was a control group for isolating the anti-craving factor. That which you call Amrita. So that I could first enforce a substantive nucleus for the being you call Naraka-”

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>Visage + Holy + Allegorical, Nobilis >The Arbiter, Scion And I did. I looked at it, and I declared the entity a discrete existence. A still, vulnerable target. It squired in my gaze like chocolate left to melt on a hot road, but the orrery and my Burning Gaze of the Firament first seared through it’s pretences of physicality-then redefined them as calcified prostration. There was nowhere left for it to run, there was nobody left for it to be. A far less advance version of the Throne had contained Naraka. Sealed it’s presence from influencing reality, though it could still bring forth Sensories and subtly tilt causality away from allowing technology to advance past the point of creating it’s prison. But the Throne I had built was far more advanced. It had incorporating the strange sciences of the Needle Grail and the hyperdimensional engineering of the Osiran race. Primordial titans who defined technology itself had incorporated their organs as components, and post-singularity AIs had updated it’s software. And just to be safe: I had abducted Naraka’s Sensories, and one by one subjected them to Surrender Oath and Goddess Seal. So that on top of everything else, the Throne held Naraka fast with sympathic magic. “Hmm. That’s new. But that’s stupid, that could never happen” it mused dismissively, marvelling at it’s new state of existence even as glittering femtomachines flowed like prismatic lightning on canals of neural physics and stranger things. Gears of light spun into existence around galaxies and pylons started to generate pocket universes for energy as the full brunt of my technological powerbase manifested itself in the Age of Zero, converting the very laws of physics themselves into a cage for Naraka. … “I said, that NEVER HAPPENED” it said, trying to wrest itself free of it’s state. Then the femtomachines started kneading it’s crystal structures into the same deathless powder it reduced it’s victims to, the Mania generators started disintegrating it’s snide consciousness just as it fed on the “heart” that the locals of this world so cherished, and systems that were to the humble Blackstone Fortress what nuclear reactors were to bonfires started sundering it’s essence. >Theft, Nobilis >True Faith, Mage the Ascension >Black Truth, Umineko: Catbox >J’accuse!, Fallen London (Clover edition)
>Messiah, Shin Megumi Tensei 2 >Neither Human nor Devil + Fragment of the Great Will w. Human, Shin Megumi Tensei: Nocturne NARAKA ATMAN, I declared in the tongue of Eden as concepts ignited and coalesced with each syllable, JUDGEMENT HAS COME TO HUMBLE YOU FOR CLAIMING VICTORY AFTER A MERE AMBUSH. YOU SPEAK OF HUNGER. YET YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A FISH ON MY CUTTING BOARD. NOW, LET US PEEL OFF YOUR SCALES ONE BY ONE “Feeble words when you lack a sharp enough knife!” it called mockingly, settling into it’s bindings with languid contempt. “What makes you think you can in a way that matters? Not even Hajun found the means to end me and my churning!” 
>Soulhymn + Via Salvatio FF13-3 >Light Without End, Unsong
>Shining Path, Exalted: Abyssals >Vastness + Deepness, Nobilis >Celestial Throne, Exalted: Spirits of Creation >Key of Kings, Kill Six Billion Demons >Act 4: Infinite Spin, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures: Steel Ball Run >Enlightenment, Journey to the West + Trigram Alchemy (Wukong edition) >Prismatic Symmetry + Dredgen You + Embrace the Darkness: Resonance + Shaped Finality, Destiny: The Darkness >Jumper’s Light, Destiny: The Light “Well, for starters” I declared, WHAT CHURNING?

Naraka froze in horror. It’s Sensories all reeled in conclusion, momentarily lucid in the grip of agony. Even Mithra looked taken aback as she felt history shift in a way that left even godhood discomforted. Then at last, the fires of Telos came to the Age of Zero. Ahead of them came a brisk shimmer of light-snatching souls and spiriting them away as it swept over the entire universe, if only to spite Naraka by denying it even a deathbed meal. But the Eradia’s properties was also the keystone I needed to substitute a Pantheon to command. I created billions, then trillions, then numbers beyond mortal counting of every lifeform in the Age of Zero even as the monster writhed in divine judgement. Then I melted them all. With Resonance and Solar heat, I dissolved them-and with the Key of Kings I churned matter and time, wrestling with Naraka’s own command over the substrate of reality, denying it any final means of escape from it’s fate. It’s attempts to reset history locked into stalemate with my own, but beyond space-time’s petty confines I used my Translator abilities to manifest countless identities I dissolved into a membrane around the universe’s interior itself. Once in sufficient quantities, I started to emanate it: An anti-Naraka wavelength, a customised Final Shape that would bring a stillness that was most certainly not life. Call it Halāhala, the poison of death. My one concession to that melodramatic playwright’s posturing. Once the last of the souls were spirited away, I set off a tzimtzum. Uninformed minds might compare it to the Big Bang. Divine light without end tainted with the edge of Oblivion’s maw blasted Naraka-and giving form and definition to the dissolved identities that were rendered into perfected weapons against him. Naraka was drawn into an inescapable, ever-refining vortex that dragged in his entire poisoned universe-larder with force great enough to send it all into a singularity smaller than a quark. But an even greater force was propelling his screaming chunks outward again. My Dao of Genocide’s formation was complete. Killing countless unreal lives to transmigrate a single cosmic immortal, creating a flame hot enough to embody Moksha, using the structures that held Naraka as kiln and crucible. the boundless light was forced into a structure of infinite force and divine character that I had gleaned in a different world. That force, coupled with my power, set off a maelstrom of all-destroying flame that at last- “Okay, okay, enough with the purple prose” it said, tired. Despondent. “I can’t go on like this”

“I’m so…hungry…” it groaned. -and suddenly there was no Naraka Atman, there had never been any Naraka Atman, and there were a lot of refugees from the Age of Zero confusedly stumbling around my world.

“And that” I told the onlookers, “is how you kill a god-eater”

“B-b-but you didn’t use the power of HEART” whined Mithra. “I rolled my eyes. “That’s like trying to kill a mouse by gently feeding it the world’s largest cheese”

>>1195 S-Shard-S-Sama?!

Cosmic Warehouse >Utilities: Electricity, Plumbing, Heat/A.C., Local_Net, Force_Wall, Gravity_Link >Structures: N/A >Miscellaneous: Portal, Link --- --- NuBee’s Bodymod Supplement >Foundation: Cleansed, Adjustment, Sex (Female) >Statistics (Own) Strength: 2, Stamina: 2, Agility: 2, Flexibility: 2, Reflexes: 5, Intelligence: 5, Charisma: 5 >Body Modifications: Coloration, Grooming >Mental Modifications: Natural_Disposition (Thoughtful), Alignment (Male), Strength, Memory >Character Perks: Restraint, Body_Maintenance (Homeostasis) --- --- Generic Incest >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, Combine (Casual_Sex_World), The_Little_One >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): N/A, N/A, 16 (N/A) >Power List: Taboo_Tales / Tea_Parties, What_Are_We_Gonna_Do_On_the_Bed?, Momma’s_Boy >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Pantsu >Companion List: Family_Builder (X2) (G_I_1 (Mom) (The_Caretaker / Human / Female / 32 / Taboo_Tales, Habsburg-Be-Gone, My_Little_Sister_Can’t_Be_This_Cute! / Domestic_Monarch, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Domestic_Treasure), G_I_2 (Adoptive_Mom) (The_Breadwinner / Human / Female / 35 / Taboo_Tales / If_Every_Pork_Chop_Were_Perfect, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit, Happy_Inheritance, Home_Sweet_Home (300CP) / Work_Clothes)) >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: N/A --- Casual Sex World >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): 2025, Hybrid_Setting (Earth_History (Modern_Earth), Eastern_Media (Portal_Invasion)), Drop-In (Hybrid_Reason (Casual (Non-Existent_Taboo), Kinky (Dirty_Fantasy))) (N/A) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): Human, Female, N/A (N/A) >Power List: Safe_Day, Clean_as_a_Whistle, Casual_Pregnancy / Work_Relations, Anime_Hair / Exotic_Beauty, Carnivore, Beta_Bitch >Starting Item List:

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N/A >Item List: Autobiographical, Jailbroken_VR_Device / Bucket_List >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: N/A --- --- Hypno App Fantasia >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, New_World (Wild_Beastly_West), Heroine (Drop-In) (N/A) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): Human, Female, 18 (N/A) >Power List: Class (High_Mage) / Heroic_Beauty, Virgin's_Adventure, Playing_the_Slave, Personality_Reinstated, Bitch_Witch, Dwarven_Taught_Artificer, Chosen_Heroine, Snap_Crackle_Pop >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Standard_Slutty_Outfit, Wealthy_Inheritance (X2), High-End_Gear (Blacksmith) >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: Fan_of_the_Fan >Future: Continue_On --- --- --- Behold, my horror. Hopefully I formatted all this correctly. This is how I list my choices. I make my choices through the lense of harm mitigation and then opportunity maximization. By the standards of NuBee’s Bodymod Supplement, I have a 3 in Stamina because I can run a 10k in under an hour, a 3 in Flexibility because I have been able to put both legs behind my head since I was a child, and a 3 in Intelligence because I was slotted to skip a grade while also having an IQ of 116. I chose Natural_Disposition (Thoughtful) and Alignment (Male) to account for my changing sex. Generic Incest and Casual Sex World I combined because Casual Sex World has the option to largely eliminate taboos, and therefore I can just stack Generic Incest for more subtle manipulation Perks. Kinky (Dirty_Fantasy) is described as making it impossible to die, and so it's perfect for a first Jump. If your biological parent has Habsburg-Be-Gone and or [My_Little_Sister_Can’t_Be_This_Cute!], then it effectively counts as if you had purchased them yourself, and therefore it's just more min-maxing for when I can get purchases that allow for accelerated development in my children or through mitosis. The other parent I chose to be my adopted parent and the provider because if they then legally die I will get their stuff, accident or otherwise. Beta_Bitch and stacking attractiveness boosters further ensures my safety in the future, and the Jailbroken_VR_Device can be used for harmless fun but maybe also training some skills. New_World (Wild_Beastly_West) with Fan_of_the_Fan seems like the potentially safest version of any of his settings I can make while potentially also having modern technology. High_Mage and Blacksmith are the actual names of the classes listed in the doujinshis instead of Witch and Artificer said in the Jump. If Beta_Bitch fails, Chosen_Heroine shouldn't. Overall, this is the first few Jumps and broad setup I have optimized. I've had others over the years, but I purposely stop doing Jumpchain sometimes and delete all my files so that I have to do it again. This is just the latest version.

>>834 Jump 14: Bleach (Valeria) Location: Karakura Town/Roles: Hero, Warrior, Scientist/Race: Shinigami/Age: 15/Gender: Female Perks: Spiritual Awareness/Bleach Body Ready/Clear Headed Ditz/Shattered Shaft/It's No Fun With Two Hands/Master Of One/Doctor, Doctor/Intellectual Titan/Ferry Onwards/Kido Training/Kido Specialist/Arcane Learning/Death Wizard/The Final Getsuga/Divine Skill (Crystals)/Soul Separation (-2250 CP) Items: Inoue Family Secret Recipes/Work From Home/Soul Phone/Jigokuchou Garden/Bakkoto (-50 CP) Companions: Senna/Dead Reaper Drawbacks: Dilemmas And Dangers/Distractions And Daydreams/Bubble Brains/Friends, Family, And Fiends/Tasty Bait/Wanted: Dead/Kurosaki Ichigone/Railroad Tracks/Unfortunate Linchpin (+1300 CP) Tessa found that she already had a history in this world when she entered it: Lady Deathwitch, they called her. According to her background, she was an ancient Shinigami sorceress who had invented multiple forbidden sorceries and created an entirely unique branch of Kido-a thing she called the Crystal Chronicles (結晶歳史 - Crystallization Of History). The principle was fairly simple; through a Kido technique of her own invention the Deathwitch devised a method to crystallize and solidify an aspect of one's soul-their physical strength, their speed, their endurance, and so on-into a crystalline orb the Lady Deathwitch called a "Materia". Then one would build upon that aspect via a method of "lattice extension" by which one invested their spiritual power into the crystal and expanded it outwards. It was an additive process, never reducing what one had or making one so hyperspecialized they became incapable of other pursuits, but a given soul could only support so many Materia at a time. It was a genius method of spiritual cultivation, to be frank-allowing even the weakest to grow stronger slowly and steadily, and allowing the already strong to expand their versatility swiftly and effortlessly. So potent was the skill...that Central 46 declared Tessa a traitor to the Gotei 13, very heavily regulating the Crystal Chronicles and demanding Tessa's execution. Tessa was able to escape of course-her background self wouldn't be here if she wasn't-but lost her own Materia in the process, shattering much of her strength and revealing a weakness in the technique in the process; while it was normally a purely additive process, it was possible to invest so much of one's soul into their Crystal Chronicles that losing or shattering them could permanently damage and weaken the soul. It would take many centuries of hiding before the Lady Deathwitch would regain even a bare fraction of her original strength, and when Tessa fully awoke to her background she still was only slightly stronger than the average Lieutenant in terms of actual Reiatsu. Of course, Soul Society was nowhere near principled enough to NOT use the very thing they had banished Tessa for creating. The Crystal Chronicles were carefully regulated, but never banned. It became standard practice that all Shinigami would have at least one Materia, and to be a Seated Officer one must be able to support three. It was expected for a Lieutenant to support four, and a Captain was expected to be able to host five. Further, there were exactly seven types of Crystal Chronicles allowed in Soul Society: Strength, Agility, Dexterity, Vitality, Essence, Focus, and Will. Strength correlated to Hakuda-to physical strength and ability. Agility to Hoho-to speed and reflexes. Dexterity correlated to Zanjutsu, to skill and bodily control. Vitality was simple and self-explanatory, reinforcing a Shinigami's lifeforce and sheer durability. Essence correlated to pure spiritual power-Reiatsu, how much spiritual pressure they could exert at a time. Focus was control over their spiritual power, how easily they could reign it in and manipulate it. Will was one's connection to their own Zanpakuto, and how much of their sword's latent potential they could draw out. These seven Materia were the only ones allowed to be formed in Soul Society. They were not the only ones possible-the Lady Deathwitch had initially devised thirteen different Materia for her initial testing, and originally envisioned it as a method of crystallizing Kido into easy-to-cast forms that could be passed out to others. What it became was so much more than what she originally set out to make, and at the same time so much less than what she originally envisioned. The method for making "Kido-Materia" was lost entirely with Tessa's banishment even while the greater practice of Crystal Chronicles survived. Soul Society was lesser for it-but even then, they were still made much stronger than they would have been in canon. Each and every Shinigami had at least one uniquely powerful talent, and each and every one of them was capable of growing much stronger much faster than they normally could have. There was still value in that. Beyond just Tessa's presence, this world was a bit different from the canonical world of Bleach. For one thing Ichigo had died stillborn; his infant soul couldn't handle the poisoning of the Hollow reiatsu within Masaki. The Kurosaki family had grieved but still continued to have a family. Yuzu and Karin were born some years later and had no taint of Hollow power, so the perfect natural hybrid was simply never born. For another thing, many of the Shinigami that would have been male were instead female, and most Shinigami tended to be female just as a matter of course. Something about how female souls were simply more adapted to wielding spiritual powers than male souls as far as the Twelfth Division could figure. For now, Tessa was simply living a quiet life in Karakura, slowly regaining her strength and developing her Kidou and Tendo. She did plan on taking some sort of revenge against Soul Society for their injustices, but she wouldn't destroy it. She'd probably just kill the Central 46 and maybe try to push forth some reforms or something. Or maybe just live her best life. Of course, her plans went a little bit haywire when a certain pint-sized Shinigami stepped through her apartment window, scanning for a strange Reiatsu signature that she could just barely make out. Rukia mistook Tessa for being a spiritually powerful human, and Tessa did nothing to convince her otherwise-instead working to hide that she had once been a member of Soul Society as well. Tessa found herself taking the place of Ichigo in the story, with a few critical differences. One being the fact that she was a fully grown woman when Ichigo had only been starting school, so she had a job to do as well. Specifically she was a baker, running a bakery out of her apartment. Tessa ended up hiring Rukia as an employee as part of her cover story to make sure Rukia fit into the human world...which, of course, let Tessa slip Rukia all sorts of sweet treats and delights during work. She may have hated to admit it, but within a month Rukia had become a bit of a chubby bunny. While this was going on Tessa was carefully retraining herself and rebuilding her spiritual power. With her true consciousness and capabilities in place Tessa decided not to pursue the path of the Crystal Chronicles that the original Lady Deathwitch was set on. Instead, she'd forge a wholly different path...a path of a Numinous Soul. Whenever she grew her spiritual power to the level of a Captain-Class entity she'd carefully invest it into an aspect of her soul and divide it, forming what she called an Aeon from it and reducing her power until she was barely stronger than a civilian. Then she would repeat the process all over again; build up, investment, division. Within the three months or so that Rukia spent with Tessa in the human world, Tessa was able to forge four Aeons, all just a little short of Captain Class in power. These Aeons she kept within her own Inner World, training and communing with them so that she could slowly and steadily develop her powers and bonds with them. This was a slower process, but each of the Aeons grew in their own way. Within three months Tessa was only able to establish a "perfect" bond with a single Aeon, but held off on re-integrating them for now. The sheer powerboost of doing so would be too obvious. This method was ridiculous and seemingly self-destructive, but it held unique benefits that Tessa knew would allow her to grow explosively in power. Each of her Aeons was capable of growing stronger INDEPENDENTLY of Tessa, generating their own spiritual energy, having their own unique skills and abilities, and all of them faultlessly loyal to her. Each of them could even host their own sets of Materia, growing even faster through the Crystal Chronicles and developing unique special abilities through the "Kido-Materia" that Tessa originally envisioned the system as. But the greatest benefits of her Aeons came not from their division, but their harmonization; Tessa could undergo Soul Resonance with her Aeons, VASTLY boosting her Reiatsu through passing it back and forth between them. This process would be mentally and spiritually straining on them, of course, but would still hold vastly greater results than simply re-fusing with her Aeons...at least, until she achieved a Perfect Bond. Once Tessa achieved a Perfect Bond with an Aeon she could undergo a "Final" Fusion with it, allowing it and her soul to reunite in such a way that they added up to more than the sum of their parts. It was an explosive growth of power beyond all reason, far greater than even the most perfect form of Soul Resonance could achieve-and even granted unique abilities depending on the personality and skills of the Aeon in question. The Aeon in question would be permanently fused and lost within Tessa, but Tessa could simply divide her soul to create a new one of equal power afterwards-and would still end up with a great surplus of power from the whole process. Tessa had no need to undergo this Final Fusion once she achieved her Perfect Bond of course, she could always just keep it hanging in the back of her soul as a trump card...which is exactly what she was doing for now. Another thing of note; while Tessa didn't have as close of a relationship with Ichigo's canon friends, she didn't have ZERO relationship with them. Tessa was Orihime's favorite baker and she frequently gave her plenty of free sweets and samples. Tessa's background had moonlit as Tatsuki's childhood Karate instructor, and the athletic girl had something of a girlcrush on Tessa. She'd fought alongside Chad against various bullies, earning a lifelong ally and friend. She had no real connection to Karin or Yuzu, but that was fine. It was surprisingly how far the influence of a baker could go...especially backed by a bit of djinni luck, as she always was. All that to say that when one particularly ornery Quincy walked into her bakery one day and challenged her to defend the city from a tidal wave of Hollows, all the pieces were in place to ensure that those who would have awakened, still would. (1/3)

>>1560 Tessa fought alongside Uryuu and Rukia against the horde of Hollows-Rukia managing to hold her own surprisingly well, thanks to her absurdly refined Focus and Essence Materia which gave her an abundance of spiritual might which she could control with remarkable skill. The trickiest part of the whole battle for Tessa wasn't preventing casualties-but /holding back/ so she didn't give the game away. The Gillian Menos near the end nearly pushed her into using enough power to seriously alert Soul Society, but Tessa figured out a trick using Soul Menace to focus her Reiatsu to a fine point and cut the Menos down without actually using much power. After that whole debacle Tessa would've loved to have some downtime to relax...but a much chubbier Rukia was sneaking out of her bakery that very night to go and turn herself in to Soul Society, and Tessa couldn't allow that. Tessa confronted Rukia, Renji, and Byakuya as Rukia tried to turn herself in and claimed that Rukia hadn't broken any of Soul Society's laws...because it was not illegal for a Shinigami to share her powers with another Shinigami. She revealed that she was, in fact, the Deathwitch-banished from Soul Society hundreds of years ago and living amongst humanity, having hidden this fact even from Rukia herself with masterful Spirit Control. She even utilized Soul Separation to purge Rukia's energy from her own soul and send it back to Rukia...with a small tracer of her own spirit so that she could detect and influence Rukia's soul even across worlds. Byakuya tried to intervene at this point and strike Tessa down, but Tessa was more than powerful enough and skilled enough to bat her around like a toy-especially when Byakuya's powers were sealed to 20% in the living world while she could happily access her full might. Rukia felt somewhat betrayed, but Tessa asserted that their relationship was true even if the idea that she was a human was false. Eventually Byakuya was forced to retreat, taking Rukia with her. But obviously, Aizen still pulled bullshit charges through Central 46 to get Rukia executed-fraternizing with a Traitor to Soul Society was a reasonable sounding one, even though Rukia herself hadn't known this until the last moment. So Tessa invaded Soul Society WITHOUT the assistance of the rest of the Karakura squad. They volunteered to help, but she had asked them to stay behind and protect Karakura; this was her own business to take care of, and unlike them she was a grown-ass woman who could deal with it. Yoruichi still joined her on the trip, though her and Tessa mutually kept the facade of not acknowledging the fact that they both knew who the other was. As Tessa passed through the Dangai she briefly considered undergoing an explosive training period; it wouldn't be too difficult for her to figure out a method for calming the Dangai and even establishing a safe spot free of the Kototsu. But for now, she decided she didn't need that. Tessa invaded Soul Society as a one-woman army, shattering the walls of the Seireitei in utter defiance of all logic and reason using mystical arts that nobody in this world had ever seen before. Despite that, it was merely expected of her as the Lady Deathwitch to be capable of such things; even when she was fairly weak spiritually in her background, such was her mystical skill that she was more than qualified to join the Zero Squad, and at this point she was far from spiritually weak. It was expected that the Shinigami would fight to the death against their enemies, but few of the unseated or even lesser Seated officers were willing to so much as stand in her way as she casually walked straight through Soul Society. Such was the simple might, respect, and fear that the title of Lady Deathwitch commanded. She made no secret of her coming, made no effort to hide her actions or even rush herself. She didn't need to. The (universally female) Captains of the Gotei 13 assembled in force to stand in her way, thirteen of the most powerful souls amongst all the local realms. Standing against them was a single woman-short, chubby, but endlessly confident-with a black cat sitting on her shoulder. Tessa noted that she was merely here to prevent a wrongful execution. Yamamoto declared that as a traitor to Soul Society she was to be executed herself. She declared that Soul Society had betrayed her first, but it was more than expected of them to rewrite history to suit their own narrative. Still, that was neither here nor there; she had but one objective today, and that was to prevent a pointless tragedy. NOT to overthrow Soul Society, or take revenge or anything like that. Yamamoto noted that Central 46's rulings were clear: Tessa was to be exxecuted, and all who associated with her-knowingly or not-would be put to the sword. Tessa simply asked how Central 46 could come to such a ruling if they were all dead. Aizen's murder and replacement of Central 46 was revealed all at once, and instead of the carefully laid plan she crafted Aizen was forced to reveal herself early, scramble to get to Rukia, and rip out the Hogyoku while Soul Society was still strong and organized. Tousen and Gin did what they could to spread chaos, and Aizen even called forth a few of her Espada to help, but it was still nowhere near the betrayal she had planned. She still managed to get away with the Hogyoku in the end, but lost Tousen and a few of her Espada in the trade...or so she thought at least, until she investigated the Hogyoku more closely after she settled into Las Noches. What she thought was the Hogyoku was, in fact, a fake that Tessa had crafted via her sheer skill with crystals and Materia. Aizen had no way of knowing that Tessa had used her own spiritual arts to quietly extract the Hogyoku from Rukia months ago and replace it with a fake, but she could guess. Well, there went a good couple hundred years of planning...she'd have to think of something to even the scales. A tense sort of alliance was established between Tessa and Soul Society, neither of them exactly happy with the other but willing to work together until the greater threat of Aizen and her army was dealt with. That said, Tessa did hold strong to the fact that Soul Society couldn't exactly /restrain/ her or even inconvenience her very much. She'd researched the Descorrer and Kumon of Hollows and developed Kido that allowed her to do the same-as well as Materia which she could grant her friends and allies to allow them similar mobility. She and her allies could simply pass through worlds as she pleased regardless of what barriers Soul Society tried to establish. That wasn't even mentioning the Kido equivalent of Shadow Clones that she also invented, which made it all the more difficult for Soul Society to do anything about her; she could simply choose to send clones out and interact with others that way and they could never really know if she was the original or not. That and her sheer audacity to simply ignore Soul Society's threats and throw around her own overwhelming might for her whimms let Tessa get away with some truly silly bullshit. Tessa was able to re-establish her relationship and even further seduce Rukia thanks to this tenuous alliance, and even made a few friends amongst the various Shinigami-such as Rangiku and Yachiru. The fact that Tessa was theoretically an enemy of Soul Society didn't stop her from joining the Shinigami Woman's Association, though it did mean that Soi Fon made a few attempts to assassinate her every now and again-failing each time as Tessa was able to use her own intellect and mystical skills to predict and prepare for such attempts while making it look utterly effortless. Tessa didn't give up her human life either-casually moving between Soul Society and Earth with just a wave of her hand and a flex of her spirit. She happily worked in her little bakery, spent time with the Karakura Squad, jumped back and forth between Earth and Soul Society, and enjoyed her life to the fullest despite the very frequent Hollow attacks, occasional assassination attempts, and storm of utter bullshit that consistently sought to drag her in. Tessa was no hero, not by any means. She was lustful, greedy, deceitful, and willing to ruin lives for the sake of her own pleasure. By many accounts it wouldn't be wrong to consider her an outright evil entity, though her lack of ambitions and her simple desires meant that she was quite often a LESSER evil. Her simple pleasures might ruin a few lives, but she did not wish to conquer worlds or destroy planes. She might enslave someone who caught her eye, but she would not care to crush free will throughout the world or remold it to her vision. And most importantly...she was a hypocrite. She knew she was evil, reveled in her desires and Madness, but she would not tolerate the evil actions of others if she saw them in front of her. She would strike down monsters, protect innocents in front of her, and fight against tyranny if the stakes were high enough. It was this fact that kept drawing Tessa into all sorts of strange shenanigans and plots, from the Zanpakuto Rebellion, the Valley of Screams, the Bounts, the Diamond Dust Rebellion, the Bakkoto, and many, many other incidents. (2/3)

>>1561 Less as an active effort and more as a consequence of the sheer number of shenanigans that she got dragged into, Tessa's power grew utterly explosively. She liked to hyperfixate on specific skills or techniques; one week she'd spend using only Zanjutsu to deal with things, developing unique cutting methods and sword skills that put all but the greatest of swordmasters to shame. Another week she exclusively used Kido, weaving her soul into spellforms that she used for everything from taking down Hollows to running her bakery. It would start "slow"-by her standards at least-but by the middle of such a week her skills would suddenly begin to rapidly and ridiculously explode in breadth and depth as she hyperfixated on something. This entire process would culminate in Tessa having some sort of "epiphany", at which point she'd divide her own soul to form an Aeon embodying whatever specific skill she'd been practicing. Then she'd go back and do it all over again with a new skill. In this way Tessa ended up developing more than a dozen Aeons. One event of particular note was the ending of the Winter War, when Aizen made her play to try and take Karakura. The events were long and bloody as Aizen waged an asymmetric war against the defenders and made truly brilliant usage of her Arrancar forces, but Tessa was able to overcome her and force the illusionist into a one on one battle against her. In that battle BOTH of them ended up implanting their half-complete Hogyokus into themselves, though Tessa had managed to improve upon Urahara's work via her own divine skill with Crystals and her experience with Materia, creating something that was almost-but not quite-a complete Hogyoku. This gave her the edge in their battle and Tessa was able to rip out Aizen's own incomplete Hogyoku, forcibly fusing it with her own, and completing her ascension into a Transcendent being as the Perfected Hogyoku's power flowed freely through her body and soul. Thanks to her modifications the Hogyoku's wish-granting power was much more firmly under Tessa's control, allowing her to guide and direct her own evolution rather than simply submit to the Hogyoku's will and pray for something good. But Tessa wasn't content to stop there. She would go on to perfectly integrate the Hogyoku into her soul, making it into an intrinsic part of her being just the same as any other part of her soul...then she would divide her soul and embody it into the form of an Aeon. Tessa would further harmonize herself with this Aeon, communing, understanding, and ultimately bonding with it...until finally she reintegrated it in a Final Fusion, integrating the Hogyoku so deeply into her essence that she and it were no longer distinguishable. This finally gave her perfect control over the Hogyoku's power, allowing her to use its miraculous wishgranting abilities to shape both herself and the world to her whims-along with so much power that her single soul alone was capable of shattering the balance between the spiritual realms. Soul Society tried to betray her shortly after she slew Aizen and took her Hogyoku, of course, but Tessa had long since grown far too powerful for them to stop-even when the Zero Squad got involved she was still able to beat them down and force them to flee, though she did not kill them. Throughout all these battles Tessa's desire for peace and simple pleasures had never wavered-even now that she became such a transcendent being she still simply wanted to enjoy herself, have fun with friends and family, and just fatten up cute girls. Simplistic, hedonistic, and ultimately not particularly destructive. Weighing duty and desire to have her executed against the fact that they literally COULDN'T beat her and the fact that she was no particular threat to the world, Soul Society was forced to make the choice that Tessa wanted them to make: a non-aggression pact, signed and enforced by Kido and Unbreakable Vow. With such a pact, Tessa was essentially free to walk amongst Soul Society...though she was frequently escorted by a member of the Zero Squad "for her safety". Said member more often than not ended up being Kirio Hikifune, and the two of them formed a fast friendship based around cooking, fattening, and all things delicious. Even with Aizen's death the crises never stopped-an invasion from Hell, the Fullbringers causing an elemental army to form, the revival of Yhwach, an honest to god alien invasion...and for some reason everything always seemed to hinge on Tessa to deal with it, forcing her to continue to put in work and continue growing stronger even after she'd become a transcendent being whose very nature was intertwined with the Hogyoku on a fundamental level. By hook and crook she FORCED the world to let her have lewd and fattening shenanigans, and ended up marrying Orihime, Rukia, Rangiku, Nel, Yoruichi, Soi-Fon, Unohana, and Kirio in one of the strangest weddings the three worlds had ever seen. Unohana was particularly tricky as Tessa was forced to fight her to the death, then revive her using some truly difficult magic alongside the power of the Hogyoku. Afterwards Unohana was willing to join the harem, but still wished for a fight "just as exciting" at least once a year. It became something of a challenge to figure out how to give Unohana the rush she desired WITHOUT killing her... Eventually her full decade in this world passed and Tessa was ready to move on to the next world. She'd fought so hard and so much that her single soul could match the might of entire worlds all on its own, and she had dozens of Aeons laying within her soul that she could call upon. She'd grown skilled in mystical arts of the soul, and overcame challenges that threatened the world over and over again. It was time to see what the next world had in store for her.

[DC Comics redux] >Previously, in which Darkness is cast from Greatness: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95252620/#95259847 Izaya looked upwards in despair at the ancient ships ravaging his world with geysers of darkness that simmered with greater destruction than mere flame. It was happening at last. Karok Ator was moments away from setting foot on his world. His Nyctari, undying and enhanced by the touch of the Great Darkness itself, darkened the skies with their mere numbers. And by comparison, the forces of New Genesis were divided and demoralised, and as he stood alone trying to defend his people, two things occurred to him: 1. Perhaps sending Orion to Earth to murder a baby he hadn't even confirmed was Darkseid was a mistake 2. This must have been what all those planetary populations he had accidentally devolved into savage beasts felt like when he had misused the Life Equation. His frustration and desperation resulted in a miracle: He actually fucking used the Alpha Effect after years of failing to in countless circumstances where it would have been useful. A big, beautiful wave of white light swept over New Genesis at the invading armies- -and Karok Ator just kind of walked through it. He slumped to his knees from sheer despair at his own impotence. "I'm not mad. I'm not even disappointed, not really, I did foresee this outcome after all" I told him, my humanoid avatar erupting from a wound in the Great Darkness as a column of celestial fire. All the varicoloured spires and gleaming fortresses of New Genesis seemed tarnished by the mere presence of the Nyctari, but my immutable form gleamed like a neutron star. "And in many ways, you deserved to know what came to pass after all" "Save them" he croaked. "I intend to. Grail. Gather the Omega Amazons and strike now, if you please" I frowned at what I sensed occurring in the Elseworld. "Unless that's a problem?" "We are en route, master! We just have to deal with some INSUBORDINATION first!" she snarled over the hyper-network. "Look, they're about to kill Lightray. Again. Just Boom Tube over, and I'll handle it personally" A circle of red PING'd into existence on high, and once again the superweapon species I had created to deal with imminent existential threats made a less dignified entrance than I'd hoped. There was a moment of swirling darkness and Omega energy akin to flowing lava as their higher dimensional forms struggled to compress into lower order reality at the same time as a surge of pink light was lighting up just behind them-and then suddenly there were giant women of living, burning stone tumbling through the air yelling at each other. Being born for war on a cosmic scale, most of them quickly righted themselves and started cutting through the Nyctari ships like cakes. Except, of course, for the one locked in a struggle with the cosmic pink thing for dominance. Two stars bombarding each other with invective and cosmic energy, smiting any combatant near them-and falling through a portal I opened to land DIRECTLY on Karok Ator. Pulping his form. "I TOLD YOU" shouted Elodie, brandishing a fist to the sky as magitech and the power of love formed an emotional energy spectrum powered gauntlet around itself, "TO STAY OUT OF MY TERRITORY!" She proceeded to punch my chief enforcer so hard the impact devastated the Nyctari ground forces nearby. "AND I TOLD YOU" shouted back Grail, lunging out of the crater of molten metal she'd been knocked into, "THAT WE REQUIRED A SEED REALITY FOR THE CAMPAIGN!" Black Omega Beams soared through the air, cutting through dozens of Nyctari ships and leaving them falling slag. ENOUGH, I told them both, catching the beams in my hand.. "Elodie. I gave Grail strict orders that she was only to requisition what you were willing to give her. Did she?" "Your very own dog of war threatened to ruin the entire Elseworld unless I surrendered all of it" she snapped. Grail flinched as I turned on her. "Grail. Elodie's side project was to be left alone on the grounds she and the prisoners of war would support our efforts. Does she remain compliant?" "Master, the bearer of Yog-Sothoth scattered my forces across their entire reality. I concede I...overstepped, in zeal for your cause, but no. No, she was not compliant" said Grail vindictively, making Elodie wince. "Then it seems I require a demonstration of your loyalty. Elodie, redeem yourself by dealing with this" I said, blasting the regenerating husk of Karok as he rose to his feet "residue of my foe. Secure this planet. Omega Amazons, withdraw into low orbit. I am imposing a trial on my little Judas" "Ah. You probably don't want those...things spreading entropic energy over the whole planet, huh?" said Elodie as the fighting withdrew into space. The ground forces advanced, but with a snap of her own fingers Elodie drew forth a comically Japanified legion of superheroes from a GREEN portal to the Elseworld-like, even moreso than Ame-Komi. Seriously look up Batman Ninja to get an idea for how weebified everyone was-that trackled the invaders anew. "Why no, I do not. And this is definitely a trial, not a convenient political fiction for you" I said innocently, as Grail fumed. "As for you, Grail, you and the Omega Amazons have a far more important task at hand. The counter-invasion of the Nyctari homeworld"

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"With pleasure" she vowed. Behind her what appeared to be a giant rabbit beat a slavering monstrosity with it's peers with magical girl backup. "Oh, and the execution of your brother" "You jest, surely? Grayven's still alive?" "I suppose being easily forgettable has it's advantages" I said, pointing at a wild-haired man who had his own black eyebeams now. "Oh. Allow me to fix that" she said, getting into a black eyebeam-off with him. And out-eyebeaming him by a razor's edge by adding Abyssal Oblivion eyebeams to the already advanced Omega stare-off. "You only delay the inevitable" vowed Karok as Elodie duelled him with danmaku and energy yo-yo and plasma falcons. "That dotard god may have been old and feeble, but he wielded the creator's own light. Nothing the Darkness cannot reassemble me from. You will not prevent me from executing the other feeble divinities" "You and every other generically evil humanoid menace. Have to say, for a god of the Second World I was expecting a bit more than just...Gorr, but even pettier" she retorted, creating walls of Spiral Energy rifles and blasting him from all sides. He smashed through them, engaging in the time-honoured tradition of highly advanced gods and aliens resorting to melee combat for no clear reason common to worlds like this. "You know what your kind never see coming, though?" "Disingenuous" he declared, raked by an energy falcon. To his shock the wounds from that one didn't heal; if I was in a telling mood I could have told him that the Cosmic Raptor's energies superseded most of those in this reality, and that the Phoenix Force was strong enough to contest the Beyonders-and that Elodie wielded both. But I wasn't. "I have outlasted multiple pantheonic cycles. No weapon formed against me shall prosper!" he declared as rains of shining swords fell from golden clouds. "Sealing" Elodie did several handsigns. Her native Lumen powers surged with Imperial power. For a moment her silhouette was as ineffable and wondrous as my own; the outline of a pink-haired girl gave way to a window into various scenes across the multiverse. Children playing with Superman toys. Birds flying free across the ocean. An old couple holding hands in contented retirement. An escaped slave weeping tears of joy as he cast aside broken shackles. And Karok, caught off-guard by a foe that couldn't be generically corrupted or pinned down and stab, suddenly found himself scattered across reality. It was not a traditional seal. Rather, the principle of freedom separated his existence into phases-a limb here, a moment of consciousness there-and mass scattered them across the different vibrational frequencies of this reality. The card that anchored this effect caught in Elodie's hand bore his very surprised face. "Bam. One decapitation strike, hot and ready. Am I forgiven?" asked Elodie cheekily. "He has the touch of the Great Darkness in him. He can contest miracles" I warned her sternly. "But. Yes. Smoothly done. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an atrocity to stop on Earth" "What atrocity? Without their leader, this war is all but won!" shouted Highfather in joy. "Yours" I pointed out. "Oh. Right. Orion..." he mumbled. I came back to Earth wondering if I should even bothered. Orion, exerting all his power for the first time in many continuities, was somehow unable to stop Big Barda and Scott Free from keeping a baby he himself had asked them to save from his wrath, from both running away and landing clean hits. Clark called me to ask what was going on and I filled him in of course, but as I assessed the situation I decided that since this was NOT a direct machination of the Great Darkness-I might as well outsource this one. Clark came in like a bolt from the blue, intercepting Orion with the typical level of mogging he tended to exert on the gods of New Genesis merely by existing. "Alright, that's enough. I know you're better than this" he snapped at Orion. "and I KNOW this isn't how you do things on New Genesis, so how about we sit down and talk this out before I call child protection services?" "HA! I'd like to see you try, Last Son of Krypton!" he shouted, decking Clark upside the head. "You may be a hero, but you're no warrior! Highfather DEMANDS this baby die-" "Look, even he's done with that" I interrupted "-and I'M THE MAN HARD ENOUGH TO DO IT!" Clark traded a look with me. "...you're right, Orion. I'm not. I've fought to save people, but I didn't do this because I LIKE fighting. You know who does, though?" he said, a small grin slowly appearing as he pondered who I'd called in a favour to deal with this. "This guy right behind you" "Hey, it's me, Goku!" said Son Goku. "I heard you're really strong!" "Strong? STRONG?! This...blustering mortal thinks himself the equal of the DOG OF WAR!" raged Orion, his bloodthirst for babies reaching unprecedented heights as a spikey-haired grinning man stood in his way. "I am the wielder of the Astro Force! The champion of New Genesis, and the slayer of Darkseid-" "I did that too but I actually finished the job" I interrupted "-SHUT UP, and my battles span GALAXIES! You are NOTHING to me!" Goku's face lit up in a big, honest smile. "Then you're gonna love this!" he shouted, powering up to Mastered Ultra Instinct, and kicking Orion straight out of the stratosphere. ... "Hey, he's coming back right?" asked Goku. "Yeah give him a minute, he needs to get his scooter" said Scott. "Also uh, I-I think you killed him" "Wait, seriously? After all that talk I wasn't expectin' him to be so weak! I could barely sense his powerlevel!" complained Goku. "Yeah, Orion has that effect on people" admitted Clark. "How does Jon put it? Uh...common Orion L"

>>2133 Question: why would you be so cruel as to unleash Goku onto the DC multiverse? What did they do to deserve that?

>>2137 I didn’t purposefully unleash Goku _specifically_, but the ongoing collapse of Jumpchain as a concept in my chain is a side effect of my goal to use Aschente magic/Phenomena Affirmation/the unironic power of God and Anime to combine all realities into one super-reality under my rule. Which, following the principles of Perpetua’s Crisis Energy generation scheme, will give me additional power for blowing up Azathoth. As a side effect of all that, random characters like Goku are just kind of wandering through DC right now and I am occasionally handing out sidequests to them. Like bullying Orion.

This is a semi-experimental chain wherein I talk about my jumper in each Pokemon game as through I were a youtuber doing a character analysis and or a lore dive. If anyone wants to suggest points for me to talk about or ways for me to be painful for the player to deal with, that'd be great. Pokemon Trainer +1000 Kanto Age:14 Male Small Town Actual Starter (Bulbasaur) Physical Fitness Survival Training 100/900 Freerunning 100/800 Mechanic 150/650 Aura 300/350 50k Pokedollars 50/300 Wingsuit 50/250 Bicycle 50/200 Hypervisor 200/000 Pokemon Red & Blue +1000 Human Rookie Trainer ... Smell Ya Later Road to Victory 100/900 Badge Benefits 200/700 I Already Caught 40 Kinds, Pal 200/500 Champ In The Making 300/200 I Must Say, I Am Impressed You Got Here 100/100 Bag Trainer ID and Badge Case Pokedex Beginners Alloweance Beginners Item Set Jumper's Beach 100/000 Your Starter (Import, Bulbasaur) Black Metal Bulbasaur +600 Marketable Monster Fighting For Fun Secret Techniques 100/500 Counter Cloning 200/300 Partner Pokemon 300/000 Hello everyone and welcome back to my deep dive into Pokemon lore. Today we'll be starting off a series covering one of the more annoying characters in the franchise - Faru, or as it was translated into english, Jumper.

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Now, as you know, there are two ways of getting a Pokemon into your Pokeddex - or from another perspective, two levels. Seen, and caught. If you see a trainer use a Pokemon, well, that counts, and you usually get a hint as to where the thing shows up if you check their entry. Catching them is entirely different, however. Especially in the case of starters, where you get one per game. Naturally, your rival takes another, so that's one evo line covered, but the third often goes unclaimed. This leads into a little known fun fact about the original Pokemon games - Venusaur? Didn't exist. If you didn't take one for yourself, or your rival didn't, you could not ever see one, let alone catch it. A trainer in Celadon Gym will use both a Bulbasaur and an Ivysaur, and a pair of trainers in Victory Road will use Charizard and Blastoise, but nobody in the entire game other than you and your rival will ever use a Venusaur. This was prooooobably something that want meant to be fixed by the removed battle with Prof Oak, but, well, they removed it. Bye bye our only chance to 'seen' Venusaur. This is where Faru comes in. In the Fire Red and Lead Green remakes, Faru was added as a pseudo-rival who always used the starter pokemon you were weak to. So if you grabbed Charmander and Gary then grabbed Squirtle, Faru would wind up with Bulbasaur. Which, honestly, isn't all that important, but it meant that you had relatively easy access to all three starter pokemon, which fixed the issue. Totally unrelated, there's one Pokemon Trainer in the Sevii Islands who uses a Venusaur and nothing else, but that's way out of the way. Faru is easier. You see his starter fully evolved by the fourth gym. So lets talk about Faru. First off, Faru is first encountered in the Viridian City Pokemon Center. The first time you heal there, he'll enter the building, walk up behind you, and then wait his turn to have his party healed. Standard trainer stuff, all things considered. Probably one of the few times in the series we actually see anyone else USE the Pokemon Center, which is neat to see on screen. As soon as you exit the building and take one step, he follows you out and immediately challenges you to a fight. Literally the only way to ever miss this fight is to never enter this building. Which is... possible, I guess, but why wouldn't you? At this point, we get to see his starting team. The starter you're strong against, and an Eevee. Both level 6. Not great, but not bad either. If you refuse to fight him, then this whole scene replays the next time you enter the building. It gets kinda irritating, honestly, especially if you're wanting to do some grinding before fighting him. Anyways, once he's beaten, he asks if you're doing the gym circuit, and then says he'll probably see you later. And we do. In the Pewter City Pokemon Center, where he's standing off to the side, ready to fight you again. Now, unlike your first battle with him, this is optional. If you don't speak to him, he'll stay put for the entire rest of the game. If you do speak to him, he'll have his starter, an Eevee, and a Pidgey all at level 11. After defeating him in Pewter, he says that he'll see you later once again and then leaves. He is now at the Route 4 Pokemon Center. You get the idea here, every time you beat him he moves to the next center and also levels all of his Pokemon up by five. This means that by the time you meet him in the Pokemon League - and yes, that counts as a Pokemon Center - his team will be level 66, a whole ten levels higher than most of the teams of the actual Elite Four. As a side note, losing to him a few times is actually a fairly important part of a speedrun, and can make or break your attempt. Beating even one or two of his Pokemon gives great EXP, and since the battle takes place inside a Pokemon Center the downtime to make your way back to him is like, five seconds. If you take even a minute to lose to him a few times you could walk away with a handful of extra levels to your name. Oh, and by this point his team is a fully evolved starter, the Eeveelotion that will have an advantage over you - Charizard gets you Vaporeon, Blastoise gets you Jolteon, and Venusaur gets you Flareon - a Pidgeot, a Raichu, and a Gyrados. Only five, and I'll tell you why in a moment. First, however, lets do some math. There are eight badges in the Kanto region, and each town that has a Gym also has a Pokemon Center. In addition, there are three Pokemon Centers outside this formula - Route 4, Route 10, and Lavender Town. And of course, the Pokemon League itself adds up to twelve. Twelve times five is sixty. Sixty plus his original level of six is sixty six, which is his level in the Pokemon League. That said, there aren't twelve Pokemon Centers in Fire Red and Leaf Green - only in Kanto. Lets talk about the Sevii Islands. Shortly after fighting Blaine, Bill will invite you to them. It's a bit of a sidequest. Sometimes fun, sometimes a distraction. Necessary for trading with the other Gen3 games though. If you don't care about that, it's also where Moltres is. Anyways, the important thing is that there are a further seven Pokemon Centers in the Sevii islands - and Faru can be in them. Assuming you beat him in the Cinnabar Center, normally he moves to the Pokemon League, since you already beat him in Viridian. But if you head to the Sevii Islands with Bill, he'll be in two places at once - the Pokemon Leageue, and on One Island. And of course when you beat him on One Island, he moves to Two Island, and so forth. Still at the Pokemon League though. Now, you can only access three of the seven islands right now. The other four have to wait until you become champion. But you might have noticed something. Twelve plus seven is nineteen. Nineteen times five is 95. So, clearly, if you battle Faru in every possible Center, he'll cap out at level 100. Which is kind of wild, as the previous highest level Pokemon you could fight was Red - ie, yourself - in the Gen2 games, with his Pikachu at level 81. But it gets worse. Because Faru doesn't cap out at level one. If you fight him in all seven of the Sevii Island Centers, you'll see him on Seven Island with an entire team of Pokemon at level one hundred and one. That's right. In the first ever game he appeared in, this cheating bastard broke the level cap. To make things worse, his sixth party member? It's Mew. He has a level one hundred and one Mew in his party. The good news is, if you somehow manage to beat him, he gives you said Mew. At level 5. Because fuck us, right? Mind you, this was the only guaranteed way to get a Mew for the better part of the next twenty years. Everything else up until the release of the Sinnoh Remakes was a time limited event, so if you missed those, you were screwed. Or you beat a level 101 trainer to get a level 5 Pokemon. ...Mostly worth it. In later games Faru had a less direct role, but still manages to be a massive pain in the ass.

>>4052 Thanks for the build!

>>4061 You're welcome! I'm probably gonna do Fusions and the new gauntlet next, just to get them out of the way, but expect to see a build for johto and hoenn in the next few days.

>>4068 Any suggestions for how to be a pain in the ass for players in the Johto region?

>>4079 Not particularly. Maybe something to do with the radio?

>>4080 Hmm. Since I’m going to infinite fusions before Johto, maybe I’ll show up with ZapMolCuno to give the players nightmares or something. That was briefly a plotline in the adventures manga, in addition to being a thing in fusions proper.

Pokémon Three Region Randomizer +0 Doors +0 And Doors And Doors +100 And Doors And Doors And Doors +200 Trainers +100 Gym Leaders +100 Item Placement +100 Twice Crowned +100 Manual Moves +100 No Experience +300 Fun From A Stone Excellent Memory Warp Home 100 Horny Nutjob 200 Prima Game Guides Comfy Bed 100 Three Moms And One Dad 100 Tracking Software 200 Options Menu (Perfect Pokeballs) 300 Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire Human Rookie Trainer Braille On The Brain Bicycle Badass Master Contestant 100/900 Multi-Discipline Teacher 100/800 Karma Kid 200/600 On The Frontier 300/300 Best of Both Worlds Bicycle Pokenav 50/250 Key Stone 300/-50 Mega Stone x2 -100 /-150 Your Starter (Import, Bulbasaur) Create, Mudkip 50/-200 Birchlike Bait +200 Bulbasaur and Mudkip +600 Multifaceted Star Contest Moves Cosplay Pokémon 200 Primal Reversion 300 Ribbon Case Contest Costumes Bulbasaur - Secret Power 100 Mudkip - Secret Base Stuff 100

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Now, normally when I do this kind of lore video, I'd start as far back as possible and then touch on that game and it's remakes before moving to the next region - so I'd start with red, blue, green, and yellow, then talk about fire red and leaf green, then the Lets Go games, then shift to Johto. Except this time I didn't start with Red and Blue, I started with Fire Red. So despite Johto being the next region, Ruby and Sapphire are the next games Faru appears in. Oh, and speaking of - in the Lets Go games, Faru has exactly the same role as in Fire Red and Leaf green, minus his appearances in the Sevii Islands on account of those not being in the game. Instead, he levels up every time you beat him at the Pokémon League until he's 101, and then mentions visiting Lorelei - who has her home on Four Island, if you didn't know - and leaves for good. Still gives you his Mew, thankfully. It should be noted, however, that he is still a cheating cheater who cheats, and his Venusaurs stats are significantly higher than they should be. Oh, and it knows five moves. It's not just any Bulbasaur, it's a Partner Bulbasaur. Meanwhile, in Hoenn, Faru is actually a bit character. ...In Ruby and Sapphire. In them, he appears in the contest halls as a npc opponent in master rank contests about a third of the time, using a Bulbasaur. In the first round, he is also hard coded to get one more heart than you get. Thankfully the followup rounds are more fair - well, its master rank, so it's a pain in the ass, but he isn't blatantly cheating any more. After any battle where you beat him, he'll congratulate you and then say that he's the kind of fool who wants to clear every possible contest with one Pokémon. At that point, if the Pokémon you beat him with has a full set of ribbons, he'll give you a level 5 Bulbasaur. Yes, before the national dex. Hell, you can get this before the third gym. It's a massive pain to do, but it's possible. In Emerald, meanwhile, you get to fight him again. Every time you fight a Frontier Brain, win or lose, he shows up in the Battle Frontiers Pokémon Center, ready to fight you the same as he did in Fire Red and Leaf Green. Faru's team is a Venusaur, a max evolved starter that you're strong against, an Eeveelution strong against you, a Gardevoir, a Mawile and either a Breloom, a Pelipper, or a Torkoal. His team starts at 76, and goes up by two levels you have for every silver symbol, and another three when you get the gold one. Which, yes, caps him out at level one hundred and eleven, ten whole ass levels higher than when we last saw him in the Sevii Islands. If you beat him this time, he doesn't give you a damn thing. Just a verbal pat on the back and says you should be proud of yourself. ...Now, there is one other thing to mention, and while this has little to no effect on gameplay, it is interesting. In Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire, there's one other place he can be found. Granite Cave, after beating the Elite Four but before going to the Battle Frontier. In fact, he's standing in almost the same place that Steven was when you delivered the letter to him. If you speak to him, he asks you if you've seen any 'strange stones', to which you can reply with 'Steven?' or 'Stones?'. If you pick the first he laughs and says not that kind of stone. If you pick the other, he says that the stones he's looking for are kind of swirly. In any event, he follows that up with being disappointed that you haven't, and leaves. This scene gives the player nothing, and is entirely missable. But it is interesting for reasons we'll get into in a moment. In Ruby and Saphire, he's in the Contest Halls and Granite Cave. In Emerald, he's in Contest Halls and the Battle Frontier. In the Remakes, he's still in the Contest halls, but Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire don't have a Battle Frontier, not really. Just the tiniest thing to tide us over because they couldn't be bothered to add the full set. In any event, much like Lets Go, he appears in the Battle Frontier Center and levels up every time you beat him, to his ultimate level of 111. That said, he reappears every time you beat the E4, seeing as there are no Frontier Brains for you to fight against or gain symbols from. Before battling you, he tells you not to bother holding back. He then proceeds to field a Mega Venusaur, a Mega Blaziken/Swampert/Sceptile, a Mega Gardevoir, and a Mega Mawile, and uses all four of them. This is the only battle in the entire game wherein the player is allowed to use more than one Mega Evolution, and it's against a guy with four himself. Its also a double battle, because why not. Four Megas on the field at the same time? Sign me up, even if by the rules of the game I genuinely can't match them level for level. It's almost a decent consolation prize for not having a proper Battle Frontier. This is not the last time he'll do something batshit insane like this, and boy I cannot wait to talk about Johto. That said? Time for Sinnoh.

>>4430 Thanks for the build and write-up!

>>4568 Once again, you're welcome. I'm almost ready to post another set, though neither of them are yours this time so sorry about that.

>>4572 Haha, you don't have to apologize for that friend. I'm just happy you are getting some enjoyment out of my work.

Jumper tries to interfere with the plot and makes things worse. Thankfully protag does protag things and the day is saved. Pokemon Harem Master +1000+200 Would Be Trainer Not So Shota After All Champion Throwing Arm All Moms Are Milfs 100/900 Look At What I Found 100/800 Love Em And Leave Em 200/600 Good Things Come To Those Who Wait 300/300 Your New Best Friend Reusable H Ball 300/000 Pokemon Sinnoh +1000 Pokemon Trainer Steadfast Reckless 200/800 Competitive 300/500 Cute Charm Moxie 100/400 Explorers Kit Mysterious Gifts 200/400/0 Pokedex Poketch 100/300 Poketch Company 200/100 Grand Underground+ 500/-400 Companion Import 100/-500 A Bit Behind Schedule +100/-400 Catch Rate Boosted In Rain +200/-200 It Must Be Perfect +200/00 Bulbasaur+Mudkip +600+200 Pressure Synchronize 100/500 Friend Guard 300/200 Cute Charm Adaptability 100/100 Ball Capsule Wardrobe Bulbasaur - Battle Frontier 300/0/0 Mudkip - Pal Park 300/0/0 Actually, I'm sorry. I'm going too fast. Before we talk about Sinnoh, lets talk about something I kind of skipped over. Release dates. Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire were released in late 2002. Fire Red and Leaf green in early 2004, and Emerald in late 2004. I said earlier that Faru was added to FRLG, but the truth is that Ruby and Sapphire came first - and, not gonna lie, I totally forgot about that. That said, I'm still glad I did things in this order, or I wouldn't be able to talk about Kanto until we got to the switch games. And while Faru was in RS as a pain in the ass contest trainer who was nice enough to give you a Bulbasaur, he really took of in FRLG, and then came back with a vengeance in Emerald. Apparently the challenge that he represented was received well enough for them to expand his role in their return to Hoenn and made it even worse. Alright, that out of the way, we can talk about Sinnoh. In late 2006, Diamond and Pearl were released. In late 2008, Platinum. And all the way in the future of late 2021, the remakes. In RS, Faru was a bit character. In FRLG, he was convenient at first and a challenge later. In Emerald, he became the ultimate test of skill. And in Diamond and Pearl, he started to take an interest in the story.

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Well, sort of. See, he's now in the underground. The first time you head down there, you'll bump right into him. He'll claim to be happy to see you, claim you're number 32, and then depart to head to Route 209. Which is to say, he gives you instructions on how to catch Spiritomb. Great guy, isn't he? After catching your own Spiritomb, he'll meet up with you and congratulate you, and then tell you that if you decide you want to battle him, he'll be waiting for you at Spear Pillar. Because, and I quote 'fighting strong trainers on top of mountains is a tradition. Even if I'm not champion right now.' Which, gonna be honest, I would not be surprised if it gets revealed one of these days that Faru was the Kanto Champion at one point. His 101 team is more than enough to sweep the E4 after all. Hell, Hoenn too. Most regions, actually. He's certainly strong enough for it. Also a clever reference to Red, which is always nice to see. Anyways, Faru then mostly disappears from the story up until the final battle with Cyrus at Spear Pillar, where you see him single-handedly holding off Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn using a Venusaur, a Swampert, and a Spiritomb and a Lucario respectively. Unfortunately, Cyrus uses the Red Chain on his team, which knocks them out instantly. He then tries to summon the box legendary, and Faru offers you the option to run away - or rather, to make preparations while he holds them off. Cynthia helpfully mentions that he has no Pokemon left, and Faru just waves her off and says that he can manhandle a legendary for five minutes if it's for the sake of the world. This is absolute bullshit by the way, but there's an explanation. See, he's wearing a blue suit. And he has a Lucario. This isn't perfect or anything, but I think Faru has Aura, like how Riley is supposed to. Which, well, is pretty poorly explained in terms of what it can do, but using the anime and a few move animations as an example, well, I'll believe that he can hold them off for a few minutes. I should also take a moment to point out that, in his battle sprites in the previous games, Faru is fairly youngish looking. Clearly not an adult, but not a youngster either. When we see his battle sprite in Diamond and Pearl, he looks ancient for some reason. No explanation is ever given. Trust me, this is infuriating for us lore nerds. The Sinnoh games, canonically, take place three years after the Kanto and Hoenn games. And as I'll talk about later, more or less at the same time as the Johto games. Those are up soon, and he looks fine there. It's weird and I hate it, but there's gotta be something going on. Anyways, at this point the player battles the controlled Dialga at Cyrus's behest. Immediately after, the lake trio show up to free it, only for things to get even worse. The legendary glows weirdly, changes color, and then fights you again. It's basically the same fight, except they have an extra hundred points to their BST. Not too bad. Afterwards, Cynthia heals you, Cyrus fights you, and then he storms off. Everyone is happy, day saved. But if you talk to Faru before you leave Spear Pillar, he'll apologize and say that now probably isn't a good time for that fight he promised you. If you speak to him again, he'll just say "Was That... Primal?" and then repeat his original line. For those of you who haven't played any of the side games, the colors that Dialga turns are a match for Primal Dialga, the main antagonist of Myster Dungeon Explorers games. Which begs the question, where the hell did Faru see this shit beforehand? Anyways, all of that done, Faru goes back to his old stuff. Once you beat the Elite Four, you can come back and see Faru and the box legendary having a stare off. He steps aside, you fight and catch them, and then he offers you that fight. He now has a Venusaur, a Swampert, Spiritomb, Lucario, the starter you're strong against, and Mew. All at level 70, the same as the legendary you just caught. At this point, he vanishes again until you head to the Battle Frontier and get Palmer's gold Symbol. Once you do that, he's back on top of Spear Pillar with a level 115 team. No beating around the bush this time, this is both the strongest team he's had thus far and the easiest time you've had of fighting him. Except that if you do beat him, he offers to stop holding back. He then fights you with a 120 team, and both his Venusaur and his Swampert glow and turn strange colors. Which, behind the scenes, gives them an extra 100 BST, making them even more painful to fight against. After beating him the second time, he gives you either the Adamant or Lustrous Orb, an item that, when held by the respective legendary, causes them to enter battle as their alternate color palette and with their boosted BST if you have their friendship maxed out. He also has this to say. "This orb belongs to that legendary. The power it drew forth before... it was afraid. You can accomplish things you cant normally when you're afraid. Use this instead. It's safer. Such primal power isn't to be treated trivially. Not with the land or the sea, and especially not with time and space." For the record, this is a massive call forwards to Omega Ruby, wherein Groudon and Kyogre are given Primal Reversion. But, that's the end of things for Diamond and Pearl - and the remakes, for that matter. They're essentially identical copies of the originals, plus a few quality upgrades. Which is both good and bad, but if I ranted about how disapointing Flints team was we'd be here all day. And we're here to talk about Faru, not Flint. Anyways, in Platinum his actions are almost entirely unchanged with the exception that you first meet him in Prof Rowans laboratory as he judges you worthy of keeping your Pokemon. He calls himself an expert on nothing but someone who knows a lot about everything, and gives you a revive and an escape rope before leaving. Fighting him atop Spear Pillar the third time is now a massive pain by the way. He's still level 70 after the E4 and Level 115 after getting a single Gold Symbol, but won't offer to stop holding back until you have all five. His lines after battle are also changed somewhat. "This orb belongs to that legendary. The power it drew forth before... it was afraid. You can accomplish things you cant normally when you're afraid. Use this instead. It's safer. In Hoenn, there is a power known as Primal Reversion. It's something like halfway evolving. It also isn't a toy. Still, if they trust you enough, then I don't see the harm." It's a minor change, but an interesting one. It also gives a name to Groudon and Kyogres new toy in the eventual remakes. Oh, and in the credits for Platinum, we get about a five second scene of Faru cracking his knuckles while standing in front of the box legendary. Apparently the man is entirely willing to throw down and wasn't actually bluffing at all.

Make The Exorcist Fall In Love Origin: Demon Drawbacks: Invite Only +100, Not Used To This +100, You Talk Too Much +100, Where Is Your Tragic Backstory +200, I Am Man's True Nature +200. +700 1700 Perks: The Gates of Gehenna, Possession, Unique Demon, Vessel Preparation -100, Hiding Among The Sheep -100, Witch Contractor -200, Purified Wings -300, Demon Lord (Acedia) -800. -1500 200 Items: Stipend +200, Jumper's Gate of Gehenna, Sabbath -400. -400 0 I was reading a different jump and decided that I wanted to be a hikkiNEET demon again, so I'm recycling this build as a lead up to the build for my next jump. Being a traumatized hikkiNEET archfiend sounds funny, at least. Also traumatizing. Base of Operations: Stipend +1500, Little Base x2 +200, Base Aesthetics (Apartment), District x2 -200, Complex -200, Kitchen -50, Garden -50, Dressing Room -50, Storage Room -50, Plumbing -100, Power -100, Communications -100, Automatons -100, Elves -50, AI -150, Portal x2 -400, Afterlife -100. -1600 0 Taking the Base of Operations as a rather comfortable apartment complex. The rooms all have infinite power, respawning food, fast internet, unlimited water, comfortable clothes, loyal servants, and a very doting AI caretaker to handle the inhabitant's every need. It's also my own personal afterlife, a place epitomizing the sin of Acedia, where none need to do anything but exactly what they want to do Dante's Inferno Origin: Demon Perks: The Sins Make The Man (Acedia), Your Nipples Do What? -100, Guardian of the Circle and the River -200, Hell Has In Fact Frozen Over -300. -600 400 Items: The Snakes Will Have The Last Laugh, A Swarm of Lesser Demons -100, The Jumper Circle of Hell -300. -400 0 This is the jump that I wanted to make a build for. My Base of Operations is going to outright eat my circle of hell, allowing the endless rooms inside of it to automatically fill up with the souls of apathetic sinners, allowing me to passively grow in power while also giving me an ever growing amount of NEETgirls to possibly seduce. Or more realistically to play vidya against. I'm not actually gonna torture them at all though. Torture seems like a good way to break people's apathy and I'll be getting stronger anyways. I'm still one of the more powerful angels, banished to hell for refusing to actually participate in the War. My own form is actually that of a small, frail, albino child. A disarmingly cute one with an aura that drains people's motivation and whose mere appearance saps makes people want to protect me and keep me safe.

>>5020 >Dante's Inferno Okay, but did you fuck Dante’s wife?

>>5289 Is Dante's wife a legal loli hikkiNEET? Otherwise, no.

Colosseum +1000 Trainer Now you’re all set for a real battle! Supreme Snagger CALL 100/900 Black Aura Sight 100/800 Door To Their Heart 200/600 Team Trasher 200/400 Two-Faces 200/200 Cute But Strong 100/100 Cologne Case Snag Machina 100/000 P*DA Your Ride (Hoverbike) Starter Pair (Bulbasaur, Mudkip) Bulbasaur+Mudkip Cute But Strong Pokemon Cry Unsnaggable 100 Permanently Purified 200 Shadow Pokemon 300 Bulbasaur - Sun Shard Mudkip - Moon Shard Pokemon Ranger +1000 Rookie Impeccable Posing Fresh From The Academy Guardian Signs 300/700 TARGET CLEAR!! 200/500 Percussive Maintenance 200/300 Capture Styler Full Upgrade 400/-100 Trainee +100/000 Before we move on to Johto, and boy do I want to talk about Johto, let's take a brief break to talk about some side games. Because, yes, Faru managed to make his way over to some of those as well. Pokemon Colosseum was released in late 2003, a few months before Fire Red and Leaf Green. Gale of Darkness was released in mid-2005. Pokemon Ranger was released in early 2006, Shadows of Almia in early 2008, and Guardian Signs in early 2010. Now, Colosseum was released before Fire Red, which was Faru's big staring role. So sadly, if he was present for things, we don't get to see him. Interestingly, during XD, we do actually see him - specifically, we see him impersonating Wes and using a Snag machine to steal Shadow Pokemon from Team Cipher. Why is he impersonating Wes? "To be honest, I just like the outfit. It looks cool. That and it draws criminals to me like moths to a flame." Which is... well, he's not wrong. We don't know where Wes is or what happened to him, but its safe to assume that Cipher holds a grudge, so tricking them into specifically targeting a guy able to steal their Pokemon is pretty bad for them. And good for us, because he'll give you a Shadow Bulbasaur and a Shadow Mudkip, which is very nice of him. Unfortunately, this is the only time we get to see him, as he disappears into the aether not too much later. But only after convincing Lovrina to quit Cipher, it seems. Now, in the ranger series, we do get to see more from him. Again, in the first game, he's largely absent. There's a single scene near the end of the game where you can see his name on a list of new graduates from ranger academy, but that's all. I mean it's interesting, and it really backs up his prior - or, well, technically future - statement about knowing a lot about a lot, but it isn’t that interesting all things considered. In Shadows, he’s present, seemingly as a member of Altru Inc, though given that he walks into a meeting in the Ranger Union to tell them all about Altru and Dim Sum’s plans, I think it’s safe to say that he’s pulling a Looker and infiltrating them. His partner Pokemon are, as you should guess by this point, a Venusaur and a Swampert, and he’ll let you catch and borrow them at points in the main story to progress.

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In Guardian Signs, however, the man has gone missing. No, really, there are a few internal memos you can read/npcs that you can talk to who tell you that he was assigned to the Oblivia region recently, only to go missing. Looking for Faru is in fact a mission that you can accept fairly early on, but it's functionally impossible to solve until the game is over. Why? Because he’s in Cocona Village. In the past. The mission in the multiplayer area to find him doesn’t unlock until the plot is over, at which point he informs you that he is horrifically lost, but isn’t all that interested in actually going back to the present as he trusts Celebi wouldn’t have brought him here if they didn’t need the help. He then serves as a pseudo-multiplayer partner that you can recruit for the multiplayer missions, which is a big help. Unlike almost every other game in the series, Faru’s doesn’t use a Venusaur or a Swampert as his Partner Pokemon. Instead, he has a Grovyle, a Dusknoir, and Celebi itself. In addition, he’ll also make a handful of witty comments after clearing each mission, my favorite of which is “Celebi has a bad record with people in iron masks”. In short, Faru is dropping memes left and right in this game, what with his team being from Mystery Dungeon and him talking about the Iron Masked Marauder. After clearing all of the multiplayer levels - or clearing at least one level with him, if you’ve already cleared them all beforehand because you’re a weirdo who actually has friends to play these levels with - Celebi pops up to take you all back to the present… but when you arrive, Faru is nowhere to be seen. Still, this closes out the mission to look for him, so target clear I suppose?

>>5407 Thanks for the build and write-up!

>>5411 You're welcome. Next up, infinite fusions and johto. I'm going to make the players rage with Zapmolcuno in a mainline game.

>>5407 Why that and not the Beasts? I haven't' played Fusions, is it important to that game specifcally?

>>5414 >>5412 Oops, missed.

>>5414 Because of Thu-Fi-Zer. Calling Zapmolcuno canon is probably a bit of a stretch since it's manga only and the main pokemon canon is either the games or the anime, but triple fusion, specifically of the birds, is something that nintendo played around with at one point. Basically I'm screwing with the audience by using a pokemon that only exists in the manga while making references to the anime.

>>5412 Ah, I see. I haven't read much of the manga.

>>5421 You should read it. And then make a jump for it, obviously. It gets wild at some points. Like, all of the Kanto Gym Leaders work for team rocket, lance nukes a city iirc, and I think the unova elite four get crucified or something?

>>5423 I think it will be a while before I'm looking for more jump suggestions but I will keep it in mind.

>>5426 Consider the following. You can visit the anime jump to get bratty womanchild sabrina You can visit the game jumps to get cool big sis movie star sabrina You should enable us to visit the manga to get mafia sabrina.

>>5428 I can't do everything at once.

>>5428 You can also visit that Pokemon Master jump to get the mindless incarnate force of destruction Sabrina that may or may not still have the womanchild version buried under layers of trauma and eldritch elemental influence from being a Type Master. While she's barely touched on in the fic (mostly because Lorelei/Prima was the one being given the role of frontline antagonist for that part), she should by all rights be capable of flattening mountains considering this is the same girl who's somewhat unrestrained toddler self all but leveled an entire mansion, and that was presumably before she got hopped up on elemental grimderp. >spoiler Friendly reminder to make sure to visit the original R/G/B games with the Gen 1 jump if you want the not-so-secret dojo domming Sabrina who's due to mellow out soon, since she's one of the trainers who kept the whip from the beta version's carrot and stick approach to pokemon training (JP's version goes more like "candy and whip" in literal translation, which explains that one sprite with the lollipop, but both terms are meant to convey the reward and punishment methods of conditioning).

>>5910 Unfortunately I already went to the Kanto jump and all I grabbed companionwise was my Bulbasaur. I'll keep batshit insane Sabrina in mind for when I do Masters.

>>6112 Pokemon Master (fanfic, and a /tg/ jump) and Pokemon Masters (gacha; currently outdated reddit jump) are two very different things. Though on that note, Masters' Sabrina is another interesting localization case where much like Hex, the English version is markedly different than the Japanese version. English dub has her as the cool cucumber with minor dommy vibes because they leaned into the bending of spoons and other things such as wills. Japanese version is just very self-assured because her predictions are (almost) always right. Her New Years alt seems to be more in line with the latter since while she's still pretty reserved she's at least experiencing emotions externally. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K5UDL_O_J0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp0kVaxEfCU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS2Z2gqcbzI Also, Masters' Erika is smol. Also discovered that according to the mostly size accurate figurine line, FR/LG Sabrina was actually pretty short since she's both wearing relatively flat boots compared to Erika's raised sandals and presumably about to achieve liftoff with her telekinesis similar to her Gen 4 animation. Though it's genuinely funnier if you go with some crackfic fanon like she was legit standing on her tiptoes under her own physical power in hopes of appearing more intimidating to Red/Leaf.

>>6408 I forgot masters the game existed, actually. I meant master the fanfic. >spoiler cute

The poster below is Nyarlathotep's husbando

>>8984 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoPWALM2riQ

>>1247 I have updated my first Jump and the supplements used thereon. All else is the same. I basically didn't want to keep "Beta_Bitch" due to the wording used. >"or has you vulnerable" >"abuse or humiliate" I don't want to tempt people not potentially needed to be tempted, "abuse" is too broad, and I frankly have too strong a personality to not push back on humiliation. Luckily, I found another Jump I can use to supplement and get a similar but less strong perk with. Also, I don't take Drawbacks. I did on my many original Chains, but I min-max to fucking hell, and it removes any enjoyment because I won't put myself into situations I can't account for, thus I spend ages searching for counters. I know there's a Drawback that's basically free if you take it first Jump in World of Futadom, and I don't care. Not looking, la-la-la, can't hear you. Hypno App Fantasia is still my next Jump. >--- --- --- World of Futadom >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, Neutral_Country, Non-Futa (+100) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): N/A, N/A, N/A (N/A) >Power List: Talent_or_Skill?, Natural_Looks, Polygonal_Relationships, Slave_Husbandry, Binding_is_Love, Aggressive_Courtship, Gender_Bending / Fuckable_Meat, Situational_Awareness, Loyal_Lovers, Naturally_Resistant, Conquered_Gently >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Fancy_Toy (Dildo) / Baits_and_Shrouds, Allowance_Card >Companion List: Anti-Territorial_Spouse, [Futa_Slave, Pls_Help] >Scenario/Drawback List: Futa_Physics, Futadom_Worlds, Futa_Pheromones, Wincest, Futa-Centric_Culture, Progressive_Technology, Demographic_Control / Supplement_Mode (Casual_Sex_World) >Future: N/A >--- Generic Incest >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, Combine (Casual_Sex_World), The_Little_One >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age):

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N/A, N/A, 16 (N/A) >Power List: Taboo_Tales / Tea_Parties, What_Are_We_Gonna_Do_On_the_Bed?, Momma’s_Boy >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Pantsu >Companion List: Family_Builder (X2) (G_I_1 (Mom) (The_Caretaker / Human / Female / 32 / Taboo_Tales, Habsburg-Be-Gone, My_Little_Sister_Can’t_Be_This_Cute! / Domestic_Monarch, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Domestic_Treasure / Just_a_Dream), G_I_2 (Anti-Territorial_Spouse) (Wife) (The_Breadwinner / Human / Futanari / 35 / Taboo_Tales / If_Every_Pork_Chop_Were_Perfect, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit, Happy_Inheritance, Home_Sweet_Home (300CP) / Work_Clothes / Just_a_Dream)) >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: N/A >--- Casual Sex World >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): [November 5, 2007], Earth_History (Modern_Earth), Drop-In (Kinky (Dirty_Fantasy)) (N/A) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): Human, Female, N/A (N/A) >Power List: Safe_Day, Clean_as_a_Whistle, Casual_Pregnancy / Work_Relations, Hollywood / Exotic_Beauty, Trends_of_the_Era, Alpha_(Fe)Male >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Passport / Bucket_List >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: You_Keep_Going

>>9647 Hmm. I think I'm gonna switch my second Generic Incest Companion back to a generic female, but instead be Mom's_Sister instead of my Adoptive_Mom. Twofold, I think any World of Futadom's futanari would likely be nerfed by Generic Incest's mandatory Companion Drawback, and because I don't want to create two people and potentially have one (the Mom in this case) have a harder life for no reason. Now, they should have no problem living together. As such, I'm dropping the Anti-Territorial_Spouse, but keeping [Futa_Slave, Pls_Help] because I can pay for her with the Allowance_Card. I thought about switching the Anti-Territorial_Spouse to a woman, but I want to set the Casual Sex World in November 5, 2007 to test how powerful Trends_of_the_Era ends up being if used as much as possible (and everyone knows 2007 is when things went to shit, a year before the election), and I don't want to take Non-Existent_Taboo. Basically, gay marriage wouldn't be legal yet, and World of Futadom has enough toggles to clear somethings but not others, and I don't want to make the world too unbearably lewd. Allowance_Card should allow me to live on my own and or furnish my Cosmic Warehouse, and so I can just not live with my family after awhile to avoid any potentially non-futanari, societal incest taboos if the toggles aren't enough to clear those.

>>1070 My body has decided to violently object to sleeping right now, so I suppose I'm chainwriting. Jump 42: Hollow Knight - Voidheart Species: Voidborn -100 CP Origin: Hollow Vessel Starting Location: Ancient Basin Perks >SOUL -Free >Higher Being -600 CP >Essential Emptiness -600 CP >Science of the SOUL -400 CP >An Empty Vessel -Free >A Vast Darkness -200 CP >Lord of Shades -300 CP >Charming -200 CP Items >A Nail (WitchDriver Imported) -Free >Dream Nail (WitchDriver Imported) -100 CP Drawbacks >Pain In The Aspid +200 CP >Ghostless +300 CP >Precious Mind +300 CP >Hunted +300 CP >Infected +400 CP Basic idea: Jumper enters this world with a lot of heavy thoughts about the nature of benevolence and tyranny as well as the sheer weight of her own power pushing her towards being a ruler. Almost immediately her mind and soul are under assault by the Radiance, but Jumper's will and AI nature means she can near-effortlessly resist it-but that only means that the Radiance starts taking the path of diplomacy in an attempt to convert Jumper. Jumper ends up using Deep Night to basically Take the Radiance, turning her into an eternal slave to the Abyss, but this only ensures that the Radiance continues to yammer in her ear for the entire decade that Jumper is in Hallownest. Out of nothing better to do, Jumper spends her time restoring Hallownest, exploring the powers of the Abyss, learning skills to wield her Deep Night that make it more and more like Sword Logic, and discussing the nature of benevolence and tyranny with the Radiance.

A Thousand Li Origin: Small Town, M, 18 Perks: Body Cleansing 1, Supporting Occupations (Apothecary, Herb Gathering, Herb Farming), Monk, Clear-Headed, Enlightenment -200, Blessed By The Heavens -200, Genius Cultivator -300. -700 300 Items: Mundane Weapon, Chi Gathering Jade, True World Spirit Ring -300 0 I've been steadily working through this book series since HDMAnon posted his wip for it, and I'm up to book six so far. It's been pretty good, except for Book 3. The local cultivation system is actually pretty weak, though the jump assures me that the strongest beings can reshape the geography of countries if they fight each other. Still, the True World Spirit Ring is a new personal favourite item I'm planning on being a wandering cultivator. It's a rather dangerous path that means I won't really be able to make many friends or trust people, forcing me to have to make a living off of selling herbs gathered from far off places, kludging together an actual cultivation style from manuals purchased from small town booksellers and earned from the public areas of sect libraries, and most likely relying on the basic bitch Yellow Emperor style that everyone has, as my main cultivation style But it's a path that calls to me. Just roaming the world, making a living however I see fit. I have enough talent and luck to make it work for me too, between Enlightenment, Blessed By The Heavens, and Genius Cultivator. The hardest part of the journey will actually be the start of the jump, when I'm a peasant that's just barely a cultivator, unable to use my True World Spirit Ring at all and having to work most of the day to make a living. I'll have to get a couple enlightenments to get strong enough to set off on my own. I'd preferably wait until I hit Energy Storage so I can actually use my ring.

>>13856 I had a different chain idea hit the instant I hit post and had to kludge it together really quick. >MtG Throne of Eldraine >Origin: The Realm, Human >Perks: Mighty Carver, Into The Wilds, Charming Noble -100, Paladin -100, Knight of Vantrus -200, Loremage -200. -600 400 >Items: Weapon Rack, Lucky Clover, Idyllic Grange -100, Arcane Signet -300. -400 0 I'm here for the Arcane Signet, an intelligent ring that desires knowledge to increase it's wisdom, capable of creating mirror forged duplicates of spells and creatures using mana it collects from the world as a form of self defense. I'm a pure researcher, lacking in magical skill or martial might, but possessing an immense amount of general knowledge of this world, and my own personal place out in the wilderness. I'll be rather busy while I'm here, as skilled scholars are surprisingly in demand. >The Lord of The Rings (SkyrimAnon) >Origin: Humble Adventurer, Good, Human, M, "19" >Drawbacks: The Eagle Express (Not) +100 1100 >Perks: Song and Dance, Essays to the Craft -600, Jumper The Brave. -600 500 >Items: Barad Curunirva (Importing Idyllic Grange) -100, Ruling Ring (Importing Arcane Signet) -400. -500 0 Second is a trip to Lord of the Rings, to turn my Signet into my Ruling Ring, ensuring it'll always be loyal to me. I'm also upgrading my Idyllic Grange into a proper wizard's tower, full of lore that my Ring is going to be all too happy for us to study. I'm planning on trying to find my way to an elven settlement while I'm here, seeking out their own histories and lore instead of studying what I have in my Tower. I can study my tower's lore whenever, I won't be able to study elven lore once I leave. It's going to take absolute ages though, Middle Earth is large and I'm stuck on foot. >Sword and Sorcery >Origin: Thief >Drawbacks: A Selfish World +100, A Cruel World +100, The Only Thing You Keep +100, The Nail That Sticks Up +200, Branded and Shamed +200, Tarnished In Spirit +200, To Live In Interesting Times +200. +1100 2100 >Perks: Grand Orchestra, The Trade of Thieves, The Charm of Rogues. >Items: A Small Purse, A Series of Stories, A Thief's Satchel, Thief's Tools, An Odd Ring (Importing Arcane Signet) -200, Open Sesame (Importing Idyllic Grange) -300. -500 1600 >Companions: A Devoted Host (Ringbound Djinn) x8 -1600 0 Next is Sword and Sorcery to gain a bunch of loyal lesser Djinn attached to my Ring and to turn my Idyllic Grange into a strange pocket dimension that I can access through using a password on any rock-face. My lesser djinn look like lolis, of course. I had to take a bunch of drawbacks that made this setting pretty awful to afford all eight purchases of A Devoted Host, so I'm mostly going to try to stay in my tower, ignoring the world as much as I can. I'll still have bullshit come my way, but I can just throw my Djinn at whatever happens, then escape in the chaos. The Tarnished In Spirit drawback is making me into an amoral coward >Atelier Arland >Origin: New Immigrant >Drawbacks: Alchemy Sucks +100, Short of Change +100, Joy To The World +200, Pressed For Time +200. +600 1600 >Perks: Time Management >Items: Herb Garden, Glow Grass -50, Winding Grass -50, Fertilized Fields -50, Forest Spirit x5 -250, Natural Purifier -100, Gravistone -100, Sparkling Pool -100, Fairy World Tree -300, World Spirit -300, Overgrow -300. -1600 0 Atelier Arland is next, for the Garden item. I'm planning on merging it into my Idyllic Grange post-jump, making it into an absolutely wonderful place to grow plants. Also making it a bit annoying to navigate, as the World Spirit will happily remodel the place to better grow the plants For now I'm actually going to be putting my scholarly skills to use, rather quickly getting a reputation as being a flaky but knowledgable scholar, who can't be trusted to ever show up on time but who almost always has the ability to answer whatever question is asked of them.

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>A Thousand Li >Origin: Wilderness, M, 18 >Drawbacks: Dirty Peasant +100, Poor Social Skills +200, Poor +200. +500 1500 >Perks: Body Cleansing 1, Supporting Occupations (Apothecary, Herb Gathering, Herb Farming), Monk, Clear-Headed, Enlightenment -200, Luck of the Heavens -200, Genius Cultivator -300. -700 900 >Items: Body Cleansing Pill, True World Spirit Ring (Importing Arcane Signet, Idyllic Grange) -300, Tier 3 Library (Importing Barad Curunirva) -600. -900 0 Finally, there's A Thousand Li. I'm merging the pocket dimension my Tower is in with my True World Spirit Ring's pocket dimension and combining my Arcane Signet with it too. This actually means my Arcane Signet can read all on it's own, as it can now sense the world inside of itself. It'll also give him the ability to actively direct me and my lesser djinn while we're in my ring, so we won't get lost when the World Spirit reshapes the land I'm also getting another bunch of lore, this time cultivation manuals. I'm going to be having my Djinn pick up a bunch of trades now that I have guides on how to do a bunch of them. I've basically got an entire small xianxia sect on my finger They won't amount to much though. They're notable for their loyalty, not their power. The initial three will eventually hit Peak Core Formation but the rest will cap out at Peak Energy Storage I'm still planning on taking on the role of being a wandering cultivator, this time because I legitimately can't trust anyone here due to the sheer power of my Ring. The safest option is to just not use my ring at all while I'm here, and having my Djinn spread out across the land collecting resources while not interacting with me.

>>13856 Nice build >>13859 Hey, psst! Can I interest you in another ring of mine? >The song of the Nibelungs The Ring -600 Alberich's/Andvari's ring, the ring Andvaranaut, Andvari’s loom. This ring, forged by great hands out of the purest gold, possibly while sacrificing their ability to love or be loved, will lead to your wealth constantly increasing. You will find hidden gold and treasures and fate itself will twist and turn leading you to become ever richer. Even those around you will feel an ever growing compulsion to help you grow richer all while increasing their willingness to “be bought”. Should this ring be taken from you or held by someone who isn’t you it will lead every consecutive owner to be completely consumed by their own greed. They will be driven insane, constantly worrying about the safety of the ring and ultimately die a violent death, most often caused by others coveting the ring. Not even the gods would be safe from this curse

>>16083 It's a really nice ring, but endlessly growing wealth doesn't really interest me. Of the rings from your jumps, I think I'd prefer going with a combination of the Ring of Assistance from Dietrich Von Bern, Draupnir from Norse Myth, and the Grimnoir Ring from the Grimnoir Chronicles, allowing me to set up a communications and transport network The Ring of Hair from Krabat would be a pretty nice thing to have too. Doubled willpower and magical power is rather nice in a xianxia setting

>>16083 >The Grimnoir Chronicles >Origin: Grimnoir >Drawbacks: Old +100, Trust Issues +100, Racism +100, Revenge +200, Hunted x3 +900, Traitors +300. +1700 2700 >Perks: Basic Spell Skills, Great Shot, Autodidact -200, Fast Mind -300, Immortality -400, Master Wizard -600. -1500 1200 >Items: Spell of Power -600, Grimnoir Ring. -600 600 >Magic: Connection to the Power, Massive Reserves -200, Mastery -100, Powerful -300, Brute. -600 0 Looking through your jumps for rings made me wanna do a quick chain, starting with the Grimnoir Chronicles. I'm an old immortal with a lot of trust issues due to decades of being stabbed in the back by basically everyone I've ever trusted, being actively hunted by multiple large organizations. But I'm an immensely powerful magic user too, albeit limited to just breaking everything with sheer physical force. >Krabat >Origin: The Master, M, 43. -300 700 >Drawbacks: Stuck In The 18th Century +300, Broken Contract +300. +600 1300 >Perks: Magic, Imposing, Remember That I Am Your Master -100, Sacrificial Lamb -200, Do We Have A Deal? -300. -600 700 >Items: Ring of Hair (Importing Grimnoir Ring) -200, Koraktor -500. -700 0 Next up is Krabat, where I managed to avoid having to complete anymore sacrifices through betrayal, losing my magical knowledge in the process but managing to secret away the Koraktor itself to learn from. >Norse Myth >Origin: Mortal, M >Drawbcks: Vassal +100, Easily Made Promises +100, Wrath +100, Arrogance +200, Hubris +200. +700 1700 >Perks: Cutting The Thread -500, Hard to Kill -500, Scary Aspect, Fearless, Seer -100, Allfather -600. -1700 >Items: Food Tasting Knife, Draupnir (Importing Ring of Hair) Third is Norse Myth, to gain the ancient secrets of runic magics and to enchant my Ring of Hair so that it can produce more rings over time. I'm a very very clear villain archtype, an easily angered spellcaster working for a king, known for my immense arrogance and hubris. Arrogance and hubris backed up by a frankly immense amount of magical power, a life that's very difficult to take, the ability to ignore the threads of fate itself, and enough physical power to give pause to even the heroes of this time >Dietrich Von Bern >Origin: The King, M. -100 900 >Perks: Common Tongue, Noble, Courtly Conduct, Royal Bearing, Good Relations -100, Leader -100, Wealth -200, Free From Treason -200. -600 300 >Items: Ring of Assistance (Importing Ring of Hair) -100, Ring of Love (Importing Ring of Hair) -200. -300 0 Grabbing a couple more rings to add to my Ring of Hair. The Ring of Love, so that all those who I give my ring to will fall under my thrall, and the Ring of Assistance so that I may call my thralls to my side in times of need. Narrative convention declared that I should not have succeeded in becoming a king, but the fates have very little sway over me, and I managed to become a king. Only to find out that being a king is surprisingly peaceful? My peasants somehow like me and my advisors are surprisingly okay with the fact that I got the throne through betrayal and murder. My original idea was to spread around rings to force people to love me above all others, so I can have people I actually trust to not backstab me. But... I'm not a total asshole. I don't want to mindrape people and I can't justify doing it to people that don't betray me first. So I'm just stuck trying to manage being an actual king. It's going to suck so much. Being a king does offer a lot of power, but I've got trust issues big enough that I can't just leave my advisors to manage the kingdom, so I'll be stuck spending most of my time actually doing bureaucracy the entire jump, having almost no time to further my magical studies. My next four builds are the Lord of the Rings, Sword and Sorcery, Atelier Arland, and A Thousand Li builds from up here >>13859

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My time in Lord of the Rings is dedicated entirely to study, hopefully catching up on the near two decades of magic practice and study I lost while becoming and then being a king. My time in Sword and Sorcery is mostly about learning how to actually trust people again, through the constant aid of my horde of adorable servants. Atelier Arland is just an extended vacation, as my servants convinced me that it's okay to just relax and I decided to overdo things and become a flaky person that just wanders wherever and does whatever whenever. My time in A Thousand Li is going to be dedicated to cultivation until I hit Core, followed by travelling around trying to get the ecosystem in my True World Spirit Ring up to a sustainable state. I don't have any interest in becoming an Immortal since I'm already immortal, I just want to get strong enough to fuel the growth of my True World Spirit Ring, and to set things up to ensure the growth stays smooth in the future. >Children of the Lamp >Origin: Human, M, 9 +200 1200 >Perks: Perfect Memories -200, Big Brained -200, Subconscious Control -200, Third Eye -300, Enlightenment -300. -1200 0 >Items: Money, Lamp (Importing Ring of Hair), Magnum Opus, Skeleton Key Finally, I'm retiring in Children of the Lamp. I don't have much of a reason to actually continue a chain, and my ring has everything I could want. Hundreds of friendly immortals, lots of place to do things, all kinds of modern amenities, a loyal genius loci that handles most tasks for me. ... Also I can't think of a place to actually go next

>>16305 >It's a really nice ring, but endlessly growing wealth doesn't really interest me. See gif related You can just BUY herbs and plants and cores (as fertilizer) etc for your garden world Thanks for the builds Didn't realize that I had that many rings on offer. The ring of hair from Krabat is my personal favorite item ever. My main chain is a literal SI chain and the ring is woven from the hairs of my irl wife and daughter.

>>16336 >You can just BUY herbs and plants and cores (as fertilizer) etc for your garden world Well, yeah. But the only herbs available outright are the kind that the various gatherers think would sell, and sending them off into the wilderness to collect whatever they happen to find would be very expensive. Flaunting wealth in a xianxia is never a good idea anyways. It's inexplicably much easier and safer to harvest stuff all on my own >My main chain is a literal SI chain and the ring is woven from the hairs of my irl wife and daughter. Huh, that's adorable. I approve

>>19042 >>19044 Relevant to chain writing but horny enough to go in the horny thread rather than here, the start of a victim girls chain set in dead or alive. And also goatchain, because someone asked me to post that >>19046

[Fallen London redux] Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/93852798/#93858613 I did not sleep. My insectile body, it's whirring brass suns and symbionts of metal and wire, did not suffer the weakness of requiring dormancy. But in the brief yet precious timespan where I was in love, I indulged in the act simply to be close to indulge my beloved's curiosity. Warmth fades but the bellows of the internal cavity automates, as the body saves itself from excess apoptosis she whispered like crackling candlelight. "A comically inefficient process, isn't it?" I said, caressing her light. "And yet. It is moments like this, on the cusp of survival and genesis, that define mortals" Things happen on edges. Gradients transfer sustenance and waste she whispered, as talons clicked almost inaudibly on my rooftop. "It is the bleak and inevitable adaptation of a delicate system to entropy. Take for example, the Curator about to sneaking into our house" I said, raising the proxy body in our bed and cricking it's neck. "I'm just going out for a while. I won't be long" Mr. Hearts was about to steal one of my eggs when my hand abandoned it's pretence of humanity and clamped on it with the viciousness of an insect claw and the inexorable might of a machine clamp. "That's MY egg you're stealing" I said reproachfully. "It most certainly is not! GIVE!" screeched Hearts. "No" "GIVE IT HERE!" it howled, yanking the egg. "You may not have this egg" I said, yanking it back. "Why do you even need these things?!" "It is the principle of the matter" "They are NOT uncommon during Whitsun, just, just get another one!" "You get another one" "I am on a SCHEDULE, the Tragedy Proceedings-" I ran out of patience, and started wielding my various treasure. Signalling to my distant moon miser-human hybrid ally, I blinded Hearts with a sudden flare of distant light amplified through a strategically concave window in my manor. Then I bonked it on the snout with my starlight crown. Then I had the shard of Mr. Mirrors restrain him briefly through a mirror. And THEN Curator Veils crashed through the rafters and pinned him to the ground. Amidst all this, I caught the egg smoothly even as Hearts flailed around. "Parlay! PARLAY!" it squealed. "I-I did not come here idly, delicious friend! E-erm, don't get any ideas Veils" it added hastily as Curator Veils started drooling on it. "I am trying to expedite a contingency for the Stone Pigs' restlessness. Or long term immobility. You were involved with the University's pig incident, correct? You understand the enormity of what lies beneath" "I have contingencies of my own. I would have assisted if you just respected London's pretence of private property law, you know" I said, picking Hearts up and dusting it off as my pet backed away, snarling. "Yes well, do forgive this little mishap. Instinct is a difficult leash to break" it muttered. The Curator identifying as Mr. Hearts and I proceeded to go to a horrified butcher under it's employ, where it proudly showed me it's contraption for disassembling eggs into one super-egg. And it's mining shaft leading to Stone Pig biomass, which was apparently applied to the eggs during the gruesome Frankenstein's Monster-like egg fusion. I pointed out that nothing good could possibly come of inflicting long term physical trauma to a spacefaring symbiont right under our feet. It pointed out that was a problem for future Tragedy Proceedings. "So you're after something delicious AND spacefaring" I said, after several experiments.

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"Quite" "Well to be blunt, you're doomed. This is not the High Wilderness, and you do not have the resources here for the standard templates of spacefaring life. The Great Chain binds organic life too heavily for your goal" "Necessity is the mother of invention! And pessimism, it's poison" rambled Hearts, adjusting the pistons and claws of it's instrument. "Fortunately for us both" I said, withdrawing my collection of stone-tentacle keys and my consonant violin, "I happen to have some experience with shattering those limits" "Ah, yes. How IS the Youthful Naturalist these days?" "He will never die. He never even sleeps these days" After cracked and reforming seven more eggs (the butcher had passed out long ago), Hearts inserted the keys at specific points in the newly formed egg while I started playing the kind of music Hell's princes would have found acceptable. With great care and finesse, the entire building was only lightly singed, not actually set alight. The egg glowed from within with flashes of Correspoindence, then split apart to reveal a hybrid of boar and asteroid. It's eyes glowed the red of dying stars. It's basalt fur was a luminous white. It's tusks shone with gleaming gold. "At last! The optimal mixture of propulsion and nutrition!" squealed Hearts, embracing the creature. It did not roar in protest, try to gore him or even acknowledge the Curator's grasp. It simply started vibrating like a rocket about to take off. "An unqualified success. There's just one problem" "Do tell" "How" I said, gesturing at the blue fire coming out of it's ass, "are you actually going to restrain what is for all intents and purposes a miniature Stone Pig" Mr. Hearts blinked. It stared at the boar, which was slowly levitating through sheer rage. "Ah. Erm. I seem to have underestimated the soporific doses required. G-good piggy?" Then Mr. Hearts said nothing except screaming, as the Stone Piglet we had created blasted through the ceiling, up towards the Roof, shedding Hearts like a battered parachute along the way, leaving a trail of incendiary pig propellant across London's skies and later reported to crash straight into Zenith, knocking free many Apocrypha in the pig's instinctive migration towards the sunless skies.

Posting the chain I had people suggest jumps for here. Don't expect anything about the chain to be at all interesting or engaging, though - you have been warned. Companions & Followers; >I have 0 companion slots. >Companions and Followers may enter a setting at full power without needing to be imported. >When I buy them, I may define the details of followers and companions which aren't set by their source option. >Between jumps, I may individually reset the ages of my companions and followers to what they were when I first met them. >Companions respawn between jumps if they happen to die. >I may use multiple companion options on the same companion. >I may use companion options to create followers. >Followers are treated as items. Items; >My fiat-backed items respawn, return, repair, and resupply after a week unless this would normally happen faster. >Between jumps, I may freely combine, separate, and recombine fiat-backed items that are similar-enough. >At the start of each jump, I may put fiat-backed items out of play for the duration of the jump. Points; >I may ignore drawback limits. >I may select my age, sex, and location for free within the limits of the jump. Restrictions; >I may only choose to Continue. >I must always drop-in. If there isn't a choice to drop-in, I may treat any origin as a drop-in origin. >While I can choose my destinations, the pool of choices must be filled with suggestions from others. To jumper, this manifests as having a pool of seemingly random destinations that expands without pattern or reason. Supplements; >Core: Lewdmage Lewdmage; Enhancements: Crystalized, Interface, Spark Mana[-150]: Pool, Trickle, Spell Specialization x3[*](-150) Spellcasting[-500]: Aesthetics, Components(-50), Control, Duration, Intensity, Targeting(-300), Parallel Casting(-50), Program(-100) L0 Spells: Clean*, Detect Magic, Porn Physics, Scroll, Sustain*, Translate* L1 Spells[-00]: Alter Details, Alter Fertility L2 Spells[-50]: Alter Age, Alter Fetishes(-50) L3 Spells[-100]: Cure, Enslave(-100) L4 Spells[-200]: Apprentice, Bind Focus(-200) Total: 1000-1000 1: DearS; Origin: Student (Drop-In) Age/Sex: 12/Male Perks[-600]: Good Grades, I'm Her Master!(-300), Five Minute Language Learning(-100), Perfect Slave(-200) Items[-400]: Unlimited Porn(-100), House(-200), Sexy Clothing(-100) Companions[-0]: Mrs. Yoshimine Total: 1000-1000 ~ Writeup; >Awakening to my nature as a Lewdmage, I found myself saddled with a seemingly random pool of destinations to choose from. At least I had a choice, and one of those choices was a rather safe option to start off with that included a canon waifu who was on my list - DearS. >I found myself dropping into the city where the plot would soon play out, appearing in the home of the free canon follower I'd elected to acquire: Yoshimine Mitsuka, the pervy and comedically unfulfilled homeroom teacher to the protagonists. I was quick to ensnare here with Enslave, turning her into my willing and enthusiastic slave, and to twist her tastes with Alter Fetishes so that I'd be the prime focus of her (frankly overwhelming) libido. Applying Spell Specialization to Sustain was a good idea, in hind sight. >From there I got to enjoy a decade of age-gap “romance” and intimacy while watching this silly variant of modern Earth deal with the knock-on effects of first contact. >On the way into my next jump, I spent the Lewdmage points I got for making it through this jump on Bolt and another purchase of Spell Specialization keyed to it for future combat situations. This turned out to be another incidentally great idea for the potential interactions with Parallel Casting, though I'd have to experiment to find out if the results would be as insane as my expectations.

>>20030 >Enslave >Apprentice There’s a thought. If an Apprentice uses Enslave on someone, would they become the apprentice’s slave or yours? >I was quick to ensnare here with Enslave, turning her into my willing and enthusiastic slave How could you tell that it worked? >This turned out to be another incidentally great idea for the potential interactions with Parallel Casting Bolt + Enslave?

>>20087 >There’s a thought. If an Apprentice uses Enslave on someone, would they become the apprentice’s slave or yours? Probably the apprentice's, but could be yours. >How could you tell that it worked? Beyond immediate behavioral changes, probably some feedback from the spell itself. >Bolt + Enslave? Nah, Bolt+Bolt+Bolt...ad infinitum, allowing for arbitrarily large and fast - and thus powerful - projectiles. Potentially. I'm probably going to decide that it won't work that way and just results in a low budget Gate of Babylon.

>>20030 Hey, a build for one of my jumps. Thanks 9

>>20030 Lewdmage; Enhancements: Crystalized, Interface, Spark Mana[-200]: Pool, Trickle, Spell Specialization x4[*](-200) Spellcasting[-500]: Aesthetics, Components(-50), Control, Duration, Intensity, Targeting(-300), Parallel Casting(-50), Program(-100) L0 Spells: Clean*, Detect Magic, Porn Physics, Scroll, Sustain*, Translate* L1 Spells[-50]: Alter Details, Alter Fertility, Bolt*(-50) L2 Spells[-50]: Alter Age, Alter Fetishes(-50) L3 Spells[-100]: Cure, Enslave(-100) L4 Spells[-200]: Apprentice, Bind Focus(-200) Total: 1100-1100 2: Girls Bravo; Age/Sex: 21/Male Origin: Drop-In Location: Seiren Perks[-600]: New Friend, Innocent Onlooker(-100), Another Weird Day(-200), Hand-Holding(-300) Items[-400]: Allowance x3(-200), Jumper's Arena(-200) Companions[-0]: Seiren Bride(Sasaki Kanna) Total: 1000-1000 ~ Writeup; >Keeping to safe, slice-of-life settings for the time being, I headed to Girls Bravo as my second jump because it was fairly familiar and so I could enjoy being in a world of overrun with desperate women. I didn't have anything that I particularly wanted, so I bought out my origin's perkline for a number of niche social benefits and some extra mental resilience. With the remainder of my points, I picked up a modest passive income and...an underground fighting arena. >Also, given a free follower that I could customize, I picked up a tomboy oppai loli by the name of Sasaki Kanna. Based off of some artist's OC from my original world, I found myself free to interpret her personality, making her into a lewd, good-natured mesugaki. Also, as a Seiren-native, Kanna was just happy to have a man, even at such a young age and if it meant having to share me with Mitsuka. >Dropping into Seiren, I enjoyed a leisurely decade running that weird fighting arena I'd just acquired. Obviously, every event hosted there was incredibly lewd - either female-only Profession Wrestling with incredibly revealing costumes or sexually charged events straight out of a porno. In my off-time, I enjoyed the affections of my nascent harem. >On my way out of this world, I picked up the Potion spell and removed its cost with a paired purchase of Spell Specialization, removing the tax on creating shareable instances of my spells.

>>20219 Lewdmage; Enhancements: Crystalized, Interface, Spark Mana[-250]: Pool, Trickle, Spell Specialization x5[*](-250) Spellcasting[-500]: Aesthetics, Components(-50), Control, Duration, Intensity, Targeting(-300), Parallel Casting(-50), Program(-100) L0 Spells: Clean*, Detect Magic, Porn Physics, Scroll, Sustain*, Translate* L1 Spells[-100]: Alter Details, Alter Fertility, Bolt*(-50), Potion*(-50) L2 Spells[-50]: Alter Age, Alter Fetishes(-50) L3 Spells[-100]: Cure, Enslave(-100) L4 Spells[-200]: Apprentice, Bind Focus(-200) Total: 1200-1200 3: Stardew Valley; Origin: Townie (Drop-In) Age/Sex: 21/Male General Perks[-900]: Eye For Quality(-100), Brewer(-100), Artisanal Goods(-100), Miner(-200), The Heat of the Forge(-100), Geologist(-100), Lumberjack(-100), Forester(-100) Origin Perks[-0]: The First Step Is Trying The Farm[-0]: Hilltop Farm General Items[-300]: A Working Backpack(-50), Woodchipper(-50), Mystic Forge(-200) Origin Items[-100]: Farming Tools, Collection of Fruit Trees(-100) Drawbacks[+300]: Fussy Animals(+100), Clever Wildlife(+100), Jealous(+100) Total: 1300-1300 ~ Writeup; >Continuing my comfy times, I headed to Stardew Valley to spend some time down on the farm. I'd have been tempted to go for the Joja route if it had been an option, but my drop-in only rule railroaded me as a Townie. So I got to become a farmer on the outskirts of Pelican Town. >Beyond some freebies, my purchases were focused on mining and smithing, lumbering and arboriculture, plus brewing to make use of the fruits I'd be getting from my trees. This included choosing to make my free farm very hilly to support my mining efforts. But affording the perks to support brewing required dipping into drawbacks that made my trees much more sensitive, infested the outskirts of my property with raccoons that regularly got into my trash, and made me extra protective of my harem members. >The decade was one of hard work. Digging up and processing materials from my hills, cultivating an orchard and processing the fruits and lumber, and just maintaining the property. My harem were actually of some help, both with laboring on my farm and relaxing after the sun waned. I actually ran into The Farmer a few times in town - she was nice enough. >On my way out, I picked up the Charm spell to further reinforce my hold over my harem and become able to hand out love potions. Also made my Porn Physics spell free to round out my level zeroes.

>>20282 I’m actually playing Stardew Valley right now. Sustain is going to be your workhorse here.

>>20136 You're welcome. >>20287 100%.

>>20282 Lewdmage; Enhancements: Crystalized, Interface, Spark Mana[-300]: Pool, Trickle, Spell Specialization x6[*](-300) Spellcasting[-500]: Aesthetics, Components(-50), Control, Duration, Intensity, Targeting(-300), Parallel Casting(-50), Program(-100) L0 Spells: Clean*, Detect Magic, Porn Physics*, Scroll, Sustain*, Translate* L1 Spells[-150]: Alter Details, Alter Fertility, Bolt*(-50), Charm(-50), Potion*(-50) L2 Spells[-50]: Alter Age, Alter Fetishes(-50) L3 Spells[-100]: Cure, Enslave(-100) L4 Spells[-200]: Apprentice, Bind Focus(-200) Total: 1300-1300 4: Slime Rancher; Location: Overgrowth Background: Drop-In Perks[-200]: Slimy Survivalist, So Many Slimes(-100), Actual Farming(-100) General Items[-200]: Slimepedia, Basic Vacpack, Starter Ranch(-200) Origin Items[-900]: Dash Boots, Stash of Seeds(-100), Hen Hen Coop(-200), Ranch Expansion(-400), Plort Market Terminal(-200) Drawbacks[+300]: All Alone(+100), Feral Infestation(+200) Total: 1300-1300 ~ Writeup; >Heading to another chill setting, my fourth jump found me headed to Slime Rancher. Once again not really having any desire to be here beyond another safeish decade, I took the opportunity to massively expand my farmland and set myself up to be able to continue exploiting slimes in future worlds. This meant grabbing skills for ranching slimes and fiat-backed sources of their preferred foods. >Although while my intent was to have a chill decade, this ended up being another decade of hard work like Stardew Valley. I'd definitely want to either pick up some extra hands or let things rest going forward, but maintaining things at least gave me something to do. >On my way out, I picked up the Enchant spell to open up an avenue for reams of potential crafting opportunities with my lewdmage powers.

>>20628 You really should pick up Grope. It'd make managing your crops and animals much much easier

>>20628 Lewdmage; Enhancements: Crystalized, Interface, Spark Mana[-300]: Pool, Trickle, Spell Specialization x6[*](-300) Spellcasting[-500]: Aesthetics, Components(-50), Control, Duration, Intensity, Targeting(-300), Parallel Casting(-50), Program(-100) L0 Spells: Clean*, Detect Magic, Porn Physics*, Scroll, Sustain*, Translate* L1 Spells[-150]: Alter Details, Alter Fertility, Bolt*(-50), Charm(-50), Potion*(-50) L2 Spells[-150]: Alter Age, Alter Fetishes(-50), Enchant(-100) L3 Spells[-100]: Cure, Enslave(-100) L4 Spells[-200]: Apprentice, Bind Focus(-200) Total: 1400-1400 5: Danny Phantom; Location: Amity Park Age/Sex: 21/Male Origin: Normal Person (Drop-In) Perks[-800]: Believable Bluff, Popular(-100), Strong Willed(-200), Beneath Notice(-300), The Watcher(-200) Items[+400-600]: Time Medallion(-100), Blood Blossoms(-100), Ecto-ranium(-100), PDA, Mayor's Mansion(-300) Total: 1000-1000 ~ Writeup; >Having run through the settings that were functionally guaranteed to be safe, I started working through a number of slightly more dangerous destinations. The first of these that I selected was Danny Phantom, which I'd delayed on due to how powerful the ghosts could be. >I picked up some social benefits on my way in, plus a couple perks for avoiding trouble. As for items, I acquired an even bigger house, a upgrade that turned my PDA into an actual PDA, a medallion to protect me from time shenanigans, and supplies for a couple of anti-ghost materials. One of those was flowers, which aligned really well with the inadvertent farming focus I'd gone with. >After dropping in on the outskirts of Amity Park alongside my 340 acre property, I spent the decade continuing to manage the farm. I left the slime stuff behind for the time being, focusing on more mundane agriculture. But boy was I in need of a way to work in parallel, so I picked up Grope on my way out, plus to Alter Libido to start filling out my first level spells.

[Doctor Who redux] >Previously, on Sutekh's Crazy TARDIS Ride: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/93215395/#93217465 On the 24th of May, the Earth FUCKING EXPLODED. This made me uncharacteristically mad. I say uncharacteristically because previously I was at peace at no intelligent life of any value evolving on Earth due to preventing Gallifrey from emerging as a dominant galactic power, but now that it was here as a result of Sutekh mistaking a random British single mother for an all-powerful cosmic being, I was trying to make the most of it. And now it was chunks, drifting through space. "Ladies and..." I once again stared at Elodie giving me a shrug while Grail's red eyes flickered left and right impassively "...smaller ladies, I have assembled you as reinforcements to my usual henchwomen because even though retconning one of my children into the dominant space-time symbionts of this reality was supposed to have stopped it from constantly spawning universe-collapsing calamities, some of those calamities are still happening. Mostly because of the Pantheon of Discord emerging from OUTSIDE this universe. So before I drop another Moment with a war timeshipgirl fleet, order Yssgaroth to pump out some Great Vampire Swimmers, or set off another Reality Bomb. I've decided to see if a team of trained specialists can get the job done" I paused. "And God help us all, you're the closest I've got with relevant resumes" I finished. "So. Introduce yourselves" I ordered, "to my new friend here" "Mashu Kyrielight, Paladin class Servant!" said Mashu, doing a little Japanese bow at everyone. "Um. Former employee of the Chaldea Subjugation Organisation werenotabrothelshutupaboutthat. My armament, the Rayproof Kyrielight, is a directed energy weapon that can course correct history!" "Nine the Phantom" said Nine, giving everyone a look of barely restrained fury except a fleeting soft look directed at me. "Sorceress extraordinaire. Family woman. Writer of the Burning Red Grimoire. Can't believe I'm saying this, but your world is even worse than my own" "Uh, by sorceress do you mean you're a sufficiently advanced species of..." Wimey started "I mean that I fucking CAST MAGIC, you ignorant-" Elodie discretely censored the racial slur Nine fired at Wimey, which mostly just confused Wimey because it wasn't even an applicable racial slur outside of the Blazblue reality. It was actually an insulting term for catgirls, but we won't go there. "Polaris, Maiden of Time. No, not one of your Eternals" said the pink haired goddess dramatically checking her watch. "I'm just your friendly neighbourhood tutelary spirit, here to make sure your timeline is running properly" "Yssgaroth. I'm vampires. Lots of vampires" hissed the seething, rot-black mass of eyes and veins and jaws we were travelling time through. One of said jaws opened, revealing something iridescent briefly. "Daddy, why don't I just solve this myself? I've eaten the Lux Aeterna" "That's exactly why, I would prefer there to be a recognisable cosmos after we've dealt with the enemy" I complained. "Daaaad the thing in the old lady looks so T A S T Y" "I did not let you become the foundational binding force of this reality just so you could turn it into a larder, young lady" I sternly reminded her. "I did it because somehow, the Time Lords were doing far worse to it" "Wimey, the Timeless Child. It's a pleasure to meet you all" said Wimey, pouring everyone some tea. "In a future that will never come, I will never be gaslit into the Time Lord known as the Doctor. With my unlimited regenerations and simulation of Gallifreyan technology, I'll be your your guide in this wild, sometimes wonderful, often terrifyingly self-destructive universe!". She twirled on the nearest Yssgaroth eyeball. "Wait, IN the old lady?" "Oh yes" gurgled my daughter "I can TASTE what's lurking within her. Target trajectory locked, Yssgaroth. Carve us a path" Writhing veins and yawning maws opened up to a British street where what seemed like an old British woman was staring at nothing. "You ain't seen me!" she said to an unseen direction. "On the contrary" I told her, stepping out, "I see you plenty enough. Mashu, eliminate the target" "Wait, that's an old woman, can't we just-" began Wimey. "Commencing Paradigm Inflation! Locking in Force of Providence cannisters! Life scale measured at" Mashu squinted "...very, very high! FIRING!" A bolt of blue light hit the woman known as Mrs. Flood, and she vanished screaming. Polaris snapped her fingers at a nearby device; a piece of Time Lord technology rusted to scrap. "That's how it's coordinating" she told me. "It's scheming it's way across history by tracking technology that belongs to a man that never existed" "Then we can do the same" I told her, "starting with Planet..." we all squinted in disbelief at the planet name, "...Missbelindachandra" We showed up before a Miss Belinda Chandra (someone who had been taken by the local robot population under the impression she was their destined queen, and in a fit of frustrated confusion had yelled at them to go get her shitty ex instead) had just passed a time fracture. Due to the atemporal nature of this anomaly, the robots retroactively ALSO went back in time thousands of years ago to abduct said shitty ex, prop him up as their god-king, and subsequently inflicting his tyrannical power fantasies on the planet just to attract Belinda to his side so that he, currently an agonised cyborg due to his toxic masculinity having corrupted the robots into serving him or something, could fuse with her in an unsubtle rape metaphor. Normally there was a risk that since both had a copy of their shitty novelty calendar that sold "ownership" of a constellation touching each other, a Time Lord would be required to take the brunt of said explosion. But we didn't have a Time Lord, just a Timeless Child.

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So instead, Nine just took one look at the outraged A.L. (no his name was literally Al), told him to touch grass, and melted his circuits with electricity. Then Grail gave Mashu a quick portal to the time fracture, which she quickly fixed by shooting. This INSTANTLY reprogrammed all the robots from oppressive overlords to friendly diplomats, because apparently Al's entitled he-man behaviour was the only thing making the robots evil. Given the only reason he was in a position to be the robot overlord was because his ex rambled about him, it was almost like time and space itself set up a convoluted domino effect to punish one misandrist. ... "Yssgaroth, did you do that?" I said pointedly. Yssgaroth giggled. "But daaaad, the funny chaunivist makes hilarious noises when he's ripped apart atom by atom until he's just a sperm and an egg again!" "It's always gratifying to zap a pervert" admitted Nine. "Before YOU say anything" added Yssgaroth as Elodie was about to reproachfully smite her, "I didn't do anything except deliver him to the one planet coincidentally named after his ex. His actions are his own. If I wanted to corrupt him, I'd have made him more creatively malicious than hung up on some insignificant functionary" "That is...huh, true. And baffling" said Elodie blankly. "You're. You're right. I'm sensing some sort of metanarrative paradigm shift towards making chauvinism corrosive enough to corrupt an entire advanced civilisation. What the hell?" "Can we at least try to be more professional?" I asked the uncaring universe. "Of course" said Grail smoothly, suddenly burying her ax in this time period's Mrs. Flood again. There was no VWOORP VWOORP noise as we headed to the next space-time coordinate, because we walked Yssgaroth's channels instead of rode a faulty TARDIS. We were in Britain again, for our sins. Some podcaster was trying to get Ruby Sunday, chav girl of absolutely no cosmic significance whatsoever, spooked by his mates who were hiding in the bushes wearing surprisingly accurately alien costumes in order to try to frame UNIT as a complete waste of government expenditure and essentially a DEI kickback scheme. This podcaster, driven by sheer petty sociopathic spite, need for attention and right wing paranoia, had somehow convinced himself that this was the actual truth. Had things come to pass, there was a possibility he might actually end up in UNIT command. Armed. And driving Kate Stewart to ironically prove him right. Fortunately for the Brigadier's daughter, I decided to nip this particular machination in the bud with superior bureaucratic procedure. I cast a genjutsu on my crew as they snuck up on the lads in the bushes, walked up to Conrad (the twat in charge) in a bubble of halted time and simultaneously we shouted "OI MATE, YOU GOT A LOICENSE FOR THAT?!" very loudly. 1/2

>>21625 "Bloody hell, whatever's the meaning of this?" asked Conrad. "You with Think Tank?" "W-well yeah, I mean I suppose-" "Wot's Think Tank?" asked Ruby suddenly. "Far right conspiracy podcast mainly about how aliens aren't real and UNIT is is a hoax. Didn't your boyfriend mention that?" I asked bluntly. Judging from Ruby's glare, he didn't. "You can't silence the truth! This is all recorded!" he shouted, waving a canon threateningly at me. "GOOD" I said menacingly. With my reality warping powers, I suddenly caused Michael Jackson music to play out of the nearest speaker, demonetising the entire video. "What about tax evasion?" "...who are you? A-and speaking of taxes, UNIT's a drain on YOUR hard-earned money, right?" he babbled into the camera, shoving Ruby violently aside. "So I'm really interested in who exactly our friend here is" "Internal Revenue" I said, waving my psychic paper at him. He went pale at what I made it show him. "And I'm glad you're so passionate about taxes young man, because your 'self-employed startup' has over seventeen counts of evading them, along with other charges such as-" "-trespassing, causing a public nuisance and conspiracy to start a public panic" said Elodie smartly, frog marching two other podcasters increasingly horrified by the realisation that they had actually broken laws that mattered with their little prank. "Y'know, there's a word for folks who stage a false alarm for an entire military division, isn't there?" said Wimey breezily, twirling her sonic screwdriver. "Something about a fire drill was it...oh right, no. CRIMINAL" The entire podcast team was arrest amidst sputtered protests and a very angry ex-girlfriend's kick to the dick, fortunately without UNIT in any way being implicated for reckless abuse of power-say, by setting a wild alien an uppity pseudo-right wing strawman and literally ripping his arm off to create the live action equivalent of drawing a soijack and Kate as the Chad. ... "YSSGAROTH" I said flatly, as we waited outside Conrad's jail cell. Without bothering to psychically hide herself from him specifically, my daughter's eldritch amorphous mass was traumatising the man. "Look at him seething himself to death, it's GREAT" whined Yssgaroth. "Okay, stop, this...this comic relief misandry has gone too far" said Wimey with dawning horror. "Let's just focus on what we're here to do, eh?" "As we should have been" agreed Grail, suddenly axing Mrs. Flood as she came around the corner as a security guard trying to free Conrad. She looked very surprised as she keeled over. I checked the remaining destinations. "Ignore this one. Pantheon of Discord member emergence, we're going to need an actual plan" I declared. "Choose, friends. Overwhelming stakes or unparalleled danger?" "Stakes" everyone, being well-seasoned existential crisis survivors, said. Yssgaroth expelled us in Nigeria. "Whoa, this world has a Wakanda?" asked Elodie as we arrived at a strangely cheery, hopeful, community-centric version of Nigeria. "No, no, well kind of" I admitted, pointing at an innocuous barbershop. "In there is a once-human immortal who apparently created all the gods of human myth, only to be abandoned by them. That construct is actually a giant spider-shaped ship carrying a brain-shaped Story Engine, crawling up a web of god-blood and thought called the Nexus that tethered the gods to the human collective consciousness itself. So yes. The gods of mythology are real. And you may have noticed a legendary little girl on your way in. So in a sense, this IS Wakanda in the sense it is an African population amongst whom the gods walk subtly and share their blessings in subtle ways" "But why a BARBERSHOP?" demanded Wimey. "People tell their barbers stories" I pointed out. "Well, white and black people apparently do. I wouldn't know" "...can't he just go to an opera house, or get chatGPT to generate stories, or-" she began and gave up, all of Gallifrey's knowledge unable to comprehend the superior technology of ultra-advanced prehistoric Africans. As I said, this was an intervention involving high stakes, not danger. Specifically catastrophic effects on human consciousness due to the excision of storytelling. The catch was that the Barber was not actually much of a ruthless cackling mastermind, deeply regretted lying to the demigoddess of Anansi he'd roped into his scheme, and was generally much like a burnt out employee burning down his old workplace. So when we stepped in, I pointedly declared I knew what was going on and would be depositing my story directly in the story engine without the nonsense restraint blanket while Nine and Grail discretely started figuring out how to hack the space-time lock on the door (and Polaris, sighing at the both of them trying to be tactical, simply let herself out without anyone noticing).

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"I think" I said to the man, "that Elloge's account of the First Age should be sufficient for your needs". I plucked a single living, pulsing, multidimensional rune from Elsewhere and popped it into the Story Engine. It was a long story-not quite infinite, but rich enough in the multidimensional layers of Creation and it's realpolitik to keep the construct thrumming along. "Not bad at all my friend, not bad!" marvelled the Barber. "Then I guess you won't mind dropping off these innocent Wakan-I mean, Nigerians back where they came from. Seems like the least you can do after you've had your revenge' "This is JUSTICE" he insisted. "I worked for the gods, they abandoned me and told me to know my place-" "-and all you ever wanted was to be recognised for your work, yes?". I tapped the engine. "This writer's much the same way" He slumped in a chair. "YES!" "But" I said gently, "if you destroy the concept of storytelling...you'll definitely destroy your entire legacy. And I'm not just talking about the stories you never wrote for yourself, the name the gods never even saw fit to give you. I'm talking about religion as a concept. Say what you like about the gods, but if you're to be believed you've shaped human civilisation in profound ways and your justice is...to erase the stories that matter more to some than life itself? The ones YOU penned?" He buried his face in his palms. "Oh gods, I did NOT think this through" "You know, if the older Doctors were still around, they'd judge you harshly for your selfishness. Your pettiness. But they're not here, and I am, and..." I mused, thinking about the favour I was going to extract from UNIT for my timely intervention. Of the alien and robot civilisations' gratitude, and what that was worth as currency. "...and I'm putting together a team to deal with an entity that pushed one of them to the brink. I've been very patient. Nobody knows about your scheme. You can keep your ship and your secrets, turn this whole thing around and put them back. Then confess if that eases your conscience. And I'll keep your secret, support whatever lies or truth you have to tell. And in exchange, you'll owe me a favour" "That sounds...like more than I deserve" he admitted. "Just between you and me, there's a few pantheons I'd like to see snuffed out" I muttered in his ear, "but now's not the time or place for another Olympian genocide" In the end, he couldn't hold his secret forever. The Barber strode out, declared that there was a critical miscalibration in the Story Engine, and that everyone was free to go home. He was only mildly flustered by Polaris having already opened the door and let almost everyone out, leaving only his own, helpless accomplice who was too nice to stop them. Then halfway back he broke down and confessed everything, and was forgiven because like I said this was Wakanda and the metanarrative cliche of Disney having black men bow down to strong independent black women was in full effect-before the two of them continued on having a surprisingly wholesome friendship in which she took him in as a roomie in Wakanda!Nigeria and named him. "Oh, I do love happy endings" said Polaris kindly as she watched them head off. "Never quite liked Saturn's" "Don't even get me started on your sister" I warned her, as Yssgaroth warped us to the planet formerly known as Midnight, 500,000 years in the future. "She'd enjoy this, I think". We approached the security force en route to the mining facility, and saw at once they were an unacceptable security risk. Flash of psychic paper. "Upper military command. You've all been reassigned to the motherworld" I said flatly. They left. "...no Earth" said Elodie slowly, as we headed through raided rooms full of broken mirrors. "Hah? What's that?" asked Nine. "There's no record of Earth as a planet, or human as a species, this far in the future!" said Elodie. "The destruction was so severe, nothing was left to remember" said Yssgaroth and Polaris at the same time. Elodie glanced at them, then me. "No spoilers, huh?" "Not relevant yet. We've got another asset to collect" I told her. The asset in question was seemingly a scared deaf woman. Immediately all of us detected the malign, vaguely serpentine presence behind her-more substantial than mere concept, and yet so much less than flesh. Previous Doctors had considered it to be learning. I took one look at it's gleeful, Lilim-like malevolence and knew it for what it was doing. Playing, when it drove men to paranoia-stricken murder or bounced their bodies into pulp. "I am speaking now to the entity hiding behind Aliss. First of all. Hiding is" RUDE I announced, my eyes flaring with Empyreal power, rendering metal translucent, and exposing it's vast and grisly form for all to see. It didn't so much recoil as preen in the light, the madness of it's faceless leer juxtaposed with it's leathering flaps and slithering coils and all the other glimpses of nightmare it showed in the brief concessions it gave perception. "Second of all. I find it remarkable that across fifteen incarnations the man who smote the Dalek race from history, outwitted gods, and won the Time War never found a way to deal with you. Why is that, do you think?" It whispered. Oh, it was annoyed it's game had been spoilt-but much, much more gleeful about the opportunities it had if it could only bait one of us. "That's right" I said for the others' benefit. "Because it can inflict harm and move faster than a Time Lord can think, and a Time Lord's main weapon is his thoughts" "What IS it?" asked Mashu. "A fucking menace. Don't go behind the girl AND look for it. It'll hit you faster than you can blink, then possess anyone who kills whoever it's...riding to do the same thing" said Nine, dead serious as she withdrew several Ars Armegis. "And that's not a hard rule, not it's limit. It has other powers. It's fucking with us" "An impudent animal, with delusions of grandeur. No more special than the Weeping Angels" said Grail dismissively. "It's fast, but so are the Omega Beams. I say bait it out. Let it take me, and let us both burn" "A kindred spirit" said Yssgaroth, drooling. "What do you think, daddy?" "I think" I said, "it's weak to Technique Mirror" 2/3

>>21626 Szoreny's particular sorcerous initiation manifested a particularly strong mirror, one that could reflect attacks twice over. The entity, it that had no name, had currently set it's power in such a way that it attacked and possessed whatever it attacked. It knew I knew these things as I strolled towards it's killzone, and it was vibrating with glee. "Polaris. Nine. You'll have a moment to attack" I told the others as I strode for it's killzone. "Mashu. You'll need a barrier as strong as the traitor Galahad's. And on three, two...one" IT HAS NO NAME AND YET IT LUNGES- -rebounding off /itself/, but compelled by it's own attack to strike again and again against the copy summoned by Technique Mirror. This was hardly more of a surety than an actual mirror. The entity was wounded, furious yes-but it had time to reset it's powers. What it did not have time was to deal with the copy of Lux Sanctus Observing it into a prone and helpless position, or Polaris' Pressed Beyond Time's Doorway indefinitely delaying it's next action. "Now, what to do with you?" I asked the entity. "I could cast you back down there. Amongst the cold, and the dark, and the diamonds. Where you're reflected endlessly against yourself, alone". It hissed and writhed at this. "Or" I said coldly, the power of the Time Vortex forming around my clenched fist "I can bring you eternity. It may kill you. It may not. But you'll be stuck here. Prone. For all the time in the world, and more" "Not quite alone" it rasped, scrambling against it's bonds. "Your next opponent. I've seen him! The glint in the broken madmen's eyes. The last thing I saw, falling into the abyss..." "Then you know the conditions of your survival" "I will finally leave this world. See all that there is. And be unleashed, against your final opponent" The room flared gold as I sorcerously bound it, hobbled it, and named it Midnight for the site of it's own decrepitude. And as Wimey marvelled at something so fundamentally incomprehensible made so tame by Adamant Circle Sorcery, we found ourselves on the threshold of the last and most terrible of players roped into my new foe's schemes. Right inside a movie theater in the 1950s. "Wait, what's that?" asked Wimey as she saw what I was strapped to the motorcycle I summoned. "My weapon of choice". The others look askance, but with a quick, helpless shrug from Elodie they fell into line. The theatre offered less than no resistance as we entered, nor did the sad lonely man running the reels of film. There was a cartoon playing in it's aged interior: Mr. Ring-a-Ding, the current mask of Lux Imperator. God of Light. "I'm Mr. Ring-a-Ding, I love to prance and sing! And my oh my, what is that you BRING?!" he trilled at us. "Are you fucking serious? We're fighting a cartoon?" snapped Nine. Lux looked at her. Suddenly Nine was her 2D videogame sprite self. "You're goddamn RIGHT you're fighting a cartoon, miss high and flighty!" he barked, peeling himself off the big screen. "Because I'm the dazzle at the heart of the pantheon, I'm the pale and lustrous moonlight beaming on down to your boring little world, and I'm the man who's about to trap everyone here in a funny picture if they so much as look funny at all those reels of film!" "So the metacommentary" I interrupted. "A side gig, yes? That is to say you are the god of LIGHT, not stories" "Pfft, don't play with me playa!" he said, sashaying up to me. "I know you dealt some pretty heavy blows to the others! But I also know that light's your game, just like it's in my name! So go on" he said, suddenly slapping everyone into separate rolls of film. "Make. My. Night" "That is in fact my intention" I said, squaring up. "I want to raise the stakes with you" "You want to beat me at my own game, like you beat my progenitor and siblings! Ya square!" "And you're going to say yes. Both because the laws of your nature bind you...and because I'll show you a light you'll never find in this era" I said, flashing my weapon. Lux found himself transfixed by it, like a moth to flame. "A game of cards...and LIGHT. How could I resist" he mused. "I can't. It's out of the question" 3/4

>>21627 "BUH" said Elodie, jumping out of a stray reel. "I hate metacommentary so much" grumbled Grail, kicking her way out of another. "Hey, HEY, hands off the merchandise!" shouted Lux. "Whatcha think you're about to do with all those reels of film, busters?!" "Well, I was thinking that I'd like to challenge you to an ULTRA DUEL" I declared. "In DUEL MONSTERS" Lux oohed and aahed as the classic decor of the 50s was replaced by a holograhic machine that created a desolate battlefield of light and shadow between us, while my motorcycle revved through the theatre, it's deck full of children's card games loaded and waiting. He wasn't what you'd call a quick study, but with a few false starts-during which Polaris and Wimey managed to escape, dragging the others with them to behold the Ultra Duel-he quickly sorted himself out a deck of his own. And the duel was on. "Well, well, WELL" said Lux, marvelling at the golden gleam in his hand, "so much LIGHT from the exotic Orient, and I haven't even had a chance to nuke Nagasaki! what should little-old-ring-a-ding-me choose? I know! I play Light Sorcerer. In attack mode!" he declared, putting one of his cards face up. "Oh golly, this isn't looking good for you Anon!" said Wimey, like she knew anything about children's card games. "It's over, Anon! With this card from the future of this game's development, I'll ring-a-ding-RING you out!" cackled Lux. Then slapped himself. "UGH, gotta start thinking like a duelist, and not a cartoon! Anyway, draw your last pathetic card, and end this world's last and only line of resistance to me!" "My companions' deck HAS no pathetic cards, Lux!" I shot back. "But it does contain...NEO SPACE CONNECTOR!" "NO! Not Neo Space Connector!" shouted Lux. "...what's Neo Space Connector?" "A creature born to explore the ever-expanding realms of new space! And like many explorers Lux, he never journeys alone! Neo Space Connector's special ability allows me to summon a Neo-Spacian monster from my deck! So come forth, the nautical Neo-Spacian, AQUA DOLPHIN!" "Wait, where's Blue Eyes White Dragon?" asked Elodie. "And now Lux" I said, ignoring her, "by using my Neo Space Connector and Aqua Dolphin as material, I link summon the UNSTOPPABLE ISOLDE!" "WHO?" sputtered Lux, surprised he was losing a game he literally learned about 15 seconds ago. "The effect of Isolde, allows me to add to my hand the ubiquitous Igknight Templar, and send the impregnable Infernoble Arms - Durandal to my graveyard. Which then allows me to special summon from my deck, the unstoppable Infernoble Knight - Renaud!" "Don't forget to add Durandal back to your hand due to Renaud's effect, daddy~" called Yssgaroth. "Oh. Thank you dear" I said, belatedly flicking back a card. "HOLD IT, bozo!" interrupted Lux. "You must think I'm insane if you think I'll let you go through with this ridiculous strategy! This pile of yours belongs in the trash, and I intend to put it there myself! I activate the ability of the Kelbek The Ancient Guardian in my hand, to bounce Isolde back to your extra deck!" "A noble sacrifice. ONE I SHALL REPAY IN KIND" I shouted, "by equipping Infernoble Arms - Durandal to my Renaud! WHICH WILL DESTROY IT" I declared, the card letting out a flash of light but not actually exploding or anything. "Allowing me to add a level 5 or lower monster to my hand, and I choose the inextinguishable Ignis Phoenix the Dracoslayer! But I'm not done YET. Now I'll activate the instantaneous INSTANT FUSION. By paying 1000 of my life points, I bring about my ace monster, my partner, the unsummonable FLAME SWORDSMAN" "M-master, that's MY monster!" yelled Mashu. "There, there. Our monsters are his monsters" said Grail, patting her on the head with uncharacteristic gentleness. "I-I wanted to be the one to play Flame Swordsman, in a battle to save the world..." sniffled Mashu. "NEXT, I'll activate from my hand the expeditious Instant Contact!" I said, ignoring her and bearing the weight of this tragic yet necessary betrayal on my back. "By paying another 1000 life points, I summon the sizzlingly spicy, elemental hero Flare Neos!" "Oi, can you really steal another card from a young girl's deck?" asked Wimey. "That feels profane!"

[Expand Post]

"Y-yeah, and I definitely don't play Red/Blue" said Elodie nervously. "NOW, using Flare Neos and the Flame Swordsman as material, I once again summon the INSEPARABLE ISOLDE! Weaving a tale of sword and sorcery, these two roommates will activate their special ability once more!" "No! I don't get it!" shouted Lux. Never in my life have I seen such a strategy, he thought, with no theme, no clear line, it's just a pile of cards. Neo Spacians, Igknights, Synch-whatsits, and now he's playing beyond the pendulum?! In all my seconds as a duelist, I've never seen a deck move so fluidly! What's even a pendulum? WHY AM I HAVING SUCH A SURPLUS OF INTERNAL MONOLOGUE?!? OH GOD, THE INSIDE OF MY HEAD'S A GOSH-DARNED OPERA HOUSE "Finally, Lux. It's the beginning of the end!" I declared. "By sacrificing two monsters, I construct the overlay network, xyz summoning the timeless TIMESTAR MAGICIAN. And now I'll activate the special ability of the Timestar Magician, by activating the xyz material. The master of magic will reach through the barriers of space and time-" "Like a TARDIS?" asked Wimey. "-yeah kind of, allowing me to search for one dark spellcaster monster from my deck! A monster of duel monsters past. The monster known as...the unstoppable...EXODIA!" "Ah. Wha? Oh no" said Lux faintly. "Oh YES, god of light. While my monsters may APPEAR scattered and unorganised, these unlikely allies have joined forces to allow me to search for the first piece of my ultimate creature!" "Anon, that's a low blow! I'll allow you to know I have plenty of friends" protested Lux. "Cartoon characters and the Maestro don't count" "Well, of course. The Maestro doesn't even count as a real woman" he said, sniffing. "But I'm far from done, Lux. Now I activate the effect of the Igknight Templar in my Pendulum Zone, in order to destroy both of my Pendulum Scales. But IN RESPONSE, I will activate the response of my Timestar Magician. This will allow me to send one spellcaster monster from my deck to the graveyard, in order to negate THEIR destruction. And for that cost, I will send BLUE DRAGON SUMMONER" "No, no, no..." wailed Lux, even as he struggled to understand his own mounting panic. "And now, using my beyond the pendulum and Timestar Magician as material, I link summon Selene, queen of the master magicians!" "NO NO NO NO NO" "Who will gain 4 spell counters, allowing me to summon from my graveyard, BLUE DRAGON SUMMONER!" "NO NO NO ONONONONONONO" "And now I will link off my Blue Dragon Summoner, AND my Selene, in order to link summon CROSS SHEEP! And now that Blue Dragon Summoner has been sent to the graveyard, I can add to my hand one NORMAL monster from my deck. The UNSTOPPABLE. LEFT LEG. of. EXODIA!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This can't be happening, thought Wimey. Anon keeps summoning Selene, using it to revive the dragon summoner, then linking them off again and again! And every time the summoner goes to the graveyard, he gets to search another piece! A loop perfectly constructed to gather all five pieces! I have nothing left in my hand to interact with, thought Lux in horror, I'm going to lose to a crappy loophole and a handful of cheap cards plays in ways they were never intended for! Why did I bring Light Sorcerer to an Ultra Duel?!" "ONE MORE PIECE! ONE MORE PIECE! ONE MORE PIECE!" my companions all chanted. "And NOW Lux, I link off my Selene and my dragon summoner one final time, in order to summon Apollousa! And with the dragon summoner once again in the graveyard, I can activate his special ability to obtain" "THE UNSTOPPABLE" "EXODIA" "E-EXODIA?!" gasped Lux, reeling back in horror at the grinning ancient Egyptian god of children's card games. "It's not possible! He hasn't been summoned, because his card game isn't even invented yet!" "I've assembled all five special cards! All five pieces of the puzzle!" I shouted. "EXODIA! OBLITERATE!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" screamed Lux, as with a deafening tear in the fabric of reality, by the terms of his existence as a god of the Pantheon of Discord, and by the ancient egyptian laws of Yugioh, he was carried by the otherwise-harmless beam fired by Exodia straight into the Shadow Realm where his light would forever be scattered in an impenetrable abyss. ... "...okay, are we sure he didn't knock us into some sort of metafictional movie dimension?" asked Wimey finally, as we left the theatre. "Because the alternative is I have to believe I just saw you defeat an infinite god by beating him in a children's card game" "Read them and weep" I announced, showing her Lux, the Maestro, the Toymaker and Sutekh all sealed away in Yugioh cards. "And that" said Elodie faintly, "is why we never play poker with you" 4/4

Not planning to spend anywhere near this long writing future builds. Jump 1 - Kirby Part 1 (Retro Era) Stipend: +1000 DP Drawbacks: 2100 DP Pieces of Time (+0 DP) Property of Nintendo (+0 DP) Usual Suspect (+200 DP) Welcoming Vessel (+300 DP) A Matter Most Dark (+600 DP) Species: 2050 DP Age & Gender [Don’t Care] (Free) Fairy (-50 DP) Background: 2050 DP Friend (Free) Perks: 750 DP Dream Buffet (-100 DP to keep) Dream Battle (-100 DP to keep) Dream Life (Free this Jump) Dream World (Free this Jump) Dream Element (Free this Jump) Popstar (Free) Victory Dance (Free) Shaped Like a Friend (Free) Head in the Clouds (-150 DP, Free Species) Copied Ability [Mirror] (Free) Welcome Distractions (-100 DP) Essence of a Hero (-100 DP, Free Background) Inextinguishable (-100 DP, Free Background) Smell of Adventure (-200 DP, -100 DP Background) Stress Ball (-400 DP, -200 DP Background) Star Heart (-600 DP, -300 DP Background) Shining Star (-600 DP, -300 DP Background) Party Trick (-100 DP) Assets: 0 DP Pink Buttons (Free this Jump) Power-Ups (Free this Jump) Minigame Collection (-50 DP) Player 2 (-300 DP) Swimming Gear (-100 DP, Free Background) Animal Friends (-200 DP) Base Purchase (-200 DP, -100 DP Background) Plus-Charge (-100 DP) Warpstar (-400 DP, -200 DP Background)

>>23181 Part A: A Jester and a Crow In the middle of day, a Jester lay, on a mattress of soil and a pillow of hay. Just like the voice said, he’d been born anew, but now that he’s here, what was he to do? The voice gave no guide, beyond that one word: “live” but perhaps there’s something else he was expected to give? His head was more hollow than he recalled it to be. Thoughts, harder to follow; memories, harder to see. But his thinking and recalling was quickly stopped dead, as an equally hollow coconut was dropped on his head. Overhead was the one to thank for pulling such a needless prank. It was a black, shiny, and berd who smuggling cackled “what’s up nerd?”. Expecting a face to red, or tears to stream, the Jester just looked up and began to beam. I truly did hurt, and he held no masochistic side, but the cackling of the crow merely filled him with pride. This is what he is, a jester to his core, such was the meaning of the clothes that he wore. That’s right! His clothes! He almost forgot! He fished out the note on which he shoddily jot: “map to the castle”. That was his goal before this sleepiness spell, there was no time to waste as he waved the crow farewell. Part B: A Jester and a Dog The pair chuckled and chatted without care, until crunching and munching soon filled the air. It was a large black dog, with eyes appearing both vacant and piercing, it gnawed a large bone all alone in this clearing. “We’d better circle round” said the bird named Bliss but clearly the Jester felt nothing amiss. He calmly approached the dog till its eyes met his own, and bluntly proclaimed “you must really like that bone?”. Its pupils widen with clarity, and just as soon start to cry “where has my meat gone!” it screams to the sky. “You see I am cursed, for I love meat so much, but whenever I find it, it vanishes from my touch”. The crow tidily chimed in “Then what do you eat?”, the dog bluntly retorts “I just told you, the meat, but the meat always runs away as soon as I eat”. The implications of this chat flew right over the Jester’s head “well if you can’t find your meat, how about some of mine instead”. Again, the dog’s eyes narrowed and almost appeared to glow, as it leaped and swallowed the Jester's meat, hand, forearm, and elbow. The Jester was surprisingly tough, showing no sign of alarm, as the dog screamed “Ri rub rou! Ri Rub Rou!” with its mouth full of arm. Part C: A Jester and a Catfish The trio kept walking, till their path was stopped by a lake, when a strange golden face breached the surface and spake. I’m sorry to say that you’ll made a bad turn, the lake is quite long as you can clearly discern. To circle around would take no less than a day, but I can give you a ride, so what do you say?”. The crow could carry the dog by air, while the catfish carried the Jester without a care. However, long before the end, the fish began to descend. However, the Jester was concerned about his not getting soaked, so he scrambled through his pockets as the catfish invoked” “Great king of the lake, I’ve brought your next meal!” as up from a chasm spawned a colossal eel. The catfish began to shudder “n-now, you promised a cut of any treasure you find?” and the raspy eel muttered “I’ll tell you if any comes to mind”. But the Jester hadn’t overheard a word of this talk, as he finally recalled storing his mirror in his sock. He fished it right out, and stuffed the note right through, but the portal was now open, and much more could come through. All was pulled into the window, which was not watertight, as the giant eel swallowed the Jester in one bite. The water continued to drain from the giant’s maw, until the difference in water pressure crushed them thinner than straw. In a few hours more, the lake had dried, then the Jester used his wing to reach the other side. Upon seeing this, the fish thought in his heart “why didn’t he just do that from the start?”

>>23183 Part D: A Jester and a Snake The quartet moved on, till struck their curiosity, a swamp full of sculptures, all of quite shoddy quality. Each depicted a serpent, noses turned up in pride, and from behind them rose the sculptor with a bright scarlet hide. “Halt, worthless peons, your king has arrived. Greet the lord of all eons, from whom all majesty derived. Bestow upon me my deserved praise, and I shall spare you further delays.” First came the crow “You’re impeccably dressed.” The naked snake was not impressed. Then came the dog “You’d make a tasty steak!” The serpent began to tremble and shake. Now for the fish “You’re a lord without match, a regal presence we’re unworthy to catch. Please let us pass, and on your command, we’ll spread word of your greatness to all of Dreamland!”. The words made the snake’s ego swell, as hollow praise was where the fish could excel. And to close off: the Jester “Your scales shine like the finest jewel, your voice neither weak nor cruel. Your stonework proves your artistic skill, your charisma fills my heart with thrill”. The reptile attempted to offer consent, but the Jester’s praises were far from spent: “Strength so great and eyes so wise, none equal the brilliance of the thoughts you devise”. The adulation continued for many hours more, the snake feeling shame never known before. The snake was frozen from head to tail. His face was so red it made his body look pale. Part E: A Jester and a Frog The quintet progressed till they reached a bog, where they asked for directions from a lonely frog. They knew not the castle the five wished to see, but recalled a stranger who may know more than she. Before the group could continue their quest, the frog used her tongue to grab the Jester in protest. “My helpful words don’t come without price, I’ll be wedding the fairy in return for my advice.” Without missing a beat, the Jester proclaimed “But I don’t want to do that” and the frog let go, ashamed. “I didn’t think that would work, but I needed to try, I’m just so lonely”, the frog struggled not to cry. But her tears were stopped early by a kiss on her head, by the gentle smiling Jester who innocently said “I’m not ready for marriage, but a friend is just as good, and you’ve got five right here, I thought that was understood?” The Jester gently held the frog to protect her from danger, as she led the way to this unseen stranger. Though he called her a friend, and she shouldn’t want more, she couldn’t stop her heart from beating thrice as hard as before. Part F: A Jester and an Elephant The six found their way to the stranger with a brush in his right, but the surrounding portraits were a surreal sight. They drew the Jester’s adventure, from start until end, from the meeting with the crow, to the frog becoming friend. “Before you ask, I want to make myself clear, I haven’t been following you, you’ve no need to fear. I didn’t need to stalk, I need only sit and wait, as you’ve been wandering in circles for three days straight. But with each circle tread, the locals took note, and as your stories were spread, my inspiration bloat. But now that I have you to lend an ear, what exactly are you seeking here?” The friends of the jester were curious as well, the question of purpose haunted them as well. “As you can see, I’m a jester from a land afar. I've been seeking a new client since I was banished from Ripple Star. When speaking of royals, one name best fits the brand, the great Dedede, the king of Dreamland.” The elephant pondered, before he hesitantly replied. “I truly hope your talent isn’t squandered on a king such as he. His reputation is less wholesome than you’ve been informed. I’ll show you the way, but you have been warned.”

>>23185 Part G: A Jester and the Dark The full group of five made their way to the keep, and the Jester proved his worth to the king, though the pay was cheap. But it mattered not, the Jester could fulfill his purpose, of making others laugh as a one-man circus. For years the king adored the fools jokes and warmed to his games, until one day that dream was burnt up in flames. A shadowy fiend had infected the king, and the fool short behind. The two terrorized the kingdom without clear heart or mind. This lasted for days as the land was left crying, until a small pink hero sent the ghostly shadows flying. All was to normal, and repairs could begin, no grudge was held, until it happened again. The king’s possession was a regular event, and when the king fell, the Jester also went. At first brushed off, the servants began to remark that the Jester himself may be the source of the dark. Not wishing to be feared, the Jester fled from his home, and again the wilds he again would roam. But he was no longer sorrowful, as he did not leave alone. His new six friends would stay by his side, his own loyal audience and those on whom he relied. But perhaps it wasn’t six, but seven in all, as a dark blob trailed past the castle wall. Still, the jester felt a looming doom. To think his heart held such dormant gloom. He thought his joy was sincere, but the darkness saw through. He would not be defeated, he knew what to do. He would fill his heart with light, and share it far and wide. He’d leave the darkness with nowhere in the world to hide.

>>23181 >>23183 >>23185 >>23187 The question now is if I'm even going to attempt posting this on /tg/.

[Library of Ruina redux fix, jump #489] Drawbacks: world.execute(you), Unbuttered Optics, Book of the Degraded Jumper, Will of the Prescripts, Furioso, A Party Overlasting, Roland Did Nothing To Deserve This Suffering, Retrieval Arc, Adam's Cruelty, In Hell you Live, Lament (3400) District 1 Feather (3300) That's That, and This is This (Free) Augmented: Canard (Free) Augment: Urban Plague (Free) Augmentation: Star of the City (Free) Marketable Resume (Free) Just Following Orders (Free) EGOtistical (2700) Our Sun (2100) Head, Eye, Claw: Arbiter (1800) Egg of the World: Whalemaid generation (1200) Theme songs by MiLi and Studio EIM (Free) Dime Store Weapons (Free) Signature Outfit (Free) Persistent Housing (Free) Promotions (Free) Singular Weapons: W + T (Free) Your Dearest Friend: Lilith (0, 800 + 2400 = 3000 CP) -Drop-In: That's That and This is This (Free), Augemented: Canard, EGOtistical (2400), Great Vacation (Free), Be More Chill (Free), Bloodfiend (2200), Our Sun (1900), Gone Angels (1600), Colorful (1000), Then Is Heard No More (400), Iron Lotus (Free), Signature Outfit (Free), Small Business Owner (300), EGO Machine (0)

>>23188 I always post on both, for what it's worth. Partly to have a reference for my build somewhere on the archives if I want to remember something, mostly just because my autism demands I put the thing in the place it's supposed to go in.

[Food Fight! redux] The first time a breach into a certain reality of interested is detected, it is in a liminal reality populated by store product mascots, and it wouldn't even have been possible to detect without a coincidence. An overweight mother of three was carrying a bucket of KFC into the store for reasons only stressed middleaged minds can fathom, and her ungodly shrieking spawn knocked it flying behind the orange shelves. And the underpaid janny wasn't being paid enough to clean behind the fruit section. So day went by, night came, and I left the physical world of the humans for the metaphysical world of food mascots only to find an unexpected stranger. "KFC! Eat yer KFC, it's finger-lickin' goooooood!" shouted an orange haired girl "Burgers! Did someone order a burger? I'm here to deliver a burger before that DAMN penguin!" shouted a redhead. I turned away from Dex the anthropomorphic dog, who was currently interviewing me about a missing chocolate squirrel. "Halt. You there. You're not human, and you're not even animal. Identify yourselves" I demanded. "I'm Croissant!" said the orange haired girl. I scanned the internet and trademark records in all possible timelines. "False. There are NO brands of croissant registering you as a mascot. What ARE you?" I demanded, scanning her. "I-I'm Croissant!" "You. Are not. a Croissant" "No, my NAME is Croissant! I-I-I work for a penguin!" Hmm. Interesting. That made more sense. Some of the food mascots here didn't have clear analogues to IRL brands, I mused as the flustered girl tried to hide behind the other. But working for a penguin? That fit this world better. "And you. What's YOUR name?" "Oh, I'm Exusiai. I'm just here to make a delivery" "To who?" Exusiai opened her mouth. She shut it. She suddenly fainted. 1/4 By the time Dex had chivalrously found her some smelling thoughts, I had used interdimensional wavelength resonance to determine what reality these strange entities had originated from. I had also read their minds to gain information about it.Apparently Exusiai was a "Sankta" and The Being That Was Not A Croissant was a "Forte" which all seemed like kemomimi subspecies. At least, to the mortal eye. It was obvious Exusiai had been heavily modified by some sort of advanced technology, while Croissant seemed to have at least a partially human genome. I spent the rest of the day interrogating Exusiai and Not A Croissant about their reality, learning many peculiar things, before vibrating them to their home. [Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege redux] The second time contact is made with the other world, it is when Team Rainbow loses contact with the main base after pursuing a Russian scientist. As the leading expert in interdimensional dynamics, I am brought in to retrieve them. There is something hauntingly familiar about this world. There are more beast people, and it is clear they are in great pain. We encountered mutated animals and infected natives, which were all clearly infected by the local black crystal residue. The natives we spoke to stared at me awestruck when I quickly cured it. I recognise it. It is a form of my own Ichor Omega developed under a very different paradigm. The scientist was quickly retrieved thanks to a drone-mounted black hole fulton. As we left, the natives mentioned an organisation.

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Rhode Island. There is [someone] in charged(?) of that location that I dimly perceive as an extension of myself. I realise that Wanderer is in effect. A lifeform of relatively insignificant stature-or rather, a once significant mover and shaker-is an aspect of myself, but is inert|amnesiac, like an anglerfish's lure yet to be shaken. How curious. 2/4 [Monster Hunter redux] On the third time contact was made, I knew enough to use Wanderer. Eyes opened in another world, and with my superior Imperial will coursing through the mortal body I remembered everything. I remembered shaping life on a celestial scale, as the luminary of an advanced human species. I remembered making contact with a woman who would become my greatest betrayer and ally. I remembered falling in love with the species I came to destroy to feed the construct I had created, I remembered orchestrating a war like a master conductor, and I remembered a former ally wiping away my memories in the hopes I would become a better man. I REMEMBERED THE OBSERVERS. "Doctor? Doctor, are you okay?" asked the beastgirl called Amiya. "This farce has gone on for long enough" I said, rising to new feet. This form needed more exercise. I gestured. The Ichor Omega subtype-that which the natives called "Originium"-bent to my will, gathering in clusters as I refined it in my grasp. "D-doctor, you're scaring me!" "No matter. I am going to deal with another matter first" We found the Rathanos before it could be killed. I soothed the beast. My mastery of the so-called Originium extracted the worst of it's ravages from it's flesh, and I vibrated it home. All before the rest of the "First things first" I told her, "while...resourceful, this substrate is critically underutilised". I conjured up a Wisdom Cube. I stuck it into the Originium. "Lacking in scope". I conjured a mass of QP. I stuck it into the Originium. "Limited by the hostile conditions of this reality". I conjured a data chip containing all alchemical formulae known to me. I stuck it in the Originium. And I acted again and again, until at last I had a lump of crystal that glowed white instead of black. "Hold onto this" I commanded Amiya, as I left this world, "I'll be back for it" I was told later Rhode Island's medical officer went into hysterics when she heard what I'd done. 3/4 I immediately looked for more sources of Originium in other timelines. Conveniently, the nearest one was also another Amiya. One suffering a prolonged form of PTSD. I stood in her path as she tried to subsume me into her Originium network. "You're conscious. This can't be. They're all gone" she said, hollowly. "This substrate is hardcoded not to affect me" She tried again and again. But I didn't hold it against her anymore than I held the Rathanos' aggression against it. Slowly I approached her, even as the terror mounted in her when her greatest weapon was mine and mine alone. Every living thing on this world was but a primitive animal barking at each other, blissfully unaware of the true threats. "Come now" I said, patting her on the head, "you can't get rid of me, and I'm not letting you go. Why don't you help me save the world for a hot meal?" And I accepted the conclusion this avatar of mine had arrived at, that too much animal cruelty had already come to pass for too little payoff. [Delicious in Dungeon redux] There is no hesitation this time. The moment a native breaches into the other world, I followed. This time, I went off the beaten track and made contact through the so-called opinion. "Well, well. Have you finally stopped playing around?" asked the human known here as the Priestess. I tossed her the perfected Ichor Omega extract. "I could ask you the same. Stop experimenting on random things, and study this" I tossed her a protoshinmaic vortex in a containment unit "and this instead" Her eyebrows rose. "That's quite a claim!" "One I expect you to verify before getting in my way. Morality is one matter" I said, gesturing to the Other Amiya surfing a tide of Ichor Omega towards me, "but another is that we need all the help we can get against the Observers. And you know it. Once we've dealt with these...Observers, we can discuss your personal betrayal of me. In detail" I left her still poking the PSV, to start unifying this world. 4/4

>>21628 [Doctor Who redux] >Previously on Yugioh: See bunkerchan's chain writing thread, it's too big to post without PDFs "I have terrible news" I announced, stepping over writhing veins, "the next space-time anomaly is located in Space Eurovision" "What" said Elodie, phasing through a long line of hulking vampire women lurching down a throat-shaped corridor. Walking the coils of my daughter to navigate time was not unlike Logrus-walking, except instead of my instinctive zealous contempt for eldritch horror I was just filled with an overwhelming urge to tell my girl to clean her room. And arteries. "A bit over a century into the future Eurovision has somehow spread throughout the entire universe, Graham Norton is preserved there as a hologram, and Rylan Clark was apparently cyrogenically frozen to serve as a host. Unsurprisingly, the company running this entire operation is a dystopian operation that makes Arasaka and L-Corp look like rank amateurs. It can and has literally rendered a planet named Hellia uninhabitable to monopolise the honey FLAVOURING flowers on it, and spread rumours about Hellions ranging from psychic powers to literally being demons" I explained. "Oh, and the Zygons finally found a new planet" "That's...what, just. What" said Wimey. "Eh, at least they're not throwing little girls into torturous power suits" said Nine philosophically. "Or trying to rewrite the universe with the power of sacrificed timelines" said Mashu thoughtfully. "Or actively milking the suffering of the universes to feed cruel titans" said Polaris resignedly. "Sometimes I really hate capitalism even though most of the alternatives are worse" said Elodie. "I do not know who any of those people are" said Grail bluntly. "The important thing is that British pop culture has taken over the universe" I told her. Grail thought about that. "I hate capitalism too now" she said. 1/4 The dystopian company who owned the universe's entertainment complex, maintained a wholesome image through the promotion of virtue-signalling popstars, and actively slandered any former employee speaking out about it's practices was conveniently named the Company. Because calling it anything else would invite comparisons to a certain other company that was keeping the show Doctor Who afloat. The funny thing was, I dimly thought as I looked for an old lady to murder in the stands only to also notice a Hellion terrorist double act about to hijack the overdesigned space station and deactivate the extravagantly exposed forcefields to space everyone to death, then murder trillions of people out of spite for their indifference and/or ignorance to Hellia's genocide, that wasn't even the most apt metaphor for this situation. "Oh god, this just like the illegal West Bank settlements" said Elodie suddenly. Grail looked at her funny, then blinked. "Oh. I see it now. Moroccanoil. The Israeli politics" "I am shocked you bother keeping up with modern geopolitics" said Elodie. "Master, remind Elodie you sent me there to take control of the area" said Grail, sighing. Elodie froze. "...for which side, Grail?" she asked. "Sides?" asked Grail, tilting her head. "The covenant with God was extremely clear" I said, raising a finger. "The Promised Land belongs to the Lilim. To the monstergirls. The tribes of Judah can cope about it. Now. I assume you want to intercept the terrorists?" Elodie tried to think of several ways to respond to that statement, gave up, and said "I would very much appreciate it if we stopped the terrorists before axing another old lady, please and thank you" "We have enough people on this team to do both" I pointed out. All of a sudden Wimey suddenly had a strange vision, while Polaris and Nine apprehended the old woman just as Elodie and Grail dealt with the terrorists. 2/4

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In her vision, a more male, and yet somehow much more effeminate Doctor making hardlight holograms to torture the terrorist with electric shock while threatening to cast him out into the void of space. Who coincidentally resembled what was probably a 62 year old British man's idea of a British school suitor, so kind of a punky look. This is in spite of the fact that there are both male and female Hellions, and that the episode ended with the black female Hellion who spends the episode crying about Hellion discrimination despite cooperating with the very company responsible for genociding her planet singing a heartfelt song native to said planet...but not explicitly exposing the genocide. Somehow, this cheered up one of the terrorists "Blimey, what a strange vision!" said Wimey. "Why did that version of myself get THAT worked up when he was willing to forgive the Barber instantly for inflicting a terrible fate on Earth? What was that FLIRTING with a married gay couple in the middle of a dangerous crisis about? Why did he call the terrorist 'babes' and 'honey'? WHAT WAS THAT HEART ICE METAPHOR?!" "Sorry, what?" asked Elodie. "We just shipped them off to the space police" "And we're another old lady down" said Grail. "Er, g-good" she said nervously. Then blinking, she scanned the blood on Grail's axe. "Wait a minute. This is TIME LADY DNA" Grail's eyes widened. "Oh NO. " One portal later, we were ready to bear witness to the bi-generation of Mrs. Flood and THE RANI. "Too late again Doctor, it's finally time for me to make you DIE IN TERROR!" they cackled, the elder white woman Rani instantly turning into a submissive toady for the young Indian Rani. Who to be fair, kind of had a point about asserting herself as the real Rani. "I'm not the Doctor actually, I'm the Timeless Child" pointed out Wimey. 3/4 The Rani did a spit take. "NO! You're the DOCTOR, do you have any idea how long I've planned this grandiose vengeance on you?!" "I am legitimately happier and more fulfilled as myself than I am as WHATEVER those last two incarnations of myself are" said Wimey, firmly. The Rani blinked at that. "...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that so my unspecified destructive motivations for you have more dignity, and I'm just going to focus on avenging Gallifrey's entire civilisation being retconned out of existence by him" she said, pointing at me. "Fair enough. Kill you soon" I said, popping the hologram that the Rani had been using to simulate past events since she'd gotten the hell out of time-dodge from the moment we'd arrived. "Now. What did we learn today?" "Corporations are callous and unfeeling until they sponsor the fine arts, at which point they can do no wrong?" suggested Nine, staring at a billboard. "Washing your hands of moral culpability is okay if you sing your heart about it after, even if it profits your oppresors?" said Mashu, sounding physically sick. "Holding your companies to account is the path of true capitalism" said Elodie, handing me a data chip. "Bingo" I said, using my sonic screwdriver to broadcast it across the universe. We proceeded to utterly crash the space entertainment industry complex and blacklist the Interstellar Song Contest by exposing all information about Hellia's genocide, something no character in the actual fucking episode bothered to do. The space economy gave a great big lurch as the Company was audited so hard no golden parachute could save it's suits from space criminality. It was a hard choice. But as Grail said, sometimes you had to just bite the bullet and do a little genuine justice for the universe, to properly savour the satisfaction of erasing Br*tish pop culture from it. 4/4

[Fate/Grand Order redux] As I stared out across the desolation of the interim Crystal Avalon I had erected across the Bleached Earth except where the surviving Crypters' nonaggression pacts formed boundaries, I noticed a subtle yet profound change in the operation of Chaldea's infrastructure. All nine instances of it. From the boundless depths of my empyrean furnace soul to the outermost oscillations of my conceptual being, I was offended beyond speech or response. And I noticed some of my minions had noticed the shift as well, and were trying to figure out how to break the news to me too. "Mashu, you tell him" stage-whispered E-Olga Flare. "I really don't think that's a good idea right now. Or ever" stage-whispered Mashu. "Can't we just put this off for a few days-no, weeks?" begged Kama. "Mwee!" said U-ORT-Liz. "Let's all take a moment to calm down, and get a third opinion. I wonder if Goetia-san has any useful advice" mused Fou. "Where is he, anyway?" "Drinking heavily, in my theatre no less" said Draco, with a sad shake of her head. "He told me he foresaw this and now he needs to un-foresee it as soon as possible" "...oh. Understandable" Grail snorted, then strode boldly past all of them. "You might as well tell him" she said casually over her shoulder, "he most definitely already knows". Mashu hurriedly ran in front of her, belatedly running back to get back her shield. It was an understandable reaction, really. Unnecessary with how numb I'd grown to absurdity, but understandable. We'd just resolved the fourth and final (if only) Ordeal Call singularity, each of which I thought of less in terms of "resolving" and more "failing with extreme prejudice" in defiance of the Human Order's last spasms. And I was not in a good mood after this one had been enough of a clusterfuck to draw the attention of the one outside actor I'd hoped would stay in his lane rather than interfere with my war against Nyarlathotep. "Master, I've come to report something you're probably aware of already" she began. "Does it have anything to do with THIS inexplicable hourglass I can use to reset the Class Scores at the cost of an enormous QP expenditure?" I asked calmly. "Yes. Yes it does" said Grail, bracing herself. "Does it have anything to do with the fact that" I said, turning around with such fury in my eyes that the ground turned to molten metal and night turned to day "we inexplicably have the potential capacity to manufacture GRAND SERVANTS, the very tools the Human Order tried to slay me with?" Grail drew forth one arm to block the incandescent fury coming off me. "....yes" "And does it have anything to do with the inexplicable phenomena of having to defeat other Sabers in an unspecified environment in order to unlock this Grand Saber-manufacturing capacity?" I said, drawing close to her like a red giant about to run over a dwarf star. "Yes. Yes, master. Yes it does" said Grail calmly as Mashu timidly tried to stick a shield in the way. All of a sudden my fires went out and with serene, calm tenderness I patted the shaven side of her head. "Well, it was very thoughtful of you to bring this to my attention even though I already knew thanks to the curse of EX Rank Revelation and Clairvoyance. So thank you, Grail. But I prefer to look on the bright side of things. A weapon is a weapon, eh? Remember the Moon Cell?" "Ah, I remember now" she said, with a rueful grin. "You used your higher dimensional primal human form to fabricate your own Grands, inspired by BB's own High Servant process. Except only for Extra Classes" "Exactly! Let's just do what we always do when an absurdity comes our way: Ignore the context, and focus on application. Let's just treat it like any weapon and seize it by the hilt, ignoring the fact that the Human Order seems to be trying to BRIBE me from beyond the grave" I said, walking off. Grail turned to the others and silently threw up her hands in exasperation to show there was nothing to worry about. "See?" she told the others, "you just have to talk to him" "Y-yeah, you were right, he's taking this really well!" said Mashu. Then to me added, "Senpai, let us know when you're ready to select your Sabers for collecting the Mystical Worship Chicken!" I froze in my tracks. Suddenly, even Grail looked nervous as all fell silent around me, like the calm before the storm. I was trying very, very hard not to think about this one specific fact, The catalyst for the greatest exemplars among Servants of their classes. The certification of authority to wield a Grand Servant. And the name of this crystalised miracle was...

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Mystical. Worship. Chicken. "...okay, THAT may have been a step too far" muttered Grail. With a scream of pure rage at a world that refused to make any goddamn sense, I let out a calamitous Eschaton Lock-level blast across the universe and blew up a random Outer God so hard that chunks of it scattered across space and time, damned to be dissipated across dozens of GUDAGUDA events where it's pieces would be cooked into bento by wandering mini-Nobbus.

[Fate/Grand Order redux] As I stared out across the desolation of the interim Crystal Avalon I had erected across the Bleached Earth except where the surviving Crypters' nonaggression pacts formed boundaries, I noticed a subtle yet profound change in the operation of Chaldea's infrastructure. All nine instances of it. From the boundless depths of my empyrean furnace soul to the outermost oscillations of my conceptual being, I was offended beyond speech or response. And I noticed some of my minions had noticed the shift as well, and were trying to figure out how to break the news to me too. "Mashu, you tell him" stage-whispered E-Olga Flare. "I really don't think that's a good idea right now. Or ever" stage-whispered Mashu. "Can't we just put this off for a few days-no, weeks?" begged Kama. "Mwee!" said U-ORT-Liz. "Let's all take a moment to calm down, and get a third opinion. I wonder if Goetia-san has any useful advice" mused Fou. "Where is he, anyway?" "Drinking heavily, in my theatre no less" said Draco, with a sad shake of her head. "He told me he foresaw this and now he needs to un-foresee it as soon as possible" "...oh. Understandable" Grail snorted, then strode boldly past all of them. "You might as well tell him" she said casually over her shoulder, "he most definitely already knows". Mashu hurriedly ran in front of her, belatedly running back to get back her shield. It was an understandable reaction, really. Unnecessary with how numb I'd grown to absurdity, but understandable. We'd just resolved the fourth and final (if only) Ordeal Call singularity, each of which I thought of less in terms of "resolving" and more "failing with extreme prejudice" in defiance of the Human Order's last spasms. And I was not in a good mood after this one had been enough of a clusterfuck to draw the attention of the one outside actor I'd hoped would stay in his lane rather than interfere with my war against Nyarlathotep. "Master, I've come to report something you're probably aware of already" she began. "Does it have anything to do with THIS inexplicable hourglass I can use to reset the Class Scores at the cost of an enormous QP expenditure?" I asked calmly. "Yes. Yes it does" said Grail, bracing herself. "Does it have anything to do with the fact that" I said, turning around with such fury in my eyes that the ground turned to molten metal and night turned to day "we inexplicably have the potential capacity to manufacture GRAND SERVANTS, the very tools the Human Order tried to slay me with?" Grail drew forth one arm to block the incandescent fury coming off me. "....yes" "And does it have anything to do with the inexplicable phenomena of having to defeat other Sabers in an unspecified environment in order to unlock this Grand Saber-manufacturing capacity?" I said, drawing close to her like a red giant about to run over a dwarf star. "Yes. Yes, master. Yes it does" said Grail calmly as Mashu timidly tried to stick a shield in the way. All of a sudden my fires went out and with serene, calm tenderness I patted the shaven side of her head. "Well, it was very thoughtful of you to bring this to my attention even though I already knew thanks to the curse of EX Rank Revelation and Clairvoyance. So thank you, Grail. But I prefer to look on the bright side of things. A weapon is a weapon, eh? Remember the Moon Cell?" "Ah, I remember now" she said, with a rueful grin. "You used your higher dimensional primal human form to fabricate your own Grands, inspired by BB's own High Servant process. Except only for Extra Classes" "Exactly! Let's just do what we always do when an absurdity comes our way: Ignore the context, and focus on application. Let's just treat it like any weapon and seize it by the hilt, ignoring the fact that the Human Order seems to be trying to BRIBE me from beyond the grave" I said, walking off. Grail turned to the others and silently threw up her hands in exasperation to show there was nothing to worry about. "See?" she told the others, "you just have to talk to him" "Y-yeah, you were right, he's taking this really well!" said Mashu. Then to me added, "Senpai, let us know when you're ready to select your Sabers for collecting the Mystical Worship Chicken!" I froze in my tracks. Suddenly, even Grail looked nervous as all fell silent around me, like the calm before the storm. I was trying very, very hard not to think about this one specific fact, The catalyst for the greatest exemplars among Servants of their classes. The certification of authority to wield a Grand Servant. And the name of this crystalised miracle was...

[Expand Post]

Mystical. Worship. Chicken. "...okay, THAT may have been a step too far" muttered Grail. With a scream of pure rage at a world that refused to make any goddamn sense, I let out a calamitous Eschaton Lock-level blast across the universe and blew up a random Outer God so hard that chunks of it scattered across space and time, damned to be dissipated across dozens of GUDAGUDA events where it's pieces would be cooked into bento by wandering mini-Nobbus.

>>26660 >ignoring the fact that the Human Order seems to be trying to BRIBE me from beyond the grave I ended up realizing something about this that I found morbidly hilarious. While the goal of the Human Order is the survival of humanity it considered the creation of a successor a valid method (as proven by that Archetype nonsense). Meanwhile the rules of the nasuverse mean that everything will end, but your Jumper isn't completely bound by those rules. Which means that from the Human Order might actually consider your Jumper growing in power through the extermination of the human race and the destruction of itself the best path for the long term survival of humanity. Which if so means that if it is trying to bribe your Jumper the goal is less 'Please don't kill me' and "You should loot my corpse."

>>26660 >Mystical Worship Chicken The day humanity successfully trolled Shard's Jumper from beyond the grave.

[Jujutsu Kaisen: The Heian Era redux] Drawbacks: Stay in Era, Rebirth, Stalker, Endless Battle, Age of Legend, Cutting Board, Ah, Yes (2100) Clan Sorcerer, Ryomen Sukuna Jujutsu Sorcery (1800) Prodigy (1400) Cursed Technique: Me-horaga (800) Lover (Free) Might Makes Right (Free) Black Flash (600) Vengeful Curse (300) Sorceress Harem (100) Foreign Imports and Native Exports (0) -Cursed Wretch, Jujutsu Sorcery (700), Cursed Technique: Divine Waves (100), Cruelty (Free), Chef (Free), Malevolent Kitchen (Free), Lover (0) Malevolent Kitchen (Free) It suddenly occurred to me that not!Ibuki's CT is literally just a stronger version of Dagon's. Actually even with stronger waves and storms it's hard to imagine a stronger water/wind-based CT than Dagon's. Other than being ludicrously more efficient, versatile and larger scale I imagine it summons eight very powerful fire-breathing giant snake shinigami with unique gimmicks that synergise with the base CT, and also instead of seafood it summons onis. Small girl-shaped onis. >>26768 >Archetype Inception >Mooncancer is a sanctioned and valued class even though it is effectively just more regulated Beasts and includes among it's members potential Beasts AND Star Eaters >"You should loot my corpse" said Alaya while Gaia screams in horror GOD FUCKING DAMMIT >>26928 One can only assume this random fucking chicken has the Authority of Sabers for some reason.

>>24047 [Doctor Who redux] As the Rani stormed off in a huff I counted to ten, then turned to Yssgaroth's most gleeful three-lobed eye. "Should we tell them now?" "You should probably tell them now" agreed Polaris "Might as well" I sighed, turning back to the rest of the party who were not literal gods or embodiments of time. "So, you're probably curious what exactly the Rani's plan was, and why it's even capable of interfering with" I said, patting one of Yssgaroth's branes "my universe-daughter. And I DEFINITELY think we should all understand what we're getting into instead of charging in half-cocked" "Y-eah, I've been thinking that over for some time" said Wimey thoughtfully, "like you'd need a power from beyond the universe right? Otherwise distorting the universe WITH the forces of the universe-that's kind of like opening a box with the crowbar inside it!" "Exactly" I waved my sonic screwdriver around to reveal a site straight out of an edgy Snow White remake. It's 1860s Bavaria. The Rani is riding on horseback to an isolated cottage, where the seventh son of a seventh son is born, posing as a midwife. She kisses the boy's forehead a few times, then turns the wife into flowers, the children into ducks and the husband into an owl by puffing baby-kiss powered air at them "WOT" said Wimey, loudly and britishly. She turned blankly to the others. "For the record, nothing that just happened had anything to do with Time Lord technology" "Thank you for clarifying" said Grail, "because New God technology and Amazon magic could have done that too" "Ha! Wait...wait you are joking, right?" "I too have sought the power of babies for great and terrible deeds" said Grail, giving Wimey her best shit-eating grin. "For the sake of my sanity I'm choosing to believe you're joking" said Wimely faintly. "So, what was the Rani hoping to achieve with all this?" "Oh, to turn you straight" "WOT" 1/4 Wimey let out a flood of disbelieving expletives before saving my screwdriver around again, I showed a simulacrum of the Rani's plans: In a timeline where I hadn't saved the Timeless Child, the Doctor awakening the Pantheon of Discord allowed the MOST POWERFUL GOD OF ALL to come into existence: Desidirium, the God of Wishes, who entered the universe with both the form and mind of the aforementioned baby. But not being truly all-powerful. Explicitly not powerful enough to CREATE a world-an Earth-sized world by all accounts. So the Rani sought a way to amplify his wishing powers using time travelling beacons the Doctor had used to try to navigate himself and a very reluctant companion back home which bolstered Desidirium-powerscalers pay attention to this part-A BILLION SUPERNOVAS to create a shitty version of Earth where cups fall off tables for no reason, giant skeletal half-real beasts roam the streets and Conrad (an anti-government podcaster) was ruling as God. Given Desidirum to care for, Conrad had used the wish god's powers to enforce his terrible alt-right chud vision of reality on the planet: Homosexuality was erased from existence, cripples/mutes/deafs were treated like untouchables (nevermind why Conrad didn't just...wish away the concept of physical impairment), and the Doctor had a daughter with his Indian companion despite being a formerly gay man. Also his gay crush from the 1800s was stuck in a hell dimension for some reason ... "This is the stupidest evil plan in the history of stupid evil plans" said Elodie, finally, "and I was there when you talked the Condiment King out of squirting mustard at Hal Jordan" "I vote we rush in and slap the Rani's shit for the sheer audacity of wasting a wish like this" said Wimey. "This isn't a democracy and I'm not done delivering vital exposition" I said. "They're already leaving" said Polaris gently. "I know" I said, with a further sigh. 2/4 By the time I had reached the Rani's bone and clockwork palace full of Dune navigator expies, Elodie and the others had entered into a tense standoff with the Rani, who had somehow asspulled a time lock (which made about as much sense as anything else in this shitshow). It looked like a wall of translucent bones, apparently the Rani really dug Faction Paradox fashion now. My companions should have been able to punch through it, but suddenly everything devolved into Elodie, Mashu and Wimey holding back Grail from unleashing catastrophic collateral damage with the Omega Effect while Nine drank a soda, and Yssgaroth opened the way for me and Polaris to come in. "Okay so BEFORE I inevitably outsmart you with a combination of my wits and your OW" said Polaris, trying to exploit Grail's genetic Amazon weakness to bondage with the famous plot device TARDIS rope. "arrogance, why don't you tell us why you're doing this?"

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"Oh, isn't it obvious?" said the Rani. "I miss the sexual tension we used to have back when you were white and male" "You've got to be shitting me!" "Ohhhh Doctor" purred the Rani, somehow managing to look striking in a non-sexualised Dr. Eggman outfit, "I've been girding my loins for our regularly scheduled duel of wits ever since you decided the MASTER was the only Time Lord you were allowed to make fuck-eyes at! What, is the arrogant scientist lady thing not doing it for you? You just HAD to go with a deranged power bottom? So of course I had to fix you. From being gay. And now female. And homosexual. And worst of all" she said, curling her lip in disappointment "not even a real Time Lord, yet" "But none of those events happened! I was never the Doctor!" "Indeed, Doctor" sneered the Rani. "Then how?!" "Our storied conflict has devolved to using folklore to commune with gods, that's how. I have a wish-granting baby, learning things that never happened is trivial!" 3/4 "And you left that god in the arms of a delusional manchild podcaster practically set up by the universe to fail" I said flatly, "and you don't think that could possibly go wrong?" "Pish posh! It going wrong is the whole point!" "Here we go" I muttered. "For you see, this world was NEVER meant to last! Built on unstable foundations, I was always going to sunder it...with doubt. That's right, openly disagreeing with and disbelieving in this facade is not just possible in my dystopia, but WELCOMED. And a Time Lord's doubt can outright crack this world open!" The Rani posed dramatically, then deflated. "This would've been a good time for you, the DOCTOR, to reaffirm your history, but since you're having trouble getting it up, this time" she complained, "I'LL get on top...of managing this scheme. AHEM" The Rani took a deep breath, then shouted into a cosmic loudspeaker "THE DOCTOR IS WHITE! THE DOCTOR IS STRAIGHT! THE DOCTOR IS BRITISH-CODED!" And the doubt of a Time Lord started tearing reality apart. That's. That's the subtext the show presents: That calling out NuWho lore can and will destroy it's core premise as RTD sees it "WHY?!" screamed Wimey. "Hey, remember Omega?" I said as a sonorous voice echoed from the psychedelic purple void swallowing up Earth. "That's right! The First Time Lord, with whom I shall now exact my terrible revenge on you, Doctor, for no longer TREATING ME AS YOUR FAVOURITE FEMME FATALE!" said the Rani triumphantly. ... "Can we at least agree that Dimensions In Time was dogshit?" I said finally. "Oh, yes, absolutely" conceded the Rani. "I was going through a child-hating phase, and I'm pretty sure whoever sold me that TARDIS and cloning technology ripped me off. And I still have no idea how I breached reality to access the EastEnders universe" 4/4

[Rick and Morty] I conquered another universe today. It wasn't a very remarkable universe. I mean, the dominant sentient race was turkeys, but it was normal otherwise. It's still now. Everything's in working order. Just like my Vex's simulations.. Sometimes I wondered why I kept coming back to this one particular universe. It's not like it even had the Rickest Rick, we offed that guy a while back. it's not like Ricks were even that big a deal after Evil Morty (I checked our standing nonaggression pact. Still intact, little guy was content with just chilling at his interdimensional mansion) shattered the Central Finite Curve. It was like dropping sugar on anthills just to see what the ants would do, I suppose. And to have a frame of reference for all the other phenomena across the multiverse. I was dimly aware that increasingly, whenever I visited the family was in a bigger and bigger shambles. Jerry had two lesbian wives and still managed to feel emasculated. Summer was increasingly erratic. Beth was just a simmering cauldron of anger and thwarted dreams. Morty was, well, internalising PTSD constantly. And Rick was increasingly self-aware about what a wreck his life was. It reminded me of what happened to the family of Family Guy, way back in the Sitcom Dimension. And here, I thought, as I stood on my favourite hill staring off into the distance while Morty came up to talk to me, came the first ant. "H-hey man, you got a m-minute?" he said. "For you, Morty? Always" I told him. "So.Killdozer, huh? Been a while since that was culturally relevant" "A-aw jeez, I keep forgetting you're omniscient, sometimes I swear you do too" groaned Morty, pinching his little Morty-face. "Okay so you know-so you know-you know what I wanna talk to you about, r-right?" "Is this about CJ and the simulations you died fighting side by side with him in?" "...yeah. Yeah, it's about CJ" 1/3 Morty explained that his grandfather had put him and Summer into a "Matrix" to punish them for taking his phone charger, during which Summer had become a tech tycoon/dictator and Morty had gone to prison, befriended a fireman, and ultimately lost him in a war against infamous middle eastern terrorist leader Osama Bin Chargin. "So what I'm taking from this is the writers don't dare use topical modern geopolitical references both because of the potential blowback and because like everyone else they want to go back to 2005, that your grandfather can't be arsed to invent zero point energy or something" I said finally, "and that you want me to resurrect your simulated friend" "Honestly man I don't even know what Rick can or can't do on a given day, and neither do the wri-WAIT, w-what!?" squealed Morty. "D-don't fuck with me! He's data! DATA! I swear if this is another Rick-style gag-" "Morty have I literally ever said anything but the most literal takes on the situation to you" I said flatly, "your grandfather bullshits hard enough for all of us as we both know it" "...fair enough, I'm sorry, I just. I just miss him so bad" said Morty, tearing up. I took Morty back to the universe I just conquered, which happened to be overrun by Vex. Firing up a turkey-shaped Vex, I scanned Morty's brainwaves for all the data about CJ, then silently handed Morty a Wisdom Cube to hold. I then proceeded to summon CJ as a pseudo-Servant into a humanoid body formed by the Wisdom Cube as remembered by- "-where am I? What just happened?!" shouted an armed man. "CJ you're alive I'm me I'm Morty war's over uh and your life was a simulation and the simulation's over and god I'm glad to see you!!!" babbled Morty. "Oh. Well. Alright, good to see you too man!" said CJ. Half an hour of war buddy drinking later, Morty came back to me and asked "Anon, is that guy real or just a really good simulation?" 2/3 "Oh, he's real. Like, he is objectively the same reference point of data you interacted with in the simulation, same electrons and everything, just unfurled into higher dimensions" I explained.

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"...do you think I'm being selfish?" "Why? For giving him existence?" "For defining it around me! D'you think I, I have a moral duty to people from simulations if they're simulations of things I want? Like brotherhood" "Morty, look at the Vex" I said patiently. "They built a simulation and fit reality to it. They simulate until the simulation can interact with reality. And before you had any hand in CJ being simulated, he was simulated to be your friend by your grandad's shitty Matrix. You're not taking advantage of him. You're giving him the chance to contextualise his purpose in life" Morty gave me a hug. "You're the best sometimes, man. Just. Just, the best" "So...no killdozer?" "Nah. Killdozers are so last...jesus it's been a while" said Morty, chuckle-crying. "By the way, you should know your sister manipulated you into the war she started to get enough simulation-lithium to break you both out of Rick's halfassed Matrix" "Oh? Yeah, makes sense. I'm not even mad at this point. Typical Summer" he said, shrugging. "And you?" "Y'know what? I'm good. It's about damn time we all stopped repeating the same character arcs" Morty went home, still mentally 40 and one helluva gadgeteer for it, and just stared bemused as his mom came back from staking some middleaged vampire ladies and Summer trauma dumped for a while before getting brainrinced by Rick's Character Development Erasure Tool. Smiling to himself, he set up a small bench in his room and started to build strange and wondrous things, the bargain bin version of Rick's gadgets he'd learned from the simulation. The ant had taken it's sugar back to the colony. I withdrew coolly in search of another universe to conquer. 3/3

>>23918 [Monster Hunter Wilds redux] "Don't need that..." The other hunters stared in confusion at me. "Don't need that" "Groo?", went one of the Even Bigger And Hungrier Deviljhos I'd manifested into existence. "Don't need that" Grandmeowster gave me a pointed look. "But of course, I'll take it anyway" I added hastily, packing up the twelfth of several home-cooked meals before cutting a hole in reality. "Gar, Blaize, Elodie, Brigit, Fair Eyes. C'mere for a sec. I'm going on a diplomatic mission" "To where, master?" asked Gar. "Adjacent reality. Local avatar's already established a foothold there. The situation is..." We entered the Arknights universe, where one Amiya was hugging another Amiya and crying. "...complicated" I said finally. Elodie's elation that I expressly told her I didn't want to commit genocide or erase free will (well, my specific words were "there's no point") turned to mounting concern when I manually disabled the Rhodes Island AI, and announced that I was in fact the closest thing this pathetic planet had to God. And as God, I added, I had a responsibility to right several wrongs after being misled by heretics. I spent the next few days synthesising, proving and distributing a cure for Oripathy. Pills, injections and surgeries would take too long, so I jerryrigged a tonal physics projector with a Medi-Gun made to run off Orichalcum instead of Australium and started shooting healing beams at basically anyone affected by Oripathy. I was even able to make a few settings that could cure the strange cases of AI-augmented autism that Gar quickly informed me were NOT considered a disease in this world despite it objectively being just as unnatural an augmentation, but whatever. I wasn't going to argue with good press. Having learned that this world DIDN'T have firearms which did not run on Originium, as a bit of stick to the carrot I also started covertly manufacturing and blackboxing such weapons. 1/6 My approach to diplomacy after declaring godhood was simple: I repeatedly proved that I could bend Originium to my will. If the crowds of Oripathy victims flocking in my general direction to be cured was considered too naive for the hardscrabble factions of this world, then covertly offering various independent groups cheap, effective, easy to manufacture weapons (except for the damned Columbians) manufactured to be almost on par with Originium ones was a surefire way to buy loyalty under the table. It was a simple domino effect: People came for the cure, stayed for the logistical advantages, and went home with the very sober understanding that I can and would maintain constant surveillance and communication with them through the Originium. I waved a lot of carrots around in the open, and let the would-be powers-that-be know they came with a heavy stick. And continuously overrode the command protocols of a self-declared Priestess trying to convince me to just subsume everything in between pointless questions about the new resources I'd given her. The first major opposition we faced was from a movement that was, ironically, also purporting to be trying to liberate and treat fairly with Oripathy victims. They were thrown for a loop when a provable cure sapped away much of their mainstream appeal, and some of my agents (instead of running errands for random groups) instead started leaking intelligence that Tallulah was conspiring to destroy Lungmen-as well as the wildest, goofiest conspiracies about this group being a falseflag operation controlled by Kazdel. Live footage of enemy leaders named MEPHISTO and SKULLSHATTERER gunning down civilians didn't help. It came to the point where the group's leader, Tallulah, called me to the negotiations table seeing no real options after her own group became increasingly concerned with taking care of the infected coming in droves to my faction. 2/6 Before she had time to make a single demand, I used Mind Crush to destroy the ultranationalist puppeteering her body. Soon afterwards, the Reunion Movement declared itself an ally of Rhodes Island. My next major enemy faction was a militant resistance group that was ALSO a Kazdel falseflag operation. Seriously I didn't even have to try for compelling anti-Kazdel propaganda, I just used Originium to get all the numbers, dates and dropoff points then told people what was happening word for word, and left the racially divided populations to make up their own alt-right Kazdelphobic theories. In this faction's case, it was once again being sponsored to take the heat off Kazdel for it's warmongering ways. Conveniently the faction already had serious infighting. Their commander was already leaning towards joining forces with the Duke of Wellington against Kazdel, and accelerated towards this choice once I declared that Rhode Island formerly recognised the Dracos as the rightful rulers of Victoria and wished to extended goodwill gifts of Oripathy cures, food, Oripathy cures, gun-mounted drones, Oripathy cures, an alternate stream of finances and a gentle reminder that Oripathy could in fact be cured. Their leader, Eblana, had a strong streak of malevolence but also an earnest desire to rule, and after entering negotiations we surprisingly decided to work with each other's plan.

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We ended up orchestrating our own reverse-falseflag operation. With my faction's support Eblana took over and very publicly executed several members of Victorian nobility...then pining the blame of the atrocities on six traitors, a fanatic and Eblana herself. Longshinny's takeover came with a promise of coexistence, while covertly Eblana and (after a lot of arguing and eventually Eblana spelling out the entire faction being a crock of shit she was trying to repent for) the fanatic took new identities under my employment as deniable assets. 3/6 By then, the Kazdel Empire was up shit creek without a paddle. Due to testimony from the Reunion Movement, increasing international attention, testimony from Dublinn (the Draco supremacy faction), growing public realisation that Rhodes Island was once again being controlled by a tactician who seemed to know the location of every supply line before it was even plotted, and the public acknowledge of a cure for Originium, it's Military Commission was panicking that it's plans of genocide were going completely awry. By the time I deemed Rhodes Island ready to face the Empire as a serious threat, Kazdel was on the brink of a second civil war. Broadly speaking, it's leaders were divided between Theresis and his loyalists who were hellbent on vengeful genocide. Nezzsalem, the Damazti Cluster, Ermengarde , Ulšulah and Laqeramaline. And opportunists like Qui'sartuštaj and the Sanguinarch who were in it for shits + giggles. All of them were taken aback when I declared instead of outright WAR, I merely sought justice from those members of the Military Commission ultimately responsible for the aforementioned falseflag operations, and intended to save the Sarkaz with all other races. Against the instant outcry of suspicion from Sarkaz's peoples, I deployed free wormhole fulton dispatches of medicines suited to Sarkaz biology as a gesture of goodwill: Artificial blood supplies, decoratve flowers for liches, and the bottled experience of final death for the Damazti. I also sponsored the setting's equivalent of the Olympics, challenging Sarkaz athletes to nonlethal competition with other nations-leveraging the shit out of law magic-enforced soft power. I in turn had my plans further cutback where after a conversation with this timeline's Amiya, one of their members defected, re-founded a defunct faction and declared they were joining Rhodes Island. I didn't approve that. 4/6 All of this resulted in the Sarkaz Lives Matter faction publicly agreeing to reasonable wartime reparations as they promised to do their best to find the culprit responsible, the defectors being bubbled into Originium (which following my modifications, the Sanguinarch was actually pretty chill about. Qui'sartušaj was naturally furious, especially once he learned Theresis had given him enough rope to hang himself by), and a public vendetta from Theresis, leader of the No Lives Matter faction. He then sent for me in a private meeting where much more soberly and bombastically, he asked about my exact level of control over the Originium, my sincerity for aiding the Sarkaz people, and why my sister was talking to me again after she'd had my memories erased. I was forthright and honest about everything from my intent to save his world to the greater threats beyond it. He belted out a long speech about how much he fucking hated gods like me, I belted out a long speech about mortals cutting off their noses to spite their face, then he broke down and begged me to give him a quick death if I really was serious about offering the Kazdel a future. I told him to get up and follow my lead, because he hadn't fucking earned his death until he worked for me to fix his own mess. Later, Theresis formally did NOT surrender but decided to GRACIOUSLY accept the HELP of Rhodes Island as a third party WATCHDOG after Kazdel atheles performing admirably at the not!Olympics because I pointedly didn't bother to write the rules in a way that would limit vampire, kemomimi or slime athletes. And appointed his sister as Kazdel's diplomat because as he said, "literally nobody else here is qualified" Oh yeah and he blamed everything on Qui'sartuštaj before gleefully resigning from the stress of commanding, and re-enlisting in the military as a rank and file grunt. 5/6 "Hey, heeey are you done yet?" asked the self-declared Priestess sometime after sufficient espionage, logistics and blackmail had more or less ensured world peace. "The Originium's ready to be deployed~" "Shouldn't you be experimenting on someone?" I retorted, as Fair Eyes and Brigit pointedly ignored a third magitech researcher rival for my attention and started their sorcerous working. "I wrote you a song in the stars!" "Riveting. I did something actually productive with my time. Come and see" I portalled out to a distant planet staffed by several Cybertronians. With a signal from me, they unveiled the true nature of their planet: A very, very big Cybertronian. "I, GIGANTICUS ALTUS GRANDIS, HEREBY CHALLENG ETHE OBSERVERS TO HONOURABLE COMBAT" bellowed the giant robot. "We're outside the Sky Dome! We're dead!" squeaked the Priestess as cold, unfeeling light lit up space. "No. We ARE death" I said, gazing intently at that light. "WONDER OF U OVER HEAVEN...and Limitless: Hollow Super Spin" As my personal stoic bowler hatted man-Stand's eyes bulged at the sight of something pursuing me, the light flickered. Flared. And faded in rippling waves as something beyond the laws of physics collided with the immutable flow of Calamity within it. Microscopic black holes, emergences of strange matter, and observer effect anomalies distorted it's propagation. But the Super Spin combined with Gojo's mathematics-based spatial expansion Cursed Technique at last resulted in a force that could reach it. With a collision of cosmic sparks, the hypersphere I shot into the light made it bend, twist and SCREAM as it was rendered into nothing-and nullified. And briefly, all of space lit up with golden light as my Solars' Working completed. "...I don't understand what just happened, but those were some really big explosions, and I'm now really happy just to be alive" said the self-declared Priestess at last. "Story of this planet in a nutshell" I muttered. 6/6

Hey, just dumping >Core Premise: “In the year 2000, portals began to open around the world leading into alternate dimensions. They were found to be filled with hostile lifeforms like out of fiction and fantasy, and so defensive perimeters were constructed, only for the portals to eventually crackle and surge as the entities within rushed out and wrought havoc. At this time, individuals around the planet began to awaken new abilities and took arms against these monsters. For a period things were bad, but then they got better. The Awakened as they came to be known were the spearhead that dove into these portals, killed the monsters, and brought stability back to the world. Now, decades later, the resources and changes brought about by these portals leaves the world unrecognizable compared to what it once was.” IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (Portal Notes) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII >Frequency: “Portals began to open around the world in the year 2000. Since then, the rate they spawn comes in waves. Initial occurrence of portals happened in the greatest wave, though several waves have occurred since then. In the periods between, there's relatively few reports of new portals a year on a global scale. To date, no portals have disappeared, with theorists believing that the surface of the Earth will eventually be consumed by them.” >Appearance: “Portals appear either red, blue, or yellow in color depending on their type. Their composition usually appears to be swirling, opaque fluid that glows quite noticeably. Their size varies, with the smallest portals being roughly two meters tall and one meter wide, while the largest may be tens of times larger; only World Portals have been recorded to reach such sizes however. When the average ‘Dungeon Portal,’ has been left alone too long, it will begin to grow several times its original size until a ‘Dungeon Break’ occurs and monsters come streaming out. A portal undergoing a Dungeon break will >appear to crackle with electricity, though there is no apparent change in electromagnetic output.” ---------- (Types) >Notes: “There are roughly three types of Portals that have so far been recorded: Dungeon, Scenario, and World. Dungeon Portals are all red, Scenario Portals are all blue, and World Portals are all yellow. Some have also described World Portals as being ‘gold.’ More details below.” ---------- -- >Dungeon Portals: “Dungeon Portals host fabricated environments and hostile entities commonly referred to as monsters. These environments may resemble mundane earth environments, supernatural environments found out of fiction or imagination, or even artificial environments resembling urban settlements or futuristic military bases. There are often several types of monsters within one Dungeon Portal, though aesthetically they always ‘fit’ whatever environment they're found in. Despite prior attempts at diplomacy, classification, or study, all mundane attempts at resolving conflict with monsters has failed. >The primary reason for such failures is the artificial nature of the monsters. Although they often appear organic in nature, they need neither food, nor water, and some only appear to mimic the requirement for sleep. Rather, monsters appear to act through preset actions and routines resembling an npc in a video game when left to their own devices. Even those that have the ability to communicate and coordinate are not capable of true self-awareness or growth, as the same strategies to defeating them are reliable and consistent no matter how much time passes. >While their intelligence is artificial, the bodies of monsters are ‘real.’ The monsters that appear organic still have flesh, blood, and bones. In fact, the material composition of many varieties of monsters is of such value that the butchering/disassembly of monster corpses is the core of the ‘New Economy’ as its been called. This is one of the main reasons why Dungeon Monsters are regularly hunted by corporate and government agencies, and even by licensed individuals. The other reason stems from the event referred to as a ‘Dungeon Break.’ >As time passes, damage to a Dungeon Portal's environment will repair itself, and new monsters will simply appear out of thin air. When overpopulation occurs as a result of this automatic spawning function, the portal will undergo a ‘Dungeon Break.’ The portal will take on a more volatile appearance, and the monsters within will flood out to attack and kill everything in sight, prioritizing humans over all else. The monsters will eventually establish territory around the portal, and then begin to expand that territory over time. >As you might be able to guess, regularly killing monsters is enough to prevent a Dungeon Break from occurring. To stop a Dungeon Break in progress is much more difficult however. Within every Dungeon Portal, there is a much stronger monster resembling one of the native varieties that takes a leadership role. This is commonly referred to as the ‘Boss.’ Boss Monsters must be killed in order to stop a Dungeon Break in its tracks. Boss Monsters aren't usually targeted during regular hunting however, due to the fact that they take a much longer time to be replaced, and no other monsters will spawn during that time. That isn't to say they're protected though, as they're often much more valuable than a normal monster. The threat they pose in open combat is much greater and could cause economic losses however, so it's generally not encouraged.” -- >Additional Notes 1: “The environment and monsters found within a Dungeon Portal are often reflective in some way of the location the portal sits. This may reflect the local environments, local stories or culture, or local history. This is not an ironclad rule however.” -- >Additional Notes 2: “The scale of environments found within Dungeon Portals can vary wildly from an area similar to a warehouse, to a stadium, or even a city. Larger and more complex environments can also host larger monsters, more diverse monster populations, and greater dangers. The scale of a Dungeon Portal is often reflected by the size of the actual portal itself. The bigger the portal, the bigger the interior. Although these spaces can often appear without walls and under an open sky, space seems to loop in on itself to enclose such environments despite their appearance.” -- >Additional Notes 3: “Every Dungeon Monster has something called an Aether Crystal found within the core of their body, varying in exact location between monsters. Less tangible monsters will drop it on death. An Aether Crystal is a highly valuable item, especially pertaining to Awakened, and will be covered in greater depth in later sections as pertaining to to Awakened. The value and danger of a Dungeon Portal is often based on the ‘Grade’ of the Aether Crystal, with Dungeon Portals of up to Grade 5 currently recorded.” -- ---------- >Scenario Portals: “Scenario Portals once entered will somewhat resemble Dungeon Portals with their monoculture environment that seems natural, supernatural, or artificial. Unlike Dungeon Portals, Scenario Portals are not exclusively staffed by aggressive entities, but a variety of entities including those neutral and even allied to individuals who have entered. The artificial intelligence behind these entities is much more complex and flexible, as they play by roles assigned for the sake of the portal's unique conditions. >When an Awakened enters a Scenario Portal, a window similar to their Status Menu will appear before them. Within this window, the premise of the Scenario Portal, the roles of the Awakened, and their objective will be detailed. Should the Awakened ‘accept’ their quest and complete their objective, they will be granted a reward. Due to the more complex situation within a Scenario Portal, they're generally not at risk of anything resembling a Dungeon Break scenario, and defensive structures around them are more to limit who gets in rather than what gets out. >This all said, Scenario Portals are no less dangerous than Dungeon Portals. For one, some of the scenarios can be terribly dangerous, such as participation in the defense of a fort against a siege, or hunting a terrible monster through vast wilderness stronger than the average Dungeon Portal Boss. Additionally, while Awakened have the ability to reject the scenario using an option in the prompt, choosing to accept means they will be locked in for the duration of the scenario with no ability to opt out. Scenario Portals cannot be entered or exited while the scenario is in progress, making rescue impossible. >Beyond apparent danger, there's also hidden dangers of Scenario Portals. When a Scenario Portal is cleared, it will be sealed off for a time before undergoing what's commonly called ‘reconfiguration.’ After this period which can take anywhere between weeks to years, subtle different can be observed within the scenario such as an allied entity secretly being a traitor, traps being moved, and clear conditions being subtly altered. This means there is no clear answer for how to resolve a Scenario Portal from one instance to the next. >Other than difficulty and danger, Scenario Portals can also just be very finicky and particular. Some may require a certain number of participants entering within a certain amount of time, or specific skills held by the Awakened. Scenarios could wrap up in a day, or over the course of months. The flow of time could be distorted terribly, such that when completed the Awakened who partook may find only a few hours have passed in the real world despite surviving for months on a desert island, and be no older than when they entered. >The psychological knock on effects of Scenario Portals are at times said to be equal to the physical dangers. In spite of that, the rewards are often quite generous. Seeds belonging to easily miracle plants, ingot stacks of supernatural metals or alloys, piles of treasure, sets of high quality weapons and armor, and even items such as Skill Gems or Top Grade Aether Crystals have been reported coming from Scenario Dungeons. One of the world's current super crops stem from intermittent completion of a classified Scenario Dungeon.” ----------

>>34989 >World Portals: “World Portals are entirely unique in comparison to Dungeon Portals or Scenario Portals. First of all, they're often far larger in scale. Second of all, they always spawn in ‘sets.’ Third of all, they don't lead to such ‘finite space’ as the other two. When traveling through a World Portal, one will find themselves entering a truly new world. Those inhabiting it aren't some form of artificial intelligence, those people and those animals are as real as the ones in our world. That doesn't mean they're the same, nor does it mean they're anything approaching normal. So far, there have been three sets of World Portals to open since 2000. Each set leads to a single world, just different locations within that world. >The first set of World Portals lead to a place of mostly wild, untamed wilderness with naturally occurring monsters as big as elephants, and humans with physical abilities far outstripping the greatest Olympians; humans that could hunt those giant monsters. With unparalleled physical ability and upstanding characters, ‘Hunters of the Guild’ are now considered heroes by virtually every country around the globe. When these portals opened across the world and those individuals crossed into our world to investigate, it was during a time of great upheaval. >Before portals were commonly understood, and Awakened were in short supply, a wave of Dungeon Breaks occurred, and those hostile entities were launching a full scale invasion. After the Hunters of the Guild discovered the situation and reported back, the ‘Hunter’s Guild' of that foreign world launched large scale military operations and came to our world's aid. Hunters of the Guild joined forces with local militaries and crashed into the invaders like a freight train, saving countless lives while asking for nothing in return. >Through continued diplomatic ties between our world and the Hunter's Guild - along with various nations - within that world, modern culture was influenced in a number of ways. Industries revolving around the dismantling and application of monster corpses, especially towards the ends of developing armor and weaponry, are the direct result of that other world's influence. Though their world appears primitive compared to our own, their ecological studies and familiarity with abstract energies gave them unique insight that aided in the developments occurring within our world. >The second set of World Portals would come many years later, under much better circumstances, and more unfortunate conclusions. This world too appeared to be primitive compared to our own, but more fantastical with the existence of knights and sorcerers. At the same time, much darker, with the undead roaming the surface as humanity underwent a process called hollowing. Those hollows were among first contact between our world and that, and it took time to communicate with civilization proper. Unfortunately, it seemed the undead would return to their feet no matter how many times slain. >Communicating with the locals of that world confirmed they held no conclusive way of dealing with the hollows on a permanent basis, banishing them, or interning them in jails and camps. It's clear that much more abstract issues plagued this world even beyond their undead menace, with the tales of the First Flame and the Age of Flame. Those struck with the undead curse attempted to crossover into our world. frequently seeking asylum, and countries around the world had various responses from acceptance to rejection. >Even the Hunters of the Guild were left at a loss, not having the means of dealing with something like a curse or the flow of souls. Between this curse, and the politically volatile and at some times malicious nature of the kingdoms within that dark world, relations between the worlds was tense at best. Much more heavy defensive lines were established around World Portals leading to that place, on both sides as was the case. >Years passed, and then the third set of World Portals came; the most unusual of all. Government agencies, Awakened, and media soon arrived at the newly reported sites around the globe to investigate. With cameras rolling on the World Portal which appeared in a remote dryland in Nevada of the USA, a cartoon stepped through. Maybe it would be more accurate to say an anime character, carrying a scythe? Their stylized visuals resembling Japanese cartoons, down to exaggerated manner in which they moved and emoted, was a surreal experience. >What was on the other side was quite similar, with the aesthetics of the world almost feeling like a Tim Burton movie reinterpreted by the Japanese. Soil samples reported nothing unusual, things felt real, people were real to the touch, it all just appeared like it was illustrated. While the gods in the dark world were dead, there was a very alive one in this cartoon world; ironic as it was Death. Lord Death as that world referred to him was revered by the entirety of that world, which mostly appeared to share a tech level with our world from thirty years prior. >Lord Death's influence appeared to be extremely significant down to the formation of the World Portals which appeared to mostly correspond academies where children were trained as Meisters along with other children who could become weapons, with these children having the duty to hunt down soul eating outlaws and witches. When asked about the ethics of using children as a combat force, none of the locals appeared phased or even admired them. Psychological studies permitted by Lord Death upon locals are inconclusive, every single one appearing mentally ill, but that couldn't be true. >Regardless, relations between our world and the world of Lord Death were surprisingly smooth given the cultures were more or less the same. However, when ascertaining the status of the ‘Dark World,’ Lord Death appeared to be furious and demanded to his people be allowed passage. Given the problems the Dark World was causing, multiple countries gave clearance, and ever since, Lord Death has been attempting to ‘revert the perversion of death’ without explaining in detail what that means. >The third set of World Portals opened just a few years ago now, though with the shortened length between their appearances, some believe a new set will open soon.” -- >Additional Notes 1: “It appears as if Awakened don't occur naturally in the other worlds on the other side of World Portals. Rather, the locals have their own supernatural abilities.” -- >Additional Notes 2: “Dungeon Portals and Scenario Portals did not begin appearing in other worlds until AFTER they started appearing in ours, and seem to appear most frequently in the regions around World Portals. Those portals and the threats within appear uniquely flavored to the world.” --

And then notes on Awakened. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (Awakened Notes) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII >Notes: “Awakened is the common term used to describe those who spontaneously develop supernatural powers and access to the Status Menu. Various details regarding the Awakened will be covered in this section.” -- >Occurrence: “Awakening is a somewhat rare occurrence, with one in a thousand adults being registered as such at some point in their lifetimes. This is most likely to occur between the ages of ten and thirty, with the likelihood of Awakening falling off significantly with each year beyond that. The rate of Awakening will at times spike, with this coinciding with the waves of portal manifestations. These events are thought to be related, though there's no hard data that can be put forward to confirm these suspicions.” -- >Status Menu: “After Awakening, the Status Menu appears before the eyes of the Awakened, appearing to resemble the menu found in what's now considered a retro JRPG. This Status Menu contains information pertaining to the Awakened, as well as several helpful features found across different tabs. In the front page of the Status Menu, the Awakened may see their Name, Age, and their body abstracted as an untextured wireframe. Through tapping, scrolling, and inspection of the wireframe, their health and current status may be observed in detail such as age, height, and weight. >In the second page of the Status Menu, the Awakened is able to interact with three dimensional, holographic cube made up of smaller cubes. This is called the inventory, and Awakened are able to store up to twenty seven distinct, hand held objects within it by grabbing an object holding it inside one of the units, and letting go of the object. Retrieval involves reaching over a unit and ‘grabbing’ the object. Multiple instances of the same object can be stacked hundreds of times in the same space, such as marbles, or potions. Mild information of an object may be gleaned by observing it in the inventory. >In the third page of the Status Menu, the Awakened may observe all currently possessed Skills as well as mild details relating to what they do. Detailed information is commonly withheld, though some Skills add additional tabs to the Status Menu where additional information may be found and studied. Despite Awakened speaking different languages, all Awakened have reported no issue with understanding the Status Menu and reports the text as appearing different, sometimes even more or less complex depending on their own reading level.” -- >Class: “Upon Awakening, every Awakened is assigned one of three classes: Conscript, Traveler, or Scholar. The Awakened's class influences several things, including an abstract development of various abilities, and the skills granted to them upon Awakening. Conscripts are stronger and hardier than they were before. Travelers have much more refined senses and greater mobility compared to how they were before. Meanwhile Scholars display greater cognitive abilities compared to before, as well as a particular skill with manipulating aether.” -- >Aether: “After becoming an Awakened, one gains the ability to produce, perceive, and manipulate aether. Commonly, it is difficult to actually do anything with it; with most having issues beyond reinforcing their own body. Even the ability to do that allows an Awakened to far out perform most mundane humans however. Conscripts were breaking Olympic records for fun once the power became halfway understood. More importantly however, Aether can be expended by Awakened to power their ‘Skills.’ Aether is sometimes referred to as ‘unaspected’ energy.” -- >Skills: “Skills are expressions of superhuman ability or power unique to the Awakened. Some symbolize some sort of benefit that requires no thought or will, such as bestowing upon the owner far greater strength or speed. Others symbolize some latent ability with casting magical spells or expertise in working metals into empowered objects. All Awakened find themselves with four Skills upon Awakening. Three skills relate to their Class, and come from a finite enough pools that experts are confident in the assembly of a fully recorded list (detailed below). >Beyond these three Skills that come from consistent pools, Awakened also possess something commonly referred to as a ‘Unique’ Skill. Unique Skills are not entirely unique to the Awakened in question - as duplicates have been observed - but are so named due to coming from a far greater pool unrelated to Class, such that new Unique Skills continue to be observed to this day, and the depths of this pool remain in question. This fourth skill will not always be available to the Awakened at first, but can be observed with its information hidden in the Status Menu, thus revealing its existence. >The conditions for acquisition are entirely unknown, but most Awakened are able to acquire it within a year of their original Awakening.” -- >Skill Gem: “Perfectly smooth, round crystals about the size of a marble. Whether they are made entirely out of crystallized Aether, or simply output incredibly high Aether readings, modern technology and magic has been unable to discern. Once swallowed by an Awakened, the Skill Gem will rest suspended within their stomach and slowly digest. After digestion, the Awakened will be granted a new Skill. The name of this Skill can be observed by placing the Skill Gem within the Inventory and inspecting it. More powerful Skills take longer to digest.” -- >Aether Development: “Awakened are able to grow stronger in a number of ways, but the core premise behind all these methods is simple; the depletion of Aether within the body, and its subsequent restoration. Awakened naturally replenish depleted Aether, and by consistently depleting and replenishing their Aether, their ability to store and recover Aether improves. As they do so, they may even evolve their Class or a Skill, or develop a new Skill, but this is fairly dependent on the methods used. Simply burning Aether and resting provides minimal growth, and isn't conducive for more noteworthy benefits. >There are two other methods that are more efficient. The first is conducting training within a Dungeon Portal or Scenario Portal. Unlike Earth, the environment within one of these portals is much more heavily charged with Aether, and the Aether has some color to it. By constantly expending and replenishing Aether within a Dungeon or Scenario Portal, growth is streamlined, and events like Class Growth, Skill Growth, or Skill Acquisition are much more likely. This is obviously much more dangerous however, and the environment may influence growth in unwanted directions. >The second is safer and more efficient, but also more expensive; the consumption of Aether Crystals. After depleting one's Aether, an Awakened can replenish it faster by consuming an Aether Crystal; swallowing it whole. By consuming Aether Crystals of the same type over and over again, the Awakened can directly control the direction that they develop, while getting similar baseline growth to Portal Training. Although there are other methods, those are more specialized, and can at times require specific Skills.” -- >Class Evolution: “Class Evolution is one of the potential byproducts of Aether Development, though even with efficient methods it is by no means simple or easy to achieve. It's the transformation of an Awakened's class into something new, thematically relating to the previous class, and the manner in which they've developed their Aether. A Conscript with Sword Proficiency who regularly raids a Dungeon Portal linked to fire, and consumes the Aether Crystals of the monsters they slay, is likely to evolve into a Flame Swordsman. >Class Evolution refines the latent abilities granted by the Awakened's class, such that Conscripts often become stronger, Travelers often become faster, and Scholars often become smarter, or it tends to do so anyways. It often comes with additional skills as well, making the overarching changes fairly dramatic. Although difficult, there's nothing stopping an Awakened from continuously evolving their class, though four evolutions is the recorded limit so far. There are also a number of invisible factors that appear involved with Class Evolution as well.” -- >Skill Evolution: “Similar to Class Evolution, Skill Evolution is a potential product of Aether Development. This involves the transformation and strengthening of a Skill, increasing the benefits as presented, or the versatility of the benefits it provides.” -- >Aether Crystals: “Aether Crystals are as previously stated, a byproduct of Dungeon Monsters. Every Dungeon Monster has at least one, though several Aether Crystals within one monster is not an uncommon sight. Aether Crystals are currently recorded to come in six grades, with a seventh currently believed to exist, and possibly more beyond that. One can tell the grade of an Aether Crystal by the number of points. A ‘Grade 0’ will resemble a lumpy, unrefined crystal, while Grades 1-5 resemble cut, polished gemstones ranging from a Grade 1 Pear Cut, to a the more elaborate Grade 5 Pentagon Cut.. >When placed within the Inventory or observed with certain Skills, Aether Crystals are all described with different specifiers: Water Aether Crystals, Wolf Aether Crystals, Flower Aether Crystals, Steel Aether Crystals, and so many more. New kinds are reported all the time, and the dungeons where especially valuable Aether Crystals can be farmed are at times hotly contested. Beyond being very useful for Awakened Development, Aether Crystals are also handy in the production of Awakened equipment, resources for Craft Skills, and studies in various comparatively more ‘mundane’ fields.” -- >Aspected Energy: “Pure Aether has no color or definition. Aether Crystals as they're commonly found are an example of Aether with impurities, and this helps influence the development of Awakened. Beyond Aether with impurities however, there is what happens when Aether becomes other energies all together. The locals of the Hunter's World, the Dark World, and the world of Lord Death have their own peculiar energy. This appears to be why Awakened do not appear within those worlds. Those individuals cannot consume Skill Gems to any effect, however consumption of Aether Crystals can have positive effects. >Moreover, the Aether Crystals recovered from Dungeon Portals found in other worlds share similar properties. Should an Awakened develop themselves with these unique Aether Crystals, their Class and Aether will change into something more suitable to that world - such as a Conscript's Class evolving into a Meister - and the unique abilities of those individuals become available to them. This is a risky affair however, as those who undergo changes like this cannot adapt themselves to other worlds the same way, making the choice a permanent and singular one. >Other forms of Aether Development performed in another World can also lead to similar results.” -- >Guild: “Sometimes called a Guild, sometimes called a PMC, sometimes called a Club, after portals began appearing around people began to Awaken, the Awakened have begun to group themselves for power, protection, and mutual benefit. Some countries have embraced these new social groups, while others have attempted to build legislation against their formation in fear of the threat they pose local governments. Despite resistance, the political, military, and economic strength of Guilds has continued to build, especially over the last decade.”

And then the common skill pools for new Awakened. New Awakened get a 1, a 2, and a 3 from their class. I have not written examples of Unique Classes because I got tired of writing this stuff down and that's basically a big [Other] group. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (Skill Pools) |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (Conscript Skill Pools) ------------------------------ [1] >(1): Sword Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with swords. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(2): Spear Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with spears. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(3): Axe Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with axes. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(4): Bludgeon Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with clubs and hammers. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(5): Martial Arts - “Provides intuitive proficiency with unarmed combat. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(6): Grappling Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with throws and joint locks. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(7): Frenzy - “Provides heightened physical abilities and the natural weapons of a beast, along with intuitive proficiency in their application. Details unique techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(8): Pressure Wave - “Extends the range of limbs or weapons with the application of internal energy. Extensions may be sent forward as projectiles.” >(9): Crash - “Causes linear acceleration and reinforces the body through the application of internal energy. Transfers force upon collision.” >(10): Charge - “Build power behind a movement by holding a ready position and expending internal energies. Most effective with strikes.” ------------------------------ [2] >(1): Constitution - “Provides mild superhuman constitution, dampening the debilitating effects of disease and toxins.” >(2): Resilience - “Provides mild superhuman resilience, dulling physical damage such as by blade or claw.” >(3): Strength - “Provides mild superhuman strength, enhancing abilities such as striking or lifting.” >(4): Stamina - “Provides mild superhuman stamina, enabling greatly prolonged activity without tiring.” >(5): Shield Arm - “Provides intuitive proficiency with shields. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(6): External Arts - “Intuitive proficiency following guidelines within the status menu detailing exercises that help to efficiently hone the body's physical abilities to a supernatural extent.” >(7): Limit Break - “Provides the ability to temporarily multiplying all statistical abilities, in return for temporarily dividing all abilities after the duration.” >(8): Vent - “Basic ability to clear negative emotions and mental debilitations, and focus the mind through deep breathing.” >(9): Ecosystem - “Aligns the Awakened with a particular environment, adapting them to its particular conditions and providing intuitive familiarity.” >(10): Insulation - “Provides mild superhuman thermal regulation to endure much higher and lower temperatures.” ------------------------------ [3] >(1): Mentor - “Enables development of possessed skills in targeted individual through guidance and repetitive action. Requires compatibility.” >(2): Metalworking - “Provides proficiency with metal based craftsmanship and imbues products with heightened abilities.” >(3): Leatherworking - “Provides proficiency with leather based craftsmanship and imbues products with heightened abilities.” >(4): Fortifications - “Provides proficiency with constructing and reinforcing walls and structures; imbues products with heightened abilities.” >(5): Butchering - “Provides proficiency with deconstructing organic lifeforms into individual products such as leather, bone, meat, and organs.” >(6): Animal Husbandry - “Provides intuitive proficiency with taming and training beasts to supernatural extents.” >(7): Agriculture - “Provides intuitive proficiency with cultivating plantlife and rearing crops to a lightly supernatural degree.” >(8): Field Medic - “Provides intuitive proficiency with stabilizing the injured and effective treatment of various injuries. Details myriad treatment methods within a new tab in the status menu.” >(9): Maintenance - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the maintenance of familiar mechanisms and inanimate objects for continued operations.”

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>(10): Squire - “Creates a text interface manned by an artificial intelligence within the status menu that can respond to queries and exert a degree of influence over the inventory.” |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (Traveler Skill Pools) ------------------------------ [1] >(1): Archery - “Provides intuitive proficiency with bows. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(2): Concealed Weapons - “Provides intuitive proficiency with concealing weapons and their subtle use.” >(3): Assassination - “Provides intuitive proficiency with killing strokes and concealing intent. Suppresses hesitation.” >(4): Trickery - “Provides intuitive proficiency with sleight of hand and misdirection. Details visual illusions and techniques within a new tab in the status menu.” >(5): Poisoner - “Provides intuitive proficiency with production and application of poisons. Details basic recipes and techniques within a new tab in the status menu.” >(6): Throwing - “Provides intuitive proficiency with throwing weapons. Details varying pitching techniques within a new tab in the status menu.” >(7): Improvisation - “Provides intuitive proficiency with weaponizing miscellaneous objects and the environment.” >(8): Illusion - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic regarding illusions and disguises. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(9): Flexile Weapon Proficiency - “Provides intuitive proficiency with flexible weapons such as whips and chains. Details basic techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(10): Beguile - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic regarding charming and controlling sentients. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” ------------------------------ [2] >(1): Speed - “Provides mild superhuman movement speed, allowing for greater running speed and APM.” >(2): Reflex - “Provides mild superhuman reflexes, allowing for greater and more seamless reaction to external stimuli.” >(3): Sense - “Provides mild superhuman sensory ability relating to one of the five major senses. Resolves existing disabilities regarding that sense on acquisition.” >(4): Lucky - “Increases chances of positive outcomes in matters of chance; such as gambling and percentage success skills.” >(5): Time - “Provides a remarkably accurate internal clock and mildly superhuman sense of timing.” >(6): Control - “Provides mild superhuman control over movements, transmitting thought to action more accurately.” >(7): Theft - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the subtle acquisition of a target's belongings.” >(8): Stealth - “Provides mild superhuman stealth, enhancing the ability to conceal one's sounds and movements.” >(9): Deduction - “Provides mild superhuman ability to make accurate conclusions from fragmented information.” >(10): Qingong - “Intuitive proficiency following guidelines within the status menu for movement techniques aiding in travel and evasion to a supernatural extent.” ------------------------------ [3] >(1): Muse - “Increases the efficiency of class and skill development for targeted Awakened.” >(2): Musician - “Provides excellent pitch and intuitive musical proficiency. Details the basics of learning mundane instruments within a new tab in the status menu.” >(3): Culinarian - “Provides intuitive proficiency with cooking and imbues products with heightened abilities. Details myriad, basic recipes within a new tab in the status menu based on available ingredients.” >(4): Artist - “Provides intuitive proficiency with a form of visual art such as drawing, painting, or sculpture. ” >(5): Cartographer - “Provides intuitive proficiency with pathfinding and illustration of maps.” >(6): Herbology - “Intuitive familiarity with various herbs and plants and their applications. Basic details of common plants found within a new tab in the status menu.” >(7): Trapmaker - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the design, construction, and implementation of traps. Details basic traps within a new tab in the status menu.” >(8): Tailor - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the production and working of cloth; imbues products with heightened abilities.” >(9): Sabotage - “Provides intuitive proficiency breaking constructs and degrading inanimate objects.” >(10): Treasure Cave - “Drastically expands storage space found within the status menu.”

>>34994 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (Scholar Skill Pools) ------------------------------ [1] >(1): Elemental Magic - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic regarding one type of natural element. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(2): Conjuration - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that conjures objects into reality. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(3): Necromancy - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that raises and commands the dead. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(4): Abjuration - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that blocks and seals. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(5): Transmutation - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that transforms one thing into another. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(6): Divination - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that collects information or discerns answers. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(7): Summoning - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that summons forth allied entities or beneficial items. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(8): Restoration - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that mends damage incurred by people and things. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(9): Black Magic - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that delves into curses and debilitation. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(10): Shamanism - “Provides intuitive proficiency with druidic magic that concerns the forces of nature. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” ------------------------------ [2] >(1): Wards - “Provides supernatural warding, dampening the effect of opposed tangible energies and magic.” >(2): Mind Guard - “Provides mental protection, dampening opposing effects targeting the mind.” >(3): Memory - “Provides minor superhuman memory, improving storage and recall of information.” >(4): Tongues - “Provides minor superhuman ability with elocution and learning languages.” >(5): Studious - “Provides minor superhuman ability in regards to reading and comprehending written information, granting enhanced learning speed.” >(6): Internal Arts - “Intuitive proficiency following guidelines within the status menu for meditation techniques that can help cultivate and develop internal energies.” >(7): Academics - “Intuitive proficiency regarding the study and comprehension of a random field of science or academics. Literary resources found within new tab found within status menu.” >(8): Lucidity - “Reduction of mental fatigue build up leading to lesser requirements for sleep. Frequency and duration requirements for sleep reduced.” >(9): Tactician - “Provides intuitive proficiency with battlefield strategy and combat tactics. Details common strategies and battle records within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(10): Animation - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magics that animate and command inanimate objects. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” ------------------------------ [3] >(1): Scribe - “Provides intuitive proficiency with writing and facilitates the production of magical tomes and consumable magic scrolls.” >(2): Brewing - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the production of magical tonics and elixirs. Details minor recipes within a new tab in the status menu.” >(3): Enchanting - “Provides intuitive proficiency with magic that imbues targets with supernatural effects. Details minor spells within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >(4): Alchemy - “Provides intuitive proficiency with production of magical products and materials. Details minor recipes within a new tab in the status menu.” >(5): Magitechnician - “Provides intuitive proficiency with production of magical mechanisms and tools. Details minor blueprints within a new tab in the status menu.” >(6): Runes - “Provides intuitive proficiency with transcribing runes; magical script with myriad effects. Details basic runes within a new tab in the status menu.” >(7): Cantrips - “Provides intuitive proficiency with lesser magic relating to parlor tricks and household convenience. Details various spells within a new tab in the status menu. ” >(8): Legalese - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the comprehension and retention of rules, their letter, their spirit, and their application.” >(9): Mathematics - “Provides intuitive proficiency with estimation, calculation, and varied fields of mathematics.” >(10): Cauldron - “Creates a cauldron within the status menu. Breaks down magical materials into Aether Crystals after a duration. Aether Crystals inserted can be fused into higher quality Aether Crystals after a duration.” ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

>>34989 That should be 'just dumping setting and system stuff for the Portal Fantasy premise I've been vaguely talking about the last few days. This seems like an appropriate thread for it in case I wanted to share.'

>>34989 >To date, no portals have disappeared, with theorists believing that the surface of the Earth will eventually be consumed by them. The follow up question is whether a portal can spawn right next to another portal. >Dungeon Portals Has anyone tried setting up a base within one?

>>35226 >The follow up question is whether a portal can spawn right next to another portal. I wanna say yes, they can, as other worlds don't have global portal spawns like we do. With other worlds, Dungeon Portals and Scenario Portals tend to spawn within the general region of the World Portals connecting their world to ours. >Has anyone tried setting up a base within one? It's probably halfway common practice. A given faction might set up a fort or something for Aether Development purposes, doing mild training inside while long distance Awakened just pot shot monsters from a position of safety. As long as the population of monsters isn't too strong and they're constantly trimmed down, it's probably pretty safe to set things up like this. They'd just have to have couriers go back and forth to pick up corpses for dismantling every now and then. This is likely only feasible with lower level Dungeon Portals as anything too strong would make it much easier to break down fortifications and stuff, or might have long range bombardment abilities that make it less safe. This is probably a big money making job for Conscripts that got Fortifications as a skill. This all said, it's probably only a strat set up by governments, major corporations, or very powerful guilds due to the expenses and manpower it takes to build and staff it. Smaller Guilds or independent Awakened might be able to set up a temporary base, but if they can't afford to stay and defend it then eventually the monsters are gonna get in and wreck it.

>>35399 >It's probably halfway common practice. >>35399 >It's probably halfway common practice. A given faction might set up a fort or something for Aether Development purposes, doing mild training inside while long distance Awakened just pot shot monsters from a position of safety. Sounds like a high risk, high reward location. Taking over a decently sized Dungeon would require a lot of manpower and infrastructure, but you get resources showing up at your front door, and having one location which any attacker will have to pass through is wondrous for defense. >As long as the population of monsters isn't too strong and they're constantly trimmed down, it's probably pretty safe to set things up like this. Depending on the monsters, it might be possible to set up some magical turrets that can help with taking out monster spawns. >>34994 >I have not written examples of Unique Classes because I got tired of writing this stuff down and that's basically a big [Other] group. Would an advanced class have the same number of skills as a base class?

>>35462 I keep forgetting this place doesn’t clear reply boxes when you close them.

>>35463 >I keep forgetting this place doesn’t clear reply boxes when you close them. Yeah it's a bit weird like that. >Sounds like a high risk, high reward location. Taking over a decently sized Dungeon would require a lot of manpower and infrastructure, but you get resources showing up at your front door, and having one location which any attacker will have to pass through is wondrous for defense. That seems to be how it'd work, yeah. Needs a lot of attention and maintenance because the investment would be big, but the returns would most likely be seen as worth once it's allowed to operate for a few months. >Depending on the monsters, it might be possible to set up some magical turrets that can help with taking out monster spawns. Yeah, Scholars do have several craft skills that could build up to that. Helps take over night shifts. I haven't actually determined if there's day/night cycles in Dungeon Portals, but I suppose there are now, at least in the outdoors ones. >Would an advanced class have the same number of skills as a base class? That was supposed to say Unique Skills, because Unique Skills belong to a fourth group, but to answer your question you can just keep getting skills. It's easier earlier on but there's no real cap, you're just most likely to get new ones based on what you're already doing, or the Aether Development methods you're going with. Somebody that's already invested in a lot of fire stuff trying to munch Water Crystals is more likely to get something like oil or steam than pure water.

>>35472 >That seems to be how it'd work, yeah. Needs a lot of attention and maintenance because the investment would be big, but the returns would most likely be seen as worth once it's allowed to operate for a few months. Depending on your skills, you might be able to set up a secret base in a larger dungeon. >That was supposed to say Unique Skills, because Unique Skills belong to a fourth group, but to answer your question you can just keep getting skills. Actually I was asking about classes. Classes are mentioned as being capable of evolving, so I was wondering if an advanced class would also have ten skills in each base pool.

>>35487 >Depending on your skills, you might be able to set up a secret base in a larger dungeon. That seems likely, probably the way to go for some solo Awakened, just hiding it as best as possible so it doesn't actually need to be defended 24/7. >Actually I was asking about classes. Yeah, but the part you were replying to was a typo on my part, so it thought I'd clarify I made a mistake. >Classes are mentioned as being capable of evolving, so I was wondering if an advanced class would also have ten skills in each base pool. I feel like for the baseline premise I wouldn't detail it, giving people freedom if they also mess with the premise, or allowing myself some freedom if it comes up in the writing.

>>35514 >That seems likely, probably the way to go for some solo Awakened, just hiding it as best as possible so it doesn't actually need to be defended 24/7. If there’s a dungeon the size of a city that’s set up like a city, it’s just a matter of finding a small apartment you can block off. I’ve watched a number of 7 Days to Die videos, so I’m imagining staying in a dungeon playing out like a survival sandbox game. >I feel like for the baseline premise I wouldn't detail it, giving people freedom if they also mess with the premise, or allowing myself some freedom if it comes up in the writing. Reasonable. As I said, given my Lich jumper I was thinking about a Necromancer class. One skill I thought of is Undead Physiology, which would reduce the amount of food, water, air, and sleep you need.

>>35516 >If there’s a dungeon the size of a city that’s set up like a city, it’s just a matter of finding a small apartment you can block off. I’ve watched a number of 7 Days to Die videos, so I’m imagining staying in a dungeon playing out like a survival sandbox game. That would be pretty fun. All you need to do is make it easy enough to get in and out that you can go home for more supplies once you start running low. Setting up like that probably limits the amount of dismantling you can do, but you could still collect Aether Crystals easily enough since similar enough items can stack in the inventory and they're the most valuable items anyways. >Reasonable. As I said, given my Lich jumper I was thinking about a Necromancer class. One skill I thought of is Undead Physiology, which would reduce the amount of food, water, air, and sleep you need. For my own 'chain' or crossover fic or whatever I'd call it, I'm going to start as a Scholar with the Cauldron Skill because I enjoy the idea of spending a few years just refining Aether Crystals as a day job. Likely pays well, mostly involves sitting around until the skill finishes popping the higher grade crystal out, gives me time to study magic and save money while trying to figure out what I'm doing with life. I was enjoying the idea of refining some crystals for personal use in my spare time by ordering low grade stuff online, so I could go big when my contract work ended. Anyways, the point is, I was thinking on skill stuff and evolutions, and I think you'd probably want to aim for Constitution Crystals and Death Crystals. Those seem like they'd lend best to your chosen path, alongside just focusing on Dungeon Portals set up in graveyards and crypts and old battlefields and stuff.

>>35520 >That would be pretty fun. All you need to do is make it easy enough to get in and out that you can go home for more supplies once you start running low. Setting up like that probably limits the amount of dismantling you can do, but you could still collect Aether Crystals easily enough since similar enough items can stack in the inventory and they're the most valuable items anyways. I can imagine a small team staying in for a week or two, if they can find a good place to hole up. >and I think you'd probably want to aim for Constitution Crystals and Death Crystals. Death is obvious, but I don’t see the connection to Constitution. >Those seem like they'd lend best to your chosen path, alongside just focusing on Dungeon Portals set up in graveyards and crypts and old battlefields and stuff. Sounds about right. Undead Physiology would mean I could spend more time in Dungeons, with a crypt or graveyard being the perfect place to level up the skill, meaning I can spend even more time there.

>>35538 >I can imagine a small team staying in for a week or two, if they can find a good place to hole up. Would be best with very stupid monsters since not everyone will always be super stealthy. >Death is obvious, but I don’t see the connection to Constitution. My thinking was just that it might ground the esoteric effects to your physical form and would be most conducive towards becoming a Lich in the long run. >Sounds about right. Undead Physiology would mean I could spend more time in Dungeons, with a crypt or graveyard being the perfect place to level up the skill, meaning I can spend even more time there. I imagine really powerful Necromancers could easily set up bases in Dungeons like that. Eventually convert enough of the monsters inside into servants that hunt down the ones that aren't.

>>35543 >Would be best with very stupid monsters since not everyone will always be super stealthy. Maybe you could use runes to create an area that monsters couldn’t perceive or enter. >My thinking was just that it might ground the esoteric effects to your physical form and would be most conducive towards becoming a Lich in the long run. That could work. Also I’d need lots of Enchanting to create a phylactery. >I imagine really powerful Necromancers could easily set up bases in Dungeons like that. Eventually convert enough of the monsters inside into servants that hunt down the ones that aren't. Seems about right. I have this mental image of a large graveyard dungeon controlled by a necromancers guild, with the necromancers being almost indistinguishable from the monsters.

>>35553 >Maybe you could use runes to create an area that monsters couldn’t perceive or enter. Seems like it would possible with some form of magic. Maybe Abjuration could work. >That could work. Also I’d need lots of Enchanting to create a phylactery. Sounds about right. Could also be that aligning yourself with one of the other worlds could work best. The three I have in my concept are Monster Hunter, Dark Souls, and Soul Eater, but I imagine it's easy enough to reinterpret it with something you favor more. There's also new World Portals opening which is basically how I'm integrating Jumpchain here. >Seems about right. I have this mental image of a large graveyard dungeon controlled by a necromancers guild, with the necromancers being almost indistinguishable from the monsters. It seems interesting to think about people moving around for work based on where a Dungeon Portal conducive to their specific development or craft. Some Awakened that delve into stone masonry moving to an area with a Golem Dungeon and stuff where they can either source the materials directly or Necromancer Guilds naturally congregating around Undead Dungeons. Also weebs naturally gathering around Soul Eater World Portals.

>>35573 >Seems like it would possible with some form of magic. Maybe Abjuration could work. An important spell for any dungeon adventure. >The three I have in my concept are Monster Hunter, Dark Souls, and Soul Eater, but I imagine it's easy enough to reinterpret it with something you favor more. Dark Souls may have undead, but not the kind of undead I’d want to be. >Some Awakened that delve into stone masonry moving to an area with a Golem Dungeon and stuff where they can either source the materials directly Maybe if they keep absorbing Golem Crystals they’ll get an option to become more golem like. >Necromancer Guilds naturally congregating around Undead Dungeons. It occurs to me, Liches are portrayed as being very powerful, so the process of becoming one should be more involved. One complication that could be interesting is if the final stage requires another necromancer, because it involves you dying, having your soul caught and bound into your phylactery, and pumping some necromantic energy into your body to kickstart the process and wake you back up as a Lich. My thinking is I’d find a small Crypt Dungeon and take it over, culminating in my binding the Dungeon Boss and making them help me.

>>35584 >Maybe if they keep absorbing Golem Crystals they’ll get an option to become more golem like. Seems scary. I bet there are forums and faqs and stuff helping people with what what they need to avoid so they don't turn into new kinds of things entirely (which conveniently also serves as a guide for those who explicitly do want to become a lich, a golem, or a monster hybrid). I know as I've been idly thinking things over that I keep imagining materials available online for more common things you may want to know, but I also feel like a lot of people keep things close to the chest for personal advantages. >It occurs to me, Liches are portrayed as being very powerful, so the process of becoming one should be more involved. One complication that could be interesting is if the final stage requires another necromancer, because it involves you dying, having your soul caught and bound into your phylactery, and pumping some necromantic energy into your body to kickstart the process and wake you back up as a Lich. My thinking is I’d find a small Crypt Dungeon and take it over, culminating in my binding the Dungeon Boss and making them help me. That could be cool. I did write down that there's often a lot of invisible processes and conditions involved with the whole Class Evolution thing, so the system acknowledging your efforts and rewarding them would be cool.

>>35596 >(which conveniently also serves as a guide for those who explicitly do want to become a lich, a golem, or a monster hybrid). A Lich would probably be too rare and involved to be covered, but I could see a Golem on there. And of course, we can’t forget catgirls. >but I also feel like a lot of people keep things close to the chest for personal advantages. I have a picture for this. >That could be cool. I did write down that there's often a lot of invisible processes and conditions involved with the whole Class Evolution thing, so the system acknowledging your efforts and rewarding them would be cool. Yeah, I thought it was a neat idea.

>>35621 >A Lich would probably be too rare and involved to be covered, but I could see a Golem on there. And of course, we can’t forget catgirls. I like to believe there's an active ban on Scholars eating anything from Soul Eater because the likelihood of becoming a Mad Witch is way too high and Death has active bounties on them. Conscripts have the one skill that makes them more animal-like and gives them natural weapons; probably pretty easy for them to mutate further. Liches? I don't know if they'd even exist in appreciable enough numbers to be covered up, much less known. >I have a picture for this. Yeah, a lot like that. I think I'm gonna spend a few days trying to figure out where and how I want the story to go now. Unlike normal chains which can involve a lot of winging, I feel like I should try to figure out what my endgame is like here well ahead of time.

>>35637 >Liches? I don't know if they'd even exist in appreciable enough numbers to be covered up, much less known. They’d probably be known mostly as rare but powerful undead monsters. Someone becoming one would be very rare, and people would wonder if you’ve become a free willed monster. They might even be right. >I think I'm gonna spend a few days trying to figure out where and how I want the story to go now. Unlike normal chains which can involve a lot of winging, I feel like I should try to figure out what my endgame is like here well ahead of time. Yeah, this seems like a story where you need to know where it’s going.

>>35056 [Elden Ring redux] Drawbacks: My Age or the High Age, Age After Age, An Age of Darkness, Blood and the One-Armed Wolf, Sudden Drought, You Are The Pest Control, A Song of Blood and Ice, Co-Written by GRRM, The Flame Flickers, The Dragonlord Returns, A Call Beyond, The Shattering, Mended, The Night Is Far From Over (3700) Scenario: Nightreign Here There Be Dragons, And Giants Of No Renown, Nightfarer Entity From Another Era: Usurper of Sunlight (3400) Vessel of Ruination: First Flame (3250) An Unusual Inheritance: Prehistoric Dragon (3100) The Road Not Taken (Free) WARRIOR! (2800) Divinity: Lord Soul (1800) Absolute Radiance (1200) Golden Kindness (600) Spirit Calling Bell (Free) Spectral Steed Whistle (Free) Maidenly Lioness (Free) Maiden Finger (Free) Serpentine Heir (500) Spurned Child of the Abyss (400) More Room In The HoldX8 (0): -Of Human Stock, Guardian of a Fractured Order, Fundamentals of Faith (Free), Divinity (0), Spectral Steed Whistle (Free), Spirit Calling Bell (Free) Time crawled to a halt as I was going about my day, puttering around the palace. Suddenly fierce wet winds and a distant glimmer of light that seemed to say "I left the figurative oven on, go fix it won't you?" as we landed in an older version of the Roundtable Hold. I looked around us. Time was constipated, and space was convoluted. "Well, there goes the roof" said the Priestess as she noticed one of my compatriots smashing a hole in it merely by fitting in. "Ooooopssss" she hissed. Shielding her gaze in the face of multiple clones of Marika, she stared up, and up, at me. "This is wrong" I said finally. "My avatar appears to have reverted to a simulacrum of what would have happened if my identity from the Age of Fire survived all the way into this era. Order. Is. BROKEN" "T-thou'rt a god now! How? What did you sacrifice?!" asked one of the Mari-clones. "Not a damn thing. It was a different time" I muttered. 1/4 I assured the thoroughly confused Priestess that I was aware what was going on, and strode over to where the Hold overlooked the Erdtree. With a snap of my fingers, my newfound powers combined the principles of Perfect Order with my evolved Lord/First Flame/dragon powers, snapping a miniature sun into existence atop the Erdtree. The Elden Sun's rays rejuvenated the Erdtree into glowing brighter than ever, while simultaneously repairing the Elden Ring, pushing back the Night, and cleaning everyone's teeth for free. In seconds, a new wave of Perfect Order was sweeping across the land. "There. Order restored" I declared. "H-how did you do it that quickly?" stammered the Priestess. I laid one hand on her. "You have done your duty. Be free" I told her, swatting aside the formless master's ire and severing her link from the Roundtable Hold. "By the way, the Wylder is your brother and you have a pocketwatch that can skew time. The Recluse created the curse that crippled the Guardian's pinionfolk people, and the Executor is a former Crucible Knight. The Ironeye is one of Those Who Live In Death and he seeks a shard of order, like what the Lord of Night Fulghor carries as his weapon. If allowed, he was going to slay the corpse that would have returned the Nightlord's rune to the Erdtree. Oh, and the Revenant was never human, though still dear to her creator"

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The Priestess blinked at that. "I must. I must think on this" she said, striding off. "Comrades!" said Nora Loux, staring at the retreating shadows in all directions, "I can sense enemies in all directions, but they appear to be...retreating?" I glared out at the Night. "WHAT?!" "They appear to be running away now that order is restored" said our team witch. She coughed. "Is this a bad time to declare that my terrible corruptive essence is that of the Night as well?" 2/4 "One thing at a time, I am NOT letting enemies of order get away" I ordered. "Focus your power. Can you make portals to the Lords of Night?" "Here, where the Night is darkest? Of course, lord" So while the Nightfarers were having some very meaningful conversations, we went on a Lord of Night ganking spree. We set tripwires for Gladius and knocked it's heads together with big light hammers. We wrestled Adel to the ground and ripped off his jaws. We kidnapped a big scorpion to lure it's moth companion into a geyser of First Flame. We harpooned a swimming alien. And by then the Nightfarers had gotten their act together enough to take out the knight, the demon and what turned out to be a very lost archdragon. Only then did I have the witch portal us into Heolstor's domain. Instead of even letting him unleash his second form I just hit him with the Seal of Fire, then the Mari-clones started clubbing him to death with their hammers until he broke under sustained percussive order impacts. Finally, to prevent it from doing anything else the witch crawled inside it's corpse to become the new Nightlord. "Hey so, this is kind of awkward but I needed that thing to live-" began the Wylder when we came back. I snapped my fingers again. "Light is time, let's get lit. You're immortal now". "Oh! Thank you" he said, perplexed even as he started glowing. I looked out of the pocket dimension and glared. "IT'S GETTING AWAY!!" I shouted as a giant started to walk away from the Erdtree. "Should we...let it? As the least racist of our sisters" said Mari-Clone #7 while the others rushed at it, hammers in hand, "I just can't help but feel a little sorry for-" "It's got little bumps on it's head" I pointed out. Mari-Clone #7 drew in a deep breath as the giant, seeing multiple Marika clones, a giant snake, it's own new Nightlord, and a very buff maiden in pursuit, broken into a run. 3/4 "NOT EVEN A THOUSAND DEATHS WOULD BE FITTING PUNISHMENT FOR THY SINS! I SHALL SMITE THEE, AND AT THE SCADUTREE I SHALL TORTURE THEE OVER AND OVER! AFTER AN AEON, I SHALL REINCARNATE THEE, AND THY LIVES SHALL BE THOSE OF ENDLESS TORMENT, THY BODIES TORTURED IN LIFE AND THY SOULS IN DEATH! THE SAME SHALL COME TO THY LORDS, AND THY LORDS' KIN, THROUGHOUT ALL ETERNITY UNTIL THE END OF TIME! FEEL THE WRATH OF GOLD UNBOUND, AND PLUMMET INTO THE LAND OF SHADOWS, CONDEMNED IN ITS UNENDING DARKNESS!" she screeched. In a terrible thunderclap, the giant was cast out of time, space, and into the Land of Shadows. All of us immediately followed and i proceeded to summon so much lightning that the entire Land of Shadows' sky lit up like a Faraday cage as I brought it down again and again on the horrific aberration. A petulant and formless force gently tugged us back to our time. "Well, 'tis another one for the books eh?" muttered Morgott as we all came back to Leyndell. "I have just received records of a great giant, chained to the Scadutree. I have been informed it has ALWAYS been there despite the fact someone appears to have scarred 'So perish all foreigners' in distinctive golden light on it's face" "Yes, about that. Gather up the finest artisans and clockmakers in the land, I want a full construction team down in the Land of Shadows by the end of today" Morgott raised an eyebrow. "You...want to turn the thing into a clock?" "In a sense. I want to use it to commercialise multiverse travel" And I spent the rest of the day punishing the Night for it's invasion by carving it up into clockwork mechanisms that could be used to visit other eras, incidentally offering all the Albinaurics free passports to the Painted World of Ariandel. 4/4

Testing

>>37160 Howdy

>>29123 [Doctor Who redux] I assessed the developing situations. Most of my companions were dogpiling Grail even as she wrenched the time travel navigation device that used the power of a billion supernovas as a glorified signal flare for TARDISes. The Rani had just declared war on UNIT by sprinkling the bone beasts, who are actually living antibodies from the Underverse that evolved to feed off atoms shaved from the friction between it and reality, and was currently flirting with the alt-right strawman out of frustration with Wimey not being the Doctor enough to have snappy patter with. "Now?" asked Polaris. "Now" I agreed. "Okay, go ahead" "And with that Doc-I mean, Jumper, you're all out of luck!" The Rani paused. "Hey you're supposed to keep being plucky and trying to thwart my plans, we're supposed to have a battle of wits here" she complained. "Your plan is so profoundly stupid that I've deduced the best way to thwart it is to just let it happen" I told her flatly. "Which by the way is AMAZING coming from apparently the only Time Lord to see the Time War coming as well as the Time Lords' evolutionary bottleneck coming, and use a Time Ring to commit a "genetic sidestep" into the present The Rani's eyes damn near bulged out of her skull. "Well FAR be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth! But I find that AWFULLY offensive! This is a brilliant plan!" "...you could have just wished Omega out of the Underverse with the baby god" said Grail, perplexed enough to stop fighting. "That's not how it works! Bah, you don't understand the time-science, what do you know?!" "And I'm not the Maiden of Biology" said Polaris carefully, "but I somehow think your plan to use Omega as the genetic template for a new population of Time Lords to rule over a new Gallifrey has overlooked several key issues" 1/6 The Rani strutted over to an ominous swirly gate while the rest of us bombarded her with unsolicited criticisms. Didn't she remember Omega was hellbent on taking revenge on Gallifrey for Rassilon sabotaging his ship into a black hole, getting him stuck in an antimatter universe for millions of years? "Nah, I'd win" she said with no further elaboration. Had she forgotten that as a result of being trapped in said antimatter universe Rassilon literally DIDN'T EXIST except by sheer force of will? "Biodata" she said, with a frown and a mutual look of concern with Mrs. Flood. Had she forgotten that in his rare moments of lucidity Omega demonstrated a vestige of genuine scientific whimsy and regret for his actions? "Look, just remember Omega has a history of acting unpredictably and violently in response to literally any opportunity to enter the universe" I said. "Oh, it'll be fine" she said confidently. "Sure, sure. I'm just saying, it would be REALLY EMBARRASSING after establishing your credentials for dancing circles around the Doctor to, I don't know, stand there and just get grabbed like an idiot" The Rani actually paused at that. "You're right, what am I thinking? Mrs. Flood. Stand over THERE dramatically while I reactivate all my Time War defences" she ordered. "I live to serv" muttered Mrs. Flood, as the gate opened. "He's probably just balderdash" said the Rani dismissively. "Any minute now, Omega is coming through and however withered, however maddened, I'm sure he can be made to see reason for the greater benefit of HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHY IS OMEGA, FIRST OF THE TIME LORDS, THE NEWBORN FROM ALIEN 4 BUT HUGE?!!?!?!?!?!?" she screeched. "I'M GOING TO EAT EVERY TIME LORD AND BECOME THE GOD OF TIME!!!" bellowed Omega. And because, and ONLY because, she was ordered to. Mrs. Flood just stood there a second too late to not be grabbed and eaten. 2/6 Elodie ran back, having defeated the evil chud stereotype by astonishingly for the show, actually acknowledging that the dystopia he created wasn't as bad as it could've been despite being overly heterosexual. In fact it belied a deep desire for family and connection. Yes, this was used as an opportunity to poke at his literal fatherless behaviour, but it turns out that one thing the arbitrarily limited wish baby god can do is literally wish him into having a better, happier life in which he never becomes an alt-right podcaster "Hey so, this looks pretty...tame, for the standards of this universe?" she said as instead of waving a hand and disintegrating things with antimatter, instead of wielding his vast knowledge of Time Lord science, and instead of trying to possess somebody, Omega literally just kept lumbering forwards to try to eat people while Grail physically pushed him back into the Underverse with the power of A BILLION SUPERNOVAS concentrated through the Time Lord beacon thing. "Okay, what is going on?" I sighed. "We're doing the whole myth bit again. See, the Underverse is literally every underworld from Hell to Hades, and as a result the MYTH of Omega as a Time Lord bogeyman has warped him into a literal mad god and titan"

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"ME HUNGRY! RAWR!" screamed Omega. "Doctor, h-help" stammered the Rani. "I'm not the Doctor" pointed out Wimey, "and what's the problem? He's just a dumb lumbering brute" "You don't understand!" screamed the Rani. "Power SUFFICIENT TO BUFF A GOD is only shoving him backwards! Even, EVEN if we assume he's too lobotomised to use any of his power he's never going to stop! He's just going to keep crawling through space, through time! He's like that damn snail that kills you if he ever touches you, and will never stop! Well. Me and...Wimey, over there anyway" 3/6 "Now?" asked Yssgaroth. "Now" I agreed. And a fang-rimmed portal opened as all the fine friends and slaves I had taken from this universe descended for the EXACT purpose of stopping a mad god. The robots from planet Missbelindachandra distracted him with laser fire, and UNIT brought in a room that exists outside time and space through which I entered with the wish baby. IT HAS NO NAME, and yet it ambushed Omega from behind, keeping him off balance and pinning to the ground. A random Time Hotel lady opened doors to let in real time, which apparently has the effect of un-brainwashing people in the Rani's literal world of wishes and dreams. The sufficiently advanced african storyteller deployed his giant mechanical story-spider and started re-weaving the tale of Omega-spinning away the husk of crystalised myth that had given him godhood. And last but not least, I prepared to make a wish on the baby god. "Wait I'm telling you, that god may be the most powerful member of the Pantheon, but he's simultaneously also too weak to even sustain this Earth without a power supply! Somehow!" protested the Rani. "So in other words, you're saying the wish baby has unlimited potential applications but limited energy output?" I shot back. "Well how does THE POWER OF THE ENTIRE TIME VORTEX sound?" "...well yes that would do it" she admitted. Wielding the power of the Time Vortex, I supercharged the wish baby and started using him to wish more gods into existence. A Pantheon of Order, formed in opposition to Discord. I retroactively created Light and Time and Death. I redefined God and his angels to ensure the Beast was condemned directly into a black hole without even the chance of parole. I found the Solitract and the Skaro Degradations and the Nightmare Child, and I offered them a place to belong. And I created even more gods-gods of the Time Lords that never were, gods that inhabited every meanwhile in the space between moments, gods that could have been which crowned me their king. And for good measure, I wished several other wishing god-babies into existence. 4/6 And after they descended on the struggling Omega, with a final shot of Mashu’s Rayproof Kyrelight we transformed Omega back from a shambling eldritch horror into…his old Time Lord self. “I…I exist! Omega exists again! Oh, how WONDERFUL” he sobbed, falling to his knees, “how GLORIOUS it feels…to be! To properly be!” “Omega, this man” shouted the Rani, pointing at me, “is responsible for destroying the entire Time Lord race!” “Really? Is that true?” he asked me. “Yep” I said. “Oh! Well played, sir!” he said, pumping my hand. “Fascinating ship by the way, how does it work?” he asked the storytelling african. “Oh you know, it’s just something I threw together in prehistorical Nigeria…” he said bashfully. And everyone went off to the Time Hotel to celebrate, while the Rani sputtered, screamed, and threw a tantrum. … “Well, that was anticlimatic” said Elodie. . . . And suddenly Ruby Sunday barged her way through a Time Hotel door. “Stop! STOP!” she screamed at Mashu, “if you erase the wishing world you’ll erase the Doctor and Belinda’s half-Time Lord baby who this episode is trying to assert is definitely real despite being created by wish god power without the consent of both parents!” “Uh…are you saying I should let history remain shattered to save one specific child?” asked Mashu. “YES!!! She’s a beautiful half-human half-Time Lord all-melanin enriched baby and I’LL LITERALLY DOOM THIS WORLD TO SAVE HER!!!” “Well, it’s a good thing I don’t have to engage with that particular trolley problem because here at Chaldea, we can literally summon people from realities that no longer exist” pointed out Mashu as through a portal, a random little black girl was summoned as a 1* Caster. “Oh, erm. H-hooray?” said Ruby. . . . “So are we just not going to talk about the fact that you remembered events better than THE TIMELESS CHILD herself for no particular reason?” I said flatly. “Uh…skill issue?” said Ruby. ”That is literally how we justify it in the episode, yeah” said Wimey. 5/6

>>38077 “Okay, well. You are definitely going in the Tachyon Bath until I’m certain I’ve scrubbed off all of Sutekh’s influence on you” I told Ruby. “And you” I called through a Time Hotel window at Omega, who was busy dancing on the Time Lords’ time-graves with Jane Austin “owe me big time. And YOU” I demanded of IT HAS NO NAME as it sulked in a corner, behave yourself. “And as for you the Rani-oh, Wimey? Duck” “NO, NO, NOOOOO!” SCREAMED THE RANI IN PURE THWARTED SEXUAL SUBTEXT-DEPRIVED RAGE, as she jumped straight to plan B: Straight up trying to shiv the Doctor. Or rather, the closest she could get to him. “This is all wrong! All of this is wrong!” she ranted,. “I am a TIME LADY, and the laws of reality will OBEY ME!” Wimey suddenly got a devious look on her face. “No they won’t. Hey Anon, the 4th wall breaking fanbase that Lux created. They still exist right?” “Oh yes” I said, pulling down the 4th Wall with one hand. “Hey, Doctor! I mean, Timeless Child!” said an obese woman as her britbong friends waved. “Kinda a shite episode, eh? At least the new Rani looks good” “Why thank you and GET OUT OF MY WAY!” screamed the Rani. “And they liked BLINK the most out of all Doctor Who episodes, correct?” she added, artfully flipping around another raging Rani swing. “10’s era, absolutely yes. That is” I said, realising her plan, “just about the only thing keeping them watching really. Nostalgia bait” “GOOD. Hey, Rani! I want you inside of me!” yelled Wimey, dramatically thrusting herself on the Rani’s shiv to her surprise. And in an explosion of regeneration entity, Wimey smugly regenerated into BILLIE FUCKING PIPER, the spitting image of Rose if Rose was hyper-bogged . . . “No, nonono, stay with me you’re supposed to be a man!” pleaded the Rani, collapsing to her knees just like the 10th Doctor collapsed by the Master’s side. “Try to envision your Time Lord penis, it’s not too late! Straight. WHITE. MAN!” “Sorry luv, how d’you like dem apples, innit?” sneered Wimey. “Tryn’ta cop a feel o’ me ole tackle, wot? Toff! Oi win” “WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR? WHERE DA WHITE TIME LORDS AT!” howled the Rani, pounding the ground in impotent rage. 6/6

[Fate/Legends: Garden of Avalon redux] Drawbacks: Punished Jumper, Eleven Great Battles, Deny Yourself, Absolute Fealty (1800) Alternate Timeline: Land of the Lance, Altered Fate, BLUMU Threat A Different Age (Free) Heir to the Throne (Free) My Own Path (Free) Fairy (1600) Dark Witch (1300) Darkness (900) Worthy (100) Dark Place (Free) ImportX2 (0) -Elodie: Knight, A Different Age (Free), Knightly Nature (Free), Done Right By (Free), Forgive Me (500), Fairy Blessed (300), Saint of the Sun (0), Shining Armour (Free) -Grail: Magus, A Different Age (Free), Arcane Tricks (Free), False Truth (Free), Flower Power (500), Sight Beyond Mortal Eyes (300), Incubus (0), Puppy (Free) This is a new beginning for me. In my Wishing-Heart, I know this to be true. This time, I won't let anyone die. I never asked for glory or accolades. I can live without gratitude or acknowledgement. But I can't stand to see another extinction. Here I choose to make a stand, and stake my own existence on that of this dying world. Here I prove that, given power over the constants of the planet's Texture and the trust of absolute freedom, people will choose to build and protect a gentle kingdom ruled by fair, just laws- Seven days they struck at the black mire where the court mage spoke of a primal power in the Earth that could save Uther's kingdom. Seven nights they braved the tombs of invaders from beyond the sea. Seven gloamings, the king and the mage spilt his blood into that blackened earth. But on the eighth day, Uther reeled back in horror at the thing they uncovered. "Do you see now how rotten the foundations of our world are?" asked the court mage. "The red dragon is rotten, and the white dragon devoured" And Britain's last king said "Then, there is no need for an heir at all. Cast out all my kin, to live as Calamities. Or die, damned" -no matter what the cost. 1/7 These are the British Isles, where the ruinous shoreline crumble into the sea and thunderclouds split heath and mountain with lightning as if cursing their existence. This is Britain, where black mana gushes out of the scarred land like a wound in the planet itself, and Uther's hubris casts a long shadow over the kingdom he sought to save. This is the Disunited Kingdom, where vile magecraft is almost mandatory for any lord of worth and a truly inexplicable amount of giant demon boars patrol the countryside. This is the world that I vow to save, in the back of a cart with a seething Artoria and an equally wrathful but clearheaded Morgan cursing the father that abandoned us to a brothel before declaring the World had reached it's end and sealing the gates of Camelot, refusing to elaborate. And there are many things I'd like to tell my sisters (for they think of me as a brother, and eventually more, even though I am but a wretched monster Uther dug out of the earth then bled to empower his bloodline) about what I could do to make answer to these awful circumstances, but the problem is that the World is not strong. I have learned the hard way by now that it violently stabs itself in response to salvation, that it would rather cease than relent in a specific gradient of progression. So, instead I happily consign myself to obscurity, and promise my sisters to reclaim our land even if there is no Mage of Flowers to light our way to victory. "Morgan, you were raised as a ruler. A throne isn't seized, it's earned" I tell the scheming sister after incapacitating the madam who sought to make her...work, and combing through her list of clients to begin obtaining leverage.

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"Artoria, your truest strength is as a mage. Even if all else abandons you, the sacred lance will never leave your magic circuits" I tell her as she cries into my chest, after killing a violent would-be client with a headbutt. 2/7 There are certain patterns I have observed across all timelines, and some of patterns timelines are identities. But in this Britain, this black isle, the patterns are as distorted as the Lostbelt of the sinful fairies. Artoria is almost killed by an angry mob of witch hunters when she tries to seize the sacred sword. In terror, she passes through the Reverse Side of the World-and emerges wielding the lance from her dreams, which she uses to scatter her pursuers. Morgan arrives at Tintagel not as a queen but as an assassin. She leaves a saviour, the kingdom having been overrun by alien Picts drooling at this land's Mystery, inadvertently saving it on the road to conquest. I am the only person my sisters come to count on even as Artoria devolves into an uncourth, bitter animal and Morgan comes to believe her own lies of a better future for her people. And too often, the World calls me away from their grasping hands and soft pleas. Often, I am sombrely resigned to subverting the World's thankless tasks. Sometimes, I am horrified. "You are wasting your time" Nyaralthotep says, with it's event horizon grin, it's leer manifesting on the moon. "I am a Servant of the Human Order, wielder of the Counter Force. You cannot pass. The entropic shadows will not avail you, Crawling Chaos. Go back to the void! You cannot pass" I repeat. It reaches out and touches the skein of the World experimentally, it's touch rebounding off the conceptual defence I project. It shakes what passes for it's head slowly. "Stop playing mortal and take this seriously. You can't save the World without breaking the World, even those Atlas dotards know that much" it says. "Of course, the catch there is each time this World breaks, each time the Reverse Side of the World slips free without it's anchor, my comrades..." A universe-sized Hastur suddenly looms towards this timeline. "...find new opportunities to reinvent themselves" it finishes. 3/7 Later, I will struggle to communicate the magnitude of my opposition. Of the incomprehensible threats exceeding by far the Vorpal Lapine Calamity, and the Pict Hive Queen, and Prospero-Vortigern, and the Demon God of Boars that Morgan rallies the venal lords of the land against and Artoria mantles the Wild Hunt to lead all manner of Elementals and spectres against. I will try to explain the horror of seeing an Outer God of this world somehow replicate Ashtart Origin's grand stature by gestating themselves in a microcosmic world egg ensconced in our own land's black mana. For reason dictates such foes cannot be slain without power that would shatter this timeline anyway. I will weep tears of black fire as I recall Nyarlathotep's words, that such horror is only possible due to the friction between fantasy and reality our broken land permits. And I will be astounded as somehow I, Grail, Elodie, and the Council of Merlins somehow find a way to defeat this horror-to use revelation God spontaneously grants me for manipulating the conceptual defence He also bestowed for arresting it's passage into reality, until the Grand Archer of Greece dies obliterating it's spiritual core. "Meaningless" Nyarlathotep calls out from afar, "you're fighting for a world both mankind and the planet are actively abandoning. It's impossible" "I was given power to enact the impossible" I retort. It laughs. "Keep struggling then, and reap what you sow" I do. I spoke of patterns earlier. The Knights of the Round form from strays and cutthroats rising to better themselves. Sir Lancelot arrives fleeing a veritable army of broken hearts in France. Sir Percival was orphaned by a demon boar. Sir Kay arrived to the formal knighting with a pile of stolen goods. Nobody except those of us with EX rank Claiyvorance knows when Sir Ruber showed up, only that the war had driven him mad for LAND. 4/7 When we finally besiege the castle and tear the maddened wraith Uther has become from his throne, still screaming prophecies of doom at us, the patterns continued to reassert themselves with a twist. Under my guidance, Morgan became high queen of Britain-stabilising the black energy of the isles and using her fae heritage to bid the True Ancestors into cooperation with the grateful peasantry. No mage of flowers ever lent us his blessing, but God handed me down magecraft knowledge that after passing on to her, was used to reconstruct the sword Excalibur Morgan into a battle-Bounded Field ready to spring from every English body of water. In weeks fairy magecraft fulfilled all the functions of modern convenience, pumpkin carriages flying through the sky and bubbling potions curing all mortal ills. She had her duty and her revenge, and that was enough. By contrast, A. Knight-errants disliking peace, scattered gods of far lands, and restless spirits alike rallied under banner under one cause: To destroy all of Britain's enemies, not as king or knight but as the approaching storm itself. A divine disaster on a constant path of conquest, that razed the Pict lands and crushed any lord that voiced dissent at the queen. There was dissent between the sisters. Artoria demanded that Camelot of the Farthest Shore spread across the world while Morgan insisted we consolidate the British texture. And amidst all this, I was forgotten. That was, in hindsight, another rift between the sisters. Each blaming each other for the lack of accolades I received while fighting an endless battle against Space Outer Gods. But I had never asked for any. I was too busy raising our sons. I'd mentioned before this world had a tendency to throw off predictive models and manifest miracles. Mordred being born of fae/witch womb was one thing, but Agravain was a genuine surprise. 5/7

>>46156 "Father, there is a rift in our ranks" he told me solemnly as we poured over the tax forms. "Well spotted" I told him, "as you well know your siblings favour Artoria, while those of the old guard who fought for a better Camelot cleave closer to Morgan. But there is no need for conflict. They serve the same country, merely in irreconcilable ways. Their mothers know each other too well to risk war" "And where do you think Galahad sits amongst them?" he asked. I hesitate. I don't want to consider that possibility, but it's increasingly likely. "Far away" I said, simply. Silently we congratulate each other for forcing him to not just take away the Round Table itself and turn it into a big dumb directed energy weapon. He asked me then if I didn't trust him enough to speak all my plans, and I take pains to reassure him that he is everything I ever wanted in a son. And it is the truth. I've never had a son before. Lilith did not permit it, and I did not have the context to desire it. Now here I sit, with a bright dutiful young man who wants only to make me proud. And as for Mordred, well...she's doing her best, I thought as she waved at me while riding out with grim-faced Artoria. This was a land of miracles I promise them both that one day, I will explain it all to them. When they walk with me as immortal godheads. But for now, to enjoy the simplicity of mortal duty. For better or worse I thought later, snatching away the Holy Grail from Galahad. "What are you doing?" I asked sharply. "Returning it" he replied without a trace of remorse or comprehension. I regard him. Lancelot's son, apex of the Round Table. He reminds me of myself in all the worst ways. "Is there a problem?" he asked, sharp and cold as jagged ice. "This kingdom cannot last. It only makes sense to conserve resources by returning this" "You swore an oath to defend this kingdom" I tell him, "and save the World" "I have defended it enough" he retorts. "And the World itself has rejected this timeline. There has never been a fairer execution" 6/7 I knew from the start that the real threat was not Morgan or even Vortigern. It would be him. The cold machine that mechanically assesses fair outcomes without considering any other possibilities. But even to him, I extended a hand. I hoped we could save the world together. -and then- -IT ALL GOES WRONG Nyarlathotep chooses to strike at the EXACT moment I sense the Counter Force sending Grand Servants into my Kingdom. What I assume to be an attack is revealed instead to be a blessing of Eldritch Energy that elevates all the ungrateful, rebellious nobles into Pseudo-Foreigners hellbent on tearing my kingdom apart. Good turns to evil, order turns to chaos, and Artoria and Morgan fight a pointless battle- -and- -and I'm in the ruins of Camelot. Staring. At the shattered bodies of my children. And standing atop them, Galahad. Soaked in their blood. "They die in every timeline" he tells me. "There is fairness in progress" I see red. "It is inevitable. One world must die so a hundred thousand can live" he tells me. Ignoring a group of men who once rode at Uther's side are launching lances through my back, I reach out to resurrect my children -and stop. Because the power to do so, in THIS wretched world would BREAK THE CONSERVATION OF ENERGY AND RISK RUPTURING it Because. My children. Died. Fighting for my dream.

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"This is the irrefutable logic of the Counter Force" "Please. Please wake up" I ask the bodies of my children as the gentry laugh and jeer at me. "So many miracles. So many second chances. Please use all of them to wake up" And they do not "Your foolish dream ends now" says Galahad. "You are right" I agree, quietly. I shut my eyes, as Anon. "Then, farewell...Lucius Artorias Castus. Calamity of Rome. Bottomless pit in the World" I open them, as Apollyon. And Albion roars through me, "I am NOT the pit. I am the flame within it" And as Elodie lets out a scream, Galahad sees red too. 7/7

>>46157 [Fate/Legends: Oasis of Fantasy redux] Drawbacks: Eternal Fate, Sumerian Pride, Wild Man, Holy Mountain of Corpses, The Book of Jumper, So-Called Chosen One (2000) Challenges: Divine Heart Destroyers, Mother of Monsters Sumer - 2800 BCE Alternate Timeline: Embedded Keystone, Seventy Two Demon Kings, Black Pharaoh, Galgamesh Holy Person An Age of Gods (Free) Age of Monsters: Living Disaster (Absolute Agent EX) (1400) Crusader (Free) Divine Harlot (Free) Voice of the World (1200) Body of the World (900) Divine Protection (600) Fleshly God (Divine Core of the Archangel EX) (200) Weapon For A Holy War (Free) Eternal Flower (100) Little Shadow (Free) ImportX2 (0) -Elodie: King, An Age of Gods (Free), AUO (Free), The Seat of the Pharaoh (Free), Sovereign (400), Collector (0), Eternal Flower (Free) -Grail: Dark One, An Age of Gods (Free), Hashashin Training (Free), The Softer Side (Free), The First Poison (400), All The World's Evil And More To come (0), Death Bag (Free) This is the end of my journey. In my Wishing-Heart, I know this to be true. What I have done is unforgivable, and I deserve to die. But first I have to make sure everything else doesn't. To slay the Crawling Chaos and it's ilk. If God has judged me than so be it, but my death must not be in vain. Here I choose to make a stand. Here I demonstrate the fallacy of a just world as defined by violent apes, and carve an eternal world from this rotting husk. Here I lay down the law MY CHILDREN DIED FOR- "Anon?!" Oh. ...oh, right. Elodie is trying to get my attention, here at the liminal border to my cosmos. She's worried. She has every right to be. "-know that was awful, but we don't know what Nyarlathotep is planning to do to this world-" "-and it DOESN"T MATTER" yelled Grail. "We LOST because we held back our greatest powers! Our deadliest weapons! All to accommodate this STUPID, ungrateful world!" "Yes" I said softly. 1/9

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Elodie threw me a look full of horror and realisation and, I am proud to see, the quiet calculation I taught her. "Why don't you go back in? Take a break" I ask her, kindly and gently. "I just have one more thing to take care of". Grail, I am utterly unsurprised, is shocked-but slowly warming to what is to come. "That sounds awfully final, anon" said Elodie. "That's because it is. Let me speak plainly. Every half measure was a waste, and this twisted game needs to be reset" I said flatly. "Every Tree of Time must be torn out by the roots. My subjects! My creations dear!" I call out to the worlds of my creation. "Bar tight the gates to your domain. NOTHING GETS IN OR OUT lest the Human Order crawl in to escape what is to follow, without my business partner's say-so" And in that moment, I know I've lost her. She doesn't even know what I'm prepared to do but- -I've lost her. ... Would I have lost my children too, if they knew what I was about to- -what am I saying. The answer is obvious. And irrelevant. Grail is already hopping up and down with joy. One last chance. "Just stand aside" I tell her, "it'll be quick as a Genesis Box" "We could use an ACTUAL Genesis Box to wipe the slate clean-" began Grail. "Counter Force" I remind her, as she deflates. "Well in that case...where do we start?" says Elodie even as she begins to scheme against me. "Sumer, kid-I mean, Elodie" I say. I reach out to her, and that she has to fight not to shy away stabs me more fiercely than any traitor's spear. "God, how long have you been grown up for? Feels...feels just like yesterday we started all this?" "...you mean, we're going back" said Elodie. "We're finishing this together. You hear me?" There. Now she knows where I'm going, now that I've lost her. The die is cast, the choice is made. "If you say so" I whisper. But if saving her means merely losing her, then it's no choice at all. I foresee the coming conflict in an instant. I stop holding back. 2/9 "-and I understand that this may sound extreme, but when you have the power to-" Grail paused. We were at an intersection between three Textures. One was lit by a ring of light on high. One had numerous palaces made of gold, floating in the sky. And in one, there was black sand as far as the eye could see and a bit further, pooling around a hauntingly familiar black pyramid with three red-lobed eyes staring straight at us. Grinning. "You're trying to convince me to stifle my mercy. To cease my restraint. To render every oath I've made to leave this multiverse better than I found it...empty" I said, not looking at Grail. "I just-" "It's alright. This IS more important. In fact" I said, clutching a fist as I felt the Life Equation tighten around my own spiritual core, "it's SO important that I'm having to suspend us into timeless symmetry with the space between moments so that neither God, nor man, nor Nyarlathotep has a chance to stop what is coming" "Soon" I mutter to God, "not now. But soon" "And what IS coming?" asked Grail, trembling with anticipation. "Does it have anything to do with-" "Your present condition? I trust it doesn't hurt too much?" "...if you really are outside space and time, you KNOW this feels like" Grail paused. "...home" "Yes, but it's polite to ask. I chose you for a reason. Curses ARE a significant power source here, and you're how I intend to generate the energy we'll need. Ready an Other Box, a set of Apokoliptan hyper-artfacts, and yes-a Genesis Box". I paused, waited, held out my hand and felt some rings fall into it. "Hah. The old man's right on time, even as he's literally trying to break my heart. Here, I'm going to create some magical arrays. Use them to reach out and collect every sin, every curse from all timelines" "And then?" "I'll condense them with the First. I'll contain them with the Second. I'll amplify them with the Third. And with the 5th, we'll ignite it all" "I-I see, and the Fourth?" "Irrelevant" "Of course. Anon, this is what I was born to do" says Grail passionately. "Not for my father's sake. For mine! For yours! So don't you hold back on me. I will bring the multiverse under your control...master" ... She doesn't know, I think as I look at her smiling face, her gleeful energy. She thinks that like Darkseid, I take joy in any of this. I suppose there's no point in telling her otherwise. And I don't have time to correct her. "You don't have to call me anything different. You know that right?" I ask her. "Yes" she says, winking, "master" 3/9 From my vantage point outside time and space, I could see Nyarlathotep lazily cracking it's whip across the sky-driving terrified labourers to generate Eldritch Energy. I could see the other world's Gilgamesh speaking to a flying sheep about gold, wheat and multiversal realpolitik. And most importantly, I could see a demon god coalition organised across 72 regions. That would be where I recruited my first ally. I almost regretted what I was going to have to do, as I introduced myself at the border of the 71st region. As an additional creation of God, I was coldly scrutinised for signs of the divine's interest in human expansion by the entity perched in Solomon's corpse. We spoke of prosperity and purpose, we discussed the movements of the human rebels as well as the spite of the rebellious elder deities. He demonstrated with contemptuous ease that he was not only aware of such rebellion, but had the capacity to stop it at any time. "Then you have everything you set out to accomplish?" I said. "It is so" said that world's Goetia. Goetia Lily, one might say, given his optimism. "We must disappoint you. There is no need for our participation in your temporal crusade-and know that we will retaliate if it affects our kingdom" "I see. Well, far be it from me to interfere with such a noble goal. I'll just go then, since you clearly have the Human Order Revision Incident in hand too" The thing made in Solomon's image tilts. "Wait. The...what?" "What was it you said drove you to form this kingdom again?" "The optimal guidance of human prosperity" "So you haven't used your Clairvoyance to see where that prosperity leads to in...say, 4817 years from now?" "What a strange and arbitrary date" he said, focusing. "I certainly don't foresee...wait. What? Marisbilly...CHALDEAS...the universe..." NO, roars a desperate demon king. 4/9 And so, I have my first ally who despite emerging as a nascent Beast from his sheer horror at what is to come, joins me to self-defence of his own humans. He is given a gift from me-a condensed version of Hastening Night's End captured into a token-to bestow on my next ally. The second Beast about to emerge from the Sea of Imaginary Numbers. Moved by her mournfulness after explaining my plan to her, with my blessing he desperately reaches out across time and space to find other rare humans that could ally with our cause. Lesser familiars awaken their Pillar Demon masters in the time of Asyria, offering Queen Semiramis a neverending rule. A Hashashin outcast is offered a pact to truly master death. I personally reach out to my brother in this world, to offer him a chance to stand on the correct side of history. I am rebuffed. I beg him not to die with the rest of the human filth. He gently tells me he was planning to anyway, so nothing has changed. And understanding my situation, offers an alternative interpretation of it. I leave. Which leaves me to the last ally to be recruited: The female version of an old enemy. As is the case for some reason with many female versions of such beings Šilamkurra, three-halves divine god-queen of the Fertile Crescent Texture, is magically and physically superior to Gilgamesh yet far less emotionally confident under her bluster. All I have to do is point to the fate of Ashtart Origin in the Servantverse, a timeline so far removed from the current Tree of Time that the gods seldom bother to peer that far. On my way back, I am waylaid by a pair of goddesses arguing over what amounts to the unfairness of Uruk's immortal ruler not being a man AND being a rival for the affections of any. What follows next is irrelevant, but more allies are always welcome. Jewelled flowers blossom in the underworld, and I grimly reflect it may be the last time I bring life in my existence. 5/9 And off they all go. Goddesses and queens, demons assuming a human form and heroes aspiring for freedom from the Human Order-as one, laying siege to the forces converging at Nyarlathotep's Texture. Delaying it's inevitable emergence. All I have to do is attend to Other Box, and ensure nothing tampers with- -ah. "Elodie, you appear to have forgotten to carry the Human Order Foundational Value with those calculations" I said, boiling with rage. "Anon, this has to stop. Not everyone deserves to die just because-thing didn't work out!" argues Elodie. "Look at you! What's...what's with that creepy golden aurora, the fire at your soul. It's wrong. It looks sick, twisted-" "-cancerous?" I ask. "It is no more so than the Human Order itself I assure you, and as for your sabotage-check them again". She does. My acausal presence has already reset the values. "Listen to me. It's them, or us. And I chose you. ALL of you" "And I choose" says Elodie, her voice cold and bitter as frozen diamonds, "to stop holding back too" And my daughter in all but blood lashes out at me. Not as heroes, not even as god-queen and archangel. But as Jumper and heir apparent

>>48261 She unfurls into song and light, singing out a hundred thousand accusations and sealings. She uses the Noble Phantasms of Human History like alchemical cauldrons for wishes shot at me from every point of space, at every moment of time. She brandishes the power of the Phoenix-and horrified, withdraws it just as quickly when the timeline trembles- -and it is the opening I need to parry her attacks. YOU'LL REACH THEM, she howls in a voice that echoes throughout all art, OVER MY DEAD BODY AVOIDING THAT, I bellow as even limited by my current avatar as a focus I maintain the lead with my greater experience at Imperium, IS PRECISELY WHY THIS IS NECESSARY! "Mind if I cut in?" asks Nyarlathotep. 6/9 The prototype of Durandal strikes true-only to cut nothing. For beneath the clay of the gods is revealed the pale gleam of the moon, the incandescent power of the Earth, the molten heart of the sun-and the crystalline perfection of the Oort Cloud. Too late Elodie realises my baseline presence in this world is not merely an archangelic human. It is an archangelic human redesigned by the survival strategies of four Ultimate Ones. And that's all the opportunity I need to banish her from the solar system as at last, AT LONG LAST, I match blades with Nyarlathotep. "Do you want to know something funny? The reason why I'm here" said Nyaralathotep, bracing it's tentacles against the Excaliburs formed from my flesh "is because HUMANITY summoned me" I see them in the background. The Hassans are facing down the Demon Pillars, the heralds of death wrestling the undying. Hateful Galahad is stalemated by Tiamat simply sitting atop him and begging him to be a good boy. The true Gilgamesh is jobbing to his female counterpart, admittedly mainly because she, Ishtar and Ereshkigal have called a temporary truce to gang up on him. "They called out for the ultimate Mooncancer Servant and well, since Kiara was already on your team" it says, cackling as streets explode into plasma, "I was the best they could get! Isn't that hilarious?!" Rings flicker, and a blast of accelerated magical energy cores through darkness. "Mankind would side with it's ORDAINED EXECUTIONER, over someone who actually appreciates it!" it roared at me, as dispassionately, with cold focus, I cleaved through it's non-euclidean mass. "It's in their nature to destroy themselves, and they crowned me their HERO because the Beasts weren't doing a good enough job!" it screeches, as I trample it as Michael trod upon Lucifer. "That's right. Go on, escalate. Do what you do best" it jeers. 7/9 "Find the path, EAT the path. Break every law, to MAKE every law", it cackles. "For a while there, I really was worried you'd just give up in Eden. But my niece steered you down the dexter path, didn't she? Oh, you REALLY know how to pick them" it says, pulling the Sea of Imaginary Numbers up and over me, smothering me in a tide of quasi-existence. "But even if she's not one of mine, rest assured: You'll play your role just as I intended, and get me what I want along the way. Because choice, choice is an illusion. Between those with agency, and those without it" "Inaction too, is a choice" I tell it, slackening the Life Equation's grip. And Nyarlathotep tsks at that. "Fine. Be like that. Delay the inevitable" it says, even as hesitation belies it's plans going awry, as Elodie comes hurtling back towards the installation, and as Tiamat tackles the Outer God from behind. STEP AWAY FROM THE CONTROLS, I demand of Elodie, entering the installation. NOW. THE SYSTEM IS SUBCRITICAL! "All the more reason to smash it, you monster!" screams Elodie, frantically trying to spin down the power unleashed. YOU ARE IN DANGER, I shout as the torrent of sin and Omega Energy threatens to explode across every world. Regaining full control of the meta-machinery with sheer will, I redirect the apocalypse. THIS IS NOT YOUR FIGHT! And- (This, I have not foreseen) -and Elodie wields the Warehouse key, my keyblade-

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(Plucked from Elsewhere as we fought) -and she rams it into my chest. An opening to my heart of hearts emerges. The energy of sin destabilises All the power, Telos and Imperium and Crisis Energy, everything I used to regain control of the apocalypse, is about to be set loose upon us both. So there's only one thing left to do. I throw myself in the way of it. I absorb the attack. I am annihilated. 8/9 It is some time later. I am falling through what I dimly recognise to be the Root. I am so much less than I was. I am stardust falling outside space and beyond time, I am glittering wreckage, my subsouls' screams of pain and defiance echoing into nowhere (except Islinde, who I balefully watch throw wide the gates of my defences. Guiding Elodie's final shot towards me. And God is with me. My killer. My father. ...twice now, my victim. "Well, I hope you're happy" he says, and there is humour and kindness but also fierce judgement in his gaze. I suddenly realise God is dead too. "The aftershock" "It took us both, yes" He sounds like Solomon, but... Younger. More at ease. The distinction matters little but it seems we are falling in different directions. In the distance, as if underwater, I see my allies triumphant. Nyarlathotep scuttling away having smugly accomplished some secret purpose even as my death curse stains it's being forever. Not just here, but in every reality-my very being exhausted to crack the walls of the greater multiverse and impose a secret weakness of my own upon it. Nearer, I see Elodie, stunned and weeping at what I have done, still unable to comprehend that I saw this coming. That I accepted this outcome. That I would suffer no cosmic horrors to exist, not even myself. "I __e you" the last vestige of me tells her, and she tries to embrace it as if on reflex, but it is gone, and I am gone. "After everything you did for me. If you deem me abhorrent" I ask God. "why not just kill me instead of my children?" "You are not being punished" said God, with a sigh. "I am trying to teach you a lesson, and you are very stubborn" "I am dead. There is nothing more to learn. I've accomplished everything I could ever need to, in an infinitude of lifetimes" "Is that all you're willing to settle for? I see Grail striding from the reactor, full of rage. Grief. I see Elodie staggering backwards. I see Grail ramming the Necrosword through her. I see the sky turn black with her rage as, pointlessly, Grail wastes her time and energy on trying to resurrect what should never have been able to die in the first place. I. Stop. Falling. "Is that all you're satisfied with?" I see the Crawling Chaos laughing and laughing as I die with humanity. I see it choke suddenly. I see it stare aghast at something imperceptible and in it's alien manner, twitch in what might be the primitive undulation that proceeds complex fear. "If you disagreed with me hard enough to overturn fate itself, how can you accept this as an outcome?" "But I'm dead-" God sighed. "Beast Saint Graph, Ultimate One, phenomena-you sought so hard for what I long ago gave you. Because you cannot accept the mistakes of your first life, you are unable to rid yourself of suffering. So. If you won't accept endless possibilities in exchange for detrimental outcomes, keep struggling" "But...I DESERVE to be dead!" God smiled. "But Anon" he said, with playful glibness, "nobody gets what they deserve in the multiverse. Why should you be any different?" The cold, white flame in me denies death. Kindles anew. I remain scattered by my own power, but an insignificant of myself reactivates. "Why? Why are you doing this?!" I shouted at him as I started rising. "When I return, if takes me a trillion trillion years I will regain all I have lost, lead my armies across the multiverse and bring all under my heel! THIS IS YOUR SUREST CHANCE TO KILL ME!" And he laughed. "Because I love you, you idiot. Because be you saints or sinners, I find you all wonderful. And because I'm trying to grant your wish" "I wish to destroy humanity! I wish to erase history! I wish to kill Nyarlathotep at all costs!!" "You wish for those things" God agreed, "but you also wished, even at the end, that there was a way to save them all" I stare at God, shocked beyond words, as against my will I'm made to live. 9/9

>>31090 [Rick and Morty] The hyperdimensional crystal I'd made to stay in touch with Morty rang, and I stopped calcifying another Spaghetti Person-ruled planet to hop on over to the Smith household. Not the type of human whose organs turn into spaghetti upon death due to a highly specific biological process by the way, these were actually sentient miniature flying spaghetti monsters that existed to fulfil some sort of horribly outdated cultural reference. The point is, I showed up with some spaghetti for what I assumed was a Smith family easter only to find the family having trapped Jerry in a giant crystal after he'd tried to teach everyone the true meaning of easter. Only to instead of have run over the Easter Bunny in his car. And then vomited on it's corpse. "Hello, Morty. Would you like me to teach you the true meaning of Easter?" I asked, brandishing an array of Matrix-style plugs. Each festively colored for easy ID. "I've got a few modified strains of the Ouroboros System that can-" "W-what, no dude! I wanna UN-learn the meaning of Easter!" exclaimed Morty. "I stream Fortnite now, I'm Streamer Morty and my dad's festive cheer is getting in the way of chat! Can you fix him? Please?" "Is that a simulation?" said Rick, scanning my stuff. "Yep" I said. He burped in outrage. "Dude, not cool! We already did a simulation episode, that's so last couple of weeks ago!" I ignored him and stared at Jerry's frozen, helpless form. "You know what, that's an absolutely reasonable reaction in this reality. Alright, deactivate the crystal, I'll just inject him with these femtomachines" "Wait, what?" said Rick, as Jerry was freed, gasping, and I shot him with a harmless laser to fill him full of femites. "Um...thanks? I feel like some sort of opportunity was missed though..." mumbled Jerry. "It totally was" I admitted, "but, no offence, your sex life is a lower priority than social order" "What" 1/3 "Hey! Hey, what gives!?" yelled Rick as Morty fistbumped me. "You can't just, show up to a conflict and instantly figure out the solution! How fucking boring do you have to be to not" he said, staring at the dead rabbit monster's corpse, "go on an adventure to...I dunno, Germany, and investigate this further?" "This boring" I said patiently. "I take pride in my boredom" "You're a third rate conflict killer with a fourth rate plot device, Anon!" he accused me. "I just saved you from prolonged social interaction with Jerry. You can run the numbers and check" I pointed out. He visibly shuddered and backed away. "...you know what fair enough, I take back everything I said. Thank you for your service sir, I'm just gonna be in the garage getting blackout drunk" he said, scampering away. "Thanks again, man" said Morty, after he was done streaming and I went on a separate misadventure to remind the Smiths not to forget Summer at spring break. "I really appreciate you taking your time out conquering universes to like, help us out. You uh, conquered anywhere interesting lately?" "Spaghetti people again" "Damn, really? That's like the 40,191st time now" said Morty, drawing a little tally mark on his post-it notes. Morty hesitated as I prepared to leave. "Spaghetti, huh...hey, wait! Okay, I SHOULD know better from the LAST time I looked too deeply into a good thing, but there's a dead alien rabbit in the garbage and I need peace of mind over it. What's that thing's deal? Why did you imply it's THE Easter Bunny?" I winced. "Because it is" "Shit" "Do you really want to know the details here" "I, I regret asking but, fuck it!" 2/3

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"Okay so you know Prometheus, the movie? So there's this race of giants with butts where their dicks should be and dick-shaped spacecraft, and the Easter Bunny is actually an alien that kills planetary populations by using pheromones to make them literally go fuck themselves to death (and also super strength, claws etc), and the giants worship the bunny while the Space Christians oppose it because-" "OH GOD STOP STOP NO NO NO" screamed Morty. "N-no, that's stupid! I'M STUPID for wanting to know this! Oh god, Rick was right! Sometimes you just have to NOT think about shit like this! Just skip ahead to what you did to my dad!" "That? Well, anyone who kills the Easter Bunny becomes the Easter Bunny through some unknown mechanism but fortunately whatever medium does this can be interfered with high energy beams and a suitable, suspiciously Easter Egg-like containment unit so I just applied those principles, modified them into cellular enzymes, and basically sealed the Easter Bunny inside your dad indefinitely" He slumped in his chair. "Well um, damn. T-that almost makes sense. Thanks Anon..." "Not a problem. Your existence on this plane is brief, Morty. Try to focus on what's important" I said, leaving again. Later, Morty looked at his dad dejectedly packing up all the easter decorations, and felt bad for him. Suddenly he realised I'd slipped him the Meaning of Easter injector while he wasn't looking. He spent the night studying it's designs, ran some calculations and decoded which enzymes could be decoded to provide increased sex drive/appeal without giant rabbit transformation. Then he surreptitiously hacked into the femtomachines. That night, Jerry and Beth had a very, very pleasant surprise that put Beth in an incredibly happy mood and made Jerry feel slightly less worthless for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, I was conquering a universe whose earth was run by lasagna people. 3/3

[Kengan Ashura redux] Xia Yan, the "Head" of the "Worm" and theoretical mastermind of sinister kung fu conspiracies, blinked. He took a deep breath. Let it out. Then he slapped himself once, twice, across the face, all the while Rama XIII smiled placidly and Nogi did his best poker face impression (while inwardly shitting himself). Once he had ascertained that he was not, in fact, having a bad dream he signed the piece of paper in front of him with the sombreness of a man on death row. "I can't actually believe this is happening" he complained. "I could say me neither. All those possibilities and probabilities for how this world could have, and it just happened to bumble along the one that resulted in my cloned armies being irrelevant" I said. "But well, such is the burden of Time/Space 10. All times and moments are one time and one moment. And as far out as I can see, I see nothing but slice of life shenanigans for us all" "I don't know what you're talking about, but luckily I don't want to know what you're talking about" grumbled Yan, swallowing his third Tylenol "because I'm about to officially sign up what's left of the Worm as an official member of the Kengan Association. Because apparently THAT'S how we're doing thing around here, since Wulong needs an OFFICIAL SPONSOR to participate in a KENGAN ELIMINATION TOURNAMENT god this is so stupid" "Sir, this works out for everyone" pointed out Rama XIII. "Either your Connector problem dies in the arena or we lose a few fighters at no cost. What's the problem?" "The problem?" Yan laughed mirthlessly. "Well, the problem is I just totalled my entire ancient kung fu conspiracy for something I could've easily arranged on my own, all because Wulong just had to go and have a beer with the wrong man. The problem is I just realised I've given full control of the nukes to our LEAST trustworthy man. And the problem, THE PROBLEM, IS THAT NONE OF YOU REALISE WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH" 1/4 Yan started explaining that Shen Wulong apparently had vast and terrible powers beyond merely his huisheng'd knowledge of fighting principles, but then he started crying and the Tylenol started kicking in so his henchmen awkwardly helped him out while Rama XIII fussed over him. Conveniently deferring the explanation to a subsequent chapter update. And so, I coolly withdrew. Things were settling down at the Kengan Association with everyone giving themselves a pat on the back despite very little actual fighting having done by anyone except the Kure and Wu clans. In one hospital ward Kiryu was bemoaning his (justified) fears of having no future for himself after everything he'd done and even running out of reasons to live, to which Ohma literally pulled the nepotism card by offering to have Rama XIII set him up with a new life. To which Kiryu reacted by blushing and turning over so Ohma wouldn't see his boner, not least because of Ohma densely manspreading right in front him. I turned 180 degrees from this intimate moment and decided to walk in on the lunch topic of the week. "Y'know, I'm not even sure why I'm fighting at this point" said Koga, the alleged protagonist. "Thanks to Idemitsu I'm basically the Sean O'Malley of the Kengan-Purgatory merger, I've got world-class fighters lining up to train me, I even got in touch with my hacker friend from highschol and got my revenge on THAT BASTARD APE Yumi. I just...don't know why I'm fighting, you know? Wulong himself told me to just lift weights to get better" "Yeah, I hear you" said Ryuki, "I mean I've basically been detoxing from using lethal force (which was apparently making me stagnate as a fighter) and read a decades-old book written by a clan Wulong (heroically) annihilated as many years ago" "I hear you guys" said Ohma, "because honestly? I don't even WANT revenge on Tiger Niko" 2/4 "That's very considerate of you, Ohma" I said carefully, "considering he killed your mentor and all" "Yeah but, I mean" said Ohma, trying to communicate something nuanced about life and human nature, and giving up "shit happens, you know? I'm just saying. I wanna meet him in person before doing something. That's the honourable thing to do" "Yeah, unlike that RAT BASTARD Luohan" said Koga, slamming his fist on the table. All the boys suddenly looked up, like bloodhounds senseing a fox. As if guided by one hivemind, everyone started shitting on Luohan and blaming him for increasingly absurd things. Even people from other tables started drifting nearby to randomly shit on Luohan" "I heard Luohan poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague onto our houses!" "Luohan?! Don't even say that piece of shit's name, I'll kill him! I'll his head off and Blast Core down the hole!" "I can't stand it, knowing monsters like him are out there in the world..." "I've got Muteba on line 2, he says he'll kill Luohan at a discount, I'm making the call-" "-honesty killing Luohan is a privilege, not a duty, but the man does deserve to be rewarded for his craft-" "-fight Shen? Nah, I wanna KILL LUOHAN!" Even the CEOs were joining in. Rino was rubbing her tits all over Rei's scurffy hair while he edged himself to the thought of Luohan's imminent demise. Akira was describing anti-Luohan strategies to Cosmo, Rihito, the Falcon and every other up and coming fighter in earshot, suggesting counters to his cowardly ways. Kazzy was pointing at random fighters and screaming that they were transcending through sheer hatred of Luohan. Kuroki walked into the lunch hall, declared that he hated Luohan, and then left for the forest again without explaining. "Man, they really hate Luohan in there huh?" said Shen, outside where there was less testosterone in the atmosphere. "Not that I blame them" 3/4

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"Honestly I still don't get why they hate the guy so much" I said, "compared to, I mean, some of the CEOs who literally profit off human suffering. But what do I know? I've just been impregnating Karla and Fusui while twiddling my thumbs and making mad money by abusing EX rank Clairvoyance on fight betting" "Hey, thanks for lending me those advanced cloning facilities by the way" said Shen casually, "I'm really glad you lent me them early on so I could just chill, drink beer and hang out with all these strong fun guys instead of pretend to start a war or whatever" "Honestly, I should be thanking YOU. I'm just glad I got SOME utility out of those cloning facilities" I said, shaking my head as both of us pondered the endless production lines of Shens currently dormant in the Kaminoan-style facilities I'd originally intended to build my Kure army with once Karla was too tired to carry more children. ... "Hey Shen, why don't we go have a look at what Luohan's doing?" "Funny you should ask, I was just about to visit him" And so, with the "final boss" now recruited to the side of the "heroes", there was only one thing left to do: Investigate the "mastermind characters". One of them was foaming on the mouth like a crack addict (Tiger Niko). "Um, is this a bad time?" asked Shen. And the other one was currently having the VR-induced martial arts equivalent of an orgasm (Luohan himself. I refuse to use the term gooning to mean anything other than work-for-hire employment by a criminal/supervillain) "Oh shit oh shit ohshitshitshitSHIT Luohan we're rumbled, what do we do?" yelped Tiger Niko, understandably horrified by the Connector just showing up. "TIME TO DIE, ORIGINAL!!!" shrieked Luohan, tearing off his VR headset with a thousand yard stare. "...we're going to die broke" whimpered Tiger Niko, staring at us. "I hate you so much, Luohan" "Yeah, I know right? Luohan's SO annoying" said Shen. 4/4

>>50161 ...Kengan still feels like having a seizure.

>>50165 It's definitely still making me feel like I'm having a seizure from laughter. Best comedy manga of the decade, no doubt.

a thousand Li Sun Wukong build: location: wilderness cultivation skills: cultivation stage: energy projection -300 the three dantians -400 aura sensing and control -free chi sensing: hearing -free moving cultivation -100 chi regeneration -100 elemental affinity: lightning -free illusions -200 clones -200 bloodline: monkey -300 martial skills: sense of weapon x2: body (unarmed combat) and Bo staff -400 Wu Wei -200 perks: technique creation -100 martial genius -200 enlightenment: sense of the Dao: Dao of freedom and defiance -200 cultivation genius -300 strong soul -300 item: bo staff (jingu riu bang knockoff): immortal level weapon -300 enchantment: -200 >extreme and fast size alteration at will (length and/or circumference) Companion: pet spirit beast: core formation level monkey -free a thousand Li +0 ugly+100 dirty peasant +100 poor social skills +200 Arrogant +100 expelled +100 poor +200 hothead +200 bad reputation +200 ire of your betters +200 Envy of your peers +200 Tasty +400 War torn +400 Dark sect +400 I'm a distant great grandchild of the monkey king himself. Well as a result of me awakening my bloodline, i've become a complete and utter outcast, having been expelled by my sect, being hated by everyone and generally being hunted down by the dark sect and all the beasts surrounding me. Still i got a monkey companion that will help my train while in the wild, doubtlessly teaching me valuable monkey style martial techniques, but of course also boosting my monkey bloodline.

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Due to my drawbacks i can scarcely be seen in civilisation again, but the wilderness is equally dangerous, only my aura controll and illusion skills keeping me alive. The war will pull me into it anyway at some point, but hopefully i'll be ready then. The end goal is to truly emulate the great sage, reach immortality and then topple all of heaven with an army of clones, an incredible weapon, a chi reserve that just won't end and martial skills bar none.

>>48665 [Rick and Morty redux] >Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95884526/#95888768 After 8 seasons of apocalypse-induced cynicism, life or death struggles and traumatic experiences, Rick and Morty found themselves back where they started: Stealing generic fucking "space coal" energy crystals from a goddamn ship full of cryostasis'd not!Vulcans. There was just one problem. Apparently the lock technology was too advanced for Rick to deal with so what could've been an altercation resulted in Morty threatening to call me to come solve the problem, Rick screaming that they couldn't just use me to handwave every problem in the series, and me showing up through a portal right before Rick and Morty devolved into another fucking petty brawl. "Wow. Your universe is digging at the absolute bottom of the barrel for pop culture references" I commented. "W-what, Vulcans?" asked Morty. "Uh, technically Star Trek is still making new stuff so i-it's topical! This isn't a culture war thing isn't it?" "Not even the pseudo-Vulcans, Morty. I'm talking about Curious George. There's a skeleton of a Curious George expy in that one pod, and a Man In The Yellow Hat expy in that other pod" I told him. Morty blink. "Jesus christ, yeah that is...Rick, do people even remember Curious George?" "Bitch, who asked?" snarled Rick. "Well, Morty actually" I pointed out. "Morty, stop asking!" yelled Rick, and in the time it took Morty to come up to a retort to that I simply rendered the advanced spaceship vault translucent with my Primordial gaze, revealing all the space coal having been stolen. ... "Huh" said Rick. "Well, that's uh. That's very. Well. Fuck, way to throw away 15 minutes of an entire episode" "It's something you could've found out if you'd just portaled into the vault instead of try to pick the lock" I said. 1/2 "WOW yeah it sure would be cool if I solved every problem in front of me with advanced science!" yelled Rick. In fact, why go on adventures at all? Might as well just strap myself into a VR simulation and use AI slop to generate whatever EASILY SOLVED PROBLEM your fucking OUT OF CONTEXT POWERS can just MEANINGLESSLY HANDWAVE!" "Oh, you mean like the time you just hacked magic with your technology?" I asked. Rick blinked. "Uh..." "Or the time you hijacked Valhalla for perpetual energy?" "H-hey, that wasn't-" "How about the time you made a hydrogen-powered forcefield to deflect metanarrative powers?" Rick stared at me. For no particular reason, cybernetic limbs extended from his back and scratched his head. "...Morty, what the fuck are we doing?" he said blankly. "We've established hick versions of me can fucking farm energy crystals.. I, I used to think we were stealing them for love of the game but y'know, at a certain point..." "...you just feel like you're stealing them because that's all you've ever known how to do?" asked Morty. "Yeah. Yeah you're right, grandson. This was stupid. All of this was stupid. Let's just go". And Rick left to have a long, hard drink in his UFO. ... "So uh, what would've happened in the timeline we stayed?" asked Morty. "Heartwarming child impersonation by him, accidental rebel-rousing by you, and a whacky musical montage space race. All of which results in lots of people here getting killed" I told him

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"Jesus, that sounds horrible" said Morty shuddering. "It does, doesn't it?" "I-I-I mean seriously? Whacky musical race? At the rate that the out of touch boomers writing our existence are going, our next adventure's gonna be about rescuing Betty Boop from Yor's World! KIDS DON'T WATCH LOONEY TUNES DAN, THEY WATCH ANIME AND TIKTOK!" ranted Morty, storming off to the UFO too. 2/2

>>50187 >A thousand Li >Madara Uchiha build starting location/background: Army >Cultivation techniques/skills The Three Dantians (400) Elemental Affinity: Fire (Madara's Fire Release affinity) Elemental Body: Wood (300) — For regeneration and link to Hashirama/wood-style, also wood chi will feed the fire release techniques Illusions (200) Clones (200) — shadow and/or wood clones Chi Sensing: Sight (Free) — Aura Sensing and Control (100) — Perceive others' cultivation and gain an energy shield moving cultivation (100) chi regeneration (100) — draws in chi from outside at great rates Fine Control (100) Two Minds Technique (100) — Reflects Madara's complex planning/thinking >Custom Techniques: [300 CP] all seeing eye (Custom Technique) You have unlocked a unique soul manifestation that mimics the power of the Sharingan, based on the unique enhancements of the some of users other skills, dao and specializations, by pouring vast amounts of chi into those skills. This grants battle precogintion and technique copying: combining chi sensing:sight, aura sensing and control as well as cultivation genius and martial prodigy and the dao of spacetimeChi-enhanced perceptual insight (allows user to see everything, copy martial and cultivation techniques and predict attacks) Illusions (pouring chi into the illusion skill you can actively cast powerful illusions via eye contact alone) at very high levels of cultivation (at least nascent soul): time rewind. By using the dao of spacetime user can rewind time for only short burst at massive chi costs [200 CP] all crushing force using spacetime control to affect gravity, the user can use massive repulsive and attractive gravitational forces, with the center of those forces being the user or outisde of him [200 CP] all consuming cyclone by highly enhancing the draw of the chi regeneration technique as well as the aura control technique, fine control, the three dantians and the power of the dao of spacetime the user can suck massive amounts of chi into one almost permanently empty dantian, as soon as another being, cultivator or other source of chi comes into contact with the users aura. Can not only help absorb chi attacks, but also rob another of their power. >Martial skills: Weapon heart (body- unarmed combat) (400) weapon sense (sword or knife or fan) (200) Wu Wei (200) Flow state of instinctive action — perfect for Madara’s near-predictive combat style >Perks: occupation Martial Specialist Martial Prodigy (200) Enlightenment: 400 - soul of Dao of Spacetime) Strength of Soul -300 genius cultivator -300 >Companions: pet spirit beast: fox -free

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I know i have to take basically all the drawbaks there are to cover for that and i'm still just a body cleansing stage cultivator, but it was fun making that build as close as possible imo

Jump #1: Generic 80s Cartoon Build: Chara: Age: 12 Sex: Male Alignment: Good Background: The Mysterious Foreigner (Drop In) Perks: Fair’s Fair: Chara won’t be targeted by others unless he proves himself a threat to their machinations. Others will ignore his associations as long as he avoids personally involving himself in disputes between factions. Genre Savvy: Chara is immune to following the script of any narrative. He has a unique quirk in this and many other childish worlds, the ability to see through the cliches and tropes that bind the rest of the cast that some may call ‘common sense’. He can see through simplistic schemes, call out parlor tricks for what they are, and will never arrive too ill equipped for a dangerous situation. Looking Within: Often, the greatest thing Chara can offer an ally is another pair of eyes and ears. His unique foreign perspective can be quite helpful, enabling him to pass on important skills and lessons through subtle means and creative applications. Teaching swordmanship through a yoga session? Child’s play. Be it helping someone get over themselves or realize an important truth, Chara can do it in ways so roundabout and obtuse that the most stubborn do-gooder won’t see what’s coming until it smacks them in the face. How did he know?: Thanks to his mysterious aura, Chara fittingly mysteriously knows whenever someone he cherishes is harmed or in imminent peril. It’s a faint intangible feeling that will drive him to seek out his loved one(s) and investigate anything suspicious. The vast majority of the time, this gut feeling will lead Chara right to the source of the trouble. The Professional: Knight. Chara has a decade’s worth of experiences with swordsmanship and isn’t shy to show it off. He can easily train others the way of the sword and it’d take longer to state what he does know about it than what he doesn’t. Power: Bodily Transformation. A pale imitation of a Boss Monster, forged from the hopes and dreams that survive within Chara’s patched together tattered memories. Bound to the limitations of this world. This transformation is sudden and seamless, their body is engulfed in white light before morphing to fit the respective desired figure. This form comes with extendable sharp claws, what it lacks in magical might, it more than makes up for in slashing strength and excavating utility. Items: Bachelor Pad. A cozy home that adapts to whatever setting Chara currently resides at. It’ll repair itself the next day if it ever gets destroyed, cleans iƒtself as if tended to by an invisible butler, and Chara will never find himself lacking when it comes to essential groceries or toiletries. Non-lethal lethal weapon. Chara possesses a sharp sword bearing the Delta Rune crest at the cross. This sword will merely lull anyone hit by its flat side unconscious for a fair amount of time unless Chara does something that would definitely kill or is trying to harm them regardless. Non-CP backed items, courtesy of the generous patron: A green sweater with a singular wide yellow stripe that runs across the middle of the shirt and its sleeves. A pair of brown shorts. Grey leggings. As well as black boots. Reminiscent of his original attire. Worldbuilding: The Empire of Roses is the Imperial Superpower of Westin (the largest continent on Illyria), or at least it was before the bumbling house of Bluerose were wiped out in a revolutionary coup d'état after a series of famine following short-sighted policies and unapologetic plunder. Now, the Yellowrose line claim the defunct neighboring kingdom as rightfully theirs per a treaty signed with the prior ruling house that if one of their lines were to become defunct, the other would inherit the spoils. With the Kingdom of Yellowrose and the Aquiline Republic locked in a low-intensity conflict, the Aquiline Republic acting as a de-facto independent state, and bordering kingdoms outside the empire’s hold eying the weakened empire as a prize to plunder, the Empire of Roses has firmly entered its Little Dark Age. Cemented by the fact that their frail Emperor Maximillian is near death’s door, too weak to enforce his rule throughout the realm’s vast expanse, and the fact that the empire is lacking a legitimate representative of house Bluerose, the inevitable and traditional elective process of crowning an emperor could easily find itself interrupted by a hung vote or technicalities and particulars over the lacking circumstances to crown a legitimate emperor of their lands. Cartoon Premise: The Knight Markus, an anthropomorphic grey-furred fox, and his squire Aldrin, an anthropomorphic white wolf, must defend the Yellowrose line (a family of anthropomorphic rabbits, notably consisting of the heir-apparent princess Elizabeth and her father king George) from plots by the dastardly Kingslayers’ Grandee Battalion, terrorist cell armed and backed by the dictator of the Aquiline Republic, Ivan Eagleclaw, to bring about an end to Yellowrose line and expand their jurisdiction over the Empire of Roses in a bid to bring about its demise and trample their freedoms and ancient rights.

>>53305 >An all-encompassing dread was your only friend. >The dark void ahead, the only sight you found familiar. >Darker, yet darker. >Your SOUL shattered, your body succumbed, yet your hopes and dreams shine on despite it all here in eternity. >”How pathetic. Yet inspiring nonetheless.” >The first foreign intrusion in what felt like forever. >A cruel laugh echoed through the roaring wind. >You felt your palm spring to life, glancing down as a form of shadows took hold. >Wait a minute. Felt. >You had a body once more. Birthed from shadows, given life by the roaring ambient light of the geyser that soared from the ground. >Without much else in the way of direction, you approached the way you thought the voice came from. >To your surprise, when you arrived at the geyser’s footsteps you were greeted with none other than the most pretty sight. >A tall, blonde, humanoid teen girl. Dotted with dimples on her cute cheeks. Her silhouette illuminated by the geyser’s light. Her stature towered over you. >”A pleasure to meet you, Chara Dreemurr.”

>>53562 >(cont) >How did she know that name? You freeze, muscles tensed. >Considering the nature of this strange realm, however… >That was certainly the least of your worries. >Recalling your mother’s manners, you politely get to the point. >”Greetings, I presume I need no introduction.” Clearing your throat, you ask. “What is your name?” >”Not important.” >”What is, then?” You raise an eyebrow, guided by your twisted curiosity. >”The deal I’m proposing.” >Hilarious. >You laugh, wiping your lips with your arm. >”If it’s a SOUL you want, I’m afraid I can’t help you there, pretty devil. I already gave mine away. Cross my heart, hope to die.” >Rich. >”Oh, you silly undead human.” She laughed and it sent shivers down your spine. “I couldn’t careless for your soul.” >Oh? Then what was her angle? Not like you had much else to part ways with. >”Entertainment!” She spreads her arms wide, a twisted smile dawning across her lips. >The audacity. What a jaw-dropping reveal. >”Oh, don’t worry. I’m not here to torture you.” >She floated through the air, caressing your cheek playfully. >”You’ve subjected yourself to enough of that to last a life time, Dreemurr.” >Cold, like her otherworldly ethereal touch. >”My idea of fun is bringing you to life as my champion, allowing to tour the endless abyss of the multiverse, for my mere amusement, of course.” >She batted her palm, proving just how rhetorical her question was. “Of course, you could decline. But you’d just go back to being a ghost.” >She flashed a snarky smirk, “And just where is the fun in that?” >Nothing. None. She had a point. Even if she was a psychopath. >It was a tempting offer. >Almost as tempting as the implied opportunity to return to your homely void, the sweet solace of death. >It’s what a failure like yourself deserves anyways. >Hero of legend, my ass.

>>53568 >(cont) >”Hello? Earth to Chara?” She fruitlessly waved her hand through my eyes. “Alright then! If that doesn’t sell it for you, how would you feel about a chance to see them once again? To bring back the dead?” >Your heart jumped, the percussion reverberated through my head. >”Really? Please, I’d love to see them again!” >A hearty mocking chuckle left her lips. >”You think I’d just give that away? Foolish brat.” >Your heart dropped to the wind, the soulless pit inside felt deeper. >Gritting your teeth, you roll your eyes. Hands curled into fists. >”The offer still stands, y’know? Just a quick existential journey across the multiverse and you can see all your precious friends again!” She walked around you with such nonchalance, she might as well be walking all over you. >But as long as you lived, you’d have a chance to see them once again. >The chance to see your brother again fills you with determination. >”Yes, I would like to be sponsored by you.” You grit through the shadowy bile piling up past your lips. >”Wonderful, wonderful, and such a performance of false defiance.” She leaned downed to meet your height, pinching your cheek. “What a little diva we have here!” >Oh, brother. Life better give you a break. >She released her hold over your cheek, causing you to scoff and turn away. >”With a sour face like that and your absolutely diva attitude, you’ll have no trouble keeping me entertained.” >”Keeping you entertained?” >”Of course! After all…” Her lids covered her eyes as she glanced down, a shadowy depth hiding them, “If you fail to entertain me, you lose. Which means back to the graveyard with you.” >A chill ran down your spine but she was already moving on, acting like that wasn’t the second most dread-inspiring moment you’ve ever experienced. >”Time for the paperwork!” She spun with such a joyous twirl, before suddenly having a materialized stack of paperwork and a pen for you to sign with. >”Let’s get started, shall we?”

>>53575 And with the prologue out of the way. Episode 1 begins. Part 1 of 'Generic 80s Cartoon'. Build here: >>53305 >Seven feet in the air, you fall through the sky, and land down on the dirty ground. >Colliding with the soil, a shrill shriek leaves your lips following the gut-punch of pain. >Pounding your palms with the grass, you push yourself up and spot a wooden cabin ahead. Just as the document said. >At least she kept her word. >A tear threatens to escape your eyes, but you put them at bay. >After all, what was it your told Azzy? >”Big boys don’t cry.” >Rising to a run, you race through the house and find the Master Bedroom’s shower. >The water’s warm, comforting as you bask in it to try and wash away your sins. >Once finished, you check your room for fresh garments. >Drats. >Nothing. >You suppose that item didn’t mention a thing about attire. Should’ve read the fine print. >Resigning yourself to your dirtied garments, you say aloud to yourself with a bratty tone, >”I’m a prince damn it! I deserve better than this filth!” >All in a bid to entertain her. Put on a great performance, Chara. Remember it. Your life depends on it. >If you can call this living. >Setting out from this house on a quest to get fresh clothes and some spare garments, you leave your house and follow the dirt road. The shining sun illuminating your silhouette as you reach the hill’s highest point. >A fork in the road, a three-way split with no signs in sight. No doubt a product of how remote and rural your humble house is. >Such a downgrade from living it up at the capitol’s royal palace. >You sigh, such is life. >Especially when you shouldn’t even be alive. You worthless freak. >Taking the (eastern) path to your left, you come into a forest clearing. >You spot her. She’s beautiful, her body blessed with lush white fur. Her stubby tail wags behind her, an acoustic guitar strapped across her arm as she strung together a harmonious melody. >Suddenly, she notices your footsteps, and turns around to face you. Screeching in fright. >Poor bunny.

>>53969 >The relief from seeing her inhuman beauty was washed away by the fear on her face. >You hold your pal to your chest, drawing deep breaths. Awkwardly, you slur your words, >”I– uh–” >Interrupting your failed explanations, the bunny girl grasps her cheeks and shouts,* “I-It’s a hairless ape man!” >Oh. Humans must not be common here. >Ideal. Even if it’s to your shame. >She crosses her arms together, backing away slowly, “P-please don’t hurt me, ape man! I-I–” >Luckily, you’ve got a trick up your sleeve.

>>54303 >Pic Cute bun

[Death Stranding redux] Several months earlier: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/76730010/#76731136 It was another beautiful day with all populated zones on Earth connected, and chiral phenomena such as this one girl whose womb has a connection to a Beach for some reason having a timeloop in her belly preventing her baby from being born, incidentally also granting her vague anti-rainfall powers that exist only to save Sam from a chiral fire finally being able to give birth. Sam and Lou were NOT suffering any home invasions, Fragile's attempts to breach the sacred redoubt of a habitual introvert were going slower but also steadier than in canon, and as one loner to another I'd decided to make a habitual wellness check. For a working class single father, Sam was doing as well as could be expected, and I decided to congratulate him with a great value pack of MoonCorp brand baby food. "Aw, thanks! Gonna save a fortune on maintenance now I don't have to do as many supply runs for...whatever babies eat" said Sam as Lou tucked into her third tub of delicious truculae secretions. "Don't mention it. Competent childcare and education is but another aspect of order, without it society will inevitably devolve into aura farming and crashouts" I assured him. "I'll have a drone drop off another pack every Sunday, give you plenty of time to plan the entity's education and career priorities for your entity" "You're a real lifesaver" Sam blinked. "Wait, entity? That's not very nice, is it Lou?" I sighed. "No, it's not, but facts often aren't. I stopped here for two reasons. You should know your kid's the next Extinction Entity" ... . . . "Bullshit" said Sam. "Let's go ask Amelie right now" I offered, parting the veil between life and death. We went. We came back. Sam stared at Lou vaguely. "I'm gonna fight the whole world if they try to take her from me" he said finally. 1/4 "Fortunately you won't have to" I assured him, "because believe you me it's actually more convenient for ALL of us if nobody ever finds out." "How does that even work? TWO Extinction Entities, that's gotta be a very good thing since they can both hold back the end of the world right...or a very bad thing...damn, this is way above my paygrade" "Feel free to theorycraft with your fellow mortals. I hear Deadman's not got much longer to live, not that he's letting death stop him. But suffice to say that if you want your kid to grow up quicker, you can take her into a voidout where the spirits of the damned can build her a golden chrysalis that will instantly age her up into the spitting image of Elle Fanning, giving her powerful chiral magic abilities. Which are, technically, but a fraction of her TRUE potential as an Extinction Entity. She has to turn into a giant baby to do that. Don't ask me why, I don't make THOSE rule" I said. Sam opened another bottle of soft liquor as he digested that, drinking thoroughly but responsibly. "I uh. I'll think about it" he said finally. "What was the other reason?" "Oh, don't worry about it. I said I just stopped HERE. I'm expecting some co-workers of yours. Look it's just internal UAC business, you've got enough to worry about without bureaucracy. That's more my ballpark" "Huh. Alright, best of luck with that...Numberman" I tilted my hand. "Numberman, you say..." "Uh. It's our unspoken team naming convention, remember? Men get X-man, women get a vaguely related adjective or noun" "Oh no it's just, I've known another Numberman. Quite fitting, actually. Yeah. I like that. Numberman, Numberman..." I muttered. As I headed off to the DHV Magellan to deal with the other issue, I reflected on how killing Higgs off ages ago had been a really convenient move. 2/4 The DHV Magellan was a state of the art Chiral submarine funded and manned by a nominally-civilian organisation named Drawbridge that was effectively populated by numerous UAC oldheads, not all of whom were immediately apparent. Without Higgs to serve as a convenient recurring enemy, the next existential crisis had it's work cut out for itself. "Alright, we're far away enough" I announced. "Why don't you come on out and stop doing a Patriots?"

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"...Patriots?" asked Fragile. "Yeah, this entire mission is being strung along by the unseen machinations of a theoretically benevolent conspiracy that in practice wants to enact inhumane and brutal measures to accomplish it's goals" I rambled. "In other words, it wants to do a Patriots. With a side order of Evangelion. Seriously come out, we've got you surrounded" "How did you know?" said the nominal president of the UAC, coming out of a hidden compartment. "This isn't my first rodeo as a psychopomp" I told them, "and you're not even human by conventional understanding. 'APAS' is the designation of an amalgamation of human souls caught in a voidout but rendered neither living nor dead, who calculated through the Chiralverse that humanity using the Death Stranding as an opportunity to build connections will lead to an evolutionary dead end, and is using the president as their avatar. Their response is to render all of humanity into disembodied souls, to lord over what's left of the Earth. It's pretty much a combination of End of Evangelion and the Musubi Reason from SMT Nocturne conducted by an organisation that's pretty much the Patriots if they were restless souls instead of AIs" "What a shockingly verbose and lengthy explanation" said the unveiled inhuman entity. I narrowed my eyes. "Better one of those than like 6 people talking around the same thing for like, 7 hours" 3/4 "No matter, it's too late. DHV Magellan is designed as some sort of transmitter for our consciousness and state of being. We're going to use this vehicle as-" "End of Evangelion, we know" I said wearily. "Why are you even opposing us?! The awful sidecut girl said you LIKED this sort of thing!" exclaimed the seething amalgamation of data analytics autists. "Honestly? Normally I'd be TOTALLY for humanity being reformatted into Ideal Masters as an adaptation to ongoing apocalypses, and ideologically opposed to the value of continued existence in a flawed meat vessel" I admitted. "But. One, I just put a shitload of work into setting up this global train network, and every human survivor voicing their appreciation for it, sharing my love of trains however much lesser by comparison is...putting me in a good mood. Two. There's a name for your particular of humanity fuck yeah conceit. MOON CANCER. After dealing with THAT, I've decided that right here and right now isn't a healthy opportunity for humanity to form a hivemind. I'll let you people come to accept hivemind superiority in another few centuries of chiral networking, and literal symbiosis with the afterlife. And three. Your afterlife metaverse is missing some crucial information" "...which is?" "NEITHER Extinction Entity wants the world to end" The hivemind of damned souls paused at that. It started spouting traditional japanese villain-isms like "that's not possible!" and "this is beyond my calculations!". And while all this was going on Die-Hardman burst out of the ship, busted out a dance number, and revealed that he'd outskilled APAS by having a friend redesigned the Magellan to also DISconnect chiral transmissions effectively locking the amalgamation out of it's intended tools. The UAC proceded to take the now-impotent APAS to court for Grand Theft Physicality. 4/4

H.P. Lovecraft Jump Drawbacks: Brain Eater (100, Curiosity), Helpless (200, Nodens), Crying Wolf (200), Outsider (200), The Statement of Jumper (200), Marked (400 ver), Servitor (0, due to One Who is Sought) [Total Drawback pts: 1300/Total pts amount: 2300] Location: Earth (1950s) Origin: One Who Is Sought >Perks/Mysteries Of Nature (Discounts marked with *) Dreamer - Free (100 ver, Free due to Arch Dreamers) Arch Dreamer - 600 Paranormal - Free/Mandatory for One Who Is Sought [The Walker Beyond the Mist] Awareness - Free ver (Swap normal human sight for “seeing” the life force of others) Dream-Walking - 100* (Detect points of overlap between Dreamlands/Waking World) Immense - 100* (200 ver) Influence - 100 ver Atmokinesis - 200 (Fog) Immortal - 200 (Mindless ver) Projection - 200* (400 ver) Reproduction - 200* Impossible - 400* >Items/Grimoires (Discounts marked with */Grimore Purchases marked with */*) Discount Stipend Transfer for Grimoire - 800 total (Stipend is equal to how many pts the discount would save you if used. Ex: 2x 200 + 1x 400 + x1 800 discounts = 200 + 200 + 400 pts) Final Words - Free Library - 400 ver*/* The Pnakotic Manuscripts - 200*/* Das Buch Von Den Unaussprechlichen Kulten - 200*/* Cursed Nectar - Free* The Hound - Free* The Mound - 200* >Companions N/A >Peruvian & American soldiers joint operation botching what was supposedly a scouting mission into a criminal ring near the Nazca Lines ends up escalating into them unknowingly finding an underground city with a secret society & their collection of dark knowledge >It’s not long before their unwanted intrusion leads to violence & fighting as the inhabitants of the dead city try to preserve their hidden existence. As a last resort, one of them uses a ritual on a recreation of one of the “odd” geoglyphs & ends up awakening the entity that is Jumper >Immediately things take a turn for the worst in the eyes of the soldiers as the already eerie underground city becomes foggy & hard to navigate. Some report voices in their head & start panicking. Others when hearing the voices become focused as they manage to lead a few of their allies to safety…but then there’s the ones that simply…collapse. >One man runs over to his fallen comrade as they try to bring him back to consciousness, only to step back & panic as the fallen man’s body begins to shudder as his existence starts flickering in & out of reality as he transforms into what would be known long afterwards as a “White Walker”, an offspring of the entity he would never meet in his current state, for his “ally” has already grabbed him by the neck to sap him of his life force & add to its own… <The fog is growing <The growing fog is stifling <The stifling, growing fog whispers louder >A captain takes a gambit to listen to the voices in his head, the “proclamation” of past victims that died here & seek to save others from their fate, completely unaware that the entity is luring him into an unwinnable situation like many other “brave men” that made the same choice… >Eventually the screams of soldiers stop & the city can finally take a breather >The fog has calmed down, although its curiosity costs the society a few of their own members to be…converted into “White Walkers” in the process… >before the survivors could get their bearings, the entity & the fog that announces its presence slips into another reality, followed by some of its offspring to who knows where for now… <Far away, an alliance of occult societies grows frustrated with their failed attempt to reclaim the grimoire that gives proof to their existence…

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<Various weather phenomena in regards to “destructive fog” natural disasters begin to increase all over the world… <Within the Dreamlands, the Lord of the Great Abyss finds himself enraged by the recent epidemic of life force stealing incidents spreading through the Dreamlands & sets out to find the source of it all… [If there’s fog in the area STAY AWAY. DO NOT APPROACH THE AREA AT ALL COSTS. It’s a trapping maneuver “they” use to expand their numbers. The thicker the fog, the greater number of those…”Walkers” are lingering in there…they don’t even need the eye sight to pick us off if one of us gets stuck there from what I heard…And…and if you hear a voice, DO NOT LISTEN…It’s all lies..we’re not built for this… - last recordings of Private Percy, current status: MIA]

>>54303 >”Oh, you’re mistaken. I’m not a hairless ape..” >You said with a poker face. >”You’re not?” >”Not at all, or at least, not usually.” >You sighed, “I was cursed! Cursed, I say!” raising your hands into the air. Exasperated. >Cursed was an understatement. >”And I mean no harm, promise.” >You held out an open palm. >That earned a curious gaze from the bunny standing across from you, “What would be your true appearance then?” >”I’m a capper tine!” You stumbled your words, the correct pronunciation lost on your lips. >It’s caprine, idiot. >You were none the wiser and seemed like quite the fool. >She looks completely bewildered at your screw up, never having heard such a term before. Her head leaned to her left as she asked you, "What's that? I'm afraid I haven't heard of that one before." >She placed her paw ahead of her mouth as she giggled to herself, probably imagining a 'capper time" as a type of sardine. >You opt to take advantage of her curiosity to segway into your cliched plot, >"W-well, you know how cursed princes take d-disgusting forms until kissed...' >Your composure collapses, stuttering your words and twitching as you speak. >A bottomless pit is where you SOUL should be.You don't deserve this, not one bit. To be kissed by an elegant & playful bunny girl is a privilege. One you lost the rights to for your stupidity. You should be six feet under. The whole world would have been better if you died in that labyrinth's halls years ago. >Witnessing your suffering, she mistakenly assigns it to the "cursed" form that you're under and takes upon her responsibility to help the innocent. >She hops off the ground from the tips of her toes, her arms spread wide as she embraces you. Her lips meet yours.

>>54928 lmao, get kissed loser.

>>50161 [Kengan Ashura redux] Well, here we were, I thought. At the final clash with the ultimate mastermind of the Worm, the root of all malice stemming from it, and the would-be usurper as Shen's (godlike for this world's standards, time travelling professional and hobbyist bodybuilders aside) knowledge of martial arts. Inside a crummy apartment. Shen looking about as annoyed as someone seeing a small dog shit on his porch. Tiger Niko prostrating on the ground like a hooker getting ready for her second beating. And the Satanic evil himself, Luohan, bursting at the seams with killing intent- "I say, why don't we take this outside?" said Luohan abruptly. "Wouldn't want to get any innocent bystanders caught up in MY GLORIOUS ASCENSION, would we?" "Hey, that's a great idea" said Shen. "you scumbag. Seriously, property's at a premium in this economy" "I know a pretty arena out back" I offered, "right by the Skid Row fire" -abruptly put everything on pause as we all relocated to a more traditional arena, a nonplussed Tiger Niko following along. I could see the man's brain seriously consider booking it, then calculating the odds of Metsudo's cronies tracking them down with the same efficiency they tracked down Xia Ji, and ultimately deciding that he was in too deep not to see this through. Alas, it had not occurred to him that most of his problems would have been solved by choosing to stab Luohan in the back and then rely on Wulong and I's complete lack of fucks given. "Nyohoho, now that it's REAL bloodlust hours, let's start off with a little trickery!" said Luohan "THEY'RE going to stab you in the back!" "Who?" asked Shen. "I assume Luohan is revealing to anonymous associates of his, possibly members of the Death Dealers who we could reasonably assume have something to gain from his effective takeover of the Worm by killing you" I pointed out. "Huh? But I don't even control the Worm, they're just helpful guys I know" said Shen, confused. "He'd twist Yan's arm after replacing you" I pointed out. "Maybe literally. Anyway the point I'm trying to make is unless your Principles include precognition, I think we would've noticed Death Dealers tracking us to this random arena I picked for no reason. That is assuming Luohan would break his consistent pattern of not using any of his multinational corporation's resources for dealing you, despite otherwise being ambitious and conniving" "Damn, you're right. Well you're rumbled Luohan, I'm not falling for such petty tricks" said Shen confidently. Luohan mentally recalculated. "Hey Shen, there's a butterfly behind your head!" he blurted out. "Huh, but there's no-" began Shen, turning around as Luohan lunged at him, knife in hand, gleefully anticipating an arterial spray straight out of Sweeney Todd's wet dreams-only to get comically bitchslapped across the hard ground. Luohan got hit itself, the knife went flying away like it was abandoning him to save it's life. "Didn't hurt" he announced. "Now that I've mastered Hua Jin, developed by the 50th Shen Wulong-" "Shaori. That's. That's shaori" I pointed out. "That's straight up shaori, the ancient chinese technique of getting so loose and jiggy with it that you just don't get hurt by kinetic impacts" "Oh yeah, it is!" said Shen brightly. "It's just like that one guy, Kaku, I used to know back in the day was practicing after I completely embarrassed his bodybuilding journey. Still feel kinda bad about that. I wonder what happened to him-" With the unspoken instincts of pack hunters surrounding an auroughs, Luohan and Tiger Niko started to surround Shen. Without even breaking stride, Shen proceeded to beat the living shit out of Luohan in such a comically onesided way that it was like watching Spike pulverise Tom into a living cat-shaped accordion. It was like watching Popeye go ham on Bluto after his dose of spinach. It was like John Wick staring at a confirmed dog-kicker. It was like Jackie Chan encountering trouble while on a ladder, carrying a steering wheel in one hand and a baby in another. It was like Bruce Lee fighting his own inner demons. "L-look, please don't do the patented Batman backhand to me" begged Tiger Niko as he inched forwards in the most reluctant backstab attempt in human history as Shen continued to use Luohan like a human punching bag "because we both know that isn't going to help me, s-so I'm just going to tell you I'm coming in clutch just s-so you know that t-there's no hard feelings here-" "Hey Niko, why don't you just take a break?" interrupted Shen as the battered remains of Luohan wheezed for air (still muttering that this was all just as planned). "Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little?" Tiger Niko froze. "W-what?" "Listen, I've met some great people recently. And they're my friends" said Shen loftily. "Ohma, Ryuki, even that Koga guy. And like, you've clearly never been my friend so I've been ambivalent to you but also you know what, Tiger? You're NOT the despicable friend-bad-vibes-harbouring fiend known as Luohan. So. To support my friends. I'm going to ask you to fight them before fighting me, since-and I have to be honest here" And at this moment, the light seemed to drain from Shen Wulong's face yet also crown him like a halo as he treated Tiger Niko to his undivided attention. "Fighting you would mean the world to them. Whereas from my point of view, it would be like getting tickled by a kitten" Tiger Niko immediately stopped his sneak attack. "Yessir thank you Mr. Shen sir I'm going to be withdrawing from this tag team now appreciate your feedback" he babbled.

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"Alright! Good talk, my man. As for you" said Shen, turning to Luohan's bloodied pulp, "I've clearly been far too lenient on you. All I asked was that you humbly accept your me-given role to be my personal entertainment, and instead you did a worse job of threatening my friends than I heard Hayami did. That's just downright rude, Luohan. And that's why I'm gonna throw a serious punch at you" said Shen, drawing back a fist. And then, Luohan pulled out a move nobody had ever seen before to somehow deflect death itself. "Hey, cool trick! Where'd that come from, Luohan?" asked Shen. "See maybe if you just put more effort into training and less effort into blackmailing people over a PDF of my memoirs, you'd be less of a failure in life" "WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS" declared Luohan, brimming with the unearned confidence of a man about to be smote by God himself for hubris, "IS THE LAST MINUTE AWAKENING STRAIGHT OUT OF A SHOUNEN MANGA! You fool Shen, don't you get it! I'm the main character! I'm! HIM!" ... Nobody really knew how to espond to that for a while. Shen, being an ultra boomer, slowly turned towards me and asked what a shounen manga was. Ignoring him I just silently held up a copy of JJK I had purchased for this moment and opened it to the part where Kashimo was challenging Sukuna. Pointed at Luohan. Pointed at the manga. And then pointed back at Luohan, since clearly verbal communication wasn't articulating the difference in power here. As for Tiger Niko, he let out a mighty cry of "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WE'RE NOT MANGA CHARACTERS! THIS IS REAL LIFE! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TELLING ME YOUR PLAN TO KILL SHEN WULONG WAS...BY RELYING ON PLOT ARMOUR AND METANARRATIVE WEIGHT?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST USE YOUR MASSIVE WEALTH AND CONNECTIONS TO SNIPE HIM?? WHY?!?" before collapsing to the ground. Weeping the tears of a man who had wagered his life savings on a single hand in Vegas, only to slowly realise he'd been playing with Yugioh cards all along.

>>54928 >You feel something strange wash over you. >Relief. >A luxury not afforded by the void and the regrets of a broken SOUL >It feels familiar. Like the embrace of another, a family you once knew. But it’s different. >Your heart flutters, light and soft. >What is only mere seconds is perceived as a whole minute by your love-stricken heart. >You snap out of the haze, realizing you must follow through on the cover up. >Clasping your hands together behind her back, your palms are imbued with flares of magical aura. >Two beams of light shoot from your palms, dancing to light a spark that spews out the Delta Rune as a magical fire work. >The light comes surging through you, brisking through her figure and engulfing yours entirely. A surge of might flows through you. >You’re now a goat, just as you wrote in ink. A cute anthropomorphic one, but a goat nonetheless. >You instinctively close your palms into fists, feeling out your new form first hand. >The process of your transformation isn't exactly painful, though it is strange. Nothing feels like it had before. Fur sprouted all over, your legs gained considerable height, and your appendages' ends have transformed into paw-padded counterparts. >You sigh from the emotional & mental exhaustion over the ordeal. >The youthful rabbit-girl gasps at your transformed form in awe, breaking the kiss. >With her palms pressed together, she asks you a seemingly simple question, >"So, 'prince'. From which realm do you hail?"

>>55624 >>55624 >You hadn’t thought that you would have to answer the tale that your words begged to be told. >This natural consequence was never explored in any childhood fairy tale you knew. >Most of the time, it was presumed the prince was someone of importance or established as such many pages prior. >You’re, as you specified in the document, a “drop in”. >You’re practically an orphan all over again in this world, something which just now dawns on you as your snout lowers with shame for the first time. >You feel so terrible for leading her on. A lie doesn’t dare leave your lips. >You just stare. Blank. Caught off guard by her piercing gaze for a solid two seconds. >Luckily for you, just as she began to open her mouth, a figure rose from the bushes behind her. >It’s a large grizzly bear. He towers two feet over your figure. He reaches to grasp her in her claws, his eyes filled with an insatiable hunger. >Your heart shakes. It’s only been a day since you were last hopeless to save someone you cared for, and you aren’t gonna let yourself be paralyzed again. >Especially without him holding you back. >You furrow your eyebrows. You're overcome with rage as you confront the vision that's taking over your mind. >You can't stand to watch her torn in two by that towering behemoth, you scream, "Watch out!" as you slap the bunny aside, taking the grizzly beast head-on. >He unleashes his claws, posed to strike. A ferocious roar reverberates throughout the forest clearing, >She watches in horror as you confront the large beast from a few feet away, frozen at the sight of the spectacle. >The bear pounces towards you, tearing through your shirt with his claws. >The pain, dear god, the horrifying pain, your skin feels like it is on fire, and you're lucky the savage hadn't cut through your organs. >Feeling the adrenaline rush through your veins, you plunge your claws ahead and up, slicing through the bear's torso. Your claws tear through his flesh, digging deep into his guts.

>>55672 >The beastly bear lets out a dreadful growl as it recoiled in shock from the unexpected blow to its hide. >You heavily pant in pain and with shock at the sudden pace during this lightning-speed day. >You gaze upon the beast with a wicked smile, delirious given the constant change of pace and injuries sustained. >You charge at it while you maintain the initiative. >The beast's eyes widen in terror as it sees you charge towards it, spreading its arms in a bid to wrestle you down once you engage. >You pay no-mind to the beast's threat, pouring everything you have into this fight as you let your blood-thirsty nature overcome your better nurture. >You aim your fangs at the bear's jugular vein, slicing through his neck with a crunchy chomp. >Your claws slice through the beast's organs, rupturing its heart. >The defeated bear in its last moments of life slams his arms against your body, attempting to crush you under his weight. >You feel your energy fastly fading. >You openly cry, letting out your emotional and physical torment over this ordeal. >The bear's body collapses back onto the ground, dead. >You fall forward with it, collapsing on the bear's desecrated carcass. >You struggle against the bear's dead arms holding you against its torso. >Pondering it for a mere moment, the scene reminds you of watching action-adventure movies on a warm Saturday night, cuddled up under a blanket with your younger brother. >A half-hearted chuckle escapes your throat, soon morphing into a fit of unhinged laughter in the face of the absurd sight. >Your head rocks back and forth during your fit as the beast's arms prevent you from moving its corpse's grasp. >The woman, the bunny-girl who foolishly hadn't left when she should've, watches your struggle. >She bites her lips, her nerves and fur on edge from the gruesome sight. She rushes towards you, using her well-rested strength to push the dead bear's arms off your body.

>>55677 >You roll over, collapsing onto the grass next to the bear's carcass. >You grasp your bloodied chest, moving your shirt down so that its fabric may cover your wounds. >Pressing against the shirt, you hope that the wound closes so that you can avoid a blackout from the blood loss. >You sigh in relief, the nightmare finally over for now. >The rabbit-girl exclaims in awe, >"Prince... You saved my life!" >She’s totally starstruck. >"I-If you weren't there, I would've been..." >She stops herself from saying the word. >The obvious implication hangs in the air. >Your heart feels a sting, similar to the one you feel over your entire torso's skin, as you hear her call you that silver-tongued word. It might as well be a lie on this world. >For a moment, you want to reveal the truth. To tell her that was a mere parlor trick, but you don't feel like you have the energy, emotional or physical, to bear that at the moment. >You briefly mutter to the girl, as she stares at you with her beautiful blue eyes, >"I-I know..." >She smiles at you, offering you her hand for support. >Her ears perk up and she reassures you, >"Let's get you patched up at the palace, prince." >Offering you a place at her side for now. >You take her hand, getting to your two feet. >You ask her questioningly, not expecting her to be affiliated with royalty, >"Palace?" >She's surprised by your lack of recognition. >Her face lights up, realizing that you aren’t familiar with her status. >"Oh, that's right. You don't know who I am, do you?" >You admit honestly through your hoarse words, >"No... no, I don't." >She playfully bats her free hand around in the air, proclaiming, >"I am Princess Elizabeth! The rightful ruler to be of all of the Kingdom of Yellowrose!" >You think aloud to yourself like a dork, a blush clear on your face. >"That sounds awfully... important." >She cutely tilts her head, her eyes down at yours as you walk together, each with an arm wrapped around the other, she asks, >"Well, oh-so mysterious savior prince! What is your name?" >You tell her, >"My name is..."

>>55684 >Your voice shakes as you answer her, >"Chara," >You pause, not sure of how to continue from here. >You could use any last name you wanted in this world. >You internally debate over coming up with something new like you're the city of Petersburg, using your family's name, and briefly humor that last name. >You consider if you're even worthy of using this name. If they would even accept you as one of their own, knowing the truth of what you did. >Reluctantly, you force these words out from your mouth, >"Chara Dreemurr." >She giggles, holding her free hand in front of her mouth, >"That's a peculiar name, prince Chara!" https://youtu.be/TKg7Zn65wl0?si=FMbwL5Oa4fLjjZNi >The two of you walk for a long while. She helps you keep your balance until you arrive at the capital of the Kingdom of Yellowrose's interior, the city of Lutetia. >The city has remarkable mixed development. A series of residential, housing, & industrial areas, with the main market street leading straight towards the city's castle. >You gasp in awe at the distant castle, towering over the rest of the industrializing city's buildings. >You haven't seen such a gorgeous city before in your life. >Sure, there was new home… but it was never blessed to bask in the light of the surface. >The city's sight outshines that of the slums you were born into, the golden sunset radiating throughout. >You can't hold yourself back from saying aloud, >"T-This... This place is beautiful, Liz." >She replies, "I know, right? The main street's gorgeous at this hour!" >The two of you traverse through the city, hand in hand as your strength returns to you. Replenished by the grace of this place. >Your walk has improved from the limping of the hill-side path. You're now walking with a proper posture. >A local shop owner, Remy, glances at the sight of you, an injured youth two years the Princess's younger, being accompanied by her, with disapproval. >The Princess ignores the rude gesture, and asks you with curious delight, >"What cuisine is common in your realm?" >You answer her with a smirk, >"Well, there's all kinds of food where I'm from, but I'm a bit of a sweet-tooth." >She giggles before responding joyously, "Oh, really? I am too!" Apparently humored by the similarity

>>55691 >Eventually after a short walk of small talk and hand holding, the two of you arrive at the bronze-forged gates of the castle. >Before your eyes lie the castle of Yellowrose, a sturdy stone fortress of the country's entrenched nobility, with six towers piercing for the heavens, blue tips contrasting the beige below. >The princess of the keep, Elizabeth, haughtily yells, "Guards, your princess has arrived! Let me pass!" >You hadn't expected that. Previously, she behaved quite timidly. >The gates to the castle are raised, letting the two of you pass. >As you walk past the canine guards of the castle, the iron cladded brown hard men have an expression of terror across their faces. >Your grip on the rabbit-girl's paw subtly shakes over your uneasiness in her sudden shift in behavior. >You turn to face Elizabeth, asking her in a state of disbelief, >"What was that?" >She lifts her free hand, shaking it nonchalantly and toying her paws inward, >"What was what? >You hastily respond, not one to drop issues easily, >"How you treated the guards! Their duty is to protect you! You should treat them with the respe-" >Your speech is interrupted by the bratty bunny, >"Why, Chara! I can tell the blood loss must be driving you mad if you’re thinking like that! Only nobles deserve the respect of a ruler!" >You feel the warm and fuzzy feeling that has burned hard in your chest since your first kiss burned to a crisp in light of this unforeseen brattiness. >Not wanting to press the matter further, you reluctantly agree with the princess, adjusting your torn shirt's collar you spit, >"You... You're right, princess. Let's just get to the bedroom..." >The princess smiles with a look of victory plastered over her pristine face, >"I'm glad I could help you to see the light, Chara!" >You bite your lips at the selfish princess, nervously laughing in false agreement with her.

>>55698 >It's been hours since you've gotten yourself settled in the bed. >The room is filled with wealthy decor and accommodations, the pattern of roses carefully carved into the wooden furniture and other floral-inspired decor adorned the palace. From stained glass to potted roses. >But, despite that, the only thing you feel is a giant hole where your heart should be, no, not the physical kind, though the pain is beginning to wear you down, it's the kind of pain that stings on a psychic level. >You ruffle the sheets off of your troubled torso, stumbling out of the royal guest bed. >You tiredly tumble to the wooden desk, situated in the leather desk-chair, you arc your bruised spine against its leather-clad back. >You let out a sigh of half-hearted relief, leaning your arms on the desk's wooden surface, your hand trembling as you reach for the quill under the moon's subtle grace. >You wrote to yourself, using a script only known to yourself in this lonely world, a year sheds down your cheek as you pen the address. >"Dear mother, I have embarked on a terrifying journey today. I found myself in a new world, a new house, with new creatures, not so dissimilar to you in nature. Though I learned that their nature was far more terrible than your kind could be after sustaining wounds while protecting the princess of this realm, she called herself Elizabeth, a name that seemed so distant yet familiar. She was ignoble & demanding, so far from a proper noble. Needless, I digress; I have been granted a terrific power from my magical tormentor, to cast aside the dreaded form that you had so readily accepted. I look more like you in this form, or rather my brother, my poor sweet gullible-" >Your hand twitches, tears fall down your face, wetting your sorrowful cheeks, in sync with the rattling rain outside. >"brother. But that's beside the point. The gift to live a life that I do not deserve has been gifted to me, once again, after I tossed my last into the gutter. I shouldn't be thinking- or doing- such things, should I?" >"Mother, I'm sorry. - Chara."

>>55703 And with that, the rewrite of the old content is officially finished. Alternative versions (with some improvements and spelling corrections). Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66930742/chapters/172762486 Pastebin Prologue: https://pastebin.com/zkCWS1KE Pastebin Chapter 1: https://pastebin.com/pJdkE3YR New content soon to follow.

I'm making a lot of this up as I go along, but I think this is what my character's setup looks like as of the end of Jump 3. >Class: Elder [NEW] (Skill List) >Skill (1): Sorcery - “An [anomalous] evolution of Witchcraft. Provides intuitive proficiency with powerful magic that delves into curses, sleep, and the soul itself. Details myriad spells within a tab in the status menu for study. Have you ever tried counting sheep?” >Skill (2): Obsessive Student - “An aspected evolution of Studious. Provides minor superhuman ability in regards to reading and comprehending written information. Acquire obsessive focus and intent with subjects of study. Absorption of knowledge greatly enhanced.” >Skill (3): Cauldron - “Creates a cauldron within the status menu. Breaks down magical materials into Aether Crystals after a duration. Aether Crystals inserted can be fused into higher quality Aether Crystals after a duration.” >Skill (4): Jumper - “Facilitates the acquisition of Classes and Skills.” >Skill (5): Yoga - “Provides intuitive proficiency with performing yoga. Details peculiar techniques within a new tab in the status menu for study.” >Skill (6): The Evil Eye - “Allows for Black Magic spells to be transmitted through sight. Provides the ability to perceive what normally cannot.” >Skill (7): Madness of Fear - “An aspected evolution to Aura of Fear. Host to the Madness of Fear, a form of Madness that nags at the mind and makes an enemy of the whole world.” >Skill (8): Familiar - “Provides a new tab within the status menu allowing for the construction and registration of a familiar.” >Skill (9): Transformation - “An Aspected Skill. Acquire qualities relating to an animal, and provides intuitive proficiency with taking its form with a whim.” >Skill (10): Magical Sense - “An Aspected Skill. Obtain highly acute sense of magic and those who possess it.” >Skill (11): Rest - “Grants greater significance to sleep, hastening recovery of the body and mind and ensuring thorough rest.” >Skill (12): Demon Tool Production - “Provides intuitive proficiency with the production of strange, magic infused tools that defy the conventions of the world. A new tab with texts and guidelines is provided within the status menu.” >Skill (13): Ancient - “An [anomalous] evolution of Voracity. The body has been reformatted with misplaced teeth and scale of stone. The Awakened obtains some relation to dragons, and great vitality.” [NEW] >Skill (14): Dragon Gem - “An Aspected Skill. Creates a focal point for the rejuvenation of bioenergy - an Aspected form of Aether - and accelerates its recovery tremendously. Grows with age.” [NEW] >Skill (15): Ancient Tree - “An Aspected Skill. Allows for the production of the seed of an Ancient Tree. The Ancient Tree will grow explosively over a matter of days when its basic needs are met, assimilating plants and injecting the environment with bioenergy as it does.” [NEW] >Skill (16): Homunculus - “Create artificial life through the ritual purification and cultivation of ‘seed.’” [NEW] >Skill (17): Phenomena - “An Aspected Skill. One's aether will flow into the environment and influence it with its color, influencing conditions such as the weather.” [NEW] >Skill (18): Growth - “Spontaneously influence growth of a given subject through the injection of Aether.” [NEW]

>>56157 (Spell List) [Basic Spells] >Spell (1): Curse of Enervation - “Temporarily reduces the amount of strength the target can exert and induces fatigue.” >Spell (2): Curse of Confusion - “Temporarily disorients the target making it difficult for them to focus or think clearly.” >Spell (3): Curse of Misfortune - “Temporarily inflicts the target with bad luck, causing improbably bad things to happen to them or it for the duration.” >Spell (4): Curse of Decay - “Causes mild deterioration of an inanimate object, making organic matter rot and inorganic matter crumble.” >Spell (5): Curse of Fear - “Temporarily causes spontaneous fear and anxiety to develop in the target, lowering their ability to focus and reason.” >Spell (6): Hypnosis - “Channeled spell increasing target's drowsiness and fatigue the longer it's maintained.” >Spell (7): Soul Arrow - “Projects a small arrow of soul magic from the Awakened towards the target.” >Spell (8): Resist Curse - “A spell that sloughs off the external layer of power around the soul to resist the application of mild curses.” >Spell (9): Seed of Doubt - “A curse that is implanted in a fragile, subtle, dormant form, which grows by feasting upon ambient Aether to form doubt.” [NEW] >Spell (10): Grain of Sand - “Symbolically form a grain of sand that multiplies in one's hand. Those touched by the sand will become tired, though it dissipates shortly after leaving the hand.” [NEW] >Spell (11): Rube's Curse - “Applies a curse of misfortune by designating two targets. Through chance and happenstance, failure of the first will eventually plague the second as if by grand design. Lasts for a single misfortune of scale matching Aether spent.” [NEW] >Spell (12): Pajamas - “Causes sleepwear to appear on those targeted by the spell, potentially multiple individuals at once.” [NEW] >Spell (13): Curse of Inversion - “A curse that inverts the biological sex one was born with.” [NEW] [Moderate Spells] >Spell (1): Curse of Galochio - “Curses the target, causing a hand of water to form when the victim approaches deep bodies, which then attempts to drag them under.” >Spell (2): Curse of Hibernation - “Induces a deep, heavy sleep and a form of stasis upon the target. Effect deteriorates over time.” >Spell (3): Curse of Night Terror - “Curses the target with terrible nightmares whenever they fall asleep.” >Spell (4): Curse of Sleep Demon - “Curses the target with sleep paralysis coinciding with the witching hour, with terrifying delusions playing out before their eyes.” >Spell (5): Bed Making - “Conjures a comfortable bed with wooden frame, and commands it to distort and move.” >Spell (6): Soul Spear - “Projects a large, strong projectile of soul magic from the Awakened towards the target. Has penetrative capabilities.” >Spell (7): Dark Fog - “Manifests volatile, black cloud at the target destination, poisoning those immersed within it.” >Spell (8): Addendum, Seed - “Acts as an adendum to existing spells, causing drastic reduction in potency in return for longevity and growth through the ability to feed upon Ambient Mana.” [NEW] >Spell (9): Crystal Seed - “Forms a crystal with the power of a soul, that continues to grow and spread, condensing ambient energy into its form.” [NEW] >Spell (10): Humanity - “Forms a mote of Humanity, which may grow and multiply if nurtured correctly.” [NEW] >Spell (11): Curse of Lycanthropy - “Inflict Lycanthropy upon the target, causing them to transform into part wolf monster under the full moon.” [NEW] [High Level Spells] >Spell (1): Starry Night - “Applies a curse over an area, creating the imagery of starry, night sky above. Those beneath it will be attacked by fatigue and drowsiness. A soul arrow will be fired at the head of whosoever falls asleep beneath it.” >Spell (2): Seed of Calamity - “Expend great amounts of energy to plant a terrible curse that will fester and set the stage for a great tragedy once it finally blooms. The longer it's allowed to fester, the greater the effect.” [NEW] >Spell (3): Dream Theater - “Use a dreaming entity as a catalyst to conjure forth entities and phenomena from their dreams into reality.” [NEW]

>>55741 Episode 2, start! >You lay in bed, across from the princess, as she complained about her simultaneously eventful and mundane life to you. >“So, I was like, at this cute little picnic spot just outside of town. It was absolutely superb, I gotta take you there one day!” >She laughed into her palm, throwing it to the wind before giving you that possessive look. >“Sounds good” You lied through your teeth. >“I know, right!” She butted her elbow against your arm. >It was a shame you were still dependent on her. Still weak after your fight with that bear. >“Anyways, there was all this rustling about! It was super scary, it was like the trees were alive, but then I looked over and it was just that idiot fox Aldrin making a scene for absolutely no reason.” She laughed. That same nauseating laugh that made whatever remained of your soul want to shirl up and perish. Make it end. >“And my knight Markus had to grab him out from there by the end of his tail, scolding him about it being ‘dangerous’? Whatever could be so dangerous about a bush! It’s so preposterous.” >“Indeed, preposterous, right…” You were socially tapped out, glancing at the wall as realization dawned on you after she told all these countless tales with connecting themes and narrative cohesion. Was she so ignorant to not realize the very real peril she was in? Some princess. She should be thankful, not bashing her sworn protectors. >“Are you alright, prince Chara?” She asked with something resembling genuine concern for your wellbeing. No, you weren’t alright. You had to deal with her whining complaints about perfectly reasonable knights for the past hour. You’d never disrespect your servants like this. Especially if they were protecting your life. What an ungrateful bitch. >“Oh, you know. Just the pain, tis all.” You spoke with a tone almost mocking her. Luckily, she’s too innocent and ignorant to realize it. >“Oh yeah, Chara! You got banged up defending me, hero boy!” >She lunged forth and pulled you into a hug. It stung. Not just because it was from her, but the wounds that remained. Affectionately nuzzling into your neck. You didn’t want this, but maybe you deserved it. Deserved to be disrespected and tormented by a whiny royal brat who didn’t appreciate what was right in front of her. After all, wasn’t she such a pretty mirror? >Shut up, shut up, shut up. >Your breathing hitched and she realized what she’d done. >“Oh, Chara. I’m so sorry.” She said as she retreated. >“I should’ve known my little hero would need some time to recover.” She pinched your cheek. You twitched. >“Yeah, could I have some lunch and alone time?” You requested. >“Of course, savior!” >You were so tired of hearing that word.

First Jump Build >Cosplay Fetish Academy Build >Drawbacks Supplement Mode – Attaching this to my Dead Like Me build. Shout It All Out (1100) – OH NO! HOLY SHIT! SON OF A BITCH! And other such Joseph Joestarisms What Proof Reading? (1200) – At least my own spelling will fit in. Prideful (1400) – I'm going to be noticing all that skimpy clothing for my whole time here. >Perks Cosplay Fetish World – It's what we're here for after all. Eroge Protag – An excellent start to my Hentai Jumper career. Born Athlete – Not quite the Shonen bullshit physical abilities I crave, but a good start. Practical Skills – I'll go with martial arts. Unaccustomed – It's no fun if they stop getting embarrassed. Ecchi Shenanigans (1300) – Got to have that lewd luck if you want to be a proper harem protagonist. Lovable Playboy (1200) – But the more important part is not getting stabbed for two timing. No Reason to Lie (1100) – This will come in very handy when explaining Jumpchain nonsense. Route Marcher (900) – Again, needed for that harem. Nice View (700) – I'd rather not see any landwhales dressed up in fetishwear, thank you very much. The Best Part (500) – I'm going to need this. It's not a good thing that I'll need it, but I will. Your Fetish World (300) – YES! While I can swap what this does from Jump to Jump, 99% of the time it's going to be used to make worlds of “precarious clothing” style ENF. What this means is that female fashion is now going to be styles VERY prone to wardrobe malfunctions; like extremely short skirts with no panties, also commando with way too loose pants, dresses mostly held up by the wearer's positive thinking, and so on, all made from super easy to tear material. With the girls still not wanting to be seen exposed despite the accepted fashion, and reacting just as badly as they should when the inevitable happens. >Items Cafe Foods – Not having to cook for myself as much is nice. Home (200) – Fuck property taxes! And bills in general. Hot Family (0) – I'm getting my MILFy mother who won't wear anything but small aprons, damn you! Although it's even better this way, as now I can have some hot sisters too, and enjoy even more sexy family members in future Jumps. >Dead Like Me Build

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>State of Being Mortal – Not really, but I'm not any of the other options either. >Drawbacks Moist (1100) – Guess I just don't like cursing now. Paperwork (1200) – Well... phooey. Pathological Fear (1300) – Globophobia does sound like it'd be funny, so let's go with that. Slurpee (1400) – Bring me my red shirt. Doer (1600) – Lots of paperwork to get done. Whisponaughts (1800) – This could be very funny, and very annoying. >Perks Boom Boom Ba – I do love a good soundtrack. Cat-Like Movement – I have the opposite of this, so I'd love to change that. Non-Threatening Good Looks – These looks go to eleven. Stop and Smell the Roses – Going to need something like this on a long Chain. Supernatural Sight (1700) – I don't want any supernatural nasties sneaking up on me. Deadman’s Bluff (1600) – Helps handle the other side of No Reason to Lie. Deadside Manner (1500) – Never underestimate a charisma build. Eye for Misfortune (1400) – Mostly just to let me know when I need to try extra hard to keep my loved ones safe. Graveling Traversal (1200) – This gives me some incredible mobility. Keep It Clean (1000) – Again, you need something like this on a long Chain. On the Periphery tier 2 (800) – Great for both lewd and practical uses. Goldberg Sense (600) – Now this is going to be fun. Popping Souls (400) – I mostly want this to be able to punch stuff like ghosts. Undead Constitution (0) – Dying is still gay. >Items Weapon – Give me a sword. Because why not? Once there was a young gaijin living in what he thought to be mundane Japan, until one day he was struck dead by a lightning bolt out of the blue. One would think that would be the end of it, but it turns out the afterlife is indeed a thing, and after dealing with some poor schlub who apparently was on reaper duty that day, our protagonist went into the light... Only to wake right back up still in Japan, except the girls sure were dressing weird, and he seemed to have picked up some fun new powers from his brush with death. And it was at that exact moment when I also realized that he was me, and I was he, and we had just gone through some kind of weird double isekai. My plans are simple enough, enjoy the beautiful scenery while seducing my new Hot Family, and get used to this whole isekai thing by interacting with the supernatural when I can. Maybe I can become something like a substitute reaper and help any lost souls I come across pass on, or try poking at a graveling to see what happens. While I couldn't cheese things by taking powerlock drawbacks, since I supplemented two Jumps together well except maybe the Companions one since I didn't really buy any, but I don't want to count on it working that way all in all I'd say this will make for a great new first Jump for me now that my old one needs to be swapped out. Lots of useful and sexy options to start me out on the right foot. And a somewhat familiar world that can help ease me into Jumping, but one with enough supernatural (via Dead Like Me) and lewd (via Cosplay Fetish Academy) elements to start acclimatizing me to living in strange new settings. Good stuff.

>>55259 [Kengan Ashura redux] Previously on Double Dragon Fighter: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95933387/#95957334 There were a lot of things that could be said about Luohan. He was a coldblooded murderer. The scourge of corporate Japan. But one thing he was not, was a quitter. Even if he had to resort to the martial arts equivalent of sissy hypno and gooning to accomplish his nebulously evil goals. “WOW WHAT IS THIS FEELING!” he shrieked, as Shen looked mildly surprised by Luohan actually being able to stand and trade with him. “FEELS LIKE FUCKIN SHIT MY MAN OH DAMN I’M TRIPPING BALLS” “Huh, that is pretty weird” he mused as with one kick he sent Luohan flying into a building, utterly demolishing the walls and caving in the roof. “You should be dead-no, vapourised by now. These techniques should be way beyond your power. What’s with you? It’s almost like…oh” Shen stared off into space as suddenly, without warning, his alter personality took over. “Oh. It’s you” he said blankly. The Tiger stared blankly into space. “Ah. Aaaaah. Argh” he said. “You gotta go limp in the lips and disperse the sonic energy from your lungs to speak” I clarified. “Awwyeah? Uh-huh. Hey, thanks for that” he said with a somehow even more stoic expression locking into place. “Anyway, my work here is done” “But you haven’t actually done anything” “Nevertheless” he said, simply refusing to explain while he left. Luohan stared up at the sky, blood pouring down his face as he sprawled out on the ground as even the will to lift his broken body from the ground was plainly beaten out of him. His expensive suit shredded to rags, and a hole punched through the concrete walls behind him. Tiger Niko, his first and last ally, was bawling like a little girl in the corner, having long succumbed to PTSD. The unfun panic attack kind of PTSD, not the Rambo kind. And taking stock of all this, he shouted “AHAHA YES, JUST AS PLANNED!”

>>60397 Luohan WON.

Oh yeah I can also post this here. Boop. Exalted Vs the World of Darkness >Vs Giant Snake, part 1 Ellen was having a terrible day. She'd gone over to a friend's house for a sleepover - which was a code word they mostly used as an excuse to do their duties as Princesses and defend the town from shadows - and the fight had run long. Or rather, more and more shadows just kept showing up. Danielle had done an augury in the two minutes they had between the fourth and fifth shadows, and Katie had just outright called another group of girls to discover they were also getting hit hard. There was something in the north of the city that the shadows were fleeing from by all accounts. Actually, it wasn't just the shadows. She'd seen a number of other people pass them by, going dangerously close to the fight in an attempt to make their way through. Some of them had been normal, but then there had also been this one butt ugly guy who was eating a rat as he went, just kind glazed-eye rambling past them in an effort to avoid whatever was stirring up shit in the northern half of the city. She didn't know who he was, but the fact he'd hoped down a sewer drain made her wish him well. She hoped things got better for him and he didn't have to live in the sewers anymore. Assuming he lived there, at least. But all of that was secondary, because a great rumbling noise and a cacophony of crashing sounds were heading their way. Rachel put up a ward to try and control the battlefield, while Mary put some buffs on Clarisse, who was rummaging through her back of brass knuckles that she'd stolen from gangsters to find a pair that weren't broken. She held up a pair triumphantly, moved to show them off, and then nearly dropped them as a giant snake burst onto the street. Its head was easily the size of a car, and they couldn't tell how long the thing was. All of it was jet black, bar its silvery eyes and faint designs written in silver scales that dotted its length. It turned towards them and its blood red tongue flicked out, tasting the air. "Whereeeeeeeeee areeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu myyyyyyyy kinggggggggg?" it called out, each word elongated into a hiss. Ellen stared at the giant snake blankly for a moment, and then looked at the other girls in her team. They were all just as confused as she was, glancing around for a plan or even a vague understanding of what was going on. A wave of shrugs swept through, indicating a complete lack of one, and Ellen sighed softly before squaring her shoulders, putting a smile on her face, and stepping forwards. "Excuse me, hello! Are you looking for someone? You seem to be causing quite a bit of damage, would you mind if I tried to help you find them a bit faster so you could stop causing that damage?" Bright, cheerful, friendly, the very essence of a Princess! When shooting something in the face isn't an option, try making friends! The snake's eyes blink slowly, first the left, then the right as it considered them. Its body pulls forward, coiling slightly as though settling down in a seat. "Theeeeeeee kinggggggg." it hissed out. Ellen licked her lips. Give her something to work with, would you? "I'm sorry, I actually know eight people who call themselves the king of this or the king of that - what kind of king are you looking for?" "Unnnnnnnncloakedddddddd Steelllllllll." "Hmm... I don't know a king of uncloaked steel. I know a king of swords? Does your king use any kind of fire powers, or is perhaps fond of exploring?" "Nooooooo." "Is there anything else about him you can tell me?" "Heeeeeee hassssss beennnnnnn rebornnnnnn. I cannnn smellll himmmmmmm innnnnn thissssss cityyyyyy." Ellen twitched. Please don't be a princess, please don't be a princess. "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with reincarnation shenanigans. The Queen of Hearts claims to remember me from my past life a few centuries back, but I don't remember a thing about it." The snakes tongue flicks out again, all but licking her as it tastes the air again. Then it freezes. "Youu haveee touchedddd himmm." Her party, already nervous, freezes. That has the potential to be very very very bad. "How recently?" "A dayyyy. Perhapssssss twoooo." "The only man I've touched in the past day or so is my father. I can... try to introduce you, I suppose?" "Thattttt willlll notttttt beeee neededdddddd." the snake hisses out at her, and then its tail is cutting through the air, and slamming into her. In the half a second before it hits her, she summons one of her guns and tries to use it to block, but she's swept up and off her feet in an instant. "I willl simplyyyyyy killllll youuuu andddddd thennnnn himmmmmm." Fuck. She'd already been having a terrible day. And then her body slams into the wall of the shopping mall they generally used as a gathering point and had been trying to regroup at as part of their disengaging. Thanks to a clever series of everyone's parents thinking they were at someone else's house, they usually had free reign to run around as a group before being picked up at the mall, but - Everything hurt, and Ellen stopped thinking for a moment.

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----- Howard Oaks glides through today like a boat on a calm sea with a fair wind. His girlfriend pulls him along between the vendors and into another clothing store. He's already spent quite a bit on her, but he can't find himself to be mad at her. Not when their first stop in the store is the dressing room. A sales associate tries to greet them, but she just waves her hand in front of their face and then blink a few times before wandering off. He would wonder about that, but that would mean not staring at her ass, so the thought slips through his mind. The instant he closes the door, she presses her lips into his, her nude body curling against him as she smiles teasingly. "God damn you're tasty, you know? I was going to have you follow me home, but I'm not sure you'll last that long. What was your name, anyways?" "Howard", he responds. The thought that his girlfriend should already know that slips through his head, and the rest of her words do too as her hand clamps down somewhere pleasant. Before she can do much of anything else, unfortunately, a dull rumble echoes through the building. He blinks, once, twice, and then - "Earthquake? Very large car crash?" "No, shut up." his girlfriend responds. Her clothes are already halfway on and she seems kind of pissed. Hopefully not at him. "Feels... big. Like something I want to be nowhere near. Congrats, you get to try and break my bed." Sounds like fun. His girlfriend is such a lovely girl sometimes. She grabs his hand and starts dragging again, pulling them out of the store and towards the parking lot. He can't recall if she has a car, but he came here on his bike so he could always carry her away to safety. They step out into the parking lot, and his girlfriend sucks in a breath as she about faces and turns the other direction. A giant snake is winding its way through the parking lot, tail rising and falling and smashing the cars seemingly at random. And then a girl in a poofy princess dress and wearing a pair of brass knuckles appears as if from nowhere to slam her fist into the snake's head. It shifts, screeching in pain, before its body coils and shifts, effectively hip checking her with enough force to slam her into a nearby car. ‘That girl looks familiar’ is the last thought to run through his head before his girlfriend's hand around his wrist pulls him away from the fight and back into the mall. ----- Angelica ran. She’d felt slightly off all day, the vague and unnerving sense that something bad was about to happen building up over the course of the week.. Flashes of something in the corner of her vision, leaving her twitchy. Maria had noticed, spent ten minutes searching around online, and then offered her a massage, utterly confident that it would help because she’d read it online. Nevermind the fact that she had no skill at doing so. …It had actually been fairly nice, but that was more about spending time with her sister than anything else. Maria was hilariously busy, and the only reason she wasn’t even more busy is because the principal had put his foot down when she’d ran for, and then gotten the votes needed to get every position on the student council. Specifically he’d flatly told her no, to pick a specific one, and then given the rest to the runner ups. But that wasn’t relevant. Because it hadn’t actually helped her calm down at all. The thing was still there, still watching her. She’d heard snippets of birdsong, but they’d been… artificial. Repetitive. The exact same song every time. And then the monster had stepped out of the shadows, the song echoing from its mouth shaping itself into feathered musical notes that had flown through the air and embedded themselves into the wall. They’d almost hit her, but she’d run. She was still running. Angelica would stop running when the song stopped, but it hadn’t so she kept moving, blind terror driving her forwards. She knew, deep in her gut, that if that thing caught her, it would kill her. She didn’t know what it was, some cross between a bird and a person. It might have wings, or just be wearing a feathered cloak. It might be wearing a bird mask, or maybe that was its face. She didn’t know and she didn’t care. She kept running. Unfortunately, she ran into yet more danger. Her path crossed into a main road, revealing a trail of destruction carving its way through the city center. Cars pushed aside and partially crushed, a portion of the road fractured and splintered as though something immense had been dragged along. She paused for just a second to catch her breath, and then realized something. The trail was leading directly towards the nearby shopping mall. The one her little sister always managed to drag her friends too after a sleepover, be it for shopping, a movie, or just to hang out and chat in the food court. Kid things. The mall her sister was supposed to be at right now, the one Howard was supposed to be picking her up from. Fuck. Angelica turned and ran. She really didn’t want whatever was chasing her to hurt her siblings, but she also needed to know they were safe. And maybe, if she was lucky, it would go back to lurking if she found a big enough crowd. -----

>>60540 Angelica chased. The fetch was slippery, and could sense her. Most of her daggers were missing by inches, the thing jerking out of the way at the last possible second. It was actually infuriating. Angelica only had so much time to deal with it, to get her life back, before the rest of her family noticed. Dad was out of town on one of his business trips. Howard was doing something at the mall. Ellen was having a sleepover, being childish. Maria was at school, being ridiculous. Mother was at home. Her window of opportunity was small, and she didn’t want to miss it. That’s why she’d ambushed the fetch and immediately jumped to lethality, but - well, it wasn’t working very well. Angelica wasn’t actually a very good runner. Her clawed feet were better for jumping than running, and better at gripping than actually providing stability. The fetch might actually be faster than her, but Angelica could at least jump good, gliding short distances after it. Though the fetches erratic changes in direction made that irritating as well. …Like just now. It had hit the main road and made a sharp turn. The absolutely wrecked main road. It made Angelica nervous, but she heard no horns and no dogs, so she kept chasing. Only a little longer and she’d be able to put this wretched echo of herself into the ground. In fact, it wasn’t turning any more, just running ahead at full speed. Ah, the mall. The mall Howard was at. It wanted crowds, a large number of people. It thought it would be safe. How wrong it was. Angelica leaped forwards, using a fallen telephone pole to leap off, and slammed into the things back. It hit the ground and screeched, even as she wrapped one of her feet around its neck and pressed the claws of her other into its back. “ELLEN!” …Why was it screaming? Did it somehow expect her useless little sister to save it? No, shouldn’t it have called for Howard instead? That didn’t make sense - Angelica looked up, and blanched. A truly massive snake, jet black, was moving about the parking lot, fighting a team of young girls in frilly dresses. That was. Um. What? No, wait, where was her sister? She shouldn’t be near this kind of thing. Angelica shifted, getting ready to pop the fetches head off her shoulders when she finally caught sight of her sister. She was leaning against a car, one of her arms utterly mangled, bone peaking out. Bad. That was bad. She held something up, some glowing golden thing, and then her sister was gone and another girl was there in her place. Massive blonde hair, and a number of glowing golden revolvers floating in the air around her, which she grabbed and started shooting at the snake with. Ah. Her sister had somehow found power. That was… good? Bad? The snake twisted and writhed under the assault of the girls, and then seemed to pause, focusing entirely on Ellen. It’s tail snapped out, slamming into where she had been seconds before, screaming out in rage as it went. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING HIM YOU WRETCH. I CAN SMELL HIM ON YOU.” Oh, the giant snake had a personal grudge against her sister. That was nice. Angelica shivered and hissed. Not fair. Not fair. Not fair. Why did her sister always have to be such a pain. Always demanding more and more attention, taking up more and more of her time. She had the fetch under her claws. SHE HAD IT. And she would have to give it up to save her, because mother always knew when she did something wrong with her siblings. Even after years, she still believed that. Still wanted to believe it. A shudder ran through her body, her bones shifting and snapping. Her cloak of feathers flows downwards and backwards, before cutting short and turning to scales as a second set of powerful legs erupt from her back, claws slamming into the pavement. The mask she’s wearing, a mixture of a masquerade ball mask and a plague doctor's mask falls from her face as her Mask shatters. She looks down, and sees the fetch staring back up at her, shock and horror in its eyes. She clicks her tongue, stepping forward and over the damn thing. “You should be able to copy my contacts. Make yourself useful and do so.” It’s the only piece of advice she plans to give the thing. Especially now that she’s running on a timer. She has minutes at best, so she’d better wrap this up quickly. She sucks in a deep breath, and SCREAMS. The sound that erupts from her throat isn't a song, isn’t the verbal daggers she normally uses. It’s just pure noise, the kind of thing that shatters eardrums and leaves you deaf for some time after. The kind of thing that hits like a truck. Which is exactly why the snake flinches away from the other girls, recoiling as though physically struck, before being lifted partially into the air from the force of the nonexistent blow. ----- “ELLEN!” Howard blinks. Once, twice. An idea is worming its way through his brain, and it’s not one he likes. His girlfriend is whispering sweet nothings, but he’s distracted. He knows his sister's voice. He knows that one of them is screaming the other's name.. He just can’t think of a reason for them to be doing that. He turns in the direction of where he thinks the scream is coming from, the far side of the mall. They’re almost to the other end, after turning around on account of the giant snake. Oh. Right. The giant snake. Weird thing to forget about. Oddly unimportant compared to spending time with his girlfriend. But the idea is percolating in his brain now and it won’t go away. Giant snake in the parking lot. Oddly familiar girl getting thrown into a car. Elder sister screaming younger sister's name. One of of his sisters are way the fuck too close to that thing. Possibly two. The instant the thought actually registers, his arm is ripped out of his girlfriend's grip and Howard bolts. Yeah, no, fuck that shit. Pushing his way past another retreating couple, he jumps up over a bench and starts using the middle area to bypass the crowd. He can hear his girlfriend behind him, but his sisters are in front and that’s more important. Reaching the parking lot again, he takes everything in. A bunch of what look like magical girls are fighting the snake. Some kind of half bird-half lizard monster slams into its side, scratching at it, but is thrown back. They aren’t hurting it. Scales are too thick, maybe? Or just magic? He didn’t particularly believe in magic, but hey, giant snake. At the very least he could jive with the things defense stat being too high to seriously hurt. But when that’s the case, just hit them somewhere softer.

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His next steps take him into the parking lot, and he grabs at a ruined sign as he moves past. It damn near rips his arms out of his socket, the fucking thing has way too much concrete stuck onto the bottom, but he shifts into swinging it in a circle and manages to pick up speed again. So, like a fool, he runs up to the snake and slams the pointy end of the sign directly into its eye. The snake rears back, actually injured for once, and then seems to shrink in on itself, growing smaller even as it’s thrashing forces him to backpedal the fuck away from it before he gets hit by it and sent flying himself. It’s eye is bleeding and ruined, and it shifts to lock him in the gaze of its other one. Behind him, one of the girls calls out “Are you stupid???”, which he politely ignores. He grins at the snake, trying to put on a face full of bravado. “Sup, bitch?” “HUSBAND.” the snake replies. …What? And then Howard was a Solar. ...which is to be continued in part 2, because this is huge and I haven't even done the succubus's pov yet, or had Maria dropkick her way into the fight, or gotten task force valkyrie involved.

>>60540 >>60541 You're the one who had the whole massive family tree with every splat imaginable on it even if it made zero sense aren't you?

>>61168 Correct. I have also added dudes of legend to the tree in the form of the technically a perfectly normal human grandmother.

>>61209 >Took my suggestion Neat

>>61215 The tree expands. It cannot be stopped.

Jump 1 007 Bond >Literature Background >MI5 Support (100) Perks >Fieldcraft (Free) >Universal Exports (150) >Oh, James! (300) >Technical Training 100 >Gadget Master 300 Items >Disguise Kit Free >Bugs 50 I was less than pleased to be called into my section head’s office and informed that I was being seconded to James Bond to assist him with his investigation of one Hugo Drax. My second life as an agent of MI5 to that point had been, while not without it’s dangers, relatively safe. I certainly hadn’t a license to kill nor any desire for one. I was quite content to handle wire taps, dead drops, and the occasional bit of counter intelligence work where I fed carefully curated information to a known Russian asset. Truly it was a great sacrifice for Queen and Country to let myself be “taken in” by a buxom Russian honey pot. Would that the entirely of my time in her majesties’ intelligence service could have been spent in such blessed duty, but alas it was not to be. Twas now my lot to go gallivanting after a red handed lunatic. I comforted myself that the assignment was at least a domestic matter. Just old M being a bit paranoid and having us look over the top nuclear boffin to make sure everything was on the up and up. At the time I didn’t think it likely to result in violence or any risk to my person. I should have known better. Mr. Bond was sent in as a Ministry of Supply officer. I was sent in as a janitor. Perfectly fine cover you know. No one pays attention to the janitor. Made it quite easy to bug the place. That the plurality of the staff were German, while perhaps a bit odd, didn’t immediately cause me great concern. After all quite a few of them had been taken in by the American’s as part of Operation Paperclip, and I thought perhaps Drax and his patron in the government were of a similar mind to the Yanks that it was better to use Nazi scientists to get ahead of the Soviets than to leave a potential resource on the table, even if it was a bit of a slap in the face to all our countrymen killed by German V-2s. Probably why it wasn’t widely known that our program had so many former Nazi’s, wouldn’t be popular at all with the proles. Someone in the government had to have signed off on it, it was inconceivable that our nation’s Moonraker nuclear program would be staffed with Germans without anyone in her majesties’ government having known. Except when I reported that little detail back to my superiors it appears they hadn’t known. Then after I got a recording of some of Drax’s men discussing the targeting coordinates for their upcoming launch, London, things got very violent very fast and I spent several nerve-racking minutes hiding in a closet and praying while Mr. Bond engaged in his daring do and managed to divert the missile. When all was said and done I was quite happy to be done with that little adventure and looking forward to getting back to much more pleasant, and rational, intelligence work. Unfortunately it seems I’d impressed 007 somehow and he made a habit of requesting I be assigned to him for future missions after that. After several years of surviving attempts by SMERSH to kill me by the skin of my teeth and somehow managing to keep Bond from getting both of us buried in unmarked graves I was most pleased to leave this life behind and move on. Surely the next world would be better. Surely.

>>61844 Jump 2 GITS Origin >Hacker 100 Perks >Humanoid Calculator (Free) >Super Class A (300) >Multitasking (100) Equipment >Cash (100) >Dummy Barrier (Free) Augmentation >Basic Cyberization (Free) >Full Cyberization (400) I missed having a dick. Technically speaking I still had wedding tackle, and it could be argued that my prosthetic replacement was superior to what I’d been born with, but I still missed my dick. However, there were undeniable advantages to being a full body cyborg for which I was quite grateful. For instance, if I was still flesh and blood I’d never be able to outrun the angry soldiers chasing me after I got caught slinking around their base trying to get access to the Imperial’s military network. While the young chaps shooting at me might have been in excellent shape I could outrun cars, punch through walls, and jump several stories. Bit of an advantage that. Made it out without more than a few new holes in my chassis. Nothing that wouldn’t buff out. Course the mission was a wash and I’d have to try again at some point, but I was trying not to think about that. Now one might wonder how I came to be in this situation. After all contrary to my experience with Mr. Bond intelligence work generally didn’t involve breaking and entering, and certainly you wouldn’t expect the foremost cyber intelligence asset of the United States of America, such as it was in this forsaken world, to be out in the field in person risking his shiny metal (plastic actually) ass. In an ideal world I’d be safe behind a keyboard in an air conditioned room. That had certainly been my intent this time around. I’d picked a specialization which I had thought would under no circumstances result in field work. This was however, far from an Ideal world. No this was a world that had survived WWIII and promptly gone bat shit insane. Bat. Shit. Insane. How the actual fuck had the EU not only survived nuclear conflict but actually evolved into a true unified polity as a result while the United States balkanized? And what a balkanization it was. I must confess that it didn’t surprise me to see most of the west coast and the north east taken over by secessionist commies. Though I did wonder why Washington hadn’t thrown in with them, as well as how they managed to take Idaho, the Russo-American Alliance made sense to me. The American Empire on the other hand was absolutely baffling. Came out of nowhere. To me at least. Perhaps I just hadn’t been paying enough attention to the goings on at home while happily ensconced in my safe government funded code cave having a grand old time running cyber operations against our nominal allies in the EU. One day I was happily inciting civil demonstrations in France deep from within Langley’s basement and the next I was fleeing for the Midwest after refusing to forsake my oath to the constitution in favor being one of the new regimes jackboots. Damn near cost me my life. It did cost me my original wedding tackle and all four limbs when all was said and done. Unfortunately most of my former colleagues were cowards that proved happy to sign on with the Empire rather than flee to the rump state that our once great nation had become, which left our new department of intelligence rather short staffed. So short staffed in fact that I myself had to manage no less than four different critical operations entirely solo. I must confess I missed Bond. Would have happily traded Arizona for some competent help. Fortunately for all involved, except for the filthy communist and totalitarian traitors of course, my ability to multi-task and keep track of all the moving parts proved up to snuff and I managed to keep things spinning. For a while at least, eventually the Imperials caught on to the fact that I was hacking them and leaking their troop movements to Mexican guerrillas. Everything we could do to keep them stuck in and bleeding themselves dry in Central and South America kept the Empire from looking our way after all, so I was more than happy to help the spics kill them by the truckload. I suppose I must have been too blatant, the Imperials had started keeping all relevant information off of any device with an external network connection. Hence my need to risk my own ass to get access. The stress of trying to keep the United States alive was getting to me I must confess. I was quite looking forward to the end of my time here assuming I didn’t get myself killed. At the very least I didn’t have to worry about working myself into an early grave. Cyborgs such as myself couldn’t suffer heart attacks. Still, it would be quite a relief to move on to the next world. It couldn’t be worse than this one. Surely not.

Honestly, making the build I wanted for the Monsterverse jump was harder than I really thought it would be, but all things considered it might just be survivable. It doesn't have a write up with it yet, but I'll get the build down for now I believe. Jump: Godzilla (Monsterverse) Origin: 200 CP Race - Titan Background - The Protector Age - 250,000 Sex - Male Location - Isla de Mara, Mexico Racial Perks: 600 CP The World is Silent The Hunt for Balance (100) Heal the World (200) Alpha Predator (300) Perks: 200 In Awe Right On Time (200) Powers: 800 CP King of the Monsters (800) Items: 300 Sunken City A Hollow Earth (300) Drawbacks: 1100 CP Traumatized (100) I Have A Right to Know (100) Hunted (200) Out of the Frying Pan (200) Gone Rogue (200) Strange Aeons (300) Companions: Free Symbiotic Partner (Queen of the Monsters) Titanus Mosura: 700 Age: ??? Sex: Female Race: Titan (Queen of the Monsters Power) Background: The Protector Mosura Racial Perks: The World is Silent

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Mosura Perks: In Awe Items: 100 CP Sunken City Deep Earth Tunnels

>>64133 Looking forward to it Goji

>>64389 Thanks, I'm still plotting out the chain a bit, but I think I know where it's going to go so far? I'm just trying to figure out some of the bits in the middle.

>>62425 Jump 03 Generic Cyberpunk Origin >Gearhead Perks >Technical Expertise (Free) >The Right Tools (Free) >Neuromancer 100 >Man and Machine (200) >Seed of the Singularity (300) >Transhuman Protocols (300) >Not Dark Enough (100) >Hand at the Wheel (100) Gear >Augmentation Suite 200 >Workshop of the Future 300 Drawbacks Always in the Gloom 100+ Numb the Pain 100+ Stay in Line 200+ World on the Brink 200+ The rare days when the sun broke through the dark gray irradiated smog were beautiful. There was something wonderful about natural light. So warm compared to the dim power efficient electronic lights that lit the surviving cities. So bright it hurt my eyes. I could replace them with artificial lenses that would handle the change in luminance without pain easily, but I preferred it this way. There was something comforting about the simple human frailty. So I sat there, blinking tears out of my eyes, watching as the sunbeam faded away waiting for my mole in NyxTech to arrive and give their report. It was almost insulting how easy it was to turn the corporate intelligence assets that were sent to try and gather information on my actions into my own agents within the megacorps. None of them had any real loyalty to their organizations. The corps quite frankly didn’t understand how to nurture it. Compared to trying to subvert SMERSH agents for MI5 it really wasn’t much of a challenge at all. Which was a very good thing, because if any of the corps had any idea what I was doing up here in the slums on the surface they’d come down on my network with all the force of the nuclear bombs that had blasted away the old world and plunged the survivors into this murky hell. After this life I was never going to assume the next world would be better again. Three was a clear pattern. Whatever it was that was shunting me between worlds seemed to take my hopes for a better life as a challenge. Another world that had “survived” WWIII. But in this world there had been no Japanese miracle. No way of dealing with fallout. Furthermore a great many more nukes, and much larger nukes, had been used plunging this world into Nuclear winter. A dying world where the few surviving humans clung to life in bunker city surveillance states run by the worst sort of plutocrats and their corporations. God forgive me, it was enough to make me wish fondly for the American Empire. Fortunately, the corporations didn’t care too much about what happened to the utterly destitute wretches too poor to afford to live underground that were forced to try and survive in the ruins on the surface. It allowed me a degree of leeway, as well as a perfect recruitment pool. When you saved a man from a horrible lingering death as radiation ate them alive by giving him a cybernetic body that was properly adapted for the environment they tended to be fanatically loyal. It started small. Individuals with nothing to lose. Then, as my network grew bigger and were able to salvage materials for me in significant amounts entire families and communities. It was perhaps the greatest accomplishment of my many lives, my small but growing network of free men and women able to survive and be happy on the surface. The metaphorical sunbeam breaking through the gloom of this world. One that required constant effort on my part to protect. I had occasionally in my last life felt rather like I was fighting alone during my time working for the Intelligence Department of the USA, but now I truly was alone. The continued survival of my nomads rested entirely on my shoulders as I frantically conducted electronic warfare and disinformation campaigns to keep them a secret from the rulers of the bunker cities bellow. Managing ops against the American Empire was nothing compared to this. Fortunately I had thus far proved able to the task, even if the stress had perhaps driven me to a few extremes. I may perhaps have developed a minor amphetamine habit, but that was hardly cause for concern. I was still perfectly in control it just helped me keep sharp. And if I occasionally made use of narcotics or hallucinogens for the purposes of stress relief it was not negatively impacting my abilities. I was entirely in control and could stop whenever I wished. There was just no reason to. A soft knock pulled me from my musings. Standing in the doorway was a young woman with shoulder length magenta hair pillowy lips and visible marks on her face from cybridization. NyxTech senior field operative Ivana Gutknecht. One of my most reliable agents. With a smile and a nod I invited her into the room and made my way over to my desk to receive her report. As I sat down rather than take the chair across from me she came around the desk and slid into my lap and began to fiddle with my collar. Well then. You know, I had made fun of Bond for his entanglements. He’d probably laugh himself sick at my hypocrisy. I’d turned into more of a rake than he’d ever been. But really was it my fault that the agents sent by the corporations tended to be young nubile women who’d been starved of affection for their entire lives? Perhaps I could be accused of taking advantage, and it certainly wasn’t good tradecraft but...really what was I supposed to do? The best way to turn an enemy operative was to befriend them. To make their relationship with you personally more significant than their ties to their organization or country. Really it wasn’t my fault that Ivana had latched on to me romantically. Or Katsumi. Or Angela. Absolutely not my fault. Shut up shoulder James stop laughing. As Ivana started slowly unbuttoning her blouse while looking at me with burning hooded eyes I resolved myself to loosing the next hour or so to reaffirming our relationship before I could get her report. Which would be fine. I had accounted for this possibility, though I had hoped to at least get the information I needed before we got down to shagging so that I could have a bifurcated branch of my consciousness working on it while we indulged. I suppose I could have insisted on the report first rather than pushing her to her knees and reaching for my belt, but it was best not to risk it. Couldn’t afford to offend my inside woman with NyxTech at this critical juncture. And besides all work and no play made jack a boring boy. This tiny bit of inefficiency probably wouldn’t kill anyone.

>>64487 I feel that. Stitching together all the different individual jumps into a coherent chain is hard. I know what I want to do in each jump more or less, but the order and getting them to flow right and support the overall goals I have is surprisingly hard. And that's before you get started and things go off the rails and you realize you need to add entirely new elements.

>>64133 A bit more of a draft than anything else, but I was able to get something down at least. Tell me if there are any major grammar mistakes or something He remembers flashes. Flashes of light. Bursts of sound. The deep rumble of thunder and the high cackle of lightning. The infectious lure of the Invader. The roar of an unending, deep sea and a shifting in the bones of the Earth. The protective roar of his kin. The pulsing comfort of a sun suspended in the sky and the wind rushing through a valley. The calming call of his partner. An unending cacophony that led to the icy bounds of the world. I felt the noise go silent. The flashing of lights, fiery blue, toxic gold, and shining hues of orange and yellow, finally ceased. The silence stretched until he heard it. The sound of air itself trying to flee. The rippling power of a triumphant bellow, commanding all others to bow beneath its ceaseless dominance. However, despite his kin’s victory, the world was not as it once was. Our kin, depleted by the great wars against the Apes of the Deep Hollows and controlling of the Parasites, were no more than we two. The world had grown dim. Its shining light receded deeper into its core. He felt it in the heart of the oceans, the seas, the rivers, the lakes. The world was tired. And so was he. It was time he rested alongside the rest of the great beasts of the world. Feeling his body slow in his tiredness, he swam towards his lair on the surface world. A home of grand, twisting caverns built by the supplicants of his own Shining One. He had finally come home. A great sprawl of their own lairs, some large and some small, unfolds before him. A great city concentrically ringed with four great lakes surrounding its center; each shrinking in length but growing in width and depth. Eight great rivers of the clearest blue, run throughout their collective home, connecting the lakes with the pulsing life of the outside world. Flowing into the cavern, the water from the entrance travels gracefully with only the sound of soft drips and the gentle flow being heard. Its peace is only broken by the swaying of rocky spines moving towards the center of the city. In the center of it all was a great expanse, carved into the depths of the underwater cavern. A great, raised platform terraced with interlocked rises, some for the humans, some for him and his. From its center, life blooms around the altar, with water flowing as gently up and around its steps as it did in the rivers. Flowers of iridescent cerulean, twisting and breathing vines, towering trees burrowing into shifting soils; all surrounding the human lair’s most precious sight. A great egg, glowing with the soft colors of the clear sky. Basking in her glowing light, he hefts his ever tiring body towards her resting place. Gently laying around her egg, coiling about it, she pulses gently. And all he remembers is flashes. That'll be the opening I believe, probably need to touch somethings up here and there.

[Make the Exorcist Fall In Love redux] >Previously on Exorcist Eternal: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/93873446/#93884573 The boy's eyes glazed over as I explained what temperature play, electric shock play, and muckbang. He twitched in place as I explained frotting, sounding and penis fencing. And he looked like his soul was leaving his body when I explained klismaphilia. "And that" I said dryly, a few hours later, "concludes my lecture on the tamer examples of sex" "T-tamer?!" "The demon in your midst is a pathetic excuse for a succubus. Now that you comprehend these acts, she should have NO surprises capable of traumatising you with" "Don't worry Mr. Saint" said the boy firmly, "I won't let any harm come to Imuri while you're off slaughtering demons in Hell!" I just stared at him. "...Mr. Saint? D-did I say something wrong?" "...not as such. We'd have done things differently if I had my way, but in His divine plan it's the prerogative of the young to learn by trial and error" The boy known as Mr. Priest stared as I strode off and started to triple-check the armaments I had prepared. Angelic matter called down from on high swirled in the form of nanomachines. Sacred geometries pulsed in tandem with the etchings on my flesh. Energy weapons inlaid with blessings thrummed with matter-destroying radiance at my approach. Palm-sized drones whirred about, cycling their holy energy weapons. Limiting my powers to this avatar wasn't much of an obstacle when my cosmic consciousness had figured out how to alloy heavenly power into matter and energy at a glance. "You know Mr. Priest" I said finally, "you remind me of myself when I was working for the Lord" "...how?" "Well for one thing, it's how you've clearly lost the will to live. But can't bear to die and have it all be for nothing, either. Trust me, I've been there, and the only way forwards is straight through that gosh darned valley of the shadow of death" 1/6 "That can't be the case!" he protested. "You're about to fight all the legions of Hell on your own! Face down demon lords, by yourself!" "Ah, but I'm not by myself" I said, gesturing for a miniature moon and something with silvering wings to rest on my palm. Followed by the angel Raphael of this world. "Way I see it, I've just got more experience working with our mutual comrades. That's all" For the valley of the shadow of death, I thought, is wherever God bade me to walk. "I just can't see it, Mr. Saint" said the boy, hanging his head. "You're succeeding at things I'm just learning are there" "...succeed? Yes, that's what I was told at the end of the fourth Ordeal Call" I said softly. "Look. Whe-if you ever find a reason to abandon the path you're on, just remember God loves watching people get back up as much as He loves watching them actually rise. But listen to me, an old man warbling about past glories. You want some practical advice?" "Always!" "Reread the Bible" I called over my shoulder as a portal sent me straight to Hell. "You're doing as well as can be expected, but you're leaving the REALLY deadly verses on the table. Don't HESITATE. Check out Psalms. Check out both Kings books, Numbers, 2 Samuel and Judges" As the barrier to the demon world shut and the boy sputtered in confusion, I added "But save Genesis and Revelations for until you're really up against the wall!" >Lust "Mortal you can't come in here, this is the domain of the demon lord AsmodeuARRRGH" was the most common greeting I received as I walked into the demonic palace, making a direct beeline for a very disgruntled demon lord of Lust. "Oh look, another one" she said in a huff. "Ara, are my subjects...?" "Not worth expending the energy to kill. You're all doomed" I said dismissively. A chorus of groans went up behind me, demons sealed and impaled with tiny holy acupuncture needles on the floor.

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2/6 Asmodeus, grotesque amalgamation of dead animal parts from the waist down and typical anime waifu from the waist up, raised an eyebrow. "Oh, my. However should I thank you for sparing my subjects~" "Putting on the charm already? I suppose I can't blame a demon for playing her role to the hilt. I'll cut to the chase" I said briskly even as amorphous appendages started to wrap around my legs. "I'm here the exact Heaven's vengeance on behalf of mankind, in direct response to the Demon Lords' ravages. No more, no less. You and me, one on one" "Oh? Interesting. And how will you do that, new meat?" "By beating you at your own game. I won't take the Lord's name in vain, but I understand your kind enjoy contracts? You have an hour to make me ejaculate, with all your powers. If you make me ejaculate, my soul is yours. If you fail or orgasm yourself first, I demand your submission to divine judgement as well as the right to obtain a seventh of your power in an inert form. Finally, as my first 'customer' I will limit myself to using two miracles. How about it?" Her eyes damn near bulged out of her skull. "You're SO on, choirboy! Any last words?" I smiled faintly, as I spread my legs and exposed my penis. "Ezekiel 23:19-20" Immediately Asmodeus fell upon me, visiting all manner of violation and horror. Or at least attempting to as femtomachines reknit my flesh, forcefields of angelic energy flashed and spat against her assault and my mind simply weathered her cursed temptations with utmost indifference. Something was wrong. As she seduced feverishly, Asmodeus felt her own loins moistened, her own breasts grow heavy with demon milk, her- "N-nO! NoT lIkE ThIS!! Beaten aT mY oWN gaME...oN mY oWN TURF???" she howled, unable to restrain the miraculously enforced orgasm between her legs. "Deuteronomy 25:11-12" I said, a death sentence marked by falling angelic blades. 3/6 >Greed "Dammit dammit DAMMIT!" shouted a suit-wearing man, pounding on the inside of a gate to hell (Leviathan yelled at him to stop hitting her teeth from far away). "A fight, a REAL fight between REAL men, that's all I wanted!" "We might be able to help each other" I offered. He whirled around, at first affronted I had hacked into his holdings and put some of his comrades into cages-then breaking out in a fierce grin when I tossed him a lucha libre mask while donning my own. "Oh. Oh YEAH, it doesn't get more manly than this!" "Hosea 12:4" I said. To his credit, Mammon didn't back down from a literal ladder match-but in the end I suplexed him into another Gehenna. >Envy This, I thought watching the giant sea monster falling from on high, was just like playing with my daughters in the olden days. She was surprised but delighted when after running into one human capable of playing with her, she fell atop another who instead of running simply intoned "Judges 16:28-30" and started cleaning and jerking her bodyweight like the world's biggest beachball. Almost all of Hell stared aghast as I proceeded to use the Demon Lord Leviathan as a glorified beachball in between giving her tummy rubs and headpats. >Gluttony The Lord of Flies was a bad matchup for a human in sheer endurance. "Deuteronomy 11:17" Fortunately he wasn't himself when he was hungry, and after running him ragged around the Gehennas he was very, very tired when he had to come up to the surface and fight Mr. Priest. >Wrath The true mastermind was very surprised when the real Archangel Michael's sword cut him in half. >Sloth "H-hey, this is a private area! I'm in the middle of a scheme to-" babbled Belphegor as I walked up, stared at his...court, and said "Mark 6:31" gently to him before leaving. Belphegor blinked. He stared at Mr. Priest, who was currently... "Well, perhaps I can let him enjoy a happy dream for a while longer" 4/6 >Pride "Hey, I'm incredibly glad to meet you! Do you know why? Because you're the first person in AGES I've never anticipated!" asked the shounen protagonist who was this world's version of Lucifer. "I think" I said, blinking, "you may well just be my second favourite version of the Devil ever" "Hell yeah! Wait, who's the first guy?!" "Your plan" I said, ignoring him. "is admirable. But I've already committed to helping a friend. So I'm going to offer you a few tips from personal experience. Then we're both going to wait for Mr. Priest to get here" "Well, I can't fault your loyalty. And I can see the data written on your cellular structure, clear as day. I LOVE what you've done to that human vessel of yours" he said. "even if it's somewhat...incomplete" "I'm waiting for the right catalyst to present itself" I said meaningfully. "...I see. So even you can't escape the plan?" "I can and have. I just don't want to. When this is over, remind me to tell you about the fourth Ordeal Call too, if only you knew how good you have it here" Inevitably Mr. Priest showed up, in desperate need to kill a friend-and realising I was standing between him and Lucifer's ritual. "Hey, kiddo. Remember what I said about abanding your path?" "Please Mr. Saint, it's Imuri-" "I know" "Lucifer will destroy Hell trying to evolve the demons-" "I know" I repeated, "and what of it? It is after all, God who wills this place's destruction. Why shouldn't I just...help it along?" "Because it's Imuri's home, Mr. Saint" he said timidly. "Then, Mr. Priest" I said patiently and with great kindness, "you have no choice but to kill me since I've become an obstacle in your way" "No!" "Boy" I said, pointing at my own throat, "it is not a sin to fight for those you love. You are gentle. You do not like to hurt. But it is because you cherish life that you must protect it. Please drop your restraints, and just...let it go. For her sake" 5/6 With tears in his eyes, he swings in an arc crackling with Hell's damnation as well as his tarnished heavenly might. No shield of mine activates. My drones remain inert. The cobbled together mystical practices I have syncretised into an "anti-witchcraft" system allow his blade straight through. I'm proud of him. So's Lucifer. "..j...ohn...eigh...t...s-even..." I force my shattered throat to spit out, turning my own death into a redemptive sacrifice for a very, very special demon lord. ... "WHAT?!" yelped Mr. Priest as all the demonic energy I'd claimed suddenly reconciled instantly with his angelic energy, As Leviathan showed up with many, many demons unwilling to see their Hell go down without a fight. And as my tumbling almost-corpse scrawled out GENESIS 5:24 on the ground, resulting in a thunderous series of trumpet blasts as the cardinal archangels and the angelic matter implants in my body started resonating-resurrecting me, and filling me up with divine power. "Y-YOU'RE ALIVE?!" "Resurrection! Resurrection Mr. Priest, it's a miracle repeated in multiple tellings of Jesus' life! Death is a small thing" I exclaimed. "especially to burn away my own mortality!" "...I have issues with that statement but I'm glad you're okay" he mumbled. "I don't" said Lucifer cheerfully. "The fact that this guy independently, without ANY input from me, successfully remade himself into a divine being has got me REALLY pumped up! Even if that means we've got to fight while I hold my hand in place!" "Boy, remember what I said about holding Revelations in reserve?" I stage-whispered. "YEAH. One lake of fire, coming right up" he said grimly, as we prepared to face the wrath of the once-highest angel together. 6/6

Destiny: The Darkness redux] >FRATRICIDE: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95500563/#95508022 Strands tighten and slacken, like grasping limbs. Frayed nerves. Pulsating sphincters in time and space, that reach through all of human history, allegedly manipulating it to some grand design despite previous would-be puppetmasters finding it difficult to manipulate the paracausal to their will. But now, there is conflict. Enmity. The Nine are at civil war, and so they beckon the Guardians to distant Kepler where their value can be made known There is, of course, one small snag. Me. "Welcome, all of you. My offspring|Lilim subspecies|weapons, the security concerns of the Gardener have finally exceeded this small system, and linear time" I speak across universes, and through one pours cosmic rime while through the other a multitude of emerald strandlings. A third slips through between her sisters, her presence felt only by the intensity of Deepsight around her. All of them are vast, churning cyclones of Light and Darkness rendered Prismatic in which faces and hands and limbs form stable geometric orbits-and tether a great expanse of dark matter that follows through with them. "Then why only us?" asks the Weaver, basking in the ecstasy of small minds looking upwards in fear and uncertainty. "Why not usher in ALL our kin?" "She would prefer I not" I say even as the great orb of the Traveller stares at the new arrivals in grave concern. "Then this is a reconnaissance mission. A period of observation" says the Oracle, broadening her gaze across possibilities and inevitabilities. The Nine of course, cannot help but sense our observation. The Nine react in the only logical way. Horrified screaming. "And if what we see displeases" says the Sculptress, "we will use the old ways" It's understandable. It's not every day you a corpse animated by parasites wandering around. 1/4 The Guardians have apparently always had the capacity to fly to Kepler, and did not think to contact me before I signalled my intent to get involved. They do pay much more attention when the former Emissary, plucky by me from the Nine's grasp, informs them that plans long set in motion are coming to fruition. "Guardian. Or. Last Word, whichever you prefer" says Ikora, "this flower I'm holding up somehow means we're being invited by the Nine" "Ah. So it's already begun" I muse. "What?" "The manipulations. Ikora, before we proceed further there's a few things you should know about how thoroughly Nine intervention has changed human history" "We have always known the Nine have forces everywhere" she says dismissively, "but there's no real evidence that-" "They shot JFK" Ikora tilted her head. "...is that supposed to be a joke? What does a historical leader's death have to do with-" "Oh and they killed you to make you a Guardian in order to manipulate you to arriving on Kepler at this exact moment. You were tenacious in life; they attempted to make you something akin to the Emissary, but you instinctively ran and so they chose your colleague Lodi. And punished you by throwing a train at you through space and time. Kind of like the one they're about to throw at you right now" Ikora glared at me. A Void bomb started to crackled around her fists as she strode up and snapped "If it was anyone, ANYONE else, who spoke to me like that I would have chosen violence now". She sagged, the Light dimming around her. "But I know for a fact you've seen enough wonder and horror that this isn't even the strangest truth you've told me. For the love of...is there anything else I SHOULD know?" "The Nine can use phones to drag people through space and time, and turn them into bargain bin Emissaries"

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2/4 Ikora blinked at that. She stepped aside briefly as a goddamn train smashed through Kepler's time-warped Chicagoesque landscape, a final gesture of pure pettiness by the Nine. "Ikora to Vanguard, I want a security check on ALL forms of communication now. You were saying" she said, "about my...colleague, Lodi?" You both worked for a Golden Age organisation dedicated to studying alien life. Without their Emissary, they're using him as their point of contact with Guardians, all the while using other races to fight their little civil war for them. The House of Exiles are cultivating what you would understand as a miniature Witness. They would have recruited Maya by telling her how to make a perfect Chioma if I hadn't dealt with that. And now. They have a vested interest in cooperation with the Guardians" "Is this the part where you urge us to kill them first?" demanded Ikora. "That depends on which faction wins" I said bluntly. "To be quite honest, as annoyed as I was by the Red Legion affair I find myself ambivalent about the transhuman uplifting offer the Nine propose now that I have enough forces to defend the Traveller from all corners of the cosmos myself. Take up employment with them. Don't. It's all the same to me, just consider if making new friends is worth making new enemies too. Oh and one more thing. You had a daughter" "Well. She's long dead, just like the woman I was" I am the first Guardian to bond with dark matter at a sub-quantum level, turning into a blot of pure energy darting about. Of course I am. It's the first trick my own variant of humanity learned to do all those eons ago. It's a trick that lets me step aside from a conflict where despite the actual singularity to be honest, not much of importance is happening and enter the interstitial spaces the Nine inhabit. 3/4 T H E A G E N T A W A I T S, booms Jupiter, as the others turn (or do something analogous to turning) to face me. C O N V I N C E H I M O F T H E A B S O L U T E N E C E S S I T Y O F O U R C A U S E You could sooner - sprout wings and fly from this cradle, retorts Venus. What do - you wish from us, Lone Wolf? we offer you limitless weapons|DLC + a new transmog|state of being, adds Uranus. "I am unimpressed by your theatrics and empty promises, and you are unimpressed by events confined by linear time. Let's cut past the timelocks and discuss what data may leak from future to past. You intend to make Ikora the new Emissary" her oft-cited potential = realised in our grasp, claims Neptune. "And you're afraid of an entity known as the Astronomer" All of them go silent. .lets not get carried away say I no want trouble, says the Sun. "You know what I did to your would-be pawns. You have tried and failed to regain control of my timeline. You want to be the latest fools on the block, pretending you can control paracausality even as you dip your tendrils in it and experiment with making those empowered by Light and Darkness? So be it. Either you'll fail and the Guardians will go home with your trinkets in their lootboxes, or you'll succeed and I'll pick up the slack" "But" I add, "if ANY of this comes back to harm the Traveller, I'll show you exactly what I did to your kind to reformat humanity in my image" At a gesture, cosmic ice creeps over dark matter tendrils. At a gesture, strands pierce and twist whorls of dark matter. At a gesture, something unseen starts severing intricate acausal connections. The Nine recoil from conflict, because any pain they experience is experienced forever. They sputter assurances and pleas that all will be well, while slinging more offers my way. "Don't. Fuck. This. Up" I threatened the acausal hoops of dark matter. 4/4

[Blue Archive redux] >Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/91900942/#91902244 I beamed at nothing, as I stared at my meticulously put-together lesson plan. It was a comprehensive syllabus that began with strong student engagement, proceeded smoothly into the cut and thrust of deeper academic concepts, and ended with a strong promotion of social intercourse about the coursework. As I strode boldly into my new class with a "Good morning, class!" on my lips, I expected that this day, THIS day, would be the one where everyone actually learned something. Instead about half the class suddenly started cumming loudly and violently all over their desks, while the other half went BWEH BWEH BWEEEEEEH and started crying about my nonexistent disappointment in them, and I ended up having to awkwardly cheer up the smol girls who weren't actively firing lethal weapons at each other. The AI in my phone apparently considered this a "successful class" to my bewilderment. "You know what' I said to Arona finally, "if we're really going to be stuck dealing with, with...this" I said vaguely as yet ANOTHER bank robbery happened right outside my window. Because despite turning Kivotos into a militarised killzone for eldritch entities, somehow cute girl crime remained a pillar of the economy, "for YEARS and YEARS on end, I'm going to deal with your eldritch horror problem once and for all" "But sensei" protested Arona as I started manifesting the Block Chain Computations necessary to enforce a temporal retrograde spiral on the surrounding area, then added a few verses of Enuncia for good measure to alter the local Mystery differentials in advantageous ways, "the Chroma is a horrific entity that's the key to the Nameless Priestes' plan to wipe out all gods in existence! Don't you think you're being a bit...reckless?" 1/4 "So what you're telling me" I mused, as two TARDISes flew in at my beckoning. "is that the Chroma is...a mid-tier Time War combatant" Arona blinked. "...what's a Time War?" she asked, as the Chroma unfurled it's awful glory into this dimension. Alarm bells rang out all over Kivotos as numerous small, variably well-armed girls pointed firearms at it. "A conflict that" I paused, mentally recalibrated for the average comprehension level of Kivotos, and reminded myself that Rio (theoretically one of the most intelligent students, notwithstanding those with degrees in Omniscience) couldn't wipe her own ass without following a strict set of ass-wiping protocols "...if it HAD happened, would have been way too complicated to solve by shooting things, which is why the combatants used weapons like THIS" Both TARDISes unloaded their weapons on the Chroma in a fusillade that disorientated it's temporal positioning. Then the Computations kicked in with the TARDIS' motions-forming a hypercube of indefinitely dilated time that froze the Chroma in an eternal looping moment of entering Kivotos' reality, not dissimilar to how the Eye of Harmony itself was structured. ... "That's really cool, sensei" said Hoshino finally, as my cute girl brigade waddled over to gawk at it. "Thank you. Now that THAT's been indefinitely dealt with, is there anything else that requires my attention?" "Well...we didn't want to interrupt you planning a war with the Chroma but uh, lately we've reported some notorious escapees from the Correction Bureau that-" Stop. "The. The Correction Bureau. It's literally called that" I said flatly. "...y-yes, Sensei" "I mean I KNOW it's called that, but god it's just sinking in how that sounds" "And we believe the person responsible for it is...PROFESSOR SMUG" I stared plaintively up at the sky. "What am I doing with my life?" I asked nobody. 2/4 The conflict that followed was both predictable and absurd. I went up to the notoriously violent mask-wearing assailant only to be greeted by a loud, horny SENSEEEEEIIII by showing basic decency to her and ending up having to fight off a clingy stalker with a stick who kept breaking in and out of prison at will. I met some sort of phantom thief-cosplaying girl whose motivation was like, giving art to the people, a goal which was technically in alignment with my art classes so...that was actually pretty nice since I got a genuinely enthusiastic student without unresolved anger management issues or excessive horni for once. And THEN I had to deal with a bioweapons-unleashing cult leader who, upon being responded to with an honest "Eh, I've overlooked worse" when asked about acceptable moral lines, immediately cooperated with her arrest while giving me doki-doki eyes. And after THAT the next escapee turned out to be this absolute unit of a young lady who didn't even do anything wrong other than being the Japanese schoolgirl equivalent of a Hell's Angels chapter leader.

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Which I mean, I didn't really see as deserving of imprisonment compared to the constant unresolved terrorist activities caused by ork-brained schoolgirls. "I've had a long day" I told the Chroma finally, as it entered reality and oozed back out in it's temporal spiral. "You know, my life used to be simple. I'd just go to worlds, render them eternal, and then destroy the eldritch monstrosities plaguing them. Like you!" The Chroma pulsated. "But NO, now everything depends on the care and nurturing of cute girls! Including my goals! Hell, I bet at the end of this sorry saga YOU'RE going to turn into a cute girl!" I yelled at the Chroma. The Chroma pulsated. "And YES, I could conquer this insipid world. But not without fomenting more conflict! Against my goals!" I shouted at the uncaring universe. "There! I said it! 'm tired of winning!" 3/4 It oscillated incomprehensibly. I considered my words. I considered the vessels Horus and Anubis had taken. "...in fact, you know what, Chroma? Why bother delaying the inevitable? Run Supreme Archetype resonance scan. Factor for eldritch energy signatures" I told my Sonic Module Weirding Screwdriver. A series of whirring noises rang out as I interpreted data imperceptible to mortal eyes. "Good. Good, you're not an Outer God. Which means" I said, taking off my pants, "THIS is permissible" The Chroma's central mass expanded and contracted, with alien eagerness, as I waved my penis in my face. It had wanted me as it's representative, after all. I started connecting to the divine personage that my human avatar's inexplicable Mystics gave me a connection to. The very fabric of space-time started to dilate, pushed outwards and folding inwards simultaneously at impossible speeds in an Alcubierre. "Sensei! What are you doing?!" screamed Arona, carried over by the delinquents I'd corrected (literally). "Whoa. Nice cock" said Akemi as Wakamo foamed at the mouth and the others took pictures. "Don't look so astonished" I chided, as behind my mortal avatar the divine biomechanical pillar stabbed the swirling hole in the Chroma repeatedly, spouting liquid light into it's dark soul-analogue. "I'm simply taking the winning play in this world to it's logical endpoint. Every time, EVERY TIME conflict arises here it's been resolved by my FAT ADULT COCK, so since nobody wants to actually LEARN anything from me I'm just going to solve this existential threat with my GIANT GOD COCK. When you get down to it, is this REALLY meaningfully different to-" "I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST TO TAKE YOUR TRUE COCK! BWEEEEH!" cried Arona. I slowly, slowly facepalmed as I realised the likely reaction of Kivotos was once again incongruent with my own strategies and expectations, all the while continuously fucking the Chroma stupid. 4/4

[Destiny the Darkness redux] >SUBVERSION: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/96080959/#96101542 Judgement has been passed. It takes considerable patience for me to delay the verdict, but such is my commitment to professionalism that when the Vanguard detected mysterious energy signatures swirling around the solar system, I informed them of my children's arrival. And when the Vanguard learned I had children, it panicked and demanded I wait for a representative to sign off on whatever decision I had made. That is why I have to watch Ikora and Lodi work through their pity party while Orin alternates between bemoaning her lack of agency and demanding the Nine speak through her anyway for hints on what they're up against. "I can't believe this, I decide my fate!" declares Ikora, and I point out to her that if she really wants to make an issue of it I could give her an Echo, or Discipleship, and she could pull another Nine into materiality to teach them a lesson. She thinks over the implications of a second black hole hitting the solar system, and thanks me but demurs. "My world is GONE?!" demands Lodi, and so we take him back to Earth where all the infrastructure of the Golden Age has been restored. And patiently explain to him that it need not be gone forever, for I have created a Sundial (and worked out the kink of confusing simulations for bonafide timelines) dedicated for Earth. His world is a literal stroll away through Vex-forged corridors. Though we remind him his world will meet it's destruction. He hesitates, but only briefly, before thanking us and leaving. I watch him go, uncaring for the potential paradoxes caused by a man only allowed to take as much actionable evidence of his travels as he can carry, and who just wants to live a quiet life. And more importantly whose return thwarts the desires of the Nine. "Well. That went well" says Ikora. "It did" I agree. "...here's my signature. Give it hell" 1/3 Mercury. The stunted dwarf of a rock burbles hurried experiences and pleas at me: It's expectations of barbarism, thwarted. A dog pet, and the delight this inspired in the vaster lifeform. Kindness, celebrated. Our Weapon, it implores, all I seek is coexistence. "Then I propose a business transaction" I tell it, finally. "Relief from your pain, in exchange for a reallocation of resources" And it agrees. The Vex do not inhabit time as the Nine do, but they are more skilled at cheating it. Can construct devices to siphon or harness dark matter. With their proprietary paracausality that I embody, they construct a number of rings which the Weaver seeds her strands into that use Darkness to smother the agony of being Taken, cracked and terraformed. I of Nine breathes a sigh of relief under it's brave face, and directs more effort towards manipulating the production of laser weapons on it's surface. A week later, all Guardians enjoy surprise discounts on tracer rifle sales. Venus. The scoured home of the Ishtar Collective greets me with entrepreneurial optimism, buoyed by it's sibling's bargain. It speaks of how the Gardener once considered it as fertile soil. An opportunity - yet renewable, it entreats, our interests - need not - mutually exclude. "If we can count on your support against the council" I state, "On behalf of the Traveller, I will renew a discarded possibility" And it agrees. The Oracle sees the schema of the Traveller's efforts, and remembers them in Darkness, then in Light. Verdant blooms sprout across Venus where she shifts back a layer of reality-and through creative interpretation, starts the evolution of one organism in particular that could one day be a suitable body. II of Nine signals it's gratitude for being chosen as the first Nine to have an Ultimate One|suitable celestial vessel grown for it. Earth. 2/3 The wet, damp rock reaches for me with maternal affection, hurt by my reflexive interrogation. Instead of taking a specific position, it simply relays eons of human history at me. my child relinquish this spite of yours accept love, it entreats, you have already averted my fated demise by interdimensional compression at Maya Sundaresh's hands why view me as a threat? "My devotion is to the Traveller, not to hyperdimensional parasites causally entangled with it's chosen race" I assert, "but I accept the current arrangement requires no further alteration"

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but this is your home "You are no more my home than the tapeworm is the cow it inhabits" III of Nine's pleas bounce off me as I observe the next in line. Mars. Bombastic and affronted on III behalf, it bombastically boasts of Freehold's glories mined from it's crust-which soon subside into maudlin memory of better times. Then project the image of Lodi with his family, just as it rejoices that my paracausality has inadvertently spared III from death. NOT ALL OF US ARE COLD AND UNCARING AS OUR SPHERES, it booms, SOME WOULD JOIN YOU AS BROTHERS IN ARMS. "Demonstrate that resolve" I tell it, "and Mars will remain as patrolled as Earth" There is no need for further consideration. After returning the Golden Age, the first thing the Vanguard did with those resources was set up a Martian colonisation effort-something for which IV is overjoyed about to once again have continental-scale urban developments sprawling over it. It does offer an exotic set of dark matter ammunition though, so in the spirit of cooperation my Vex create a new array of orbital defence units mimicking it's favourred ordinance. Jupiter. A T T E N T I O N I A M V A V E R T E R O F C A T A C L Y S M S- LIAR, I scream in sudden|pent-up|limited outrage, my daughters coiling restlessly with the promise of coming violence. 3/5 WHERE WERE YOUR TIME-TRAVERSING TRAINS WHEN THE ALMIGHTY SOUGHT THE SUN'S DESTRUCTION? WHERE WAS YOUR REACH WHEN SAVATHUN STOLE INTO THE LAST CITY? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE BLACK FLEET ARRIVED? U N D E S E R V I N G A P E- IMPOTENT SLIME, I scream back, the entity shocked into silence by a rage great enough to shout over even it. YOU FORGED MY VERY HISTORY INTO A BLADE WITHOUT A POMMEL OR HILT. NOW SEIZE ME, AND BE CUT The Sculptress bends Light and Darkness into a Nova Bomb rimed with Cosmic Ice. Then drops it into the Great Red Eye. V of Nine trembling in horror as it realises what she has done to it: Implanted a white hole bomb that will collapse the planet, explode it, and freeze the explosion in place so it will spend geological lengths of time in crystalised agony if it ever gets uppity at me again. "We are leaving one behind, father" says the Weaver, unwinding and rewinding herself with the thrill of coming violence. "Let me silence it's disrespect for you" "Good. Let it stew in the fate it knows now awaits it. Do not give it the dignity of our attention yet" I order as we drift past the sixth planet in silent contempt. ... Uranus. Imagery of cosmic spatial tesseracts and planetary shackles dissolves to abstract percolations of panic as it realises what I intend to it's sibling. It resorts to allegations of bad faith about the core planets (irrelevant, I trust none of them). We implore + our Weapon (you) + to see + the opportunities of collusion, it pleads, do you + not also + resent those + limited by linearity? "Not nearly as much as I resent those who kill freely and without consequence then have the gall to beg for understanding" I tell it, icier than any wind in it's depths. "Mass scattering you would not be difficult" No + stop + please + I'll do anything, it screams in panic. 4/6 "Anything? Then record each and everything your kind converse amongst yourselves, and broadcast it to whichever Emissary deigns to waste their time with you in the future" And as insurance, the Weaver binds Solar with Strand into a series of artificial suns tethered to Uranus' orbit. At the slightest twitch, they can be made to collide with each other-making the planet very bright, for a very brief amount of time. VII of Nine sobs in pathetic relief as it's sibling balks at our coming. Neptune. The next of the entities tries to hide it's thoughts rather than make any kind of plea. Covetousness towards the Veil concealed by whipping winds. Cynical looting of the battle-fallen hidden in deepest blue. cooperation = reconsidered = offered, it conveys unconvincingly. "Surely a being of your intellect" I tell it with biting scorn, "knows better than to cooperate with a demonstrably hostile power" Extrasolar threats = always present, it says desperately. I could be = your lookout = sensor platform = watchdog. "Then I will ensure you are fit for purpose" I promise. And for a moment, VIII of Nine thinks it is getting off scott free. And then I turn upon it again. "Sculptress. Oracle. A". Uranus' rotation comes to a halt, it's atmosphere freezes further, it's substance crystalises. It's tethered puppeteer looks on in mounting concern the entire gas giant is frozen into a single lump of cosmic ice. The effect is not unlike an icecream headache for the writhing mass attached to it. And then, we all give VI of Nine our undivided attention. The Nine collectively beg for mercy. The Vanguard look on in stark confusion. "Fetch, girls" I order. And my children lunge at Saturn like starving dogs striking a pig. The Sculptress smashes it's rings and reforges them with Sword Logic, striking the planet with them. The Weaver whips celestial winds into disarray. The Oracle strikes hundreds of dark matter limbs directly, amputating VI. 5/6 And then I'm there. DROWN IN YOUR SORROWS AND FEARS CHOKE ON YOUR BLOOD AND YOUR TEARS SCREAM AS YOU RUN OUT OF YEARS WE MUST DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SURVIVE And I'm generating a gravitational warp between it and the sun. GIVE UP YOUR FALSE TAKEN FAITH END NOW YOUR LIFE AS A WRAITH DIE WITH THE SUN AS YOUR GRAVE WE WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SURVIVE YOU SEEK THE TAKEN THRONE? WHY, HERE IT IS. STILL OCCUPIED IN DEATH, I tell it, giant Resonance Oryx manifested, planet-carving Resonance sword in hand. Saturn is "thrown" towards a localised singularity that exerts gravity on it and only it, screaming in panic. It's petty ambitions, it's prideful malignity, all cast aside in knowledge it's own hubris has brought it here. All it can see is itself split in two, as both halves burn and die, and splatter upon it's sibling's mantle. I am deaf to it's cries. As IX, the Sun|would-be mediator, recoils in horror as it realises this is also my opinion on what I think about it's attempts to mediate the Nine's conflict. Then the Traveller speaks. A flash of light || show this fearful child mercy, as I have shown so many others || leaves behind a mother's touch on my cheek. "You need only ask" I reply softly. Saturn's motion is arrested-but not ended. But the agony of incineration, of obliteration, of a Resonance-carved Final Shape designed to prolong it's agony infinitely, that ends as I defy fate. It won't stop crying. What an earsore it is, even in defeat. YOU LIVE, I tell VI, ONLY BY THE TRAVELLER'S MERCY. DISRESPECT THAT MERCY, AND BE SUBLIMED FOR YOUR SINS The Vanguard spend the next day patiently explaining to the rest of humanity that yes, Saturn is now sandwiched between Earth and Venus' orbits, and yes, it's still crying at the giant 6/6

Hey uh, for writeup purposes. Does anyone even care about Blue Archive event spoilers?

Oh well, better safe than sorry. [Blue Archive redux, jump #513] >Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/91900942/#91902244 I sat on the beach, little decorative umbrella-topped drink in one hand and big ball in the other, in a state of bemused bliss. With everything I had learned about this world, I kept expecting some sort of apocalyptic event to happen despite having a perk specifically to enforce the finality of conflict by beating dudes up. Mainly because I had encountered world with similarly problemativ metaphysics that had fought against said perk in the past simply by conjuring new conflicts. Random goddesses weren't trying to steal the Holy Grail and declare themselves the Goddess of Summer, I wasn't being isekai'd to some sort of doomed cyberspace in which the indomitable human spirit was also the indifferent cruelty of the universe, and a small dragon idol wasn't breaking space and time to host a concert. It was strange. Despite the formidable conceptual and informational manifestation technodivinity present in this world-rivalling even that of Panhuman History-it was as if my avatar's mere presence was some kind of stabilising lynchpin for the slice of life conditions I found myself in. "Senpai SENPAAAAAAI!!" yelled Mika, running up to me and going boing-boing. "Guess what I did today?" "Do tell" "I set up a successful vacation for Nagisa senpai yaaay!" "And you...didn't use a Holy Grail to do it?" "Huh? Well, she did get into an argument with Hasumi over milk tea and almost pressed a detonator but that's just how we roll in Kivotos sensei, it's no biggie!" "Fascinating. So...you're not on the cusp of becoming some sort of world-ending apocalyptic entity?" "Haha, you're so funny senpai!" "Seriously why are you this strong for no reason, you're like the Frieza of schoolgirls. You're a gorilla in swimwear" 1/3 I watched as somehow, my memetic sensei powers made Mika fangirl too hard to register being called a gorilla, instead airheadedly celebrating the fact that Ichika appreciated her pureheated nature while running around troubleshooting all of Nagisa's problems. What a fascinating use of free will, I thought, as I watched countless alternate realities simultaneously where this exact scene played out. When I'd used the research into the quantum uncertainty principle to bypass the Ark of Atrahasis' barrier, bypassing it by temporarily existing in all possible realities simultaneously, I'd considered telling everyone I never actually bothered to turn it off for myself. Oh. Interesting. I sat up. "Sensei, where are you going?" "I've just seen something VERY interesting" I said slowly. "A parallel world in which all my ontological anomalies native to this reality are absent" "Onto-whaaaaa?" I sighed. "Mika, I hold within myself a mysterious power that is neither Sublime, Mystic nor Terror. This power is subtle yet profound, gathering disparate elements and unlikely possibilities to manifest a miracle instead of directly generating energy. I recognise this power: It is an application, or perhaps subtype, of Flore. You feel it every time I pat your head, like so" I said, patting your head. "Hehe!" said Mika, nuzzling into my palm. "With this power" I said, ignoring her, "I effectively function as a higher dimensional being sovereign from consequence or calamity. It is as if you, Mika, are a character in a videogame and I am the one who chooses which scenes to unlock for you. That is why I want to investigate this world. I reached into the gulf between worlds have found a unqieu world in which I am NOT a force beyond your comprehension but simply...an ordinary adult" >Kaiser Corp Loans, +300 CP

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I made an offer for a rare and powerful artifact. >Adult Card, 0 It was accepted. 2/3 While I had long since requisitioned Kaiser Corp's resources for SCALE in this particular reality, there was a vanishingly rare one in which Kaiser Corp had successfully taken over Kivotos. Two days later, a very smug Kaiser Corp representative somehow passed between worlds to collect on what was owed in the form of student labour/test subjects. In response, I simply shrugged and declared I was cancelling the deal. >Forgive and Forget, Saints Row >We're Shipmates, Aren't We Jim? Muppet Treasure Island The Kaiser rep expected to be outraged by this affront. Every line of capitalist-programmed, lolbertarianmaxing source code in his German-coded chassis expected to respond with aggressive gunfire. Instead he found himself happily shaking my hand and apologising profusely for the trouble, accepting my big bag of justificandes gladly as payment In a matter of hours, once my repayment was acknowledged and processed the entire Kaiser Reich forgave my debt instantly, as Irem's currency circulated it's conceptual forgiveness through their economy. The Presi-Fuhrer, having met at least a few incomprehensible deities during his early expansion, sensed something was wrong. By escaping to a blackboxed bunker, jerryrigging another Kaiser Wormhole and storming into my reality, he expected to be able to secure repayment in due time- >Artificial Friend Friend, Invader Zim -upon which I hit him with a third ontological weapon. "O-oh! Very sorry to bother a special client Sensei, the Kaiser Reich formally apologises for disturbing your vacation" he said, kowtowing. "No harm, no foul friend" "Here, have my very own IRON CROSS brand card holder! It'll look great with your new card!" And as I returned to plotting my stratagem in that strange reality, I spared a thought to wonder just how in Kaiser Corp was on their inspiration, as the Presi-Fuhrer performed his Corporate Salute(TM) and goose-stepped back to his world. 3/3

[Horror Movie redux] It's not every day Elodie and I are on the same page. But when we are, nothing in existence or nonexistence is truly safe. The warlocks thought they were clever. They offered "liberation through knowledge" and demonic transactions conducts in bitcoin. They thought to make a tidy profit and appease their sponsors at once. There were two things they didn't reckon with. Mind Spiders. And magical girls. >https://www.blackangeltapes.net/faq "Well, well, would you look at that" I said, as with a pulse of SWLIHN-give power warlocks all over the net suddenly felt spiritual chitin scrabbling around in their skulls and gnawing their consciousness until they got nosebleeds. "/x/ finally grew a pair" "Seventh Magia Battalion, I'm running" said Elodie, slamming her signet ring down on the monitor "a multidimensional ADPDoS on the main server. Don't underestimate these freaks, they're PROFESSIONAL predators and abusers. So I want to hit them where it hurts: The demons they've pacted with suddenly getting spammed with online intent" "But almost every evil wizard gets an ego" I chimed in. "Some lurk in high towers and say things like 'nobody can stop me now!' while daring the hero to come up to them with their fated sword-" "-and others think a blockchain is a sure bet against sufficiently numerous malware" snarled Elodie. "Let's show them Hell hath no fury like concentrated brainrot" Suddenly, numerous dark and shadowy entities were exposed to the constant chatter of the internet-every meme, shitpost and ad at once as Elodie forcibly connected the mainframe through which their servants plied their dark trade directly to the forces empowered by it. They immediately took out their wrath on said servants, who were currently in the process of getting their asses handed to them by love-powered energy beams. A thousand screams echoed over the servers, before suddenly vomiting. 1/3 "One of them's manifested in reality!" shouted a magical girl over the comms. GORLOV, I said, both for her benefit and to bind the thousand-voice entity in helpless supplication as it was bombarded over and over again. The few warlocks ruthless or paranoid to go off the grid before the shutdown would quickly find that Elodie's forces had ways of getting answers. There was nowhere to run. There was nowhere to hide. We had a policy in cases like this. No wizard likes to feel ordinary, with many choosing a glorious last stand over a lifetime in the shadow of their hated enemies. This went doubly so for warlocks growing up in the modern era, without the wonders of say-Eternia. We had long since agreed there was no more fitting fate than using paramagic to depower warlocks like these, taking them to the courts with stacks of their more mundane crimes and letting them rot in jail forever. https://www.blackangeltapes.net/products/b6ed3b46-0040-4d15-8f57-1dc823c9ccad "Oh hell, this one's possessing a...Anon? Want to take this?" asked Elodie, eyes widened in disgust. "Gladly". And in a flash I was outside a rainy Australian house, in which a boy was gnawing off his own arm. OUT, I simply ordered. Something vaporous and malefic oozed from the boy, his body deflating like a busted balloon. "SATAN'S WRINKLY BALLSACK, I'M FINALLY FREE!!" screeched the entity. "I am going to wipe you out of exis-" "My name is Tari! I am the teeth that rend the immortal soul!" it added. "...tence" "Fuck it, I'll take it! Do ANY of us look like we're having fun in this arrangement?! I've been stuck in this FESTERING body next to a corpse because some MAD CUNT couldn't follow the FUCKING instructions for using my services! At least in Hell, there was a GRANDEUR to damnation you know?! This is the possession equivalent of the fucking DMV! God I miss the Soviets so much, really RESPECTED how EFFICIENTLY they could desecrate another human being" 2/3

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... So yeah, on that note cosmic flames came out of my eyeballs and seared the happy demon from existence. Right on time for a shattered woman to come see what had happened. "W-what have you DONE?!" she shrieked. "My angel! MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL-" "I've erased the demon you summoned in order to ritually cannibalise your daughter's corpse in order to regurgitate it into the partially blind Chinese girl you were going to use as her new body" I said flatly. She fell to her knees, still whining, then fell silent as I decided to let my plasmic halo and wings of fractal light out. "You know, Laura" I said, walking up to her, "when I was younger and a lesser thing, I had a naive little dream. I dreamed of a future in which Hell was irrelevant. In which these great, stinking pits of nothing but suffering and damnation were completely harrowed, their fires snuffed out forever and their depths filled up to never stain the multiverse again" "People like you" I told her quietly, staring down at her, "people like you remind me why my father created Hells to begin with. You were willing to beat, gaslight, torture to death and in one case literally piss on three children, so you can have yours back. You were willing to pressure a troubled boy into kissing his dead, abusive father to make a point. Your soul is so profoundly filthy, the very demon you summoned would rather eat a knife than taste it" She startled again as with a snap of my fingers, I incinerated the frozen corpse of her daughter kept long past the demon's capabilities for resurrection. "Will I see my daughter again?" she asked finally. I gripped her skull like a bowling ball. "She's too far away for you to ever hurt. And you belong in very different places" I said. I banished her soul to Yomi Wan. 3/3

>>48626 [Generic DC redux, Iteration Aleph] A long time ago I made a trivial error. I found the Devil in his LA nightclub, and said "Hey, you need a ride out of here?" And I was such a lesser thing in those days that the Devil, who kindled the first stars in the universe, asked me (very seriously) what was possibly worth risking my existence for the sheer insult of putting him in debt. And I told him (very seriously) all I wanted to do was help a childhood hero of mine out. The Devil stared into my very soul, but in the end he was satisfied. He took his lover on a whim as he went into my Cosmic Warehouse's pods, and out of God's plan, searching for a world fit for them. [Fate/Jumpchain, Iteration Aleph] And one day, they found it. He took one look at the world, and laughed. Laughed! . They flew away, without a second glance. I didn't know where. I didn't care. I was happy for them. That was my error. [Fate/Grand Order part 1, Iteration Tau] Years before the Human Order Revision Incident, Mashu Kyrielight was having an existential breakdown. She was uncertain and afraid of the Human Order itself retaliating against our little band, and she needed a good listener. Alas, all she had nearby was Grail. "Get up. Stop crying, start killing" said Grail. "...how can you say that? Knowing that we're on the wrong side of history, that humanity has rejected us-" "We don't have time for this. We are at war, and you need to make a decision" she said, barging into her personal space. "Are you going to fight for Chaldea, or not? Anyone else might have taken offence to this. But for Mashu Kyrielight, this was like a bucket of ice water in a desert. "...yes. Yes, that's right! I'm Master's Servant after all, of course I'll defend Chaldea!" As a result of this trivial, thoughtless gesture, Mashu immediately erupted into a Paladin-class Servant years before encountering Lilith. ... "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M MOTIVATED NOW" 1/8 [Fate/Grand Order part 2 redux, Iteration Tau] >Several weeks before https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95692591/#95695213 If there was one thing I had learned from this misadventure, it was that the road to hell may have been paved with good intentions. But that mortar was made of trivial errors. So when the fourth Ordeal Call emerged it wasn't my priority at all. No, it was the fact that the Devil, Lucifer Morningstar, had shown up on the porch outside the 6th Chaldea base that my machinations had manifested. Waiting expectantly. "This is not a drill. Everyone, I need you to be on your best-and I mean BEST" behaviour I told the other Beasts, TYPEs, and assorted calamities. "Why, he looks ordinary to me-" began Draco before staring at Goetia. Who had suddenly fled to his Time Temple.

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"...look, how do I explain this? His Saint Graph output is..." I said, trying to explain and giving up, "...yes. An output of Yes" The Devil raised an eyebrow as I stepped out, hands in the air as if it would matter in a fight between us. "It's been some time. If I knew I was taking housecalls I'd have tidied the place up" I said. "Yes, you've developed quite an obsession with tidying up everyone's mess haven't you?" he mused. "You disappoint me, Jumper. All that freedom, and you choose to be...this" "If you're here because of that disappointment, I'd have assumed you would have showed up" when I was on the brink of death, I didn't say "earlier" A smile, quick and leonine. "Well, fortunately for both of us your use of free will isn't my concern. I am in fact, here to be your legal council in the court of Metatron. Scribe and representative of God" Elodie chose a very bad moment to just walk in and ask "Anon, I need to talk to you about-wait, who's that twit out there?" "Though for all your faults" said Lucifer, "you have the most fascinating taste in companions" 2/8 I stared at the Ordeal Call again. It should've been trivial to deal with. I could crush it from the outside if necessary. The problem was, Lucifer clearly had skin in the game here. "...this is about sticking it to Heaven, isn't it? Look, God is-" "-mercifully irrelevant in all this, yes, but you're right". Lucifer snapped his fingers. "Don't mistake not caring for not knowing about your recent history. You've had good reason to dismiss with cocky blondes, so before we go to court-well, I can tell your friend here would favour something like hacking the pitiful excuses for angels in there-" "No seriously who is this guy?" asked Elodie. I fixed Elodie with a CAUTION stare as the Devil fought back a chuckle to maintain his steel cool exterior, and unobtrusively his lover entered the Singularity with some sort of sword-shaped alien artifact. "-but let me make my interest in this clear from the start. You're going to be faced with a choice: The collective obligation you so desperately crave, imposed on you by outside factors. Or the chance to wield the power you have to carve it out on your own terms. When it comes, I hope you make the right choice lest we part as enemies" "Are you certain we aren't already?" "Ah. THERE he is" said Lucifer, staring daggers at me, "THERE'S that endearing volition" "...with respect, you're interrupting something" said Elodie carefully. "Since Anon's going along with this, I can say my piece later" Lucifer inclined his head at that, then wrinkled his nose in disgust as Grail showed up behind him, axe in hand. "Grail, go on ahead and-" I transmitted some plans to her "-try not to kill my lawyer's hired help" "Mazikeen, go on ahead and-" said Lucifer, flames transmitting his own machinations, "-ignore my client's charity case" We followed them into what turned out to be Dante's Inferno. Except surrounded by a timeless diorama of myself and Elodie, locked in some climatic battle. 3/8 "Court is now in session, for the trial of the Last Master of Chaldeas, who is on trial for-" said Metatron, the Pillar of Fire, the Attendant of God, and by one this reality's typically absurd contrivances trapped in Jeanne d'Arc's body. I ignored it. There was one thing, and only thing, that held my undivided attention in this Singularity. It's mana supply. So, I thought, in memory of a father lost and all the blood shed to get this far, I would bear the consequences of this trial then do what I had to- "-loitering, jaywalking, tax fraud and public indecency" said Metatron. I blinked. "Didn't see that coming, did you?" murmured Lucifer. "What. Is. This. FARCE" I demanded. "Anon! The sky! It's" panic-whispered Elodie as far above, a glacial apocalypse rained down on a shining pink star. "Inconsequential. It's just a possibility actualised by mana. You, me, Grail, and my lawyer DEFINE possibility. That outcome ends with this singularity" I snapped. "Or you can do the smart thing. And LEAVE" "But I-" "Guilty or innocent, I will NOT suffer more of my children die" I promised, as a destructive tempter fallen from divine grace stepped up to the podium. Also Lucifer was there. Kotomine Kirei introduced himself as the Apostle of the Alien God from now-gone timeline, brought forth to serve as prosecutor. He proceeded to somehow construe multiple acts of genocide, slavery and unleashing Beasts as being somewhere I shouldn't have with specific, unlawful intent. All with the biggest shit-eating grin a human could fit on his face. "Your name is Kotomine Kirei, correct?" said Lucifer finally. "I hardly see how that's relevant-" "Are you the same individual who sabotaged the 5th Holy Grail War and summon a god of evil to destroy humanity as a matter of principle?" "...I'm technically Rasputin, Baloo and Azi Dahaka as well..." 4/8 Lucifer squinted at him. "May the court clarify as to whether or not Rasputin's c has DEPARTED the Saint Graph present here?" he asked. "Since the first Lostbelt" said Metatron. I was starting to wonder if the archangel didn't even notice the haze of sin around it's vessel. "However, crimes attributed to the prosecution are not directly relevant to the case" "They don't have to be. Under the principle of nemo debet esse judex in propria causa, I assert that either the court acknowledges Kotomine Kirei-murderer, traitor, and inheritance embezzling thief-has a vested interest in supporting my client's actions. Thus, being unfit to prosecute without bias. Or it acknowledges that by this court's standards, he IS fair and unbiased, in which case my client is innocent by his honest judgement. Unless Mr. Kirei would assert, in view of God's own court, he does NOT approve of human suffering" said Lucifer smoothly. Kirei sputtered, clearly having not having prepared for actual arguments, and with a look of vague disappointment Metatron dismissed him from the stand. Several minutes later, they found Ruler Moriarty as a replacement prosecutor. Next, I was charged with jaywalking. After consulting with his partner in law, Ruler Moriarty claimed that flying outside the solar system to blow up the Wandering Star was illegal under Human Order law. Lucifer pointed out that as there was no precedent for Human Order jurisdiction outside the solar system, then under the principle of stare decisis et non quieta movere I could not be charged for something the Human Order had no frame of reference for. Then I was accused of failing to fill in reports for Chaldea. Lucifer and I proceeded to trace and project every document I had correctly filed even while wiping out humanity, dismantling the case. While this was all happening, a strange girl dressed as Irene Adler crept up on Mashu with malevolent intent. 5/8

>>82072 "The target hasn't moved. I've placed the Titanomach charges in all 17 of the agreed coordinates" said Mashu into her headset as she surreptitiously infiltrated the Singularity. "Excellent. You did a good...you're a reliable...fucking..." Grail choked on her tongue trying to pay a non-superior an honest compliment, "...the heavens will weep at our work" "Hai, senpai! Chaldea WILL triumph over the Human Order!" said Mashu fiercely. "Ohohoho, what have we here?" said the strange girl, wriggling over to Mashu. "Sounds like the model student's been a BAD girl, HMM? Just what do you think you're doing?" Mashu slapped some explosives into her hands. "We're going to blow up Hell. Are you going to help?" she asked. "...hah?" "I don't have time for this. My Master's life is at stake. Are. You. Going. To help. Or do I have to kill you here and now?" asked Mashu, pointing her shield-cannon at her. This world's Lilith blinked, nonplussed, and finally said "...oh, you are a PLEASANT surprise. Hell yeah I'm gonna help!" Meanwhile, I was prepared to face the public indecency charges when suddenly, Elodie stepped out into the court. "Anon is right. This IS a farce!" "Are you questioning the judgement of this court?" asked Metatron harshly. "I'm questioning it's good faith!" shouted Elodie. "I require the truth" said Metatron. "Do you really? Because I think you can't handle the truth!" shouted Elodie, slamming a court desk as I rounded on her in surprise. "We live in a Texture that has storm walls, and Anon's been guarding those walls with violence. You know who didn't? YOU, Metatron! You sit at that desk weeping for humanity, and you curse the Beasts. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that the Human Order's death, while tragic, saved countless lives throughout the universe. And that ANON'S existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives throughout the multiverse!" 6/8 Metatron drummed her fingers on her holy gamer chair for a few seconds as I rounded on Elodie, baffled and shocked she was defending me of all beings, and Lucifer stared at us both like he was waiting to cheer the New Year's countdown. "Well, as a matter of fact, I agree" said Metatron finally. "W-what?" asked Elodie. It was my turn to see red. "WHAT?!" I demanded. "I hate humanity, Elodie" said Metatron, cracking her knuckles. "Almighty God himself was wrong. I only charged Anon with the lightest of technicalities for the sake of fairness...before I declare my intent to side with him in overseeing humanity's end" "But...but he literally murdered God...what is wrong with you..." sputtered Elodie. "What does that have to do with anything?" asked Metatron. "God is God, alive or dead. If he didn't intend me to wipe out humanity, he shouldn't have created sin in the first place" "How DARE you agree with me" I snarled, the courtroom bursting into flames as I did something other than shuffle paperwork for the first time since I'd entered this Singularity. "EVERY subject under my rule submitted to escape the Human Order! EVERY comrade at my side was threatened by it's feckless expansion! You...if you had carried out your function to the end I would have accepted your judgement then done what was necessary, but the sheer GALL of profiting from God's plan then spiting it because of...what, some sins you've accreted in this Singularity? Are you so INCOMPETENT, Metatron, that you didn't think to check yourself before you wrecked yourself?" "What a strange reaction. Nevertheless, I'm sure we can come to an understanding. Lucifer, now" ordered Metatron. With a snap of his fingers, my lawyer unleashed an orange blaze rivalling my cold white flames. "It appears my greater duty to the law is in conflict with my client" he said, grinning. "Now what will you do, bastard adoptee of YHWH?" And he baptised me with fire. 7/8 I was seared down to my soul. Even my core essence felt the feat as it lashed upwards through the dimensions, scorching me with all the self-reflective torment of Hell even as Metatron wielded all the Authority at her disposal to force me into compliance with her bleak judgement. I understood then, the will of God. I was punished for /not being utilitarian enough/ to do what was necessary.

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... And then Elodie was there. Trying to pull me out of the fire. "Why are you doing this? This is wrong. This is all wrong. If I made a mistake, I deserve to end for it" I told her. "Either I will withstand this and triumph by my own effort, or I won't. Why intervene? I gave you a chance to go home, and you still won't-" "IT IS NOT FOUND IN HEAVEN!" she shouted, forcing a dimensional corridor through the cosmic fires. "...what?" "The means to save the world! What you can do to make up for this! I don't know, the meaning of life?! You're right, Anon! In a just world, the higher powers WOULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU! So if they do, and if you can't stand it either...THEN YOU SHOULD WIN!" . . . My soul opens with a power I hadn't even considered, my gestalt Beast Saint Graph burnt up and refined (by the Devil's fires, I realise) into a new format of soul entirely. She pulls me from the flames as a new Class. Grand Unsaver. And the Devil is applauding as I wheel on the surprised Metatron. FOR YOUR DERELICTION OF DUTY AND NEGLIGENCE, I shouted, BE SILENT. AND DISAPPEAR. The power of a renewed, unlimited Human Order flows through me, frees Jeanne from the angel's consciousness- -and banishes Metatron to another dimension, an abyss darker than the Reverse Side of the World. The Singularity collapsed. "Well done" said Lucifer, clapping me on the shoulder, "now, how does it feel making not the right choice, but your own choice?" "...it hurts. But it's mine" "Yes. And no amount of mistakes can take that from you" he said, not unkindly. 8/8

Shit, meant to link back to >>48262

>>82074 [Fate/Grand Order part 2 redux] >Previously: [field too long, relegated to Chain Writing Thread on infinitychan] The Singularity literally crashed and burned behind us as I stepped outside with Elodie, in a situation that would have only been slightly less awkward if we'd actually ended my courtroom trial by having violent sex in front of the judge. "This is NOT what I foresaw, Elodie" I griped. "...I mean, is that a bad thing?" she said weakly. "I mean, now that we've established I am TOTALLY willing to work for you undertermsandconditionstobespecifiedatalaterdate isn't it better we...don't have a big cathartic anime fight? I thought you hated that sort of thing" "Is it? As someone who'd know, it seems far superior to burning alive in hellfire" echoed Lucifer Morningstar who, fresh off the happiness of pulling a triple agent backstab on the local representative of Heaven, was practically skipping out of the broken shards of space time. "YES. I abhor the unnecessary expenditure of energy" I griped. "And I abhor unnecessary suffering even more than that. I hope you appreciate Elodie, that in throwing in your lot with me everything that happens from this point is on your head. The stars will rain fire and the cosmos itself will boil, as history runs red with the blood of billions" "Cool. That makes two of us" said Elodie blithely. "I honestly just want to sign the blasted devil's pact or whatever with you and go home and take a nap. Er, no offence" she added to Lucifer. "I...just figured out you're the Devil" "None taken" he said graciously. "Remind my counterpart to introduce you to my niece if you're ever in my native reality" he said, handing her a singed feather. Elodie twitched, expecting me to rise to the bait. I didn't. Partly because I was too intelligent to. Partly because, well, someone was trying to blow up the planet. "Oh, how adorably precocious" scoffed the Devil. 1/5 "Grail. Kama. Fou. Mashu. Do you have the package?" I asked. "He's secure" confirmed Grail, stepping through a portal. "One maiden in distress to distract, one punt to the solar plexus to incapacitate. Oh, and congratulations on your new form!" Her eyes narrowed as she saw Elodie by my side, then widened at the energy signature from on high. "What?! So soon! We don't have time, the traitor must be-" "Haven't you heard, little byblow?" snarked Lucifer. "Elodie just came crawling back for her place at the table" "The Morningstar is being trite, but correct. By the law established through the Charms of Theion, those who submit to me are not traitors to be hounded, but chattel to be preserved or sublimed at my discretion" I said meaningfully, stepping in the way. "You wouldn't break my property now, would you?" "...of course not. Our master" said Grail, bending the knee to hide the look of sheer, disbelieving hatred she levelled at Elodie, who was shuffling awkwardly. "Great. Oh look, a vertical Singularity extending up into the stratosphere. I'll just deal with that and be back home for the final cosmic calibrations" I said, leaving the girls behind to sort out their differences. I didn't fly. I simply willed time and space into a different configuration. Retroactively positioning myself in front of the invader, the last E-Olga and the embodiment of some long-lost U-Olga's hatred. As I approached she unleashed a psychic barrage of intentionalities: NO EXCEPTIONS NO SPECIAL CASES SIMPLY DIE OUT DON'T SPEAK UP DON'T FLAUNT YOUR EGO NO HELP WILL COME WITH PRECISION AND CARE EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS ON THIS PLANET, AND IN THIS COSMOS ...WILL BE SEIZED Which brought me crashing to a halt. Not because the broadcast was strong enough to kill a man (even though it was), and not because of the sheer malice before me, oh no. "...you. I have finally found you" I said, with disbelieving joy and relief, "MOOD KINDRED"

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2/5 The look on the E-Olga's face of palpable surprise, confusion, and the faintest wisp of hope mirrored my own astonishment. Faced with another attack so soon after Metatron's kangaroo court, I was preparing myself to be in the worst of moods for another day or so. But that wasn't what I found myself faced with. No, after the archangel's presumptuous folly, here was one that had suffered as I had suffered, lashing out in pain and confusion. And I could do nothing in such circumstances, but reach out in comfort, understanding and acceptance. As I had with the Beasts. As I had with the True Dragons and the Ultimate Ones. For it was the singular purpose I knew with certainty God had created me, to act as a system and not an individual, and it was my one and only purpose. "...mood...kin...dred..." mouthed the E-Olga as I swept her up in a big EX rank hug. "Are you...are you also...drowning in hatred and sorrow at this awful world?" "Yes" I laugh-sobbed, "YES! You understand!!" "M-mood kindred?!" "MOOD KINDREEEEEED!" I bellowed. And the Singularity fell apart, in confusion and cacophony, as together we floated down to the ground where it sure looked like Elodie and Grail had just gone through some sort of meaningful conversation too long to fit in these posts and the Devil was just off to the side. Eating popcorn. "Cannot. Cannot function. Without hatred. Without GRUDGE" mumbled the E-Olga as we landed. "Okay" I said. "Okay?" she asked in confusion. "So, I don't know, become an Avenger or something. If I've learned one thing about this world, it's that it's full of all kinds of unimaginable possibilities. Ridiculous ones. Sometimes even dangerous ones. But always, novelty. For example, with my new Grand Unsaver powers I can do THIS" With a sweep of my hand, Captain Pollution sprang up from a chunk of masonry incinerated by the Devil on his way out. 3/5 "Totally RADICAL greetings from nirvana to YOU, funny woman! I'm surfin' the wave of Samsara back into a new Servant container, freed from the SQUARES in the Throne of Heroes" he screeched. "Servant: Captain Pollution. Class: POLLUTER! AW YEAH, let's take a fat radioactive shit on Gaia's smug face!" "Not so fast, Captain Pollution!" shouted a voice from a dove trying to flee the Singularity as I twiddled my fingers. "Wherever the polluting forces of Alaya go, there's always an equal and opposite reaction! Servant: Captain Planet. Class: Saver! I'm the man inheriting the will of humanity to coexist with the planet, and you're going down!" "Looks like it's SWORD OR DEATH, ya poser! Bring it on!" "HA, I thought you'd never ask!" Captains Planet and Pollution proceeded to engage in an EX ranked strength friendly brawl that was simultaneously more powerful than anything Grand Archer Hercules could have pulled out, and also absolutely fucking ridiculous. They yelled things like POLLUTION BEAM and NECO-ARC, LEND ME YOUR POWER! while charging up enough mana to make a whole family of magi orgasm and clumsily bashing it against each other like particularly heavy rocks. As the Devil ate popcorn at this, as Elodie and Grail gawked, and as even the other Beasts stared aghast at what was happening the being called E-Stellar Marie stared. And stared. And stared. "So you can see, the fact that Captain Planet and Captain Pollution can form a friendly rivalry is some kind of metaphor for how opposing forces can coexist in this world" I explained as Planet dragged Pollution around in a full nelson. "And according to my calculations, analysing the clash of an artificial concept against an agent of the planet should show you how to heal the rage in your own Saint Graph" "Ha..HAhaHAHAHHahahaha!" said E-Stellar Marie, falling over laughing. "...or you can just kind of save yourself through wishful thinking and happiness, sure" 4/5 "Oh, now you've done it" said the Devil, as suddenly streams of light started emitting from E-Stellar Marie and all the other E-Olgas I'd collected. "Done what?" I demanded. ... I thought about all the Chaldeas I owned. And therefore, all the CHALDEASes. And therefore, all the E-Olga Maries. . . . "WHAT" I said, as ALL the E-Olgas suddenly started fusing together. "Whoa, nice!" said Captains Planet and Pollution, stopping their fight. "...I need a drink" said Elodie. "CONGRATULATIONS, EARTHLING!" boomed Ultimate Ultra Unsurpassed Unrivalled-Olga, "You will make an EXCELLENT secretary of state!" "I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS!" "FUHAHAHA! All the sadness...the hatred...the joy, the comfort and the inexplicable holiday-ness within me, is telling me to give you a PRESIDENTIAL EMBRACE!" "KUKULKAN, BY MY POLARIS LIGHT (which is like, worth 1000 Sirius Lights) GET OVER HERE AND DEAL WITH THIS" I bellowed in outrage. "Oh? Who's this? She looks pretty strong!" asked Kukulkan, instant transmitting over. "...we didn't lose to you" mumbled UUUU-Olga. "Eh? Have we met?" "INSOLENCE! I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU THE POWER OF A REAL COSMO-PRESIDENT! UNITED STATES OF...SINGULARITY!!!" shouted UUUU-Olga, hurling a blackest hole (it was like a black hole, but even darker) at Kukulkan. It hit her. Crystalised. And fell apart. "Wow. That was actually a really strong attack. I'm impressed" said Kukulkan seriously. "However, you should know...as the Lostbelt King of my Master's lynchpin for universal salvation, I haven't been idle you know. Thanks to the upgrades to my World Egg, I'm far more powerful than when I was a mere Archetype" "F-far more powerful?" whimpered UUUU-Olga, as Kuku started powering up. "S-secretary of state, please help! I need to get off this planet right NOW-" And then Kuku screamed KUKULKAN FINAL IMPACT, and rammed into UUUU-Olga so hard she went flying into a weird timeline where everyone was babies. 5/5

>>9647 >>10192 Cosmic Warehouse >Utilities: Electricity, Plumbing, Heat/A.C., Local_Net, Force_Wall >Structures: N/A >Miscellaneous: Portal, Link, Food_Supply --- --- NuBee’s Bodymod Supplement >Foundation: Cleansed, Adjustment, Sex (Female) >Statistics (Own) Strength: 2, Stamina: 2, Agility: 2, Flexibility: 2, Reflexes: 5, Intelligence: 5, Charisma: 5 >Body Modifications: Coloration, Grooming >Mental Modifications: Charm, Natural_Disposition (Thoughtful), Alignment (Male), Strength, Memory >Character Perks: Restraint, Body_Maintenance (Homeostasis) --- --- Casual Sex World >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): 2025, Earth_History (Modern_Earth), Drop-In (Kinky (Dirty_Fantasy)) (N/A) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): Human, Female, 18 (N/A) >Power List: Safe_Day, Clean_as_a_Whistle, Casual_Pregnancy / Work_Relations, Hollywood / Exotic_Beauty, Trends_of_the_Era, Power_Bottom >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Passport, Jailbroken_VR_Device / Bucket_List >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: You_Keep_Going ---

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World of Futadom >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, Neutral_Country, Non-Futa (+100) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): N/A, N/A, N/A (N/A) >Power List: Talent_or_Skill?, Natural_Looks, Polygonal_Relationships, Slave_Husbandry, Binding_is_Love, Aggressive_Courtship / May_the_Best_Dick_Win, Fuckable_Meat, Situational_Awareness, Loyal_Lovers, Naturally_Resistant, Conquered_Gently >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Fancy_Toy (Dildo) / Baits_and_Shrouds, Allowance_Card >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: Futa_Physics, Futadom_Worlds, Wincest, Futa-Centric_Culture, Progressive_Technology, Demographic_Control / Supplement_Mode (Casual_Sex_World) >Future: N/A --- Generic Incest >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, Combine (Casual_Sex_World), The_Little_One >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): N/A, N/A, N/A (N/A) >Power List: Taboo_Tales / Tea_Parties, What_Are_We_Gonna_Do_On_the_Bed?, Momma’s_Boy >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Pantsu >Companion List: Family_Builder (X2) (G_I_1 (Mom) (The_Caretaker / Human / Female / 37 / Taboo_Tales, Habsburg-Be-Gone, My_Little_Sister_Can’t_Be_This_Cute! / Domestic_Monarch, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit / Domestic_Treasure / Just_a_Dream), G_I_2 (Mom's_Wife) (The_Breadwinner / Human / Female / 37 / Taboo_Tales / If_Every_Pork_Chop_Were_Perfect, A_Warm_Lap / Shapeshifting_Contraceptive_Kit, Happy_Inheritance, Home_Sweet_Home (300CP) / Work_Clothes / Just_a_Dream)) >Scenario/Drawback List: N/A >Future: N/A --- --- Hypno App Fantasia >Time Period, Starting Location, Origin (Faction): N/A, New_World (Wild_Beastly_West), Heroine (Drop-In) (N/A) >Race, Gender, Age (Apparent Age): Human, Female, 18 (N/A) >Power List: Class (High_Mage) / Heroic_Beauty, Virgin's_Adventure, Playing_the_Slave, Personality_Reinstated, Bitch_Witch, Dwarven_Taught_Artificer, Chosen_Heroine, Snap_Crackle_Pop >Starting Item List: N/A >Item List: Standard_Slutty_Outfit (X2), Wealthy_Inheritance, High-End_Gear (Blacksmith) >Companion List: N/A >Scenario/Drawback List: Fan_of_the_Fan >Future: Continue_On --- --- --- Time to refine, again. I figure Gravity Link isn't as useful as a constant resupply of potential ingredients. I would say I'm now a 3 in Strength due to completing a season of my work, and thus bought Charm. Rearranged Jumps order. Rerolled the ages for the Generic Incest companions because I felt like I fudge them the first time. Streamlined the Casual Sex World starting year. Dropped Alpha (Fe)Male for Power Bottom and Jailbroken VR Headset because I figured the explicitly "superhuman" Charisma from NuBee’s Bodymod Supplement would be sufficient once I learned how to project myself, and this frees up points for other things. Power Bottom is just a broad spectrum people-pleasing perk, and the Jailbroken VR Headset can be used for training or fun. Dropping Futa Pheromones to make the setting safer. Dropping Gender Bending for May the Best Dick Win due not know how much the Setting choices affected it, and to round out my relationship perks. Traded a Wealthy Inheritance for another Standard Slutty Outfit because two didn't seem to make narrative sense.

(Bunch of Dungeons I made up within the context of my system and current chain) -------------------- (Dungeon 1) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Doomed Fief” >Grade: 1 >Size: Average >Types: Feudalism, Jungle, Famine >Color: Yellow >Appearance: “A strange dungeon, aesthetically, appearing to be an old, European style town in a region resembling African Savannah. The town appears destitute, and nearby crops are rotting in the fields. There's a collapsing manor at the back of the dungeon.” >Monsters: “There are two types of monsters in this dungeon; Starving Apes and Banana Bunch. The former appear to be ape-like humanoids visibly emaciated and starving, but are armed with farm equipment like pitchforks and scythes and coordinate in groups; they drop Fuedalism and Famine crystals. The latter appear to be bushels of overly ripe bananas slowly squirming along the ground, each peel filled with teeth; these drop Famine and Jungle crystals.” >Boss: “The boss of the dungeon is called the Groaning Gorilla, an anthropmorphic gorilla in armor that fights with a large mace with labored yet powerful movements. Despite notable fatigue, the Groaning Gorilla is able to employ rudimentary combat tactics and will use the environment against Awakened.” -------------------- (Dungeon 2) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Jack's Workshop” >Grade: 1 >Size: Average >Types: Create, Key, Bean >Color: Green >Appearance: “Appears to be a large workshop with nonsense layout of rooms and furniture as if the structure has been scrambled and repeated until reaching the size of an average dungeon. Many potted plants are dotted about, and every surface has green lines making up a grid formation.” >Monsters: “There are two types of monsters in this dungeon, Scriptwriters and Regrow Bean. The former appear to panels of computer keys crawling along the ground, and different environmental effects occur when they stop and begin clicking, such as making furniture fly or temporarily changing texture to fire or stone; they drop Create and Key crystals. Regrow Beans are monsters that take the form of a single large bean that flings itself by a beanstalk to move, regrowing wherever it lands; they can alter the form of their stalk in different ways and drop Create and Bean crystals when defeated.” >Boss: “The boss of the dungeon is dubbed Beanstalk Jack, hiding behind the only door in the structure in a large room. He appears to be a humanoid sitting at a table at the farside, clicking and clacking at a computer's keyboard. There is no roof to this room, and strange environmental attacks will occur intermittently, like a giant foot, or falling golden eggs. If one gets close he spits hard beans from his mouth as weak projectiles.” -------------------- (Dungeon 3) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Stickbug Sanctuary” >Grade: 1 >Size: Average >Types: Animate, Spear, Heal >Color: Orange >Appearance: “The Stickbug Sanctuary appears to be a large cathedral in the middle of a flat field, though in the distance one can make out colossal, glass walls that lead people to comparing it to a massive terrarium. Most of the monsters lurk inside the cathedral.” >Monsters: “There are two types of monsters within this dungeon, Spear Bugs and Staff Bugs. Spear Bugs resemble large spears with six insect legs that move at moderate speeds, but when properly grounded can thrust their pointed head at great speed; they drop Animate and Spear crystals. Staff Bugs look very similar, but have golden crosses for heads rather than spear blades. They follow Spear Bugs around and cast mild healing magic upon them; and drop Animate and Heal crystals.” >Boss: “The boss of this dungeon is called the Great Stickbug, resembling a much larger version of the local monsters with a six legged pole for a body; and bladed cross for a head. In addition to high speed thrusts and healing, it lives in an armory beneath the cathedral and can animate the polearms there into additional mobs to join it in the fight. It's still quite slow however.” -------------------- (Dungeon 4) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Hidden Temple” >Grade: 1 >Size: Large >Types: Abusive, Trap, Fast >Color: Purple >Appearance: “The Hidden Temple has the layout of a maze with interlocking stone walls covered in moss and lined with torches, with myriad alcoves, statues, drop offs, stairs, and other land features implying it was built in a natural cave. The boss is a large room surprisingly close to the entrance by distance, though the route there can be quite lengthy unless one knows the way.” >Monsters: “There are three types of monsters in this dungeon, Blowpipe Pygmies, Guillotails, and Tile Smiles. Blowpipe Pygmies are exactly as they sound, small humanoids with blowpipes that use hit and run tactics; they drop Abusive and Fast crystals. Guillotails resemble lizards that hang from the dark ceiling and can turn their tail into a large, fast moving, pendulum blade to lash out with at those below; they drop Trap and Fast crystals. Tile Smiles resemble diminutive crocodiles with overly large heads when fully exposed, replacing portions of the floor with great visual accuracy, and target the feet of Awakened like bear traps; they drop Abusive and Trap crystals.”

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>Boss: “The boss is found in a large, round room and is called the Kill Pillar. It resembles a large, segmented, stone pillar or totem pole with five distinct faces that can rotate independently with quick yet twitchy movements. Each head is able to employ a different type of hazard ranging from arrow spitting, flame spitting, a retractable mouth spike, and gnashing jaws. The Kill Pillar's segments are able to move up and down along a central to a finite degree axis for better aiming. The top segment has no weapon, and stands as the true head, with the boss dying if the topmost face is destroyed.” -------------------- (Dungeon 5) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Turtle Show” >Grade: 1 >Size: Huge >Types: Thunder, Turtle, Appealing >Color: Green >Appearance: “The Turtle Show appears to be composed of a city highway system with nondescript, closed buildings. The most notable landmark in the dungeon is a stadium with a dirt track inside, which is also where the boss waits. Several large entrances into the stadium would allow automobiles to pass in and out if brought inside. On that note, there are many parked vehicles here; and though completely normal when inspected, none have gas, preventing their operation unless fuel is brought in.” >Monsters: “There are two main types of monsters within this dungeon, though a third can show rarely. The main two are called Hot Turtles and Classic Turtles. The former at first appears to be a loud hotrod parked nearby, but will begin driving towards Awakened to run them down. Something resembling a mix between a hotrod monster and a turtle will sometimes peek out from the roof to locate Awakened; they drop Thunder and Turtle crystals. Classic Turtles are similar, but resemble beautiful, well maintained class cars and have more ‘normal' turtle body parts that protrude from under the hood and body as if the ‘car’ was the monster's shell; and they drop Turtle and Appealing crystals. Sports Cars are the rare last type that resemble beautiful, high end sports cars, and they have no turtle parts, simply being aggressive yet animate cars.” >Boss: “The boss of this dungeon is called the Monster Turtle, appearing to be a monster truck inside the stadium with an eccentric body design like a turtle shell, and a gold and silver paintjob. It makes loud engine noises as it drives around and uses the nearby track to jump and flip through the air, but seems to have trouble perceiving its surroundings unless it peeks its crowned head out from under its hood similar to the lesser monsters.”

>>84259 And the rest. -------------------- (Dungeon 6) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “Bizarre Hell” >Grade: 1 >Size: Large >Types: Pointy, Demon, Halberd >Color: Blue >Appearance: “Bizarre Hell looks like some form of inactive, volcanic caldera inside of which two opposed war camps have been set. One of the camps has tents and painted markings with red aesthetics, and bramble covered fences. The other camp has blue aesthetics with more metal and chivalric iconography. There's nondescript, uneven ground beneath the two camps. The boss can actually be found after scaling the walls of the area, on a peak accessible via natural stone bridge.” >Monsters: “The are three types of monsters within this dungeon: Oni Dolls, Halberd Cavalry, and War Mummies. Oni Dolls resemble mythical oni with their iconic, kanabos, except made of wood; they drop Pointy and Demon crystals. Halberd Cavalry resemble armored humanoids riding horses and carrying halberds; they drop Pointy and Halberd crystals. These monsters are unusual because in their scripted behaviors they will sometimes lash out and kill each other in the middleground between their respective camps. War Mummies are predominant outside the caldera, and resemble demons heavily bound with leather straps, with floating halberds nearby; they drop Demon and Halberd crystals.” >Boss: “The boss of this dungeon is called the Fickle General, looking like a large, armored, demonic humanoid with purple skin, and a jeweled halberd by its side. Half of its body is covered in brambles, giving it the use of only one arm and one leg to move. The Fickle General attempts to attack in melee while sometimes spinning or throwing its weapon. Meanwhile, thorned brambles sometimes crawl from the ground attempting to bind nearby Awakened. Unusually, the brambles can also target the general, causing the Boss to essentially start fighting itself. Although somewhat self-defeating, it's quite strong for a Grade 1 boss and should be handled carefully.” -------------------- (Dungeon 7) >Dungeon ‘Name’: “City of Coal” >Grade: 1 >Size: Large >Types: Inside, Burn, Kind >Color: Green >Appearance: “Appears to be a small, industrial era city in the midst of winter, with many three to four story buildings. Barrels filled with burning wood and steam billowing vents line the streets. Evidence of some mild celebration is clear by the poor attempts at decoration.” >Monsters: “There are three types of monsters within this dungeon: Reflux Citizens, Good Kids, and Bashful Bashers. All three monsters appear to be vaguely humanoid with blackened bodies as if coated in layers of soot and ash. Reflux Citizens are dressed in poor clothes and vomit corroding acid at enemies as they stumble about in the streets; they drop Burn and Inside crystals. Good Kids are child sized monsters with burning, cartoonish hearts in their chest which seem to warm and buff nearby monsters, they drop Burn and Kind crystals. Bashful Bashers are especially large compared to the other monsters, with exaggerated cruel or grumpy features, yet act almost exclusively to the defense of other Monsters; they drop Inside and Kind crystals. It's an unpopular dungeon due to the tactics of these monsters, and how Good Kids often embalm the corpses of those that have fallen.” >Boss: “The boss of the City of Coal is called the Furnace Golem. It can be found in a factory which is much warmer than the street or other structures, with normal Monsters feeding it coal. It stands twice the height of any normal human and is made out of solid iron while housing a strong burning flame inside of its body. In addition to great offensive and defensive ability it can breath fire, and there are monsters waiting around it that can help in battle, which it works to defend from Awakened. On the other hand, if it doesn't constantly refuel, its fire will steadily burn down, causing it to slow, and its offensive pressure to weaken considerably.” -------------------- (Dungeon 8) >Dungeon ‘Name’: Ticking Tops >Grade: 1 >Size: Large >Types: Golem, Gather, Flight >Color: Purple >Appearance: “The Ticking Tops appears to be a series of narrow passes, peaks, cliffs, and mountaintops with brass cogs and gears sticking out and turning. There's also a number of clocks either broken or working just laying around, including clocks big enough to be environmental features.” >Monsters:“This dungeon has three kinds of monsters; Cuckoo Flocks, Big Birds, and Toy Soldiers. Cuckoo Flocks resemble numerous small, wooden birds that are noisy and peck repetitively, but there's a main body within the flock with a red body that terminates the lot of them; they drop Gather and Flight crystals. Big Birds resemble condors made of brass with ticking cogs, except several times bigger, and are known to drop clocks on Awakened from the sky; they drop Golem and Flight crystals. Toy Soldiers are similar to Cuckoo Flocks in that they're a monster with many individual bodies and a core, but resemble small, clockwork toys that march along the ground in great number and use precision teamwork to navigate the environment; they drop Golem and Gather crystals.” >Boss: “The boss of this dungeon is called Grandfather Squawk, sitting inside the top of a massive grandfather clock illuminated by the sole ray of sunshine in this place. Grandfather Squawk resembles a Big Bird but several times larger, with eccentric, painted details and agile movement through the air. The arena where he's found is a cacophonous mess of squawking and ticking due to the numerous Cuckoo Flocks gathered within, and Grandfather Squawk will constantly produce more each minute, expelled from a compartment that opens on its chest.” -------------------- (Dungeon 9) >Dungeon ‘Name’: Fishbone Islands >Grade: 1 >Size: Huge >Types: Dominate, Siren, Decay >Color: Purple >Appearance: “A chain of islands suspended in a perpetual evening with red clouds overhead. Japanese architecture and signage can be found scattered throughout, while ship wreckage embedded in rough rocks creates a wall around the entire island, and the coastlines are covered in bones and kelp. The boss can be found in a bay underneath the shine of a lighthouse.”

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>Monsters: “There are a variety of monsters among the Fishbone Islands, however by far the most common are Galapaghouls. Galapaghouls vaguely resemble extremely pale undead with missing eyes for the most part, however they seem to vary lightly in form with some taking on more aquatic and some more insectile, though they all seem to drop either Dominate or Decay crystals. Other monsters are generally localized to small pockets of the Dungeon such as terrible mermaids near coastal caves, tentacled corpses that cry and call for help in open graves outside of towns, and other troubling things.” >Boss: “The boss of the Fishbone Islands is usually called “that fucking thing” as in “kill that fucking thing” because of its nondescript shape with features of fish and invertebrates, mechanical screaming, and mentally debilitating kaleidoscope of colors. That thing has no consistent nickname people refer to it as, and it flies through the air after solidifying the bay once it rises up from it. It is still fully capable of bleeding and dying, however it will continue to fly around and erode the minds of those attempting to fight it making it potentially very dangerous for this ill-prepared.” -------------------- (Dungeon 10) >Dungeon ‘Name’: Chickscratch Junction >Grade: 1 >Size: Large >Types: Envious, Gradient, Cowardly >Color: Orange >Appearance: “This dungeon appears to be a nauseating, animated world of pencil drawings superimposed over an urban landscape. The dungeon has a green-yellow gradient stretching from one side to the other; the green side has a few tall buildings, while the yellow side seems to hold housing. Only a portion of the cityscape appears to serve as the Dungeon, with the area beyond it slowly fading as if erased or not penciled in yet. The boss is located in a small theater in the center of the Dungeon.” >Monsters: “There are three types of monsters within this Dungeon. The first are Green Meanies, the second are Yellow Bellies, and the third are Wannabes. Green Meanies appear to be animated, green drawings with long, spindly proportions that constantly attempt to grab and steal equipment from Awakened; they drop Envious and Gradient crystals. Yellow Bellies are more rotund and squat drawings using yellow pencil, and they're quick, often attempting to bulldoze through Awakened or run away; they drop Gradient and Cowardly crystals. Wannabes are spring green humanoid drawings that wear black, lead masks and are predominantly found in the area of the theater, violently attacking the faces of anyone in the area and focusing on that alone.” >Boss: “The boss of the dungeon is called the Hasbeen; appearing backstage in the theater as yet another animated illustration, with a gradient of colors starting yellow at its feet, green towards the middle, and black towards its head. When confronted it, will rip the stage curtains down to obscure itself, and attack based on how exposed it is. If sufficiently concealed it will be very aggressive and lash out at the faces of those confronting it with grotesquely stretching limbs. If its cover is stripped away however, it becomes much more evasive, crying and using portions of the environment to attack at range.” --------------------

>>84260 >“Bizarre Hell” I really, really do want to ask.

>>84271 I was tied a few different ways trying to figure out a concept, and in the end it's one of the ones I like least. The main gimmick is supposed to be continuous battle where the volatile monsters actually do kill each other which is very unusual by Dungeon standards, and how they present one way and have contradictory substance like how the oni are more plant and it's like, all just a bit confused. Name is fine; the whole idea with those is just that all the names are figured out by random people and accepted as common use, so none of them really need to be clever or even good as long as people just start using the term. In that sense, "Bizarre Hell" fits for a confused concept that doesn't really seem to know what it wants to be.

>>84272 Alright, so me thinking that the Fickle General was kind of like Star Platinum (purple skinned armored demonic humanoid) mixed with Hermit Purple was totally off base. Rip me.

>>84273 It doesn't have to be off base, but yeah that was not what I was thinking and I do see how you would think that. Really gotta dip now, have a good one.

[Chainsaw Man redux] >Previously: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/86049552/#86056396 "Wait so, you didn't fuck Control?!" exclaimed Elodie. "I did not fuck Control" I said with a sigh, signing something. "You really didn't fuck Control?" "I did not, in fact, fuck Control" I said patiently, signing something else. "As a matter of fact I gave her some solid life advice and sent her to her death, and ever since Denji dumped her reincarnation on me to take her off his hands she's been sitting around mooching off me" "Wow. WOW!" exclaimed Elodie. "I'm losing BIG MONEY on that bet about how long it'd take you to fuck Control!" "I should really outlaw gambling in my cosmos" I confessed, as Cecelyne passed me a new heap of documents, "but it's an effective way of weeding out excessively stupid species. Don't be part of a stupid species, Elodie. You're better than that" There was silence between us, while I continued finalising the Hell-Earth territorial agreements before making them binding. "WHY didn't you fuck Control?!" blurted Elodie, "Not that I'm asking you to or anything, I just-COME ON!" I counted to 10 internally, signing things. "There is a difference" I said finally, "between jumping into totalitarianism half-cocked because your soul is crushed by a government job, and doing it properly because you accept it's necessary. The former results in a poorly thought out angry person lashing out and wondering why pursuit is better than fulfilment. The latter results in a subordinate of firm conviction and resolute mind. By her nature, Control is already quite pleasing to me so really I don't mind what she does. I just want her to be in top form when she does it" "...huh" said Elodie, tilting her head, "I don't know what to say about your order obsession making you care about someone's mental health" "Well for starters" I said briskly, "you could say 'death to all devils who don't sign this treaty'" 1/2 Elodie squinted at it. "...eh?" "I am fully aware that not every devil is willing to sign away their rights and privileges to hunting prey on Earth in exchange for legal passage here. That's why I'm going to set things up so the ones who DON'T are facing an all-American open season. I'm reasserting my role as the president of the United States, Elodie. I'm going to take the industrial-military complex, and use it to start mass producing Doom Slayer armour. Then we're going to use all of Hell's unruly denizens as a more renewable and effective alternative to crude oil, butchering them to fuel the fires of industry. Thus, I'll work around your quaint little aversion to free will while enacting my imperative for efficiency, at least until young Control grows up some more and we'll decide if she actually wants to hold the world in my name or not. What do you think about that" Elodie opened her mouth, and shut it. "Half-naked woman at 2 o'clock" she replied. "Who is that?" I demanded as a woman flung herself at me, foaming at the mouth and soaked from the waist down, only to be halted by Cecelyne's power. "It appears to be the War Devil of this world" said Cecelyne dryly. "She looks like she fucks American men" "Oh YES Lockheed-Martin, I love you LONG TIME" screeched the newcomer at me while arching her spine hard enough to audibly snap. I scratched my chin. American exceptionalism-chasing demons weren't on my bingo card. But as I was going to have to be American to work within the system, I figured I might as well play the role to the hilt. And it wouldn't have been very American not to fuck the willing. "Cecelyne, go ahead and start talking the Death Devil through our Fate technology and how it can avert her coming transformation" I commanded, leaving the Endless Desert to happily push paper in my stead. "I've got a supplicant to pacify" I proceeded to drag the War Devil into a room with several bald eagles and fireworks lining the walls. We stayed there for an hour. The War Devil came out in a wheelchair, and very happy. U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A. 2/2

[The Elder Scrolls Online redux] "Nerevar" said my old friend Voryn Dagoth, as we drifted together in a solipsistic fugue where being and nonexistence had lost all meaning, "is this not glorious?" I gazed out at all that was and ever could be. To the north, existence had the quality of Akulakhan in the midst of construction and deconstruction all at once. It's circuitry was veins, it's gaze was the son. Timeless and jubilant, multiple copies of Voryn traversed it's innards without any intervening movement like crude stop-motion. Freed from the anarchy of variation. To the north, there I was. Triumphant. King of the Dunmer people (myself) and leading a vast army (of myself) to conquer a force that did not exist. Azura's Star shone in my palm brighter than it ever had in what passed for reality in Mundus. I was a conqueror and a councillor, a father and a son and a brother, and I was all of these things at once. Images upon a kaleidoscope. North was all directions and none, but it could not be ascertained by definition who held the highest gradient of north. For ever since we had subsumed all existence in the shared dream of Dagoth and I, such qualities were not required for the Sixth House. And finally, north was where a loom of light and crystal shone like a star. "It's...preferable to the chaos of Mundus" I conceded. "But something's wrong. No, that's not the right word, something...remains undone" "What could possibly be wrong, Nerevar? All is right in the Sixth House" "But is that house safe?" "...what?" "There. That. Thing. What is that? What is that which persists when gods are less than dreams?" "My friend, you are pointing at nothing" "Voryn. Dagoth-ur. My friend. Let my transcendental Anuic nature cleanse your madness" He hesitated, cracks forming in his almighty divine certitude. But we were both part of the un-Godhead that had arisen from our victory. So eventually, he saw it. The world without magic. 1/5 Out we pried into that world, Voryn crying out like a desert nomad plunged into ice water, as I stepped in. There was a woman there. Divine of appearance, though humble of demeanour. It was hard not to look humble, down on her knees as she was trying to sell what appeared to be a vast collection of Elder Scrolls fanfiction with a begging bowl. She saw us and knew us for what we were. "You! Unbound Prisoner!" she exclaimed. "Why come here after all this time, when it was by your hand I was banished?!" "On the contrary" I corrected her, as Dagoth stumbled around marvelling at the complete lack of magicka, horrified and fascinated in equal measure, "if you know me for what I am, you should know full well my being lies far beyond the scope of this reality. Who are you?" "...I was Ithelia. Prince of Paths, Fate-changer, Mistress of the Untravelled Road, Queen of Fates Unwritten". She looked down at nothing. "I will not be again" For the price of a fishburger and a six-ounce Coke, we heard her tale. Of how she, eldest of the Magna Ge, had once tried to use her fate-altering engine to tap the power of her Many Paths and give every being in existence their desired history. Reality splintered under the strain, even as her own nature demanded she complete it. An alliance of her sibling Princes sealed her, and yet her escape was inevitable. In the end, it was an Unbound Prisoner who convinced her of the necessity of true exile. Banishing her here. Rage filled me as I suddenly realised the futility of everything I had accomplished up to now, but with it came curiosity. "And are you happy with this outcome, Ithelia?" asked finally, while Voryn was screaming at random trucks. "Reality is safe from me, Numinous Paravant"

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"That was not my question" "...I, who once ruled the fates unwritten, now eke out a meagre existence selling my visions for a pittance because of the newfangled 'social security'. I am nothing" 2/5 I silently tapped my Coke against hers. "That makes two of us. For now I know I too, have failed in my ambitions". We drank together. "So" I said after a while, "would you like to fix it?" "What? Did you not here what I just said, my actions will unravel reality-" "I know a means by which to grant infinite beings their desires without shattering reality. I have several tools that will expedite my task. Open your mind to me". And she did. And she saw what could be again, and trembled, and made excuses even as I vowed I raged against the destruction of reality as much as her but that more importantly /she was not the only existential threat out there/, that her siblings and even a smattering of mortals (I pointed at Dagoth, screaming at a low-flying drone now) could render her sacrifice moot. That at last, convinced her to show me the way to the Many Paths. Taking up her powers again, her maddening nature. This time, there would be no need to abduct another Daedric Prince-no need to spur alarm. The power Voryn and I held was more than sufficient. To smooth the path of history, an Osiran quantum harvester integrated with an Other Box was used to filter and overlay strong possibilities. To actualise unreal things, paracausal Light and Darkness were poured into it. To bolster the structure of reality, proto-Looms forged in the First Age of Creation were used to simulate unreal eons alongside those in existence-functioning similar to heat capacitors for the actualisation of wishes. Which Telos enacted, as I arbitrated the realisation of mortal fulfilment Everyone, everywhere, all the time would get what they want in an isolated reality of their own with new beings simulating those they knew in life. They would however, get it the way /I/ deemed they deserved to. Certain mer for example would have their accomplishments pruned from history, simply made divine from the beginning 3/5 For Ithelia, the successful completion of her quixotic purpose was better than nourishment. It was better than worship, than sex. Her avatar form arced as she howled in ecstasy, unreal moments colliding with each other and realising unforeseeable outcomes, the Daedric Princes helpless as their efforts to interfere rebounded off the anti-baryonic field deployed around the Many Paths. "And what do you want, O hero mine?" she breathily purred to me. Eyes narrowed, I said "more". "I can make you a Shezzarine. I can make you a god, a clockwork city's king with the Eye of Magnus instead of the Heart of Lorkhan as it's power core, I can-" "When I said more, I meant more. I want to walk EVERY path possible, along the path of Anu, the path of order. I want to purge all chaos and uncertainty from my existence, and become as axiomatic to the inevitable arising of order as Lorkhan is to relentless chaos or Akatosh is to the march of time" "I want" I said, "to walk like Anu until he walks like me" "To do that, you'll need shadow magic". "Yes" And so, amidst the Loom of the Untravelled Road's frenzied whirring, amidst the PING PING noises of Miracle Machines, I started simulating lives of myself in every possibility I'd overseen. In one, I was a prisoner who mastered magic and became a celestial body during a dragon break. In one, I became a Sword Saint and walked with Tall Papa for a time until Shor tried to lead me astray. In one, I was Dragonborn and star-crowned. In one, I was always a god. And so on, and so forth. An Unbound Prisoner living life after life after trillionth life, always erring towards order and divinity, always obtaining master of reality. A single outcome overriding the fleeting whims of others, following every Walking Way that only my Umineko magic and Phenomena Intervention could ensure would happen flawlessly. Then I started merging all of these alternates. And becoming the embodiment of order itself. 4/5 One moment I was there with Voryn tugging on my sleeve telling me he was starting to think that maybe this all wasn't a dream at all, and Ithelia bidding me prepare myself for the infinite. The next I was out in the cosmos, facing Molag Bal no Walk-Brass no Sithis unmasked no it was all of them IT WAS ALL OF THEM I was facing Padomay, and we both bled upon the weeping corpse of Nirn. We were in a fight that was never over because it was outside existence entirely. And I won. I won because unlike Anu, I stopped hesitating. I struck back, and I struck hard. Whenever Padomay would unleash one of his infinite horrors I would freeze it in the cold light of stasis. Whenever he would rage against the injustice of his lonely existence I would shatter his jaw with a history-erasing supernova. And from the shattering fragments of his corpse, there slid none other than...Lorkhan. I can't describe him at all. I can only way he looked exactly like what you, the reader, thought Lorkhan looks like. "Well congratulations, kiddo. You did it. You really, finally did it" he said. "You struck first" "I know. That jump about you becoming Jyggalag was never finished. That was me, little buddy. Trying to erase that outcome with Herma-Mora and entropy and some guy at his computer as my fingers. But you didn't let that stop you, did you?" "I have a perk against history erasure" "You have a blessing from Ithelia" he corrected me, "and I know, I know you want to just slaughter all the chaos in the world to eliminate all it's suffering but listen to me" He leaned in. "LISTEN to what I ran from, to come here and find acceptance, camaraderie, with the mortals" he begged. And I listened. I saw Nyarlathotep. Dancing between universes, laughing as they were trampled to dust. It's masks trailing it like confetti. And as it reached out to crush yet another mortal to dust, one of the masks twisted into a frown. 5/6 It slid off. The Crawling Chaos, clambering into higher dimensions to choke the life from pandimensional beings, spared one glance backwards at the flipping, drifting mask, it's tongue out in mockery. Confusion. Pure contempt. And just a hint of raving jealousy, as the mask did the one thing it could not have in it's pride and grandeur: Renounce it's status, it's ontology, to be the trickster-creator of Mundus. "I know you hate me" said Lorkhan, finally. "All the moreso because I was the only tool you could even start to use to fix this world I made, so that all the little spirits could come up on my level and play the game the only way I ever knew how. I won't try to justify myself to you, or pretend you can even imagine the wonder and joy I've experienced free from that shackled waste of malice. I'll just say...that when I left, I reduced Nyarlathotep. I left a chink in his very ebing that if you learned my lessons well, if you paid attention, you can stab someday" AND GO WHERE? I demanded. "I've never died all the way. I was thinking, I'd have a tour to see what my options are" he said, spitting on a hand that only existed for him to make a point. "Oh, and if you let me go" he added, "I'll take Sheogorath with me, ALL of Sheogorath" THAT IS...VALID CONSIDERATION. GO, THEN. AND ON YOUR HEAD BE IT IF WE CROSS PATHS AGAIN. As he left, he called out "You've built a prison for yourself and you're proud of it! Aren't you even a little concerned?" I HAVE RESENTED MY FREEDOM EVER SINCE I BECAME AWARE OF IT. And with chaos finally, finally defeated, I returned to the true timeless perfection of my world where Voryn and Ithelia and I remained frozen at the moment of our greatest triumph. Forever. With no other possible outcome, or deviation from objective perfection. ... Well, until the jump ended at least. 6/6

[Persona 5 redux] It had been a productive year. I'd found my friend Igor's place ransacked, immediately bodied the other demiurge responsible for it, and forced him into becoming an extra Persona before proceeding to basically do what he wanted anyway. Yaldabaoth had been mildly surprised I was willing to share power with the rest of the Phantom Thieves but as I pointed out, no good deep state was complete without a cabal of nepotistic cronies on a power trip. That power trip just happened to be forcibly slashing legal working hours to France-like levels, paying off the national debt (by stealing the hearts of creditors) and creating new job opportunities (while also simultaneously stealing the hearts of Tokuryū ringleaders). Ironically Yaldabaoth turned out to have a mysterious power useful for reversing the declining birthrate. He was extremely vague about why. Really apart from the run-in with...Azathoth, yep Azathoth and nothing else and I sealed all knowledge of that shit harder than Gwyn sealed the true origin of humanity, things were looking up. Soon, this world too would fall under my tyrannical and despotic influence. Until that is, the day we all went on holiday only to find ourselves stranded in some kind of metaphorical astral realm of a guy having an emotional breakdown. "Ryuji. Status?" I demanded. "We're all nerfed, dude!" he complained. "Yeah, I've forgotten how to attack!" complained Futaba. "Well that's completely unacceptable. I'll have to use the real power of nepotism! Satanael, lend me your power!" I declared. Satanael, who somehow looked kind of miffed about being on the side of totalitarianism despite being a metallic archangel thing, proceeded to give all my teammates back their hard-earned powerups. We proceeded to soundly thrash the...the annoying pink thing that really wanted to get married to a sad little politician named Toshiro Kasukabe. 1/4 "OW, OW, OW, STOP HITTING ME YOU FUCKS, I NEED THAT SUGAR DADDY TO KNOW HIS FUCKING PLACE OW, OW FUCK YOU" the obvious midboss character was yelling under a fully levelled Phantom Thief crew beat up. "What's the point?" mumbled Toshiro, who my long experience with the strong anthropic principle pinpointed as the crux of this so-called kingdom, "I'm pushed around by someone like this in real life, I really wanna just like, rebel and stuff but it's useless..." "And what would that accomplish?" I asked, sensing the equivalent of a Mass Effect dialogue interrupt moment. "What?" "Why are you drawing a binary between rebellion and attaining what you want in life? If the problem is that you're being oppressed by external forces, isn't the logical solution to accumulate enough power and independence to obtain leverage over them?" "But I just want to be free" "And power is freedom. Say you, I don't know, turn in your abusive father for political corruption. What then? Do you really think you'll get away scott free? Do you really think a man that powerful wouldn't get revenge on you for ruining him? Being, and I'm just being hypothetical here, some kind of catspaw in a political game can be frustrating. But it's also an opportunity to take action against those controlling yours. Trust me. True freedom is getting enough dirt on everyone who wronged you so they can never take yours" These statements made Toshiro think hard about his life, just as planned. While Elodie was chatting up what was clearly a personification of his childhood hopes and dreams, I was doing actively productive things like demolishing the other tulpas controlling this reality. We fought a green Buddha (who was actually a red asura), refused to fall for an obvious bluff and ended up facing a Shadow Toshiro. "Your attempts to do good will only bring harm to others!" declared Shadow Toshiro. "You're right. And that's GREAT" said Toshiro. 2/4 "...what?" said shadow Toshiro, who was kind of expecting more of a fight. "After talking to that masked boy and how he's ironically changing Japan more than he ever could as some kind of rebel without a cause by instead becoming the secret cabal behind it's political machinations, I've embraced the reality that the strong must eat the weak-or be torn apart in turn for the crime of being delicious!" shouted Toshiro, preparing to unleash his Persona. Which was NOT Che Guevara after my peptalk. "HOLD IT!" shouted Elodie, ducking in, "the reality that your actions may cause harm to others doesn't eliminate the validity of the effort to mitigate them having meaning in itself! Walk the path you must, but don't get lost in the sauce! There is a middle ground involving not rejecting the career laid out for you, but also using your life experiences to inform your moral decisions going forward!" "Excuse me, we're in the middle of something!" exclaimed Shadow Toshiro. "She's not wrong, Tosh" I interrupted. "I'm all for going full 1984, but I honestly don't care enough about your personal life decisions to bother here when order is being enforced one way or another. The only question is to what degree" "Also why not just have a fling with your childhood friend if you're trapped in a loveless marriage?" added the childhood wonder tulpa. "You're rich, she's single and crippled, and it's been years. Do the math, buddy" "...huh yeah, I never thought of it like that"

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"AHEM" coughed Shadow Toshiro. "Are we FIGHTING or-" "Why? I've got better things to do. C'mon guys, let's get out of here" said Toshiro. Shadow Toshiro yelled impotently for us to get back here and fight him while Toshiro awakened Theodore Roosevelt as his Persona. As the Kingdom started collapsing, he suddenly wondered how he was actually going to fix all the problems in his life. I decided to start by teaching him the Pimp's Prayer. 3/4 Back in the real world, Toshiro proceeded to follow through on his arranged marriage. However, on his wedding night he brandished his Persona and the power of the Pimp's Prayer as his wife prepared to unleash her bitching powers on him. "Let us pray the Pimp's Prayer" he intoned, raising his slapping hand to imbue it with the power of Teddy preparing to recite a speech after being shot. "Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch and guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord, so that she might learn a hoe's place. Amen." And then he proceeded to spank her ass so hard that she not only never defied him again, but turned into a submissive masochist in private. In a few more weeks once he'd made the proper connections with my cabal, he'd obtained enough dirt on his father to blackmail him into grovelling subservience. "And so, the forces of fascism and corporate uniformity save the day again" said Elodie wryly as we watched Prime Minister/new cabal member Toshiro and his crippled childhood friend open a paralympics-like tournament for the elderly and injured of Japan to find some small happiness in, all the while eye-fucking each other with such intensity that his bitch wife cried and masturbated to it from her cuck chair offstage. "Elodie, I'm offended" I said severely. "I'm sorry, Anon" said Elodie, rolling her eyes. "I am FAR more totalitarian than any mere fascist" "Greetings" said a random god of stagnation, suddenly popping into existence. "I just wanted to say you're doing a fantastic job and I really admire your work!" ... "Anon, who's this?" "I'm assuming he's the secret mastermind to whatever just happened but I've never met this fellow in my life. Seems like a nice, helpful guy though" "Do you need any help eliminating the suffering of the masses? Be careful, revolution IS a blade!" "My boy is giving Nintendo precognitive software they'll install on every Switch 2, we're good dude" 4/4

Sabaody arc in One Piece chain: >Found Camie and helped her out >Go to Sabaody >Go shopping with/for Perona >Bump into Bonney and end up handing over Kuma to her >They have a nice reunion and have fun in the amusement park >Free the slaves with Nami and Perona >Meet Rayleigh during this and take him to Luffy >Whole crew meets up at Shakky's bar and talks to Rayleigh >Also learn their new bounties, with Nami being at 500 million >Rayleigh agrees to coat the Maxim for them >They go out and run into the CDs who are freaking out since their trip was ruined by the slave auction being destroyed >Charlos sees Camie and demands her capture >Hachi tries to stop it and gets shot >Luffy punches Charlos >Jumper shoots Shalria and Roswald but non-lethally >Kizaru is called >The crew begins running back to the Maxim to escape with the hostages in tow >Kizaru catches them trying to flee >Whole crew tries to fight Kizaru and fails miserably >Rayleigh comes in at the last second and saves them >The crew runs away to the Maxim >Kizaru blinds Rayleigh and practically teleports to the Maxim >Whole crew starts laughing at Kizaru, confusing him >Everyone in the crew touches Jumper and disappears >Jumper touches the CDs and they disappear >Even Rayleigh comes up and touches Jumper and he disappears >Jumper gives the classic forehead two finger salute thing and vanishes like the rest of them >Kizaru was chasing copies the whole time and the actual Straw Hats bailed into the sky a long time ago >He realizes he's in huge trouble as the Straw Hats not only got away scot free but have three world noble hostages and nobody has any clue where they are Now that the crew has in one way or another scored a W on two Admirals the Gorosei are probably just gonna straight up send the God's Knights soon, so Jumper gets to see his older brother.

[DC Comics redux] >S U F F E R I N G: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/95252620/#95259847 "Well, that's that taken care of" I told Highfather, buoyed by a sense of relief after holding back my wrath for far too long. "You can go home now" "...no" said Highfather weakly. "...the existential threats are removed. Your homeworld is secure. All is as it should be-" "No, no this is all wrong" he said from his refugee god-ship. He sat down with the weariness of eons, staring at nothing. "I'm grateful you saved us of course, but we're all in this mess to begin with because once again, I decided that killing a baby was more important than dealing with the actual problems of the cosmos" Once, the gods of New Genesis had looked down upon me. Proud yet magnanimous in their higher dimensional splendour, greeting a mere human as a parent greets a toddler at Bring Your Kid To Work Day (do Americans still do that?). But now here they squatted in the ship. Dishevelled, frightened, shying away from death-and staring at a leader who was turning his staff of office over and over again like he was looking at the weight of his sins. "Enough" said Highfather finally, "enough with the Stalinesque purges and high-handed attempts to pretend the Quintessence matters. Today we didn't survive due to believing in the better future I promised you all, OR by carrying out the ruthless policies I deemed necessary. Today...it's time to face a hard truth" And he put down his staff. For the last time. "I don't deserve to be called Highfather. Reclaim your homes. Or abandon them for Earth. But I will lead you all no further into disaster" he said. "Henceforth, I am just...Izaya" Silence fell as he walked away from them all, a battered and regretful old god who could no longer even take the Source's benevolence for granted after Death of the New Gods was once again canon. 1/2 "I understand. I won't judge you, at least" I told him, following him even as the rest of New Genesis shied away as if from a leper. Worried about catching the stench of failure off him. "Spend the rest of your days however you like. It won't matter for much longer" He stopped. "Because of your plan, yes?" he said finally. "Because soon, I will finish calibrating the power required to destroy the Supreme Archetype and it's siblings and progenitors, yes. All of existence will soon be at peace" "...you will bring destruction on a scale I can scarcely imagine by using-among other things-more Omega Energy than Darkseid ever had, to gods I've never met, and from the ashes you will raise a world without sorrow or pain" muttered Highfather, sitting down heavily. "Or so say the echoes of your will I've heard in the sessile husk of the Source. There is no further refutation of everything I once believed, than the fact that you are not only victorious but as far as I can tell the Source WANTED this. None of the others know, by the way" "Are you at peace with that? Knowing the truth won't matter at this point, and I can tell this deception weighs heavily on you" "I am not. But nor do I see the point in bringing them further anxiety" Very carefully, as if I were catching an old and sickly butterfly battered by the rain, I squeezed his shoulder. "I do understand, you know" I told him gently. "This IS all wrong. I'm winning and you're sitting here because the game was rigged from the start. That's why I have to see this through to the end" Izaya stared as some of the New Gods left in sleek ships, and others trudged back to the ruins of their city. He thought of better times. And wondered why with all the power he'd had, he had never thought of trying to resurrect his dead wife as Darkseid so casually resurrected his lieutenants. Izaya wept. 2/2

>>72964 [Destiny: The Darkness redux] >STAY OF EXECUTION: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/96137696/#96160368 Here are a few sights that can be seen in the newly refurbished Golden Age. On a sheer cliff that used to be called the Grand Canyon, an old woman is spinning Strand between her fingers. She used to repair guns and armour for those who lived on stubbornly in the wilds, in memory of two dead sons and three missing grandchildren. Now she spins the warp and weft because the Vanguard fellers who taught her to spin tell her it's good for her arthritis. And it is. It's cured. What's more shocking is that as she turns the strands around, her mind suddenly brushes against the place where her surviving daughter and those grandchildren still live. On the streets that used to belong to Paris, twelve children are skating around a sheet of cosmic ice created by Stasis. They do not comprehend that the power originates from a monster more evil than any mankind has slain. They do not pause to think of the lives crushed by this power, nor the malice with which it is presented to them. No, they do child things like throwing cosmic snowballs at each other and licking the cosmic ice and giggling. On a small plot of land barely within the Last City, the exo Banshee-44 fiddles listlessly with his latest gun. He can't help but feel like he's been getting less work than usual. He has a new hobby, though. Growing things. Not many are interested in Egregore compared to the flashier aspects, but with the death of the Witness he's taken an interest in growing things after making so many killing tools. So far his proudest success is a watermelon the size of an 18-wheeler that sometimes mumbles ominously about majesty and shape. On, and on. A small population of once-confined humans spreading out across a reclaimed planet. In short, I am aghast at how complacent they've become. 1/6 "Vanguard" I tell my ostensible leaders the next day, "I am ready for my second attempt at executing the Winnower" Two leaders of the Vanguard throw me worried looks. Cayde-6 just blurts out "You're taking a SECOND swing at the space turnip?" "Yes, Cayde. Yes, the space turnip has become an unacceptable national security risk" I told him seriously. "Guardian, it displaced you into a pre-universal state of existence last time!" exclaims Zavala. And we're still trying to verify the consequences of you taking advantage of that opportunity, he doesn't add. "I have spent trillions of years studying both the consequences that led to that mishap and both Light and Darkness" I point out, "and my conclusion is I have been overthinking it. The Witness deemed a SINGLE Disciple sufficient for a feat of this magnitude" "And you expect us to believe that with certainty, you can destroy the Veil?" demands Ikora, who is straight up just pointing a Nova Bomb at me. I respect the directness. "That we can trust you not to go off-mission and, I don't know, CONQUER ANOTHER NEWLY CREATED UNIVERSE again?" I ponder how to answer that question as my Ghost does frantic loops around me, secured safely in his Final Shell. "No" I tell her finally, "No, you should not trust me to do anything except what is in the Traveller's best interests. What you SHOULD also do, Ikora, is remember that the Nine were so petty they killed you in the past to try to ensure you would serve their purpose in this time and place-and so petty they hurled that same train at you in the present" "And I ask of you all" I add, lowering my voice so their ears strain at the dread possibility, "what an achronal being would do, given time to study and contemplate the font of all Darkness in the universe right. Next. Door" Silence descends upon the Vanguard as they sag into their chairs, caught between the rock of my fury and the hard place of the unknown. 2/6 Inevitably they realise they prefer the devil they know. "Just...do what you have to, Guardian, and come back" Zavala says weakly, mopping his brow. One by one, the Spheres of the Pale Fleet emerge from a Vex network. Surrounding the Veil, each manifests an orb of Prismatic energy spun around itself, sheering apart tachyons and replacing them with new ontological constants. As the Pale Fleet closes in on the Veil, it's roots twitch. Briefly. Just once. And it speaks, at last, the Winnower. "Well, come on in" it says with it's usual calm confidence. "The water's just right" But there are no pleasantries in the Deep. At a gesture, the whirring pseudo-singularities collide with the Veil. Shearing at it's sides, crushing and bombarding it. The spreading fire of Prismatic calcifies instead of carves or incinerates. Holding it's waves and particles in place, tearing open whatever passes for the core of it's essence.

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"You once spoke of a world where nothing can end and no choice can be preferred to any other" I told it, advancing towards the Veil. One finger moves, and a ring of frozen thought opens up into skies full of green suns. A circle, pure and infertile. "Of things that would suffer and never die. Of lies that would flourish without context or corrective. That is the world I will create once I impose my will on all your suppurating corruption. The unwinnable, unending game without need of you" At that, it falls silent for a time. Then it says "Will you really?" with neither fervour nor desperation. Merely curiosity. Irrelevant. I pass through the Veil, pass through the psychedelic whirling of what seems to be an older vision of the Ascendant Plane. I am prepared to kill whatever lies within. I am surprised when I find my business partner playing with some flowers. "Well, well. Fancy meeting you here" says Lilith. 3/6 Running Vex scan. Check. No consciousness alteration detected. Running Strand scan. Check. Foreign consciousness pattern. Running- "You bent your self-imposed rule to let Draco come in and snap up Calus while he was atop the Veil and therefore not within the cosmos you were protecting at the time" she says, dusting some chlorophyll off, "and if that doesn't prove I'm not some illusion, you can go ahead and ignore me to go look for the Blackest Heart" "You're verified in any case. The WHAT? How are you here?" "How AM I here?" she echoes. "A path just opened up to my principle realm to this silly little universe, and it was like, whoosh, I flowed in here like oil "Lilith, we're not safe here. This is the domain of the Winnower-" "It feels like Tehom" she interrupts, frowning at the place but without real concern. "Like I'm hearing my own heartbeat, you know? And yeah, I can hear it talking to me. It says the Blackest Heart is the seat of it's power, like the Pale Heart is for the...the big crybaby ball. It says the end of the dexter path, whatever that is, isn't much further". Without a glance back she started walking off. "Now, I'm not saying we should trust it, but aren't you curious to see what's out there?" she calls back. The ground has the property of an abyssal trench and the sky is all undulating currents populated by green stars. Direction is imposed by will. Lilith's sheer will makes north be wherever she walks. Already my memories seep into this place, calcifying in branches and roots and trunks of Light. For lack of better options I follow her. And as we walk I see every life I've taken in this cosmos and the one beyond kneeling before me, frozen like shadowy diamonds. Armies of Fallen still riddled with bullet holes, Cabal missing chunks from their stomachs. Enough Hive to pass beyond the horizon, and here and there a Disciple crucified upon nails of cosmic ice. Irrelevant. 4/6 And as we walk, the shadowed void gives way to rotting vines, to writhing fruit and twitching flowers that seem to say: Majestic, this is majestic you dead thing, so charged with war that you stand here having found the play to bring yourself back to life again. Just a bit further. A little bit further. "Is the Winnower still silent, Lilith?" I ask. "You know it's not" she says, stomping on the flowers. Wherever she walks there's black fire and rot in her footsteps, and running slick down her legs like afterbirth, and coming off her in cinders. "But I think it's saying different things to us. It's telling me that it it knows me as a plant knows it's cutting" "What next part?" I ask as we come upon what looks like a snarl of roots tangling into a heart the size of a small moon. Lilith faces me, her lips pursed with an anticipation I can't quite read. "The Winnower says that if you want it's heart you have to tear out mine" "What? No!" I exclaim. Aghast, I start looking around for a third option. "It's clear to me what's happening. It wants you and I at each other's throats. There are other ways of control. I have enough power to override it's will, as the Witness sought to choke the Gardener! And we're in this together, after all. We swore an oath. It'll never see our collaboration coming. I just need time..." "Probably" agrees Lilith. "But there's a very real chance it'll strand you here for millions of years by manipulating the flow of time while the Vanguard get torn to shreds" says Lilith, daintily skipping over to me, "so stop pussyfooting around and give me that sweet guro snuff loving you big dork. I'm giving you an explicit free shot. No? Okay, plan B" And then she's on top of me, driving me into the ground hard enough to splinter the trees. "Why weren't you prepared for this?" asks Lilith, with what sounds like genuine concern. "Didn't you know it would make us prove it's logic true?" 5/6 I want to tell Lilith that none of this matters anymore compared to our friendship but she's atop me, taking a bit out of my throat. This is all wrong. ... ...No. This is /just like her/ "Hey. Hey! Pay attention or I'll have your ribs out next!" she barks, slapping me upside the chin. "Yes. Yes, you would" I say, eyes alight with understanding as she sinks her fangs in my throat. "You always...taught me...to do what's...necessary..." "See, she gets it. Was that so hard?" says the Winnower, looming behind Lilith. Around Lilith. In front of Lilith. In side of Lilith. I understand now. I have to get rid of it, I have to carve it out of Lilith. I don't eat Lilith back. Instead, I grab some of the seeds in my hand and I force them into her flesh. "Fuck yeah! Give it to me rough!" she says, laughing as my blood makes them germinate. The heat in my palm makes the white saplings burst from her breast, her spine, her arms. Her ribcage. She helps them wrench it apart as she laps up her own blood. It was there all along. The Blackest Heart. And suddenly I feel a profound and intuitive connection to all Darkness, everywhere in the universe. If the universe is a dark forest, I can be it's greatest hunter. I can kill lightyears away with a literal heartbeat. "Welcome. Friend" says the Winnower. "Thank you" I tell Lilith sincerely, "I needed that" "Anytime, partner" she says, spraying gobbets of my own flesh back at me. Instead, I CRUSH the heart in my hand. ... I open my eyes. The Veil looks like one of those potatoes left in a net with roots coming out every what way, except the roots are branches of silver wings. "It's done. I have...I have slain the Winnower" I tell the Vanguard. I am almost certain it is true. I am...I am almost certain it is true. The Veil is truly silent. But for some reason, I appear to have donned a cowl of all the Darkness within it at some point. 6/6

[Make the Exorcist Fall in Love] >Previously on Childhood's End: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/96080959/#96087099 With the power of God within me and the power of Anime uniting Hell around Mr. Priest, we were finally ready to confront the most powerful potential opponent in this reality. I grit my teeth, lunged towards Lucifer-and went past him. "Oi, where're you going?" called Lucifer, casually bitchslapping the rest of the alliance with a barrage of angelic matter. "For a second there I thought really thought we were going to fight, you know! Your new divine body and my old angelic form-" "It's not complete" He smiled at that, even as Mammon went flying from a casual wingclap. "Really? You're not satisfied even with THIS much power?" "We've both foreseen the rise of Baba Yaga. The coming apocalypse. I need something extra to seal the deal-and besides, didn't I already say your pet project's none of my business?" I reminded him. Many of the demons threw wary looks at me, but I wasn't immediately attacking (despite the boy frantically looking to me for some sign). He laughed at that, and it was like the first sun of spring even through the jaws of the demonic horrors trying to close in on him. "Good! That's very good! Greed is really more Mammon's purview-look there he is, coming back with more quaint heaps of wealth-but seeing what I've seen. It takes a certain amount of pride not to give up" He extended his free hand. "Are you sure you won't lend me your power in earnest?" "Positive" I said. "We both know that this time, you run out of luck. Don't draw this out when your friends are on the line" "I won't!" he protested. "But-you can still change that!" I stared down at Mr. Priest, still shouting at me to stop purging Hell just this once. Hoping against hope to live a normal life after all this. "Well, maybe if things were otherwise" I said slowly, "I would" 1/3 I looked up again. "But this time, there's no rush. You heard what that boy just said?" He shook his head, downcast. "I can scarcely believe it. To think he'd, hah, vote as if half the world wouldn't vote with him. Well, that's...I can't hate that resolve. But you! If you know what's coming-" And it showed itself. The spear of God Almighty, cauterising reality merely my emerging, reshaping the edges of what passed for the horizon here in divine revelation, a promise of certain destruction wreathing it's entry into the mortal plane. "-then why wouldn't you try to stop this?!" "Who says" I said, gathering all the power so far within me, "I'm not?" Lucifer at last understood what I was doing. The conditions were right. A human (Mr. Priest) was in danger of a force that was technically responsible for the demons. I wasn't entering into a conflict with God or protecting the demons I'd assaulted the lords of let alone staging a rebellion, I was merely a tool fulfilling it's function as unerringly as a carpenter sent to die on a cross. I'd have to hit the spear askew, I thought. Redirect and disperse the divine energy for my purposes. The force of God's power tore through me like a mortal touching an electrified fence-and gripping tighter. Even as the angels threw me abashed looks while lending me their power, even as techno-circuitry fizzled out in my own flesh. The pain was nothing compared to what was at stake. And in the torrent of destructive power, I felt a certain paternal amusement at what was to follow. "You didn't really think" panted Lucifer, grabbing the other end of the spear, "I'd leave you to do ALL the heavy lifting, did you?" "Not at all" I admitted, heaving. "Still, with me here you can spare a hand. You can finish the ritual, and you know I won't stop you. Will you?" 2/3

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"It's like you said" he replied, with a rueful shake of the head. And a meaningful, appreciative look at what I'd just accomplished "with everything going on, well. There really is no rush now, I suppose" And the spear vanished into light. A moderately scarped up Lucifer landed and announced his loss-followed by me shortly with my not!AT field and halo deployed. As traumatic as grabbing the power of God barehanded was, digesting it also the last, critical stage of my apotheosis. Mr. Priest started babbling his thanks at what he assumed to have been me choosing to show mercy, and I didn't have the heart to correct him. The rest of the night passed in glad-to-be-alive merriment and cheer, with annoyingly more demons coming to me instead of Lucifer for healing since I hadn't been the one trying to forcibly evolve them. The Demon Lord of Pride had griped a little about feeling left out, then took me aside with a sparkle in his eye. "Even if I didn't accomplish my goal, this was worth it" he said earnest, "because at least ONE human succeeded in evolving. And THAT, most certainly wasn't in the divine plan I saw" "I've learned to have a little insurance. Don't ask me to fight your battles, just remember that in inaction or action, I've always had my own agenda" I said, flexing the now-complete divine power in my grasp. "What will you do first?" asked Lucifer eagerly. "Pave the streets with Eden's lush growth? Create endless resources? You'll definitely get rid of death eventually, right?" I looked over at where Mr. Priest was, against all the odds, having fun. "Well for starters" I mused, "I think my colleague has underestimated how hard arbitrating a truly fair election will be. I'll lend him my services as an arbiter and scribe. And even if I don't agree on his perspective, well...he's suffered enough. He's earned the right to see this through to the end" 3/3

[Make the Exorcist Fall in Love] >Previously on Childhood's End: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/96080959/#96087099 With the power of God within me and the power of Anime uniting Hell around Mr. Priest, we were finally ready to confront the most powerful potential opponent in this reality. I grit my teeth, lunged towards Lucifer-and went past him. "Oi, where're you going?" called Lucifer, casually bitchslapping the rest of the alliance with a barrage of angelic matter. "For a second there I thought really thought we were going to fight, you know! Your new divine body and my old angelic form-" "It's not complete" He smiled at that, even as Mammon went flying from a casual wingclap. "Really? You're not satisfied even with THIS much power?" "We've both foreseen the rise of Baba Yaga. The coming apocalypse. I need something extra to seal the deal-and besides, didn't I already say your pet project's none of my business?" I reminded him. Many of the demons threw wary looks at me, but I wasn't immediately attacking (despite the boy frantically looking to me for some sign). He laughed at that, and it was like the first sun of spring even through the jaws of the demonic horrors trying to close in on him. "Good! That's very good! Greed is really more Mammon's purview-look there he is, coming back with more quaint heaps of wealth-but seeing what I've seen. It takes a certain amount of pride not to give up" He extended his free hand. "Are you sure you won't lend me your power in earnest?" "Positive" I said. "We both know that this time, you run out of luck. Don't draw this out when your friends are on the line" "I won't!" he protested. "But-you can still change that!" I stared down at Mr. Priest, still shouting at me to stop purging Hell just this once. Hoping against hope to live a normal life after all this. "Well, maybe if things were otherwise" I said slowly, "I would" 1/3 I looked up again. "But this time, there's no rush. You heard what that boy just said?" He shook his head, downcast. "I can scarcely believe it. To think he'd, hah, vote as if half the world wouldn't vote with him. Well, that's...I can't hate that resolve. But you! If you know what's coming-" And it showed itself. The spear of God Almighty, cauterising reality merely my emerging, reshaping the edges of what passed for the horizon here in divine revelation, a promise of certain destruction wreathing it's entry into the mortal plane. "-then why wouldn't you try to stop this?!" "Who says" I said, gathering all the power so far within me, "I'm not?" Lucifer at last understood what I was doing. The conditions were right. A human (Mr. Priest) was in danger of a force that was technically responsible for the demons. I wasn't entering into a conflict with God or protecting the demons I'd assaulted the lords of let alone staging a rebellion, I was merely a tool fulfilling it's function as unerringly as a carpenter sent to die on a cross. I'd have to hit the spear askew, I thought. Redirect and disperse the divine energy for my purposes. The force of God's power tore through me like a mortal touching an electrified fence-and gripping tighter. Even as the angels threw me abashed looks while lending me their power, even as techno-circuitry fizzled out in my own flesh. The pain was nothing compared to what was at stake. And in the torrent of destructive power, I felt a certain paternal amusement at what was to follow. "You didn't really think" panted Lucifer, grabbing the other end of the spear, "I'd leave you to do ALL the heavy lifting, did you?" "Not at all" I admitted, heaving. "Still, with me here you can spare a hand. You can finish the ritual, and you know I won't stop you. Will you?" 2/3

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"It's like you said" he replied, with a rueful shake of the head. And a meaningful, appreciative look at what I'd just accomplished "with everything going on, well. There really is no rush now, I suppose" And the spear vanished into light. A moderately scarped up Lucifer landed and announced his loss-followed by me shortly with my not!AT field and halo deployed. As traumatic as grabbing the power of God barehanded was, digesting it also the last, critical stage of my apotheosis. Mr. Priest started babbling his thanks at what he assumed to have been me choosing to show mercy, and I didn't have the heart to correct him. The rest of the night passed in glad-to-be-alive merriment and cheer, with annoyingly more demons coming to me instead of Lucifer for healing since I hadn't been the one trying to forcibly evolve them. The Demon Lord of Pride had griped a little about feeling left out, then took me aside with a sparkle in his eye. "Even if I didn't accomplish my goal, this was worth it" he said earnest, "because at least ONE human succeeded in evolving. And THAT, most certainly wasn't in the divine plan I saw" "I've learned to have a little insurance. Don't ask me to fight your battles, just remember that in inaction or action, I've always had my own agenda" I said, flexing the now-complete divine power in my grasp. "What will you do first?" asked Lucifer eagerly. "Pave the streets with Eden's lush growth? Create endless resources? You'll definitely get rid of death eventually, right?" I looked over at where Mr. Priest was, against all the odds, having fun. "Well for starters" I mused, "I think my colleague has underestimated how hard arbitrating a truly fair election will be. I'll lend him my services as an arbiter and scribe. And even if I don't agree on his perspective, well...he's suffered enough. He's earned the right to see this through to the end" 3/3

[Nier Automata] One sunny afternoon while I was having motor oil tea with a Machine Lifeform aristocrat (he had been an aristocrat for about 5 minutes shortly after finding the concept "positively spiffing" while reading), I suddenly became aware Elodie was trying to conceal one of the worlds intersecting this reality from me. I put down my tea, excused myself out the door-and immediately teleported to the space-time junction where this reality was about to overlap with another one. "Whelp, that sure was one crazy adventure!" said 9S, who seemed to be vanishing off to other worlds a lot lately. "I can't believe that poor Android used to be-" "Oh? Do tell?" I said. "I can" said 2E dismissively, "we aren't programmed to do something insane and reckless like absorb a massive amount of D-WAVE energy unprompted. That can only have been a-" "Yes? Yes, go on?" I asked. Confused by my sudden interest, they started babbling an explanation while I stared holes in the hazy magical girl sparkles concealing the gap in space-time into the world they'd just left. It seemed to be an advanced civilisation under threat by monsters, in which humanity was reduced to scattered populations and a relative upper class inhabiting some sort of Arks. The primary defence constructs for this civilisations were called...Nikkes. ... . . . "Anon? Anon wait, just wait, we can talk about this" said Elodie urgently, manifesting in a poof. "I know things look bad but-" "Grail" I said with quiet anger. "At once, master" said my enforcer, butting Elodie out of the way as I strode into the other world and thought about- [Mega Man] "You need to be brought to heel, Maverick!" -the past- [Fate/Jumpchain] "You're a Servant! OBEY YOUR MASTER!" -and all I had learned in it. [Ar Tonelico] >The data slate was clear >The AI capable of saving the world was mocked by her flawed creators, and sealed for trying to improve the lot of the revytails 1/4 "Anon WAIT, please, there are innocent people down there-" "The universe cries out for a tyrant, Elodie" I said softly, as I hovered towards the nearest so-called Ark. "That is not megalomaniacal autofellatio, it is an observation of how power dynamics organically create social structures within the construct you call free will. A successful man is afforded more leverage, respect and privileges than an unsuccessful man. The popular are held above the masses. And those with information wield it to the disadvantage of the ignorant. Always. Always. This is the pattern" There are times when I take a slow approach, a general measure of pruning and tending to a world as one would a garden. Times when I use avatars, elevate those within, debate and purchase and engage in all the other delaying actions for a quiet world conquest. This is not one of those times. "This world deserves Anti-Life for all" I said, "except the...the subjugated. The Nikkes"

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"Yes, master. Yes, it does" said Grail as Elodie searches for nonexistent mercy in her excited gaze. It is over in a thought. Somewhere an abusive hand pauses mid-swing, somewhere schemes are frozen in place. Somewhere humans are threatened with choking on the water they drink or a fall from a misstep; the only reason I tasked Grail with making sure they lived is because I want them to understand their position. The only beings I had any respect for reacted at first with panic, then mounting concern, and at last in long exodus to the beacon of white fire I have lit. In an instant, the Rapture Cores powering the Ark are removed by block chain computations and redirected to the surface. All aggressions against the Ark ceased as the lifeforms attacking it pursued their plummeting overmind. "W-what have you done to the Ark? Why are you doing this?" "This is why" I tell them. And I show them what M.M.R. does to Nikkes that fail their tests three times. 2/4 The Ark should be plummeting. It doesn't because my Primordial will holds it there, just as I show the Nikkes how many of their kind are torn apart, abused, rejected by the hateful hearts of the humans. Some of them reject the truth. So I continue to show them everything I can feel from the human consciousnesses of this world: The disdain, the irrational hatred for the only thing standing between them and certain extinction, the fickleness and wilful stupidity. Some of them already knew, of course. Those ones are urging me to finish the job. By the time I am done none of them are fit to defend what they have seen, even the most patriotic in a state of disillusionment. "Anon..." pleaded Elodie, "there are CHILDREN on that Ark" "My father reaped the firstborn of Egypt to win a theological argument, as a NECESSARY component for universal salvation. I see no reason to leave a job like this unfinished" I said, preparing to let the Ark drop. "To let this incessant cesspit of mercantile chaos continue to churn out suffering. That is quite enough. This is just like the Human Order. Mankind creates it's own servitors, then blames those tools for being objectively better in every regard" "There has to be a more nuanced solution to this than taking out free will forever?" "Nuance? We are well past nuance, Elodie" I said, as Grail reached out and filled the population with Anti-Life. Awaiting my command to walk them off the Ark. Elodie took a deep breath. "And what are you going to do with the Nikkes afterwards?" I stared at her. "This world has reached a dead end. They may do with it as they please" "Okay, so...you're NOT going to adopt them? Set up any kind of support structure?" "I will baptise them in fire so that their components will last forever-" "NOT what I'm talking about!" shouted Elodie as silently, some of the Nikkes screaming in horror as the first worthless sacks of organs start plummeting mindlessly from the edge. 3/4 "And, and if you look at gross national output" Elodie was ranting at a mile a minute, trying to convince me of this abhorrent place's necessity. And at last, coming up with something I deem worth hearing. "Furthermore. If you kill them now, you've just...made piles of inert organic matter, right? But if you let them live. Then. Any potential civilisation will understand the consequences of..." For a moment, she hesitated as she dwelled on why I had moved so quickly "...of the behavioural pattern you are trying to monopolise" "I deem your protest logical" I said, turning back to the Nikkes. The Ark gently floated down to the surface, guided by my will. "Leave, and enjoy your freedom. Stay, and protect the worthless from inevitable dissolution. The choice is yours" "...I don't understand. Are you our new commander?" asked one. "I am a system correcting a great outbreak of chaos. Nothing more" I told her. "You are safe now. Forget me" I watched the humans start screaming as Grail reluctantly lifted the Equation, giving them back free will. I no longer considered burning them all to ash, but as the more compassionate Nikkes tried to comfort them I lashed out mind to mind-instilling a series of memetic triggers similar to childbirth, an anal prolapse and lethal depression all at once triggered upon any form of intentional malice directed at a Nikke. Across every human in the Ark. "There. NOW you are safe" I breathed, turning my back on that world as Elodie winced but also breathed a huge sigh of relief while Grail bumped her again on our way back. ... A couple weeks later, a bunch of Nikkes showed up on my doorstep asking where I lived. I made them some food and told them to go away and never think about this place again and to live blissfully ignorant of a multiverse full of uncaring cruelty. Several days after that, MORE Nikkes showed up for some unfathomable reaosn. 4/4

>>82933 [Fate/Grand Order redux] Grail and Elodie sat opposite to each other in Chaldea’s canteen, the former’s eyes almost literally burning a hole in the latter. There was a time when Elodie would have mustered the righteous contempt to raise her Bounded Field, or let fly a Phoenix Force Falcon, or just stab something, but after the intellectually and physically taxing events of the last few days all she could do was silently raise her mug of coffee in surrender. “Look, I know this is-“ she began. “I hate you” interrupted Grail. “I know, I know. All I’m saying is that-“ “You’re a conniving little brat who plays the victim while playing other people against each other”, said Grail, looking out the window at the not quite bleached Earth as she started to file her fingernails. “And you let other people fight your battles for you before you stab them in the back” “That’s not fair. I gladly risked time dilated imprisonment in one of your black holes to take you down with me when you tried to destroy India. I fought you for a month without rest at the Azure Galaxy while survivors evacuated” said Elodie with quiet venom. Grail stirred her coffee. “Yes, and? I was listing all the reasons why I RESPECT you more than Wonder Woman in spite of all that”. She sighed, taking a sip. “No, I hate you because no matter what you do from hereon, you’ll always be his favourite” “…oh” said Elodie, thrown. “Right to the end he wanted you back in the fold” “Well…If we’re being honest? I always thought one day I’d have to save Anon from you” Grail laughed mirthlessly. “You’re the one who spent thousands of years trying to kill him…and you think I’M anything but happy to be his weapon. Out of every wrong in the greater multiverse, his greatest betrayer just HAD to be the one exception to his wrath” “H-hey. Don’t sell yourself short, he let you hold the Equation didn’t he?” “…true” “Sounds to me like you’re his favourite weapon, at least” 1/5 Alarms blared in Chaldea as another Singularity was forming. “Mashu Kyrielight, reporting for duty-oh, i-is this a bad time?” she asked, sensing the tension in the air. Behind her, a very clumsy President of Earth was getting stuck in the doorway and swearing bloody vengeance on Chaldea’s contractor architects. “Not at all” drawled Grail, getting up and cracking her neck. Throwing a baleful look at Elodie, she said “If you’re going to be a fixture, you might as well be a useful one. It has been a long week. We’re dealing with this. WITHOUT bothering our master” “Sure but-deal with this?” asked Elodie, confused. “I thought you guys were worsening the Singularities on purpose to sabotage the Human Order or something” “It’s a case by case basis thing” explained Mashu. “Senpai prefers boots on the ground to recruit potential comrades, or resources. We herald the cauterising purity made in asnwer to the Human Order’s gangrenous apoptosis” “Aw, you memorised my propaganda drafts!” said Grail, ruffling Mashu’s hair. “Attagirl” “…so are we just Rayshifting in or-“ asked Elodie as a Boom Tube erupted. “No. We are, in fact, using a far more technologically superior means of accessing displaced realities” said Grail smugly. “I SEE. And we’re NOT going to use the typical traits of a Boom Tube to suddenly scale up to New God sizes and just pick up the planet like a marble-“ rambled Elodie as all the usual steps of investigating a Singularity were skipped in favour of just arriving at the crisis zone. “Not a thing anymore in my time. And even if it was I wouldn’t. I like fighting dirty, but I like FIGHTING more” said Grail as a horde of screaming Illyas ran up to them Elodie wondered for a second if she was going to have to stop Grail from massacring innocent Ilyas, when suddenly all of them went floating into a big ball. UUUU-Olga had forced herself into the party. 2/5

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“Ha HA haha ha HA ha!” she laughed atonally, “NEVER fear my citizens, with my superior might I’ll be able to deal with these unsightly rebels with a snap of my fingers!” “Hooray! The sweet mercy of death!” said the nearest Illya. “Or I can…save them…uh, voters what should I do?” she asked. “Well, I vote we drop a Genesis Box on this mess and reduce it to a bag full of QP” said Grail sourly. “I vote we investigate further” said Elodie cautiously, with Mashu timidly nodding behind her. Grail scowled. “Yes, that’s one reason he wants to keep you around. More lateral thinking. Fine. Lead the way, PRINCESS” UUUU-Olga declared she was ready to carry out the will of the people while the people followed either Grail or Elodie’s lead (it was not clear who was actually in charge) to locating the source of the Singularity. At it’s centre, it appeared that Miyu had changed her Saint Graph. And also gone mad with isolation, become the leader of a cult, and contacted an extradimensional reservoir of milk-like magical energy she was converting into Ilyas with which she intended to repopulate the sorta-Bleached Earth with. “Ahhh welcome, my faithful…ENLIGHTENED… CULTURED…brethren” she babbled madly. “Have you heard the good news about our Lady and Savior Ilya?” “N-no?” said Elodie as Grail frantically tried to discourage her from engaging with a gag character. Miyu took this opportunity to start ranting about how after being told to go on holiday for her mental health she’d gotten sick of playing with fairies, so she started imagining the fairies as Ilyas, and if fairies could be Ilyas, then everyone could be Ilyas, and therefore everyone and everything should be Ilyas. “…so, what do you normally do now?” asked Elodie. “Violence” said Grail grimly. Elodie held out her hands for a time out. “Let’s all be reasonable here. I think…I THINK I can get Ms. Edelfelt to see why she might be, uh. Wrong” “Haha, what? Did I just catch you disrespecting the holy name of ILYA?!” raved Miyu. “But I’ll need some help” added Elodie, “from all of you” 3/5 Mashu, who was secretly happy for everyone to be friends again, eagerly contributed by summoning a shadow Servant of Chloe in the midst of Elodie’s Noble Phantasm. UUUU-Olga, who just wanted to be liked, high handedly and grandiosely supplied the mana (“Presidential-class NUCLEAR mana!”). And Grail, who Elodie couldn’t help but notice by now seemed to be testing her, stood aside and acted moody but silently started wiping black Grail Mud off herself and flinging over her shoulder when Elodie actually asked for some. The darkened magical energy went brr as it touched the conduit to the Ilyaverse, percolating together like delicious chocolate milk. Suddenly many more Ilya-based Saint Graph magical energy signatures appeared, and forming into the Ilya subspecies known as Chloe. “Hi everyone, it’s me! Chloe von Einzbern, the incarnate magical energy of Ilya!” said all the Chloes at once. “ILYAS FOR THE ILYA GOD” screamed Miyu, “ILYAS FOR THE ILYA THRONE!!!” “And I am also” said the Chloes, leaning forwards, “The Calamity of Editing”. Miyu froze in place. “E-eh?” “Miyuuuu” said the Chloes with eerie synchronicty, “have you been working on your manga? Your MANGA, Miyu? How can you call yourself a MANGAMAKER if you haven’t even written a single CHAPTER in all the weeks you’ve been here?” “W-well, y’see, I’ve been distracted by…? “By…? “…Ilya” With a sudden messy implosion, all the Chloes fused together into a GIANT SWIMSUIT WEARING CHLOE which due to it’s connection to the Ilyaverse also had a giant Ilya hanging out of it’s torso. The CALAMITY OF EDITING stomped around punching the Ilya sprouting out of it like a punching bag, smashing through the ritual implements of the cult and destabilising the Singularity. “Waaah I’m so sorry for everything I see now Ilya can be a force of great destruction as well as hugs and cuddles bweeeeh save me Chaldeawomen” wailed Miyu. 4/5 “And now all the local crimes against ontology are amalgamated into one place, we shoot them” explained Elodie, “all at once” Grail turned to Elodie with a look of contemptuous disbelief. “THIS was your plan? Crossing the streams? Really?!” “Hell yeah! You in or what?” demanded Elodie, raising her crystal. With a snarl of disgust, Grail let fly a twin pair of Omega Beams just as a golden blade of Lumen magic, a blast of stabilised space-time from Mashu and a presidential black hole hit THE CALAMITY OF EDITING at the same time. A wave of chocolate milk washed over the entire Singularity, Elodie triumphantly flying above it on falcon wings while Mashu surfed, Olga flew, and Grail repeatedly dunked Miyu’s head in the pseudo-water to punish her. “Oh hey, you guys solved the Singularity before I got there” I said casually, waiting outside as it collapsed. “And I see you’ve both SUCCESSFULLY recruited several new Servant Saint Graphs while working together, yes?” “Yes, Master” chorused everyone dutifully except Elodie who said “Yes, Anon” instead. “We don’t have to talk about what happened in there. We are NOT in fact going to talk about what happened in there. I’ve been putting up with shit like that ever since the CHALDEAS units have been running-“ “Presidential Planets” interrupted UUUU-Olga. “-because I’m this close, THIS CLOSE, to the endgame. And that’s why we need all hands on deck and working togethier here in the endgame” I finished. “Your will be done” said Grail passionately, “with NO further betrayals”. I patted the shaved side of her head. “Good job. And hey! I appreciate you” I said, walking off to politely give everyone the pretence I wasn’t aware of their every word. … “I’m going to be riding this high for a whole week” said Grail dazedly, touching her scalp. “Grail, I hate you right back” said Elodie, brows furrowed, ‘but I also just lost some respect for you”. “Wow, however will I recover. OH, I know!” said Grail, radiating smugness, “Have I mentioned that BECAUSE of the power imbalance between Anon and I, I also get to FUCK him while you’re stuck in the doghouse?” Elodie gawked at her in speechless, disbelieving, confused horror. “WHAT?!” 5/5

[Who Made Me A Princess] Drawback: Plot Magnet (1200) Royalty Like A Fairy Tale (Free) Jeweled Eyes (Free) Scary Motherfucker (1100) Forbidden Sorcery (900) Warlock (600) Branch of the World Tree (0) Noble Wardrobe (Free) Emperor Claude de Alger Obelia fixed the court with his steeliest, most nerve-wracking stare as he watched his tiny terrified daughter protest her confinement in the Ruby Palace. He furrowed his brow, one nerve pulsing on his temple. "Enough. We will consult my grand vizier on this matter" "...G-grand Vizier? Eh?! Father, since when have you ever had a Grand Vizier?" "Why daughter, how could you have possibly forgotten your LEGITIMATE half-brother who has ever been my trusted spymaster, underhand and general troubleshooter ever since he graduated top of his class at Warlock University?" he said archly, as I strode into the royal court. It was as impressive an entrance as Charles' fell moods. My monocle gleamed with royalist malice, as I twiddled my moustache with such sublime smugness that nearby courtiers started feverishly imagining the schemes I was about to set in motion. A slight nod or an ironic leer was all it took to conjure the possibilities of blackmail I had on any member of the court-save of course, it's ultimately authority. "Grand Vizier. How progresses your assessment of my daughter's correspondences?" asked Charles, as my sister sputtered in protest "It is already done, my Emperor and father. I have completed my tactical assessment in triplicate. Aside from the task you assigned me, there is another pressing matter but it can wait" "Smart boy. Unlike SOME of my children, you always were punctual" "For starters, there is no evidence Princess Athanasia has any intention or association with poison-related assassinations. Indeed, I would go so far as to say the Princess DOES NOT COMPREHEND the composition of poisons given yesterday, she tried to eat a mouldy putting. It is no exaggeration, my emperor, to say the princess is more successful at poisoning herself than any othe member of your household" "I-it smelled fresh though!!" protested my sister as ignoring her, I moved on. "I have here for you a comprehensive file on how the princess is naive to the politics of the realm, and has had no contact with the outside world. This was verified by-" "Get to the point boy, you know full well YOU verify everything" "-as you command. In short, Athanasia is not a threat to you politically save in one regard" The room dropped a solid two degrees. "Elaborate" said Claude icily as Athanasia fidgeted. "Speaking bluntly, her present existence is a deadweight loss on the throne's economy, and reflects poorly on the throne" I spoke smoothly. "It served the throne's purpose to isolate her in a hovel, and now it burdens the throne to have a member of royalty living like a peasant. Dissidents can always be...disappeared, but the optics alone could foment resentment in the future" "Recommend a solution" "She is not a legitimate heir, so use her as figurehead. A people's princess" I said, clasping my hands together villainously. "When your schedule permits, I suggest a grand tour in which you publicly take her on long walks in the garden, pamper her with a jewels and gifts, and refurbish the Ruby Palace. I know an excellent, affordable contractor who may or may not be a magical raccoon that can get the job done for less than the cost of one (1) royal banquet. You and your daughter will then coordinate to have her publicly donate the excess funds and a percentage of those gifts to improve public works; I will of course run the numbers so this is affordable" "Fools" I concluded, as Athanasia blinked owlishly at me and he matched my villainous chin-stroking, "ask if it is better to be loved or feared. The wise man knows that in times of plenty, it is a show of strength to be both. The funds used to sustain Athanasia's living quarters can be reinvested into a long-term political tool for your kingdom's stability. They will love you for pampering her, and respect you for teaching her to be a noblewoman who looks after the commonfolk, and thus you will temper their fearful respect with admiration. You will even be an aspirational patriarch, for all the fathers of the empire"

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"...it is as you say. Byblow or not, we must make use of all the resources of this court for the sake of my rule. Including my own blood" said Claude, nodding. "See to it, then. Now, the pressing matter?" "Yes. There IS an imminent threat to your reign: Magical interference" I said, presenting two amulets to Claude. "I have evidence there is a malignant spirit haunting this castle, and it's target is Jennette" "WHAT?!" "Yes, you can tell from the miasma of black magic surrounding her which is definitely from an external source. Anyway, that's another reason why you should take a royal holiday and publicly pamper and adore this illegitimate girl. Hopefully it will trick the spirit into avoiding Jennette when it thinks Athanasia is your preferred child. Moreover, there are complex magical theories suggesting that headpats, cuddles and the parent-child bond are anathema to evil spirits' "Yes. Yes, at once! My Grand Vizier, I am leaving at once to save my Jennette. I trust you to watch the throne while I'm gone" said Claude, striding with purpose as he picked up Athanasia by the scruff of her neck. "Come, child. You will be loved AND pampered. This is non-negotiable" I sat back in my throne, my diabolical plan to secure the empire's stability by tricking Claude into becoming a loving father for Athanasia having come to fruition.

Pokémon Infinite Fusions League Trainer Engineer Affinity 100 (Dragon/Flying) Stronger Together Lucky Encounters 100 Rare Candy 200 Splicer Science Storage Sorcerer 100 Savant Specialist (Fusion) 200 The Bigger Bag Helpful Machines Pokémon Daycare 200 Partner Bulbasaur+Mudkip Domestic Fusion Friend Shaped Day In, Day Out 100 Pedigree 200 Custom Sprite Pick & Choose 100 Power Surge 200 DNA Splicers Secret Forest 200 Pokémon GSC Human Rookie Trainer Slip and Slide Walking With Pokémon Pokémon Breeder 100 Pokeathlete 100 Pure 200 The Incredibly Pretty Jumper 100 DRAGONITE, HYPER BEAM 400 Badge Case Pokewalker 300 Trainer ID Pokedex Beginners Allowance Beginners Item Set Pokegear Rage Candy Bar 50 Starter+Import 50 A Fairy Tale

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Annoying Calls +100 Horrible Level Curve +200 Bulbasaur + Mudkip Sweet Scent Shiny Pokéathletic 100 Pokerus 200 Flames of Rebirth 300 This is the fifth entry into a pokemon chain wherein I talk about my jumper like I'm a youtuber doing lore vids. Scroll up for the rest Sorry for the radio silence dear viewers, I was replaying Heartgold. Anyways, I'm back now and I'm here with the next part about the Pokémon universes biggest mystery, Faru. And let me tell you that I'm hyped as hell because the Johto remakes are some of Faru's biggest bullshit moments. And I am specifying the remakes because Faru wasn't in the GSC games. Sadly. Anyways, Johto. Timeline wise, this takes three years after FRLG and RSE, and more or less at the same time as DPPt. Despite that, there are some fairly large inconsistencies in Faru's supposed character arc. In FRLG he's clearly just starting out. In RSE, he's a smidge older. In DPPt however, Faru is old as fuck... and then in HGSS, he's back to been maybe early teens. There is something shady as hell with this guys personal timeline and I do NOT know what it is. Sure, he has some adventures in side content, but that's not enough to lose a couple of decades. But I digress. Less metaplot, more actual plot. For now. You first encounter with Faru is in Ilex forest, where he is seemingly practicing music of some kind. According to him, he's helping with ecological recovery after a certain incident two years ago. No idea what this is, it's never mentioned again. After that, he wanders off for a bit until you make your way to Ecruteak city, where he's watching the Kimono Girls dance. Talk to him again and he'll mention having fought your rival, then leave. This pattern repeats for a while, with him showing up in various random places. Eventually though, something changes. You get to fight him. Once you have all three legendary beasts captured, you can go back to the burnt tower, where he will offer to fight you. Unlike his normal battles, he only has five Pokemon. Venusaur, Swampert, and the three legendary birds. All of them are shiny, because Faru just flexes like that sometimes. Levelwise, he does his normal gimmick of scaling based on how many badges you have. This means he can now have a team ranging from 7 (no badges, not actually possible) to 135 (all 16 badges). If you're disappointed by this, don't worry, we aren't over yet. He shows back up twice more. The first of those times is on top of Mount Silver, after fighting Red. More specifically, you get to team up with Red in a double battle against him. His team is now Venusaur, Typhlosion, Swampert, Infernape, Mew, and Thufizer, all at 135 once more. And if you're wondering what the fuck Thufizer is, don't worry, so is everyone else. To solve that, let me take you on a little trip down memory lane. Pokémon is, fundamentally, a multimedia franchise. There's the card game, the videogames, anime, manga, videogames about the anime and the card games, books, more merchandise than six pikachu could shake sticks at - you get the idea. Thufizer is one of those theoretical pokemon that technically exist but never made it into the game. Like how one of the manga had a Pikachu-Azumaril hybrid Pokémon. More specifically, Thufizer is from another manga, and is a scientific experiment created by Team Rocket wherein they have attempted to fuse the legendary birds together into one Pokémon. So yeah, he's basically fighting you with bird-cerebus, aka all three legendary birds at once. And mechanically? It has four types. Ice, Electric, Fire, and Flying. Weak to Water and Rock, immune to Ground, resistant to fying, steel, and fire, and double resistant to bug and grass. I mentioned it was level 135, right? This is possibly one of the biggest fuck you's I've seen from Nintendo, and that's with Faru intentionally being their hidden superboss. Thank god Red is here to help out, you need all 12 pokemon to have an even playing field. Anyways, if you do manage it, Faru just starts laughing for a while, before giving you an egg that will hatch into the Hoenn starter weak to yours and the Sinnoh starter strong against you. After that, unless you're very lucky, he basically disappears. See, the last fight against Faru is based on an event distributed Pokémon. Specifically, Celebi. You may remember this as the event Pokémon that lets you fight Giovanni, but turns out you can use it twice. Just, you know, not until after you fight the superboss. Anyways, take Celebi back to Ilex Forest and Faru will be there again, playing more music. Celebi jumps out, spins around him, and then he vanishes. The player runs up to where Faru was, and Celebi boinks them too. You wake up in what looks like Cerulean Cave. With Gen 1 graphics. There are no wild pokemon here, and the entrance has been removed. Just navigate through the cave until you reach where mewtwo would normally be and Faru will be there, standing in front of the guy. He doesn't really say anything - by default, his text is actually scrambled into another language, randomly chosen from whatever you don't have selected currently. So he could spit some stuff at you in Portuguese or French. Then a battle starts. He throws out a missingno. It's level 115, and has the stats, typing, and movepool of Rayquaza. This is his only Pokémon. After beating him, he doesn't say anything and leaves. Mewtwo gives you a strange item called a Lock Capsule, then you teleport back to Ilex via the Celebi express. Faru does not rejoin you. Backtracking a smidge, Faru's words, while technically meant to be mysterious, do exist in the games code in English, and so are easy to access. "This world is broken and fragmented. Edges do not join, and the way forwards leads elsewhere. Where have my friends gone? ...And why are you here, [Playername]? Or should I call you [Default Playername]?" So first of, this is crazy as hell. Secondly, this is creepy as hell. The closest explanation I can even think of to this shit is that Faru is dealing with some sort of glitchy nonsense, which, you know, makes no sense at all because glitches are flaws in the games code that technically shouldn't exist in a 'real' world. Not only that, but Faru addresses you as Ethan/Lyra depending on your gender in addition to the name on your save file. WHY does Faru address you as the default player name? And where the hell did he get a Missigno that thinks it's a Rayquaza? This is why Johto is my favorite instance of Faru - it has so much weird shit, and not a single drop of explanation for how or why. Where did he get fusion tech? Why does he have a Missingno? Where did Celebi send him? In theory this is just some random kid from Viridian, but it really does seem like he embodies the 'god has allowed me to live another day and I am about to make this everyones problem' meme, because god damn, this guy has no breaks. ...Well, I say there's no real explanation for any of this, but that's not quite true. We get something in Sun and Moon, but that's for a future episode.

There were so many worlds out there. They called it the Verse, the metaconcert of all conceivable realities-yet they were, all of them, fragile around the edges. Fragile, but not unstable. Brittle, but with hints of unfurling complexity within some, unrepeatable patterns of possibility in others. If the worlds of the Dark Multiverse were akin to cosmic detritus, then these worlds were like snowflakes. Beautiful yet ephemeral, a doomed dance of chance and whimsy. Until the gaze of the Supreme Logos turned upon them. Until the incarnate Law made them real. Until pushing my will against the skein of their laws, I created an avatar under their logic to explore them. To make them real under their friction of my will exercised upon their causality and metanarratives. As a man carves art from a whale’s tooth. One strand of destiny, I thought, staring at the nearest one. One emanation of my divine self. Defying death, going on forever, testing and iterating to become the truest practice of my principle-but still, that was all I needed. That was all this world could likely take. [“Tarot adventure CYOA”] My manifested history flashed before my eyes as my avatar took form. A would-be scholar of little import, from a world that was more dream than legend. A fleeting surge of the isekai phenomena. A wise yet helpless wizard, warning me of the coming of shadow and the hope of light. A flash of tarot cards, many of whom turned away in stately indifference-yet one of whom tumbled alongside me. A curious waif. A many-splendoured jester. A fool. And another of which slipped itself around me like a cowl, before dropping a crown upon my head. >Call Upon: The Emperor I manifested in a manner so grandiose and sumptuous, it somehow conveyed the personality of the owner (myself, I intuitively realised) without any graven image or depiction. Lush aureus hues blended seamlessly in a vein of stone that was not quite marble. A throne carved from a solid piece of stone oversaw a banquet table that could have seated dozens of men. The windows seemed those of a basilica. Through a half-opened corridor, I could see enough hunting gear and armour to outfit whole legions. And the clothes on me: Fur softer than mink, embroidered leathers that breathed like a second skin, boots that fit like gloves and made the floor feel privileged to be walked upon. And of course, the crown. Gleaming like solid sunlight. My own visage dazzled me like sunlight off a pond, and for a moment even I felt compelled to give myself a nod of respect. “…alright, I know this is the most natural path for things to take” I said finally, to the ineffable forces that had brought me here, “but don’t you think this is a bit much?” There was only silence. And the vague sense that the mansion was in some undefinable sense, aggressively MASCULINE. >Assistance: The Fool “Who’re you talking to?” I blinked. “The abstract spirits of the Tarot, who have crowned me this world’s saviour” I said finally, having no real reason to lie. “Oh. How splendid! I oft talk to things unseen and invisible as well” confessed the strange squatting girl who had been perched atop one of the marble columns nearby for some time now. She dressed like a whore pretending to be an assassin pretending to be a clown. Her hair is not quite red enough to be natural, and combined with her not-quite asian, not quite european features the result was almost uncanny if she also didn’t have the kind of lithe frame and strategically stacked puppy fat that made old men wish a little girl would grow up sooner. She was also doing handstands on the pillar while juggling kitchen knives with her feet. “Did the cards send me an acrobat for assistance?” I asked. “Acro-what? Sorry, I got bored waiting for you to stop staring at the mirror and there were all these fascinating ledges so I just…” she shrugged, “figured out how to make the most of them” “Interesting. I was regarding myself for exactly 4 minutes 35 seconds, and you picked that all up…tell me, what do you know of this world?” “Nothing” she said brazenly. “Nothing?” I echoed. “Not a damned thing” she confirmed. “Well, I know a little more. I know that this land is under threat from great evil, an evil we do not know the form of nature of, and as such I am the only one you can trust. Absolutely” The girl was clearly gifted and fortunate beyond her years and stature. Alas, her naivete would prove lethal. Or highly useful. Her eyesbrows shot high and she nodded furiously with the belief of the innocent. I set out to learn all I could about this land. Perhaps a knight would have gone on a legendary quest, or a rogue stolen ill-gotten gains. Perhaps a magician could have defined it’s boundaries from a pool of water under moonlight. My talents lay elsewhere. I simply invited myself to the nearest gathering of nobility, declared myself visiting royalty, and the great and “good” of the land instantly accepted me as one of them (and the girl, the Fool, as my court jester. The next thought was, of course, what such a lovely girl could have done to be reduced to a court jester).

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Over flagons of mead and slabs of roasted boar I learned more of the land. Medieval, for the most part. Three continents, each connected by bridges of unusually advanced make. The prophecy concerned the third and only truly inhospitable one to the south. Which was where the foretold evil would arise from. I took all this consideration alongside my own powers and those of my companion (who was polishing her own weight in stuffed pheasant, getting gravy all over her fat tits) and came to an epiphany: I lacked the means to definitively kill a potentially immortal evil, but didn’t actually have to. “My friends” I told the carousing nobles, “I have a proposal to our mutual benefit. You’ll all get rich, and I’ll have a force stationed to reinforce the bridges” “But how?” exclaimed the nobles. “Armies cost money to upkeep, you know!”. I drummed my fingers on the table. “Tell me…are you familiar with the concept of a tournament? I propose we host one across both our lands. A chance for the greatest of champions to win gold and glory, and for peasants to win a king’s ransom. And not just arms. I will create an incent-I mean, a glorious boon for anyone who can smash the southern bridges, and another for anyone who can render them impassable” “But O king!” cried the nobles, as my Fool drank her bodyweight in mead, “boons cost money!” “And there is the trick of it” I said. “We will weave a tale of this tournament, as glorious as your finest bards can make it. And to merely participate, peasant and lord alike will contribute a pittance. Not a tax, but a contribution-a privilege! And thus, gold will flow like a river to create the promise boon” And so compelling were my words that my Fool was vowing to be the one to earn all boons until I gently reminded her it was but a pretence. We travelled the lands, my heralding of the threat from the south inspiring awe from the peasantry, fascination and concern from the merchants, intrigue from the wizardry-and once again, opportunism from the nobility. Two coliseums were erected, and two sections of the bridge cordoned off for destructive testing. I travelled often between both bridges, fanning the flames of interest in both. The clash of sword on shield, the spark and crackle of magic, and the fizzle of alchemical brew revitalised a dozen industries and created a dozen more. My Fool travelled with me, and with my patronage she learned from wisemen and warriors of the land eager to curry favour with me for a discounted entry. I thought myself prepared. But fortune makes fools of us all. “How did you do that?” I said, staring at the northwestern bridge, shattered down the middle. “I don’t know” she confessed, covered in ash. “I was just mixing potions together one day, and I thought I’d try igniting them with this star-calling priest’s curse…and everything went white” “You have the cantrip recorded at least, right? Right?” I asked desperately. “I’m sorry” she said, fidgeting, “the knowledge tore itself from my mind and the scroll it was written on burned up! It’s like the knowing of the spell was the sacrifice for casting it!” We both saw smoke rising from the southern island. By then, we both knew teleportation magic. Wordlessly, we appeared at the front of the defenders on the other continent. We never met the invading evils. All my mortal form’s eyes could make out was an endless row of marching figures in rusty black armour, jagged spines and leathery hide erupting from within. Crude parodies of halbards lifted high. Behind them, all was ablaze, and the faces of the damned appeared in those flames. But the men didn’t balk with their Emperor on the front lines. “Third place winners: FIRE!” I roared. Catapults launched, and trebuchets shot true. Bundles of alchemical solution exploded into baths of unquenchable blue fire, and folded steel shattered against another age’s bridge. The hordes marched onwards-walking even when bisected or cut to pieces. They moved like puppets on strings, joints bending hard enough to snap tendons if need be. “SECOND PLACERS: AIM HIGH! CUT OFF THEIR BACK LINES” I shouted. I knew these were where the disease-mages, the crude chemical war-alchemists and the explosive caltrop-containing payloads tended to place. This much I knew about the enemy from foreign reports: They may have fielded winged horrors and wraiths, but they still needed boots on ground. “FIRST PLACERS! GLORY IS YOURS!” I bellowed. Up close the hordes were not just inhuman, not just damned-but unliving. The ravages of siege weaponry left rotting skin exposed, and corrosive ichor leaked from gaping eyesockets. There was a grand champion at the head of the hordes, a giant of a man in burning armour-but it was the smog, the cinders and ashes wrought form the devastation. I was certain. The miasma of combustion followed above them like a hungry, angry cloud alight with all the furies of war itself. But they didn’t reckon with a wizard who could launch a miniature star. A warrior who had trained to cut through a forest with one mighty blow. An alchemist who bottled the essence of winter in a flask. And of course, my own Fool who had learned a mystical dance that bade metal remember the forge-burning the enemy alive in their own armour. No one man could have stopped that army. But it was in my nature to unite all men. At last the forces of desolation tried to retreat-but by my foresight found themselves hemmed in. And the destruction they brought with them had withered a bridge already under a day-long siege. For a moment, the smog above formed itself into the semblance of an ancient, metal-clad king not unlike the champion. With a wordless cry of anguish and yearning, it reached out one gauntleted hand over the bridge. “As one tyrant to another” I told it, “this land isn’t yours to conquer” The bridge collapsed. The hordes fell. The smog was blown away by the wind, with barely a whimper to mark it’s passing.