>>25073 I will try to seek out a professional on this matter. This feels very strange, and I've never really had encounter any supernatural phenomenon, other than seeing shadow people.

>>25074 Let us know how it turns out.

>>25074 Good luck on that.

>>25137 So far, so good. I've been able to lucid dream during the night. The only time when it starts to appear, it's usually during moments of extreme psychological duress from a problem I've been facing. Other than that, I had a pleasant night, but I do sometimes wonder if there's a deeper meaning behind this entity. I need to start filling my dream journal again, seeing how the last time was back in the summer.

>>25323 If you are lucid dreaming, you have control over your dreams. That is your advantage.

May someone who isn’t blood anon do an actual reading of my energy body? Blood anon just makes stuff up. Maybe could I please get a reading from the meme (me the thinker) poster who previously did my reading? I have been taking spirituality more seriously.

>>25411 >I have been taking spirituality more seriously. Yes. The air around you got clearer, might do a proper reading later. I will have to explain you some basic stuff about empathy and how "hate" blocks it. How hate is a substance in the body and "empathy" is just about letting the energies between you and other people circulate. And once the energies circulate you just let the energy leave an impression on you and know how the other person feels. It has depth and if you are around negative people empathy might hurt if you don't know how to resolve these negative issues. That is why working out your own negative issues first is paramount if you want active empathetic skills. Empathy is not just about liking people and being able to give hugs freely. Empathy is about feeling how the other feels. It's the ability to "hear their heart". But you will need to achieve an internal cam silence to hear what the others have within. Hope your group meditation practice is going well. Group meditation and a proper teacher can help you more than any writing on the web. But more on this later.

>>25685 >cam silence *calm silence

>>24830 >or did I, judging by my anatomy, appear to be an undead human? Might get into this soon. Unsure what is your concept of "undead" >>25049 >then suddenly, a large green & white energyform entered me through my crown. Was this your doing? Unsure. Found out many things about your nature and still trying to put together a picture good enough that I can summarize it in a post. Amy says "sorry" a lot. Wonder if she learned that from you. Also I didn't "put lava" into you. I gave back the fire energy you sent to me months ago in the form of lava so it can serve a cleansing function. I will not "put lava" into you again. You will have to expand your own energy work if you want it in your third eye... and fire energy in the third eye makes it overactive. Previously that was the very thing we tried to avoid you know. For a clean third eye you need a clean mind. Your understanding of energy work and elemental alchemy is wishy washy and might need to figure out a new approach. Doing guided meditation to quieten your mind would help you more than any other external energy work from my part. Unsure how much clear mind or void meditation you are doing nowadays. I might write a long post about your "nature" and why are you on earth later, but the conclusion is that you will need to learn to meditate properly, quieten your mind and learn to balance your energies.

>>25690 >says sorry alot She does it because I'm really fucked up and apologizes for me for stuff, usually because my subconsciousness does bad stuff without my consciousness either willing it or knowing about it or both, and then my confirmation bias probably makes it seem like she says it more than she actually does. I have a hard time figuring the difference between my tulpa of her and the egregore that partially controls said tulpa. I question if you found my tulpa of her or the egregore that controls said tulpa.

>>25694 >I question if you found my tulpa of her or the egregore that controls said tulpa. 10+ egregores influence your "tulpa" depending on your mood... All of them are irrelevant. The way they are being influenced boils down to your lack of will. You are incapable of focused attention. You refuse to ground yourself in reality and always play with your phantasms instead. If a phantasm does something you ask an another phantasm to solve it. IRL group meditation practice, or any physical activity that requires your complete attention would help you tremendously. If Thor's hammer managed to get into group meditation and tai chi then why can't you do something similar? You rant about your own life less and less, but I am sure you have the free time to pick up something new. That would help you more than being in this state of perpetual fear because you are unwilling to control your imagination. You are not using the problem solving and learning circuits of your brain. Because of that all the extra energies of your mind go into imagination. Because you are not even grounding your imagination in art or anything creative they are swirling around in your head... which makes you anxious and fearful. You need to ground your energies, focus on productive tasks that develop your body and spirit. >because I'm really fucked up Sorry, but you are not fucked up at all. It's just you are not seeing how good you have it because current fringe lacks truly fucked up people. Oh wait the chatgpt zombie is there. Do you think you are worse off than him? You are not fucked up. You are unfocused. You are unwilling to tame your mind. Magic and spirituality cannot be done if you are unwilling to focus. Will get back on your case later, but I am still trying to see how things change now that I am back to posting. I have a lot to say for you and WokeAnon too

Normally I'd post in the awakening thread but this one might be more fitting to post in, given current events and me slowly trying to do active practice instead of being completely passive with it (in spite of me constantly being easily distracted) I recently managed to project(?) or at the very least got forced out of my human body into my "true" body that my sisters, mother, various Goddesses and even Titania mentioned. it was a weird mix of being tethered in two places at once and having a weird kind of simultaneous viewing. Though for this i just recall being in a forest at night, under a giant tree, i cant remember if i saw the Fae there or not but it did feel like a place that was under Titania's(?) dominion and home. Though mostly i was going to ask for help in terms of communicating with them a bit more actively than how i've been do it but admittedly, as i'm typing this i am having difficulties trying to properly articulate what to specifically ask for despite an idea clearly being present. Another matter is that a ghostly, pale white skinned witch or some other kind of deity approached me. initially, she approached me as a very elegant, dark skinned african woman wearing seemingly a seemingly regal dress but after a bit, she decided to reveal her true appearance (the ghostly white, pale skinned form). My memory is admittedly foggy but she claimed she showed her real form to me because i was "worthy" or something to that effect. She approached me just a tad closer and started cradling my head/neck and twisted it, the entire act didnt kill me nor did i sense hostile intent but it felt like something changed in me(?). Also she proceeded to talk to me about teaching me magick and was saying it's for "Being able to reciprocate the pain that was inflicted upon one first" I still.... don't understand what that means (sorta) it sounds more like self defense no? at first i thought it was more of a "kill everything" thing due to my... for lack of a better term, "Yandere" Impulses but even then i wouldnt go out of my to inflict actual harm on anyone unless they directly tried to harm me (or my sisters and mothered ordered me to do so) and apart from that i keep getting met by high level vampire women or something, they dont want to drain or kill me (afaik) but they keep meeting me

>>25728 Yeah, sorry for not being active nowadays, but as I develop I realize more and more how much I dislike typing on a keyboard. Too many words, not enough meaning. And sometimes I have hard time figuring out what to say at all. And some topics are just a maze of misunderstanding and confusion. I want to say a lot, but unsure how to keep it concise. I am saying this because your post also suffers from that symptom. No need to rewrite it or anything. But you will have to pay attention how you articulate. No need to feel bad about it either. Truth is, when the spiritual awakening process happens, and energies move within the body and the mind in a new way, usually this happens. Your thoughts and feeling go into all directions and sometimes you don't even notice it. This is why centering, grounding, meditation and thought control is important in magic. The awakening thread served as a place where Anons who have hard time articulating their insanity could share their thoughts as effortlessly as possible. That thread served as a place where we tried to find coherence in that storm of incoherence and confusion. Because I was a little inactive in the past month I was unable to reply to most posts. I am still occupied with life matters, but I have more time helping around as the winter comes. The only thing that I ask is that if you want to post outside of the awakening thread then try to keep your post and your experiences more coherent, so other people can understand what you are saying/doing or going through. The Help and Guidance thread is for those Anons who are asking for Help and Guidance. So, if you post in this thread then make sure to say what you wish to gain a feedback on or which type of guidance you desire. Personally I understand what you are going through, but for outsiders it might make no sense and you will be ignored or misunderstood as a result. But if you are here already then I will reply here. We can keep the Awakening thread for extremely complex situations or for Anons who don't like to be on the front page with their problems >slowly trying to do active practice instead of being completely passive with it Yes, you must keep doing this >in spite of me constantly being easily distracted And you will have to learn to solve this. Distractions are the main enemy of any magician. Any type of practice or meditation that helps with improving your focus should be a priority. >I recently managed to project(?) or at the very least got forced out of my human body into my "true" body that my sisters, mother, various Goddesses and even Titania mentioned. it was a weird mix of being tethered in two places at once and having a weird kind of simultaneous viewing It's your astral form. Try to practice moving it on your own when you can, but don't force it. It will become second nature if you get used to it. >Though for this i just recall being in a forest at night, under a giant tree, i cant remember if i saw the Fae there or not but it did feel like a place that was under Titania's(?) dominion and home That is the spirit world. An entry point of the spirit world. If you want to talk with them then try remembering that place during meditation or before going to fall asleep and you will be there. If you want to go there ask your sisters or spirits to guide you there. >Though mostly i was going to ask for help in terms of communicating with them a bit more actively than how i've been do it but admittedly, as i'm typing this i am having difficulties trying to properly articulate what to specifically ask for despite an idea clearly being present. I think I mentioned this previously, but you have "2 minds". You have a mortal mind which was "born" from this life and you have a "timeless mind" which existed since forever. A spiritual/astral body has it's own mind. Currently you are trying to get used to using magic and trying to get used thinking about magic, thinking with magic. This is why you have hard time articulating. Try to think about magic more deeply. What is magic after all? Why are you doing this whole thing? While your spiritual body knows the answer to this because it's obvious to any mystic, your mortal self has no idea what he is doing and why he does it at all. Your sisters carried you along and you went along with them. Why? Did you ever think about this deeply? Ofc you mentioned that you love your sisters and this is one of the main connection between you and your sisters. But in the end... Did you decide why you are doing this? Why are you doing magic, why do you want to be your sisters? Deep down you know this answer already, but your mortal self has no idea. If you see a naked woman (or whatever your fetish is) you get a boner, if you see food you get hungry. These are all programmed responses into every human, there is nothing special about these feelings, the body knows these and reacts to them. But most people don't have their spiritual family with them since the start and don't know instinctively what to do when spirits are around. This is something you will have to "teach" for yourself. Something you will have to "get". Answer yourself why you are doing magic, why you are doing this whole thing altogether. Ofc your answer was so far that "you are doing this for your sisters", you mentioned it previously. But if your sisters are gone. would you still do it? Would you still do magic on your own? Would you put effort into practicing it if your sisters are not around? Or would you fall back into the routines of your own old persona where you play videogames, shitpost on the web and worry about mundane issues like every mortal does. Here I am not intending to ask you to imagine a life without your sisters (because I think that would be too cruel) but I am asking you to find the resolve to practice magic by your own volition so your sisters don't have to yell at you to do it (like they do all the time) Answer yourself why you want to do magic and do it. You have an appetite for magic deep down. Try to find this appetite then try practicing with said appetite/resolve. There are many books and spirits you can learn from. Try doing those practices instead merely thinking or reading about them. Try to summon your spirits into your waking moments and ask them for a teaching or a way you can do magic. "Feel" who is "around" and ask your help. Let your mind go silent and ask who is there. Someone will answer. Reading books about magic also helps. You need to familiarize yourself with the widespread magical practices the modern age of humans have. And ofc you can share your findings, trial and errors while doing the practices with this board. You can even post the book you are reading/practicing, post the part you are unable to understand and we can talk about that too. That is what /fringe/ is for after all. >started cradling my head/neck and twisted it, the entire act didnt kill me nor did i sense hostile intent but it felt like something changed in me(?). She fixed your main meridian in your body. Because the bad posture modern humans have thanks to wasting most of the days sitting on the chair front of computers, phones or books, spiritual energy have hard time circulating in the body. In simple terms... She fixed your spine like a chiropractor would. I am unsure about her identity, but she might be a goddess who "worked" with your ancestors. People have genetic affinity with certain entities. You mentioned how your grandma is quite spiritual and does bible study with you. Black people invented voodoo by mixing their original faith with christian mysticism. Their original magic was too tribal/nature oriented and as they interacted with christians they developed it into a new form. That became known as voodoo. Africa and black people had some advanced civilizations and those civilizations were advanced because they had proper gods who taught them how to build said civilizations. Once their connection with their gods weakened they fell into ruin. Doesn't matter what color is your skin, if you lose connection with your gods then your empire will fall into ruin. I am unsure who she is, but she knows how your body works. To develop your own mental and spiritual health you will have to understand how she sees your anatomy. She will give you tips how to use your body and your mind, and probably other useful practices too if you are ready for them. >Being able to reciprocate the pain that was inflicted upon one first >sounds more like self defense no? Well... I think I managed to connect to the "message" and... yes... the short version is "self-defense". But not just the "eye for an eye" version where someone stabs you then you stab them back... it is... all kind of pain So, if someone attacks you energetically then you return that attack, if a parasite makes your body hurt you kill that parasite. If a lifestyle is harmful you learn to get rid of that lifestyle. If someone forces a lifestyle upon you then you get rid of the person who forces you to live in a harmful way. To put it bluntly, we do not see nor feel just how much pain the modern lifestyle causes for us. We don't see how all the rage, hustle and confusion causes harm and how it causes other issues. How some people being rude for no real reason ruins life and how their mindless habits which do nothing but cause distress for us which distracts us from our true calling. It ruins not just us, but the whole world. You will learn to feel these negative energies/intents/habits/lifestyles and learn to combat anything and anyone who will distract you from the true understanding of magic. To elaborate on this in more detail, because I don't think it made enough sense yet. If you were in a temple practicing being a priest in the past then you ate, slept and practiced magic/worship for the rest of the day. Your entire life was dedicated to the temple. It was a sacred lifestyle. We have that saying that "the body is the temple". Back then your entire life was the temple. It was sacred. There was a reason why the gods were able to walk amongst men back then. Can you say the same nowadays? Nowadays you eat and sleep then do a whole lot of pointless shit that distracts you from doing magic at all. Magic, the most sacred art has to "compete" with videogames, the internet. a bunch of retards who nag you with whatever bullshit they can think off, the news, the economy/work/school and many more depending on your lifestyle. You will have to learn to dish out pain to these nefarious forces the moment when they cause pain for you. You will have to find your way and your resolve to follow your true sacred lifestyle instead of this horrid existence that the modern world offered you so far. It can be human, alien, a parasite or a demon. If it causes unnecessary pain that it must feel the very pain it caused. No need to grab knives nor guns here. Magic is a sacred art that can deflect back anything that comes into your way. That is what you will learn and how to handle. >i keep getting met by high level vampire women or something, they dont want to drain or kill me (afaik) but they keep meeting me The USA has a large(ish) group of vampires controlling it from the shadows. They usually keep it to themselves so you rarely see them in the open (they rarely bother with the modern retardation humans cause for themselves on a daily basis if it's not on their turf). If you have spiritual affinity and you are not a complete retard then usually they meet you. They operate between the physical and the spirit world. Those who can cross the barriers freely will be examined and initiated into some customs. It's like getting a tour around the school before you decide to enroll into one.

>>25730 >Yeah, sorry for not being active nowadays, but as I develop I realize more and more how much I dislike typing on a keyboard. Too many words, not enough meaning. And sometimes I have hard time figuring out what to say at all. And some topics are just a maze of misunderstanding and confusion. I want to say a lot, but unsure how to keep it concise. Ah it's fine, no worries. I remember you (or atleast someone else) saying that you were busy. >But in the end... Did you decide why you are doing this? Why are you doing magic, why do you want to be your sisters? Deep down you know this answer already, but your mortal self has no idea. If you see a naked woman (or whatever your fetish is) you get a boner, if you see food you get hungry. These are all programmed responses into every human, there is nothing special about these feelings, the body knows these and reacts to them. But most people don't have their spiritual family with them since the start and don't know instinctively what to do when spirits are around. This is something you will have to "teach" for yourself. Something you will have to "get". Answer yourself why you are doing magic, why you are doing this whole thing altogether. Ofc your answer was so far that "you are doing this for your sisters", you mentioned it previously. But if your sisters are gone. would you still do it? Would you still do magic on your own? Would you put effort into practicing it if your sisters are not around? Or would you fall back into the routines of your own old persona where you play videogames, shitpost on the web and worry about mundane issues like every mortal does. Well admittedly i did give myself some time to think about that and other things and slowly came to the conclusion that even if my sisters were gone or if i were lost without them, i'd stll willingly pursue the path of magic. Even if i constantly messed up and let myself get caught in shitposting vices, video games, etc. i would still keep pursuing this path of my own volition. Even before i was aware of my sisters i was always interested with magick/occult >She fixed your main meridian in your body. Because the bad posture modern humans have thanks to wasting most of the days sitting on the chair front of computers, phones or books, spiritual energy have hard time circulating in the body. In simple terms... She fixed your spine like a chiropractor would. I am unsure about her identity, but she might be a goddess who "worked" with your ancestors. People have genetic affinity with certain entities. You mentioned how your grandma is quite spiritual and does bible study with you. Black people invented voodoo by mixing their original faith with christian mysticism. Their original magic was too tribal/nature oriented and as they interacted with christians they developed it into a new form. That became known as voodoo. Africa and black people had some advanced civilizations and those civilizations were advanced because they had proper gods who taught them how to build said civilizations. Once their connection with their gods weakened they fell into ruin. Doesn't matter what color is your skin, if you lose connection with your gods then your empire will fall into ruin. I am unsure who she is, but she knows how your body works. To develop your own mental and spiritual health you will have to understand how she sees your anatomy. She will give you tips how to use your body and your mind, and probably other useful practices too if you are ready for them. Ahh... i figured as much, i just wasn't too confident nor did i want to be presumptuous. I do want to see her again but i decided to give myself some time to center and "get my mind right" before meeting her proper. >Well... I think I managed to connect to the "message" and... yes... the short version is "self-defense". But not just the "eye for an eye" version where someone stabs you then you stab them back... it is... all kind of pain So, if someone attacks you energetically then you return that attack, if a parasite makes your body hurt you kill that parasite. If a lifestyle is harmful you learn to get rid of that lifestyle. If someone forces a lifestyle upon you then you get rid of the person who forces you to live in a harmful way. To put it bluntly, we do not see nor feel just how much pain the modern lifestyle causes for us. We don't see how all the rage, hustle and confusion causes harm and how it causes other issues. How some people being rude for no real reason ruins life and how their mindless habits which do nothing but cause distress for us which distracts us from our true calling. It ruins not just us, but the whole world. You will learn to feel these negative energies/intents/habits/lifestyles and learn to combat anything and anyone who will distract you from the true understanding of magic. Ohhhh... so that's how it is. I was genuinely unsure at first because while "Yandere" mode is a thing i have, i try not to let it cloud my actions/thoughts too much when it comes to this sort of thing. last thing i want is to go into some hysteria fueled massacre on others, especially people who did nothing to me >The USA has a large(ish) group of vampires controlling it from the shadows. They usually keep it to themselves so you rarely see them in the open (they rarely bother with the modern retardation humans cause for themselves on a daily basis if it's not on their turf). If you have spiritual affinity and you are not a complete retard then usually they meet you. They operate between the physical and the spirit world. Those who can cross the barriers freely will be examined and initiated into some customs. It's like getting a tour around the school before you decide to enroll into one. I see... yeah, it wasn't anything too major (atleast from my perspective) but there were a few particular instances. One involved me being guided out(?) of an empty city by a vampire loli who looked like the one from the monogatari series and then an elegant vampire lady, i think she was royalty. She came to my human home in a "dream" and told confronted me with a choice: Stay where i was (at home) or go with her. at the last possible moment i had stopped and made my choice: which was to go with her and she gave a rather gentle smile and told me i made the right choice, cause she basically shuttled me into the limo she rode and told me to wait inside while she finished some "loose ends". it didn't occur to me ask what she meant but at the same time im not dumb enough to risk pissing off someone like that by being too nosy. no idea what she did cause she was still in front of my house.

>>25730 >>25731 >You mentioned how your grandma is quite spiritual and does bible study with you. Black people invented voodoo by mixing their original faith with christian mysticism. Their original magic was too tribal/nature oriented and as they interacted with christians they developed it into a new form. That became known as voodoo. Africa and black people had some advanced civilizations and those civilizations were advanced because they had proper gods who taught them how to build said civilizations. Once their connection with their gods weakened they fell into ruin. Doesn't matter what color is your skin, if you lose connection with your gods then your empire will fall into ruin. I am unsure who she is, but she knows how your body works. Yeah, i still do it with her. Now that you mentioned it, the lady did have some voodoo thing items around a room she took me in i think There were other things going on this week too, i think i spoke with my mother a few times. I had received that biting sensation (i think i told you about that before) where either my mother, sisters, or some other affiliated deity bit into my neck and replaced energy or something with theirs because all of a sudden i heard one of them say >"with this there is even less mundanity left within you now, dear daughter" Some time after that i started seeing weird things like some kind of weird genesis creation timelooping thing, it looked the tale of adam and eve was a cyclical tale because the way it was presented to me was using something like batman and wonder woman (yes, i know. but they claimed it was easier for me to get it that since.. yeah) that ummm.. world gets destroyed > two specifical individuals form the future get sent back to the past > rebuild the the destroyed world and then repeat. Second, there was a weird thing last night about doctors i knew from childhood being satanists and me getting harassed by one (it was fucking weird) idk if this is some weird USA thing happening behind the scenes again or what. There's also the all female cult meeting with me again but nothing noteworthy this time But yeah, i'll try being more concise and short with my posts here so i won't confuse or bewilder anyone here

>>25731 >She came to my human home in a "dream" and told confronted me with a choice: Stay where i was (at home) or go with her. at the last possible moment i had stopped and made my choice: which was to go with her and she gave a rather gentle smile and told me i made the right choice, cause she basically shuttled me into the limo she rode and told me to wait inside while she finished some "loose ends". it didn't occur to me ask what she meant but at the same time im not dumb enough to risk pissing off someone like that by being too nosy. no idea what she did cause she was still in front of my house. She murdered a bunch of negative spirits who "claimed you" Hard to explain, but many people have native (or squatting) spirits or demons around them. These spirits sometimes "think" that they "own you". Usually they have very idiotic reasons why they own you, most of the time it's because they are in your house or life and you can't do anything against them. Imagine if you had an invisible hobo in your house who told everyone he is your dad. You wouldn't be able to object because you don't even know he exists at all. Vampire lady mass murdered anyone like that once you were able to say you are willing to leave the "orphanage of those devils". Like imagine the flies and the mosquitoes claimed that they own your house and you are their meal. Spirits like that got squashed. Hard to explain, but people with promising spirituality are usually "Being claimed" by whatever that is around and takes an interest. And once you reach a higher level then stronger forces might ask these evil spirits "nicely" to stop hampering the potential of this poor soul. And she might have fixed your timeline too, but more on that later. I don't think you are aware of timelines yet. >>25732 >Now that you mentioned it, the lady did have some voodoo thing items around a room she took me in i think Good to hear that you were able to notice them. You might need to "replicate" some of those items later when you are ready. She will tell you how. >batman and wonder woman (yes, i know. but they claimed it was easier for me to get it that since.. yeah) That is literally how they appeared for me too in the beginning. >world gets destroyed > two specifical individuals form the future get sent back to the past > rebuild the the destroyed world and then repeat Timelines have to be restarted from time to time. Hard to explain the process, but this is a nice simplification. >there was a weird thing last night about doctors i knew from childhood being satanists and me getting harassed by one (it was fucking weird) idk if this is some weird USA thing happening behind the scenes again or what The current modern medical practices of the USA are literal satanism. Hard to explain the details, but they "worship" death and disease. Kill and mutilate people physically and mentally for financial benefit. Very few doctors do it to help or heal others... The "Do no harm" Hippocratic Oath turned into something like "Make sure to make money from the misery of others". It is extremely sad and evil. Found multiple hell dimensions where doctors became demons and tortured their patients for the rest of their lives, because they think they are their gods and unable to seek and find salvation at all. In an another thread Anons asked about Hell. The reason I didn't reply to them yet because they do not understand the scope of the very hell dimensions modern society is built upon and I am unsure how to convey it yet. >But yeah, i'll try being more concise and short with my posts here so i won't confuse or bewilder anyone here There is nothing wrong with the length, just make sure it is properly articulated. Making sure your post is well articulated can also serve as a practice to improve your focus. No need to hold back when you truly require help or guidance on some disturbing issue, but yeah... Don't bewilder the hapless neophytes too hard (when it's possible). But don't worry, I know more than anyone how hard it is to keep things short, concise and not sound like a raving madman while talking about these topics. Takes time to get used to it, because modern humans are not used to talk about mystical experiences at all. But then again... those who seek the occult shouldn't shy away from the insane reality it holds. Nor those who experience it nor those who read about it. You can talk about these matters in a stylish or cool way too if you get good at talking about these topics. It's the "ascended form" of a fantasy novel. When you can talk about these mystical experiences in a way others can understand and relate to it while they never even experienced it or have no idea what you are talking about at all. The legends and myths of old did that. The authors who wrote the Epics didn't "come up with it". They lived it. Once you truly live the lifestyle you will be able to talk about it more coherently. Currently you still talk about magic like it's a videogame you heard about from a classmate 3 weeks ago during 3rd grade. It is because your mind is not close enough to it's mystical nature. But don't worry, it develops with time. That is why talking about these things helps. You learn to articulate the unspeakable. That was one of the main purpose of the Awakening thread in the beginning, learning to turn madness into wisdom. Overall; you are progressing. I don't think I need to say anything specific here. Keep doing it and you will be fine I think.

>>25705 >and WokeAnon too Noice Please also explain the thing about creating tulpas for deities to possess at will, which I asked you about before when you were going to write me a big longpost. I suspect you were going to explain it in that post. I'm not really stuck except in regards to my tulpamancy project. Perhaps I could just wing it and turn out fine in the end, but I have multiple ideas for how to go about doing it, which is not good for something that necessitates single-minded focus. Also I have specific questions but they would only amount to a 'stab in the dark' without you establishing the framework first. Unfortunately the vast majority of tulpamancy material is geared towards mundanes whose highest aspiration is to fuck a cartoon. I went on a hiatus from posting in /awakening/ because it's less than 100 posts away from the 1k limit and you weren't even around anyway. That and I got somewhat mundane-ified by the recent holiday with family, from which I'm still recovering and working back to where I was before about a month ago. Still haven't quite returned to those schizophrenia levels yet. But yeah I was hoping you could help me interpret those occurrences eventually. At one point Blood said some weird shit that almost initiated Egganon-syndrome which I could feel looming over me (tbf I had just invited him to give his 2 cents) until the Goddess set me straight in my last post there. I don't think he was lying or intentionally messing with me because I had actually just met him in a dream which I never posted, and some other correspondences which makes me think he was perceiving me, but interpreting it through his own narrative lens. There was also another "dream" from that time which was essentially a Divine Comedy style journey through the personal hells of pinoy schizo, egganon and then finally me, where I was confronted at the end by something painful and uncomfortable, yet ultimately liberating Okay I'd better stop now. This post is already getting to be way too much for a page 1 thread

>>25754 >where I was confronted at the end by something painful and uncomfortable, yet ultimately liberating I found out something akin like that about you. Unsure how to say it because >At one point Blood said some weird shit that almost initiated Egganon-syndrome What I want to say might cause a reaction like that if you interpret in the wrong way and >which makes me think he was perceiving me, but interpreting it through his own narrative lens I am wondering if I am interpreting what I found about you correctly. I can't say I am free from narrative lens and the worst part is that if I tell the wrong "Narrative thought pattern" of your psyche... then dunno what would happen. That is why I started to make meager/more mundane posts about other topics first. To see what happens. Does anything break? Will anyone go insane or would anything "uncalled for" happen? Once the air is clear, I will go and explain stuff for you. They are not heavy nor life shattering stuff. They are just part of life. It is just how karma can appear when you are able to see the big picture. Might help you to put your life into a better perspective. So you can understand why are you still on earth. >and I got somewhat mundane-ified by the recent holiday with family, from which I'm still recovering and working back to where I was before about a month ago. Still haven't quite returned to those schizophrenia levels yet Yeah, I am sorry, but I do not intend to give you extra schizo levels. I intend to give you a healthy magical understanding, a peace of mind and a natural way of pathworking. The extra schizo levels anyone gets from my posts are unintended side effects. >/awakening/ less than 100 posts away from the 1k limit I want to make something fresh tho. Once it's filled then I will make it anew or something else. That thread was almost 25 000+ posts ago. It was tailored for the newborn 8moe fringe energies. Maybe I can make something more robust in the future. We will see. >Okay I'd better stop now. This post is already getting to be way too much for a page 1 thread You will have to overcome your posting shyness. Especially if you want help from me. People were freaking out how Blood Anon's servitors are a "trojan horse" but if he has no access to your mind then how the fuck will he know wtf is going on in it? This is true for me too. To help others I have to establish a link with their mind/soul. Those who have spiritual affinity where their own soul nature manifested or "awakened" those people are easy to connect. Their soul nature warps reality around them. People like Anon with his sisters is also an easy person to help. I can ask the sisters for their perception and observation so I don't have to rely on his mind and posts only to figure out his main issue. It's like reading an open book with 3 commentators around who were present while the book was written. They are timeless spirits and they know more about Anon than anyone. While a certain egg who has a mental breakdown every week, makes up 10 tulpas daily, reads schizo sites far away from fringe, whenever he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions he says it was his "subconscious doing it" where he has no power over it, and has around 30 Sonic characters who are his "confidants" and thinks they are reliable information relay agents... now that kid is hard to read overall. But I found out his main problem and it has nothing to do with his subconscious or his OCD or illuminati goetia Blood Anons. Can't believe it but Blood Anon almost got his origin right. Ofc I had to do that surgery to see it and it took me weeks to figure out wtf was I seeing. My mind started to exhibit different stages of the "eggAnon syndrome" so I can see the bottom of it. The issue is extremely simple, but impossible hard to explain. That is why I started posting because if my posts don't have the necessary energy it won't help him at all. And I might need the help of multiple Anons to explain his issue. As I said. Blood Anon almost got it right with that Metatron interpretation, but he lacked a certain perspective to understand what is "beyond" Metatron. He thought it's a duck when it's a Platypus. You would make the same mistake if you have never seen a Platypus in your life. See WokeAnon? I too can make absolutely horrendously confusing posts on Page 1. Don't feel bad about making them. Your shyness and misplaced self consciousness is one of your main issue anyway. The reason why I told sister anon to articulate more because he knows how to be articulate when he tries. He has a high energy-well refined mental circuit in his head. He needs to learn how to move thoughts and words through that circuit. He has to turn it into a habit if he wants to become a better magician instead staying as a blabbering fool forever. You on the other hand will require bravery, trial and error to get it right. You are too scared to appear retarded and that is why you have hard time appearing smart too. I like your insights. Especially stating the obvious how Blood Anon have Narrative lenses in his head. The main conflict between the Blood Anon and the anti-Blood faction stems from the fact that they don't have the same narrative lenses. And amending that situation would take at least a week from my life and I do not wish to be a Blood Anonologist or any other namefagologist... That is /drama/ stuff. I had dogs that hated each other for 10 years. I was able to make them make up and like each other. But I was not constrained to use a fucking imageboard to achieve that. I too fixed family feuds and other issues in my life, but those were issues I was closely familiar with. Merging with the narrative circuits of these people who live in other countries and continents is taxing. I am unsure if there is a point doing that in some cases. In the old fringe days Smiley and his crew trolled multiple altchans. When their adversaries came to fringe do you know what they did as a reply? They posted the "lol butthurt" meme who is now the Meme (Slapper) flag. There were no curses, no sigils, no meltdowns. Smiley and his crew posted the lol butthurt image and went with their lives. But ofc Smiley and the others went AWOL and now we are left with people who barely remember the old fringe days at all... Do you get me here? I want you to give up your fixation on the trauma that you got from being trolled in the old fringe days and whatever else social interactions caused you misfortune in the past when you merely just "tried to live" and speak your mind. Fringe requires people who remember what /fringe/ is about. also I will explain that tulpa thing to you quickly. It's not big of a thing, but it will be a separate post for sure

Hey ironpill anon you’ve been awfully silent about me. How about that energy reading? please

>>25758 >please Okay, but only because you asked nicely. The good news is that you have multiple faint and colorful pillars around you. This happened because your lbrp effectiveness improved. You managed to connect to the forces the lbrp connects you with. The reason why I didn't give you a reading so far because I have seen multiple things and wasn't sure what they were. >>25685 Like the day I wrote this post I did a quick glance and on that day I have seen some dark liquid from the ceiling pouring down, you sat in your meditative pose and licked the liquid in a weird way in the vision. Usually this means some degeneracy is being washed out from your system. Didn't know what it was, so I didn't say anything. To explain the mechanics. Your head is full of shit, full of degeneracy and retarded thoughts. But they were "leaking" which is a sign it is being cleansed out. When that happens it means that you will do something degenerated and while doing so you will realize how degenerated it is. And if you are able to let go of said degeneracy your mind will be cleaner and more attuned with the spiritual path. >>25739 Then I read this post of yours how you read about some lolcow for hours on degenerateland while fighting your videogame addiction and had a cold. Then went to bed. This is how cleansing goes. Sicknesses and other ailments appearing while a cleansing is happening can be a sign of the removal of these symptoms. (But you know it's cold season too so it's not much of a big surprise that you have cold, but if you were a gigawizard with superb meditation practice and energy work the cold would be a non issue for you) Now the leakage is gone. There is a faint yellow glow above your head which signifies a cleaner mindset. There is a some strange dark blue in the distance and some entity is calling your name(?) can't make it out what he says, but he is annoyed that you still can't hear him(?) Might take weeks or months before you can hear it I think. Depends how serious you are about your practice. It seems he wants to give you a plant that represents your root chakra or sg. My whole body is itching and twitching while trying to look at that entity, so I will stop. >you’ve been awfully silent about me Also I have been silent about multiple people too. I am still somewhat busy. Currently writing that tulpa guide for wakeywakeyAnon and I should reply to my Gondola buddy too. Don't be like needy children please. If you are that bored then read the IIH and do the practices or read up some pendulum divination guides and try to do some practice if you are bored. If you can't cure your internet addiction then try to look at the fringe archives, see if there are some useful threads there and if you see a really good one make screenshots and post the pics or rewrite/make threads with the good posts on this board or something. Or talk about montalk in the ufology or whatnot. Use your creativity and find ways you can practice magic. Force your slothful side to become more magically active. Of all the people here, you have the finest potential to become a proper fringe wizard, but only if you are willing to put willpower into it. If you want to help then put effort into your wizardry.

If I continue to pray to Asclepius will he help me with getting rid of my porn addiction and degeneracy?

>>26879 Well, He's not a sex god; maybe He'd tell you the name of a probably non-Greek god or goddess you could pray to to help you with that.

>>26879 >>26886 Aphrodite could work too. The Goddess of love should help you awaken your love and could help you find ways to awaken your own innate sexuality in a healthy way. Even if you want to stay celibate for religious or magical reasons you have to find healthy ways to handle your sexuality. Healthy sexuality is not equivalent with hedonism or promiscuity. It is the opposite of that Porn addiction and degeneracy is a form of materialist devil worship. Working with the divine cures that ailment easily.

>>26888 >>26879 In that case, if I were you, then I'd ask Hera who you could contact about this.

>>26888 I had a dream with Aphrodite. Her appearance was a mix of every girl I liked in elementary school in a wedding dress while I was staring at a river in the dream. The dream was long and when I woke up I was wondering why didn't I make a move on my classmate back in the days. That is when I realized that the girl in my dream was not a single girl, but several of them. Their best features were merged into a singular girl. During the day I summoned her, because it was obvious she wants to tell me something. Currently working out some stuff with Aphrodite. Her form is the best. Just a moment before puberty made me horny for everything that looks female. When my relationship with women were far more innocent and effortless. When I was aware of the concept of sex, but I wasn't poisoned yet with this "everything is about sex" mentality the modern age produces. >>26983 >then I'd ask Hera who you could contact about this. Do you have a mommy fetish or something? Aphrodite is the waifu of all waifus. She governs and sees all forms of love. Insight relating to the sexes be it male or female is also her domain. I remember when I heard the myth of Eris in my elementary school years and how the apple was for the "most beautiful". I didn't understand why it was a "contest" at all. It was obvious to me Aphrodite will get it. It was not a question. The fact that Hera thought she could get it because she has authority on Olympus or Athene thought she can just use her Mary Sue wisdom powers was ridiculous. But the legend portrayed well how different archetypal forces of women can play out and what a shitstorm in can cause in the end. I just realized my Christmas present was Aphrodite visiting me. And how was your Christmas /fringe/?

>>27110 >And how was your Christmas /fringe/? These are some of the books I got.

>>27110 Aphrodite made me aware of multiple internal issues of my psyche and this might take a while to solve. She shifted between girls I liked long ago and she made me remember how I felt and thought decades ago. That allowed me to connect to different parts of my mind which I completely forgot about. Buried issues that were always beneath my notice. I didn't really expect this shadow work manifesting during Christmas, but this was the original purpose of winter solstice before the church made it about the Jman. >>27130 That's a large haul. You are prepared even for a blackout now. Just don't forget to read them and you can take notes more easily this way too.

>>27110 >Do you have a mommy fetish or something? No, I was thinking about how She's the goddess of marriage and marital harmony and isn't at all promiscuous; also Eros in addition to being a love god who's faithful to His wife, is a trickster god as well I'd learned after most of my interactions with Him, and another god, forgot which one, told me He can't entirely be trusted. So anyway since the guy wanted to stop being sexually degenerate I'd figured I could trust Hera to give him a good answer, and I'd assumed that the answer wouldn't be Hera.

>>27130 >Golden Dawn by Israel Regardie The GD have a lot of magical paraphernalia I want a Lotus wand Its use is quite strange to me, but it looks interesting. you can make the thing DIY. >Also There's a modern wand for the LRP, made with one side white (invoking) and other side black (banishing) for the LIRP and LBRP. its called Outer Wand of Double Power these guys sell it https://www.goldendawnshop.com/product-category/wands/ but you still can make it DIY like old traditional ways. There's even wands in some shop sites with tech inside to make lights or some light and smoke effects for making the pentagram and etc... damn paraphernalia just more colors for visualizations lol. I think sparklers and fire sticks are pretty fun, even if they're for children. I think I saw a couple of kids making pentagrams in the air one day... maybe these little magicians are invoking something and we dont know...

>>27130 >>27722 There's some books on the topic of crafting magical weapons and items if you search for it. But I like more The cooking book of Hogwarts Cupcakes.

Anons who has been the most helpful deity for you? When you just prayed and forgot and it worked?

>>27984 God. It works since my childhood.

Do you ever temporarily change your diet for spiritual purposes? Maintaining ketosis has had immense health benefits for my body chemistry, but for some reason I feel strongly like I want to eat only organic fruits, nuts and seeds for a while. Some energy work guides require vegetarianism and that always bothered me because I feel much healthier eating meat and 0 grains. Yet LHP tantrikas are known for eating meat, presumably because it's "taboo" or impure for transmutation purposes, and detachment from the death of the animal. Yesterday I downloaded a bunch of books about "ayurvedic diet" and will parse through them soon. At least one of them must have some esoteric application (as opposed to a trendy cookbook)

>>28019 It doesn't matter, don't waste your time, read a book on lucid dreaming instead.

>>28019 >Do you ever temporarily change your diet for spiritual purposes? Yes. Quite a lot. What food you eat depends what magical practice you are doing. And don't forget only the rich Brahmins were able to continue a vegetarian diet even in the past. The poor or the warrior caste required meat to be able to do strenuous physical work. And places with cold winters couldn't really afford not eating meat and milk products in the winter when there were barely any grains and fruits to eat. Personally I can't recommend a single fad diet. I eat what my body requires depending on the work I am doing spiritually or in real life. Not to mention home grown foods and store bought foods wildly differ energetically and nutritionally. It's hard to say which foods are good and which ones should be avoided. Especially if you are not aware your body's needs nor its internal alchemy. >ayurvedic diet I don't know what the book says, but what I learned that the plants which can be found in India are greatly different from the ones we can get in the west. I heard about people who went to India and ate what the gurus gave them for months then cured their terminal diseases with the diet. I am unsure how well you can replicate the diet which is in the books or how authentic the writings are at all. Not to mention high level ayurvedic medicine uses Mercury and other poisonous chemicals which only work with a specific diet if a master can oversee your development. I don't think these diet books will write down anything advanced. But read them anyway. If you find a good dietary practice don't forget to share it

Is my energy getting better staying the same or getting worse? I have been continuing the lbrp and meditation. Unfortunately that is what is left of my spirituality after gaining access to video games again. I meditated for 30 minutes today and 30 minutes yesterday. I have been continuing my 45 minute weekly group meditation. Someone came into the group meditation with sound healing recently for throat and root chakra sound bowls but I asked if next time she could bring heart chakra healing sound bowls and she said sure. So hopefully that works to give me my empathy back. I still won’t give up on loving hitler though. Hitler is so great. Sieg heil. Am I awakening? P.s. I am still doing weekly tai chi as well but that’s pretty much it after getting back vidya but I will admit my practices which have survived are close to becoming habits, which is nice. It’s like picking quality ideas instead of quantity ideas in Europa universalis 4 and spending military power on it. I want to get good at doing a brandenburg to Prussia to Germany play through. I also want to get good at playing every single German country and forming Germany. I want to become obsessed with Germany. Once I become obsessed with German history it will help me stay focused if I try to learn about German renaissance occultists like Jakob bohme and Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa. For the fatherland!