[Not Another Teen Movie]
Drawbacks: Not Again, The Right Moment (1200)
Jock
Soundtrack (Free)
Health Conventions (Free)
Drama-free (Free)
Just Another Comedy Cut (1000)
Location Convention (900)
Movie Montage (700)
Chad (Free)
Rallying Spirit (600)
Thundercock (400)
VIP Pass (300)
Mansion (200)
Allowance (Free)
Wardrobe (Free)
Lucky Football (Free)
CreateX8 (Free)
-NerdX4: Soundtrack (Free), Health Conventions (Free), Drama-free (Free), Just Another Comedy Cut (Free), Brains Behind The Braces (Free), Queen Bee (300), Chad (200), Artist (100), Art Stash (Free), Mansion
-CheerleaderX4: Soundtrack (Free), Health Conventions (Free), Drama-free (Free), Just Another Comedy Cut (Free), Queen Bee (Free), Chad (200), Popularity Princess (100), Mansion (0)
“Oh god, what year is it?” my mortal avatar ranted while my godhead carefully parsed down enough omniscience to prevent it’s head from exploding. As it ran through the dysfunctional but surprisingly well-furnished school full of alleged teens who were clearly young adults, I couldn’t help but notice the idea that jocks bullied nerd and that white girls basically ran highschool through sheer meanness was still in place, narrowing things down. “Is it before or after the year 2014? Guys this is important, I need to know if it’s too late”
“Um like, what’re you talking about?” asked one of my sisters. “It’s the turn of the millennium bro, alcohol and mob mentality is still cool!”
“And like, so is MSM” added another.
“Also despite being a highly attractive and physically fit woman of many talents, we’re going to pretend I’m a wilting wallflower” added one of my former wallflower childhood friends turned big-tiddied childhood friends, who could’ve been some sort of model if it wasn’t for her nerd-coded glasses.
“Or that goth girls aren’t like the other girls” added another, who’d gone the goth girl route instead. I let out a sigh of relief. “Okay. Great. Two things. First of all get a job, I don’t care what job, get employed while you still CAN. Second of all, who here owns property?”
“I do!” chorused everyone present. “And we’re going to invite half the school over to get cuh-rahzee~” “NOPE, no you’re not” I interrupted, “because in a few more years the subprime mortgage crisis is going to set off a downward spiral of absolute shitfuckery and…okay, half of you will get what I mean and half of you might as well be blonde brick walls, but the important thing is IF we keep the property values UP and HOLD ON to what we have instead of specu-uh, spending our money on extra stuff, we will be in the top 1% of most important Americans for hundreds of miles. I’m just saying that if we DON’T ruin our lives in college and maybe start investing in AI before it takes off, we’ll be on track to literally rule the western hemisphere. Sound good?”
“Uh…like, whatever?” chorused everyone. “Hey so like, what about incest? Can we get some of your dick if we’re not allowed to get wasted and have all those teen orgies middleaged Hollywood writers assume everyone is having all the time?” asked a third sister. “Oh, it’s one of THOSE worlds! First time I’ve been to a harem anime setting in a predominantly American culture” I said, “but sure I’ll become an American siscon oniichan if it means keeping you guys in school while the cultural zeitgeist is all slutty and stuff”
“Haha, you’re silly!” said a third scene girl-type childhood friend. “It almost sounds like you mean being constantly horny, looking like an airbrushed swimsuit model and drooling after cute guys ISN’T the pinnacle of feminism in America!”
“R-right, yeah, imagine an America like that” I said nervously as I kept the secrets of the far-flung future to myself.