Reminder that YOUR OSHI DOESNT LOVE YOU, she doesn't want you, she doesn't appreciate you, she doesn't even know you. you are just a random name in her long list of names, to her your name might as well be gibberish, she will NOT remember you, even if you spam in chat, even if you thought your comment was funny, HELL even if it was fucking hilarious. she doesn't care! she might read it, then what? that's it! you do not even register to them, you have no object permanence in their life. even if you send a superchat, a member for 4 years in her highest tier, NOTHING. your gray name isnt going to be appreciated, what makes you think fucking paying for her membership does anything? your oshi will thank chat and say her genuine feelings, but she doesn't direct that to you, she doesnt direct that to ANYONE. to her, her fans are an amalgamation of a thousand randos mixed into her little rectangle of scrolling messages. you thought she read your message? no she didn't, what makes you think that? you are insignificant in her life. she already has real friends and people to confide in IRL, there's no place for you there. go buy all the anniversary merchs, the voicepacks, the plushies, the figs, the fucking acrylic stands all you want. nothing will change, you will remain unnoticed, unwanted, unloved, unacknowledged and unseen. delude yourself into thinking being her fan is where you will find your happiness, when her happiness doesn't even have you in it, after all she doesn't owe you anything. have some self-respect, your oshi doesn't love you. all your efforts are for naught, for when she finally is content with herself, she will leave with all the glory and shed crocodile tears, leaving you with with nothing but the regret of wanting to have spent that time chasing your own happiness rather than someone else's who doesnt even know you exist.
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