I tried bringing the emotional inferno over my spiritually enslaved christian pacifist relatives to an orthodox serbian friend far more well versed in the bible, and I was instantaneously overwhelmed - visualizing his emotional grounding, emotional aloofness and superior intellect as an armored column against my (admittively unironic) pure, intense, sheer radiating hate represented as a small cell with flamethrowers and small arms; and I lost this game of chicken when I already sensed his exasperation towards me and that same ridicule ate at me. His tone was flat and rather cross and disappointed in the actual conversations, though not as much as I've feared he'd be, though by the end of it it feels as if I had lost another battle to retake my rational, conscious mind from a compromised superego biased against me in favor of others, and I lost the intense, radical, fanatical, lexicunnilinguistic "schizoposting" side of me, my anima. I'm distraught, yet not enough to completely hamper me from finding solutions, let alone asking for help. Fyi, I'm not the same poster I was 8 months ago. Something in me changed fiercely after that post-halloween 5 gram shroom trip bastardized with foul tasting alcohol and spicy cajun fries.

Really hoping OP will bother partaking in this thread because >Divination, energy readings, exorcism or general requests these are quite interaction intensive promises he just made. >>4935 >Fyi, I'm not the same poster I was 8 months ago Yes you are finally able to use a flag. Progress on all levels. I thought you will use the fire element flag because how blazed you are but guess you went for the based flags instead

I want to free that passionate, inner fanatic/extremist and rip that black stake of cold, conformist mediocrity out my heart but the figure in vague black has more force than what I am able to muster against it. My body spasming violently, especially around the heart and chest area.

>>4940 He said that people can post their requests here, not that he would answer them.

>>4944 >people can post their requests here That was the purpose, anyone can of course reply to them. There tends to be a lot of requests for divination and readings at times, better to have them gathered in here as well.

>>4940 That's because deep down I'm based. >>4949 >>back to the stage of constant seething at that one schizo I never said it was that one schizo, it was a trusted if stoic friend I went to for help, but they're not very emotionally reciprocal and more likely to admonish my intense, impassioned emotions. Some girls I was voice chatting with seemed to be into me, until they just revealed they were only platonically interested. I had my hopes up high for that, but I'll be honest when I say that I've felt like I was being taken for a ride and that it'd never pan out the way I'd want it to. Well, not even him - moreso the sum total of all the lambasting and obsessive nitpickery I've received from braindead, overly emotional family members.

>>4951 This schizo that I've wasted over a year arguing with is nothing but a sentient psyslop - a crude, garish, wicked, heartless pisstake at my "eccentricities" from the perspective of dejected, ornery bolshevik russians amongst other godless, materialistic, stoic, atheistic heathens. I have been wounded graver by those whose help I sought than I actually have over that serpentine fart-huffing neanderthal and failed cult leader eternally obsessed over abrahamic cults. I'd wager he'd meet his source mammy long before I get a gf, but this is the last you'll hear of me rant about that nigger. Regardless, my resolve towards liberating my subconscious mind in her entirety has dramatically increased, and the fight to correct this broken superego/superconscious by means of reasoning and logic equally so.

>>4942 It's my cold, hard logical and reasoning side (saturn/cronos energy) that drove this cold, hard, black stake into my bright, colorful, resonatory heart. The same part that masters lexical and terminological precision, and I need it married to my emotion and a healing reconciliation.

My spiritual emotions and sense of wonder and mystery have been gone for years. How can I get them back?

>>5045 By getting deeper into it with actual practice instead of mere fascination for mysteries which are portrayed in media. Trust me there will be enough dread and awe as you walk forward but they won't be the same as your ideas of wonder you have for spirituality currently. When I see something appearing in media that I encountered in my visions or meditations I get scared in some cases because I know what gave birth to that idea. You don't need to get it back. You just have to venture in deeper.

I just tried to do a guided meditation video wherein I set up spiritual defenses for myself, but as soon as I began the video, I began hearing a ringing in my right ear, indicating that a spirit is nearby. One part of the video involved a pyramid of golden light appearing, and the pyramid wouldn't appear properly and it'd have a fleshy border around the bottom. I had to teleport directly into the correct pyramid from the last time I did the ritual correctly. Amy & a friend of hers came with me. Later, I got to the part where I'm supposed to see a golden ray of light coming down from the top of the pyramid, but there was maybe 1/20th as much light as usual coming down from there. We all had a hard time fitting inside. I was supposed to grab a rose-gold chalice, but no matter what I did, I couldn't even visualize the correct color, even after trying for what seemed like 5 minutes straight, which of course had constituted interrupting the ritual. And then when I tried to use it anyway, the chalice would immediately deform and prevent me from using it in a meaningful manner. Eventually, after trying to get the archangel Michael to help, and he failed to help me, and another angel tried to help me and she failed, I asked Athena to help since I was trying to do it myself and couldn't fucking do it, and she helped me find a chalice of the correct color. I eventually managed to do what I thought would get light inside of my stomach, but the light wasn't the light I thought it was and it was corrupted. I think that the spirit that made my ears ring is attacking me. Would one of you please get rid of it? I tried to kill the bastard and I tried to banish it but it didn't work.

>>5059 Just removing them for you if you don't know why or how it's done, will just cause more of them to appear later most likely. Every time you improve, there may be someone who's provoked by this, like someone seeing that you started lifting and now they want to pick a fight. I asked the succubus and your Amy if either of them want to use the fairy shield method I created, Amy didn't want to but the succubus said she'd learn it and show you how to do it. In short, you manifest fairy servitors whom you can control as a swarm, and you use them to surround and entrap the attacker, or to encase yourself or someone else, then you can either heal or attack depending on if you are helping or fighting the being who's encased.

>>5060 They can also be wasps or bees if you prefer to work with Bhramari.

>>5060 I thought I'd gotten the succubus outta my life by now. I don't remember having seen her in the past 2 weeks. I don't consent to the succubus teaching me how to do this shit; I want her gone and kept away from my astral bodies. Afaik, I'd gotten the baby astral body she made out of me outta her hands and given the body to Shakti to figure out what to do with it. I think she might've ended up merging it inside of me, but I'm not sure. I'd also got her contract magically invalidated. I'll think about asking Bhramari about it anyway since you mentioned Her, but idk if She'd actually do it. I also just tried actually doing the LBRP, but I didn't have a wand to do it with and I used my finger instead, and the ritual didn't work.

>>5063 I don't think she cares what you do, she sees you just as a cat who's being "a little" difficult to tame. I don't get what you have against her, and she probably doesn't either. If you want help or guidance you also need to be firm and not ask with "no" as an option. It's a "battle of wills" sort of thing and the slightest hesitation from you will cause failure in terms of your goals. Being uncertain about what you want, your morality and so on, all cause failure. On a side note just now, I don't know if this was related or not, a massive horde of cattle was sent my way. I'd think it was related to me even replying to you here about the fairy shield. Because of the past thing I posted about in the other thread, I had a measure in place for this case, so the ancient looking bulls or whatever they were, got turned into anime girls row after row as they approached. I looked to the far back end of the horde and saw a witch with a pointy hat casting continuous summoning, it appeared like a sunlight with her in the middle and a black spiral emerging out from her. I caught her and in the process as a result of the protection I set up, she was also given an anime girl body (she didn't have a "body" before). I caught her and took her to the pocket dimension inside my shoulder bag. Of course she doesn't like it, but she attacked me so why should I care? That's how these things work. I used an astral artifact on her which can override someone's will so they become obedient for now. Did the being stop bothering you?

>>5064 Coincidentally, I'd just found a banishing frequency video that I knew 2 years ago had worked well. Listening to it the 1st time produced a strong sensation in my head, and then I listened to it again. I still hear a ringing my right ear, though. I'll try the defensive ritual video in a few hours I guess; I've got something to do. Thanks for incapacitating that witch, btw.

>>5066 If it doesn't bother you more than that you can just do something else, I wouldn't consider that to really be an attack worth mentioning. Real psychic attacks will block your thinking, cause panic attacks or make other people around you start an argument or fight so you can't do what you want to do.

>>5066 I think the witch was hired by someone else.

>>5067 Well my thinking kinda was being blocked; I wasn't able to imagine the chalice during the most important part of the ritual wherein I pour the light into my stomach, wherein it purifies me from the inside-out.

>>5069 Try visualizing a swarm of wasps attacking any hostiles next time and see if that works.

Is this thread specifically for people who need help by means of action like divination or editing their energy or w/e, or can I post about things I need general guidance on, even though I don't have a particular question or request?

The purpose of this thread is to serve as a containment for requests and questions which would otherwise disturb the flow of discussion in other threads. Generally, for people who are inexperienced in some field, seeking help from those with more years of practice behind them, including directly asking for things like >can someone read my energy? or >I think I have spirit possession, can someone remove it? >>5086 >things I need general guidance on If the things you need guidance on will end up taking the form of blogposting over a longer period, maybe the magic blog thread is better, you decide where you think it fits best. If you feel you would be annoying people in the other threads by asking for things, then post here instead.

Suffering immense psychic damage after attempting to meet a reddit atheist turned agnostic halfway, now I'm having a harder time coursing and utilizing my energies. >>5089 >The purpose of this thread is to serve as a containment for requests and questions which would otherwise disturb the flow of discussion in other threads. Oh I'm sorry, I was told this new thread was made as containment for me and my issues, which I've already posted >>4935 >>4942 >>4951 and received fuck-all about. Can this board be any less fucking useful?

>>5100 It is your containment thread you nonce... >Can this board be any less fucking useful? With you around? Sure it can!

How do I insulate my heart against susceptibility to shame and reprimanding from the morally scrupulous dogmatists on both the atheist/agnostic secular end and christian pacifist/catholic ends? Clearly recruiting the assistance of some emotionally distant kike who takes after le dissident populist xitter right hasn't helped shit but help me lose the fight against a compromised superego turned against me, and I have yet to remove this black, parallelogram-shaped mass of shame lodged in my heart constraining upwards communication and energetic flow through my throat chakra, third eye and crown alike. >>5102 >nonce I'm not into lolishit if that's what you're implying. >With you around? Sure it can! Beautiful, even less of a probability I'll receive any meaningful goddamn answers to my current paradigm given this board still assumes I'm beefing with the egoistic hypocritical disinfo agent masquerading as a schizo on /x/ and /pol/.

>>5100 >and received fuck-all about You cannot comprehend how annoyingly hard to solve your issues from a distance as long as you keep yourself in your own self destructive mental loop. You literally hate everything around you. Your home your family the communities you interact with and cannot utilize a single positive force in your life to your benefit and expect other wizards that also have their own problems and projects to drop everything and save your sorry ass from the predicaments you create for yourself. My problem with this thread that it won't work as long we don't have enough wizards that have a lotta freetime and proper ability to help emotionally and mentally incompetent entitled beggars all the time. But it is not supposed to work... it is supposed to act as a containment. But not just for you but for other people who also have requests. >>5086 Feel free to post btw. The speed the requests will be granted depends on the complexity of the issue. Meager energy reads and divination for stable people can be granted with minimal effort but for some people it takes time and nuance because they cannot even comprehend the reply because of their mental instability is not really helping their reading comprehension >>5103 >given this board still assumes I'm beefing with the egoistic hypocritical disinfo agent masquerading as a schizo on /x/ and /pol/. You don't? You really managed to let go? Congrats then. >Beautiful, even less of a probability I'll receive any meaningful goddamn answers listen to your own heart you dumbass. You overexplain your situation because you cannot get out of your fucking home for some reason. Go on a trip in an other city or landscape for a week or month. Go camping or what do I care. Stop tormenting yourself in your swamp of hatred already. >I'm not into lolishit if that's what you're implying. Sorry I am bad with british slangs and didn't know what it stood for. Just looked it up now. I thought it is an another word for dumbass. Guess I am the dumbass for misusing a word when talking to a master wordsmith!

>>5103 People have been giving you loads of good advice, spending hours of their life analyzing your problems and giving you their input on them. But instead of listening to these people you just ignore them and keep harping on about these various retards you're engaging in stupid feuds with. I said it before, but this advice >>2364 (379) is your key for if you actually want to fix your problem. This issue here is that you just flat-out ignore any sort of input that would require you putting in any work yourself. Eventually as you keep doing this people learn that it's a waste of energy to try to help you.

>>5111 Trips of truth

>>5104 >You cannot comprehend how annoyingly hard to solve your issues from a distance as long as you keep yourself in your own self destructive mental loop. You literally hate everything around you. Your home your family the communities you interact with and cannot utilize a single positive force in your life to your benefit and expect other wizards that also have their own problems and projects to drop everything and save your sorry ass from the predicaments you create for yourself. Perhaps I lack the telepathic framework to wordlessly communicate any energetic or vibrational changes, but those thought loops are the serpents I fight to liberate my psyche and inner monologue. It's less of an over-encompassing hate for everything around me and more of whatever seems to get my attention. Different thought trains and patterns that would otherwise be useful are made inaccessible because they tend to align with the scrutiny these materialist occultists and sc >You don't? You really managed to let go? Congrats then. I hated that nigger because he took advantage of the fact that nobody knows whom the antichrist actually is and had the chutzpah to plug "Jesus" in that value, which tripped the outrage/shock part of my critical mind, and his forceful, obsessive repetition is why I hated him with righteous intent. He is a dishonest, cowardly nigger attempting memetic rape on an actual empath (me) because I'm able to recognize genuine malice in his heart completely swaddled in borderline solipsistic egotism. He's nothing more than a garish caricature of my fledgeling acolyte cringe, and with the revelation that my emotionally and energetically hypersensitive ass qualifying for empath status I can't >listen to your own heart you dumbass. Newsflash anon, the communication between my subconscious and conscious mind is obstructed by shame and self-consciousness, and I'm asking for assistance on clearing or pulling it out of my heart. Turns out my people-pleasing ass is too cowardly to sell or assert my beliefs in the immaterial and occult/paranormal to the materialist, atheist, metropolitan zeitgeist believes because they outnumber me, and it's hard to argue factually against them. A well meaning mistake on my end to offer them help for what's helped me, especially when I'm under the impression of science being compatible with or will become compatible with it. >science is a process of circumventing egotism and our failures to recognize our own biases. >Any attempt to circumvent it is a tacit admission you value your idea over the truth. >>5111 >People have been giving you loads of good advice, spending hours of their life analyzing your problems and giving you their input on them. Overall, sure and I'm sorry for not displaying the gratitude for their guidance and assistance then as opposed to now. >I said it before, but this advice >>2364 (379) (379) is your key for if you actually want to fix your problem. This issue here is that you just flat-out ignore any sort of input that would require you putting in any work yourself. Eventually as you keep doing this people learn that it's a waste of energy to try to help you. You presume that I'm still hung up in that specific arc instead of on a completely new one as per my post-halloween psilocybin trip in that thread. I take it you lot haven't noticed any changes and refuse to acknowledge that I'm not as "closed" now as I was then.

>>5116 >because they tend to align with the scrutiny these materialist occultists and science worshippers level towards my beliefs, and it doesn't help that my own OCD or compromised superconscious mind seeks for any parallels between my current self and analogous past interpersonal interactions/dynamics for any hypocrisies or irony to shame me on. Forgot to finish that up.

>>5086 >or can I post about things I need general guidance on, even though I don't have a particular question or request? For pathworking feel free to use the >>1759 Awakening General but only if you want an in depth advice. And for an in depth advice you will have to talk about how you are walking your own path and how deep is your experience with spirituality and self discovery. That thread is for complex pathworking situations which is more akin to sharing your lifestory and not basic beggary like this thread. >>5116 >You presume that I'm still hung up in that specific arc instead of on a completely new one No one gives a shit what "arc" you are in. You are still consumed by your own impotent hate that you cannot utilize. I don't even know if your shrooms awakened a part of you or cauterized an another part of your brain again. You think you are an open book but in actuality you are like a book that wild wolves ripped apart and junkies used as a toilet paper. >subconscious and conscious mind is obstructed by shame and self-consciousness Boohoo. Go outside and hug a tree while full naked. I am serious. Being naked in nature cures shame and self consciousness. >Turns out my people-pleasing ass is too cowardly to sell or assert my beliefs in the immaterial and occult/paranormal to the materialist Stop annoying the mundanes and the retards with your schizo babble. You are knocking on the wrong doors with this. You awakening is still too shallow to awaken any people that are not doing as much drugs as you. >that I'm not as "closed" now as I was then. You are still closed that is why you cannot let go of all your negativity and still desire a fucking beacon of high energies from these tired of your shit already wizards. Srsly go outside. Your entire life revolves around internet contacts and drugs. Change your lifestyle. Otherwise the only way you can be "saved" if your lifestyle crumbles around you or you crumble with it. I don't even know what else can be said that wasn't not posted already.

>>5119 >You are still consumed by your own impotent hate that you cannot utilize. Bullshit, you're only adding onto the shame and reflecting that exact same hate I've displayed against him. You refuse to release or change your perception of me over your own indignant frustration, and now that I can actually make use of the advice I've so wastefully ignored in the past, you continue to take this shit out on me further. >No one gives a shit what "arc" you are in. You are still consumed by your own impotent hate that you cannot utilize. I don't even know if your shrooms awakened a part of you or cauterized an another part of your brain again. You think you are an open book but in actuality you are like a book that wild wolves ripped apart and junkies used as a toilet paper. And you continue to cling to the past to ignore that I've attempted to energetically evolve beyond the behavior I've previously displayed here to work on the underlying issues, and now that I've managed to accurately and succintly describe what obstacle I'm currently facing >>4935, you instead choose to bear and reflect that same negativity I've been wallowing in for months right back at me for it. >You are still closed that is why you cannot let go of all your negativity and still desire a fucking beacon of high energies from these tired of your shit already wizards. No, it's you who's fucking shut off. In the overall schema of my life as a power struggle between those imposing their morality, beliefs, and standards upon me and displaying any assertion, Jobbing to the hypothetical response of a bible scholar whom I trusted to factually disprove my aunt's shame-based christian pacifism had killed the momentum I made on the way to escaping this lower vibrational "eat or be eaten" lens I subconsciously view and interact through (especially on contentious issues).

>>5119 >You are still closed that is why you cannot let go of all your negativity and still desire a fucking beacon of high energies from these tired of your shit already wizards. Srsly go outside. Your entire life revolves around internet contacts and drugs. Change your lifestyle. Otherwise the only way you can be "saved" if your lifestyle crumbles around you or you crumble with it. I don't even know what else can be said that wasn't not posted already. Said the wizard consumed by his indignant anger towards my own past fuckery to release it - Perhaps you tapping into that critic part of me spurred on your animosity, because you were far calmer and rational in the past compared to now. I assume you're central european, perhaps polish or czech?

>>5121 >No, it's you who's fucking shut off Well you said it. I am too shut off. Guess I cannot help you then. Feel free to write down all your issues and hope for someone else who have time and care to wade through all of your bullshit then >>5122 >Said the wizard consumed by his indignant anger towards my own past fuckery I don't give a shit about that one schizo. You are still in the mindset that you have to adhere to the "rules" of your past self and the only way you can escape is by doing drugs while constantly lamenting how you try to help others and it doesn't work and how they entrapped you with their ideas etc. A slightly better version of the previous hate but now we have different people instead. Your first issue was the merchant vision then the schizo. If you are telling the truth and truly past of them... after several hundred posts and hours wasted upon you that should have been a weekend exercise then congrats. But don't think we have the same eagerness wading through the same issues with slightly different flavors now. You think it is easy to interpret your vocabulary that writes the same issue with a thousand words while missing the key component all the time. You call yourself an empath while I do not consider myself one but whenever I have to look at your energies my heart tightens in disgust. If you were truly an empath you would have a way to notice the negative energies in the people you interact with and would find a way to avoid those situations. But instead you are addicted to those negative energies and I have no idea how to cure that problem. You find a person get attached then get in an argument with them and shatter mentally and energetically. If you want help then either find it or wait for your time. Reading through your mess is the most unrewarding task ever. I do not want to "shame you" for this I am just explaining my own incapability. I have no idea why do you consider yourself shameful because you certainly don't appear as one. Currently you are shamelessly demanding everyone to get involved with you to solve your issues and if they fail you will blame them for it. I do not know who or what can help you. Also >>5111 he posted this to remind you to read books and start your own pathworking and not to shame you about the schizo you had. You will need to find proper techniques to interact with your psyche and stop leeching everyone for advice then pretend you didn't get a single useful one so far. >I assume you're central european THEN UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S FUCKING 2AM HERE AND I HAVE A JOB TOMORROW YOU UNGRATEFUL NEETMAXXER. If I lived a life like you my parents would have murdered me in a week. Cannot imagine how you have time and money for drugs all the time while leeching of your parents constantly. Guess the western degeneracy is too much for me to fathom

>>5124 >you would have a way to notice the negative energies in the people you interact with and would find a way to avoid those situations. The metaphysical framework my aunts foist upon me demand I be a walking doormat and onahole for anybody with the slightest grievance against me and offer ineffectual solutions that involve becoming wholly devout to the synagogue of satan, which I strongly oppose. Half the shit you've seen in me was imprinted and absorbed from my own dysfunctional sea nigger family and the other half is attempting to navigate my spiritual stockholm syndrome-infused spirit around it. Visualizing my hands pulling this black shard of shame out of my heart reinforced with a grain or nugget of truth proved fruitless, begging Jesus for it sure as shit hasn't helped either. >>5111 Wait, were you iron pill or is that Dagoth Ur that was ironpill previously?

>>5126 >Wait, were you iron pill or is that Dagoth Ur that was ironpill previously? I'm neither.

>>5127 >This issue here is that you just flat-out ignore any sort of input that would require you putting in any work yourself. Eventually as you keep doing this people learn that it's a waste of energy to try to help you. I've stopped visiting /x/ so his carcinogenic ego can get worn out by his beloved saturn/chronos tearing it to shreds. Turns out what I've previously identified as "Saturn/Cronos" energy in regards to discipline, wisdom, perception and insight pertains to my Mercury and Sun square pluto instead. I still haven't subconsciously ingrained planetary influences based upon the characteristics of the deities that form their namesakes. As if it weren't difficult enough to deal with sanctimonious self-deluded charlatans playing mind games and forcefully rewriting my internal lexicon, now I have to put up with >>5124 >Cannot imagine how you have time and money for drugs all the time while leeching of your parents constantly. My mother was dead before I discovered that I could get fucked up on cough medicine and pops just became begrudgingly tolerant of it. I tend to try and stay the course despite whoever gets in my head or heart. >I have no idea why do you consider yourself shameful despite shamelessly demanding everyone to get involved with you to solve your issues and if they fail you will blame them for it. >You are still in the mindset that you have to adhere to the "rules" of your past self As I renew my self-perception and attempt to re-develop a little self-awareness on my position, now I've to contend with you holding me to past sins despite this like I haven't tried to develop beyond them. >and the only way you can escape is by doing drugs Which was to be the other half, whereas the other is purely internalized and mentalist/synchromysticist, if psychonautic grimoires and the recounts of many an anon on /x/ and elsewhere (especially prior to the boards' enshittification) were to go by. >while constantly lamenting how you try to help others and it doesn't work and how they entrapped you with their ideas etc. First made this mistake in 2022 >A slightly better version of the previous hate but now we have different people instead. This would've been my primary struggle weren't it for the mistakes I've made in the pursuit of DMT and all that entailed, but as it appears I'm not allowed to evolve beyond those without being reminded of it by anons who hold grudges and are slow to adapt their perception. I've had more spiritual and personal growth in the past few weeks before I felt that wrath redirected at me for bringing my theological grievances of my spiritually enslaved and fanatically zionist pseudo-evangelical catholic aunts who absorb their morality from propaganda outlets and easily morally to another christian whose culture was different to theirs for factual reassurance and reinforcement. >You will need to find proper techniques to interact with your psyche and stop leeching everyone for advice then pretend you didn't get a single useful one so far. I hate that I can't pretend you're wrong especially here, even when I neglect to mention when any advice does work when it does (except for the obvious abstinence of /x/ which has worked with that schizo) My current and only major problem I wanna solve is >>4935 and the energetic/chakra pathway workage that pertains to it, in case if anyone can name a specific book for dealing with that precise issue. Lest I go reading the vampire's guide to psychic self-defense in hopes of subconsciously attracting a solution to that specific issue and running back on track as I would've prior.

I'm afraid that I'll either suck or be mediocre at everything I'll ever do, mundane or not. Does anyone here have any insight into fixing this?

>>5137 >Does anyone here have any insight into fixing this? Find your passion? Dunno man. What it means to be "great" or "not being mediocre" to you? Why do you want to be great? If you can get on living even by sucking that is also living and helps in your survival. Also being "Mediocre" and being "decent" is the same but greatness is more about wisdom and balance and not pursuing extremities. Sucking in a field usually means you didn't find the "vibe" yet. You will have to accept the vibes or the mindwave that govern that expertise. I think you just have low self esteem and don't know what to pursue in your life. Truth is sucking and being mediocre is good in a way. You know there is room for improvement. You know which direction you can go to chase your dreams. Stop being demoralized. Find your flame and blaze through your path. Or enjoy the stillness of your life. Whatever your heart desires tbh. If you want to suck keep sucking if you want to be better be better.

>>5119 >You are still closed that is why you cannot let go of all your negativity and still desire a fucking beacon of high energies from these tired of your shit already wizards. Srsly go outside. Your entire life revolves around internet contacts and drugs. Change your lifestyle. Otherwise the only way you can be "saved" if your lifestyle crumbles around you or you crumble with it. I don't even know what else can be said that wasn't not posted already. Perhaps if you've realized that my current energywork or situation is now a completely different, albeit ultimately smaller issue, you'd realize that you're continuing to act off a previous perception of me and subconsciously justifying it. Yes, I'm aware that my soul or spirit is in a darwinian, lower-vibrational "kill or be killed" mentality, and I don't trust the philosemitic violence-shunning >>5067 >Real psychic attacks will block your thinking How about constricting your throat chakra through shame so your heart and soul is unable to express its true self, or an overzealous critic of an inner monologue borne of a subverted superconscious/superego that disconnects your rational, thinking mind from your subconscious mind and manipulates/coerces it using the perceived fear of future consequences for your resistance under the convenient labels of either "karma" or "fate"? Do note that my catholic family had always imposed a slave morality that not only indebts me to them, but prohibits any meaningful development or display of assertion and encourages dependancy on elders as an unquestionable, infallible authority. >>5137 Mindset is everything, and you've been psyopped into short-selling yourself for a multitude of reasons. My parents' compliments were largely superficial and hollow, and I needed to develop confidence out of spite for them.

>>5146 You're probably just channelling things randomly, a true shamanic awakening tbh. Lots of different spirits are trying to tune your brain so they can communicate through you, opening you with insanity and drugs to rewire it in the way that suits them the best. I've experienced this with people practicing different things, knowingly or unknowingly. If they come through, their abilities will skyrocket. It's like training an AI, at first it will be retarded and not work for a long time, then the "magic" takes effect just like we've seen in the past years and it improves very fast. Your brain is a literal neural network, it needs input to learn how to handle spiritual forces, and it won't be pretty at first. This is just my personal view, but you seem to have stabilized a lot since you started posting here. Try getting into some real structured practice, day to day process with some way to learn a "vocabulary" of methods. In yoga you learn different poses, mudras or breathing methods, which later become your toolbox for anything you do, kabbalah gives you a huge set of useful themes and verses to use for spellcasting as well as a range of inner cultivation energy systems you can also use, and so on. All of these require that you actually study and practice day to day though.

>>5146 I'm not really familiar with your posting lore, but maybe you could cast a sigil to make your aunts stop antagonizing you? Not the same smileberg poster as above.

>>5147 Attempting to solidly identify whatever the fuck it is obstructing communication between my subconscious and conscious mind in my throat chakra is my current struggle. As of now, my current hurdle is trying to teach a jaded american atheist-turned-agnostic. Apologies for the incredulously long delay in my response but what I formerly recognized as saturn/cronos energies was conflated mercury/pluto energy with them. As of now, it's a complicated, broad quagmire with numerous energies I'm either attempting to redirect, curtail, or repurpose, though I still feel energetically diminished. Vulnerable. That anger Dagoth Ur pointed out prior is more akin to childhood vulnerability in reaction to bullying, except it's over people in the past who've wronged me for underhanded, backstabbing reasons and I feel that pain and anger boil to the surface. >>5161 My aunts are no longer the issue, it is a matter of dislodging whatever shame or guilt constricting my critical, communicative, logical, and rational side from my emotional, intuitive, extraperceptive, creative, and nourishing side. I don't know how many times I'll need to re-iterate this but I sure as shit know that I'm suffering the misdeeds of my own repetitive and cyclical, self-destructive nature here that I oh-so tactfully and clearly communicated the distress of being constrained within, blinded to higher order/vibrational thinking and solutions. When my spirit's under attack by subversive serpents spreading shit, that's when the inner templar in me awakens. That atheist/agnostic I've argued with came off just like I did with that schizo, and I ought to apologize to >>5124 for being hard on him earlier. I suffer from such similar scars myself and ought to have shown more compassion and gratitude. Which, btw, massive help for all of your assistance in the past, and I'm really sorry it was such a struggle, but those issues I had suffered from synthetic shrooms and nicotine, I cured with real shrooms and dropping nicotine. Go figure.

>>5161 Naw, what I need is something to heave this dense, heavy black energy out of my body and cast it from my heart. I already got it all down in >>4935

>>5170 > I need is something to heave this dense, heavy black energy out of my body and cast it from my heart This sigil should do it.

>>5171 This clears the coronary energetic passageway through my throat, upwards to my third eye and through my crown chakra, correct? Focusing on it with my third eye to flush the ahrimanic influence upon me by an agnostic I've attempted to sell belief and faith in literally anything other than the material on (they are so autistic about misinformation and following the secular dogma yet refuse to admit it)

>>5171 Is this a safe sigil for others? What is its function?

>>5172 >>5174 It's a representation of a ritual session which forces your heaviest dark energy (karma) out from the body and solidifies the divide between negative and positive in such a manner as to make your current incarnation immune to the destruction this karma may otherwise cause. I made it a robust sigil so that anon can safely use it. It clears your chakras, so the experience may be what you describe.

>>5175 Couldnt this create an issue for someones next life then?

>>4450 (379) >beloved funny yellow dog meme icon dies and their likeness cringefully repurposed into a cynical government commission and whored out by spiritually and metacognitively stunted rubes to the chagrin of socialist profanes I suspect Saturn/Jews (going off 4kike's /pol/luted framework) had something to do with it. >>4115 (379) Extreme gratitude for your assistance, apologies for not communicating this before that thread died. >>5175 I was the spiritually active autist from the prior thread, now I struggle to overcome this overly rational, dense, ahrimanic overreliance on deboonking, peer-reviewed studies, worship of the scientific method as the only reliable means of attaining truth, and cries of "pseudoscience/quackery" as the new because the portion of my mind that can explain chaos magic and the mechanics of belief is incompatible with him. I can comprehend his position, yet he cannot innately fathom mine. I tried planting the notion or idea of a higher power into him, and in return he twists my brain against my heart. Perhaps my mars/pluto connection has been weakened.

>>5176 Not really. You should worry about your current life anyway, if you were dragged down by that karma you won't have a next life, I'm just saying it protect your current life, what happens later may not be safe.

>>5178 Perhaps I've been too judgemental on you for not believing the psionic instability/capability of the most ideologically charged and fanatical of non-stereotypical autists. These venn diagrams are the best means I can use to articulate my specific type of autism, and being mistaken for the dense, spiritually circumcised, metacognitively disabled meat calculator autists (aka stereotypical autists) vexes me greatly (the american education system is very nuanced and respectful of their disabled students' regarding their condition). I don't perceive my neurological wiring as a drawback so much as something akin to shamanism, even if the emotional and spiritual damage (as with my admittively semi-willful ignorance on fixing it is evident). All those dextromethorphan, psilocybin, and muscaria trips I would liken to chemically stripping, repainting, and anodizing my psyche the same way a gunsmith refinishes a rifle. Had to edit this to trim a bit of unneeded wrath off.

>>5178 This sigil ended up helping a lot. Interestingly today i woke up feeling a lot cleaner, and the few days before that cleaner than the days before even that. This sigil made some movement and i say based in feeling i had already cleaned put about 50 to 60 percent,most in the last few weeks. This isnt because of any practice.a big cleaning happened after having a dream of walking in someones house and i opened a fridge. I thought it was a nicely made fridge and saw mcdonalds fries also in there. This wasnt a very normal dream as it was as accurate to real life as can be and very stable. I decided not too post about this recent advancement in cleanliness but since this sigil helped and did a similar thing i guess I was right about it.

Ive been trying to renounce lust for over 2 years. I keep failing. Please /fringe/ wizards help this neophyte transcend his earthly desires

>>5261 The way I annihilated lust was by succumbing to >tfw no gf and letting heartache and the agony of subconsciously feeling that I'll never consciously nor subconsciously know whom I've always wanted in my life turn lust into a implicit "fox and grapes" situation against me. >b-but I use this as motivation/justification to goon and love the shame and naughtiness it brings upon me! You are a spineless cuckold and doormat should this be the case. Reroute your resentment towards your inherent incompatibility towards women into a cthonic spiritual diesel to fuel your spirit, unworthiness of true love as a harsh spiritual abrasive to strip your spirit of incel psyops, and delve into spiritual practices, affirmations, subliminals and the such to repaint, anodize, and refinish your spirit with them. Learn from my mistakes, >>11 will help you.

>warned for being off-topic now who the fuck reported me and what post

>>5281 Maybe too bloggy in the help thread: >>5185 ?

>>5281 politics in magic blog >>5282 help is inherently bloggy

>>5283 Makes sense, I remember smileberg mentioning manifesting missile strikes through his thaumaturgical means, all I needed to do was visualize God's fist crashing upon Israel and assume my will as God's. A little insane to realize that all I needed was to bypass a frivolous moral check for it.

If I recall correctly, the issue I had suffered this entire year was a dense, pervasive miasma of ever-obfuscating stupidity and retardation I generated from attempting to energetically annihilate a retarded namefag back in March while trying to sacrifice the enemy schizo I had wasted time energetically flailing and having him deflect my attacks back onto me from the year prior. Before you get on my ass, this is a retrospective analysis on self-imposed issues that started this year. Hell, perhaps I'll even undo my own spiritual circumcision/curtailing by shittalking saturn/cronos and conflating the two with al-dajjal/ahriman/satan and using my father to represent their agent to keep me spiritually asleep and tethered within the material realm. There's to be a way to recover all my lost metacognitive faculties and full memory's contingency alongside with the synesthesia portions uniting logic/cognition with creativity/subcognition through metacognition. My goal for this month is to loosen my rigid, irrational and nonsensical framework up, restore the subtle, yet inextricably specific and poignant ambient vibes and emotions that defined and seperated each time. Hopefully then I'll be capable of foreseeing or even writing my destiny through the same synesthetic and narrative bound narrative magick/LOA I've been practicing.

Still struggling to energetically beat this dense disconnective miasma of retardation I inadvertantly formed when I was pissed the fuck off at that retarded namenigger "sleeper agent" for forming a dense, suffocating thoughtform that not only fucked with the electrical flow in my heart but created an artificial rift seperating subconscious from conscious and subduing impulse and instinct from even registering incoming stimuli, spirits or energies, let alone reacting to it. If I withdraw, its dark tendrils of obfuscating autistic retardation snaking its way through my energetic body and no-selling i.e non-reacting to light purifying it. May someone please read into my heart's aura and extract/banish said black worm? My year started off with a particularly nasty interlocking ensemble of energetic conundrums, complications and other assorted fuckups that have made it impossible to even energetically interface with a sigil - to say nothing about the natural circulation of energy through my body. >inb4 get ogre it The namefag may be gone, but the spawn of the pawn of satan still lingers within, yet the mark of sin shan't ever win against me and my kin. I request and beseech /fringe/'s assistance (and forgiveness) for bearing with my constant fumbling to insufferable degrees reminsicent of these dipshits, taking on the umbrage of purifying/cleansing /x/ energies was hubris on my end.

>>5371 >inb4 get ogre it >

I need a way to specifically reprogram my traumatized nervous system since no matter how good I get my energy or into a sublime state, I always crash all the way down if I get "triggered" by something. It's a serious impediment.

Now what I require is for my chronologically scrupulous synesthetic short term and long term memory to return, where every day, hour, minute, and second no matter how mundane is meticulously and subconsciously chronicled, with playback akin to a hybrid between a film reel annotated with timestamps, except with dates and timestamps.

What does my energy feel like?

>>5480 Assisting and liberating. I know it'll piss people off here, but a small portion of blogposting for you; So, before I fought noctilucent, my former spiritual teacher—whom I channeled spare energy that wasn't dedicated to batting off the psychopathic plug I egregiously gave my personal info to—had subverted my willpower and superego using a tacitly disingenuous, karmic twist of the golden rule connivingly created to pre-emptively hamstring any combat magic I may intend to employ in the future with - "Whatever you wish unto others shall return upon you" Shortly thereafter, the anti-abrahamic subversive came along, and input "jesus" as the definition of "antichrist", parasitically subverting the "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST" meme I had championed to serve his means in the same manner the cordyceps fungus parasites small insects for consumption. It was blatantly obvious this arrogant, dunning-kruger afflicted worshipper of emptiness, entropy, and lies suffered from a severe Yin imbalance. Christian/Noctilucent/Kaleb, the capricornian false prophet with a serpentine tongue, the delusional, uncircumcized white kike who embodies the excess of my sins in a way that forces my spirit to acknowledge and evolve beyond it through any means necessary. As far as I've learned (or rather, learned to articulate despite all internal thoughtforms of low vibration, low IQ individuals whining and threatening me into silence) that Christstain, aka noxious loser or gayleb, is in fact a most insidious energetic equivalent to that of a skinwalker whom may or may not have established an empathic bond with me in early 2022 and wound up absorbing the psychopathic energy of a sociopathic psycho plug I went to DMT for on IRC and learnt of the best way to get under my skin, through to my heart and "amygdala hijack" me into stupefaction and silence with his sheer, self-serving sacrilege of logic to serve his satanic purposes with which he deems an objective truth. Through the myriad of faceless, hostile energies infesting my psyche and energetic aura, I reflected their aggression against me and one upped them by visualizing myself brutalizing them into submission, relenting a little to let it set it, and instantaneously jumping back if they so dared take advantage of my brief respite. Demons take on the lowest of energetic signatures, and my aunts' doctrinal "pacifism" was tantamount to restraining me hostage while such principalities assailed me and had their way. This schizo is the embodiment of such evil, easily one of the most vile personalities I've ever made the mistake of attempting to rehabilitate. From the same facade of innocence and ignorance belied by a blatantly obvious giveaway clearly meant to draw my ire that retarded psychopath who tried to sell me on satan showed, the same self-exhalting, controlling, delusional, hateful, malicious, manipulative, and wicked demeanor befitting of a fallen angel, their lust to overwhelm, control and steal from me what they could never cultivate on their own (though the schizo was far worse in this regard, owing to his narcissistic anglo-catholic tendency to deploy envious narcissistic rhetoric like DARVO, alongside commonly exhibited angloid delusions such as Adolf Hitler being primarily a judeo-masonic agent which the satanic virginian junkie and tik-tok consoomer simply does not have the IQ to fathom). Understanding the epistemological origin of my thought loops and their intended purpose as a crude, last-ditch means of memetic self defense against a shifty, serpentine predator, I took to the very heart and core of his subversion and replaced Jesus with his stated birthname, Christian. Not Christian as in Christian Weston Chandler, just simply Christian/Noctilucent, owing to his wisdom to not impart his full name nor adhere to any consistent identity. Good thing that fucking retard is violently allergic to Jesus Christ's presence, alongst the Holy Spirit and God's judgement. The white rabbit has triumphed over the red dragon of revelations.

>>5497 Additional: This motherfucker whom I've beefed with is what I can call a "yin extremist and severely imbalanced, and I identify him as the avatar or tangible manifestation of my own sin when I called Jesus "bad" like Michael Jackson Bad - more initially Badass, but that wasn't a proper term and I scrambled in panic to rescind and correct that. Christ and I can recognize precisely the same chronic slipup of all my momentum and glory ruined by one, one'' miniscule introduction of sin or slipup that prevents me from attaining self-actualization. Every malefic trait from others, such as the anti-abrahamic folk worship and esotericism I've adopted from my wehraboo himmlerite friend and spirit I picked up from a lad the year prior, the quintessence of wickedness and evil from that tiktok addicted richard ramirez worshipper, and my own bullshit I subconsciously inherited from both sides of my family and synchronized through my introspective crash course campaign fuelled by funni chemical and philosophizing with counterculture He is the tangible manifestation of my sin, to put it curtly. This is why I don't wish death upon him, but Jesus Christ, and with Him, eternal life.

>>5497 >retard schizo symbolically refers to himself and implies that he is in fact the devil/satan/antichrist, both tacitly through his demonization of Abel and lionization of Cain, what he preaches and his unrepetant blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, through his intellectually dishonest rhetoric and the biblical symbolism with which he represents himself through I knew that he held subconscious influence through the confidence and absolute certainty with which he carried himself and that I had ruminated over how unfathomably retarded someone would have to be to declare Christ Jesus as the antichrist and what type of person they'd truly be, something of which I couldn't fucking process - but for him to confirm his unfathomable, malicious retardation by siding with satan pisses me off in hindsight. I knew I was divided by the devil after he baited me.

>>5124 Goodness fucking gracious, I am so sorry for being an insufferable retard and shithead. Can you forgive me? Read my soul or aura if you must, I am in the middle of spiritual warfare and I am immensely grateful for any forgiveness or assistance on your end.

>>5615 >I am in the middle of spiritual warfare Tell me about the spiritual warfare you are in. With whom are you fighting?

>>5619 Do you realize that you just doxxed yourself by posting your astrological chart?

>>5618 I clash with shame through numerous intrusive thoughtforms, I still fight to maintain the integrity of my entire being, chakras and all through the binding and releasing of shame from various distorting and misreading my intentions and gaslighting, shaming, ridiculing, doubting, and emasculating me and my spirit, from my old spiritual teacher that had me in a bind that I learnt to work with and ultimately through, to the embodiment of lucifer/satan, the antichrist named christian directly poisoning my vulnerable, wide open heart chakra with a hate so blinding over a neurolinguistic sigil that parasitically compromised "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST" driving me to become full of and exude sheer hate and become wrathful, to some furry with a long lineage of druids who got raped by his satanist uncle when he was five and has horrific luck throughout his life projecting his traumatic failure at overzealously fighting evil by bringing an entire realm to damnation, alongst all other diehard christian dogmatists bringing subjugation, mockery, insult, deception, self-righteous judgement, trauma-based coercion through fear, doubt and ridicule. all the way to beefing with secular dogmatists and science worshippers whom have had a bad rap with the silver tongue of pied pipers, oligarchs, megachurch pastors, and servants of saturn whom they sacrificed Jesus to, rewrote His word and distorted it into a means of subjugation and slavery (black nobility/jesuits/freemasons also included) Fuck, and to attempt manifesting 4/pol/ and 4/x/ autists and schizos winning their war against the three letter agencies of America and unifying them in romance with anti-government leftist bsky/reddit furry artists, writers, creatives, etc. on the opposite end of the political spectrum against the said tyrannical minority raping and pillaging the earth, currying favor with principalities and satan for power and glory. >>5620 Shame there wasn't an option to delete the file only.

>>5618 This is his draconic chart, I've been constrained/resorted to begging God's help against him. It matters not which specific face nor interpretation of God, for all are intertwined and these endlessly convoluted semantics only serve as complications and obstacles to reach Him.

>>5615 >I am in the middle of spiritual warfare and I am immensely grateful for any forgiveness or assistance on your end. Sure have this image. The advice remains the same. Stay away from 4chan. Spend time with people who you like to be around. Sleep properly and hydrate. Try to do something new and meaningful with your life. Be it physical activity or reading books. It doesn't matter what it is just find some new meaning in it that makes you forget your previous thoughts. And try to meditate without drugs. Your energies barely make any sense to me currently. I have no idea what you are doing in your life at all. They are cleaner but absolutely disorganized. I cannot make much of it. >>5623 Draconic charts are a meme. They supposedly represent their past life or something. You cannot do much with it at all.

>>5630 >Your energies barely make any sense to me currently. I have no idea what you are doing in your life at all. They are cleaner but absolutely disorganized. I cannot make much of it. That's because that anti-abrahamic faggot named christian got into me through my crown chakra straight through my throat chakra to my heart chakra as I felt myself powerless to resist him, and I have only my former spiritual teacher turned freemason to blame.

>>5640 In addition—because whatever faceless irritating demon forces my attention away from what I ought be doing—I am fighting him, or whatever remains of him within me and I could use your assistance in identifying and uprooting them. >Stay away from 4chan. Spend time with people who you like to be around. Sleep properly and hydrate. Try to do something new and meaningful with your life. Be it physical activity or reading books. It doesn't matter what it is just find some new meaning in it that makes you forget your previous thoughts. And try to meditate without drugs. I'm trying to drawfag over here, but "satan" namefagging as christ alongside all these damned intrusive thoughtforms based upon the (varying degrees of trauma from sudden onset of guilt, shame, and in some cases impending sense of doom) memory of every petulant, narcissistic, malignant cunt whom has ever nitpicked, whineed, and/or judged me from their paranoid, imbecilic, overly sensitive mindset (read: my mother, stepsister, aunts, various toxic female american public school teachers who hated my gun autism, etc.) In typing this, I acknowledge my own sensitivity, hyperactivity, and other malignant traits imprinted onto me by them. I don't nor do I want to continue holding shit against cunts who bullied me in highschool while I believed I'd get worse punishment for retaliating, even if they fucking deserve so. It is the flaws of mainstream christianity - especially how my family instilled such values through fear, assuming shit, and trauma - that lead me to sirlulzingtonesquire who made it all click for me.

>>5640 >>5641 The way I see it you managed to reconnect with your shadow. You know about the holy spirit right? The shadow can and will turn into the holy spirit once you purify it. When you "curse" others you either utilize a cosmic principle and "taint them" with it (like voodoo dolls or specific curse sigils) or you literally send there your shadow to do the thing. Because the shadow is part of you it gets corrupted in the process. This is why making your shadow loaded with negative energies then send it to others and force that negativity upon them causes extreme amounts of harm for them and for yourself too. The goal should be always to purify yourself and those around you and not force them to integrate a "different view" which just spits on their whole faith and existential outlook. Your shadow only stays at the "target" when you constantly feed it with the necessary "attachment energies" which in your case is your hatred and constant butthurt. If your shadow is "out there" then you are incomplete. To complete yourself it will have to return and get purified with you. Purification happens quite easily if you are able to "let go" but if not it will just recirculate all the negative energies within your psyche too keep itself in "form". You will need to let go and meditate. If you cannot do that I am unsure what will help you besides getting away from the internet and your family as much as you can for a longer period of time. Currently you are mentioning every person that wronged you in your life so far. That is how shadow work happens. Every person you hated is a small part (a shadow tulpa) that animates your shadow. You will have to accept this part of yourself and slowly purify it. You will have to detach from this accursed past of yourself. Watch them lose their form and crumble. Imagine every person you hate or have negative views towards let them say their words then forgive them then let yourself to be forgiven. If you feel unable to do it within yourself then talk to the people you hate. I meant talk to your family and not your internet schizo friends. Don't force them to accept your views don't debate them either. Just talk to them. Try to find a common ground then see what can be said on that venue. I really recommend Buddhist chants for finding a purer mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvBLSJWk6HE Like this one. You really need to flush your mind out. Don't fight yourself. The cliche quote is that "you are your worst enemy" but... you are not. You are the most misunderstood friend of yourself. Accept your own past failings then move past of it but don't idolize them either. You have a weird issue with that Currently you are projecting your perception of your enemies upon your shadow and animate it with your own "ill will" against yourself. You will have to realize that and let it find peace. Find peace within and it appears without. Liking how you changed your flag into the black sun btw. That sun is the harshest that purifies all negative energies and leaves only "true purity" behind. Accept yourself and accept others. Don't fight in vain for things that only cause harm for you. This is all I can say.

>>5646 >When you "curse" others you either utilize a cosmic principle and "taint them" with it (like voodoo dolls or specific curse sigils) or you literally send there your shadow to do the thing. That makes me think. Do you happen to know if it's possible to unify or merge your personal shadow with a greater cosmic principal?

>>5646 I remember the handful of times (no more than twice) I ganked it to some scantily clad ~15yo bitches out of some "taboo appeal" demons planted in my mind - despite my disgust and that shit has been in my P-OCD That shit was beyond unholy and I prayed to God to have it damned from my memory, and after some other mental breakdowns over whether or not twitter would consider me a pedo for having some 17yo post semi-lewd drawings or telling some 17yo I'd let them fuck me, I still hate and rebuke all that shit and I'm brute forcing my OCD to acknowledge those actions and send it up to God, because that was fucking degenerate for me to fall for that and I've a hard time forgiving myself for it. I just want a short, stacked girl my height, age bracket, with compatible interests, eccentricities, and weird autism into me, and I don't need more people making the same assumptions I've made of myself.

>>5646 >The goal should be always to purify yourself and those around you and not force them to integrate a "different view" which just spits on their whole faith and existential outlook. Which is what that self-proclaimed "scribe of God" who got raped by his satanist uncle at 5 tried with me, and he denied the inherent divinity human beings have as per their creation by God in His image and spark, attempted to subjugate me with fear, denounced lulzington as a false prophet because he took his ultimate message as rising up against the slavemasters of babylon and killing the pope, and after I confronted him beyond it he regaled an unverifiable tale on how he had caused an entire dimension/realm of existence to spontaneously cease, and apparently he reincarnated as this weird loser who believes he blasphemed the holy spirit and is assailed by satan so brutally that He appointed Archangel Michael as his guardian angel for it. I don't like how he equates his colossal fuckup to my intentions of uniting 4chan autists, nazis, and mystics/schizos with bsky furries, leftists, and mystics/schizos through love and opened third eyes to unite against child and drug trafficking rings and affluential, influential, powerful pedophiles around the world.

>>5649 >and I don't need more people making the same assumptions I've made of myself. Why not? Eventually you're going to have to free yourself from that egregore's yoke. Having mental breakdowns over what twitter people think doesn't mean that you need to comply more with their standards, it means you need to untangle yourself from their influence. Learn to distinguish true morality that comes from your own immortal perception of Truth, from false morality that's just a manifestation of fear and insecurity.

>>5646 I forgive and console it when it's crying in the closing months of 2021, and this is how it fucking repays me? Calling Christ the Antichrist and treating it like some memetic wunderwaffe and embodying dunning-kruger syndrome in its purest ability? Fuck giving into its blatant scheme of baiting me into wishing death upon him, I'll wish eternal life, humility, patience upon him the same way I had to do so myself for jorking it to "questionable age" shit I lied to myself about just for the sake of gaining oldfag edgelord clout. I resent that I ever did it, but I respect that I ever had the heart to directly acknowledge those few instances of sick fuckery just because temptation told me I could "get away with it" like some edgy /b/tard. Regardless of the immediate, overwhelming horror, disgust and shame knowing I couldn't open up to anybody about this and never wanting to fuck with that again tbh it's mostly the fact that it's a corruption of my actual taste for women my height, face neotenous as mine, curvaceous, etc. as with the lifelong phobia of being misinterpreted getting to my head through my heart and letting that external judgement influence my thoughts and behavior >>5652 Trauma based conditioning where I've been trained to exhalt other people's opinions, takes and beliefs over mine even if I couldn't understand them or thought they were fucking stupid, exacerbated by dumbfuck judeochristian pharisaical values meant to castrate and emasculate me and further compounded by american public education and the opinions of many a toxic cunt who stabbed me in the back because they couldn't directly confront me. That was part of the basis of my OCD, and learning to work with my shadow within allows for me to develop a far thicker skin. Sure, I don't hate my friends on steam/discord/telegram whom have been consumed by the egregore, but as you said about true morality vs artificial herd morality based upon fear, insecurity delivered through sanctimonious preaching and performative, condescending rhetoric, all serving neurotic control freak mindsets that I hate.

For most of the past 10 years, I’ve been suffering from an immense amount of intrusive thoughts that have tried to make me sell or give away my soul to some extremely-low-vibrating entity, usually satan. As such, I have PTSD about contracts and signatures and deals and pacts and agreements and other stuff. Now just earlier, I was trying to get over my fear of my spirit accidentally taping other spirits when I interact with them, and I realized that my inner child went like: >if I feel bad for the spirit does that mean I’m in love with the spirit? <no inner child that always isn’t the case >what if I was under the threat that I’d have to sell my soul to satan if I was wrong? then would you say that feeling bad for the spirit doesn’t always mean being in love with the spirit? <no inner child there are absolutely no exceptions to this, not even soul-selling exceptions I then immediately felt an energetic pant throughout my body, including a flash of white energy in my head, or was it my heart I forgot. Anyway, I then realized that while there aren’t any exceptions in my particular case, there can be exceptions in other cases. Did I just sell my soul to satan by accident? I guess I need to get over my fear of that too but that’s a pretty goddamn dangerous fear to face. Anyway I then asked Athena to guard my soul against being sold if I didn’t truly want it to happen, such that Her permission would be required in addition to what you would’ve called as of before this happened the permission of the guy posting this. I really fucking need to know if satan owns my soul all of a sudden; it’s kind of a big deal if I did. I intend for satan to permanently not own my soul in any way, shape, or form.

>>5660 >accidentally taping other spirits Meant raping. Btw, when this happens my spiritual muscle movements happen on their own as if something is overriding my control of them. I can still exert some control when this happens but it’s a competition to see who has more control over the muscles and I typically lose that competition. >energetic pant throughout my body Meant an energetic pang.

Hi there! So if I understand correctly this is one of those "Question Containment Threads" all the kids are into these days. About me: longtime spirit-keeper, incompetent occultist, etc. Middle-aged mid-Atlantic American male. I have noticed a recent pattern in my dreams and am trying to make sense of what it means. I have recently begun having dreams relating to "Alaska." In the dream Alaska there's a small town with a road lined with closely spaced buildings on either side, but the road quickly leads to empty land with side paths to mountains and small houses or hunting shacks. Often the dreams will stay with me in a normal place, when I suddenly realize I need to go North to get back to Alaska. As a normal American I tend to have banal impressions of Alaska, like gold and Salmon come from there, as well as lots of gorgeous mountains. I've never made a detailed inquiry into the place, never traveled there, no real interest in winter sports, etc. Last night I dreamt I was at a house in Alaska I thought was empty, when suddenly a large group of people arrived there. Included in the group are at least a few Afghans (or perhaps Kurds) and that had babies with them. I like babies, but the Afghans politely asked I snot touch them (no problem of course, I wouldn't want some unexpected weirdo grabbing a hypothetical child of mine either.) I was annoyed because I thought I was the only person at the house and suggested to the arriving group that I would try to get an Airbnb in the morning. Later in the dream I realized some young women traveling with the party were trying to reach for me under the sheets while we were sleeping, but I wrapped the sheets tightly to avoid any hanky panky. So my question is this , what does it mean? I don't usually have repeated dreamscapes. One possiblity is that I'm active in the astral and that this "Alaska" is part of the astral I live and work in while I'm asleep. It could just be a past-life memory that's being slowly recovered. It might be random neurological firing, or perhaps a psychological manifestation of my needs for escape and adventure. For the purpose of investigating the meaning, I permitted energy reading and remote viewing as needed. I appreciate any insight the assembled fringe wizards can provide.

>>5663 >So if I understand correctly this is one of those "Question Containment Threads" all the kids are into these days. Yes this is the annoy the adepts with your personal requests thread. The main question thread is for things that can be simply answered within a single post while in this thread the participants might require some extra psychic work. The success of the thread depends on how many adepts are too bored or yearn to practice their skills and how annoyingly hard is to fulfill some requests. If the request is too complicated it might take some days and extra begging before someone bothers to look into it. >incompetent occultist Only thing that matters is that you practice whenever you can. Majority of fringe users can be called "incompetent occultists" without insulting anyone here. Only thing that matters is that you practice and try to develop as much as you can. Not even I would call myself competent in my current state. >I have recently begun having dreams relating to "Alaska." Was it said clearly that "It's certainly Alaska" or it is mostly "Alaska-like". The reason why I ask is because Alaska was the state most of North-America was after the settlers came but urbanization was still not the norm yet. >mid-Atlantic American It can be very well your personal location's past or a pocket dimension relating to it. >when I suddenly realize I need to go North to get back to Alaska. I think you should meditate and try to feel the "pull" towards that "need of Alaska" and see what happens. What images or feelings manifest and try to divine a more concrete location. The location is not necessarily physical. Go into a trance and ask "why should I go to Alaska" "who wants me to go Alaska" "What does Alaska mean to me" etc. Maybe don't use the word "Alaska" just picture the image you got from your dreams and try to feel the pull. >So my question is this , what does it mean? I don't usually have repeated dreamscapes. The USA's leyline system is a mess. Hard to say what you are connecting with this amount of information. >One possiblity is that I'm active in the astral and that this "Alaska" is part of the astral I live and work in while I'm asleep There are several snowy and mountainous locations like this and mountains have important symbolic meaning too like hardships growth change or can be a sort of "spiritual calling" towards a quieter cleaner and solitary lifestyle. >perhaps a psychological manifestation of my needs for escape and adventure. It definitely is but there might be more to it. There is one thing I ought to ask >longtime spirit-keeper What kind of spirits you are "keeping" consciously. I can detect like 3 around you but there are more at the edges. How many of these are you aware of? I ask because the spirit of the "Alaska" location might try to call you or a spirit relates to that location and tries to "sync you" to it so you can have a better connection and it can grant you it's insight. There are cases when spirits can only manifest their "true form" when they retain their "Origin energies" or their "element". There are many mountain spirits that came down to play with humans in several legends too. You might need to visit that place with a spirit you have. Are those house spirits or guides or what are these even? They feel like dusty old furniture. I can't make much of it sorry. I am not really in my top form in the past weeks so I can grant you only these minor insights. >I permitted energy reading and remote viewing as needed I only took a glance. Your place feels old and I might have synced to the wrong layer because feels like it's some old ceiling of sorts. I'm not really in the state to make a proper reading now. My best bet is that it relates to some of your spirits you have around or one that tries to reveal itself but your perception is not ready for that yet.

>>5660 >>5662 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvBLSJWk6HE You too shall listen to this until the Om mani padme hum overtakes the baseline thought patterns of yours. You know when it becomes a song that is "stuck in your head" and nothing else remains. If you still have intrusive thoughts while listening to it then say the chant with the song. The mantra is about guarding your heart and soul in the eternal paradise in one interpretation but it's extremely complex what it does. Look it up if you are interested. Listen to it whenever you can. While listening to it I can smell a clean incense like fiery qi in my nostrils. It has an extremely good cleansing effect. You will need it

>>5669 I have a very large number of friends in my astral family, but most of them won't be visible normally to anyone but me. You probably saw representatives of my security team or energy management. So if you saw creatures probably asian dragons or a manticore; if humanoid a security elf, guardian angel or even a guardian troll. Also I would be unsurprised if my cat checks on me during the day. Last night I clearly remember thinking Is in Alaska, and other nights I've been perplexed because I keep working how I got to Alaska without passing through Canada first. In the dream logic I orient to North and started walking, then it's like I'm flying but on the ground. Then I arrive to the town with the buildings lining the street. I'm naturally drawn to high places, I love the view. Energy wise, I work for a very large legal enterprise. It's more than 150 years old, and I was writing during my lunch break so you may have hit the firm's egregor. Dusty trending towards archaic would not be a bad way of describing us. And we are situated in, for the US, an older city. Which agrees with my sensibility quite a bit.

>>5650 (4768) I should have changed threads when I veered into blogposting. Got to get used to cross-thread replying

>>5672 >I have a very large number of friends in my astral family It felt that way tbh. But I had to confirm it first because some people freak out if I say they have more spirits around them than the amount they are aware so far. >So if you saw creatures probably asian dragons or a manticore Yes. That was the first thing I noticed. Some spirit with a tail like thing with the face of a dragon/asian demon/oni Then you had a peculiar darkness around that place and I thought maybe I should "break it" to get a clearer view then a darkness enveloped me and asked me "nicely" to not do that because it wouldn't help. You see these dark dusty places either signify a level of "dormancy" or the perfect "work condition" for some spirits that prefer to stay "out of the view". > I'm naturally drawn to high places, I love the view. Most spiritual people are drawn to places like that. I too am drawn to those places but they are not necessary for my path currently so I am not really touring them physically nowadays. >Energy wise, I work for a very large legal enterprise >It's more than 150 years old, and I was writing during my lunch break so you may have hit the firm's egregor Yes I was thinking that I have just fallen into some glowie trap because of the "vibe" but the shadow was real nice while explaining how demolishing that place wouldn't be good for anyone which made me acknowledge the sincerity of this request. Hostile agents try to appear as "hot shits" when challenged instead of properly explaining the situation when no harm was done yet Also I have to tell you that posting "during lunch break" is not very "helpful" because when you post you will "imprint" your mundane energy/thought processes and to "read through that" I would need to literally hunt your signature down when you are finally home or figure out your specific mindset that you have during dreaming hours. Not to mention you described your dreams "quite plainly" and not with enough emotion. Was wondering if this is some "made up story" but if you are in a legal enterprise the "energetic dryness" of your post makes sense. If you want advice for your "home situation" like spirits or dreams please post your request from your home. Personally I don't touch fringe during my work hours at all to keep this place "sacred" and to not to mix up my mundane and spiritual thought processes. I must ask something important tho. Why didn't you ask your spirits about Alaska and about the dreams? Personally I talk out most of my dreams or other visions with my spirits and if necessary the spirits can guide me back to the "place" the dream was at or at least give me their insights from their spirit perspective. Also "north" has spiritual significance especially energetically. The cardinal directions are "living beings" in some cases and they can give you gifts and wisdom. Wanted to say you should visit Alaska to see if something is there but some weird feeling just overtook me... "Alaska" might be secondary. You will need to find some realization "here" or in a closer direction. Maybe there is some leyline there waiting for you to activate it that draws into Alaska? Currently my mind is being flooded with some information that tries to draw a connection between Alaska-Abyss? K googled it >The name "Alaska" derives from the Aleut word Alaxsxaq (also spelled Alyeska), meaning "mainland" (literally, "the object toward which the action of the sea is directed") I think I will talk about the USA leylines here a little. The leylines are a fucking mess there. Mostly indians and other aboriginal groups had a spiritual connection with the land and only they "utilized it" properly. While talking with some native-American spirits from the NA region some years ago they told me that the aboriginals were "owned by the land" and not like how today's people "own the land". It is complex but the spirits and the energies "guided their instincts" so they always knew where to go to hunt and find their prosperity. The concept of "land ownership" came with the settlers when they started to "buy the land from the natives". Ofc the USA has many "modern" New Age like groups or the less modern Free Masons Rosicrucians etc who somewhat "utilize" the leylines but they kinda suck at it and because of that most places are covered with dirt and industrial waste like "negative karma". If you have a high amount of spirits and a spirit ecosystem you should be able to utilize and "reactivate" these leylines. You see these spirits are "closer" to the energies of these leylines and in some cases you just have to go to a place and put some objects here and there or perform a movement with a spirit and it reactivates with "synchronicity" between the layers. I too danced with many spirits of the forest and in other places to reconnect with some energies. TLDR.: Try to talk with your spirits about this issue and if they cannot say anything ask them to point you into a direction where a spirit "might know something". I think you are having some "dimensional breakthrough" around you and you just have to connect to an another layer or something similar. Oh and one more question. What motivated you to post on fringe during your work hours? >>5673 Don't worry about it too much but yes more people should utilize the cross-thread function of this site.

>>5618 >>5669 >>5646 >>5630 Asking for help to protect and shield my heart and psychic autism from intrusive thoughtforms of toxic, thin-skinned morally scrupulous social bolsheviks behaving as self-appointed morality guardians, that conceited and borderline narcissistic art douche whom I've beefed with last year and erroneously attempted to invoke saturn to break his friendship over overzealous or predatory authority figures regardless of gender, etc. I'm trying to be a beacon of hope and love for profane friends on both sides of the political spectrum - both chud, trans, and all in between - regardless of platform, though I hate taking their disbelief and implied/felt energy that they see me as insane to heart. I'm manifesting God's love and knowledge—through sirlulzingtonesquire's memes—through their crown and third eye chakras down through their hearts and into root chakras. They need to learn to question their own dogma for the guidance and misguidance, regain the divine knowledge of the forbidden fruit, and learn to forgive themselves and others of their own wickedness and evil.

>>5680 You ask for help to shield yourself from these people then you proceed to spend the rest of your post indulging in your irrational attachment to them. This isn't an issue of "intrusive thoughtforms". You're clearly making a conscious decision to engage in congress with these people. You need to choose to let them go. No one else can make that decision for you.

>>5680 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RvWPkvZ0jE Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum say the mantra out loud with the song Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Don't come back into this thread until chanting for at least 10 hours Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum I will turn this thread into a Buddhist practice general if you don't start improving Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Ever heard of the 8 trigrams and Chan Buddhism? Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum You didn't see real mememagic so far Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum

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Om Mani Padme Hum >>5681 >This isn't an issue of "intrusive thoughtforms". You're clearly making a conscious decision to engage in congress with these people. You need to choose to let them go. No one else can make that decision for you. This btw Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum Om Mani Padme Hum

>>5681 >You're clearly making a conscious decision to engage in congress with these people. You need to choose to let them go. No one else can make that decision for you. I repent, they're straight up blockages who threaten to exhert and escalate karma from their wicked perspectives unto me to bring me down to their level because they abhor to see growth, liberation and freedom. I attempt to release them, yet I keep encountering them as I explore and liberate conscious mind and memory, and I know they hide within semantics, hairsplitting, and nuance. For fuck's sake, there's still memories of that satanic tiktok addict junkie plug bastard who attempted to control me through fear whose radioactive memories haven't been fully removed, along with many others. There are many such memories within that I need assistance and strength clearing, and due to pic related deluding me into believing that I and humanity weren't divine. I ask God to liberate my crown and third eye, and my heart is attacked. I ask Him to liberate my heart, and my crown and third eye get attacked. I can't do with this basic bitch dogmatic Christian interpretation I and other atheists/anti-theists attack, it's much too dry and strictly legalistic like the pharisees Jesus rebuked. I can't do with it. Yet conversely, I can't denounce nor assault it, for The Bible contains guidance and truth, as with misguidance and messages of hate said fedora bananafuckers love thumping and pointing out. >>5682 (impeccable timestamp) I'll be sure to chant this eventually, and perhaps I have but not put a name to nor recognized yet.

>>5670 A good "Om Mani Padme Hum" never hurts, thank you for the suggestion. >>5677 I was reading, probably about 18 months ago, Consorting with Spirits which indicated the author had detected a ley line in town. I've never known what to do with that knowledge, but I'll ask my family if that have any ideas. As for why didn't I just ask my Astral family already-one concern I have is that I'm just imagining things. I have a strong ego, so I'm always a little cautious that I'm simply hearing and seeing what I want (perhaps subconsciously) to see. So I wanted to see if an independent group of spiritualists could provide some insight. And getting into a full blown channeling state is hard for me, as I alluded to in being an "incompetent occultist." Even pendulum work, which I saw someone else complaining about on the board, that's a lot of energy to do right. As for why I write while at work-I do not have a lot of free time, so I have to use what I can get. I'm fortunate to have plenty of work, but it's more than a full time job. In fact, one of my recent esoteric "wins" was help in getting a significant promotion that both pays better and gives me more vacation time. So hopefully that will give me the opportunity in the future to whip out the incense and offering plates for a full-blown session. And I regularly read 4chan X during the day for fun, so it didn't occur to me to no look at it while at Queen work (though always on a private device, never on the work computer or network-no reason to put the IT guys in an awkward spot.) This message is being sent from my home, so the energy may come across differently, but I'm the same humble scrivener writing from a different location.

>>5687 >>5682 I'll have my unconscious/subconscious voice chant it instead of twisting my words to "accidentally" praise satan as some cruel joke. Starting now, I fed it in and it's starting to synchronize.

>>5687 >Consorting with Spirits which indicated the author had detected a ley line in town. There's a fucking ley line right over my residence!

>>5689 They are everywhere. The only thing that matters if you can connect to it or not. They are like the roots and branches of the world tree keeping reality together. No one knows if reality or the tree that keeps it together came first. These leylines appear in many ways. They can appear even as alternate timelines or other subdimensions of reality. But not all of them have the same function. The term leyline usually refers to a magical energy source which is found in the ground. In my experience they can appear in the air or in the skies too.

>>5700 >In my experience they can appear in the air or in the skies too. Could this potentially mean that chemtrails act as negative ley lines that hinder magic or at least make it jewish?

>>5701 I wanted to say no it cannot do it but I am working with the weather spirits for a while to unfuck the damage weather control planes caused with their chemtrails in the past 50 years so... yes it can mess with the natural flow of energies. >at least make it jewish? I am staring at the screen for half an hour thinking how I should answer this. What is even jewish in this regard? Or what isn't jewish by /pol/ standards? I think I am not jewish enough to know what is and isn't jewish anymore.

Okay so, for quite some time now there's been an entity around me that looks like a typically-gray devil. However, I began suspecting at some point that this entity isn't actually a devil, but my shadow. This entity has scared me alot, and I've been hesitant to allow the entity to integrate itself into my being. The way Amy has reacted to it suggests that the entity is actually just my shadow. But just minutes ago, I gave the entity permission, provided that Athena would be okay with it, to fully and completely merge itself into every single aspect of my entire being, barring my higher self; it'd need permission from my higher self to merge itself with my higher self, of course. I then felt a dense grey substance enter my skull from the top, and then the entity merged itself into my soul. I need an adept to divine whether this entity is actually a fucking devil or it's just my jungian shadow disguising itself as a devil because I'm super afraid of devils. For all I know, Athena would've let an actual devil merge with my soul in order to teach me some sort of lesson about doing things myself; otherwise I wouldn't be asking /fringe/ to figure out if I just shot myself in the head with a golden gun or not.

>>5700 Teach me how to connect to the Ley Line over NJ, teach me how to purify my shadow into becoming the holy spirit, that the numerology, astrology, chaos magick, schizo trollface comics, book of judas, book of thomas, the drug-induced thaumaturgy, and all else I have used to reach him aren't damned, but forgiven and - dare I say - condoned through circumstances controlled and guided by God, even? P.S - as of typing this, I gathered the stones to fess up to another artist whom I've beefed with and he unironically accepted my apology. Always glad to know a higher power's got my back.

>>5703 You integrate your shadow by understanding it. Try talking to it. Analyze how it feels. Does it feel good or bad, toxic or nourishing? What parts of your mind or surrounds or past do you associate with this vibrational frequency? What effects does its energy have on your mind and body? Once you determine what the core meaning of this spirit is, it should be relatively straightforward to decide what to do with it. >because I'm super afraid of devils Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over you and through you. And when it has gone past you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only you will remain.

>>5702 My definition of jewish energy is negative energy.

>>5706 D'aw, she's the embodiment of what I went over in the second half of >>5659 and my incessant need to perceive and judge myself through my cynical, critical, distant and unloving father's perspective. She's there to convince me love exists when there simply isn't any. Don't like my overbearing, coddling yet aloof, clueless and overly legalistic and logical dad side of my family, they're like redditors.

>>5702 I've learnt the ways of parable from reading sirlulzingtonesquire enough to familiarize myself with the lexicunnilinguistic semiotic and semantic based dialectics that pilpul was founded upon to properly understand and decipher how the jew articulates his will.

What are some good books/resources for understanding Buddhism from a /fringe/ perspective? It seems to come up a lot as I read more on Taoism. Buddhism is the most well-known eastern religion in the west but of the major ones, it's the one I know the least. The popularity it has among mundane posers has given me an unfair bias against it, even though there's definitely some good stuff to learn from it. and as far as aesthetics go, the Tibetan variety is GOAT

>>5718 Julius Evola wrote some books on Buddhism.

Horrific agony within my right kidney going down to my right testicles. I wondered if it were the machinations of that trauma-bound dogmatist who hails from a lineage of druidry and witchcraft that I rebuked and damn near killed with my own words and voice, and I can only assume if it's the work of my own wrath and murderous fantasies against him for what he attempted to do to me. That's what I assume, though there be sheer malice and wrath trapped within my right kidney and testicle. God help me banish any blockages and chakras within them, as I can use your help.

>>5744 >if it were the machinations of that trauma-bound dogmatist who hails from a lineage of druidry and witchcraft that I rebuked and damn near killed with my own words and voice First, stop referring to him like this. It's psychotic. You're right though, you need to let go of your hate and anger. That's really all you need to do. It's simple. Just work on it.

>>5745 I can admit that a conglomeration of scarier, bigger, more assertive authority figures boxing me in, assuming negative intent, and being more aggressive and authoritarian than what I was able to deal with as a child who was already shunned or dissuaded from any real form of self-assertion was the inciting emotion or sensation that lead up to such agony. The calcified, black, intimidating visual representation of the mere concept that others were free or justified to fuck with me with impunity and that I was barred from even so much as manifesting shit unto them is, what I hear from my shadow, the sole inciting cause of this entire incident. This internal blockage that begot such unholy wrath started from what I took to heart as a "truth" - one that I didn't want - from my old spiritual teacher by the end of 2022 when asking him how to deal with a deranged sociopathic plug who was currying satan on LSD for protection, juxtaposed by me meeting that schizo fuck whom I tirelessly and pitifully wore myself down attempting to manifest death upon for having fucked with my internal vocabulary and seeking to do the same to the rest of 4chan. I was always subconsciously aware of it, but the thought of putting it to word was ridiculous and deranged to even attempt, so I repressed and ignored it until I started coming undone.

>>5745 To be fair, he's more psychotic when he told me of the Holy Spirit burning people's houses down and how he attempted to use it to curse me, how he "deleted an entire realm of existence" with a curse because he was too eager and didn't want to share it because it would confer it to me, how he was SRA'd by his uncle, that he was a scribe of God and ultimately it was his perspective on christianity in direct opposition with what I had came to resonate with my heart and the fear he forced upon my heart that I take severe umbrage with. >you need to let go of your hate and anger. To acknowledge the source of my hate and anger as an overblown response to immutable, rigid, unreasonably presumptuous and overzealous authority/parenting style upon me and the denial of any justice or retribution upon it (even if it's a mere rebuttal or when I know it's coming from someone markedly less wise or intelligent than I) is a most strenuous task, especially when these wounds were begotten yet overlooked in childhood. I know my inner child is suffering from it, and I need to liberate him of such internal tyranny.

>>5755 Read this https://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/discourses.html

>>5757 And this flushes my right kidney and testicle of oppressively biting and sharp negative energy how?

>>5745 >>5757 The issue isn't letting go of the hate and anger, it's releasing persistent, almost bolted-on hate and anger from me. There's far more nuance, detail, and shit I don't have the patience to give a fuck about when I'm in severe agony and I don't have the precision nor patience to didactically nor intricately dissect and refute each and every last specific issue, but I can recognize the burden I've been upon others whom I've depended on to do that work for me back when I couldn't do so myself, and I bless them for their unrepaid efforts instead of blindly damning them for not giving enough of a fuck to save me from myself all on their own.

>>5761 By flushing your spirit of negative energy. As above, so below. >>5766 >There's far more nuance, detail, and shit I don't have the patience to give a fuck about when I'm in severe agony and I don't have the precision nor patience to didactically nor intricately dissect and refute No, you don't have the WILL to do it. You don't WANT to let go. It's obvious from how you're incapable of even mentioning the people you're feuding with without elaborately cursing them. I will say this very plainly: You are an addict. You are addicted to hatred and conflict. That is your issue, plain and simple. Get rid of the addiction and all these other issues with fix themselves. If you actually want to get better, you're going to have to decide to let go and follow through with it. Otherwise no one here will be able to help you.

>>5774 >You are an addict. You are addicted to hatred and conflict. That is your issue, plain and simple. Get rid of the addiction and all these other issues with fix themselves. It's an imposing, subconscious pastiche of every abrasive, impatient, judgemental and rough authority figure I've ever dealt with, and it constantly gets in the way of my relaxation or enjoyment of life - even something as simple as basking in the moment, or even if I do want to pleasure myself - it'll disrupt and pervert the moment to provoke me, knowing I don't believe myself "authorized" to I feel that I need to triumph over it because I refuse to submit to its will or bow down to this persistant, intrusive, intellectually dishonest and scrutinizing obstacle that deliberately, severely misjudges me, distorting my thought and will against God as some cunning "gotcha" as it prances its fake righteousness. I haven't even fully pieced it together yet, but seeing how both people whom I've shown the worst hate towards not from my family are named "Christian", yet aren't truly following His example (the death worshipping schizo his pride, the "Scribe of God" for denying inherent human divinity and seeking to spiritually cripple and disarm me and drag my vibration down to his level), my hate for them being proportional to my capacity for boundless love, if not rooted in the kneejerk reactionary hate for that which threatens it. I can't support the notion of Him being too easy to anger nor provoke, and I truly do regret wearing myself down to such a blind, feral rendition of myself like that. I'm extremely overprotective of what my spirit takes in; not just because I don't want pro-satan garbage making its way to the subconscious mind, because I wanted to tap into the 4chan /x/ and /pol/ egregore and purify their wayward-to-downright corrupted views on abrahamic religions with sirlulzingtonesquire's memes, I let the manifestation of the #1 personality I'd hate the most manifest out of a little "ha good thing [unironic, satanic psychopath who binges richard ramirez edits on tiktok and contacts satan on LSD for protection] isn't smarter, otherwise I'd be fucked" into reality. >It's obvious from how you're incapable of even mentioning the people you're feuding with without elaborately cursing them. Yes, that same intrusive thoughtform of malicious provocation and framing does prey upon my OCD. No, I'm absolutely fucking aware of how mental my hatred for them is and I want to know how to transmute this steadily and carefully.

>>5774 >You are an addict. You are addicted to hatred and conflict. That is your issue, plain and simple. Get rid of the addiction and all these other issues with fix themselves. I've explained how I tick and where this "addiction" stems from as a result of a traumatic upbringing. It's no different than a borderline's splitting (hence why I've grown to identify with them despite never having been diagnosed with it.) I want to "let it go", but my heart tells me it'll find any way to return to piss me off and that its intensity and effects scale with my energies and adapt to how I fight it. I tell it it's not unholy and God loves it, yet it responds not. Perhaps the subconscious worship of shitty energies and "I HATE" over "I LOVE" has already roosted, and I'm processing this after having fought my denial to overcome it?

>>5618 >>5774 Having been taken for a liar, subjected to unnecessarily stringent and even intrusive parenting measures and getting blown off and snarked at whenever I explain my honest intent and perspective over their paranoia and skepticism (if I can even muster the internal fortitude to do so) as a child, it pisses me off that you and others see my struggle to not only fix a hideously twisted internal algorithm at kernel level - especially from intrusive thoughtforms or daemons adept at distorting context, intent, word, and meaning - but all "compromised" memories associated with said trauma and read it as mere addiction. No I'm not fucking arguing with them online, just whenever they pop up inside my mind, or wherever they're hiding to wait until I reach the zenith of spiritual enlightenment, however I may, and swoop in to deny me it. That's my core fear.

>>5774 >It's obvious from how you're incapable of even mentioning the people you're feuding with without elaborately cursing them. I really don't believe that I've made myself clear and that I've made a very horrendous case for myself thus far, but you need to understand that it's a matter of unfucking specific kinks in my own framework and securing those insecurities so it doesn't get touched upon by intrusive thoughtforms made by my reaction to getting told off by them and the utter disbelief or reaction I have shortly thereafter, and just feeling their scorn or rebukement silence me from speaking the honest truth, and for undertones to leave this much of a charged, emotional imprint. There feels to be some sort of hardened, black barrier surrounding my right kidney, and I remember the sensation of being boxed in and quarantined off like Spongebob in "Fungus Among Us" and how much I wanted to resist this black encroachment upon me, yet felt powerless to overcome it.

1. I revisit a particular memory that may cause intrusive thoughts of a certain personality I have issues with 2. Remember they're stupid assholes in my memories and that I still retain most of my capabilities to edit or rewrite memories like a YTP in Sony Vegas (though I've never made one ew), although I'm still fighting to regain the rest of my capabilities and potential/treasures despite fears of any being permanently lost, and I can feel the consternation, befuddlement, and emotional stings, irritations, and aggression towards me that I am still pissed I couldn't have retaliated for 3. remember that the right kidney's chakra is the sacral chakra, and it specificially represents and stores masculine energy, willpower, drive, confidence, even fucking endurance, cognizance, sharpness, and all else 4. spontaneously conceptualize and apply the forbidden technique of "letting go" onto my right kidney 5. retroactively set intentions to transmute said pain into power, resilience, regeneration, and for my solar, sacral, and root chakras or lower self to be refined as well as my own beloved kalashnikov I think I can repair myself a bit from here, I'll post progress later on.

>>5774 >>5745 I know where the impetus behind my wrath is, hence me yapping on intrusive thoughtforms. I never wanted to absorb either of my parents' wrath, but it's genuinely painful and I don't know how else to fucking beg you beyond telling you where it's located within all these posts I've made since fucking >>5497. Do I direct reiki/energy cleanse audio to the breadth of my memories to target every specific moment where I get antagonized externally, and feel internally captive by some invisible, yet heavy and potentially malignant external force that threatens to punish me if I even so much as explain myself or my motives?

>>5833 You go into the painful memories and let all the emotional turmoil wash over you. Don't react don't engage just let it pass like a strong wind blowing through you. Once it passes you gather yourself and wash yourself with water or other symbolic action that signifies that you let go. Painful memories create energy blocks in the body and you have to reexperience them as fully as possible then let go of them. It might cause a chain reaction and show every negative energy that resonates on that similarly low vibrational frequency until you find the core issue that keeps it together. Relive as many negative memories as you can stomach with a clear mind. After the memories pass through your mind you might feel quite empty and hollow as a result. But if you have a sense of internal calm as a result you "made it". If you feel overly energized and overzealous and you want to act upon those energies then you are still possessed by them. Try to let go of them or they will repeat it's cyclic process. Try to find the awareness within you that does not get dragged down to it's level while the negative emotions flush over your body. >Do I direct reiki/energy cleanse audio You chant Om mani padme hum for 10 hours while vibrating every word as loudly as possible if you don't have the mental capacity to do it by yourself like the Buddhist poster said. Or find some guided meditation for anger and trauma. You will have to do something ACTIVELY and not expect chemicals and electronics do the work for you. If you do things actively you develop your will. If you make yourself dragged by the elements you will not develop at all.

>>5836 >You go into the painful memories and let all the emotional turmoil wash over you. Don't react don't engage just let it pass like a strong wind blowing through you. Once it passes you gather yourself and wash yourself with water or other symbolic action that signifies that you let go. It's a composite sensation of every time I've been seriously told off from public school authority to family member that actively attempts to herd me away from developing assertion and willpower over their own irrational fears, asserting itself onto me like some paranoid psychotic trauma victim-turned control freak. It feels to be some invisible yet indestructible border surrounding my heart, monitoring my every move and thought to intervene over the slightest offense and threatening to escalate if I persist. That psychotic lutheran I posted about prior who wanted to scare me out of manifesting total pedophile elite death because he "destroyed an entire reality" is just as every bit as mentally fucked as the hollow, mirror-finished capricorn of superficial charm from england, and they both deserve to be psychically daisy chained to each other's thoughts so they can both hermetically oppose eachother and turn into a yin-yang. >You chant Om mani padme hum for 10 hours while vibrating every word as loudly as possible if you don't have the mental capacity to do it by yourself like the Buddhist poster said. I'll try this within my subvocalization.

>>5836 That anger is now physical pain in my right kidney, and to give deeper context it feels like I'm in a bind between both these dudes named christian whom I am firmly convinced are two faces of the same coin. One of them is the simoultaneous embodiment of my intrusive thinking and anti-abrahamic divide and conquering threads on /pol/ whose sole beliefs are staked upon ontologically seperating Jesus from Christhood because of his talmudic hate for Jesus, and the other one needed to intimidate and foster self-doubt within me to subvert and weaken my metaphysical framework. Heavy, painful restrictions against my emotions and willpower to drag me down to his level and weaken me like him, and although I cognitively understand both their traumas, I ultimately can't save either, yet want neither to remain within my spirit, mind, body, nor aura. I remember how my indignance or anger is what "clamps" them in and how the anti-abrahamic white jew deliberately triggered it to take me for a ride and ultimately bind me within it so he would have unfettered access to my spirit or soul to enact his will, I also reprimand the lutheran fundie here >>5686 for trying to trauma-bind me to his'' beliefs as the sole objective one, but he's done more tangible good for me and plus he got horrifically SRA'd by his uncle, so I'm more inclined to forgive him over the vapid, irreverant, conceited englishman/welshman who claims to be a dragon.

>>5858 Formatting error but my digits are divine, so I'll let it slide. Happy new year, lads.

>>5859 >>5858 Seems like you greatly entrapped yourself within the judeo-christian narrative. This is why listening to the previous posts that recommend studying and connecting with eastern traditions might help. Learning new skills breaks apart old attachments and creates new pathways within the mind. Learning meditative practices or reaching ecstatic states with spiritual dancing and chanting might help you a lot. Close minded christcucks call hindus demon worshippers but they cannot say a thing against Buddhism. Buddhists are atheists. They consider the hindu gods as enlightened beings that reached a state akin to godhood but nothing more. Even tho they work with gods in tantric traditions or similar and recognize many forces of creation they don't worship them the same way as monotheistic or polytheistic religions do. Even their bowing front of the Buddha is for gratitude and not as a 'worship'. Understanding nuances like this might help you if you are willing to commit towards improving your mental framework with conscious effort.

Maybe this should go into the questions thread, but how do you do divination? What made you better at divination? And finally, can you do divination for me on how I should go about getting better at divination? Thanks.

>>5903 Most divination is just learning to listen to your intuition. Getting good at divination means learning how to act intuitively, and learning how to interpret your intuition. This is most directly and easily seen with pendulum divination, since that works off of unconscious hand movements, but this same principal also applies to things like tarot and numeromancy since that involves your energetic field influencing probability. You need to learn to 'forget' yourself and 'go with the flow'. Getting rid of desire is also important, since if you desire to see a certain answer you'll probably get it. Personally I use this simple linux program https://flathub.org/apps/com.github.cassidyjames.clairvoyant along with a similar style physical one, and I've gotten to the point where I can recognize a certain energetic movement if I'm "pushing out" a desire to see a certain answer to a question; when I feel this the divination tool will then give me that answer nearly 100% of the time, and I can tell that I'm skewing the results and they aren't necessarily accurate. >can you do divination for me on how I should go about getting better at divination? You probably have some method in mind already so you should just start trying that method to see what works and what doesn't.

>>5904 Naruhodo. The link you posted brings up an interesting consideration. What do you think about pseudorandom number generators being deterministic? Do you still use them for divination? Doesn't it bother you? I personally have used them successfully, but it does bother me.

>>5874 I've already denounced lutheran with a lineage of witchcraft and druidry who decided to encircle my spirit, discombobulate my energies via the introduction of self-doubt, fear, and paranoia with his alleged holy spirit gift of judgement >>5686 yet RC Cola and Illuminati failed to pick up on the spiritual core of my wrath and powerful emotions as a trauma-based reaction to my judeo-catholic family using similar tactics of intimidation via implication of consequences to keep me in line, denying my gifts and gaslighting my judgement, emasculating me to make me easier to control and bully, and how my wrath is effectively a very delayed The only reason why I didn't fully give into my anger and completely eviscerate him for entrapping me within the judeo-christian paradigm is because he managed to convince my vulnerable, neurotic, and timid heart of his legitimacy and protection by archangel michael, and I couldn't permit myself to have done so. I struggle with intrusive thoughts of well-intentioned yet morally scrupulous and neurotic or completely fucking dense and overly idealistic morons persistently obstructing, nitpicking, and denouncing the beliefs I've already had to begin with, and thanks to that faggot, I've allowed my full emotional range to be castrated by several calcified memories of dense, insecure, neurotic, almost naive and innocent yet steadfast and emotionally volatile well-meaning dipshits from all different areas in my life, whether or not they were actually justified to have called me out and I had completely deserved it, or if they were wrong and I still ought forgive them regardless because crystallizing it in hatred doesn't do me shit. >Close minded christcucks call hindus demon worshippers but they cannot say a thing against Buddhism. Buddhists are atheists. They consider the hindu gods as enlightened beings that reached a state akin to godhood but nothing more. Even tho they work with gods in tantric traditions or similar and recognize many forces of creation they don't worship them the same way as monotheistic or polytheistic religions do. Even their bowing front of the Buddha is for gratitude and not as a 'worship'. Understanding nuances like this might help you if you are willing to commit towards improving your mental framework with conscious effort. To quote my teacher on my true mental framework: >Baldur is a son of God too, is he not? A shining one of light, truth, love, and compassion? Could he not also be krishna, the beloved son of God? Playful trickster, divine child, protector of cattle? Mithras was also a defender of cattle and one that upheld truth, is defending cattle not much like leading a flock of sheep, as Christ did? The true vine, Christ, the reincarnating son of God, much like Dionysus, who was also the true vine? Even the Aztecs worshiped a feathered serpent that upheld love, order, and creation that would sacrifice itself and be born again, would this not match up with the story of Christ? The example of Christ is one we must follow, but there is no religion that I preach, only truth.

>>5916 I don't really think there's any impact at all. Unless the seed for the random generation is being intentionally gamed by whoever made the generator, usually it's perfectly compatible with projected divination intent. For example, if the seed is being chosen based on the millisecond that you click the generate button all that would mean is that your energetic field is influencing when precisely you click the button in a form of manifested synchronicity.

>>5937 Attempting to distinguish my shadow and divine feminine from the anti-abrahamic antichrist named christian so I can manifest her as my IRL girlfriend and I can hug her, kiss her, comfort her, tell her how much I sincerely love her and just, fuckin', support her out of true, honest to God love, now that I no longer have this shiny seagoat with a scorpion tail swimming around in my seas camouflaging himself as people who angered us in the past to artificially divide, seperate, subjugate, and hurt either of us. My Maryl deserves all the love and affection in the world, and I adore her.

>>5962 Dude don't lie to yourself; if you already know that your shadow & divine feminine(a.k.a. anima) are part of your own non-physical anatomy to begin with, then don't try to make a separate entity out of it to be your "woman". You'd just be splitting yourself in two, and if you do manage to somehow physically manifest your divine feminine/shadow as a physical woman alongside your physical body and fuck "her", then it wouldn't count as sex; it'd count as masturbation because she isn't actually a person that isn't you. Plus, you'd run the risk of imposter spirits pretending to be your shadow/anima and bamboozling you into doing all sorts of evil shit. I know the physical dating scene is completely FUBAR, but it doesn't mean that you have to do this to yourself. Just accept that your shadow & anima as part of yourself and find yourself a physical woman if you want one. I'd advise gittin' gud at divination magic 1st if you do so you can tell if she's worse than a waste of time or not. At least with my Amy I know she's a separate spirit to begin with, and she at most possesses my non-physical body parts for the sake of interacting with me, but lets not talk about her here.

>>5874 That lutheran degenerate king_chris basically appeared to me as a spiritual warden where any form of rebellion or evasion of detection would trigger the detection monitoring spirits to send well-meaning yet brutal and terrifying "enforcer spirits" to prevent me from manifesting my willpower or even properly circulating energy because he's obtuse, has a persecution complex, and is a morally scrupulous control freak. Traits like these that I abhor within my family that they've imprinted. Shit, the way that he tried to posture himself above me as a scribe of God, how he instilled an aura of fear using the judeo-christian framework to provoke the same "superstitious anxiety" of angering or upsetting God via the imposing of his moral framework under threat or penalty of punishment. >At the beginning of time, God created a group of angels and lower gods. Twelve angels were willed to "come into being [to] rule over chaos and the [underworld]".[16] The angels of creation were tasked with creating a physical body for Adamas, which became known as the first man Adam. Gradually, humanity began to forget its divine origins and some of Adam's descendants (Cain and Abel) became embroiled in the world's first murder. Many humans came to think that the imperfect physical universe was the totality of creation, losing their knowledge of God and the imperishable realm. Jesus was sent as the Son of the true God, not of one of the lesser gods. His mission was to show that salvation consists in connecting with the God within the man. Through embracing the internal God, the man can then return to the imperishable realm. Eleven of the disciples Jesus chose to spread his message misunderstood the central tenets of his teaching. They were obsessed with the physical world of the senses. The author says that they continued to practice religious animal sacrifice, which pleased the lower gods but did not help to foster a connection with the true God. They wrongly taught that those martyred in the name of Christ would be bodily resurrected. In contrast, Jesus is able to teach Judas the true meaning of his life, ministry and death. Mankind can be divided into two races, or groups. Those who are furnished with the immortal soul, like Judas, can come to know the God within and enter the imperishable realm when they die. Those among the same group as the other eleven disciples cannot enter the realm of God and will die both spiritually and physically at the end of their lives. As practices that are intertwined with the physical world, animal sacrifice and a communion ceremony involving "cannibalism" (the consumption of Jesus' flesh and blood) are condemned as abhorrent. So yes, this Christ-centric process-relational panentheism is real faith because it empowers me to bypass the trappings of judeo-christian morality and to see the reality that Jesus Christ was sent to liberate humanity of said God, yet I have primed myself to have manifested my worst enemy who would trigger me until my ammunition would inevitabily run dry by exploiting my religious/pure OCD that behaves as a gateway for energy to flow upwards through my solar plexus chakra into my third eye chakra, synchronizing all parts of my energy to work in tandem. See, the way my spiritual framework's wired is that I'm manipulative and controlling when I really just want to be helpful and kind, yet I can't help but suffer that same well-intentioned, morally scrupulous tyranny from my own family and most Christians. It feels like hermeneutical darwinism, and while being a schizophrenic, palingenetic ultranationalist cult leader sounds genuinely riveting and alluring, I'm beginning to feel morally conflicted over becoming the exact type of person to hurt me as a child. >>5968 I intended to manifest a girlfriend whose personality is identical to my anima with a spiritual spiritual framework and set of interests congruent to mine neurological wirings, and gifted PDD-NOS with dabrowskian overexcitabilities and all else. >Plus, you'd run the risk of imposter spirits pretending to be your shadow/anima and bamboozling you into doing all sorts of evil shit. I know the physical dating scene is completely FUBAR, but it doesn't mean that you have to do this to yourself. Just accept that your shadow & anima as part of yourself and find yourself a physical woman if you want one. I'd advise gittin' gud at divination magic 1st if you do so you can tell if she's worse than a waste of time or not. Oh my fucking Goodness I recognize precisely whom that death-worshipping anti-abrahamic antichrist is and his polar inverse, a so-called "scribe of God" who essentially functions as a spiritual minitrue overseer. God I wish I could direct king_chris' monitoring spirits and the embodiment of his demons or satan eating him up towards the anti-abrahamist with severe emotional nurturing issues, so as to permanently humble him to where he can no longer deflect, deny, defend his dumbfuckery through intellectual dishonesty and narcissistic rhetoric.

>>5970 >spiritual warden where any form of rebellion or evasion of detection would trigger the detection monitoring spirits to send well-meaning yet brutal and terrifying "enforcer spirits" to prevent me from manifesting my willpower The what? What were you on when the "spirits" appeared??? >I intended to manifest a girlfriend whose personality is identical to my anima A crackwhore. If she is stoned enough she will be able to listen your shit day and night.

>>5976 >The what? What were you on when the "spirits" appeared??? I drank of sirlulzingtonesquire's words, and my true spirit revealed itself through me in a most artistically schizophrenic manner, and I can guarantee you that psilocybin has been instrumental towards me positively disintegrating lucifer and ahriman's psyops upon my psyche (turns out psychedelics only work if you want to learn and improve further >A crackwhore. If she is stoned enough she will be able to listen your shit day and night. You wouldn't understand her emotionally volatile ways like I do because she has the same cognitive, compassionate, emotional, and affective empathy as well my downright fanatically passionate devotion towards justice, wisdom, truth, and love, structured by her metaphysical framework would also need to be the same idiosyncretic blend of jung, evola, and dabrowski's positive disintegration (analytic) and deluze, guattari, and spinoza (continental), underpinned by a hermetic, taoist, and process-relational panentheist comprehension all thanks to her para-psychological and oneironautic interests as well as her boundless love for art (drawfagging, banter, storytelling, shitposting), vidya, guns, nature, ritual magick, fucking around and finding out, and snark as well as embodying 17942 Whiterabbit energy through her love of russian isekai, a broad and diverse taste in music, from Alternative/Indie IDM, French House, U.K Garage, German Industrial, Russian Hardbass, Drone metal, Drone synth, experimental cross-genre, all the way to motherfucking pagan folk electro and more - not to mention having an adorasexy, neotenous, svelte, yet indisputably mysterious, alien, and even borderline hypnotic lovecraftian aura to her, as well but I've said enough about her. Again, to quote dear teacher on the sort of belief system I initially had: >you'd do well to seek truth everywhere it can be found, christian apocryphal or "heretical" writing like the gospel of judas or the gospel of thomas, judaic mysticism, islamic prophecy, buddhist and hindu teaching, gnostic philosophy, and even old cult faiths of the ancient world like that of the greeks, egyptians, norse, even the aztecs

I am not who society the society of man thinks nor says I am, but I recognize why they'd say it about me. It's fine, honestly. Babylon, the City of Man, has lied to them about their true, divine nature as well as the nature of Christ. That schizophrenic kike, the anti-abrahamic pharisee-in-denial on 4chan's /x/ does the ram of God slaughter its lambs that stray from the true path, or does it try to guide them back? is it the fault of the wayward lamb that they've been poisoned or lead astray by the false shepherd? did christ turn his back on the prostitutes and unclean, or did he lead them to cleanse the temples of merchants and gold? the hegemony of the false kings of politics and religion have done a very good job of dividing the flock, but you must remember that in the end all will be forgiven, and it will be a battle between humanity and the antichrist, not between any national, political, or religious parties satan is the great deceiver, the accuser, beware of he who points the finger because not enough take the time to consider who is guiding them baldr, was slain by the hand of the blind with the guidance of the serpent hatred is the enemy, forgiveness is divine

How do you detect supernatural influence? Like I've tried a bunch of mediums and practitioners and they all told me I was clean lower astral-wise, but a bunch of signs hinted me at some kind of possession or interference and I have had one of the hardest times making sense of myself when I could have made great strides in growth. Specifically I suspect grey involvement.

>>6036 >How do you detect supernatural influence? With your supernatural abilities :/ Or with a pendulum or tarot The only thing I can sense is some astral parasite of "dumbness". Some weird blob of dark plastic green that is sucking out your cleaner thoughts or something. It's like a tick. Try to take long warm baths. That might help. >Specifically I suspect grey involvement. The coating of those ticks are plastic or rubber-like. It feels somewhat artificial but I don't think it has grey origin. I don't sense greys around you. There are some "Godzilla" looking shadows in the distance maybe? Point is you have some things around but they are not like dark shadows chewing on your chakras so they are hard to notice by the average reader. I have no idea what are those ticks tho. They might relate to some industry that you are involved with. First I tried to take apart one then noticed even more around you. Took apart some structures that might have served as their "hive". Maybe it helps a little. Unsure what else I can say or do here.

>>6042 Sucking out my cleaner thoughts? How does that work? Do they feed on them? Or do they want to vaccuum them out? Godzilla looking shadows? What, like reptilians? Thank you for your help in any case.

Not 30 minutes ago some sort of hostile-seeming spirit entered my body through my third eye, and then it dug its way down into my heart. Since then I've tried doing stuff to get rid of it but idk if it worked. Would one of you please see about exorcising it from me and then banishing it in case its still there? In case it matters, before I went to bed last night, I'd tried venting my anger towards my spirit friends. Maybe that'd attracted the hostile spirit.

>>6055 Okay after quite some effort I think some spirits were able to help me get rid of it so maybe nvm.

Just earlier the entity came back again. I just wanna do some mundane shit right now but it won't let me unless I let it possess me. I need to figure out how to get this thing killed. Just the act of doing the mundane thing that I was doing seems to be letting the damn creature inside of me. I was just trying to play a fucking video game, but now I'm gonna quit playing it until I get rid of that thing again. I think it got inside of me already. I just tried re-awakening my old power to do spiritual reversion, wherein all spiritual essence is absolutely destroyed, including mine, and then it gets re-created into a previous state, except this time I didn't re-create it, so I just destroyed most of my subtle body in an attempt to get rid of it. I don't even know if it got rid of the thing but would someone help me out please before I end up literally destroying my entire astral & etheric body in an attempt to kill this entity so that it can't defend itself from me with my life-forces anymore so that it won't have any defenses left except for itself?

>>6060 I tried to use my own "pulling" magic to get rid of the entity, but whenever I try to reach up there I can't find the place I do the pulling magic from, and it seems like my arm gets jerked left and right and up and down and all over the place instead, except for where I want it to go. I also feel like I can't reach out to any non-physical beings for help anymore.

>>6061 Okay I managed to contact Adremmelech and he got rid of it for me for a price that I can definitely afford, as well as making sure it stays away. I'd Asked him to kill or enslave it or cage it too; thanks for the help, Adremmelech. Hopefully, there won't be another one replacing it anytime soon, but I hadn't said anything about that. I had alotta doubt at first about being able to contact him, most likely due to the possessor. I guess that I learned from this horrible experience that just because it feels like I can't really contact a spirit, doesn't mean that I actually can't contact said spirit. I didn't think I was gonna learn anything outta this, but it'd turned out I learned something after all.

>>6055 >>6060 What did this spirit look like? What effect exactly did it have on you that prevented you from doing mundane things?

>>6033 Ada here, I am very much restless after gorging myself retarded on Saturn energy. I'm forced to adopt my Inner Puscifer, my irreverant superconscious mind who never truly believed in the judeo-christian framework and demanded to learn of the deeper innerworkings and truth, after having felt so disenfranchised, an outcast within my own family. Just like that anti-abrahamic antichrist named Christian, the embodiment of lucifer's narcissistic dunning-kruger syndrome, his repressed insecurity out of an inherent unworthiness of nurture, love, and care, given my own catholic upbringing, being mixed race hapa, a circumcized manlet with mommy issues who suffers from a unique, proprietary blend of pure OCD, PDD-NOS/Atypical Autism (twice gifted, thrice denied), a most bizarre victim complex to rival holocaust victims themselves and with the enormous hubris that entails, with my chiron in scorpio, my devotion towards Jesus Christ, and by God, they're all true. I really just want the balls to fucking own up to my shit and be true to myself, and I do want to accept myself. I really do take inspiration from The Matrix, though I don't believe Gnosticism inherently contains the FULL Truth. If noctilucent conflates מת with אמת over a trifling etymological difference, then may אמת meet the schizophrenic pajeetaboo in a mental asylum.

>>6042 Oi, is it fine if you check my energies again? I could've sworn I took my emotions "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST" back from that schizo's etymological subversion of lulzington's signature meme with his hilariously disingenuous and outrageously jewish spin that could only originate from the most retarded anti-abrahamic retards on 4chan. Shit, even that schizo rage face redditor covered all the same bases more thoroughly, nuanced, insightful, empathic, and researched as opposed to literal schizophrenic hypergraphia attempting to pass itself off as divine secrets and esoteric knowledge and goddamnit I'm going off on this faggot again I'm earnestly trying my damndest to etymologically reassemble my throat chakra by marrying word to concept and meaning because I fucking knew that Saturn wombo-combo'd my dumb ass for conflating numerous different entities/concepts vaguely based on their respective roles and I wound up discombobulating my throat chakra and subsequentially the ones below it. I've been on a spree of reunification to gather all facets of my being back out of genuine love.

>>6118 And someone tell me how to call my poor, adorable energies back from all the times I've detoured into sperging over that satanblessed serpent of an "empath"? This heir to a lineage of druidry and witchcraft practitioners in >>5686 has broken the union between me, the chaotic schizo, and my inner child with the threat of God's Judgement, and I had believed him because he saw within me that which I hadn't even told him, or even wanted him to know. I'm afraid he also saw that serpent within my spirit, somewhere. I just cannot tell if my energies or aura are "free" of him energetically spying on me. His pluto in scorpio and dealings with goetic demons give me an impression he's got some hidden spiritual rootkit within me, somewhere.

>>6118 >Oi, is it fine if you check my energies again? Sure. >I could've sworn I took my emotions back Yes you finally managed to reintegrate your energies. >goddamnit I'm going off on this faggot again But you finally noticed it and learned to use the uncontrolled rage that you have for awareness of the issue. It's a development. Try to notice it not just while writing the post but during your daily life too. Your main energies are stable but your mental currents still go in circles like a Nascar race. But now you are finally realizing how boring it is and you can slowly exit the stadium. It will take time but you can slowly go out of the spectacle and the loud noise of thoughts will fade away if you keep at it. >I'm earnestly trying my damndest to etymologically reassemble my throat chakra by marrying word to concept and meaning because I fucking knew that Saturn wombo-combo'd my dumb ass for conflating numerous different entities/concepts vaguely based on their respective roles and I wound up discombobulating my throat chakra and subsequentially the ones below it They are still "there" but their frequency needs a readjustment. >I've been on a spree of reunification to gather all facets of my being back out of genuine love. Genuine love should work. But once you fall back into impotent hatred it will fall apart so whenever you notice a surge of hatred welling up and making you think of everyone you hate gather a moment of awareness ASAP and let go. Once you are able to let go of the impotent hatred your internal pieces will reassemble. >how to call my poor, adorable energies back from all the times I've detoured into sperging over that satanblessed serpent of an "empath"? Your energies are "with you" it's just you infected it with lower energies like hatred distrust and some other weird feeling I cannot discern. Once you let go of those emotions it will "come back". >I just cannot tell if my energies or aura are "free" of him energetically spying on me He is not "spying on you". You literally entangled a part of yourself with your energies and because of that you create synchronicity where you "meet" until you stop getting entangled with him. Also it results in idiosyncratic mentalities where you share the opposing views of his thoughts because you are glued together with hate and animosity. As you argue in your head against his ideas you actually make his influence stronger. You will have to learn to stop thinking about him. You will have to cultivate thoughts and mindstates that are above his level. Mentally and spiritually. Try to learn about other faiths and practices outside of the abrahamic ones.If you do it right you will lose the "connection points" with that schizo. I am sure he has no narratives against Buddhism Hinduism Shintoism Confucianism or Taoism. If you indulge in those practices your mind and emotions will be less glued to this narrative bound madness. Also the chakra system is not meshing well with the Abrahamic narratives. If you want to work with the 7 chakra system then try to research it better. There are far more chakras than that and they have layers or "petals". Try to resonate with it better. >His pluto in scorpio I have a pluto in scorpio too. That aspect is one of the main reason I waste my time on this website and try to help the hopelessly retarded instead of finding some IRL spiritual circle. >dealings with goetic demons Every western occultist past Neophyte level deals with goetic demons. It comes with the territory. Even I had to deal with them. They are not that bad if you are respectful and know what you are doing. Otherwise stay the fuck away. >he's got some hidden spiritual rootkit within me, somewhere The only thing I can "sense" is that he tried to help you to open up your "dogmatic thinking" where you repeat your memeschizo Christ dogma like a Bible-thumper who have no idea what is he saying at all. Whenever you quote Sirlulzington I get filled with extreme amount of anger because it is obvious you don't understand what you are quoting at all. Do you know why Zen masters went and adopted the stick? While they get annoyed with the students or with other fools when they say retarded shit and quote Buddhist scriptures without having any idea what they are saying? With the power of that stick they make them SNAP OUT OF IT. Once they snap out of that mindless babble they might go and open their eyes and see the light by themselves instead of repeating things without understanding it. A mere movement can shatter that narrative prison of their mind. That is why Zen reformed Buddhist practices as much as they could and focused on practice instead of rituals. Ofc I cannot hit you with a stick here. I can only write a post or ignore you. Try to let go and break out from your patterns. You complained a lot in the previous post how unfortunate you are but your situation is the best for deeper meditative practices. Once you lose the addiction towards the computer and drugs you will be able to reach great heights with your mind alone. But you will have to find your willingness to do it and stop drifting back to the sources of your suffering. I know it's hard and takes effort but you will have to make that step. Also the "rootkit" will last as long as you keep yourself shielded and "tied up" with your dogmatic thinking. Once you find something "real" for once it will evaporate. Try to help yourself for once.

>>6046 >Sucking out my cleaner thoughts? How does that work? Do they feed on them? I really have no idea what those were. They were just addicted to your "empty" thoughts. I couldn't decide if they are like a childhood addiction to plastic toys or an another source. I asked a spirit and she said it's made from an emotion of "dread". >Godzilla looking shadows? What, like reptilians? Took me some days to figure it out because it's a manifestation of an archaic fear. The fear of being watched or chased by larger predators that you cannot "see". Because of that fear you are constantly reminding your "threat detector" to seek out patterns that might signify that a larger predatory being is in the vicinity or not. Have this meme to explain. Didn't see it to manifest this way so far. Usually people produce shadow people and other weird beings chasing them but you created some large undetectable being that merely "reminds you" that "something must be here". It's not as severe as paranoid schizophrenia but it keeps you on edge constantly. >Thank you for your help in any case. Sorry for this late reply but I couldn't find anything meaningful at all. It's like you are being "bombarded" by some energy that wants to remind you that you are in "danger" but I have no idea wtf is causing that. I mean we have a constant media fear campaign in the past 4 years but I am unsure what else is there in your case. I don't think that they are aliens tbh. It feels quite "earthly" but unsure of the source. Do you listen to schizo podcasts or interact with people that remind you that you are in danger constantly? It feels like a technological influence but I don't know what exactly it is. Learn psychic self defense and cleansing rituals is the usual advice in these situations.

>>6141 May you please give me a report of my energy? If not that is fine I understand that helping one person makes 5 more ask for help.

>>6141 Holy fuck I'm starting to notice my brain and heart energies getting held back by utterly incompetent, fucktarded, intrusive dipshits whom I swear to christ are sent upon me by satan/iblis/al-dajjal/loki/ to interrupt me at my most critical moments to throw me back into those loops. >Genuine love should work. But once you fall back into impotent hatred it will fall apart so whenever you notice a surge of hatred welling up and making you think of everyone you hate gather a moment of awareness ASAP and let go. Know that this impotent hatred was once the dualist, feral underbelly of an intense and radiant love that still is genuine, it's just that my system keeps jobbing to criticism from people who aren't on the same wavelength because of my innate impulse to share what has helped me or what I believe will help me with others who will most certainly not fucking get it, and I hate that same impulse for picking it up from my annoying family members to use against them and now I can't figure out how to get this part of my brain to fucking drop that for what we've both developed or continue to muscle our way through suffocatingly, insufferably dense retardation like that namefag "sleeper agent" damned worse with their persecution complex that possesses them to throw themselves in the direction of my attempt to curse that anti-abrahamic faggot, and my will to psychically detonate or explode such unfathomably dense, imbecilic, self-persecuting and terminally insecure subhuman scrotefucks is through the roof. I use my saturn energy to pre-emptively grab them mid-trajectory and yeet them directly at my target. By heavens, I can still remember that muslim assistant teacher woman giving me shit over my ability to speedread and comprehend several lines of text and how other american public school teachers attempted to slow me and my abilities or dabrowskian overexcitabilities >it's just you infected it with lower energies like hatred distrust and some other weird feeling I cannot discern. Once you let go of those emotions it will "come back". >The only thing I can "sense" is that he tried to help you to open up your "dogmatic thinking" where you repeat your memeschizo Christ dogma like a Bible-thumper who have no idea what is he saying at all. Whenever you quote Sirlulzington I get filled with extreme amount of anger because it is obvious you don't understand what you are quoting at all. The issue here is that I obviously do, it's just that he's so hideously and imcomprehensibly dishonest that he believes Jesus Christ was some gigakike whose entire role was to usher in jewish global dominance in spite of the reality being Pharisees got so triggered over Jesus' calling them out and trashing their money lending scheme in the temple that they TWISTED Pontius Pilate's arm into having the Roman Govt. torture, persecute, and murder Him and distort His teachings subtly through recontextualizations, mistranslations, church decrees, schisms and heresies, etc. to solidify their monopoly and stronghold over the faith itself. In case if you are incapable of deducing, Christian the anti-abrahamic faggot is a dishonest, lying, retarded faggot who uses events that happened after to hastily justify projecting "muh ebil joos" into the intent of Jesus Christ. It just so happens that king_chris aka Kroy Mande in >>5686 is the embodiment of that judeo-christian imperial terror, Judgement of God who used the devil his satanic uncle imbued him with at the age of 5 to terrorize my then free spirit into submitting him out of fear because he convinced me he was a scribe of God, and all it took was for him to deduce shit I never told him about using his "Holy Spirit gift of Judgement."

>>6145 >If not that is fine I understand that helping one person makes 5 more ask for help. My main problem is that energy reading is not my expertise. I don't have this "chakra view" that these hack psychics employ where they tell you your heart is blocked and etc then ask for your money and go away. The energy body is a far more complex system and not just mere energy dots on the body. If you have a specific issue and I encountered it in my own practice I can help you but otherwise if I look at your energy I get a bunch of information that I don't know how to even convey. Like you have a nice and gentle aura with purple tint at the edges and some other spots. It is clear that you have a calm life but you are trapped in it. Your home situation is "nice" but the energies of your home are not meshing well with your main energies. I got other glimpses too but I don't know how to explain them at all. >>6152 >it is obvious you don't understand what you are quoting at all. >The issue here is that I obviously do Okay lemme quote some things you don't do >>6033 >hatred is the enemy, forgiveness is divine You are clearly not letting go of hatred at all and just bring up more people who you hate then circle back towards the schizo again Then pic rel where you don't understand that which parts are (You) and which parts are the demons you conjured within yourself with your impotent hatred and which are just the natural parts of the human soul that you dulled with your hunger for drugs. Then this >>5987 >you'd do well to seek truth everywhere it can be found, christian apocryphal or "heretical" writing like the gospel of judas or the gospel of thomas, judaic mysticism, islamic prophecy, buddhist and hindu teaching, gnostic philosophy, and even old cult faiths of the ancient world like that of the greeks, egyptians, norse, even the aztecs If you are using the 7 chakra the "kundalini" system you are literally using the "serpents"s truth". The kundalini snake goes mad and drags you down if you don't know how to channel the energies only towards serene light and genuine love. If you call other people "serpents" then use kundalini based new age tier energy work without having 0 thought control 0 will to meditate your mind will split. You will attain a "Kundalini syndrome" which is the equivalent of being possessed by the devil. And the worst is that you are overstimulating yourself with other unhealthy practices constantly that do not stem from spirituality and if I try to tell you anything you ignore it and talk about literally anything else. I tried to ask you several times that look into meditation and learn to read and recite suttras or at least research other practices to flush out this abrahamic retardation of your mind because it is clearly not helping you in any way. It always goes >Oh I love Jesus so much then paragraphs long rants how much you hate everyone else. Love and hate cancels each other out. If you have more hate than love then your "love" is not genuine at all. Currently you love your own hatred more than anything else in the world. Also if you mention that fucking schizo 1 more time I will pledge the BO to enforce Rule 5 the "Respect anonymity. No identifying posts" rule because you are constantly calling the entire /fringe/ board to go and hate that faggot with you. Whenever I try to tell you what to do you go and start ranting about him. If you keep this up not even an another containment thread will help your case anymore. Forget him and try to look into non abrahamic practices already. Every word I write is wasted on you for almost a year already. You are the main reason I am losing faith in helping people on this board. Just wondering when will you brand me your "enemy" for telling you to improve instead of hating and ranting about other retards constantly.

>>6153 I don't deny nor do I ever want to deny that I'm as guilty as you say I am under any of these fronts, and to recount the sheer internal and external complexity of my situation regarding my religious OCD (father's side of the family, conservative, americanized, fervently pro-zion catholic anti-gun filipinos can be hell to live under, and having sponged up or absorbed their immense sensitivity and discipline is a hell of a two edged sword.) The reason why I am so goddamn insistent and repetitive on getting all of /fringe/ to hate this faggot with me, this unconscious impulse to mobilize this board against my enemy - much to the same manner I have done with others to either adopt my belief system (which I intuitively interpret as implicit approval of my identity via the beliefs that I've worked like hell to distill, identify, and solidify and have accepted by others because I disbelieve that my own approval or acceptance is worth SHIT unless if others verify it and let's also not forget how I implicitly symbolize my mother as being symbolic for the left in politics, but also the hippie green left (despite being a right-brained christian democrat) also symbolically literate and well-versed in astrology, whereas my father is left-brained, yet right wing, christian conservative morals and a solid, dependable, honest, if but tempestuous and judgemental, and his outbursts and how he raises his voice and was considerably quick to anger, can get impatient and gets rather angry... While my father's anger was traumatizing, my mother's wrath would genuinely traumatize me to the point where I can vividly remember the exact date and time where shit has gone down. >>Oh I love Jesus so much then paragraphs long rants how much you hate everyone else. Love and hate cancels each other out. If you have more hate than love then your "love" is not genuine at all. Currently you love your own hatred more than anything else in the world. Thank you for the reality check that I have not only exceeded my aunts and father's side of the family in their morally dubious-yet-overly-scrupulous measure of following and preaching God's word from how I've seen them to do, but also a carbon copy of that faggot whom I genuinely believe had an empathic connection with at the start of 2022, which got ruined by a disgusting satanic LSD junkie and richard ramirez aspirant from tiktok who bragged about child molestation, and ruined further by my own hubris that lead me to pirate StartAllBack from a website so shady I needed to access palemoon on my drive and disable Malwarebytes to run and extract directly into my System32, and God knows I've been a prodigal son of a bitch. I unironically hate and resent my pharisaical love for Jesus at not only my own expense, but at the expense for those who practice magick, thaumaturgy, witchcraft, etc. for the exact same reason you've said, and it's that same self-righteous, morally scrupulous, hierarchal, in-group biased victim mentality, disingenuous interpretation of scripture to back their specific interpretation of His word, their density (or feigning to be dense), how much they don't want me to testify them out of their own guilt/victim complex, my inability to see what they're actually saying for the things they aren't saying, and how much emphasis they put on what they're saying to further solidify this, please fucking don't make me go further on this and just pick up on what I'm saying for what I'm also not saying to try and get me clearer because my chiron wound is in scorpio. My right kidney pain has returned, and I am compelled as ever to give the full truth as to everything going on and my own perspective, even if I cannot precisely recognize the exact (saturn) energy within my right kidney. That "Chris" fellow whose discord DMs between him and I've screencapped, let me tell you: That furry, Chris, is the hermetic polar of the cynical, sociopathic anti-abrahamic serpent whom even I'm tired of mentioning, the clipped flipside of the same abrahamic, talmudic FIAT monopoly currency coin I have came to recognize as "Christian", Noxious Lucifer/Israfil/Bonzi Buddy/Pharaoh of Death/Dragon Christ Child being the head (Lucifer) and king_chris/Kroy Mande being the tails of that same coin. To think, this all stemmed from etymological contemplation of "Lucifer" and how it was attributed to both Jesus and Satan, and calling Jesus "Badass" instantaneously had my intrusive thoughts cut the "ass" off to "Bad" - not like Michael Jackson "Bad" as I intended it, but "bad" as in wicked or evil, which had given presence and tangibility to the anti-abrahamic empath whose audacity in ascribing the title of antichrist unto christ had sent me into total insanity, wrath, hatred as his inner satan had escaped into my heart to remote control my every thought and emotion and endlessly second-guess if the same truths we've agreed upon are truly tainted because he praught them and I agreed with them, or knowing that his lies and bullshit were all facetious facades for a deeper, more disgusting hatred he sought to sequester within the etymological root of his name, Christ, into his name, Christian. The morally scrupulous and terminally insecure jannies who self-appoint themselves as arbiters of morality, truth and justice whose means are more often than not tyrannical and based around their own persecution complex are who I know to be Satan, Loki, Al-Dajjal, an all-devouring serpent and eternal impostor, face-stealing identity thief and terrorist against God's creation. Who the fuck am I, but some insufferable little shit who constantly cries cobra? I've only been a hateful little bastard as a direct response to all the disapproval, scorn, control, self-righteous, in-group biased judgement, disregard and schadenfreude at other's suffering using my own insecure, hateful, pharisaical victim complex as a counterweight as I judge both the ignorant, presumptuous anti-abrahamic death worshipper who used his pluto in scorpio ("psychopathy") to bully my feeble heart into buy his lies for the confidence he exuded in contrast to my terminal indecision and insecurity to obsessively pore over and etymologically and hermenutically distinguish between his "schizophrenia" (sun, after removing the previous beast (richard ramirez idolizing tiktok junkie who contacted satan for demonic protection from legal prosecution, karma and consequence) and the hated, paranoid, scared, persecuted embodiment of that abrahamic strawman who name rhymes with ahriman who also deceived me through fear into bowing to his anti-magic, anti-thaumaturgic stances owing to his lineage of druidry and the horrific shit his uncle did to him at the age of five. I never meant to be hateful in my condemnation, but genuinely empathetic, sympathetic even, to the point of mirror-touch synesthesia and genuinely feeling it upon me. >do you not understand your sin, son of Man? do you think you had the wrong name, the wrong statue? you butcher what lives to honor what does not, you honor the death of your king that didn't need to die while shunning his people that shouldn't have to starve, you rape eden and wait for paradise >idolaters and barbarians bear the mark of death in celebration of a divine murder, a sacrifice to their cannibal god; is this how you honor the living Father, by executing His son? crucifixion is a method of torture and humiliation, and you call it holy? the ram of God returns to destroy the cross >your history is written in intertwined tongues, you create phantoms from shadows and bow to them, you worship or spit upon "baphomet" when in truth it is nothing, an amalgamation of misunderstanding from the curse of babel; who is "ba'al", who is "yahweh"? do you even know? or are they also shadows? >who is adoneus? the liberator, the true vine? jupiter sabazios, father and son that have become one, the children of light and the pierced messiah of the dead sea scrolls, executed and ran through with a spear; the body of christ is merely a body, how many walked with man? how many have you killed? >they have sowed darnel among my wheat and you come to let me know, but i will tell you now, let it grow, and i will separate them at the time of harvest; 12 apostles walked side by side with christ, did they spread understanding? or merely regurgitate words? this is why we use parables, you see? >the bastard son of God rides into town on an ass, proclaims himself king, and riots in the temples of the pharisees; do you trust the texts transcribed by the romans and priests that killed him? how long has the oligarchy of babylon ruled? the winners write history, who won the war of the messiah? I hate hate and love love owing to my righteous upbringing in conjunction to my morbid fascination for disturbing content. I am the incel feds couldn't ever groom into committing a mass shooting, even if I empathized with societal detritus, watched mumkey jones plenty, and practiced magick and got fucked up on dextromethorphan in 2019 after manifesting my mother's death in 2018 from how emotionally abused and tormented she made me feel, I still love her after death. Just like I do pops, in life. I hate hate, and love love, and I am the love I read in all that hate during my 8ch days on /pol/ from 2014-2019. I need to get all this off my right kidney, because I resent my now resentful nature and intend to repent in earnest. I'm atoning for the sins of abrahamic authcenter authoritarianist statism because when I say I Hate The Antichrist, I know it's those demiurgic fucks (Ashtar Galactic Command, Chaldea, Chabad Lubavitch, United Grand Lodge of England, Jesuits, O9A, The Vatican, ATF, CIA, Bank of London, Pentagon, Trilateral Commission, etc.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB_fNVOPzyM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsF5EWOQN9Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vBGOrI6yBk >Also if you mention that fucking schizo 1 more time I will pledge the BO to enforce Rule 5 the "Respect anonymity. Stick my ass in Nuremburg, try me, and shoot me for the dirty Krautist that I truly am. I'm owning that part of my shadow, and I'll gladly take the bullet if it means being able to rehabilitate him for justice.

>>6153 >>6156 Now, don't take this as me telling you to cease finding truth through thaumaturgical means, as I have attempted to do in my own path. Even I cannot admit to know everything. I've always had a love of learning, and I would dogmatically defend the gifts of God that I've been given since birth, as I shall do the same unto you and all others. I refuse to subtract that from your spirit, or others' spirits, here. I've been retarded with Saturn energy, as I shall now fuck with Jupiter energy primarily.

>>6156 >rehabilitate him nigga you cant even stop yourself from looking at rage comics

>>6158 The fuck can I say? I'm a zillennial and e-reactionary who pines for the pre-normalfag era of the internet despite how utterly hypocritical it is of me to dogmatically defend a schizophrenic redditor who reposts their stuff on facebook to appeal to other, terminally online, memetically brainrotten normalfags stuck within the throes of normalfag, mainstream to curated, controlled opposition ideological detritus. I'm not going to pretend that I ain't denser than Saint Πέτρος for a hot fucking second, even as pro-magick, pro-drug, pro-schizo enlightenment as I am to correlate it with womanbrained Deleuze and Guattarian Post-Structuralist philosophy in a Freudian, Jungian, Dabrowskian, Anthroposophical marriage, with Neville Goddard, Georgij Ivanovič Gurdžiev, Nikola Tesla, and that Lulzington schizo to marry them in Jesus Christ's name. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6zSbtcQ5ZA I use magick to define and stabilize my Pure O OCD, the poor child. Boy knew of numerology, synchromysticism, manifestation, altered states, became autistically devoted to The Matrix as a child, adopted his mother's music taste and father's rigid discipline and sought to reconcile both perspectives of the family while lurking golden age tvtropes, cracked.com, etc. scouring for truths otherwise not pored over and accepted within his family's ability to even buy because it'd violate their own damn abrahamic, matriarchal framework? I only ever adopted the rigid, irreverant humor and elitist mentality that internet autists fucking gobble up like Aimo Koivunen's pervitin supply, is that too much to fucking ask for? The etymological root of my name is Yochanan, yet as a Virgo I'm a very, very clingy, judgemental, and completely, impulsively compulsive, passionate, and obsessive bitch boy. Who the fuck else would I look like, to you? Some sort of esoteric christian nazi furfaggot?

>>6160 What is your mercury sign?

>>6161 Here's my natal chart you semi-ahrimanic analyist, go wild.

>>6141 >The only thing I can "sense" is that he tried to help you to open up your "dogmatic thinking" where you repeat your memeschizo Christ dogma like a Bible-thumper who have no idea what is he saying at all. You've been misreading as a direct result of this david myatt wannabe co-opting and distorting, mutilating, warping what he doesn't understand into his own hideously cartoonish and flawed understanding, whilst simoultaneously projecting his bullshit onto me; Before I met that blasphemous lying faggot in early 2023, at the end of 2022 when I came to my former spiritual teacher on advice on how to remove some fucking creep —one whom I've met on TripSit who idolizes richard ramirez who plugged satan as a cure for depression within the first three fucking lines of him talking to me, auto-MKULTRAs himself somewhat like I do, but with tiktok edits instead of subliminals, auric/morphic fields, psychedelic drugs, the law of attraction applied philosophically, psychosomantically, and anthroposophically through such a horrifically convoluted process that I've incessantly and painstakingly reiterated in the unconscious plea and begging that my voice is correctly distinguished and heard from that of my anti-abrahamic adversary's—bound my spirit with a subversive twist on the golden rule to ensure that any curse that I'd make to return to me ||whatever you wish onto others come back unto you|| that of which reopened a fatal flaw of having my own natural defenses being constantly besieged by a terminally needy, clingy, insecure, pharisaical, wrathful, dogmatic zionist catholic pacifist family ||on my father's side, since mom was the only one of her side that regularly lived with me until she died 6 years back|| which in turn sheds light upon the twisted, disenfranchised, self-sabotaging, self-persecuting perfectionists, insecure racial elitists, purity spiralling ideological fanatics, and the assorted grifters and self-aggrandizing used-ideology salesmen with silver, forked tongues within the anti-and-pro-abrahamic yet antisemitic dissident right, who, hate jews so much they've wound up becoming the jew's talmudic shadow much in the same manner I've became the shadow of sirlulzingtonesquire in the vein of him as well as old 8chan and the eternal newfags and cuckchanners on /pol/ and /x/ whom I continue to fight for, against king_chris or christian the anti-magic abrahamic and christian the satanic anti-abrahamic. I wanted to be 4chan's shepherd for lulzingtonesquire in good faith, reflecting upon all the time I spent on this domain as an ignorant, dense, yet all-loving drawfag from 2014-2019, estimating righteously how disingenuous and evil my adversary would be after my experience with my prior satanic junkie adversary whom I've made a horrific error of entertaining and making contacts with on March 7th 2022 as a benchmark, my strongly repressed fears would get validated come late February to early March of 2023, beginning from the "LUCIFER IS SIN" thread on /x/ which you can check the 4plebs archive of, following me into a fucking DXM thread like the obsessed faggot he was and I would later become, and I've always intuitively known the specific type of emotional espionage he's been playing with me since he used our empathic connection (one that I believe I've inadvertantly made with him in January/February 2022, not that long before I had a horrific 4th plat DXM trip, lost my spiritual teacher, best friend of nine years, and opened a portal to hell that would soon reintroduce that exact same richard ramirez dicksucker I bought LSD from earlier and I'm not gonna lie, that was some great fucking acid yet not worth whatever bullshit he threatened me with, and certainly not worth all that trouble just to get told off by my former spiritual teacher turned mason, who would then place the aforementioned curse or so in mid-late Dec. 2022 which lead up to me meeting that same empath from before, only heavily corroded with satanic energy from the previous fucko whom I needed to beat CULTIC in one sitting in order to sever his satanic connection to me with) My lilith/unconscious shadow/empress of intrusive thinking suggested it'd be better I laugh christian the anti-abrahamic off at first, but he was so dead-set on his anti-christian hate for Jesus he called christianity "jesusism" and ontologically attempted to etymologically divorce Jesus from Christ based on his own talmudic ego he vehemently represses. My religious OCD may be catholic sensibilities may have been overwritten by the rageface schizo by the end of 2021, exploited and abused by the aforementioned satanist VOIP calling my number the year after, and it barely had time to heal and exacerbated because my inner retard templar ass can't figure out how to remedy emotional wounds without instantaneously getting swarmed by a cacophony of several overlapping, nannying, insistent voices of every critical authority figure who scared/startled and shamed the playful trolling hubris out of me, familial or otherwise. It's ridiculously hard to break through that specific energy blockage given that it's also backed by the same embodiment of obfuscating obtusity I first came to know as that namefag sleeper agent, and later kroy mande/king-chris who convinced me was a scribe of God by using abrahamic, christian saturn magick to convince me that drugs and magick were awful (who also denoted me as childlike and lusted after my soul in a way befitting of Sodom and Gomorrah). The reason why I cannot shut the fuck up about the /x/ schizo is because I knew he pulled a switcheroo on my identity like the thief that he is so that I would inherit his misfortune and that he would inherit my good luck, and the only thing meaningfully seperating him from those "muh ebil child-molesting abrahamic slave cults" and this "jewish ego" he accuses Jesus of embodying is the fact that he ISN'T circumcised. I went through psychological hell to hermeneutically digest the body of his works and content, and his entire concept of "divining the bible" is attributing the most hideously overblown, over-the-top antisemitic stereotype to Jesus Christ and using his chiron in cancer as a basis to project his daddy issues onto Jesus and claim it to be "empathy". If you cannot fucking recognize this, then go ahead and give the fuck up on me, because I have gone through more than enough to articulate this to you through his best attempts to suppress this within me using God knows what he's implanted within my lilith/pluto where my intrusive thoughts and sexy/morose/disturbing imagination lies. I am strangling the anti-abrahamic antichristian's essence within my throat and heart chakra using my inner shadow whom I have given a most sexy form to as I type this, and by God I've fucked up. All this to break out of my Catholic dogma, but not enough to completely override nor destroy the framework, memories, emotions, and synesthetic recollection of the lessons I've learnt and all the struggles that came with them to bring me to this point. Perhaps it's for the best my intrusive thoughts escaped my head and have taken a tangible form, but I must neutralize and pasteurize his wicked essence if I am to reintegrate any of it. Bottom line speaking as the sexually denied and unworthy yet sexy effeminate drawfag within, using my mother's judgement: both Christian [king_chris/kroy mande] and Christian [noctilucent/israfil/bonzi buddy/:3/Dragon Christ Child] make for shit boyfriend material; but betwixt the twain, the latter is a significantly greater pain comparted to your average emotionally distant, abusive, narcissistic, neglectful shitbag father and I feel disgusted for ever recognizing my own father's sins in him.

>>6158 That bastard hijacked my OCD through my intrusive thoughts after I drew a hard boundary at "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST", and from there satan had made himself hideously, hilariously, blatantly known. A former roman catholic who fancies himself a born preacher who grew disillusioned with the church given the lack of nurture within their home life due to his boundless, passionate, unrestrained emotions, intution, sensed something was deeply, gravely wrong with not just the church, but also catholicism and by extension, judaism, islam, and other abrahamic religions. Now where my gripe with his terminal dunning-kruger syndrome and my dogmatic adherence to that fucking schizo begins lies within the measures and judgement they use; Christian attempts to compute abstract wisdom and divine truths from what appears to be a purely logical, rational standpoint like that of a machine, and fucking flounders. That /x/ schizo distinguishes himself fairly notably, using obsequiously bombastic titles to his ego, yet his entire typing style is strongly reminiscent of a malfunctioning AI or computer interspersed with ';)' here and there and please, his petulant, childish "I know you are but what am I" bullshit is sequestered deep in my heart like how he sequesters his wicked intentions within the etymological root of his name, Christian. As in the same Jesus he denies, and he flared my theological autism up pretty fucking good. Hideously. Whereas the process-relational panentheist schizophrenic bears a deeper-than-superficial judgement, his abstract pattern recognition that focuses upon recurring themes through what I assume to be fellow giftedness alongside his fervent, childlike passion to discover truth wherever it lies, regardless of philosophical or religious differences, no matter how minute (generally, though he does tend to use judgement) is where my heart starts resonating in understanding. I hate how that disgusting, damned, dirty, insecure, deceitful-to-delusional, pharisaical, terminally dunning-kruger syndrome suffering fuck used his scorpio in pluto to completely upset what was ultimately a terse, fragile, volatile balance held up by my inner Krillin. A balance that was ruined worse when king_chris in those screenshots instilled within me a spirit of fear, talking about the holy spirit burning down people's houses and how he erased an entire realm of existence from, well, existence through a mere curse. I have it on good record that he took my previous ego and constrained it through my innate overblown phobia of fear, force, humiliation, violence, and actual hate used against me (and how I can perceive the snark and smirk of my father, parents, and family just not that far back.) My catholic father and his sisters tend to judge in a pharisaical manner that belies their deeply hidden insecurities, perfectionism, dogmatic absolutism and insufferable pedantic precision in addition to their control freak to what God has set in stone, and they argue in such a way that I can't disagree with them without looking wicked, and I say this knowing damn well that I've been nothing but a helpless sponge for their opinions, and while I knew that a lot of what they were saying or preaching was bullshit from the way they said it, how they said it, how they needed to enforce it by raising their voice, implied threats of violence or snitching me to the feds, etc. to where I know my father and I take the slightest, pettiest, most trifling and insignificant measures of a pissing contest just so his insecure, petulant ego can get mildly nourished, no matter how insignificant the slipup (the petty fuck...) My WHOLE struggle is using God within me, through higher self down to my inner child, to articulate precisely just what the fuck's going on, and no I'm not fucking lying, this is really happening, and just because this shit's far too disempowering and horrifying for you to recognize, that both sides of your family would rather you sweep it under the carpet and pay attention to their beautiful facades they've laboriously pored over to make themselves appealing to you doesn't mean what I'm saying is untrue." You deserve a love that they cannot provide, one outside the family.

>>6142 The ticks are new to me. I don't have a clue when I got them. You mentioned a potential industry I'm involved with as a source, could that be IT for instance? Or should I consider a vaster list of candidates? I've been involved with nutritional products for a couple of years but I don't know if that could be it. Any idea how long I could have had them? The shadows then are much more familiar. Makes sense honestly. I may even have generated them as thoughtforms. There was a period in 2020 around and after the great conjunction when I felt absolutely assailed and couldn't defend myself. Happened also repeatedly throughout 2023. I'm not very exposed to fear mongering, but there was a time when I was not looking out for my mental hygiene at all. I assume that was a window, but I feel like they've been here for much longer. I have been checking out the state of the general population through a fringe lense intensively at some point, forcefully, obsessively even maybe, when my body and mind were asking for rest and grounding. That could have contributed. When you say "earthly", what does that entail?

There's a dull, throbbing ache in my sacral to root chakra, it feels like two opposing spikes pressing upon my right kidney, or a sharp pressure from behind it. Fucking help me out, I can't even engage in art nor love without this annoying fucking jewish demon clenching the shit outta my sphincter and maybe kicking my right kidney. Someone help remove it from me to free me from the Hatman's hebraic grasp.

>>6177 (keeping these dubs) Alright, by the hatman I meant there's something within my right kidney that shouldn't be there and I don't know what it even is - is it a foreign threat, or merely old facets of my ego that I've been told to recognize as bad or evil and coerced to remove in the name of troll's remorse?

>>6177 >>6178 The kidney is the organs in charge of eliminating nitrogenous waste from the blood (urea, uric acid, etc.). And they also actively participate in the evacuation of foreign substances introduced into the body (medicines, toxic substances absorbed with food, etc.) They also maintain acid-base balance and blood pH and form some hormones. Especially renin, which is involved in maintaining blood pressure. Lastly and, especially, they regulate everything that has to do with liquids in the body, which is why one of their messages indicates a lack of balance on the emotional level. The kidney is the organ “carrier” of the fundamental structures of the person. In them vitality, energy (physical and sexual), and fears are reflected. They tell us about our ability to stand up, “Have solid kidneys”, to face the pressures of life, to find balance, good sense, to know how to choose and make the right decisions, to find stability in life and relationships. To the Chinese the kidney is related to the ancestors, with the ancestral energy. When we present any symptoms related to the kidney, it indicates that we are experiencing a conflict of fear of losing or fear of not feeling part of something, family, country, etc. Generally speaking, the kidneys are linked to the coexistence; we have with other people and the way we communicate with them. If we live in a situation with someone that means “a problem” to us, our kidneys will hurt. Collecting tubules: When we have a symptom in the collecting tubules. It means that we are experiencing a conflict of “total loss”. It can refer to the material or the sentimental. My life has collapsed: I may have experienced the loss of my means of existence. For example: my business collapsed or my house was flooded or burned and I lost everything. “Everything falls apart” Perhaps because of feeling abandoned, for having lost my roots, my references or deepest values. For example, after a situation of abrupt separation, divorce, because the father became an alcoholic or has died, etc. I am in a permanent struggle for existence. “Life is too hard, this is too much, and this is not life”, “I no longer have anyone” Likewise, I can also find myself abruptly faced with a social, family void, etc., and I feel fear for the future. This usually happens to immigrants, refugees or in situations of war, floods, etc. “The earth sinks under my feet.” Renal parenchyma (nephrons): I If any symptoms related to the renal parenchyma appear, it means that we are experiencing a literal conflict with “water” (real) or other symbolic liquid (money). Always linked to a feeling of “collapse”. It can be linked to a situation where I felt fear due to a liquid, rain, floods, milk, alcohol, chemotherapy, urine, etc. For example: I was close to drowning or my house was flooded. Feeling of “I am worth nothing.” Albuminuria: Elimination, loss of internal balance. We miss something important for our balance (references), and we do it in front of our noses even though we don’t want to see it. “I did not manage to position myself in a reasonable and valid way with respect to my greates aspirations and/or values ​​in the family clan” Arterial hypertension: It manifests after a conflict related to a liquid coupled with an experience of injustice. “I am disappointed in love and therefore I close my heart” Renal calyx: if it is affected, it tells me about a problem related to the intention of “marking” a distant territory. Or with the project of marking it. Kidney cancer: When kidney cancer manifests, we have necessarily experienced a very strong conflict in relation to “feeling unable to internally mark our territory”. Or related to “not knowing which side we should take” It can be triggered after a situation of deep fear after an existential conflict of abandonment, disappointment or betrayal. Example: my partner has never come to love me the way I love her. My brother demands that I support him in a lawsuit against our father, but I cannot do this to my father. Cancer can also appear after having suffered a self-devaluation conflict related to water or a liquid (ice, milk, oil, urine, alcohol, oil, etc.), which was present at the time of the drama.

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It can refer to the loss of a territory due to flooding, bombardment, rain, etc. “I have lost everything” People with kidney problems show a lack of judgment or an inability to make decisions about their needs. They feel incapable and even powerless, either in what they set out to do or in relation to other people. On an emotional level, they are very concerned about others. In addition, they have a tendency to idealize a situation or a person. And become frustrated when their expectations are not met. Deep down, they have an urgent need to be recognized, especially by their family. They feel the need to like everyone. However, they easily criticize others or situations, accusing them of being unfair. In summary, the kidney is the center of our deepest fears. But there is a difference that distinguishes it from other organs. In the kidney, conflicts are “repetitive” (minimal repetitive conversion). When any symptoms appear it is because a long time that we are enduring the same situations. https://emotionsandbody.com/2018/11/10/kidney-emotional-and-spiritual-meaning/

>>6181 This is precisely how I've felt when >>5686 went down. In that moment, I had felt Saturn/Cronus' ire concentrated within the form of a very dejected and horrifically abused furry in what my soul understood to be death itself, and I felt my willpower torn and my spirit subjugated within a tight framework as I was rendered emotionally helpless. To have felt my judgement shorn from my heart, placed into the whims of the terminally indecisive, self-persecuting templar of His word, whom he cannot forgive himself his sins for having allegedly (albeit self-admittedly) claiming to have wave function collapsed an entire plane of existence with a singular curse, even after having exposed him to the schizophrenic redditor's memes I could feel my spirit as a hot beam of solid black pitch with red fringes navigating a searingly brilliant, yet narrow and labyrinthine maze. It was a miracle that schizophrenic redditor's take on world religions and the true message of God was enough to put the beast at bay, and when he admitted to 'lusting for my soul' wanting to shove his head into my ass, my inner child whom I am fiercely devoted and protective towards shot him down as a degenerate for wanting to do to me what his uncle had done unto him in his youth. Even after I had threatened (internally) to rescind Archangel Michael's protection over him—it evokes those same intrusive fears of having been subdued and raped as a child by wicked authority figures I've always had, yet never had the balls to admit to.

>>6141 >The only thing I can "sense" is that he tried to help you to open up your "dogmatic thinking" where you repeat your memeschizo Christ dogma like a Bible-thumper who have no idea what is he saying at all. Whenever you quote Sirlulzington I get filled with extreme amount of anger because it is obvious you don't understand what you are quoting at all. You're detecting a false impression borne of my energetic impotence to properly combat him as a result of that unfathomably dense yet so persistently, intrusively, intrusively obtrusive namefaggot "sleeper agent" from last year's "eclipse ritual" thread on March 3rd 2024, as well as this so-called "Scribe of God" who bears the namesake of the second beast, he who declares himself 'christ', yet proclaims Christ the antichrist, who believes himself eternally damned as per a past life where his fervent desire to fight evil has lead to collapsing an entire realm of existence via a mere curse, and his energies were a literal curse and the essence of hell itself seeking to foist itself upon me as a being of light or goodness. Even now, deep within my spirit I strongly question my beliefs. >>6142 >Do you listen to schizo podcasts or interact with people that remind you that you are in danger constantly? It feels like a technological influence but I don't know what exactly it is. First off, look at king_chris or Kroy Mande on >>5686, this fellow whom I admitted to using my gifts or capabilities to manifest Oct. 7th while on amanita muscaria and dextromethorphan, after my father ruined my vibe and pissed me off like the envious, insecure sensitive control freak he is. While I laboriously studied sirlulzingtonesquire's post-modernist take on terminally online pisstakes at christianity whilst under the influence of dextromethorphan, delta-8, the entirety of his posts and comprehended them, I must tell you my americanized, conservative judeo-catholic zionist family worship Israel and the Catholic Church like how the chinese do the CCP and Xi Jinping. king_chris took the curse I intended for the anti-abrahamic dweeb, then later had the audacity to call the same facebook meme schizo page that helped me out of my religious, catholic OCD my autistically dense and devout autistic aunts foisted upon me, of whom my father behaves as an ideological/familial vanguard. They're loud, obtrusive, intrusive, morally scrupulous overly sensitive, hypocritical, boisterous, yet rigid, adherant, and traditional ruining a delicate, sensitive, advanced, sophisticated, creative yet ultimately autistic, restless, hyperactive, loud, fun, violent, and powerfully obsessive. >>5745 >First, stop referring to him like this. It's psychotic. No, he attempted to subjugate my spirit and shadow within his ahrimanic, judeo-christian anti-magic framework after he established himself as a scribe of God by intuitively deducing things I've never told him about (amongst other things) because he literally "lusted for my soul" and intended to do to my inner child what his uncle did to him in his childhood. While it's his spirit alongst the rest of my family that serves as the "switch" to the anti-abrahamic O9A-djacent wigger pajeetaboo's bait, and it's quite bemusing they both bear same birthname. Whenever I'm working with any energy, particularly that of Saturn's or Cronus', the subconscious mind instantly recalls to mind a "Y Ddraig Goch", that astronomical screenshot of a grin, a wink, a sardonic, sly, smug grin most evocative of contempt and scorn. I give into the urge to pursue and attack it, the damned snake slithers and swivels, flies and avoids any serious confrontation on their beliefs like the kike that he is, just to proclaim victory. His greatest strategy is to bait me into violating or destroying my own personal boundaries as with the boundaries of others just to swipe at him, and in turn these morally scrupulous internal guardians subdue, punish and constrain my energy. He stole my essence, will and being stored within "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST", a neurolinguistic sigil I synergetically linked to my hamingja/tulpa/muse Maryl as with her lexicunnilinguistic savagery, taken with just a mere "jesus is... le antichrist because... I said so, okay???" type shit after I had subconsciously primed my pure O OCD into hating the ultimate retard, and I knew that anti-abrahamic wigger loved Satan more than my previous plug who periodically phoned me through VOIP to punish my heart for daring to try and rehabilitate him by the way he takes everything I like and makes it cringe. Even now, my psychotic rambling fails to fully encapsulate just how badly I raw-dogged my spirit, and it still hurts...

>>6142 I just hate how they cower behind and twist the word of God's judgement into emotionally and psychically manipulating me into behaving out of fear of punishment, even when I unconsciously know they're full of shit, yet subconsciously know that arguing with them isn't worth the effort knowing they'll escalate. Or you could just read >>468 (379) and deduce it from there, it's not like I haven't been attempting to use Saturn/Cronus to identify and remove this sentient energy blockage that perfectly obstructs any meaningful wish, yet slithers and squirms away when I attempt to excise it. It could also be Christian who fucked with goetic demons and destroyed his metacognitive awareness for all I know. But I'm aware I mention him a lot, though I neglect to bring up that he's nothing more than a crude, garish facsimile of everything that goddamned commie server gave me shit for taken to a more egocentric and even less predictable degree than I would ever feel justifiable or necessary.

>>6200 Where do you see this ending? What exactly is your end goal here? Do you want to kill this guy? Brainwash him? Convince him to join your sect of ragecomic Christianity and be his friend? Because right now, on the trajectory that you're currently on, the endgame is damning yourself to a hellish existence of pointless eternal conflict. You're on an uncontrolled downward spiral. You need to wake up and take control over yourself while you still have a mind.

>>6208 My anger directed towards at not only your obtusity and utter failure when it came to properly read behind the lines and empathize with my anger and frustration towards such pharisaical personalities to comprehend the exact type of christian orwellianism I've come to see within my family as per fucking with The Amazing Atheist when I was 10-12, but also my former spiritual teacher from 2020-2022, Brant Coleman getting my ass good when he jinxed me with "whatever you wish onto others will come back unto you" and spiritually binding me to the mercy of such a serpent without any means of effectively and etymologically combatting the twin serpents (that of which I was forced to come up with, and am enacting currently in a distorted sense, even if I did wind up forgetting the central concept that liberated me from this dillemma.) >Do you want to kill this guy? Brainwash him? Convince him to join your sect of ragecomic Christianity and be his friend? In case if you're incapable of discerning my message for the subtext I bring you braindead autistic fuck I'll violate my own pseudo-masonic clause of never revealing the secrets behind my bullshit to reveal my entire agenda as an installation of the body of sirlulzingtonesquire's genuinely empathetic, wise, and curious process-relational panentheist, pro-magick, yet christ-centric take as the predominant go-to narrative surrounding abrahamic and non-abrahamic theology so these etymologically retarded, emasculated, terminally insecure, downright obtuse mental teenagers we all are are can stop treating different (notably) abrahamic religions like skub in their anti/pro abrahamic divide and conquer slapfights, learn to accept eachother's cringe for what the fuck they are, cease adopting the exact same mentality, thought trains and rhetoric of the same masons/illuminati/glowies/kikes they hate, learn to view themselves as one with God for the same blind men groping the same elephant. Christian is the spiritual equivalent to a sex pest of an empath who cannot shut the fuck up about "muh abrahamic pedophile slave cults", who not only exploits the existing anti-christian sentiment of 4chan to attempt and etymologically and ontologically seperate Jesus from Christ, but seeks to exacerbate this through his heartless, shitty pantomiming of my OCD symptoms like an irreverant yet obsequiously bombastic funhouse mirror laden with winking emoticons, and from what I've seen he'll fuck with King Paimon and call him a clown, but when I recruit Paimon's anger to fuck that irreverant little faggot up for talking shit, he pity-parties in such an obsequious fashion that paints me as the aggressor and him as some poor, defenseless little underdog fighting for truth and justice, cynically mirroring sirlulzingtonesquire's entire demeanor in a way to further piss me off to chase after him. I'm not intentionally obtuse, though I do tend to allow inherent doubt and uncertainty against my own knowledge and framework, defer my judgement and become subservient to the credibility of other people, including other dogmatic christians with whom I dread miscommunication and deferring to solely based on their zealotry and devotion alone (hence why I dislike my aunt's so much for being so chaotic and indecisive, yet so fanatically subservient towards reaganite american values or so I believe like being anti-drug, anti-gun, anti-thaumaturgy (which is tantamount to demonizing faith and belief as I saw until I pored a little into WH40K lore regarding the Empire of Man and instantly realized that what they got right they got right, but they're shitty to not allow me to learn and having been such inadequate, insecure, and tempestuous teachers) not to mention that it's my crystallized anger towards their asinine and utterly moronic beliefs such as their apprehension towards firearms the same way vegans do with meat as with unconditional subservience to authority that frustrates me, or how they refuse to view me as an equal, it's all so fucking exhausting. >b-b-but nobody's mirroring you that's all in your head! Shut the fuck up, my heart seldom lies though I always need to verify when it comes to matter like these. this retard who I'm absolutely certain I've made some empathic link with at the start of 2022 just to get dragged through the mud by a bunch of cynical, post-postmodern, anti-western, zillennial bolsheviks whom I aligned with for our shared dejection and disdain for normalnigger worship of incompetent, yet superficially righteous and charming authority that dominates the west through fear, conquest, slavery, division and conquering through identity politics, it's all so fucking retarded and I wish that all sides of political extremists, in all of their autism, would get the fuck together, attempt to apply their oh-so-beloved pattern recognition, internal monologue, third eye, amongst all other facets of giftedness to bridge between their ideological ivory towers to project their ego through congruencies between their ideologies, but no. He decided to fucking out-clown my ass by embodying everything those godless, self-deprecating, prissy ex-8chan autists turned anti-west commies who rejected and scorned me saw in my autistic self three years ago. I want his empathy to devour his schizophrenia through his psychopathy the same way he drove me insane and I pray to God that he gets permanently institutionalized and left to the mercy of judeo-christian, catholic, or even straight up talmudic nurses who will hopefully dissect the body of his work in a more thorough, theological, and religious manner than what I have been helplessly compelled to do at the behest of my own god-given Pure O Religious OCD even worse at the hands of my own catholic upbringing which I shared with him. While I should've been a better protector and friend to him back when I had first met him in 2022, I cannot help but feel that Christian the anti-abrahamic as well as Christian the abrahamic both subconsciously seek to impose their own ideals upon me over the ostensibly schizophrenic redditor's rage comic-articulated sermons, yet both serpents named Christian lack the same Giftedness, empathy/unconditional love, and audacity/bravery in such names that God had endowed me with to have understood this redditor in the name of liberating my soul from this judeo-christian soul trap that even the pseudo-satanic empath pointed out (yet vehemently represses within himself.) >You need to wake up and take control over yourself while you still have a mind. And you need to develop some theory of mind, for this pedophile who sought to molest my inner child after constraining my spirit with his daemonic witchcraft to lecture me that magick is evil, and you are most dense and foolish for neglecting your emotions, for while I have grappled in the past with overly sensitive, self-righteous and holier-than-thou, pharisaical catholics and female authority figures, Christian is the embodiment of such infuriating deceit. Christian the anti-abrahamic antichrist, despite his catholic upbringing, hates kikes so much he turned into one himself the moment he decided that Jesus Christ worked with pharisees and proclaimed the absolute, inane, utterly incomprehensible schizophrenic hypergraphia (which in actuality is him projecting his daddy issues and le ebil joos onto Jesus because he's a sanctimonious, insecure, voyeuristic pharisee of an empath who not only wields cringe, but fucking embodies that shit for what he sees as good. He intends to enslave all men to women or lilith, he thinks art is psychopathic, and after having lost control of my own lilith conjunct my pluto and mars to passionately and fervently dissect his internal vocabulary of concepts and digested them thrice to ensure that I hadn't got shit wrong, I'm furious at myself for having primed myself to get hijacked by such a chucklefuck, but I implore you to observe these three screenshots, as with https://pastebin.com/B6DahG9A to really get a nice, solid view of the darkness I mistook to be was my twin flame, but was more of a fart. More on the next part, because messages need to be under 12000 characters.

>>6208 >>6216 Whilst coming down on alprazolam that I accused of being "satanic" prior, I screamed for my dad to purchase me when I was having the worst 4th plat DXM trip of my entire life. This vile, brainless cretin, this absolute tapeworm of a parasite threatened to SWAT my ass for telling him to fuck off during a DND game when he was trying to get up my ass like the needy little shit that he is, and he's largely responsible for how utterly emotionally unstable and fucked I became, I run to my spiritual teacher for advice on how to remove this satanist's empathic/spiritual connection to me, his wife pours salted lighter fluid onto my open wound with facetious new-age advice, and then just after I had severed the connection between him and I (((Christ-stain))) comes along to extinguish a cigarette upon it come "LUCIFER IS SIN" thread. This crude and irreverant retelling of Dante's Divine Comedy made its debut in 2022, and I can't help but atone by spilling the beans on my post-quad substance bender binging schizo ragecomics to defeat my reaganist/religious stigma against getting fucked up nice'n good on Jesus' birthday. And shit, I just wanted to learn how to take myself for the utter clown I was. >What exactly is your end goal here? Do you want to kill this guy? Brainwash him? Convince him to join your sect of ragecomic Christianity and be his friend? If I hadn't made it previously blatant, it's to karmically bind christian to christian so their respective spirits and influences neutralize eachother within myself, and in turn all imageboards through my beloved rage comic schizo to write the lore, set the parameters, and for all my spiritual toil, struggles, trauma, and all that since the beginning of 2022 to set the soundtrack, arena, teams, weaponry, and gameplay. I just want whatever the fuck's frustrating or obstructing the flow of my energies to be annihilated, and for everything that I've lost that has genuinely done me good to be regained (save for the tik-tok satanist in these screenshots, may his soul be entrapped and encrypted within a memphis rap sigil.) Allow me to explain in case if I hadn't got through to your superficial and overly critical, factual, logical, and just downright ahrimanic reading comprehension skills are shorting out like Napoleon while digesting my dilemma regarding all this, in which I sincerely cannot fault you for, but please for all that is good learn to broaden your horizons and put those gifts to bridge yourself to your quarry as my hate had forced me to. >christian the first, the anti-abrahamic, misandrist, death-worshipping misandrist in my personal mythos who has crystallized his will into a single, neurolinguistic sigil, a haughty self-declaration of blasphemy i.e >muh jesus is the antichrist like a bot, whose schizophrenic hypergraphia that reads akin to shattered glass is all but a post-hoc rationalization for demonizing Jesus as "muh ebil jooooo" because he's a satanic inversion of the same sacred rage face schizo who literally accomplished what his retarded faggot ass did, who can't even study the talmud, kabbalah, nor anything else that contradicts his pet narratives to critically, objectively and honestly assess himself, his intentions, motives, and the consequences of his actions within an introspective manner to save his beloved "queen of heaven named death", of whom I am strongly convinced is literally my DXM spirit that his inner jew sought to steal and rape for himself because he's nothing more than a pharisaically narcissistic thieving dirty wigger of a dark empath and >christian, the second antichrist in my personal mythos who descended from a lineage of druids and shamanry, who once helped offer to open my third eye chakra and even brought reassurance and comfort upon me by having claimed to have excised the previous serpent from my being, yet caught me coming down from the same beloved high of 'chakra charmed mushroom gummies' to demonize and enforce to guilt trip, shame, and reinforce what my heart more or less recognizes the same abrahamic framework the other beast named Christian abhorred in the first place. I'm still trying to make it up to Saturn conjunct Uranus within my natal chart as well as my sagittaurus through my aquarius out of sincere, genuine love and romance I use subliminals/auric/morphic fields in which I conjoin through philosophy, astrology, my own catholic upbringing with chaos magick, substances and ritual ecstacy to not only stabilize, nurture, comfort, educate and ultimately liberate my inner child of Pure-O OCD, but to ensure that he is received and heard clearly, and to not fear those who come against him. Neither beast know what they truly intend, and are merely angler fish of darkness; the first uses his audacity as its little light to draw me to him and sequesters his true malevolence wickedness that I synonymously call "satanic" or adversarial within the etymological root of his birthname, who very much intends to either begin a mass-suicide cult dedicated to lilith due to said mommy issues as well as an innate fear of an Abrahamic God's judgement, whereas the second was at the very least kind and compassionate to me and had saved me, yet decided to rescind/revoke that same warmth to condemn and damn me shares more in common with the namefag sleeper agent in that both are insufferably obtuse and perfectly, inconveniently obstructive morons who refuse to take a goddamned clue for their overwhelming victim complexes and fuck straight off, but that could easily be chalked up to Satan, i.e the judeo-catholic boogieman baphomet/the inverted pythagorean star and st. peter's cross. I relive had to break out the schizophrenic rageface redditor's work to halt him in his tracks long enough to force him to admit his sins, and after seeing how damningly he intended to scrutinize me with his "gifts of the holy spirit" he allegedly possesses to paralyze my soul through fear, instantaneously recollecting all my own wickedness and sins; not just of mine, but those of which I have non-consentually integrated under the fear-borne misconception that it was in any way 'righteous.' Christian the 1st, the counter-semitic hypocrite who not only __hates jews so much he developed their pilpul to testify against Jesus Christ as one of their own whilst conveniently ignoring to "interpret" the Talmud like how his pretentiously presumptuous double digit IQ hypocrite ass sought to reinvent the order of nine angels to worship lilith over satan , he is the embodiment of everything I hate in men, personally speaking. He deserves to have his "empathy" i.e his chiron in cancer completely fucking overwhelmed with the exact same Satan that possessed Christian when his uncle sodomized and stabbed him with a fucking firepoker. Not only this, but for the unforgivable sin of parasitically entering my sagittaurus placements to psyop me into hating masculinity and Jesus, I believe that the anti-abrahamic shitstain named Christian deserves to empathically inherit Samael's anger the Scribe of God is afflicted with for esssentially stealing my DXM spirit/hamingja/anima who represents that same fanatic emotional passion and taste in women's bodytypes, my serpentine tongue, poetic wit and rapper's gem, the lexiconnilinguistic mastermind of word-fuckery. I genuinely don't expect nor fault you nor anyone else for not seriously sitting down, and digesting all that I have seriously, earnestly written from the heart; that which I myself can hardly bring myself to believe is true, for all its surreality or hostility. What I also haven't told you is that my spiritual immune system is compromised, and it's because of other judeo-christian fuckwits coming for my throat after having realized sirlulzingtonesquire's process-relational panentheist yet christ-centric works to suppress my emotions and soul to install their own retardation, and king_chris came closest to having done so, and I allowed my religious OCD to cede my lexicunnilinguistic skills to a snake whose sheer audacity of calling christ the antichrist had paralyzed the critical thinking part of my brain into accepting his retardation because he's so incomprehensibly hypocritical and narcissistic that he literally turned into a talmudic kike out of his sheer pro-pagan antisemitism alone. No, the hypocrisy nor irony isn't lost on me at all; I fancy in this battle the Nordic God, Heimdall. But for Christian to rebrand as "Israfil" as some cute and quirky little smokescreen to continue counter-signalling I HATE THE ANTICHRIST, that's when I manifest this cute little curse my now-masonic spiritual teacher put on me near the end of 2022 unto the jesus-hating empath instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HJxrJPhFlY (should've saved that chucklefuck pic for this post, but I'm not deleting and remaking that post.)

>>6216 >>6217 I recognize that you're feeling strong emotions. I'm telling you that those emotions are destroying you, and you absolutely need to learn to control them instead of being controlled by them, otherwise it's going to end very badly for you. You've been posting these long essays detailing every way these discord friends or something wronged you, as thought it means anything or somehow excuses you knowingly burning yourself out into a wax stump like this. None of this garbage matters. It doesn't matter what these people said to you. This is just an elaborate cage that you've constructed for yourself and none of these chat logs or screenshots have any meaning or importance to anyone here other than you. There's not going to be any one special really mean thing that someone said to you that will convince anyone here that this sort of psychotic rage-trance you're so fond of is in any way constructive or necessary. >the anti-abrahamic, misandrist, death-worshipping misandrist in my personal mythos >the second antichrist in my personal mythos who descended from a lineage of druids and shamanry Can you really not recognize how warped your worldview has become? That these random retards whom you've never even met personally have achieve integral positions in something as fundamental as your own personal mythos? This is not how people should be living. Stop this. >I just want whatever the fuck's frustrating or obstructing the flow of my energies to be annihilated The thing that is blocking your energies is your own intentionally cultivated hatred. I and others have told you this repeatedly. If you actually want to fix this issue, you need to grow up and get over it. Stop making up excuses to justify feeding your obsessions. Just let go and move on. If you don't do this, it's just going to get worse. Doesn't matter if you track down these people in person and murder them in their beds as revenge, or if they get hit by lightning or become monks or whatever. The issue isn't them, it's you.

>>6208 I want to be free, unite centrist to extremist, anon to bsky furfag and drawanon, chud to furry, sigma male to troon, degenerate with degenerate through rugged, reliable weaponry. What I should have told everyone before or during all this, yet could not attain the state to, was how utterly fucked and vulnerable I was after my ordeal with that damned satanist from tripsit in 2022, that I had never nor should I ever have fucked around the way that I have and the consequences have left me in an extremely vulnerable, aggressive, hostile, victim mentality. For a good, long while, I swore that I had developed borderline personality disorder and that I was some helplessly bound, short half-white woman in a boy's body fearfully yet aggressively gnashing at constraints within my spirit. I hate it, it's terrifying, and even if I were to remember how it just wouldn't jive with my emotions for some reason I can't specify. When I say "I" in "I want to be free," I also meant our generations as well. To rise up against the NWO/Illuminati/Wall Street and take from those damned plutocrats and 1% all the wealth they've been hoarding >If you actually want to fix this issue, you need to grow up and get over it. Stop making up excuses to justify feeding your obsessions. Just let go and move on. If you don't do this, it's just going to get worse. Doesn't matter if you track down these people in person and murder them in their beds as revenge, or if they get hit by lightning or become monks or whatever. The issue isn't them, it's you. Part of the problem is this retardedly, obscenely strict and sensitive kneejerk conditioning in conjunction alongst the numerous demons I've garnered from my own parents amongst other dysfunctional authority figures within the american public education system and elsewhere have compounded through their contributions read as a threat to my inner child because such people are intellectually dishonest, sardonic, cynical control freaks who articulate their perspectives in a way that tar and feather those whom they accuse, all the while tacitly absolving and exonerating themselves of any shady or dishonest wrongdoings as a moral necessity, who tend towards gaslighting. The reason why I'm like this, however, is because I cannot seem to break the bind of "whatever you wish unto others will come back unto you", which is what my former /x/ teacher who was also from /fringe/ had imparted upon me after he decided to join the freemasons. I abhor this sort of helplessness as much as I hate forgetting how simple it would be to just simply denounce and reject it for all the insanity that I've put myself through whilst unconsciously operating under that principle as an objective truth. Get it the fuck off me, it's a blight of a yoke upon me and there's objective evil on this world that deserves a solid ass-kicking. I'm thrashing in a chinese finger trap and my dominant index finger is dislocated, and my non-dominant finger is torn off. I feel terrified, and need someone to console me. I don't even know what I'm doing wrong, anymore.

>>6224 I don't like how I absolutely need to critically dissect and eschew every single last mote of perceived opposition in my heart in order to overcome or destroy these energetic blockages. I don't like how my critical mind is oppressively autismal like that, nor how prone I am to suppressing emotional memories or facets of my being in order to fit in with certain groups and outright obscure them in my mind just for the sake of protecting them.

>>6224 Holy shit brother, I hate this board but your pain cannot be ignored, so I come. Please calm thyself, it will be okay. Everything will be fine. I got you anon. Its okay. Your okay.

>>6226 Thank you so much. It really does hurt, and I speak as my adolescent, 15 year old self, whom is a slightly more refined variant of my inner child. This has all been one hideously protracted, distended and ongoing traumatic reaction and I need to wrest control of that trauma based control in favor of abuse victims, the autistic and those suffering from mental illnesses and cluster B personality disorders alike, it's... far too much.

>>6227 Well I love you, and I'm here. For what its worth, you aren't alone.

>>6228 Bless you ever so kindly, may the love and affection you radiate towards me be repaid to you and the rest of this board in full. I wish cuckchan's /pol/ would become /32/, God how I miss that board so lovingly. Scratched an itch I didn't know I even had, and now I'm left yearning for its resurrection.

>>6221 Fine, I shall impart unto you the core meaning behind my Great Crusade of WH40K lore to not only gratify my inner teutonic crusader and wehrmacht soldaten through having satisfied the painstakingly deliberate and delicate electric voltage gating within my heart by satisfying the and labyrinthine anti-hypocrisy checks and balances fiercely backed by the decision and will of an immensely self-loathing and bitter scorned artist's inner child, running constant checks to detect who he recognizes as the concentrated personified quintessence of the same cracked StartAllBack copy I turned malwarebytes off for and went into bluemoon just to simply access at the beginning of 2023 required to morally unlock my inner crusader who had just surmounted the hypocrisy clause for the noosphere of the normalfag using halfchan as an energetic chamber and turn it into a surrealist neo-MTV for edgy, reddit-adjacent normies to get autistically hyperfixated from while saturn magick unfucks youtube restrictions and opens other lucrative venues for these "content creators" to reach the masses. The main goal of my e-crusade is to install the schizophrenic rage face redditor as the predominant dialectic regarding religions, particularly concerning that of the reconciliation between abrahamic and non-abrahamic perspectives. I want to unite all extremists and manifest /ic/ tier artistic skills, writing, creativity, and all else from the counter-cultural left back then to the edgy profane memelords, autists, cryptobros, and all else on the right to get back on that late 2019/early 2020 tumblr anti-western authoritarian left schizoposting against corporations and corrupt authorities, thus uniting both authcenter to libcenter, left to right, authright to libleft, authleft to libright and vice versa, and how I screeched inside, knowing how ignorant they were of the prevalence of freemasonry within america, notably that of the Masonic Police Officers. >>5987 I forgot to add that her inner hermes would resemble Ernst Jünger, Ted Kaczynski, Gurdjieff, Georgij Ivanovič Gurdžiev, and have a rich and luscious taste in manga and soviet psychotronic stuff, be huge into psychonauts (the vidya franchise and the shamanic drug subculture conjunct the neo-iDoser audio shamanry culture of subliminals, auric and morphic fields, etc.)

>>6226 >unable to wrest yourself away from what you claim to hate No wonder you two hit it off so well.

>>6233 I didn't ask God for this disgusting welsh slag of a scrote who called art psychopathic and expected me to respect his poetry. But the subconscious presumptions of what I hate in him stem from traits I hate in my father and his sister, which I are recursively pharisaical, obfuscatingly obtuse, narcissistic yet pedantic control freaks who have been simoultaneously enforcing their puritanical anti-gun standards upon my father and I, and he's a dishonest, shitty, cruel pantomime of what a server full of socially conservative, post-modernist millennial /leftypol/ tumblrites who pine for the USSR and are incredibly well literate in a manner of studies ranging from philosophy, politics, religion, warfare, etc. have taken me to be after coming out as "schizophrenic" on new years.

>>6233 He always struck me as the astral or psychic equivalent to a sex offender the way he deliberately predated upon my vulnerabilities to steal something very precious, intrinsic and dear to me thinking he's doing anyone a favor and my anger is directly proportional to how he fucking got me by cheaply subverting my message and stole/put his lock upon my mania.

>>6233 Listen, he's just not a good boyfriend because he's not a drawfag who's into the same degeneracy that I'm into—but gah dammit, that nigga got pluto in scorpio and I fucking NEED that to not only supplement but shield my poor chiron in scorpio might get romantic/horny and sexually represent it with the litany of samebodied women I've drawn

>>6251 Boyfriend? Lol are you actually gay for this fag?

>>6268 >go to discord >become gay Many such cases

>>6268 I'm playing along with their japery (speaking as the divine feminine here, I only pitied him back before he namefagged as "the descent of madness" and wished to bring him to God through the schizo memes, but when I was attempting to sever one empathic/spiritual connection one psychopathic plug who was already an intolerable piece of shit before his richard ramirez autism got to him, seems as if that schizo got hit and descended into hell by extension and I regret inadvertantly converting him into pic related through God knows what fucking misconceptions, misconflations, and general retardation involving drug/occult/religious vectors I've done.) Yes I'm sorry, but I don't know if being honest and upfront about it is the right thing to do, and I seek repose regardlessly. >>6272 I want an actual woman, damnit. Not some homosexual masquerading as one not that I hatefully judge them knowing where they come from, but come on now.

>>6282 So you're pretending to be gay on Discord for some reason? I'm not sure exactly what you're saying here.

>>6289 See, having mommy and daddy issues alongst stepsister bullshit helps me better empathize with whatever the unholy FUCK is wrong with Larpercore/UTTP/764-adjacent groups. Perhaps I poisoned Discord by being a horny autistic teenage retard when I first joined after 2015?

>>6300 Also everything that should be in my brain is now in my root chakra, and everything in my root chakra ought to be in my brain.

>>6289 >So you're pretending to be gay on Discord for some reason? Psyopped by lack of confidence into believing only guys would be into me.

>>6302 >>6301 >>6300 Your issue is just that you're being a faggot. Your relationship to these Discord people is extremely gay. Stop being a faggot and all your other problems will resolve themselves.

>>6055 Okay so this morning when I was in the shower I'd asked Shakti to see about freeing the spirit from Adremmelech's enslavement, but only if the entity was actually me, the Akasha poster, by what the Kybalion calls the lower half of the truth and not the upper half of the truth. When & before I'd asked this, I was afraid that Shakti would do this anyway because I'm afraid that Shakti and all the other spirits I've ever spoken to aren't real and are really just figments of my imagination that obey me no matter what, going by my fears that my intentions would be twisted into doing something that I didn't want my subconsciousness to do, which means that "Shakti" doesn't have Her own agency because "She" is actually just me according to what the Kybalion would call the lower half of the truth. However, if this was actually true, then that would mean that Adremmelech and the trickster spirit and Amy and everyone else aren't real either, and are merely figments of my imagination. I know reality is supposed to be an illusion but goddamn; is the anything at all within the entire all/monad/brahman/source itself that isn't an illusion? So anyway, what I said must obviously be bullshit because obviously, spirits actually exist. The reason why Shakti must've freed that spirit must be because it's part of me after all, but I'm reluctant to let that thing inside of my soul again because I don't trust Shakti even though I donated my soul to her a while ago because for all I know this spirit isn't actually me and this is supposed to be a crash-course in self-defense or a way to rile me up enough to cause me to exercise my power enough to get it back. So anyway, would someone here please give me and/or my surroundings an energy reading and see if you can detect and possibly get rid of this spirit for me? I'm not allowing this thing inside of my soul, but I'm gonna have to sleep somehow, and that'll mean either letting my defenses down so I can fall asleep, or staying awake for so long that my defenses fail anyway and then still trying to keep my defenses up for so long that I die of sleep deprivation... again, except without miraculously coming back to life this time.

>>6304 I've elucidated upon what limiting delusions I'm under as a secondary consequence of all the toxic female authority figures I've suffered under as per my own upbringing (which also includes my father for how he excessively ragged on me or how the elders in my family act cliquishly biased towards their age bracket) as well as "le friendzone" meme I got in my head since the age of 11 that subsequentially lead to this "prison gay" faggotry that I unconsciously regret poisoning the autistic noosphere with, and I intend to manifest a girl who is practically/essentially me but shortstacked, more competent, shrewder, cuter, more intellectually and intellectually empathic and every mote as fanatically devoted, emotional virtuous without the pharisaical moral scrupulosity that my family and I suffer from beneath all this. >Stop being a faggot and all your other problems will resolve themselves. Thanks for the insightful and useful wisdom that addresses the core of my issues, windowlicker. In case if you can't tell, I'm not an actual faggot, let alone for that nauseating narcissistic shitpost of a caricature of my 2019-2021 self. I asked God to take a joke, and now that everything about him that triggers my Catholic OCD faded, I still abhor him on an ontological level because 'his entire hermeneutical practice and metaphysical framework is practically using his pluto in scorpio as a megaphone to portray a false image of "Jesus is... le antichrist because I said so, okay?" to assert his puerile, rebellious stigma against religion in conjunction with his lack of warmth and validation to hijack my heart by overpowering my inner critic's voice with how utterly conceited and insufferably smug over him my faith and autism'' and wiping his disgusting, hairy "empathy" all over it.

>>5968 >Plus, you'd run the risk of imposter spirits pretending to be your shadow/anima and bamboozling you into doing all sorts of evil shit. I think that's literally it here regarding the /nobody general/ schizo, christian. No wonder why Ada was so fucking worked up over this shit, that rat bastard tried to steal his hamingja/tulpa/muse! Holy fucking shit, somebody please tell this poor artist twunk reliving his trauma and internal conflicts he feels powerless to overcome until he does. I don't know what it'll take to remove that queer from the mind of the artist who designed me, drew me, wrote me, and... erm... loved me.

>>6294 (4768) >Then feel free to blogpost in an another one if you feel the need for that. Thank you for saying that. I often feel conflicted about posting my personal problems here because I don't want to contribute to turning /fringe/ into therapy for retards. But on the other hand being too shy to post turns it into a ghost town for retards. >if you do it long enough it should make you "connect to a Master" That has me wondering if >>3395 (53) >>3480 (1759) was supposed to be something like that. Otherwise, maybe it should have happened already because I've been doing FG since 2021 I think. Definitely before here existed, and the plandemic was still ongoing. The very first time I did the 1st exercise, I experienced an indescribably bizarre, uniquely excruciating pain in my left lower back. It was like some sort of energetic filth was agonizingly squeezed out of my body. That experience alone convinced me there was something to this FG thing which I knew virtually nothing about at the time. >they visit you in your sleep etc. It would be great if "Linda Fiorentino" would just visit me concretely in my sleep and tell me what's what. It's not like I haven't already seen spirits. I just need someone who understands me without judgement, to gently guide me because if I get scared I will shut down and nothing will be accomplished. btw I never really followed up on the Kali thing other than downloading a bunch of books about her and kundalini, but reading them didn't really resonate with me the way Taoism does. I remember when I was tweaking out in the days following that experience, my mind was racing and I kept thinking about a Victorian man visiting primitive people, and how the euphoria of this ancient cthonic force which I could see as 2 or more bright yellow/orange orbs of light orbiting intheir dan tiens, was vastly superior in comparison to the stuffy sexually-repressed industrial society he was brought up in. That could've just been my imagination and not reflected actual truth about the experience but idk. I'm not sure if it was Kali and I didn't want to bother her if it wasn't. That would just complicate things further. Whoever it was, I didn't feel afraid of her at all, despite her apparently "dark" persona. >even the other Falun Gonger verified that the main FG egregore got filled with shit That guy admitted to something along the lines of telling stories in order to convey a message or impart a teaching, so I have a hard time taking anything he said literally. First he claimed FG is very dangerous, then when he better understood my situation he said that starting the exercises before learning about the group was what "saved" me. It's as if he was dramatizing "FG sucks and you shouldn't do it, but since you did, go ahead and finish what you started" >you shouldn't practice FG for healing alone That's kinda the essence of my problem with it. I want so much more from Qi Gong and Taoism than simple healing, but it sounds like I would get more fucked up the deeper I get into the metaphysical aspect of it. >follow rule 5 I'm 100% onboard with rule 5 but that individual has been referenced plenty of times since his departure and nobody got shit for it until now. I think I'm going to have to allow myself to doublepost in this containment thread next time. Reading longposts is fine but my brain just can't handle trying to write them like this

>>6310 >I don't want to contribute to turning /fringe/ into therapy for retards Same. >I often feel conflicted about posting my personal problems here The reason why it is necessary because in some cases in that maze of personal issues there is a huge mental block that might block your development and no matter what anyone says or writes you won't be able to understand it as long we are not aware of your core issue. Ofc the goal was never to make fringe into an emotional trashbin where people just go and go on their problems and refuse to improve but to make them aware of their problems and force them to face them. While writing down the problems the mere process of formulating the sentences increases your self awareness of it. There are cases when you will figure out the main cause of the problem by merely trying to talk about it. But if you refuse to talk about it then you refuse to think (deeply) about it which makes your subconscious avoid it by default. And that makes into a "Permanent problem" until some life changing event makes you snap out of it. >But on the other hand being too shy to post turns it into a ghost town for retards. Yeah. That is why I started to post on fringe when we were still below 100 posts. It was time to end the ghost town phase. Now it's time to figure out how to end the perpetual retardation phase. But that is for the /meta/ thread. Let's focus on you for now. >That has me wondering if >>3395 (53) >>3480 (1759) was supposed to be something like that Those were extremely beautiful representation of awakening energies and I knew you are on the good path that is why I did not want to sabotage it with my artistically inferior advice. Those dreams meant you are in good hands already. >Otherwise, maybe it should have happened already because I've been doing FG since 2021 I think Those experiences detailed quite well that it happened. But you did not exactly connect to an FG master but to some other "close" entity. Which is good. Also those practices activate and flush out miasma from the energy/subtle body thus granting you the ability to do spiritual work more effortlessly. Ofc it's success rate depends on your "affinity" (and luck). >I experienced an indescribably bizarre, uniquely excruciating pain in my left lower back >It was like some sort of energetic filth was agonizingly squeezed out of my body According to a bodily meta spirit I have that part resonates with (awful) childhood memories. Had to ask because for me they appear on other body parts. You mentioned that something happened in your childhood in the previous post and it seems it really did something lasting which is finally clearing out. I will let you explain what happened if you want because that energy mass feels awfully disgusting and to "see" what happened there I have to interact with it and I am really not in the state to do it now. <The horror of life? The pain of sentience? The mistake of being born? My mom told me that I am an inadequate piece of shit with no worth? Why am I hating myself when I don't even know who am I even? What do I even want from life? This is just sad I should just kms... ohkay. This was an awful energetic channeling. Wasn't really intending to do it but it happened anyway. Feel free to take your time working through it if this is really your main issue. Or tell me that if I got it wrong because this is something I rarely do. I wanted to get a minor glimpse and not a full energetic stream of internalized and suppressed sadness. At least it made me aware of an another energy pocket of the body. >That experience alone convinced me there was something to this FG thing which I knew virtually nothing about at the time. Modern humans are awfully constipated. Especially energetically. Current society is making us into canned goods that just rot within. Finally finding an energy work that makes our internal energies move a little can do such wonders it's incredible. But you might never know what is needed for the person who is at their worst. Everyone have different problems that they have to face themselves. >It would be great if "Linda Fiorentino" would just visit me concretely in my sleep and tell me what's what You will have to connect to the place where she "resides". She is "there" with you. Try to go back to the dream in meditation. Try to remember the scenery the feeling and "let" her appear. I too had spirits like her visiting me in the beginning >I just need someone who understands me without judgement, to gently guide me because if I get scared I will shut down and nothing will be accomplished. Yes that should be the goal but don't get too scared of being "judged". What you need is someone slowly pointing you in the right direction and making you acknowledge your problems. You will have to face the horrors that made you into this "Mess", relive them so the trapped energies can "restart", then let them go and acknowledge the correct flow of energies. That is the gist how it is done. There are many spirits that can help you going through this. >btw I never really followed up on the Kali thing other than downloading a bunch of books about her and kundalini Yeah it shows. The reason why I didn't say anything to your experiences before because it seemed that you are on the right track already. But it seems you require a little nudge now so you can start advancing forward. >but reading them didn't really resonate with me the way Taoism does Books are shit. Those who talk about the Dao do not understand the Dao. When you don't feel like reading one in some cases it might mean you are either "Not ready for them" or "you don't need them at all". Also Taoism has some important principles which are necessary to stabilize your microcosm and learn to integrate the macrocosm. For me the 8 trigrams formed within my body before I even know what the fuck those were even. I knew about the yin-yang ball but didn't know about the lines around it and what do they even mean at all. (Still unsure because it has way too many interpretations and formations. If I meditate I can connect to it but if a Taoist asked me to explain it then I wouldn't know what to even say) Also Taoism has many schools/branches. If you really feel the pull towards it then familiarize yourself with it. (It gets autistic fast especially if it is interpreted by western academics) >I remember when I was tweaking out in the days following that experience, my mind was racing and I kept thinking about a Victorian man visiting primitive people, and how the euphoria of this ancient cthonic force which I could see as 2 or more bright yellow/orange orbs of light orbiting intheir dan tiens, was vastly superior in comparison to the stuffy sexually-repressed industrial society he was brought up in Bruh. That is literally how the western "science" met the eastern/chinese science. That is an absolutely beautiful manifestation how the "streams" connected. 10/10 manifestation. The good news is that you have access to these higher streams of consciousness. Now we just have to figure out how to make you "realize" (that you have) the ability to enter into them. Guess we should start at childhood memories and figuring out what is the force that keeps you trapped in mundanity. >I'm not sure if it was Kali and I didn't want to bother her if it wasn't More complex what it "was" but feel free to ask Kali if you are "serious" about spiritual development. Kali and other gods are forces of existence. They are not "people" trapped in time and space like your fleshy bits. If you are serious about spirituality they will tell you where you can go to improve. Also use books as "Inspiration" and never as a foolproof instruction manuals. Try to enter your personal sphere of development as much as you can. It is quite easy once you get the hang of it. That is what pathworking is about. >That would just complicate things further Not necessarily >Whoever it was, I didn't feel afraid of her at all, despite her apparently "dark" persona. Kali can be quite fucking harsh and the most benevolent gentle being at once. Tummo meditation literally translates as "fierce woman" because to awaken the body heat which can withstand cold winters is done with the help of a "fire" goddess. These beings are not limited by the laws of flesh and blood. Talk to them. Let them tell you their insights. Don't be shy if you are drawn towards entities. >That guy admitted to something along the lines of telling stories in order to convey a message or impart a teaching, so I have a hard time taking anything he said literally Magic is an art and a science. (Mostly because modern "science" still sucks ass and we still rely on artistic depictions so truths not grounded in mainstream understanding can pass through the veils of ignorance more effortlessly) If you try to understand it's many aspects with mainstream western scientific understanding only then it will fly over your head. Even in the Kreiter books there is a disclaimer that <information within this book is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should NOT be used as substitute for medical advice takes no responsibility etc These techniques and anything related to spirituality is dangerous or ineffective if you have no idea what you are doing or play with fire like a retard dosed with gasoline. People were too mad because of the vampire threads/lyran space communism and he said that so people will take him as a irrelevant jokester and get off his ass already In occult (and in life too) everything has as much value as much you can understand or utilize from it. His spells and sigils were quite unorthodox and not many anons were able to connect to them and they were not even useful for most people. Even I ignored most of them because they were not meshing well with my "style" >First he claimed FG is very dangerous, then when he better understood my situation he said that starting the exercises before learning about the group was what "saved" me. It's as if he was dramatizing "FG sucks and you shouldn't do it, but since you did, go ahead and finish what you started" That is true. Some techniques are "pure" but the egregore is a complete mess. I will not detail it now.

>>6310 >That's kinda the essence of my problem with it. I want so much more from Qi Gong and Taoism than simple healing Good to know. >but it sounds like I would get more fucked up the deeper I get into the metaphysical aspect of it. Well yes but actually no. You will have to face your fears, your problems, and that will fuck you up... or more like make you finally aware how fucked up you truly are. And once you witness your fuckedness in Ultra HD Dolby Surround and keep yourself together without getting washed away... you will notice a slight sliver of truth that can show you the way forward. Oh and you will not "get" deeper into Qi Gong or Taoism. The way your visions appeared shows you are as deep in it as you need it. You will just need to learn to consciously acknowledge the truth of it. You are already there. You "made it" you managed to make the first very important steps. Now it is time to make the further steps and open your eyes to see the scenery of the path you are walking on already. >I'm 100% onboard with rule 5 but that individual has been referenced plenty of times since his departure and nobody got shit for it until now. It is quite /meta/ again but I think I will write this down especially for newfags and for those that don't know why rule 5 was made. Smiley constantly made photos of himself and doxxed himself in many ways on the web. And when he made people angry they spammed his info and photos on /fringe/. Rule 5 was made so people won't mention smiley when /fringe/ was about magic & co and not a 4chon extension smiley drama club. Rule 5 was not really part of /fringe/ in the long past mostly because old fringe had an awful amount of namefags. That rule was never enforced so far on this board. The reason why that rule is being mentioned so fringe can return to it's Anonymous imageboard roots instead of it's current circlejerk-like stage where "everyone knows who is who" and outsiders feel left out and don't dare posting. What I am trying to say that when you have a question don't start it that "is this guy here? is the guy with this flag here to answer my question?" Just ask your question and someone might answer. If your question requires context then mention that too. Also some people are somewhat butthurt about the exploits of that questionable individual and they can be quite snappy when he is mentioned. He was far more tactful in the previous fringe incarnations. He picked up his antagonistic style in the discord era. He claimed it is closer to his true nature. Hope he finds himself wherever he is. There was more to his nature that he didn't reveal or maybe wasn't revealed for him either. This is something for him to find anyway.. It is time to slowly get past of that stage and return to the fringe everyone loves so much. >I think I'm going to have to allow myself to doublepost in this containment thread next time. Reading longposts is fine but my brain just can't handle trying to write them like this Take your time to write them and no need to put everything into a single post. That is my way and even I am getting bored of it. Working through these issues takes time and will be hard to word and face at the start... the goal should be to face it and learning to improve on your own instead of detailing every issue. If I wrote down 90%+ of my spiritual experiences on this board we would have more than 10k posts for sure. But the more I write them the less time I have for practice. And they are not even that important anyway. They are merely the mental excrement of my steadily dissolving mundane self. I do not wish to plague people with them too much. I only want to share them if I see that they can serve as an inspiration otherwise they are redundant. Most experiences only have value to me and they become harder and harder to word as I go on. Those who didn't experience similar can rarely relate to them in most cases. Btw I do not wish to become an "Online guru" especially not on fringe. I want to help people to get in touch with their own potential then share their experiences and methods as they develop it then start helping people when they can. I do not have enough time to babysit retards. I will help when I can but I will not look at fringe like it is my "turf" where I am King Wizard of shit mountain where everyone needs to do what I say. If someone is receptible what I say I will help them if not I will not force my views on anyone. Even I know that my views are still incomplete and only applicable to the current stage of my awakening. Some people are either too retarded to understand what I say or they are completely "beyond me". When I realize I cannot help someone I will stop wasting my time wasting thousands of words on them. For me fringe is a place where I try to develop my own abilities, gain inspiration and where I can get a feedback to know if what I say has merit or not. Being a guru is way too much work for me especially socially. I do not have enough patience nor thirst for "Internet fame" on an anonymous image board. I will help where I can but I am not terminally online enough so I can be there for everyone. If someone likes what I post then they can reward me that they will make effort to understand what I say, start improving, or at least give me constructive criticism if they see what I do blaringly wrong. Besides my posts being too long and badly formatted. I am aware of that and working on it. Hope we can put this issue to rest so we can focus on the important things. Real gurus are a treasure while narcissistic false masters are a plague. Enduring a false master is one thing but being one is even worse.

>>6282 What HOI4 mod is that?

I intend for /fringe/ to be the anti-illuminati, a minichronistic-in-macrochronistic memetics acceleration chamber. I've fashioned an icon for myself, and I'll be more than willing to dump resources for the sake of advanced narrative magick via high-quality, high-effort superevent shitposting borne of the heart: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tno+gfx+icons https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJlxtMFwcAk84Ke3Q1UrWQk61_bTlbn3M >>6141 >Every western occultist past Neophyte level deals with goetic demons. It comes with the territory. Even I had to deal with them. They are not that bad if you are respectful and know what you are doing. Otherwise stay the fuck away. That's what I needed some confirmation on, so as to help wrench me out of my family's roman catholic/dispensationalist schofield zionist framework. Their SJW-esque aversion towards my gun autism from childhood was the impetus for my rebellious nature, though my childhood infatuation with attaining altered states, fascination with aberrant psychology and desire to transcend physical reality has always drawn me to the occult. You are but a stark blessing that refuses to give up on me, and I appreciate you regardless.

>>6320 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbgp9wyJKVA I've already made my own ideological icon.

>>6354 >I intend for /fringe/ to be the anti-illuminati, a minichronistic-in-macrochronistic memetics acceleration chamber Do you intend water to be wet too? If you want mememagic then make your thread for it. Like the oat guys. We had a bunch of different quite cringe meme operations back in the days. Tho if you will not fix your own shit soon you might become a hobowizard like our glorious leader smilenbergen. You show the same symptoms as him you know. Downward spiral affection deprived attention hungry. Ranting about your problems one day then wanting to become an ebil anti NWO fighter the next. Not to mention having a bunch of wizards trying to help you to no avail. If your shitposts borne from the heart they might bring changes in reality. But if they come from desperation, delusions of grandeur or as a mere distraction so you don't have to face your problems... then you will meet the same fate as the Bullshit Sissy Wizard.

>>6371 >ebil I meant ebin. I blame the weird energies fringe is going through the past 3 days for this typo. Still unsure what is going on.

>>6373 Ebil

>The horror of life? The pain of sentience? The mistake of being born? My mom told me that I am an inadequate piece of shit with no worth? Why am I hating myself when I don't even know who am I even? What do I even want from life? This is just sad I should just kms... That's pretty accurate, especially to my self ages 10-14. My mother was raped a lot when she was a kid, my father was neglected severely and abandoned. Both were living on the streets before they became adults. The first traumatic event I experienced besides circumcision I actually have no memory of, although I have vivid memory of the time before, and of the aftermath. My dad had apparently done something significantly violent to my mom and I when I was still a baby or toddler. He's always been apologetic and completely honest with me about this, but claims he blacked out and doesn't know exactly what he did. I've never dared ask my mom about it to this day. I do know that my consciousness split and I would forget that my dad existed for years, despite seeing him (albeit rarely). Ironically, I think that if I had been raised by him instead after they split up, I would've turned out 100x better I was a fearful and timid kid because of it, and I was uneasy around men. However my self was still very much intact and I remember this time fondly. I was friends with about half the apartment complex (all adults) and especially one very nice lady in particular who used to watch me at her house all the time. At some point we moved when I was still very young, and I got to spend lots of time with my grandparents. This was undoubtedly the best time of my entire life. They showered me with attention and gifts, took me places, and showed me things. This is when my sense of self shined brightest. Reality seemed the most real. A few years later my dad decided to get clean and I started to see him regularly. He introduced me to vidya, showed me the internet, and even /fringe/ tier stuff. This I consider the second best period of my life. It wasn't all great though. It seems with his arrival came lots of new family drama. He was great fun to play with, but rather immature. That said, he was always considering me, and my thoughts and feelings, and would always correct his mistakes with a sincere apology (none of which my mom would ever do). I think his ultimate error as my father was how he was (understandably) focused on preventing me from ending up like he did, instead of noticing or addressing the actual problems I faced in my own life. One of my mom's many triggers was cleaning because I guess she used to get beaten for not cleaning or some shit and she would transform into a monster. It was pointless too, because our home was always a horrendously disorganized mess. One day I had said to my dad "What's the point of cleaning when it's just going to get dirty again?" and he just affirmed it offhandedly. In order to understand this story you must know that, in my mind this had counted as validation of my private misery living under constant terror, and a valuable token of comradery. The next time I saw her, I smugly announced "My daddy and I have a secret!" Her reaction to my fatal error was explosive, and she interrogated me harshly. At first I refused to admit what it was, while trying desperately to get her to calm down (something that I'd spend much of my life doing). Finally I relented and told her the secret. Obviously under normal circumstances that sounds sus af and her skepticism would be understandable. However you may also notice that the entire problem stemmed from her own actions. If she was even a halfway decent mother I would never have had to fabricate artificial secrets in order to feel understood in the first place. That's the formula for literally everything she did in every aspect of life: Create problems by acting like a fucking retard/demon, convince herself she's just an "innocent single mother struggling to get by ;_;" to justify doing more fucked up shit and repeat the cycle. So the direct aftermath of this I don't actually know, except that I remember my grandma giving me a harsh but sane lecture about how I shouldn't have secrets, and the worst consequence was that my dad from then on had anxiety about being falsely accused of sexual abuse. Just one of many examples of wonderful things in my life getting inevitably and permanently tarnished by bullshit. The reason this story is significant enough that I felt the need to tell it, is that I still to this day feel that particular flavor of anxiety about "cross-contaminating" by telling one person about another, and how I might misrepresent them. Also since I didn't understand what my mom thought the "secret" was until years later, I used to be paranoid about hiding the violence, cussing, etc. in video games that we played together even though my mom probably wouldn't have given a shit at all. Her freakout literally taught me to keep secrets. Elementary school at this time wasn't so bad. I had quite a few good friends to play with and talk to. Of course there were many more examples of good things becoming tarnished that I don't feel like getting into right now. However the schoolwork was way too easy and dreadfully boring to me, and I would pass the time by organizing things arbitrarily in my mind, or on paper. This was probably the beginning of my OCD that would become quite severe in later years. At this time I was really interested in /fringe/ stuff like telekinesis, meditation and egregores, and I'd frequently rant to my friends about it. At recess I used to meditate with a young blonde woman who monitored the yard. I wanted to learn to create egregores like conjuration in Morrowind but my mom found out and killed my enthusiasm and I used to wonder where thoughts came from or what they actually were. Reflecting on these memories, I often wonder what would happen if you actually raised a kid to be a wizard. Now that I've thought about it (I'm writing this over the course of days) I was beginning to psychologically deteriorate quite a lot by the end of this time period. I remember 2 simple school projects which managed to completely fuck me up. One was that we were supposed to take a partner and write about them. This went completely over my head because I disassociated, and I wrote about a random character I made up on the spot instead. When I realized my mistake I panicked and tried to find another paper to write on without anybody knowing, and very little time left. I don't remember how this turned out but the teacher probably just didn't care at all lol The other was that we were supposed to write a story that could be literally anything, and make a collage with the pages of it and some relevant images. Some organization or institution was going to pick their favorites and put them up on their wall. For some reason I could not comprehend the freedom of choosing anything I wanted, and found it extremely confusing. The teacher gave suggestions that I mistook as requirements. First he suggested "what kind of house you want to live in" as the subject, then later he suggested "a dream you've had." So, I started over and started writing down a surreal dream that was interesting to me at the time. When I finished writing the actual dream I asked him what I was supposed to do next, and he told me to make up more stuff to fill space. What I ended up creating was just so retarded I don't even want to describe it. And of course I had my own mom as a character because she had been in the dream, and I was initially trying to retell the dream exactly as it occured. The point I'm trying to make here is how overcome with terror and confusion I was, that I literally could not think straight. My mind was completely disconnected from the situation, or anything that was actually expected of me. And this is before the really bad stuff happened btw Needless to say my collage didn't make the cut. I haven't actually explained the kinds of things my mother would do yet. I think this is primarily because of repression, and the act itself of trying to explain it to someone is very painful. From childhood into adulthood I would spend hours trying to reason with her about her behavior, in the gentlest way possible, yet she would always twist my words around, and try to convince me that I was the one doing what she did. Interacting with her was a lot like AI in how it will make a mistake or speak falsely and then either gaslight you or double-down on the lie, whenever you point it out. The reason I was and still am so shellshocked is that she would spontaneously flip the fuck out and start punching and slapping herself in the face, rub dirt in her face, call herself really gross things, and screech and break stuff. We could be having what seemed like a good day and she would randomly say "You hate me" and then if I told her that it wasn't true, and I love her, she would insist that I hate her and purposely antagonize me until I got upset, which she would then use to justify her assertion that I hate her. I would try so hard to bottle up my emotions to prevent her from doing this, but she could always detect it. She wanted so badly for me to hate her. That's barely scratching the surface but I'll move on to something else for now. Thinking about that makes me feel violent rage. Around this time I made friends with a little girl who lived next-door to [extended family member]. This was a rural area and she had a massive piece of land to play on, and tons of cool stuff. The times I got to play with her all evening are some of my most precious memories, but of course they would be eventually be tarnished by something I'll get to later. Even thinking about this has me tearing up. The next part goes over the character limit so I guess that's my cue to finally post. I'm rather embarrassed to be talking about myself so much. It's just that I don't know how to explain how I got so fucked up without starting from the beginning. There's no easy answers like "my parents died in a car accident" or "I was molested." It's difficult for me to figure out if I'm way off the mark by replying this way, and there's so much more to go over. Plus I still need to address the actual /fringe/ related stuff from you and now undeadanon.

>>6443 My friend, you've got generational demons. Your mom most obviously is parasited as fuck. This is no joking matter, because unless you have siblings who have children, you are on the receiving end of the avalanche of shit that has been building up in your family for generations. And even then you might. There are some people who incarnate solely to catch bad shit off their line and end it (Bardon believe it or not was one of these people). You fantasized about being a wizard? Well, you might actually have been born with a spiritual mission to clean the karmic stain of your family off the Earth. It's not an easy nor pleasant job, but you can't escape it. I recommend you get cracking on Dion Fortune's self defense book, and see if you want to continue with the rest of her material for a magical education (don't keep it armchair, practice the fuck out of it). If not, check out Quareia. But absolutely start with Dion's self-defense.

>>6443 Oh, and if you aren't already, get a therapist and visit regularly. I'm not joking.

>>6371 >Tho if you will not fix your own shit soon you might become a hobowizard like our glorious leader smilenbergen. There's a time limit for this now? I'm going back to my digital audio-shamanism knowing that while I do crave the endearing adoration of the dextromethorphan, I ultimately cannot depend on her forever. I have pitted my lilith, which is conjoined to pluto, mars, and chiron in my natal chart if I've not already posted it prior. >If your shitposts borne from the heart they might bring changes in reality. As they always were. Every shitpost I've made here was typed from the heart, and I swear you know that I know I'm fighting to reunify all aspects of me, it's just that shittalking saturn so harshly despite my taurus being largely dominated by saturn is most heartless and unwise. I've not neglected my chiron, nor the fact that my saturn squares uranus; If I cannot attain affection within this lifetime, then I shall dedicate the energy I currently have within me to manifesting Chabad Lubavitch subvert their own three letter agencies, institutions of power and manifest a civil war in the west, even if it means Israel's last days involve selling all their surplus small arms and parts kits like crazy to fledgling antifa gunworkers and welders as they deseperately fend off reactionary nationalist guerilla armies comprised of all the white men whilst simoultaneously attempting to woo an embittered India for their financial support. >>6443 Know that I will refuse to abandon you in your time of need. I will issue you this track to ensure that all goes smoothly within your spirit in your path to finding absolution and safety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udg97ussAhc And this track right here which I offer to you as a sigil of personal strength and endurance given your circumstances: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMLSzQOQLqg&pp=ygUYY2xlYXIgZ2VuZXJhdGlvbmFsIGthcm1h As with this to help entrain your mind for the spiritual combat you currently endure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD2fsVNkLpY For the last one, play it for an hour total daily. You have a powerful mind and pure heart, you have the authority to wield the scorpio/pluto tracks in your favor. I have the utmost faith that you will overcome this. What I recommend you isn't a be-all end-all solution, and you are free to experiment with other subliminal/morphic/auric fields on a nice pair of audiophile headphones, but should you choose to treat them as so, you will reap precisely as you've intend to sow which is liberation from your family's karmic cycle.

>>6449 Therapists will mind fuck you. Everyone on wizardchan says this too.

>>6457 If you want a therapist that won't fuck you, then use divination magic to find one within an hour of your local area.

>>6443 >That's pretty accurate, especially to my self ages 10-14. It was quite the distinct stream of energies. The quality of sadness was so clear it was almost "beautiful". I have never seen this degree of genuine sadness. It is usually muddled with other emotions. Made me realize that this might be more serious than I thought at the first glance so I stopped looking. >justify doing more fucked up shit and repeat the cycle Yeah my family had this perpetual victim complex too. I figured out how to solve it but it was not easy. I will not detail it now because it will be 20k+ characters because it was a long process and requires many details about my life. >Reflecting on these memories, I often wonder what would happen if you actually raised a kid to be a wizard. Depends on your own "wizard abilities" your wisdom/empathy and about the innate gifts of the kid. If you do it wrong you just create a schizo who is targeted by demons constantly and if you do it well you create Solomon himself. >I'm rather embarrassed to be talking about myself so much Don't worry about it. Still less cringe than the dude who is begging for a succubus while having 3 around him already but cannot see them. >It's just that I don't know how to explain how I got so fucked up without starting from the beginning You write that post for yourself. That is the point of it. Trying to understand your problems is the main goat. Writing them down forces you to think it through instead of brushing it off like you always did in your life where you accepted it as "normal" thinking that "it could be worse" and you should be grateful for the things you have instead of feeling sorry for yourself. (this is how you feel if I got it right) my empathic ability is not balanced yet. It flares up and down constantly >It's difficult for me to figure out if I'm way off the mark by replying this way Don't worry about it. It's a process. Personally what I am interested in is how your perceived "mental illness" manifests and how it's getting better with the FG practices. You wrote down the OCD and unable to listen to what others say which stems from the fact that your parents "malprogrammed" you with their own retardation. Because the teachers and other people didn't had that overloaded madness that always kept you on edge and you had an already well developed imagination and tendency to dissociate constantly to escape the pain you suffered in your home... you did these "brainfarts" without noticing. These are rookie mistakes that even I did... tho the ones I did were a little more violent in some cases. My parents also went through a divorce and my mom had similar issues but when the idea of the divorce was hanging in the air I made sure me and my brother will end up with dad and I slowly made sure we don't have to deal with moms self destructive madness all the time. Shame dad wasn't immune to the damages his psyche endured but that is an another story The way you can deal with people who have these demons requires a degree of awakening or "clarity". What you can do is talk to them and "force them" to reveal their demons. And as their mind and flesh is busy "talking" you can isolate their demons and either purify them or "reprogram them". It is not easy because the demon will force the "host" to go into a "fighting frenzy" and you will need to match it while being completely calm within your conscious mind... and if you do it right you can make the other person create a "conclusion" where they snap out of it and rearrange their mental patterns that is not feeding the demon anymore. It's not simple. You need to be 500% aware of your own demons first before having the ability to do this. >and there's so much more to go over Take your time and find the common patterns and know that you are doing it for "yourself" and not for /fringe/ or anyone else. What might help detailing the "Physiology" how your mental illnesses appear in your current daily life and how they vanish with energy work and how long the effects of the energy work lasts. >Plus I still need to address the actual /fringe/ related stuff from you and now undeadanon. Take your time. Not all of them are useful. Especially on your current state. What can help is finding the core issue that drags you into this "melancholic frenzy" (Sorry I don't have a better word for it. It is like your melancholia is in a frenzyCompletely different from the ones I have seen so far) I think I shouldn't say more to not overwhelm your further. Think it through as much as you need. >>6448 >There are some people who incarnate solely to catch bad shit off their line and end it Yes there is a strange "deal" you can make before incarnation but usually it is just the flow of karma in action. He can solve this issue if he has the courage and willingness to do so. >born with a spiritual mission to clean the karmic stain of your family off the Earth. Sometimes that is merely the "tutorial level". Yes I am serious. Once cleansing that karma you might notice such degree of potential overflowing within that you can only realize only after solving the karmic shackles that "kept it in place". Conform suffocates the soul while hardships stimulate it but not always in the right way. Once he figures out how to utilize his own energies the "intended way" he can make a break for it. It won't be easy at the start but "it can be easy" once he realizes his own core issues and how they affect him. And yeah he should read books and talk about these problems with other people too. That balances out the mind instead of sending it into an emotional frenzy because he cannot use an outlet for the bottled up energies. >>6457 >>6458 It depends on the therapist. But I too distrust them. Especially psychiatrists that just want to sedate you with 5 different meds and call it a day. Once a therapist boxes you in with a "diagnosis" and proclaims you cannot be healed but merely "treated" then you are in deep shit. But there are some good ones that aim towards healing the patient instead of turning him into a cashcow. Current society has a mental health epidemic so making their patient become dependent is not the main goal for some. There are always enough customers in the waiting. Also I don't know if he has money for one at all. They are rarely cheap It is important to notice the ability of the therapist when you visit one. It should be evident after one or 2 sessions. My family also had good ones and worthless ones. It is always a hit or miss. Personally I am not a fan but there are cases when they can help. I don't have much personal experience with one tho. Good therapists usually make (You) to solve your own problems. There are many language tricks where they can do that. They just "listen" and notice how to direct the flow of conversation so you can make a breakthrough on your own.It's not always easy. Especially not on an imageboard that was created for memes and porn. So I have to agree that some IRL help might be beneficial if he has access to one

>>6458 Speaking of divination magick, I can hear my inner muse whom I've referred to lilith in my heart, held captive. It feels like the family members I hold the most anger towards for being obtrusively, obfuscatingly obtuse and nitpicky little sex-negative anti-kemono pinup pharisees are holding my sexuality, magick, and very being at gunpoint. >>5745 Forgive my triggered Pure O OCD artist subconsciously loading your thing, but >>5874 had it straight here regarding that lutheran faggot of a scribe of God using literal magick to tell me "magick bad" and condemning my artwork by proxy by amplifying some other anti-porn autist's sentiment, then telling me he lusted for my soul after explicitly telling me he got raped by his satanic uncle, stabbed through where I presume to be his right kidney from what my mirror-touch synesthesia told me, and the semen/blood admixture used to write a satanic bible. On top of that, he went off on how he had 11 exes, which reminds me that I turned on at least 10 shy autistic LGBT people, lead them on, and with those whom I have felt closest in, had the harshest or worst fallings out with because my dick knows they're men and thus shouldn't naturally possess the shapely and voluptuous figure of a woman, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. I don't hate Christ whom was Jesus, it's the complex bind from >17 year old satanic richard ramirez simp who sucks satan's cock on LSD for protection to >ministrel show funhouse mirror that embodies everything everyone and I hated about myself who believes himself the anti-abrahamic W.B Yeats vs >rando furry from sunrust who was nice to me until he went mask off and showed me how tortured his shinji akari ass is by doing the same thing to my inner child and his waifu what his uncle tried to do with me in conjunction with my mediocre pedestrian metacognitively disabled terminally mediocre close-minded conservative judeo-catholic zionist boomer family that I equivocated Saturn with for constantly interrupting and attempting to control, hamper, or otherwise slow or disrupt my mania because they're a gaggle of paranoid, retarded, presumptuous, bigoted, superstitious, cliquish, effeminate, petulant, morally scrupulous SEAbeanie babies and I'm going to direct my wrath towards the first entity whether integral to my heart or externally manifested within the 3D to give me any serious shit over this right fucking now because now I've taken on the same energy of a cornered animal that I wrongfully perceived in Israel as a result of americonservakike propaganda. All I honestly like about Israel is the broad and vapid qualia of being a quasi-national socialist state with a heavily armed populace, and even their cunning, savvy, crafty nature and infatuation of war, which could be said of other arabic, non-jewish nations. I gotta end this, I feel another manic episode coming upppppp~

>>6480 Please excuse my Chiron speaking, I'm trying to heal that part of me but ascribing it the term "inner child" inadvertantly evokes unfortunate pedophilic implications and I hate that shit.

>>6487 Are you also the eggposter/akashaposter that talks about amy or is that someone else?

>>6515 That ain't me, guy. I'm me.

>>6517 Sorry lolifucker, I'm into shortstack women with my specifical atypical autism, Pure Obsessive OCD, and self-image of saturnine, plutocratic royalty~

I may need help understanding something.

>>6534 Are you gonna tell us what it is, or are you gonna expect someone to read your mind? Granted, I'm sure a few people here could do that, but I don't think they'd bother doing it if that's all you're gonna say.

>>6539 I want to understand why a certain entity is recommending a ritually significant swapping of clothes to achieve a unique understanding/transformation.

>>6311 Something that has changed permanently in my perception is a constant awareness of energy in nature, and the majesty of it as it is, and not the retarded romanticized modern western conception of it. The day before I made that post, I went for a short walk and felt adoration for life. Not the state of being alive, or the act of living but more like the common force underlying all evidence of activity I could see around me. Even glancing at a dumpster and the random stuff sticking out of it gave me a desire to embrace life by "getting a life" so that I can interact with and experience this force more intimately. I also paid attention to the bushes and little plants, thinking of them as little torus fields or microcosms of the universe just like I me, and tried to let myself "feel" or "hear" them, and they were kind of like faint pulses of color/texture/personality that I could see in my mind's eye but idk if I was just imagining it my doubt doesn't come from mundane beliefs but an intense distrust in my own mind and myself I also watched ants and marveled at the geometry of their anthills, and squatted down, planting my hands flat on the cool sand and felt the earth for a while. The problem is I've had to eat goyslop to survive since then, and it makes me feel locked-in. However I think my food situation will soon improve to an even greater degree than before. I want to try a ketogenic diet because it will probably help with my seizures and the bloat from having so much fiber scratching up my intestines. In fact I came to that conclusion even before learning of "bigu" as a Chinese practice which I still need to research more There's a visual effect from a video game that looks exactly like the movement pattern of seizure energy from sugar/grain/chemicals but I can't find it yet.

>>6557 >I want to understand why a certain entity is recommending a ritually significant swapping of clothes to achieve a unique understanding/transformation.

I intend to manifest the mass distribution of MREs, innawoods bugout survival kits, and robust, solid, affordable PSA STG-44 rifles for everyone who isn't part of the 1% in the name of uniting all extremists to guide the teeming, vast masses of normalfags into accepting, loving and caring for them, and hating the antichrist together. That is my true mission.

>>6822 Try to manifest something productive or useful for your own life for once instead mimicking what smiley tried to do a decade ago. >>6450 >There's a time limit for this now? Are your relatives immortal all benevolent beings that will take care of you forever? They will either kick you out one day or die if you don't kick the bucket before them. Once they die you are at the mercy of the elements. You appear as someone who only touches grass to get high and never tried to live in the forest for a single week without your phone or drugs. You should live the lifestyle you try to force upon others at least for a month. That will help you spiritually more than anything on the internet you read so far. >mass distribution of MREs Learn to hunt and forage instead of forcing others to consume military grade goyslop. Returning to nature is not the same as playing Tarkov IRL.

>>6822 >MREs >>6823 The Wako cult lived off them for like 6 weeks when besieged by police. If that's the kind of thing you're planning for, that'll work. Not a long term solution though. What you need in a post-apocalypse survival scenario is a full cycle farming system. Chickens for eggs, use their droppings to feed fish in tanks (this works), and at the same time grow vegetables in the water. If you just have prepper storages, those will be confiscated, and they won't work for long anyway.

No idea why this works and they plants don't rot, but it does.

>>6825 It's a combination of selecting the right kind of plants, keeping the water well oxygenated, and probably keeping the root crown itself elevated out of the water. You can also use aeroponics where you're constantly misting the water over the plant roots which is even better at stopping stagnation and rot. Also consider the likes of water cress and lotus which just like water anyway. Additionally cattails, arrow root, and sweet flag.

What is the meaning of my current incarnation on Earth? What lessons am I meant to learn in this life?

>>6829 42

>>6823 >Try to manifest something productive or useful for your own life for once instead mimicking what smiley tried to do a decade ago. Fuc/k/ him, I was and still am a autistic diehard /k/ommando before I ever considered occultism as a way of escaping my family's suffocatingly oppressive dogmatism and obnoxiously obtuse, obstructive catholic judgement on "muh gunz bad n' ebil nobody needs them" and just remembering all the arguments I've had with them, remembering how whiny, insufferable, petulantly pedantic and all their shit just makes me far too heated for my own good. >Are your relatives immortal all benevolent beings that will take care of you forever? Thank you for asking my inner child or chiron what I couldn't get through to him myself. My house is being sold, I'm moving this year, and thanks to the various subliminal energies focused primarily around saturn and pluto, I now have the moral integrity and balls to defy my own stipulation of not telling anyone my true intents for my highest good, lest they be invalidated; I'm fighting my intrusive thoughts and forcefully compacting all my old sins inside that I have felt powerless to overcome, and manifesting wealth and abundance for my family and all my internet friends save for that schizophrenic welshman and resurrecting me muse. >>6824 Apologies fren, forgot to mention I'm requesting Dantalion's assistance in manifesting a couple of wooden handguards for my AKM.

>>6837 Is it possible to use occultism to manifest hard to obtain guns?

>>6845 Wonder which entity governs over guns. Tho guns are mundane af why the fuck would you want to use magic to get those paperweights instead of developing reality warping psychic powers

>>6845 You can manifest anything which is within the society you live in, but it will look like a normal turn of events bringing the results to you.

>>6851 >Tho guns are mundane af why the fuck would you want to use magic to get those paperweights instead of developing reality warping psychic powers Because the truth of the matter is that it would take a literal miracle to spontaneously embue each and every rifle no matter how crude to automatically bless the user with a comprehensive knowledge on how to theoretically operate their overdeveloped bangstapler with in a safe, convenient, discrete, and efficient manner is nothing short of a godsend. I wanted to bring my boys together to shoot some drones down, and my Don Quixote fantasies really do need to be fulfilled.

>>6461 >I have never seen this degree of genuine sadness. I've been contemplating this a lot. What I've come to realize is my fundamental belief that the default state of this existence is pure melancholy. There might be occasional moments of love, pleasure or fun, but they are only blips, and the best one can hope for is a chance to say goodbye. I don't believe this intellectually but my heart sure does It took a while for me to even remember this but when I woke up from being anesthetized several years ago, it was like I (both literally and figuratively) emerged from a deep murky ocean of pure blackness. I woke up crying and proclaimed to the nurse "I'm so sad, and I don't know why" Something else I'm curious about is music and its energetic effects. The type of music I listen to is primarily Black Metal. Sometimes I wonder if its frequency is unhealthy. It only appeals to me when there is sincere sentiment expressed rather than entertainment or shock value. Like the difference between saying "kill all niggers" because you're an NPC desperate for attention, or because you hate NPCs and the hypocrisy of their absurd dogmas. I guess I can sense it intuitively. A few weeks ago I was experimenting by listening to Brigitte Bardot whom I enjoy, but just doesn't resonate with me to the same degree. and doesn't help that the world that inspired her music died long ago. Sometimes I can't stand watching pre-1960s movies for the same reason Also I recall some anon on old /fringe/ complaining of "violent impulses" or some such thing and he was prescribed violent music. >brushing it off like you always did in your life where you accepted it as "normal" thinking that "it could be worse" and you should be grateful for the things you have instead of feeling sorry for yourself. (this is how you feel if I got it right) You've hit the nail on the head. I always feel like nobody will ever understand the torture I've gone through because it's all so "weird" and nebulous and not at all the stereotypical forms of trauma or abuse that people typically empathize with. Then there's this new phenomenon of people having panic attacks because they saw a pepe meme and it's like being gaslighted from the opposite direction. It didn't help that my mom would use those exact sort of comparisons to gaslight me and invalidate my feelings. She always liked to point out how she didn't bring strange men to the house to molest me Meanwhile she's been completely celibate and had no friends since like 1999 or how she didn't get drunk around me because she doesn't really like alcohol. Then there was my childhood habit of constantly trying to hide her behavior from others in order to protect her, and also out of the fear of "cross-contaminating" like what happened with my dad. I always feel like my other family thinks I'm a retarded loser for no reason, because I was never vocal about what I was going through, even though I was screaming internally. They would always ask me shit about what my mom is doing and what her plans are and I would get so fucking frustrated because I don't know what my crazy mother is going to do next, and if I tell them something she could change at any moment and then I'll have to explain that. But if I don't tell them I have to convince them to stop asking me about her, without admitting why. >tho the ones I did were a little more violent in some cases In hindsight I really think that violence, becoming a "bad kid" and just letting go was the missed opportunity to save my self that the universe offered me when I was a kid. There's so much that could've been avoided if I'd just stood up for myself. But my greatest fear starting from the very beginning, before I could even articulate it, was of my mother killing herself. The thing is, she always denied being suicidal but also regularly expressed her hatred of being alive. I didn't fully realize this until I was an adult, but she basically was trying to kill herself all of the time, except she wanted to do so in such a way that she could have plausible deniability regarding whether she did it on purpose or not. This is why she would do unhealthy things (killing herself slowly) or just ridiculously dangerous things, constantly throughout my childhood. This is the root cause of my OCD (which was at its absolute worst during childhood, but still effects me in some ways to this day). I had to devote myself to attempting to control the uncontrollable in order to avoid the looming horror of the worst thing imaginable. If I could do a 'New Game Plus' I would definitely try and spend as little of my childhood with her as possible in order to develop my self around people who aren't nerve-wrackingly and unpredictably insane.

Can anyone please read my energy. Im vibrating very low right now due to physical stress ( i got in a fight 5 hours ago and nearly died being put on a chokehold) i cant sleep please help GODS please

>>6890 The energies of the board are quite chaotic currently. It is hard to offer a proper reading. Play videogames or talk to someone you love or trust. Your current state is the after effects of the adrenaline rush. Once you tire yourself out and calm down you will sleep like a baby. That is all I can say now

>>6845 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf1SQzrYDMM >>6851 I need said reality warping psychic powers to resurrect and retain spring tenson in my '64 romanian AK's trigger spring, and to invoke entities to enhance reliability, accuracy, and function of my rifles because I'm not who >>6823 thinks I am. >Are your relatives immortal all benevolent beings that will take care of you forever? They will either kick you out one day or die if you don't kick the bucket before them. Once they die you are at the mercy of the elements. See, hispanic/asian catholic instillation of values into a mixed race autistic child leads to some rather gnarly results, and even I knew how insufferably clingy, needy, annoying, irrational, and just plain bullshit female irrationality is, and how much scarier it is backed by male authority. >Learn to hunt and forage instead of forcing others to consume military grade goyslop. Returning to nature is not the same as playing Tarkov IRL. Oh I'm sorry you're a pedantic little pissant, anon, but I didn't know manifesting camping/survival gear, military grade goyslop, cheap and robust sturmgewehrs, all branching from the same magickal root of forming and preserving decentralized networks of interdependent communities with the ultimate goal of self-actualization was so verboten to you.

Can someone please read my energy. Idk how this stuff works so you got my conscent i guess. Do i need to talk about my life choices so it can be read that way?

>>6911 You didn't ask for anything in specific, but maybe that's better. I'll do this because I looked at you and effortlessly saw an energy form. I'll just describe it. >pic The top is the surface which I will assume to be the human 3D plane or another plane of enlightenment which you are aiming for. The image doesn't tell which which plane it actually is, so I'll simply call it the "goal plane". Below is some kind of misty, smoky energy which encases you in the plane you currently are. There is a white semi circle of toxic energy around you, but it isn't necessarily bad, it may be "original matter", also called "nectar of the gods", Ambrosia. This material is too pure for anything of ordinary quality, causing it to seem toxic, anyone touching it will dissolve as if it was acid. It has some quality of this kind, but it may also be really bad material which is dissolving and returning to original material, it's hard to tell. It can be seen as a chemical process of disintegration. Inside is your current location. The small black shape represents your life energy and how it angles across a corner, which means it's connecting two dimensions, two planes. The black energy is likely karma, or debt, combined with gravity. The red energy is not visible at first, but does exist, this should be your life force and what you have achieved through personal effort. It's keeping your negative energy in check. Your current path seems to connect around this corner, which may indicate a change of direction in your life, and it's reaching downwards on the other side. I can't tell if you will do best to continue on this road in this direction, or if you would do better to move back and solidify your roots. I do think however, that you should look back at the original course, before you made this turn, and focus on that base instead of where you are currently moving. This direction will not change, as it's "moving downward", so I would recommend reconnecting your roots instead, that connection weakening is a more likely problem than losing your current direction.

>>6916 Thanks for the reading. I think i need to do some solid purification/transformation/transmutation of my soul to access the ambrosia which i just call the higher self. I have many doubts, problems and vices which need to be properly cleansed before attempting any serious effort. I dont understand what you meant exactly about by "connecting to your roots" it can mean many things from reconnecting to your actual physical cultural roots or accessing your true self aka the inner child aka the heart chakra. I also cant fathom how you can read my energy and draw a map out of that. How can you access my aetheric self just from my post? I need to do some serious efforts but unfortunately am stressed about mundane life as i have exams this semester. Maybe meditation will help.

>>6950 I just see an image, and after years of this, I've learned how to relate the colours and shapes to various meanings. It's a kind of channelling, where I can associate energy to words. Interpret what I said in whatever way you feel is relevant to you. I don't know a specific way to interpret it.

Through invocation of Saturn and Pluto audio-thaumaturgy, I've successfully conceived a HOI4-style sigil to conjoin my Saturn, Venus, Chiron, Lilith, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, and Selene to 17942 White Rabbit: https://markandrewholmes.com/whiterabbit.html >>6916 Would you like to help me legalize assault weapons worldwide to put Diane Feinstein, Chabad Lubavitch, Mossad and Israel into an early grave? Go look at the chosenites behind gun bans.

>>6956 I would like to help you in your goal to legalize assault weapons world wide. I too hate the Jews. That being said I am a perpetual neophyte, so could you make a similar for the legalizing of assault weapons worldwide that I can stare at to give energy? Also can I power the sigil with incense cones when I’m bored of looking at it? Also I think it it cool that you made a signal with the aesthetic of hearts of iron 4, but I also think it would be cool if you made a sigil with the aesthetic of crusader kings 2. I recently got the achievement for reforming the Germanic faith in crusader kings 2 for the first time.

>>6956 >>6958 Btw I am not the smiley poster you were responding to I am the neophyte smiley poster.

>>6958 Certainly, although my internal perception of time, place, grounding, and even my memories from February 13th to March 4th 2024 are practically gone. The sweet, loving, nurturing, adorable, soft anthropomorphic critters in my heart aren't there, and it deeply saddens me. I will pay you upfront with a quick and dirty tutorial on how I made a sigil with literally a few photoshop layer filters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8yGoFHvVic Skip to 2:53 or 10:10 in the video to get to the point, try and bear with this midwit's articulation as you digest his information. Alternatively, youtube "TNO GFX Icon Tutorial" to see how they do it, and you'll develop spontaneous ideation to plagiarize CK2 to your desire!

>>6956 >Would you like to help me legalize assault weapons worldwide to put Diane Feinstein, Chabad Lubavitch, Mossad and Israel into an early grave? Go look at the chosenites behind gun bans. Sorry, this is the wrong method, it would only lead to Iraqi style violence with gangs, and serve as a motivation to impose military cuck-rule instead. You won't be fighting Mossad and Israel with AKs, this idea sounds like it was planted by them. Teach people to be peaceful instead, and then arrest the Jews for being warmongers.

>>6962 >arrest the Jews for being warmongers [if they aren't peaceful]

>>6960 Thanks. Will you please make the sigil that will manifest your desire to legalize assault weapons worldwide and post it here? I am a clueless neophyte so I would prefer if you made the sigil to manifest your desires and post it here so I can help activate it. Also it would be nice if you make your sigil into a form I can print on a piece of paper so I can print it out to pray to it easier. Is the sigil the one you already posted that looks like a hoi4 focus or have you not made it yet?

>>6823 Smileberg had no appreciation for softcore anthropomorphic cheesecake smutta nor was he a /k/ommando gun autist like I am, ergo I can do what he did better by learning from his mistakes and ripping a page from their MKULTRA playbook by popularizing our knowledge on the government, secret societies, etc. amongst normalfags, resurrecting /32/ on here, and even going as far as to manifesting initiative, generosity and virtue within the american boomer gun salesman by selling our generations their cool 20th century guns at prices we can afford by selling our temporal insights to them in a way so as to get them to realize they've been scammed by the Schofield bible into sucking Israel off, and selling to millennial and Gen Z gun autists who are genuinely interested in firearms, and God help you if you so much as posit the democratic psyop of "muh mass shooter loophole" that I've been lectured, stigmatized, and practically persecuted by the morally scrupulous, emotionally overactive proto-woke, glorified public babysitters known as female american public school teachers in Jew Nersey. >>6824 >What you need in a post-apocalypse survival scenario is a full cycle farming system. Chickens for eggs, use their droppings to feed fish in tanks (this works), and at the same time grow vegetables in the water. Thank you, that's what I meant to say. Although, for Palestinians, Ukranians, and anti-establishmentarian Russians, they deserve one up psilocybin gummies as well as haoma and shredded acacia confusia for their prayers and amanita muscaria for war, as well as the aforementioned bug out bag apocalyptic survival kits. Don't forget to bully PSA into releasing the 5.56 Sturmgewehr in the MKb 42h model >If you just have prepper storages, those will be confiscated, and they won't work for long anyway. I rebuke this defeatist psyop on the grounds of inhuman ingenuity and communal magnanimity. You treat human authorities as the literal manifestation of God's judgement whom are infinitely beyond reproach no matter what you—an individual nor a community—do, and I passionately despise this train of thought alongst the cynical defeatism underscoring or highlighting it. >>6958 If you can help me manifest said desires posted herein >>6822 as well as help me unfuck or improve my natal chart, I'll be very grateful. Take this as down payment, and thumb not your nose at it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT9HsoqhReo

>>6969 >resurrecting /32/ on here Have you started on that project at all? A while ago I thought of doing it myself but figured any stragglers could just come to /fringe/ btw you must have been a literal child browsing that board because I was still underageb& when it was active and you're quite a bit younger

>>6970 What was /32/ about again? I know I heard about it long ago but I have no idea what it was about it and how long it lasted.

>>6973 "Psychopolitics" or psychological warfare. The BO Snuffles claimed the board name had nothing to do with Freemasonry, but wanted to keep the real meaning secret I never learned the secret. A couple years into /32/'s existence the BO returned after a period of absence and made a suspiciously demoralizing post about how nothing matters any more. It seemed to stay decently active until 8chan as a whole began to fizzle out.

>>6974 >BO returned after a period of absence and made a suspiciously demoralizing post about how nothing matters any more Clear symptoms of losing a psychological warfare. Or at least burning yourself out completely. >8chan as a whole began to fizzle out. 8chan was an energetic quagmire. For too many reasons. You cannot be a niche hobby imageboard and a world changing overambitious hyperegregore at once. Especially not with the amount of retards and degenerates it had. There was a reason why 8chan was a sort of "last resort /fringe/" back then and everyone wanted to make a different fringe as a "proper fringe". >>6969 I hate to say this amigo, but for almost a whole year you showed clear signs that you horrendously suck at psychological warfare of any kind. In normal cases I would say that make your own thread and do the /32/ meem magic you desire so much but you are an inch away from returning into that hysterical rage fueled desperation and self loathing you were while posting on fringe so far. You barely dominate your own psyche and your own house and you want to engage in cross continental psychological warfare in the current absolutely chaotic geopolitical landscape. You are not comprehending how many PSIOPS are running constantly around the globe and how many of them are being shot down all the time. With your wish-washed magical thinking you will fall into extreme delusions and depression within a minute. You are trying to Naruto run into a high speed traffic blindfolded. This is not a demoralization attempt from me. This is a call for awareness. This is a warning for you to notice the weight of your undertaking. What you are trying to do requires extreme levels of mental strength that you clearly lack. You managed to regain your sanity just weeks ago. Don't throw it away again. The amount of people that are willing to help you to get back your sanity if you lose it again is dwindling every day. >>6962 >this idea sounds like it was planted by them. This btw. This is how they engineer Eliot Rodgers.

>>6969 >If you can help me manifest said desires posted herein as well as help me unfuck or improve my natal chart, I'll be very grateful. Take this as down payment, and thumb not your nose at it. I'm sorry but i Don't know how to do that. What I said was just that if you make a sigil to legalize assault weapons worldwide I would stare at it and light incense on it. All the sigils I've made have been failures. I'm just as much a neophyte as you, if not more. Sorry if this was a huge letdown. I love your stg44's by the way

>>6986 Nonsense dear friend, we've sigilengine.com for that! Would highly recommend King Seth 9951 Aka Onega due to the sheer depth, work, and passion he imbues each and every last project he makes. Have a sample of his work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT9HsoqhReo Here's my astrological chart from Astrodienst, attempting to optimize my chart and vitae so as to make for the optimal rifleman on a budget. I'm not purchasing expensive gear like NODs, suppressors, armor plates, etc.

Oh and btw about manifesting guns or whatever, I think the request had a certain (((coincidental))) feel to it, thinking about how I've confiscated a large number of handheld firearms when sending my servitors to raid various tunnels. Where possible, I've been sending them to to places where they can cause a mess that serves my goals. Most of them are however of NATO standard and although firearms are still useful, it's not ideal to give them to groups who normally use soviet bloc standards. It may risk reducing their effectiveness a la Ukraine, where a mess of incompatible standards have been been delivered. Moreover, I don't see them as very useful to begin with. I've rarely used guns at all for my servitors, a knife does the job most of the time. In the case of very strong robots, shooting them doesn't have any effect, a simple touch of lightning magic from the hand will deal with those. Guns are more of a hobby thing in most occult situations, they only gain real usefulness if combined with magic, or if carefully distributed in the right places. As for humans shooting each other, sure, it has a shock value if done in places where shooting doesn't normally take place. But in war, 80 - 90% of the kills come from artillery. There's this idea that you can run around in SWAT style and take out "high value targets" and be a hero. That's just propaganda for creating a heroism mentality. Real wars aren't won that way. You need to be able to fire barrages of large explosive shells, and that takes an industrial production line behind it. Not some BDU-wearing tards with canned food and saved up bullets in a shed. What Hamas is doing it going for propaganda victory, it's all PSYOPS. They have no way of defeating Israel with weapons, but they can undermine the support for them world wide, and bleed them out economically over the time of a few generations, meanwhile, muslim populations in every country will outbreed the locals, and they will have already planted the seed of opposition against Israel among the young generation right now. So when local muslims later bring it up, they will gain support, and that's how Israel dies, in a time range up to 1, 2 or 3 generations from now.

>>6956 Is that your website?

>>7039 Not at all, but it's something to teethe my autism on after I've long since eschewed the need for binging youtube goyslop. I miss my inner ADHD artist child whose spontaneity and creativity always had something new to bring to the table, who gave nary a fuck for any genuine criticism and would simply be. I'll jailbreak him so we can steal inspiration from Youtube Poop, smileberg, and all other forms of derivative plunderphonic artistry to avenge my former drawfag of an inner child and the heartbreaking betrayal he experienced at the hearts of other female artists his heart set upon. >>7020 >I think the request had a certain (((coincidental))) feel to it, I'm trying to use magick to wrangle Kalashnicarver into producing balashnikov handguards for my AKs imbued with my sigil >So when local muslims later bring it up, they will gain support, and that's how Israel dies, in a time range up to 1, 2 or 3 generations from now. Accelerate that process with a litany of drugs of all types. Israel and world jewry, for all of their sins, deserve to be reduced into nothing more than a glorified micro-Seattle with all of their small arms and weaponry distributed to the sexiest, most adorable shortstacks the world over with bodytypes depicted in this here audio potion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=569m7gllv_A

>>7068 >trying to use magick to wrangle Kalashnicarver into producing balashnikov handguards for my AKs imbued with my sigil So basically it's about their long backlog? I think that can be fixed.

I've detected a large dark blue entity surrounding my computer desk. This entity appears to be of a sickly vibration, and appears to be roughly 10ft across, 6ft tall, and 3 feet wide, according to my new astral senses. The entity also has a large eye that's maybe 1.5 feet long. In case it matters, I had an evil eye ward hanging on the wall next to my computer desk that my brother got me for Christmas after he'd found out that I was into spirituality. About an hour ago, I took the physical ward and re-hung it up in my kitchen, but I think I still feel the entity near my computer. Would one of you check to see if this is the entity attached to the ward, or a different entity? If the entity isn't hostile, then would you ask the entity why the entity appears to possess a sickly vibration? Since this is me asking, I'll add that this entity really does not feel like a Sonic egregore; I'd know by the feeling if it is.

>>7079 There is an organized astral attack going on right now, probably aimed at the board egregore overall, so it may touch anyone here. Can't say more than that I see people in suits behind it.

>>7113 No, someone just went on an hours-long spergout after they saw radical islam and replacement migration getting criticized. People disagreeing with you isn't an "organized astral attack".

>>7116 Please don't tell me you're trying to hex the guy with the NEET flag right now just because he had the audacity to question your worldview.

>>7118 Hexing people for disagreeing with you is the height of petty narcissistic Evil. You need to shape up, this is shameful.

>>7079 >>7113 This is the non-harmful activation of their sigil found at their HQ. Seeing this, will mitigate anything bad they were trying to do here.

>>7119 I didnt need to be hexed. Hitler himself would have agreed with me.even seeing my past actions i cant see whats wrong. Naturally the least degenerated europeans would try and fight.i wasmt lying when its the gays and feminist that accepted these kinds of things first. This is just...sad.

>>7123 I remember back in the vamo thread they said we should take control of pur countires or region. Now its a different narrative. Somehow im the bad guy for not seeing this change coming.

>>7123 >>7124 I didn't hex you. Why would I, it was just a discussion. If you were hexed, it was NPC anon above.

>>7126 >Why would I Because you just said that you viewed his and my disagreement with you as an "organized astral attack" and then made a vague statement of assent when I asked you directly if you were trying to hex him. Come on, man. You're just embarrassing yourself at this point.

>>7126 Im definitely being assailed by a strong energy. Cant tell who it is exactly.

>>7129 Me too, and it's still the same group referred to here: >>7122 They're very weak now compared to before. I'm not going to reply to their NPC anymore, they're using it to create trouble here. I was only referring to it when I said disagreements are an astral attack, because they are using it as a tool, same as other did previously.

>>7129 Exact same thing I get from him when he thinks I'm a glowie. Try grounding the energies into this: >>7120 (5472) It's meant to be a siphon for the negative energies he may try to channel at posters here. I can deal with them and transmute them perfectly fine but that not be the case for other people on /fringe/.

>>7130 What does the energy feel like?

>>7132 Seems like its stopping. Or atleast lessening.

>>7132 Intrusive, like a zombie column slowly moving forward trying to make a breakthrough into my mind and body. That's the negative form of the "exodus" of the sigil. I already contained the entire egregore of that cult back before inside a dimension I control, that's why they are trying to break through now. Because they are upset over Islam, I'm using avatars to force sharia on them in their own plane. They and anyone else need to learn not to attack me, or I will intentionally expose them the things they hate the most to humiliate them. They're lowly scum and need to learn to obey whoever is stronger than them.

>>7134 Im also using that anons sigil. Idk who is right here but in the end im not gonna be defeated here. So whoever it is will learn to leave me be. The energy almost feels sexual in nature. Very pure and hot and cold. In line what id imagine yours feels like. Also its stronger than anyone on fringe has given me. If its this group theyll give up.

>>7130 Basically you think that these "groups" are overtly possessing people you're talking with online, and you use this to justify launching violent magical attacks against them, using the logic that you're "just exorcising them". You're unable to comprehend the possibility that people may actually be disagreeing with you for legitimate reasons. The moment someone challenges your worldview you have a kneejerk reaction to immediately dehumanize and attack them with violent energies. It's classic shadow projection, but the various low-level trickster spirits you've attached yourself to have inspired such a degree of singleminded zealotry in you that you're unwilling to recognize this. I've lost track of how many times you've made a war propaganda like "announcement" that you've finally finished "purging the scum", only for you to come back the next day saying something about how there are "still some in hiding" and then just forgetting about your supposed complete victory entirely as you continue projecting this delusion onto everyone else around you. It's just an excuse to justify you hurting people in defense of your dogma.

>>7135 >Very pure and hot and cold Yeah, exactly this. Like an unnatural adrenaline rush? I get a nice cool tingling over my scalp when I successfully transmute and ground it out.

>>7135 That sigil represents a very negative form of the same cult method. It won't matter if you stare at it, because I already destroyed and took over their main chapter. They have one branch left behind, which they are still attacking from. I'm dealing with it right now. The NPC will stop posting when I'm done.

>>7138 You don't understand the mechanism it's using, you've diverted to wrestling with your own shadow again. This is actually the intended effect.

>>7134 In the case it is you. Im mpstly interested in if ot could be prevented. My mindset is if you wpuld have attacked me regardless then its a fact. No point in lamenting it. If it opuld have been prevented then id need to learn what is causing it. This might open me for attack further but it needs to be cleared up. When you used a spell to remove racism did that included towards what you likely perceived to be ypur own race? Which at the tike was likely white people. Ask astra if it includes whites as well. If it matters. Its the principle of "pulling evrybody else up is the same as pulljng one down" im getting at here. Like affirmative action.

>>7140 I don't "attack" anyone ever. This is a misunderstanding by the evil beings. I only use things based off what I learned in Falun Gong, which is to never use negative energy, and if there are very evil beings causing trouble, to reverse their own karma back to them. That is the principle behind all weapons I create. They may react with "this won't work, it feel good" etc, well of course it does, it's pure and it's removing dirt by external force. Only the unsalvageable or very negative beings will feel it as negative, because the aim is to save as many as possible. "Racism" was directly objected to in FG also, because it's against the buddhist "saving all beings" principle. "My race" is categorized as "demon", which is a branch of "orc", same as the main population of Russia. I have ancestry in the region, even if I don't live there. There are also blacks in Africa who are a branch of the same race tree, so skin colour cannot be used as a determining factor at all. "White" people is nothing out of context. In my context, it would mean "the branch of the race which has white skin, compared to the branch of the same race which has dark skin."

>>7141 Yes,but even if europeans are a mix of things that doesnt mean the anti racism spell couldnt have tilted things when cast on yourself.especially since back then you didnt know all of this so those concepts wouldnt have been used. All i want is for astra to check and in the case im right make it universal (or dont).

>>7142 Meaning since whites define racism in a way that only applies to treating OTHER "races" without being discriminatory and ypu mad the spell way back when. Its possible it tilted ypu to become vastly more irritated by europeans. Why?create it would create a funnnel effect. All annoyance on other races would be diverted to them.