>>147211
[Hitman]
Drawbacks: Nothing Short Of Perfection, No Sudden Moves, Old Dog, Old Tricks, Science of the Apocalypse, Practice Makes Perfect (2200)
Providence (2000)
Blood (1900)
Sociopath (Free)
Flag Salesman (Free)
One Size Fits All (Free)
Easter Eggs (Free)
Basic Training (Free)
Polyglot (Free)
We Won A Long Time Ago (Free)
The Hidden Hand (1800)
Kingmaker (1600)
One Of The Good Ones (Free)
Too Big To Fail (1300)
This Is Just Maintenance (1000)
Saving A SeatX3 (500)
Meeting Room (Free)
Insignia (Free)
The Timeless Look (Free)
The Hitman Collection (Free)
Out Of Site, Out Of Mind (Free)
Interdimensional Assassin Wanted By Police (Free)
Absurdly Good Muffins (+200, 650)
Upstart: Providence (400)
Upstart: The Agency (100)
ContactsX2: (0)
-Drawbacks: Science of the Apocalypse, Old Dog, Old Tricks, A Closet For Every Skeleton (1200)
-Providence, Blood (900)
-Sociopath (Free), Flag Salesman (Free), One Size Fits All (Free), Easter Eggs (Free), Basic Training (Free), Polyglot (Free), Don’t You Know My Father Is? (Free), A Comfy Billionaire Is A Happy Billionaire (Free), Saving A SeatX3 (400), Absurdly Good Muffins (+200, 550), Upstart: Providence (300), Upstart: The Agency (0)
I woke up. I nodded at my collection of biological clones, who were effectively free avatars given my existence transcended the material with slightly different perspectives due to the inferior material composition of them (which were all still resourceful enough to immediately leave whatever nefarious agency they were part of and join me at my luxurious trillionaire pad). As I contemplated a new day as the subjugator of the free world, I purposefully touched a tripwire attached to an implausible contrivance involving my ceiling fan, a nearby chair and the windowsill. Explosives went off around me.
Being a Primordial they didn’t touch me. I waved at Agent 47 as he swivelled in frustration before noclipping through the ceiling.
1/3
Elodie found me and my clone collection sponsoring a second season of Firefly, ruthlessly trimming the middle management fat in corporate to replace standard enshittification with my own brand of efficient bleakness, and telling Larry Fink to figuratively get down on his knees and blow me or retool his funny money fund to sponsor my interests instead of his crude attempt at social engineering. As I made very clear to him that despite seemingly preserving the 90s gung ho, fanservice-heavy, action-packed aesthetic I was ACTUALLY trying to keep the globohomo conspiracy I owned’s bread and services running smoothly to avoid a societal reactionary backlash, I got another damn party invite. Also repeatedly shot, sniped, bombed and pelted with poison darts by Agent 47, who as far as I could determine had been hijacked by my Benefactor and turned into a conceptual manifestation of human efficiency.
I almost felt sorry that it was useless, useless, useless. Then I got another damn party invitation that I quickly turned down.
“No Jeffrey, I’m not coming to your island” I said into the phone, right as Elodie stepped into the room. She gave me her most striking “I don’t even want to know” look as, rolling my eyes, I stared out over my triple function solar-wind-hydro power 5000% ESG quadruple certified installation and contemplated the irony of how much the conventional construction industry had benefited from setting it up. “I already told you: I prefer quality over quantity. That’s why YOU’RE still waiting for Ghislaine to round up the most desperate and destitute bints you can find in your local club, while I’M relaxing at home safe in the knowledge my high value grooming victims have the money and connections to serve me up any celebrity I want on a platter. Get it? I’m thinking in terms of long term sustainability and value creation WHILE finding unconventional avenues to expand the control of our insidious elitist conspiracy while you’re enduring health problems from alcohol that won’t be scientifically recognised for a few more years because . You’re never getting leverage on me. Oh, and tell Donny his steak is shit”
[Expand Post] “What are you doing?” asked Elodie. “Winning” I said as I hung up and tossed her an incriminating file of evidence. “Jeffrey’s become a liability. He’s all yours”
2/3
Elodie smoothly moved out of the way of a fired rocket. “No I mean, more broadly”
“So did I” I said, waving a hand vaguely at the world. “Look, the Agency’s doomed in a few years and so’s most of the organisation. All I have to do win is sit back, enjoy life and wait for the houses of cards around me to come tumbling down. Then pick up the pieces. By which I mean rebuild Providence into my own personal clan”
“So, the cloning project-“
“Laughable compared to atman-engineering”
“The bioweapon-“
“I achieved complete global saturation a week ago, the entire population’s inoculated. Even the perpetuators, they just don’t know it yet”
“Your…peers?”
“The boomers? Were going to kill each other in a fit of paranoia despite most of them ACTUALLY being all for a good, honourable transfer of power. Something Jeffrey’s never understood is that virtue can be as much a point of leverage as vice, as long as the target doesn’t have to worry about their next meal. I’ve already gotten them to divert their resources towards global stability thanks to those feel-good happy to have friends among the super elite dopamine rushes. In the meantime, I can keep feeding you elites to expose and cut through red tape to reallocate resources, or I can keep strongarming their intact resources towards perfect efficiency. Your call”
“…and you fucked their nieces and daughters”
“And that too, yes. Jeffrey got one thing right: There’s no better way to shape the future-without mind control-than by dicking it down”
Elodie wrote that down as she carefully ignored my solid gold onsen and my cloned pet smilodon and the giggling barely legal(y obliged to run their inheritances) heiresses with a bright future as the queens of Onlyfans having a pillow fight. “I’ll…have to get back to you on that. Well. What about your assassin?”
“Oh yeah. I suppose I should do something about him, poor guy’s way overstressed” I said as Agent 47 repeatedly shot me in the ear at point black range. I made a call as he reached for assault rifles, then rocket launchers, then just started desperately hitting me. “Sir? Sir, I think this one’s for you” I said, handing it over.
Agent 47 didn’t move a facial muscle as the Agency told him I was no longer his target due to having literally bought the entire damn Agency. But he sagged with relief as he ceased his futile mission to kill me.
3/3
>>147585
Put a giant penny in their doorway, like the one that Batman keeps in his cave long after the Penny Pincher ceased to have all cultural relevance outside a certain youtube channel.
Refuse to explain.
Withhold finances.
>>147595
Yes, significantly. To be quite honest it is completely incomprehensible how Savathun managed to trick it into going in the exact opposite direction given how little of a threat the Traveller posed, how it has remained mobile and how the Witness is used to it continuously running away. I have to assume that given it’s priorities, the evident disruption Oryx’s death causes to the Hive pantheon, and the fact that the Sol Divisive were it’s stooges all along that it HAS to take notice at some point.
It’s just genuinely impossible to determine how long it would take when Oryx’s death alone apparently wasn’t enough to draw down it’s direct intervention. And god only knows what’s going on in the Destiny Rising timeline.