>>13804 You obviously should focus on your own problems first... but you know what? Try looking into it and see what happens if you are that interested. You also looked at your lying down physical body. Maybe you will find something in the process.

>>13788 >>9920 >For some reason I started crawling on my hands and knees at some point "Dimensional miasma". Dimensions where you don't have proper access or you didn't get used to the "air" yet do that and places of the psyche do this where you rarely "visit". Aka bottled up emotions. I had that in my teens too before I got good at energy work and lucid dreaming. >(which led me to falsely believe that myself in the car was wakefulness) Yet I had 2 different "sights" simultaneously and of equal vividness, the other being what had become a dashboard POV of this guy sitting in his car. So I'm just sitting there trying to handle this experience, frightened but reminding myself that I'm safe and in control of my environment, focusing on the reality of my hands and my body in the seat. Meanwhile this dude is so fucking loud ranting crazy shit at me. He spoke in what could be mistaken for the average negroidal vernacular, but it was actually kind of unique and distinct. I cannot emphasize enough the intensity, the mutual empathic terror we felt, and the steadily rising volume of his voice That was you. It was your bottled up emotions manifesting as a person.A shadow person I too had this with my sexual tensions. Becoming a large almost negroid like shadow being with a large dick and raping whatever that looked female in my dreams. Didn't really repeat for the last years tho >You know what kind of pain I'm in. I's gonna show you, where I is at... PAIN! Yeah. He said this for a reason. >When he pulled the trigger I was instantly relieved and grateful that he wasn't me Well... about this... No wonder I didn't read your post... That gun was my creation. A gun that has 1 sole purpose. Entering the psyche of anyone "who needs it" and the gun is able to manifest for the parts of yourself that "want to die". I created this gun long ago because... well... many people want and try to kill themselves when they are nearing awakening because all their shadow issues go berserk from the energetic overload. They usually fail, but not always. So instead of you trying to kill yourself IRL. Why not have a gun that attaches itself to any negative parts of yourself that just wants to kill itself? The gun was made by accident ofc but it was so efficient I let it be "passed around". This way no shadow issue can make people commit pointless atrocities and ruin their life forever if authorities get involved. It only attaches to a specific mindset. It's a sort of karma magnet. That can help resolve seemingly unresolvable karmic issues. People rarely realize that they are not their bottled up emotions and nor their shadow issues and "merge with it" because desperation and can ruin their life as a result. And people who didn't go through with negative experiences like those will just brand them as danger to society and ruin their life forever... not everyone gets a second chance when they are fully hooked on meds. And those whose brain chemsitry is altered with meds will face far more roadbloks on their spiritual journey. Still unsure how to help them because the entire playing field is altered for them. Completely forgot about it. Glad it could help you? Or sorry it happened Oh and being 2 passengers in a car. That is how the 2 hemispheres of the brain works. 1 passenger is the conscious the other is the subconscious. When you go to sleep the other takes the wheel. (This was a rough explanation. In reality it is more complex. The brain switches "drivers" far too frequently during the day) >However my relief was short-lived as a dangerously powerful gust of wind, visibly carrying massive amounts of sand and dust, began to blow in the direction toward my windshield That was a sign that something opened up for sure. The sand feels like your brown "Misfortune" tho. >Was I simply reintegrating a disturbed fragment of myself? I forgot to mention this. You have a "mundane" or "ego shadow" which is a personification of your traumas. This dude blew his head up (be grateful he did it). And now your "true depth shadow" can manifest. If she manifests as a female then you will need to find your very own "Masculine shadow" too to be able to "merge with her". She will explain it for sure. She is part of you after all >Did some local hobowizard telepathically force me to witness his suicide? Or both? Yupp. Now you don't need to become that hobowizard IRL because he was nice enough to end it while it was still within your psyche only >You know what kind of pain I'm in You know exactly well that pain. Even if you wanted to ignore it for your entire life. >I's gonna show you, where I is at... Hope your suicidal tendencies went away with it too. For some reason you don't seem suicidal. Might be the gift of your soul energies. Most people in your situation would be far more suicidal Don't be suicidal please. Even Smiley went into the ward because he started cutting himself as some edgy joke. I don't want smileys that act like emo girls All your "ego" shadow issues will have to go away before you can witness your own true depth. Might talk about your "dark feminine" later, but it's late for me here. This site came back online far later than I anticipated and I have a lot of work tomorrow. And I think I said a lot already anyway. You might need to digest it first. I fear that I am talking about these things little too casually and might appear uncaring. But you will have to accept that these things are "business as usual" while your psyche goes through the process. Everyone has these problems one way or the other. The best we can do is increase our awareness and try to overcome the issues without hurting ourselves and others as much as we can. Sometimes a little pain is necessary tho. We cannot truly avoid pain in this world of hurt

>>13802 >I too had to experience many types of suffering to have a way to be able to relate to certain people I wish to help in the future I guess it's a benefit to be able to empathize with different types of people, though it certainly doesn't feel like one. It's easy for me now to see someone who is acting retarded and getting hete for it, and understand how their suffering causes their behavior, and only feel sympathy for them. >As long as you have those energies you won't be able to ascend nor progress meaningfully Do I have to do something specific to get rid of them, or will they naturally dissipate as I improve? >I have seen people who are successful in their youth and once they hit a roadblock in their life they completely lose it. They spiral out of control because they just cannot accept failure in their life and they want to keep living as an immature vapid cunt and think everything they do will just "work out" and refuse to change in any way whatsoever. Reading this made me feel better about my 'wasted' youth. Media and cultural programming convince people to revere youth, and give the impression that fun is not allowed after a certain age. I've been noticing how old people especially love to do this, constantly telling younger people how their mind and body are going to inevitably fall apart. It's like they're passing on the same parasitic thought form that fucked them up, just to feel a tiny bit of selfish consolation. >I was unwilling to remain a caged animal in this world of despair and delusion Lately I've been feeling this more and more. Everything in this world is fake and gay. That may sound like nihilism or apathy but it's actually the polar opposite. Nearly all human behavior is nothing but an aimless attempt at self-distraction. It's sickening to think about. >You mentioned you have several fire signs Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say several. Of my "Big Three" both my ascendent and moon are fire signs, and some other planets are too. (This is all from memory as I haven't studied astrology or my own chart in quite some time) If you're cool with it I might want to show you my chart at some point. 2 problems though: First of all my chart is stored on the HD of a broken computer. I can still access it but it will be tedious. Secondly I don't feel comfortable leaving it somewhere so public. Maybe I could throw it up until you DL it, then delete it. idk just something to think about. >Sorry I am not very well versed in fiction so I don't really get the reference but PKD was indeed a fiction writer, but the reference I made is to something that allegedly really happened to him. VALIS was what he initially called an "alien satellite" but later admitted was more of a spirit iirc who would occasionally download information into his mind via what he perceived as a pink laser. This was information that he would have no way of knowing, the most tangible example being his chronically ill son who had a rare disease. VALIS told him exactly what it was, the Dr. checked for it, and sure enough the kid was able to be saved. His cosmology was that we are trapped in an artificial reality he called the "Black Iron Prison" created by the Romans in year 70-something A.D. He seems to be quite influential in both the occult and conspiracy communities overall. Discordianism, Neo-Gnosticism, etc. There's a lot more to the "story" and plenty of mysteries surrounding him. Glowies ransacked his house at one point iirc. I only read the first VALIS book out of 4 (he died mysteriously before finishing the 4th) and should probably get around to reading the rest considering how much his style of "awakening" resonates with me. There was also an old /fringe/ thread about his UFO experiences. His Man in High Castle is what first got me intrigued by Taoism btw. Something about dimension-jumping, which it kind of seems like Taoist texts could be alluding to in their own way. He found out that he was living simultaneous incarnations in VALIS too, and one was a Gnostic priest living outside of the simulation. >You need to meditate. Any type of void, silent mind or deep meditation types. She will appear and will talk to you if you are able to stay silent and attentive. Understood. I have extra physical impediments that make meditation more complicated. For example, I cannot lay on my back for more than 5-10 minutes or I will have a siezure. Lately I've been trying to get a schedule going again because visiting family fucked my whole system up. So far my current daily routine is quite successful, I can tell because I don't feel like shit when I first wake up. My Wim Hof game is getting good too. I'm starting to be able to take the full breaths without bracing my arms against my knees this was a pretty bad habit I was physically unable to break before I'm also working on transitioning to a keto diet. Currently experimenting with what kinds of foods I should buy and eat, before I fast for 48 hours (or however long it takes to reach ketosis). Then when that is established I can look into the TCM diet and fine-tune it even more to better support my spiritual activities Not only is Keto good for curing siezures, but I could tell it unlocks mind powers based on the times I reached it unintentionally, when I used to do regular fasts. >Protip btw. If you want my opinion on some matter then always post in the awakening thread. Good to know. You will probably see me post there soon. Already got some longposts in the works Then we can let the Intrusive Thoughters shitpost in peace I have so many WIP posts in txt documents right now it's ridiculous. It still takes me hours to complete one. Better than days or weeks, at least. >You replied to me in the help and guidance thread while mentioning 2 chants then you deleted that post. One chant was a kali chant. Which was the other again? Dhumavati https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp1HubAcaTQ That day after I had spent 5 whole days in the monstrous 'suffering realms' I was quite disturbed by the experience and thought Dhumavati was the right Mahavidya to help me, so I started listening to her mantra. It triggered this realization of why I'm so terribly afraid to let go of my attachments. So I started ranting about how >>6448 is right and I'm the "Chosen One" and thus responsible for saving my family's souls, and most of all the soul of my dead dog. Sorting out the trauma of his death is gonna be another longpost, and probably the most painful one and the reason I can't detach from my own misery is because abandoning them would be unforgivable. I was going to ask how I could either get a future guarantee of their safety or arrange for them to be saved so I can detach from the world and be free. Something along those lines pretty sure I deleted the txt doc for that post too unfortunately So then the Dhumavati mantra ended and I switched to Kali which instantly made me calm and normal again btw I don't understand why everyone says Kali is so spoopy. She seems nice to me. Dhumavati is actually spoopy but also entirely helpful and thus I aborted my post before it had even posted. But then I made the shorter post you saw instead, which I later deleted out of embarrassment. >And btw. Stop deleting your posts. Especially when you say useful things I can't promise I won't do it again because having that option gives me more freedom to post. However I will remember and take that into account. Sorry about that. I erased my schizopost out of shame, but ended up emulating their behavior anyway. I don't want to be like those guys...

>>13847 >Nearly all human behavior is nothing but an aimless attempt at self-distraction. If a human does something that doesn't further the human's attempt at sustainable mundane survival that doesn't hinder others more than it needs to, then it's a distraction until the human has done everything that the human can reasonably do to secure the survival of him or her and potentially loved ones, or just you if you're a hermit that's trying to detach from everything as quickly as possible. After that, one might say that all there is left to do is to entertain one's self, but that's wrong; there's still evolution left to do until you become a peak-6D STO and are ready to merge with the all. Fun is bad for your survival because it's a distraction, therefore it's bad for you and you shouldn't care to have fun. Just speedrun your way to the credits and skip all the fun along the way so you can quit the game that is the mental realm and its sub-games sooner. But really though, I've heard some occultists say that life is not only meant to teach you lessons, but that it's also meant to be enjoyed. Why is that?

>>13849 Being anti-fun wasn't my point at all.

>>13851 Yeah when I was showering earlier after posting that I kinda thought it wasn't; I needed to get that outta my system, though.

I hate the demiurge.

>>13854 why?

>>13855 Because he forces me to think sexual thoughts against my will and to desire social interaction against my will and for not letting me have schizoid personality “disorder” and for having me circumcised as a child and medicated since I was a little kid. Imagine what a human could accomplish if he went from birth to death never seeing another human. It would be heaven. He would become really spiritual.

>>13857 >what a human could accomplish if he went from birth to death never seeing another human. It would be heaven How many of the people you see are actually human in the modern world? They're animals, and it's not heaven, it's hell.

>>13857 >Because he forces me to think sexual thoughts against my will and to desire social interaction against my will and for not letting me have schizoid personality “disorder” and for having me circumcised as a child and medicated since I was a little kid This is not the Demiurge. This is the United States of America. Don't blame the demiurge for the crimes of the USA. The demiurge doesn't deserve to be punished for the crimes of the USA.

>>13858 >How many of the people you see are actually human in the modern world? They're animals, and it's not heaven, it's hell. I meant going from birth to death without seeing these types of animal-people either. Monastic isolation from mundanes, basically living in a world where you are cut off from other "two legged talking animals" if that's the vocabulary you prefer. You would be immune to any propaganda because you would have never been forced to go to school or watch tv.

>>13867 I'll make you a sigil for one of the things I found on my recent astral space travels (shared elsewhere) and if you are able to activate it, maybe you can do this by switching timeline. >one white cogwheel module with black center >Used as a support for psychic/mental abilities to create a greenhouse area on a planet, by extracting timelines with high vegetation growth and inserting them inside a dome of mist, which creates a concealed "temple" for the creator, possibly for developing into an astral space. Could be an old and bulky method for creating space colonies, probably not used much because the person doing this basically has to be "ascended" already, which makes it hard to set up new colonies considering these people don't normally interact with physical reality. Sigil is too difficult to use so no need to worry about accidental activation. Focus on this for as long as needed, imagining the blue circle as the deserted planets you want to move to, and the inner grey circle as your own greenhouse dome with its own climate. If you succeed, you'll "know" that you are in that place, feeling the warmth and seeing the free fruit growing on the trees, which will give you everything you need. Then at some point in the future you may move there (which may happen as you go to sleep one night).

>>13869 Not trying to be rude but I don’t trust your help bloodanon. Others have said it comes with strings attached and backdoors. Besides, what has been done in my life has been done and is to some extent irreversible.

>>13857 your reasons for hating him are valid >>13879 you don't like strings and backdoors?

>>13881 Strings are annoying when they get caught on your toenail, and backdoors are gross.

>>13883 strings are interesting lines backdoors are good protocol

>>13879 >it comes with strings attached and backdoors It's not something I add to my workings. Normally (as in this case) I just channel a combination of the board's needs, spiritual reality outside of it, and my own goals, uniting them into the form of posts. In more plain language, I'm allowing forces what were outside of the board's reach to manifest so that other users can interact with them in ways which are synchronized with their needs and my own intent. This creates an outline where things that may have been discussed in vague ways and seemed beneficial in specific ways, manifested into concrete reality where they appeared to be different than what the common perception told the users. Then they get angry and think I "ruined" something, when all I did was dispel some illusions by exposure to the real thing. As for the sigil, it was the same, it's a correlation with what exists (artifact I found), some needs which were expressed on the board (your posts, as well as vague desire in the background telling me someone wants this) and something which made me want to draw it. This last part ended up being because I wanted to unite this idea into a sigil but lacked motivation to do so. I saw it being activated 3 times, even if you didn't want it, so that means the "hidden desire" was indeed there among some lurkers.

>>13888 Hmm. Proof of work just activated with that spinning eternity 8 on it, then when the post came through, there was some kind of energy explosion, and it ended up with trips of 8.

I think it may have been related to wanting to get rid of the confused trash making up the "hermetic" egregore and allowing Mercury variant to manifest instead. Hermes is such a fag. Mercury on the other hand. Feels like this'd make a good virgin vs chad pic. Mercury being both a planet and the metal of alchemists by name, as well as the god of merchants, all in the same name root, and his father is Jupiter. Hermes: name sounds like herpes and makes on think of a room with no air, hermetically shut. No wonder no one gets anywhere with "hermeticism", it's made to shoot yourself in the foot and then go around blaming le demi-urge for your own urges you didn't handle.

>>13839 >Dimensional miasma". Dimensions where you don't have proper access or you didn't get used to the "air" yet do that and places of the psyche do this where you rarely "visit". Interesting. That sounds similar to Lon Milo DuQuette's explanation for the strong gusts of wind that occur during AP, which I alluded to earlier regarding the sandstorm. >That gun was my creation. I am quite amazed to read this, and now I actually remember how you mentioned that gun to someone before though I didn't think much of it at the time. Most of the stuff you're saying about this I don't really know what to say in response but it deserves acknowledgement. >I don't want smileys that act like emo girls I've only ever cut myself once. It wasn't for the typical emo reasons though. My actual reason seems far more deranged I can remember one of the few times I bothered to show up to middle school I overheard these 2 emo girls comparing and bragging about their scars from cutting. I thought that was so fucking stupid. >I fear that I am talking about these things little too casually and might appear uncaring I want to say "Don't worry about it" but it might be childhood cope from emotional neglect

I've been trying to write a very important post for the past few days but every time I attempt to work on it my left ear gets some kind of blockage which is extremely annoying and uncomfortable, activates the neurological problem between my jaw and shoulders, and causes me to become irritable and tense. This is the exact opposite of the state of being I need to express deep things. Everything I try fails to remove the blockage and only agitates my nerves even worse. For some reason it always decides to become a problem when I attempt to work on that exact post, and has me wondering if there's some kind of correspondence with that part of the body. There are multiple reasons I feel pressure to finish that post. The way I have to do these is by thinking of points though contemplation, memorizing them and then figuring out how to coherently express them in words. Every time this bullshit happens my flow is completely ruined. I think right now the best thing is for me to follow the 22nd Law of Power (begrudgingly)

>>13892 Pay attention to your posture. When you get lost in your thoughts too much and borderline automatic write, there is a chance that the posture might tense up at the wrong places and cause pain as a result.

Was testin stuff for the new thread. Now site thinks I'm a spammer or something and can't upload files... Hope it expires soon

Hammer-flag anon, you mentioned some things about how some humans are "satyrs". Does it relate to this?

>>13908 I've never seen that image before. I was only talking about this https://archive.org/details/the-mystery-of-sex-or-sex-polarity . William Walker Atkinson's book the secret of sex or sex polarity. I'm attaching a pdf but not sure if 8moe will let me. By the way the creature in your drawing is a centaur not a satyr.

>>13908 https://psychologydictionary.org/satyriasis-satyrism/ You may be thinking of this.

Still can't post a fucking picture or anything else... If anyone remakes my thread in my stead then MAKE SURE TO MAKE IT FUNNY. And post a picture with the Temptations of Saint Anthony... I even downloaded this vid with Keanu screaming at the Wachowskis for the OP... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lksyNJhgyyE Qfaggots can spam the site, but not me... This must be a sign from the universe. My thread making days are over. I have to let the next generation pick up the staff and make the next Intrusive thoughts thread *sigh* Thanks for posting in my thread guys. Can't believe testing how to make a triforce on this shitty website flaged me as a spammer somehow   ▲ ▲ ▲

>>13915 Restart your router or something and make a real new thread. Because that thing up there can't be saved.

Energy is weird, feels like an old closet.

>>13921 >or something It turns out... it is a Pale Moon issue Pale Moon is not supported according to the main thread on /site/ Several Anons had the same problem BUT ONLY ON SPECIFIC BOARDS The internet is haunted.

Can I post a pictor with my new browser

Total wizcel victory

SIEHT INNEN DEUTSCHLANDS MACHT FUR VOLK UND VATERLAND

Total nigger death.