>>25960
I know communication is essential, I've told loads of others the same thing. I've tried to voice what I want to try and what I'd like. That I really want to be dominated and several scenarios I want to try. It feels like it's just met with reasons why we don't, that what I'm talking about isn't real cg/l daily life, and promises that we'll be able to do some of it later. Usually after our conversation, they'll ask if I want to be put in a diaper now...which just makes it feel like they're doing it to appease me but not because it's what they want...kind of like they're going through the motions and not really into it.
I've toyed with the idea of trying to top from the playpen...but that's not really what I enjoy. I don't want to come up with the scenarios and what things we do...I just do it now because I'm craving any form of a real cg/l lifestyle. I desperately want my cg to dom me and take control.
That's honestly how it feels a lot of the time when we do baby stuff. Like they're just going through the motions and they aren't really engaged.
It really makes me start to think "Are they actually attracted to this? Do they really enjoy being a cg? Am I doing something wrong? Do I look weird doing this? Am I not cute enough for them to really enjoy and get turned on by this?" stuff like that.
I want them to do these things because it's what they enjoy and get turned on by. I want to also know the things I do make them happy and that they enjoy our relationship more when I serve their wants/needs.
I want them to enjoy dominating me and giving me tasks/rules/picking out clothes for me they want to see me in. Whatever they want me to do I'd be willing to do, I don't want to come off as selfish I want to fulfill their needs/wants too.
I'll ask if they need help around the house and they tell me things like "You can just sit there and be my cute baby." But that doesn't feel like I'm really serving them. Or I'll tell them I feel bad for not being a little more often or being a sub for them. and they give me the generic "You're always my little baby no matter what you're doing or wearing." Which yeah, that's cute and nice to hear, but I don't feel like I'm in a cg/l relationship and where I am actually subbing for them.
For the record, I'm not asking to be a baby 24/7, I know that's not possible and burnout can occur. I would just like some rules, directions, chores, and aspects of little space 24/7.
The things I'm asking for aren't even really that crazy. Just occasionally like putting out a playmat or playpen (both things we already have) and telling me I can't move off it or leave the area until my cg tells me or lets me out. For it to be somewhat normal for me to be laying in front of my cg while they're reading or watching tv and me playing in the playpen, to have my diaper randomly checked or changed without me having to tell my cg I could probably use a change,
Them telling me it's time for a nap or bedtime and to help me get ready or make sure I brush my teeth and stuff. Actually having rules and expecting me to follow them and doing punishment stuff if I don't. I also want them to use me at times, say they're feeling sexual and they want me to fulfill that desire from them, tell me they'd want that, and let me handle those needs for my cg.
As it is right now most of the time I do get into a diaper, I run to get a stuffie and curl up on my side of the couch with it and they're on their side...and we just watch tv without much really changing in our dynamic. It's just like...okay you're in a diaper, that's all that's changed. You're not in little headspace, you just go about doing whatever and come tell me when you want a change.
They've toyed with the idea of maybe finding some more baby friends for me to bring to the house and play with, but my CG barely does any stuff with me, doesn't really enforce rules, and doesn't act like a dom. I just feel like it'd be a waste and the baby friend I brought over would end up feeling like I do, where we'd get put in diapers and then nothing else would happen. I think it'd be better if we found another cg/l couple to play with together, but I don't believe my cg wants to be around other cgs.