[A Record of a Mortal's Journey to Immortality: Immortal Arc]
Drawbacks: A Record of a Jumper, It's Called Immortality For A Reason, Very Interesting Times, One With The Dao (2200)
True Immortal Realm
Heavenly Court
Timeskip Here, Timeskip There (Free)
Spiritual Roots: Fire (Free)
Welcome to Immortality (Free)
Revelations Upon Revelations (1800)
Chaotic Fate (1000)
Immortal One (Free)
Old Tricks (400)
Myriad Daos (100)
Immortal Cultivation Method (Free)
Immortal Origin Stones (Free)
Cultivation Supplements (Free)
Immortal Treasures (Free)
Immortal Badge (Free)
Eternal Serpent (0)
I stood on the roof of my northmost palace, contemplating the sheen of my own reflection in snowflakes blowing into my face (each of which struck with the power of gatling bullets) as I chanted sutras about how enlightened I was. The snowflakes shattered against me like lesser cultivators broken on the slopes of Mt. Tai.
"Darling, are you okay?" asked not!Elsa, my jade beauty from the lower realms. "I heard you're having difficulties with cultivation"
"Idiot post-mortal! He is having the exact OPPOSITE of problems with cultivation!" snapped not!Tatsumaki, puffing herself up into tall woman form. "He has cultivated so hard, merely by breathing his existence is drawn into the Daos! Unless we complete the Three Thousand Daos Divine Array...by MIDNIGHT!"
Not!Elsa drew herself up in offence. "I'll have you know that I'm actually a fragment of an Ice Dao ancestress! I was immortal before you were even born!"
"Then I'll just find a way to go back in time and be EVEN MORE IMMORTAL than you!!"
"Nah, it's fine. Just needed a few minutes to wrap my head around" I interrupted, then waved my hands vaguely at the sky "reality and illusion"
"How?" both women asked.
"Well for one thing, balancing disparate cosmic forces into a cohesive whole is my shtick. For another, I just remembered this was the perfect opportunity to use my Heian era omni-adaptation technique"
1/3
>Glory Incarnate, Exalted: Descending Hierarchy
"And for a third" I added, carving at the border between reality and illusion with my Primordial light, and ripping out yet another plot device bottle from the possibilities immanent in reality, "I'm just built different"
"
"What's a Heian era?" asked both women.
"You know that insignificant island off to the east of China?"[Expand Post]
"What do you mean? China is everywhere. China is everything"
"Oh right, it's probably so insignificant no cultivator has even bothered to register it's existence. Well nevermind" I said, pointing at the spinning Buddhist spirit wheel behind my head, "all you need to know is that I've been pouring all the Daos into this funny looking wheel and making it go BRRR, and now I'd be fine even if the Final Shape and my sheer force of will wasn't stabilising reality around me"
I went down to make breakfast, and found that a True Spirit Tiger was eating my cornflakes. "That's not grrrrrreat at all! You are courting IP infringement!" I shouted at Toh Ni the Divine Tiger General, combining the Daos of Time, Fire and Space to improvise the the technique Wheel-Turning Gridfire Formation and liberating him from existence. Coincidentally, Han Li showed up to make a social call, and exclaimed that was the favoured pet of Gu Huojin himself.
"Well, there goes my rewarding and fulfilling career in bureaucracy" I said with a sigh so profound it inspired a new breathing based cultivation method in the lower world. "Just my luck, just more enemies to kill"
"...are you sure about this? He is the current Lord of Heaven"
"Boy, don't talk to me about Lords of Heaven. If I've learned anything from travelling the multiverse it's that their thrones are all one bad day away from toppling."
"He's planning to sacrifice everyone to become the Dao Ancestor of Chaos!"
"Then I'll just have to become the Dao Ancestor of Order"
2/3
Han Li followed me around exclaiming that there was no such thing from the beginning of the world and I argued right back that I would MAKE such a thing happen in it's far future. As we waded through armies of lesser cultivators and I watered some Immortal Mushrooms with their blood while Han Li laid about him with Sword Dao, he startled when a Spirit Time Machine crashlanded on some young masters. "Get in. Now" ordered a voice from within. Mine.
"Where are we going? How does this machine control Space and Time Dao?" he asked.
We stopped off in a farflung future where all was destroyed except for a mysterious array of Light and Darkness. To Han Li's amazement, it created a single glass bottle which fused all Daos but focused the development of cultivation on only one out of three thousand of them, and then created another one, and another, until there were three thousand glass bottles. There, at the end of existence, I grew mushrooms that fed on the destroyed world and sprinkled them with all the bottles so that I could actualise this world's Final Shape into my own Dao.
Finally, I arrived to when Gu Huojin had just become the Dao Ancestor. Infuriated, he unleashed the greatest forces of Time and Chaos against me-
>Too Cool For Screentime, Katanagatari
-only to fall after an indeterminable point of time to my Heian era offscreening technique, backed up by the Dao of Order.
"...what even just happened?" asked Elodie, popping into existence.
"I beat him" I explained, as Han Li blinked in confusion.
"No, but how?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes!" exclaimed the Bigger Elodie, poking her head into reality. "I was in an even higher reality when it happened and even I didn't see anything! He just...vanished!"
Elodie stared at the Bigger Elodie, who shrugged, and then back at me. "Yeah, my bad" I said.
3/3