I'll post it here since it's relevant. But I really don't like the look of this. Anybody knows who is Astriel ? What's his relation with this symbol?

>>3347 No idea about that image in specific, but going by what I know, that's a "satanic super nova", meaning a moon that has its own glow and is actually a dim lit star.

>>3348 I'll explain how i see it. Gabriel top right inserting spears/weapons in what appear to be my body. Azazel behind me Sariel somewhere above to the left can't really see her well. I am Astriel kneeling and smiling, above me Astriel as well but as tailed shadow? my own head cut. the guillotine taking the shape of a crescent the head is the star we become one again the symbol is formed. Can't see the rest.a very old memory. but to me this look like a decapitation ritual. where you take the place of Astriel cutting his own head. More Arch angels around me but i i can't tell who seem to indicate it is complex in it's nature and cannot be done alone. Maybe this shouldn't be taken literally this could literally just mean the union with the subconscious or be the history of how the seals where placed on me.

>>3349 I'm getting more data. Raphael is top-right overseeing Gabriel and myself. <are you sure? <you may not be able to come back oh well I'll analyze it more when i have time.

Great now I am the one who is going through some awakening process again. It feels like I am "molting" my "karmic flesh" or something. Am gonna take it easy until I figure out the correct formation of this thing. The hardest part? I am not allowed to fight it. I have to "surrender" and as none of my parts tense and deny "themselves" I have to feel the correct energy and let it "click". Sure love tasting things that I never tasted in my mouth. Quite literally. It tastes like some weird metal. Jaw meridians pls... >>3347 Not sure man. The moon can represent the sacral chakra while the star the solar but this is not that. My best bet would be that you are connecting to an "another star" some star that is only visible once it shines back from the moon. I am hearing something related to it but I am not sure what it means. They are saying something about <mid year change Maybe Halloween makes the energies more prevalent also it's a full moon outside. Oh wait it's "your" mid-year change. A growth process like puberty. My energies are flowing differently again. I cannot use my higher mind the same way as I did in the past. I will take it easy for a while.

>>3383 >Great now I am the one who is going through some awakening process again. All according to the keikaku >It feels like I am "molting" my "karmic flesh" Same Something like <worms and critters eat me <they die and return to the mother/dirt/mel >black flame crack the earth Idk the rest It's happening over and over >I am not allowed to fight it. I have to "surrender" and as none of my parts tense and deny "themselves" I have to feel the correct energy and let it "click" Exactly :) Like a mother accepting her children :D >It tastes like some weird metal I am eating potato as I'm reading this Gross iron dirt taste like rotten fruit taste with metal Maybe I should put salt and cream on these things . When I cook for family I always try to make something good and healthy but if nobody cooks for me I just eat stuff like that. >Oh wait it's "your" mid-year change. A growth process like puberty. :D Yes I am slowly remembering who I am. I am also extremely mad! I just burnt some mantid ate some too, pieces of shit. It connected again. BTW something I didn't say cuz it sounded too crazy but the moon and star? Its on my forehead as a human and getting more and more visible like a permanent tattoo. I have it as a drow too. >I will take it easy for a while Please do don't feel forced to post because of me. I am gonna let this energy wreck my body for a bit. Also look at this https://youtube.com/watch?v=l8TZ-Gu5Cng I crack my spine like that but in reverse. In the game he was my favorite monster the strategy to beat him was either to poison him or hit his head enough times to stop him from using his wind protection. It was heavily implied all the one we fought were juveniles as you can't approach the adults at all. Their power come from the horns or tail I forgot. I said I was formless but Dragon is my favorite :D

I am having strange dreams again >in my parents house >something is wrong with the sun >the core is gone and now it's just floating gas? >some are freaking out most are in denial >I can see it through the celling >maybe I should prepare and get some canned sardines >then again if we lose the sun maybe I need to get underground or there is no point >now it looks like the moon? >wait was it a small white sun and not our sun? >look at it more intensely >feeling happy about it as everybody is freaking out harder The other dream was easier to understand I ask my dad to take me somewhere where he will approve he used to take us to learn a sport but he would only let you learn something he approved of I am just doing it to make him proud except this time I was being dragged behind them on one of these wheelchair with wheels except it was a bit more comfy like a rolling couch it was attached to my dad's old car. They end up ditching me and come home and I spend the night outside. I go to the old marketplace that got razed by the government a few years ago where my dad used to have a shop this is the past so it should be there. A weird guy is in my dad shops. I am in my succubus body so I am like "yay a male!" I touch his dick but he doesn't get hard <you won't find what you want here is he a eunuch? A homosexual maybe? I am hungry and ask about the food behind him. <it's free for members! <are you sure you wanna eat that it's not very good It looks strange like chewy bread all the food is chewy. He put some weird white goo thing between two slice of bread, sunflower seed bread? I can't eat that physically it would make me sick but I feel It's fine here. I can't taste it well but it's satisfying to eat and suppress hunger. The whole marketplace looks different at night cozy lanterns and Japanese vibe most of the people are women in black dresses they look like pic related. Maybe it just looks like the old marketplace to me? I thought one of the girls was a male cuz she had a dick in a cage kek so I got interested she apologized like a girl and I lost all interest an older woman behind her gave me a disgusting look and showed her teeth. This is the second time this week where a female entity tells me "this one is mine find your own toys" Is it a popular hobby or something? The men remind me of my scholar body so I don't even bother them they look so stuck up as if they can only focus on their mission and have no sexuality. I ask for a few locations from the shop owner and mark them on a map. I go back to my home turning human again my dad is sleeping and it anger me for some reason, I bite him all over with my sharp teeth to wake him up but nothing works he just tells me to go talk to my mom. All she does is complain. <why did you take so long to come back? <you didn't even go there didn't you <you're useless I realize they threw some of my precious objects in my room and replaced everything I get even more heartbroken but mom gets even more mad at me for even mentioning it. I am in my child body now crying in the corner. Two of the girl in black ask me <do you really like being human? The dream end after I scream that I hate it. I wake up and realize I was asleep on my left arm ouch! I am getting more data everybody remembers these old story books for kids? They were boys and girls version.

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It goes like this. <my name is anon <I love my mommy and daddy <I love the color blue <when I grow up I want to be an astronaut! <I like my teacher Mrs whatshername <I like my dog he is my best friend! I think that's where the problem started for us humans, identifying so deeply with temporary meat suits. And ofc they may be precious! I love this body! Even now I am not fully honest! But what is left of the past? That kid grew up his friends changed his favorite color changed maybe the teacher is already dead or she was never as kind as he thought she was. What about that Indian woman I used to be did she have a family? Did she have children? A culture? Something dear? Pets? Maybe even a husband and children. And yet she is long dead, but it's as if I can resurrect her maybe then she was never alive, she was just a role I played for a time and they must all end, and yet we can play them again if we want! Maybe that's the point. One day this body will die and everything this me stand for will be gone my parents my friends my pets memories of grandma, memories of playing in the forest with mycousins. It's all just a game, it's as meaningful and meaningless as you want it to be. Some people sure take it seriously me included. And even here that's the mold mom wanted to break. The mold of fringe. Where even as they become magic users they attached even stronger to themselves. As if this whole thing was just adding a title and some medals to "anon the loser" So he becomes "anon the great ascended master" he sure proved them wrong! Isn't that bs though? I am realizing now the only way to make my current self mean something is to obliterate it. It served it's purpose well and I am proud of him for surviving this. But I try to not be a hypocrite so I have to push myself willingly to do this. Nobody to cut my own head but myself. Why was I even protecting temporary lies? I need to go deeper in magic so deep no more lies can hold me back.

>>3406 I am aware that to some it may look like I changed got possessed by a dangerous entity or whatever. My first post on the question thread and this one are so different! And yet it's still the same awareness the eyes behind the eyes. There is no true me just preferences and tendencies. The act of will upon the world. The act of will upon myself.

Originally I was going to reply to smileyflag anon's wikipedia link in the dream thread >>3395 but I'm going to veer off-topic and there are some other things on which I'd like to ask for guidance anyway. So what preceded that dream was intense contemplation which had been ongoing, but especially that day, regarding whether I should follow a specific religious tradition and if so, which one. I've been studying biblical hebrew because the kabbalah and the symbolism of its letters is fascinating to me, but it's also been nagging at me that I need to follow a religion, and I have no interest in worshiping YHWH or Jesus. For the past year or so I've felt drawn to Taoism as a religion, but many things have held me back, including its apparent inaccessibility and alien status to the civilization in which I was born and live. For the record I'm the swastikanon who asked about Falun Gong in the Question thread a while ago However, I don't think FG is what planted the seed since their literature doesn't really resonate with me and I've never actually finished any of their books. It was probably when I read Man in High Castle by PKD in 2019. Ironically, I've never had much interest in East Asian cultures before in my life. Regarding this need for, or draw towards religion it began several months ago. I posted about it on here and started praying on and off (like most of my practice until recently, except FG because it stops me being sick). I aim to pray only on behalf of others, except in dire circumstances. An example of the latter being when I got stranded in a bad area with little recourse, and only minutes after I realized how fucked I was, some random guy arrived to give me a ride. Part of this change was an awakening to the truth of suffering in this world and how everyone, no matter who they are, was dropped in one of these bodies with no knowledge and inevitably programmed into an automaton by means of trauma and culture. Of course I'd known this before but had never felt this compassion for every living thing in this world and the tragedy of our shared circumstance. I've realized how "edgy" belief systems were just my younger self's infantile response to trauma. Moreover I understand for the first time in my life why religions partake in charity and would like to do so myself someday. This distro-hopping languages sounds mundane and childish, but it's important. Learning languages brings me joy. My inborn essence desires to taste, know and be everything. Yet it conflicts with the reality of being humanly impossible, with trauma programming that strongly discouraged exploration and play, and with the wisdom that excellence is reached through focus. Both the languages and the desire for religion might also have to do with my growing up and having my sense of self destroyed, and being without anything to hold onto or center myself with, for many years. Anyway this dream I had, I interpret it as some sort of advice, or an answer to the question, given perhaps by my body itself in response not only to my mind's intense rumination but also to the new energy pathways opened up. The mountain was probably my body but the lava and vulva felt like something else. It could have been a female aspect of myself, i guess. But her essence felt very different from my own. So finally getting into the meat of the issue, I want to find out if there's a Hindue goddess who matches that part of my experience, and contact her. Ever since that dream it feels like my body has opened up and is craving to be filled with the energy of a deity. Pics related. When I was browsing the web in my dream, I saw a small thumbnail with a woman who looked superficially like this actress. In that moment I realized how closely her flavor resembles what I felt during that part of the "tattva." Sinister, yet nonhostile. Sultry. Brooding. She would smell and feel like warm damp soil, and taste like grass.

>>3480 Based on this post, Copilot recommends Kali.

Every possible point of awareness represents a distinct universe. Every being and object which possesses a soul is the center of an individual reality-timeline which is intersecting with countless other reality-timelines. Every Star is a Sun.

>>3406 I somewhat pulled my shit together so I will talk a little even tho I know you are going through so many changes you are far from the posts you made already. >something is wrong with the sun I have noticed others with these dreams and the only reason I didn't have it in dream because I had to witness it IRL. It is about the "dimensional break" when the psyche that is trapped in your mind or flesh breaks a layer and the "perceived" world ends and you get closer to a "different" "reality". For me it was while awake and had to sit down under a tree for hours to meditate while it happened because I had to witness the many karmic forms around us break then I noticed the many layers and "auras" of the sun as I reconnected to the "remade" reality. You make your own reality and the old and faulty reality that limited you had to end. Like how a chick hatches from the egg. The egg(shell) was it's whole world and he broke it to be "born" from it. It appears different for everyone on the path of awakening. There are similarities and one of my "quest" on fringe is gather the common theme of the processes as much as I can. Either to streamline my own awakening further or for future reference when I have a chance to awaken others as well. It's so rare it is like an accidental choice you can make for yourself and others without noticing. >now it looks like the moon? >wait was it a small white sun and not our sun? Yeah you definitely connected with your own sun/moon aspects like mentioned here >>3347 >I am in my succubus body so I am like "yay a male!" Was it that easy to shift into that mindset for you? I still have second guesses as I am in my female bodies tho my infernal mastery is still lacking. Too murderous and not enough sexual desu. My true passion is not apparent yet. I am not asexual but very few things make me get going nowadays. >I can't eat that physically it would make me sick but I feel It's fine here. I too ate so many weird food in dreams and the astral because it felt "Normal" there. Like a pizzaroll that had the shape of the cosmos or once I found a bread and for some reason I felt it looks too good to be eaten so I stomped on it then ate it... wondered maybe it relates to my self that eats food once it almost expired to not go to waste but avoids fresh food out of disinterest or something? >I can't taste it well but it's satisfying to eat and suppress hunger. Astral food usually has that feature. I too realized IRL that I generate more "dopamine" from chewing than actually tasting food. Was a weird realization. Mostly because I figured out how to enhance or ignore taste for quite the while and I dislike thinking about it because it reminds me how fake is the world. >The whole marketplace looks different at night cozy lanterns and Japanese vibe Feels like I visited a place like that sometime >women in black dresses they look like pic related. Met quite amount of them tbh. >This is the second time this week where a female entity tells me "this one is mine find your own toys" Is it a popular hobby or something? Not sure. I don't encounter them because if any of them did this there is a high possibility I would get stoked and consider it a "challenge". It is a weird gamble with predator mindsets when you threaten them. You need to know by instinct if it will succeed or fail or you learn it in the hard way. If they showed me the teeth I would have an absolute desire to show mine. Had to listen to some entities telling me to stop overpowering larger entities to see the worth of my own strength. It is rude. Had to realize I don't require opposition for "growth" anymore. >as if they can only focus on their mission and have no sexuality. That is a "specialized male". Learning to channel your energies into higher forms is great but that doesn't mean you have to forget your sexuality... it's a long topic. Even I am untangling the right use of energies. >I am in my child body now crying in the corner. Yeah these "roles" need to be solved and merged within your psyche or you won't get "whole" and cannot evolve further. >Two of the girl in black ask me <do you really like being human? The dream end after I scream that I hate it. Now this is a real pickle that I only noticed in the past months. I have a part that refuses to "incarnate" because being human sucks and is asleep and only "wakes up" when I am in some intense situation when I feel "alive". The goal is not to make it more attached to earth but to "unite" with it so I can move between the realms and mental states more effortlessly. Just took out a giant karmic structure from the body yesterday. It was like a black iron with spikes ouch. No wonder it hurt. And these materials keep you together until you can unite on your own. Also I remember when I witnessed the "illusion of the self". It was beautiful it was with the majestic vedic imagery with archetypes and gods and everything. 2 girls appeared and said >this is all too archaic we can do better than this Then they turned into memes and wojacks... The glorious majestic splendor turned into soyjacks and chads and weird spooderman janitors etc. It was horrible and one part of me wanted to say stop it I get it but deep down I knew I had to burn it into myself further because it was so horrific it helped me understand better. For a year I thought after this experience I can withstand any hells and horrors because it was ridiculously stupid. Blood skeletons cross dimensional eldritch horrors? They are RAD. Fucking shitty memes streamed into my consciousness so it can "explain" the illusory nature of the self? WHY? But I am on imageboards and interact with these meems all the time. I "want" this hell for some reason aren't I? I cannot deny it. >I think that's where the problem started for us humans, identifying so deeply with temporary meat suits. There was a time when it wasn't temporal then there was a time when souls refused to properly incarnate and "use" their body as intended. In some cases it's a problem while it's a feature too. Might talk about it later a little more. >I love this body! Took me time to realize it. How I like my own body. Mom always shaming me for every detail kinda made me forgot how great it is. Had to realize that my spirit didn't manage to reach the "length" of my limbs. It felt I have babylimbs compared to my flesh body because I forgot to "grow" into it. Had to increase the scope of my awareness. >But what is left of the past? Whatever you care to explore. Everything is recorded somewhere every moment of existence but there is not always a point finding it. >And yet she is long dead, but it's as if I can resurrect her maybe then she was never alive, she was just a role I played for a time and they must all end, and yet we can play them again if we want! Once you can exist outside time you can realize every moment exists "at the same time" and you can see how they connect in a non-linear way. >Maybe that's the point. :) >One day this body will die and everything this me stand for Do you know what you stand for currently? >will be gone This is a blessing btw. You can let go of things "You don't stand for". They are not you they made you but you don't need them anymore. They had their purpose they are over. What needs to remain can carry on others can leave. Death has it's blessings too. While some parts of you die some go on further. Try to feel both and let those parts die that want to die. >Some people sure take it seriously me included Wonder about your "seriousness" btw. I feel like I didn't manage to get a real glimpse of it yet. It wants to break out but can't find the opportunity for some reason.

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>The mold of fringe. Where even as they become magic users they attached even stronger to themselves Yeah I really try to not become too central on this board for that reason. Creating a web persona is not always wise. >title and some medals to "anon the loser" So he becomes "anon the great ascended master" he sure proved them wrong! Yeah I noticed it IRL whenever I accomplish something I rarely care about those that demeaned me at the start and fueled me forward so I don't be called names by them anymore. I realized having the desire to "prove people wrong" is an absolutely horrendous attachment that sabotages growth. Like you know with magic and sigils you are not allowed to have expectations or it fails. Doing magic to "prove others wrong" is even lower than that. You have a false image of others who have a false image of you and you want to break that false image while literally feeding it deep down in your psyche. Realizing that there are people I shouldn't "prove" magic to and other things that are "real" because they won't be able to handle it and I don't have the wisdom to awaken them yet was harsh. Doing magic or spirituality for fame or other material pursuits is always a futile endeavor and many texts warn against it. >I need to go deeper in magic so deep no more lies can hold me back. Yupp >>3407 >I am aware that to some it may look like I changed got possessed by a dangerous entity or whatever. Nah you are just working through your stuff your own bs. It's just it's so "foreign" it feels like you got possessed. In some cases I like to be overtaken by entities so I can see what is "real" within me. What part of me couldn't be overwritten what breaks so easily and what gets overshadowed. Always educational. >My first post on the question thread and this one are so different! :^) >And yet it's still the same awareness the eyes behind the eyes. Yupp >There is no true me just preferences and tendencies. What are you without those preferences and tendencies then? >The act of will upon the world. The act of will upon myself. And who wills that will? What happens if you don't will? Do you stop existing or you notice something that your forgot about? Want to write so much more but maybe later. The post is already a week old and not sure if you can resonate with it anymore.

>>3480 >>3484 I also recommend Kali. Worked with her and she knows exactly the right methods to make your slumbering essence awaken.

>>3799 >you are going through so many changes you are far from the posts you made already. I wish i could say that i feel like i haven't moved at all. finding my center? spirals spirals, yeah it doesn't change how frustrated i am how angry. >you get closer to a "different" "reality I am feeling that, the mold of old reality is breaking and now it's different, are the people with me the same? did some change with me by following me? or are they different. It's hard to tell sometimes. >Either to streamline my own awakening further or for future reference when I have a chance to awaken others as well. I wonder if that is possible at all. I feel like i am dooming people even here by sharing my story, that my words are laced with poison. i don't know man. >Was it that easy to shift into that mindset for you? I It was! very natural. the only issues come with the fear of being judged by the human me, and shit like being scared to get preggo again with someone unworthy lol but a voice said that this body knows what to do so. I don't get it tbh, being male, the sex is boring the body is wrong, no boobs no pregnancy pleasure is illusory you make love to yourself albeit in a broken uncertain way. I get the expression of the sexuality but all the rest is missing, humans are broken. As a female it'd be even worse having to plug that energetic hole. It only makes sense as a stepping stone a way to accumulate energies that human females leaks. It's very cruel, how broken humans are. dogs chasing their own tails i don't understand how this was allowed. >Too murderous and not enough sexual desu That's how i am as a male tbh, or i rewire it to make myself specialized like you said, still getting the hang of it. Then again my tail is incomplete, it reaches deep but the tip is wrong, it's a halberd. A dangerous unbalance, a dangerous swing a dance of destruction and death. >very few things make me get going nowadays. Same i can feel the love and lust creeping but i don't know what to do i just use that to empower myself.i am not sure how to express it yet, i can express it in female bodies but not in males ones :/ >like a pizzaroll that had the shape of the cosmos when i was a kid i remember pizza shops having weird names, like pizza galaxy lol so thanks for reminding me of that. >wondered maybe it relates to my self that eats food once it almost expired to not go to waste I do the same thing! i let things in the fridge so that others eat them first, but they don't so i have to eat it. I even eat moldy fruits sometimes, wasting food hurts me, i am not sure why maybe because we were kinda poor? maybe because grandma grew up even poorer and i took that side of her, it's complex i am still digging it, it's a kind of compassion for the grain of rice that are being ground between your teeth to prolong your life, the farmer breaking his back, the insects birds and rodents killed for us to eat one more day. but then food is poison today so i can't say i would eat everything unfortunately. It's weird i would also say for me it's cuz i don't think i deserve the best of food and it should be left for those who need it most, i only eat it when i burn myself for them so i am the same as them and deserve it so my body doesn't crumble. >from chewing than actually tasting food. Yeah i get it especially working the wisdom tooth feels good! tbh i am not sure i need to eat that much, i am just syncing myself with the people i live with so i need to with them to be part of family i guess? but then i make myself sick if i force myself to eat like them. It's hard i want to share a meal but the food just is wrong and then i push myself and end up fucking my body which then sync me with this "burn eat burn eat" of carb loop hell. fuck this. >there is a high possibility I would get stoked and consider it a "challenge". It is a weird gamble with predator mindsets when you threaten them >You need to know by instinct if it will succeed or fail or you learn it in the hard way. Yeah i get it, i respect people/entities so i wouldn't do that unless i really REALLY wanted that person as property. Just being curious make them threaten me, but if i can't guarantee that the person under their care is happy then what? if i win i'd just be stuck with them and i don't want to deal with more people rn. so unless someone begged me to take them or i really wanted them no matter what i wouldn't fight with their handler haha. >Yeah these "roles" need to be solved and merged within your psyche or you won't get "whole" and cannot evolve further. Getting "whole" i used to think it meant bringing all myself back to me but maybe it's more like connecting pieces but letting them do their thing anyway..uhhhhhh > It was like a black iron with spikes ouch. No wonder it hurt. Dude i literally have rusted weapons all over my body like fucking Zabuza from naruto, and then memories of decapitation.

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I try to remove them i get hit with radiation lol, now i can remove them but i am scared to do so because everything i look at get a "wheel" I called it "drow wheel" because when it connects you drop dead bugs humans friend foes doesn't matter, not sure how it works but i had to put the weapon back till i put some safety in there! >The glorious majestic splendor turned into soyjacks and chads and weird spooderman janitors etc ROFL sounds like you had fun. >Mom always shaming me for every detail kinda made me forgot how great it is. :'( tbh i love my body like i'd love an old bone shaped into a weapon. It's shit but it's mine and i stabbed some dangerous thing with it, it has a few pieces missing but it served me as best as it could. But i'll have to get a new one and i'll eat that bone whole prb still not sure if i have to eat my body and how it is an act of love but ehh whatever i'll explore more. >Do you know what you stand for currently? mm like generally? I'd say freedom and fairness? For myself and others? Freedom of flesh freedom from flesh freedom of being freedom from pain and pleasures alike? You can feel them but you can look outside at any time. I am trying to find a conclusion to this mess. Maybe i just want one cuz i want my suffering to have meant something, it'd be easier for me if someone just told me "you were very bad in a past life so now you must suffer lol" but i don't see that at all! So it wasn't fair and i suffered for nothing? what was the point then? you know if my parents truly apologized i wouldn't know how to react, i would do bad things for sure! I don't think my anger could stop because it would have meant they knew what they were doing. I am not sure i am not sure at all! I'd like to say this world is perfect how it is that i am okay with the state of things but i am not! I am mad at the gods for letting it get this bad i am mad at myself i am mad at humans i am mad at everything! Either the world is a fallen mess that needs to be purged or it's perfect as it is i just can't see it yet or maybe it's whole point is making someone angry enough that they devour the whole thing. Seriously i don't get it at all! All the suffering and for what? see it's easy for me now to say it's perfect i have a much better life than i had before i can use magic to save myself if a danger approach too. Do you know how people behave in my home country? insects eating each other, parents eating their children, teachers eating their students. No more heroes, everybody is here to get you play by the rules and become an even worse monster if you want to survive! Consuming each other cannibals! And i let them do that to me! I didn't want to face that suffering it was easier for me to pretend it was normal, to be blind to the suffering of others and my own that hey "things aren't that bad!" or if it is they're just being punished for something they did! me included! I am angry bro i am very angry, angry at the suffering of animals and of humans of plants too! "It's okay because it's human doing it to other humans" it's a cheap excuse isn't it? I may not have a human soul but i was born as one raised as one suffered and sinned as one, you are born unaware and before you even learn how to be they break you feed you some nestlé slops and traumatize you in their image we're shock troops! How is that fair? You told me the dragons were insulting me well they can come here as humans and say it as humans and we can punch each other as humans as well!might make right after all right? It's like a billionaire saying money isn't important a wealthy man saying illness isn't that big of a deal. It's easy to call humans weak and pathetic when you soar through the sky with just a thought, try it in this filth and see how much of yourself you can keep!i fucking forgot everything! Weak signals to follow in the shit world made of shit. And then there are people who get tortured and filmed, how is that fair? did they all deserve it somehow? oh maybe this one is soulless it's okay then! Could i keep my reason if i was tortured like that? could you? What about being raped used? sold? eaten from? I'd rather be raped and broken then have my eyes eaten by whilst i still live I'll tell you that or burnt alive.. I am really angry and i am scared to express that anger i don't know what to do with it yet. so what's the conclusion uh? become an even worse monster and set things straight with worse brutality? snuff out the bad ones and eat their livers like an enforcer? Become some kind of feel good hugging saint and 80 years after your death people kill in your name? I think it's unfair, if you're gonna call yourself a god of man you better be fucking responsible of humanity then! come down here and fix it! Or else just be god who helps when you feel like it but don't lie to us like that! Yeah maybe those normies are just that much beyond help, but some of us are born with them and from them no? I am trying to find some sense into this mess, because i need to understand humanity to find a way out, are we all that terrible of sinners? It'd be easy too easy to just fuck off and be a dragon drow or succubus rn but i won't forget this hell i need to find a meaning for this suffering a satisfying answer, a smile that never fades. Do you know how it feels to be a succubus btw? Outside of time you can see everything! go anywhere! just flap your wings and you are there! Nothing could compare here no video games, no sex no pleasure. I guess this would make sense if it was my own suffering i refused to see, and i am being judged like a god despite being human rn. but even that is pushing it, some people have nothing i had the intellect, access to internet etc If it was me i'd grab all the people i like put them on a floating island and let them experience a good life forever till they get so disgusted by it they try to kill me, only then would i let them come down here when they're ready and have a distaste for the unreal. The other day i noticed leaves fall from trees following a "cycle" a "clock" i was disgusted! i closed my eyes in anger! I didn't want to see this horror what a hypocrite i can be! >What are you without those preferences and tendencies then? mmmm it depends if they're really mine? but if they are then i guess wanting to be something is to be that thing on some level but then..i am not the me's and yet they are part of who i am. No wonder i keep getting ouroboros symbolism! confused snake! I'll think about it. >And who wills that will? What happens if you don't will? Do you stop existing or you notice something that your forgot about? Depends on what level, as a human i get forced to act on some desires, but i can will to not act but it is still willing not to will you know? I'll dig this more i can feel a blind spot. well my whole subconscious ofc.

>>3799 Also you asked me what do i fear? Pain in general ofc, but the pain of being judged by someone i respect is pretty high up. That my struggles meant nothing That everything i did was "wrong". Even now i am doubting myself, i need to connect to that anger better.I'll meditate on those feelings and accept them however they come. Also i hate when people hurt themselves for me so don't you dare you or any other do that for my sake!

>>3850 >I wish i could say that i feel like i haven't moved at all. finding my center? Yeah wanted to say you are still the person who posted in the question thread just less depressed. Now the other annoying emotions surface that you have to deal with. >spirals spirals Yupp >yeah it doesn't change how frustrated i am how angry It's not easy I know. >are the people with me the same? Does it matter? Btw everything constantly change so they can "stay the same". Once someone is unable to change further they die. Had to see how the gods do it. For them the term "Unchanging" is not the same as how plastic food is not rotting and plastic flowers are not wilting. The way they do it differs with their "way" and ho boy. Whenever I see the "machinations" I realize how I don't know anything at all. >It's hard to tell sometimes. There is a lesson in Buddhism about not being "judgemental". Westoids managed to misunderstand that as "Infinite tolerance". Old Buddhist masters were harsh af with retards and they mean something else. Letting go of the "judgemental nature" has the perk of you having a chance to gain the ability of "pure observation/awareness" instead of putting labels on everything. Like how everyone is either a commie or a nazi a pervert or prude. That polarized thinking leads nowhere and you will miss the point of your senses. It's hard I know. Some people judge to ridicule or to feel superior I did to be "efficient". Had to realize how I blocked many of my natural skills with that. By turning myself into a clog in a machine that doesn't care about efficiency or longevity at all. >I wonder if that is possible at all. It is but you won't do it "alone". You will need help and only happens when it's "meant to be". People who awaken leave a "heat signature" and reality "changes" with it. There are rules and extremely special karmic formations in those cases. I like to say how I don't believe in the "impossible" but nowadays I see the flow of things far more well and I can finally stop breaking walls with my head just to "Prove" something. It needs to be relaxed and only as much effort as necessary or things break. >I feel like i am dooming people even here by sharing my story, that my words are laced with poison Fringe is safe. This thread is megasafe because of several protective entities are keeping watch. Some poison builds resistance you know. Tantra is about making the poison into elixir. That is my goal here. Figuring out the perfect stimulating energies and the real flow of consciousness. There are things that need to perish in this world and they are willing to ingest as much poison as they can to achieve that goal. Not an easy truth to accept I know. I too try to not make others fall because of my energetic tantrums. >voice said that this body knows what to do so Yes. The female body is supposed to know it but modern females are so disconnected from all aspects of their biology and instincts it's ridiculous. >the sex is boring the body is wrong The male body is a juiced up powerhouse and yes you need "passion" or it only generates regret and disappointment. Even I know if I impregnate a mundane woman my psyche would just go into "dad mode" and I will forget my occult pursuits or wreck that marriage. Seen my many families of the old and I am too responsible to leave them and once the kids are gone the life can be called "finished" already. It's like reading a slice of life novel. It was idyllic and the women were tasty I cannot complain about those lives. But nowadays? Lol no way. Madness of awakening first then I will figure out if I want to play "daddy" or start a magic bloodline or whatever because no way am going into the modern mundane madness and let my children suffer for nothing. >no boobs Bruh if you don't feed babies with those they are pointless as hell. Also you have "boobs" energetically. I had to activate that "female part" several times. It's really female. >you make love to yourself albeit in a broken uncertain way They make funny squirming noises tho. >I get the expression <tfw I have extremely cool secret ecstatic arts that I am too dumb to use currently Annoying tbh >but all the rest is missing, humans are broken And still kicking somehow! Ever wondered why? Let's make ourselves whole again then we can talk about it further :) >As a female it'd be even worse having to plug that energetic hole. As a female I could never awaken on my own. Felt pointless to even try. There were 2 cases that I know so far and they were "guided". My female ass didn't really have a choice in it. It was a do it or die miserably. Ever since I reconnected those parts of myself my "ideal" view on women that the base male psyche grants is gone. All of them entitled wannabe princesses without a kingdom or whores nowadays. Ridiculous and let's not even mention the chemical imbalance they cause for themselves in the past 50 years. >It's very cruel, how broken humans are. Biological lifeforms are not easy. Once you see it you will either hate the "creator" more or you will simply understand. It's a mess but blame entropy and chaos for making it hard to make a stable easy to reproduce incarnation vessel. >dogs chasing their own tails i don't understand how this was allowed Did you watch dogs do that? They are happy to do that if there is nothing better to chase. Hard to find the true prey in life that is worth pursuing tbh. >or i rewire it to make myself specialized like you said Nonono you will have to find your origin energies. Only wire for balance and to further your awakening. Do not wire yourself for meager reasons. I had to see what atrocities I did to my body because as a young psychic I realized how I can wire myself as much as I can. Overwired myself like a retard. Seen all the extra wires and circuits how they take up so much place instead of connecting it as it "means to be". Urgh. Smart people have the luxury that they are aware how retarded they are... while retards think themselves smart already and never see the reason to improve because of it... Always annoying to realize it how much I have to go further. But once the pace appears it becomes quite addictive. Perfection is just a mere step into the right direction. >Then again my tail is incomplete I would say you are stressing on it too much but... as I see it now it seems you don't have your "dimensional anchoring" yet. The why "stay on earth" and the answer won't be found in society or mainstream thinking. It will be far more baser far closer to your real nature. >A dangerous unbalance, a dangerous swing a dance of destruction and death Yeah you are still breaking a "Mold" for yourself. Can't say what exactly. The tree that reaches the heavens will need it's roots reach hell. I don't know what is your "underworld" I cannot see it yet. Some dark brown energy and it whispers something but I cannot hear it <do not disturb further k fine I will stop. >i am not sure how to express it yet Yeah I notice it the way you write still has "mood swings" which means your true expression is not apparent yet. There are still too many "leftover energies from the "Mortal self" and your main energies are still slumbering. >i can express it in female bodies Try to express other things besides sex. Some artforms or way of speech I don't know. You know "women aren't just holes" the better ones at least. >wasting food hurts me Same but starting to let it go because being a trash hog is pointless. Starvation is least of my worries.

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>maybe because we were kinda poor I can relate. Too many habits stay from that mentality. >but then food is poison today so i can't say i would eat everything Yeah. The food the air the media the women the people. Ridiculous. >deserve it so my body doesn't crumble Same I need food to stay productive in the mundaneverse. As much as I tried to fast while working with mundanes I can't. Not because of hunger or tiredness my grounding just breaks and I cannot put up with mundane retardation further. If I don't eat I just want to get lost in the forest and never return. Ridiculous. >unless i really REALLY wanted that person as property Yeah I rarely have that feeling too. Very few things set me on fire. Not to mention most entities "fall in love with me" if I am willing to show my passion otherwise I am rarely bothered while in "low energy mode". I have to reclaim so many parts of myself and "collecting astral pokemon" is not as fun since i noticed how many "friends" I have from my "Other lives". >i don't want to deal with more people rn Same. I too am still unfucking myself. >it's more like connecting pieces but letting them do their thing anyway..uhhhhhh You usually find the "connection point" and once you find it you let it "widen" until it's so wide they or (You) fuse together because there is no "difference" anymore. >i am scared to do so because everything i look at get a "wheel" Dharmawheels are a thing. Many energy centers have circulatory mechanisms that appear as wheels. Work with them. Also figure out of your "radiation" and let it shine so it can kill your parasites and your "internal entropy" can decompose your useless parts. I don't get your "radiation" tbh. Feels like there is more to it. Might be an expression of your authority.

>>3850 >but i had to put the weapon back till i put some safety in there! Instead of "safety" see what "triggers" it. Guns don't kill people people kill people as the saying goes. Feel what thoughts and emotions makes you "do harm" with it. For me that was one of the "trick". >ROFL sounds like you had fun. Bruh it fucking traumatized me. I wanted the spiritual splendor and was amazed that I can finally see it then "nope it doesn't have a proper grounding in the psyche and if it's too divine most parts of my psyche won't integrate it so soyjacks it is". >tbh i love my body Same tbh. I realized it's "good start I shouldn't waste this incarnation let's make the most of it". Didn't realize what level of specific genetic make up I have so I can actualize my "soul activation" back then. Ever since seeing it I cannot hate this big boy. He can do anything! but he is a little shy :( >ehh whatever i'll explore more You will do that a lot. >mm like generally? Wondered if you managed to reach your "true feelings" or you are still swamped by the confusion. When you truly know "who you are" and truly able to express in words you are a true force of existence. But yeah I made your noggin joggin with this question. If you asked me what I stand for I could tell tales what I do and what were my intentions with that but if I have to say it on a grander scale? I am unsure if I have the audacity to say it out loud. >freedom from pain and pleasures alike? Succs have mastery over it and not exactly "freedom" >You can feel them but you can look outside at any time This one is tricky. How to overcome your senses but don't lose your anchoring in this reality. >I am trying to find a conclusion to this mess. Yeah but try to look for a "vantage point" instead of a final conclusion. You could call a conclusion a "judgement" and I don't think it works that way anymore. Conclusions exist at the very end and currently we have to find the way to live in the moment the true center the true way to observe reality for what it is. I can "detect" my past life and conclusions were "made" but only as an intention for the next life and not as a "Great summary". It was a don't make this mistake next and look for x or y in this life instead kind of thing so far. Ofc there are more but these memories are painful. >what was the point then? Maybe so we can talk on /fringe/? lol. Btw once you see "karma" you will notice all the threads of fate and how you gravitate towards things remake renounce and create karma and why you keep doing it. Not a nice sight. As long as your emotions stir your psyche you cannot see it fully. Not even I can yet ;_; Always something weirder and nastier comes out once I solve a problem. If I level up the stage also shows it's higher level. Like a videogame :D >if my parents truly apologized I realized I don't care anymore. Their current state cannot say "sorry" the way I want them anymore. They were weak and hearing the weak sorry for being weak just angers me in a way. Truth is I wanted to "prevail" over them and not by the passage of time. I wanted to overcome then when I was still little and not by growing up. Am slowly letting go. Realized how addictive and freeing forgetting can be. Especially once you can travel through time without emotional attachments memories become like the mud on your shoes important. >they knew what they were doing They were lost in the moment. They had no idea what they were doing. Really annoys me. Dad had remorse in some situations but mom... >how it is that i am okay with the state of things but i am not! You will need to find peace first. Otherwise it won't work. >I am mad at the gods for letting it get this bad i am mad at myself i am mad at humans i am mad at everything! Was that way for decades. Finally getting out of it. Truly liberating. >Either the world is a fallen mess that needs to be purged or it's perfect as it is What if just selected things needs purging and fixing? What if we just need to realize what is wrong and fix it? What if it's simple? What if we just need to see it? Took me time to see it so no need to blame yourself for thinking this way. Not easy because it's too obvious. >No more heroes We just have to make some. Just Merlin their shit up and we have a round table. >I may not have a human soul but i was born as one If you have a human compatible soul then you are a human period. This is the conclusion I came to. Otherwise it's too hard to draw the line what is and isn't a human. We have too many non-humans and those that can be called humans are let's say even weirder. >How is that fair? Dunno. You stand for fairness you should know the answer :P Srsly what is "fair" gets more complex especially once you see karma. Just realize your feelings let them wash over you let them take over you then once you are done let go and face what was overshadowed by them. >You told me the dragons were insulting me They kinda insult everyone :/ They called me an arrogant fuck for using an even more ancient elemental magic because their way is incompatible with mine while I have an already working elemental system that I have to learn anyway to retain my stuff. >Do you know how people behave in my home country? I think we have weird cultural barriers going on that we don't even notice. Like if you live in Latin America I cannot comprehend the hell you are experiencing there with my Yuropoor ass. When you mentioned that monkey I realized damm I will never experience that. I only have hoofed and horned beasts and not a wild monke attack like it's normal. Best I have is cats and deer. Wildboars in some cases. >It's easy to call humans weak and pathetic Only modern humans. Ancients eat demons for breakfast and tame the rest. >Weak signals to follow Your "receivers" are jammed by the noise. Once your find your frequency it will get easier. >there are people who get tortured and filmed, how is that fair? I uh have this thing in Ukraine near me but you don't have Mexican cartels there right? Or whatever is happening in Brazil... or in Argentina... or in the other countries which are also famous for being crime ridden shitholes but I am unaware of their current geopolitical status. >did they all deserve it somehow? Usually no but in some cases the answer is more complex. You are speaking in general and not about specific videos that are widespread in your country right? I only have POWs torturing each other hundreds of kms away. Oh and that "farm" the elites had that may or may not have been "bombed".

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>maybe this one is soulless it's okay then! Not how karma works! >Could i keep my reason if i was tortured like that? could you? Always wondered about it tbh but never really making myself get into those situations so who knows. >What about being raped used? sold? eaten from? Okay the mosquitoes are my public enemy and I cannot stand them. So guess the others are also something I would dislike. >I am really angry and i am scared to express that anger i don't know what to do with it yet. You will have to find the way it flows and let it wash over you and not "act with it" don't deny it let it go through you and watch it how it moves some parts of your body as an observer. Not easy I know. Even I have troubles with it. >become an even worse monster and set things straight with worse brutality? Demons consider Angels as an even worse monster. Evil spirits think the same about Gods. I think you will get it once you see the proper way to dispose monsters instead of becoming one of them. >eat their livers like an enforcer? You still eating those? >Become some kind of feel good hugging saint and 80 years after your death people kill in your name? y-yeah I definitely never did such a thing. h-haha. Imagine having astral armies that do your bidding once you utter the word but you feel unworthy to do so h-haha. That would be so funny l-lol. >but don't lie to us like that! Truth cannot be expressed via words so everything will be a half truth until you can "hear it" :( Also forget what the prophets said and the Bible especially how the general populace interprets it because it's absolutely misunderstood and mistranslated. >Yeah maybe those normies are just that much beyond help Still unsure. >but some of us are born with them and from them no? Yeah :/ >I am trying to find some sense into this mess, because i need to understand humanity to find a way out You need not just a way "out" but also a "way in" so you can retain your own true knowledge base. >It'd be easy too easy to just fuck off and be a dragon drow or succubus rn I am unsure tbh. Feel like you have to shift through many forms so you can shed the "current human" (You) then finally see the force that ties you together. >but i won't forget this hell i need to find a meaning for this suffering a satisfying answer, a smile that never fades. Is it really that bad? >Do you know how it feels to be a succubus btw? I have lilim and siren bodily forms somehow. Like when talking to the dragons my siren form appeared and looked at him with bejeweled eyes and the dragon became nicer. Never understand when my spirit does that shit. whyamIasiren. whendidIdothat. >Outside of time you can see everything! You have to understand how time doesn't exist. Once you are there you can widen your awareness as much as you want and let go of this confusing mess of "human condition" >Nothing could compare here no video games, no sex no pleasure Tell me about it. >let them experience a good life forever till they get so disgusted by it they try to kill me I might tell a story about this sometime. How I had to experience the "end of heaven" in an ancient existence and what level of karma I am carrying because of it. >only then would i let them come down here What if they could go "Up" more? What if there is something beyond paradise and this planet? >I'll think about it. Gambare >>3851 >Also you asked me what do i fear? Pain in general ofc For me it was "fucking up" making an irreparable mistake. Pain is sensory. Can be turned off. Nowadays I am increasing my sensitivity so I can feel the more nuanced pain. Never knew my body can make so weird sounds. >Also i hate when people hurt themselves for me so don't you dare Heh. I don't think that will happen. I don't think others will need to hurt themselves for your sake. Not even the time hurts that it took to write down this reply lol.

>>3901 >Now the other annoying emotions surface that you have to deal with. Cleaning the river eh. It's more than emotional turmoil it's insane blockage that block the energy flows and redirect them in stupid ways, i am just glad i didn't develop cancer by now. >and I will forget my occult pursuits or wreck that marriage. bruh i literally had back up plans wired in my body if i couldn't pursue my goals :/ As i recall only two bodies were available to reincarnate into and both of somewhat low quality; the other died at 14 if i recall due to a fatal flaw so i didn't pick it up as too risky and got stuck with this stock;In the words of XRA "I am a survivor we're a dying breed". >Let's make ourselves whole again then we can talk about it further :) Sounds like fun yes. >As a female I could never awaken on my own. It's possible but the way the womb and spine connect is complicated. You need to unlock your hips and lower side and have them naturally connect to the spine, it looks like the lower spine hugging the womb to me. You also need sperm but that's just for initial activation the human body has that code built in. That's as much as i am willing to share i can see other stuff but i am never sure. >Might be an expression of your authority Anything that isn't the "real me" degenerates, it's a blinding intense light being near it makes you sick and start to lose your cohesion so in a way it is radiation. >Do not wire yourself for meager reasons. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE okay fine you're right i just have a hard time accepting myself for who i am and try to make myself "useful" to the people around me cuz i pity them or something. In a way i have faith in myself i know no matter what i can come back but others...maybe they just need more time in the "oven"? >as I see it now it seems you don't have your "dimensional anchoring" yet. The why "stay on earth" and the answer won't be found in society or mainstream thinking. It will be far more baser far closer to your real nature. I just want to have fun :'( Fun mean different things to different people.. Like fighting can be fun and you can be badly hurt but it's part of the fun too but being hurt to the point the body doesn't recover and you have to give up the adventure or live as a cripple isn't fun to me nor to you i assume. But i think i am getting an idea on what kind of uh being? i want to be. >"dimensional anchoring" You just make a rod put a ton of emotion into it and link it to that dimension then put&break the rod into the ground in such a way it become the same as that dimension to you. That way if i think of "earth" and i feel "love" emotion used it worked. ofc then i ask myself: the rod is in how many earths? but then does it matter? do i have an idea on which earth i am waking up this morning do i slightly shift all the time? Yeah doesn't really matter just have to be careful cuz you can anchor yourself to misery if you think of earth as this and just cause bad shit for yourself. so i have to anchor solidly to something not solid and this bothers me to no end. tbh i am just retarded and have no self worth so i trap myself in that kind of bs and then when i decide to act i do it forcefully with all the momentum of my repressed self and end up crashing my life lel. Madoka was a relatable as fuck btw no self worth i can only be god for others and i chastise myself for wanting my own happiness call that a demon and repress it she took everyone's karma and was stuck in a loop of killing her witchform as Madokami. But i found a compromise i have to trust myself i'll still want to help people even after i awaken that i am not a piece of shit like i thought that i am just myself and that's okay you know i can trust in god like that. aand i felt super bad realizing oh shit i have been repressing god all this time how awful is that? >You still eating those? you got me no i am eating spines spines you hear! I had a moment where i ate intestines and shit but now it's mostly full spines. I was also high on weed focusing and was listening to music meditating and noticed it..the milk and honey..like syrup poured on my head. i am not sure how to explain my situation rn i'd say as if my whole body was being coated in sperm? my nerves especially an oil..gross I can feel how i block it, i can sense the flow in the spine, the base burning sometimes. That sperm substance coat more than the physical body btw so yeah fun ! What started it was keeping the sexual energy without "leaking" nofap/abstinence is useless without solving that imo. >You will have to find the way it flows and let it wash over you and not "act with it" don't deny it let it go through you and watch it how it moves some parts of your body as an observer.

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Oh yeah! i was gonna say "let the pain and shame wash over me" a few weeks ago. I know how to do that i just have too many attachments so i fuck myself cuz i think i don't deserve happiness or someshit. My journal is full of quests and i am scared progressing the story will make most of them unavailable. >I am unsure tbh. Feel like you have to shift through many forms so you can shed the "current human" (You) then finally see the force that ties you together. I am not sure what i am anymore or if it matters lol Ok so i discovered i could change the focus of a "len" and doing so change my alignment? and what kind of magic i have access. Currently i am more distant to my Drow self but closer to Angels and a knack for ritual magic which i hate in the other "focus". Getting data on the use of herbs saliva body fluids etc i am being guided by someone in the astral might talk about it later. Oh and this relates to what Shugara did to me and how when she's finished it'll be <as clothes to wear hard to understand her! >We just have to make some. Just Merlin their shit up and we have a round table. I think i would like that yes. >Like if you live in Latin America > Or whatever is happening in Brazil... or in Argentina. ROFL Would you believe me if i said the reason you think that is cuz i "wore" the egregore from that region? yeah like a cap with my cute ammonite needle/pin holding it together. I still gotta get a feel to it i just wanted to learn protuguese but then i was like "oh i like their DNA i wonder if i could.." then i was like "wtf is going on with peru lol". But yeah Argentina Peru Brazil seem interesting right now to me, i wonder.. I didn't do much i just grabbed that stuff and wore it but i didn't embody it yet it's useful to appear as one of them get their jokes etc Magic stuff ok plz no judge. On that note i got an idea of spell using the belief of others to power it up people have good opinion of me IRL cuz i am higher purity and it raises their level but then my contact on the astral said i am above that already and can just copy the belief they have in "husks" and use that for my spell instead of dirty connections that make me easy to change depending on what others think of me. Anyway i just wish people talked about this shit more in a way i would get it but yeah ears to hear eyes to see etc..i still suck at manipulating that kind of stuff >Is it really that bad? You ever watch Apocalypto? My life was kinda like that 1-3 paradise i remember 3-11 shit start hitting the fan 11-14 Diving deeper forgetting myself 14-16 slowly remembering 16-20+ Overcoming hell Yes i know what the movie is about the spine I want to kms everyday some days i want to gouge my eyes out too. But my life is better and there is still ways to progress and it makes for a better story when the hero start in bumfuckland and overcome the obstacles y'know. Now i'd say i am reaching a "return to heaven" even the colors look better and it feels nostalgic like i am a kid again. It's like everything have more life to it! >What if they could go "Up" more? What if there is something beyond paradise and this planet? I know i know i am just saying it's not fair people end up here with no preparation. Idk which layer we're operating on anymore tbh. I can tell you were addressing my subconscious more than my conscious all this time, you sure left some pearls!I'll reread those posts again and again. so idk which layer you're on and i don't want to look just yet but i am still walking and I'll reach there. I wanted to say i smelled you some kind of bell flower? batter? leaves and mud, of man and dad. I am not really in the mood for longposts i am having weird dreams again might share them here or in the other threads if it can help. I wonder if I'll be able to reach it soon and then i wonder what I'll really want to do!

A few things i'd like to mention. A snake lady appeared looked like orochimaru not a lamia and fed me from a Kodoku jar, she said she used to serve me; I am not sure if it's an enemy or ally yet as i do get attacked in strange ways but for now i got good data from the poison. I also connected to a race of slug like being after changing my "focus" happened after being interested in necromancy and realizing it was an external influence pulling me in; they correspond to the Sloads in TES and look like pic related. I only kept a weak link as i refuse to deal with them right now. The second image is interesting as i saw my body shift in one of these forms when i momentary lost my composure the other day.

Mouravieff's Gnosis

>>4179 10 years ago I found this page on /fringe/, and it informed much of my path from that point on. In fact, it describes one of the keys for successful magic. Turns out it's about page 30 of a 900 page work. Yet many a fool believes herself "awake" after watching a couple conspiracy videos and being an armchair magician for a couple of years.

>>4180 >believes herself "awake" I hated the moment when I learned the term "woke" then it spread as wildfire and how it destroyed the significance of the word "awake" the same way the significance of the rainbow flag was diminished with it. I don't think people consider themselves "awake" the same way as a decade ago. >watching a couple conspiracy videos and being an armchair magician for a couple of years Can't believe it got worse in the mainstream since that.

>>4179 Thank you for sharing.

>>3902 >Wondered if you managed to reach your "true feelings" or you are still swamped by the confusion. uggh this is gonna sound incomprehensible but.. Okay so the other day a friend was complaining about his work and other related stuff he was pretty depressed so i put my hand on his shoulder to encourage him he left for work and all was good. but then i realized what i did; no what i've been doing this the whole time I AM GIVING MY ENERGY TO PEOPLE! I am lifting them up when they are down; you told me to not to cleanse others without knowing how it affects me well i've been doing that since i was a child! I saw it too white mucus like things, like pussy juice or concentrated milk connecting me to others; how i feed them my energies to keep them going and i do that for everyone i care about; the issue is i care about the well being of literally everyone who isn't a lost cause; i can even have empathy for a rapist! I was so clouded by my self imposed self hate that i didn't even realize how much i helped them how much being around me change them. And now here i am barely holding on with a body that's crumbling. I was so bad the other day Helped 5 people around that i had to rely Gaia for help; i was close to dying; now i'm back to an acceptable level where the "karma" is around half my body which means anything make me want to puke outside of milk and fruits but at least i am alive. And i am realizing why i do that; i see humans as my children, i see it as my responsibility to show them how to be; but i am a human as well and i can't do that i am just betraying my human self biting more than i can chew. The suffering of others is something i can't look in the face without my heart being torn apart and it makes me angry so angry sometimes i wonder if ending them all wouldn't be mercy at least they would be safe! ofc it's not that simple. I am so kind i heavily punish myself for the tiniest thing; even here talking to you i considered it "going too far" by talking about my magic and processes and i suffer retribution! So i end up in a situation where i have to punish myself somehow or let the world punish me. And don't get me started on masturbation and sex i considered "evil" for the longest time because of my upbringing but even now when i do it i go months without i feel like i must heavily suffer. Those are very deep beliefs btw; shit that was put in here at 3-5 year old. Anyway i am realizing it is largely meaningless; that i am giving myself divine retribution for something others don't end up paying shit yes i know they do but there is no fairness it's a world of good enough for and then i help them to boot! I am preparing a ritual; breaking my shackles and remaking myself as a new being and cutting myself off of humanity for good. I'll still play human and i still want to help the children but it'll be done in a clear way where i don't lift a whole household from animal level and end up requiring rescuing myself! See that's funny i know how to lift myself but when your awareness get so low and you have no direct memories you're kinda fucked! Especially with low self esteem and "if people are mean to me it means i am trash they must be right" The idea is to just create a bod and making sure it follows what i want and be a changing body that can shapeshift and never get too lost that way. I am also using masturbation as a way to detect my flaws; which part is trying to punish me? why? where is my energy going? etc time to take responsibility. I might post how i do it when i fix all of this mess but no promise. I want to share some stuff about the spine i noticed the other day but rn i'll just suffer retribution for it, that's how dumb that shit is. Pict related is a sea angel a type of carnivorous sea slug; i got attracted to it for some reason.

>>4198 >yes i know they do but there is no fairness it's a world of good enough ughh i'll add it depends on the level you are on and there are layer of truths. understanding fairness as a human isn't really possible even if you take past and future lives into considerations as someone might get what they want lifetimes after lifetimes whilst other suffer heavily for minor transgressions. But it's done in a way to push their evolution and this can't be understood as it is an individual process as each spirit is different and terrible mistakes are sometimes "necessary" but even that cannot be understood and free will exist it all depend on which layer you are and trying to understand them here just bring anguish and confusion but even that can be necessary lol Basically "shit happens" and try to enjoy it whilst finding your truth" and not every experience is necessary but the understanding of it is. whatever i'll go change my mind more and see how much i can change myself. this is an unofficial good bye at least using this me or see you later. thanks for everything brother.

>>4199 >at least using this me. I haven’t been keeping up much with the thread, though o have been meaning to and read just the last several posts; you aren’t gonna die & reincarnate already, are you?

>>4202 He is trying to overcome his "ego" his "human condition" break his limiters that makes him commit foolishness that plagues his life. He is getting too impatient with himself. iktf damm too well. Just let him do his thing. >>4198 >uggh this is gonna sound incomprehensible but.. No it's not >I AM GIVING MY ENERGY TO PEOPLE! We all do man. The goal is to realize a balanced and healthy energy flow between all parties and this doesn't just include the mortals but the planet the other planes and the cosmos itself. >well i've been doing that since i was a child! Luckily they slowly broke that ability of mine as I grew up so I could only dispense hate and malice towards those that wronged me. Am still taking apart that miserable part of me. As much as he was effective overcoming obstacles he managed to become the greatest obstacle for myself. >how i feed them my energies to keep them going and i do that for everyone i care about I am sure you are getting something back in return you just don't know what to do with it. >the issue is i care about the well being of literally everyone who isn't a lost cause Wish I was that nice. For me it is a strange attraction and the requirements for them so I can care about them if they are "useful" or at least willing to stick around long enough or if they are "interesting" enough. If I can see someone who "does well" I leave them alone but if I know I can help I will do it either as a lesson value but mostly because "I can". I am really weird how I make my connections tbh. Sometimes I can just feel how incompatible and a burden establishing a connection would be so I leave it that way then in some cases it just happens and stays that way for quite the while. I really hate pretending and hiding my powerlevel tbh. I do if it's a must and I know I won't be interacting with the person long but if they are close to me then bad news I will fix some of their problems because they are blaring issues in some cases that no one told them. Like telling someone who constantly trips to tie their shoelaces tier advice in some cases. But for me the "people" are secondary. I realized how the environment how the energetic ecosystem shapes things actions behaviors and events constantly so I decided to focus on that and the people will follow the "vibe" anyway. Even if they are sentient or NPCs they will change with the environment. Everyone does and I require this change. One of my hardest lesson was accepting that I cannot "keep my own power within". I have to acknowledge that with internal changes the external changes too and the idea of "closed systems" is not "real" in this world of chaos theory and entropy. >i can even have empathy for a rapist! Drow are rapist sexuals. The females I encountered embraced my aggressive hostility so fast and so well my raging heart was finally calm instantly within seconds. I should go back to the girls again. I am having a breaktrhough with my aggression again and they are not just a mere outlet they desire this. It's amazing. I could talk about empathy more but our empathy is different. You just like the people around you man. I don't think that is bad. >I was so clouded by my self imposed self hate that i didn't even realize how much i helped them how much being around me change them. Oof yeah iktf too. I thought people want to kill me with their idiotism and would want to get rid of me if they could and was hard time accepting that they might care about me. Tho I hated them too not just myself. My hate was the only thing that kept me focused on their issues. Whenever I stopped that hate they lashed out on me for the most trivial reasons. It was like they hated if I didn't hate them. Realized that mentality comes from a deeper issue and started a greater project cleaning it from the collective conscious of the post soviet block. Do you ever get gifted the Shadow of Stalin and a soul shard of Mao as a sidequest reward? I am rebuilding the spirit connections that were overshadowed under communism and industrialism. So much anger and misery but I know that taste too well because i grew up breathing it constantly. I know the way but it takes time and if any westerner commie wannabe spits into the restoration he can taste the suffering of billions in the past 2 centuries. When you unclog energies they become quite "volatile" until you find a way to "settle them down". It's a complex alchemical process and I am trying to not make it explode in the face of those that annoy me for a while. It's not just about the restraint but the patience of the divine. Real hard to get it right as an incarnated mortal at the start >And now here i am barely holding on with a body that's crumbling. Hahahaha. Yes you are running out of "excuses" to keep your shoddy self together with all the misery kept inside. Have this Holding_on.mp3 >Helped 5 people around that i had to rely Gaia for help Only ask for otherworldy intervention in mortal matters when it is absolutely necessary. Mortal issues should be solved with mortal means. Reduce the energetic entanglement as much as possible. I had to learn that because in my initiate tier psychic years I used it for everything and I am still unfucking the consequences. >i was close to dying tf did you do? I cannot imagine your occupation bro. Like are you at a shipyard where you pack stuff for Latin American transports of something? I cannot put my finger what is keeping your "environmental routine suffering" together. The reason why I asked about your country is not because I want to send a contingent of glowniggers there but I lack the perspective of your situation. The images I get are too abstract and usually represent your "neighbor dimensions" and not the mortal landscape you walk within. But yeah only reveal as much as you comfortable with never more. I too might be revealing too much anyway but I stopped caring long ago. >which means anything make me want to puke outside of milk and fruits but at least i am alive. Oh. Yeah that is a "rookie mistake" when you try to literally "digest karma" the stomach can do that and it causes problems like that. Ofc my stomach is a warforge but even I use cosmic forces and forces of disintegration/recital if I can and always watch out for the energy investment it requires at the start. Funny thing when you resolve karma it can grant an extra amount of energy payback because all the trapped energy gets "free". But you must be through and not be blinded by the karma's "desire" to stay as it is and some of them are a real nightmare to recite. You know the mystic eyes of death perception from Tsukihime right? Every karma has a blaring antidote key or "weakness" that makes it crumble as it enters your awareness. Ofc awareness is the key and you must never become blind to it's illusions and lies. The wrong mindset can reinforce it while the right one grants it salvation. We make the world into a harsh place. It doesn't need to be that way but very few truly see it. Awakening is secondary tbh. The goal is the liberation it will grant from these absurdly idiotic shackles that the incarnated will have to suffer in the Kali Yuga no matter what. >And i am realizing why i do that; i see humans as my children That's a nice realization. Sadly I see them as mistreated barn animals in most cases. >i see it as my responsibility to show them how to be; but i am a human as well and i can't do that I know that damm feel damm too well man >betraying my human self Hahaha no. You are finally finding the true potential so you can shed the shackles of the "idea of a modern human" that was drilled into our skull since our birth that eats our lives and soul since the get go for no true benefit. >biting more than i can chew Was so weird noticing that the tension I had in my body appeared as the jaws of wolves biting my meridians. Canines can "jaw lock" when they are unable to let go what they bitten until biting it though or they finally "relax". I rarely accept things as "too big" or too hard. I just grow stronger teeth instead... ofc my lessons now letting things "break on their own as their cycle catches up with them" instead of being the tryhard that I was for many years. Why break things constantly when they crumble on their own anyway? No one can escape the weight of karma that they accumulated for themselves. The trick is finding the way that the karma breaks with the "origin cause" completely instead of plaguing things with a "karmic pyramid scheme" of eternal damnation. >The suffering of others is something i can't look in the face without my heart being torn apart I can thank Buddhism for this truth. This is important. Never ever help others if your main motivation is that their suffering causes you suffering. If you do it that way you will only solve the "surface suffering" without realizing the core issue and either get hit by the karma or just make their life worse without noticing. When you help others it must come from pure compassion no matter what. With pure compassion you can understand the full scope of the suffering and can grant a perspective that grant the complete recital of that karma. You will not "shoulder" it nor merely "block it" but become the other person COMPLETELY for a moment understand their pain and suffering completely then with your awakened and compassionate heart you will see a little glimmer of "out" from their cycle of suffering that they entrap themselves with and show them the way and maybe nudge them a little with a compassionate kick into the butt if it's truly necessary. It gets so weird and emotional sometimes. People rarely notice how much they torture themselves for no real reason. >i wonder if ending them all wouldn't be mercy If you cannot shed this thought I might talk about this further. It's not simple. Karma does not only exist in the flesh. And if you are the main cause of the breaking of their path then guess who "Inherits" that karma. But in some cases it's meant to be and grants a sort of "mercy". >at least they would be safe! You might awaken the sight that shows you the quality of the psyche of others. If you see that you will know what kind of "hell" awaits them after death. I rarely use it. Peering into that future is never kind. >ofc it's not that simple. We will talk about this for sure. It can be simple but for that you will need to master the "skillful means" How you can literally bait people to awaken from their slumber. Shame it requires perfect clarity the purest of hearts and the patience of the divine >I am so kind i heavily punish myself for the tiniest thing Yeah I too was biting my own meridians for being a "failure" without noticing and to keep myself on edge constantly.

>>4198 >even here talking to you i considered it "going too far" by talking about my magic and processes and i suffer retribution! Yeah I felt that. You mentioned that weird ball in your throat while posting in an another thread. That is a symptom of anxiety when you fear to express yourself in front of the "crowd". Your own shadow is strangling you to not let out something you shouldn't while not knowing what is that. I was playing music in my childhood and was in a band in my teens so stage fright is not an issue for me. Somehow it never was tbh? I knew I had to focus on playing the instrument so much that the audience rarely even had a chance to bother my awareness. Mostly because i hated practicing and I had this "do or die mode" most of the time. boy I hated playing those songs. Their message never resonated with me. Songs had too much pain and never passion in it. I hated it. >So i end up in a situation where i have to punish myself somehow or let the world punish me. How does that manifest for you? >And don't get me started on masturbation and sex i considered "evil" Yeah let's forget it now. That will be an another topic altogether. I had to realize how "Lust" is above "rage and hatred" and how that is an "improvement" but lust usually bores me and I usually switch to passion without noticing but passion and obsession is not the same at all and you rarely notice when they "change". Ofc for me it's easy to notice because when it's passion I am a God in the flesh and if it's obsession then I break my foot on a pebble... And if someone pushes me out of my passion then they can face the depth of my rage or maybe it was obsession on that stage already? Yeah. Not simple. >shit that was put in here at 3-5 year old. I remember when I accepted the process of "education" back in kindergarten. When I was not allowed to play outside anymore because I had to study. I resisted and rebelled ofc but when I seen even the dumbest retard can do it while I cannot sit still because I was "wronged" I accepted it and I remember when I started to read the paper and the task front of me something switched. I turned on the NPC mode. Half my mind went into NPC mode. Still taking that part apart. An absolute resource hog on my psyche that serves no benefit. When I obey those with no natural authority the only way I can do it by "lowering myself below their level" and with that my psyche deteriorates. Those who don't understand true authority might have hard time understanding this. Humility can bypass this but people don't understand what is humility nowadays. They think it's some constant need to hold back and accept the spread of every type of evil forced down their throat. Whatever times change. A new age is coming as it always does. >that i am giving myself divine retribution for something others don't end up paying shit Sorry man I am not seeing the actual problem you are referring now. Feels like you are flagellating yourself because you are "too kind/stupid" or something. But yeah these thoughts happen quite a lot in this stage. The mind just spins and tries to find excuses to hate and rage upon things until you are willing to solve them and let the energies rise. The energy overload makes them spin faster. It's a type of karma if you perpetuate it. >I am preparing a ritual; breaking my shackles and remaking myself as a new being You need like a lvl 2 buff but yeah it might feel like you are breaking the world apart as you cast it for the first time. Gambare! >cutting myself off of humanity for good Hahaha yeah if you consider these short lived short sighted meatbags around you as "human" then yeah you will have to cut away from it to have a high enough vantage point to see what is humanity truly about. >I'll still play human and i still want to help the children but it'll be done in a clear way Yeah. >See that's funny i know how to lift myself but when your awareness get so low and you have no direct memories you're kinda fucked! It's important to find the "ever present" awareness. Sometimes failing a task and giving up pursuing the wrong actions is the choice so you can find a perspective to fix things the right way. >Especially with low self esteem and "if people are mean to me it means i am trash they must be right" Are people that much of a cunts to you? My way is not really better because if they criticize me in a non constructive way my subconscious devises ways how I will get rid of them or their perspective and I am really trying to let go of it. Tho I am really not on the "low self esteem" scale because people need to be truly above me to have a chance to piss on my confidence and if I sense their weakness and rip them apart before even noticing. Something broke in me as a child that made me always think ahead of several steps so I can get rid of anyone who dares to become a problem no matter the situation and I am dismantling that. This hostile mentality just births an even more cruel world. >The idea is to just create a bod and making sure it follows what i want and be a changing body that can shapeshift and never get too lost that way The mind is formless. The body has a form. The body follows the will of the mind. Once you find what it truly means to be formless you will be able to master the forms you "reside over" (instead of thinking you reside only within). I could say more but your mechanism is different from mine. I can feel a powerful "lock" within you that shackles your body into this tense form you are speaking from now. >I want to share some stuff about the spine i noticed the other day but rn i'll just suffer retribution for it, that's how dumb that shit is. Oh this is your shadows doings then. Yeah it's better to solve some issues that to talk about it in some cases. I too only share a very little part of my problems because it's more simple to solve it than to write about it in most cases. >Pict related is a sea angel a type of carnivorous sea slug I too have many interdimensional sea creatures around. Greatest breakers of karma if you don't have elemental spirits at hand. >>4199 >understanding fairness as a human isn't really possible >even if you take past and future lives into considerations What if you can see the complete cycle of existence and turn that "sense of fairness" into an intuitive ability? It's possible but yeah you might not consider those beings that can do it as "human" anymore. It always saddens me. Humans not realizing just how much they can do and turn themselves into sg less than animals as a result. >terrible mistakes are sometimes "necessary" Mistakes into miracles! >free will exist it all depend on which layer you are What if you are at all the layers at once? :) >trying to understand them here just bring anguish and confusion For me it was too much fun for a while. Then I had to accept thinking too much is a harmful addiction because i can just simply "know" everything by default instead... stupid fucking NPC module get out of my brainstem reeee >not every experience is necessary but the understanding of it is Yeah my guides told me I am on the path of understanding and I can skip many parts if I truly willing to "Understand" and utilize myself in my true way instead of faulty preconceptions. >i'll go change my mind more and see how much i can change myself. Have fun! I change my mind like 3 times a day minimum nowadays. >this is an unofficial good bye YOU ARE SCARING THE KIDS BROTHER YOU MADE EGGANON WORRIED >>4202 YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY lmao srsly tho. Don't overdramatize it. That creates attachments and slows down the process. Just do it mang

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>thanks for everything brother. Your welcome. >>4107 >I can tell you were addressing my subconscious more than my conscious all this time, you sure left some pearls! I tried to address your potential. When someone suddenly starts to change you can see which parts of them "light up" and what blocks that light. If the words are said the right way the lightening continues. It's a practice to help others and a reason for me to revisit my own "basics" because I kinda rushed my own process and it's still incomplete. Wanted to write more but this is also too long already (as usual)

>忙 (いそがしい): This character combines the elements of 心 (kokoro, meaning "heart" or "mind") and 亡 (bou, meaning "to perish" or "to lose"). Together, they symbolize a state where one's heart or mind is overwhelmed or preoccupied, reflecting a sense of being busy or hurried. This has revealed a secret to me.

>>4202 Don't worry about me i am simply figuring it out who i truly am! >you aren’t gonna die & reincarnate already, are you? I am tired of that but the answer is both yes and no, i will always be there behind your heart and under your feet. >>4204 Do you remember who i am now? We want the same thing but we couldn't be more different! you could say we are the same! I remember you! not fully but i do! Do you feel it? the pain of the land? You are a dancer too! Will you betray me and come for my head? this time you will fall with me. You know i was wondering why you kept showing me trees, yes the tree is here i FEEL it but that's not who i am, i feel the roots i give birth to them i give them the black soil how could they refuse my cries? I think we can help each other remember brother. If you still don't understand i will bite you. Just a prediction :p It's up to you.

>>4834 >Do you remember who i am now? Yeah I kinda realized which posts you made at the end of the internet a while ago >We want the same thing but we couldn't be more different! you could say we are the same! I remember you! not fully but i do! You know I am thinking about something in the past weeks. I remember when I was looking into how the dragon will grant his authority in the end times. Was looking for a dragon to figure out which one they meant in the scriptures. I know to many dragons and none of them were that. So I found a dragon. He was so large his visage didn't even manage to manifest properly but he had great antler like horns Like Tooru in Maid dragon but more complex. He told me something. He told me he is "giving me his young dragon so I can show him the ways of the humans". I still have a form around that I can call the "essence of the young dragon" but since you appeared I am wondering if it has a deeper meaning or not. >I remember you! not fully but i do! Wonder which version of me you remember. I had and still have many. I do not shapeshift like you do but I evolve to test my mastery within this existence multiple times. Tho I think I am really taking it easy in the past incarnations for some reason. >You are a dancer too! Wonder which dance of mine have you smelled so far. My true dance didn't manage to manifest in this life yet. My legs are like trunks slowly coming back to life currently. >Will you betray me and come for my head? I have a feeling you will offer your head to me for some reason. Not sure why. >I think we can help each other remember brother. I hope so! And hope no one will mess the visions as they appear. Misunderstandings hurt more than blades in some cases. >If you still don't understand i will bite you. You know animals "play bite". Cats and dogs do that too and if you don't resist and they acknowledge you as "One of them" they won't bite through the skin but merely feel it. But when they are disturbed they bite through the skin because their frustration makes them think you are "prey" without noticing. When cats play with my family members they usually bite them but they rarely bite me. The only time a cat bit me when he was frustrated because someone was kicking him out of the house. Had to remind him what he is doing. They learn fast. I didn't have to say much once he snapped out of the negative energies he noticed that he did something wrong and stopped it. > Just a prediction :p It's up to you. Okay I will tell you something that I noticed in your nature in the past weeks. Your "main body" the "shapeshifter" looks like a big white being with small "flowers" on his body. They are not mere "flowers" but more akin gears that can mold and form you into a new being. In the last week your stomach is "opening up" and you are literally vomiting something black. That might be the curse you mentioned your family suffers constantly as they get cancer all the time. But that curse that energy is alive and I have no idea what it tries to do. What I can hear is that it says "Shatter your preconceptions" but I am unsure how it connects to you. Truth is I am unsure what to say. I too am going through a phase where I am noticing I am dissatisfied the way I post on fringe but I am unsure what is the direction I should go into. Time will tell. Btw you are still hiding your teeth fam... no your mouth is sealed shut... >Do you feel it? the pain of the land? Had to look at your land btw. Feels like it wants to vomit. Like a violent diarrhea of black miasma. Seems like the lethargy you felt is not yours alone. Seems like it is a great issue in your environment. >It's up to you. Activated some leyline markers there. Hope it helps you. Parts of your subconscious is like a screaming baby that was dropped into a puddle of dark oil and screams because it burns his skin constantly and think he will be consumed by it. Wonder what is the next step in your development tbh Srsly I am so dissatisfied the way I talk nowadays.

>>4840 >Yeah I kinda realized which posts you made :) >Like Tooru in Maid dragon but more complex This is something the adults have yes, I'll have them one day. > if it has a deeper meaning or not. Come on! you know what Dragons are! >Wonder which version of me you remember. Sorry i can't tell everything. >Wonder which dance of mine have you smelled so far. The spear Dance! You move your spear super fast and it turns into lightning and pierce everything! THE SUN! I only knew how to use a dagger i wanted to learn the spear too! but i can't learn it like you. You see me and think i can just do what you did to learn the spear but it's more like getting attacked by the spear so i get it. Ofc without a spear i can't even create one! Together this gives the sickle my ultimate weapon!..i won't talk further about this. >I have a feeling you will offer your head to me for some reason I am unsure it could very well happen or it's supposed to happen. It's something beautiful. >Cats and dogs do that too and if you don't resist and they acknowledge you as "One of them" they won't bite through the skin but merely feel it Yes! but there is more than one bite! Biting the ears is different, on the neck this is for submission you take control etc There is also the venom bite which can happen in any form where you bite till they get it you push it it gets worse you have to accept the pain. Or the licking of the face where you clean a juvenile/someone you love. >They are not mere "flowers" but more akin gears that can mold and form you into a new being Oh you seen the flowers? that's amazing! I have to realize that body my way. >but I am unsure how it connects to you. snek. >Btw you are still hiding your teeth fam... no your mouth is sealed shut... Yes it is and for a reason. >Seems like it is a great issue in your environment. I don't think you realize the catastrophe that is looming over. We still have time thankfully. >Activated some leyline markers there. Hope it helps you. Thanks! >Srsly I am so dissatisfied the way I talk nowadays. Nah tbh i am happy you talk like that! You need to be more honest instead of censoring yourself like this, you think i can't handle being fried with high energies? That's as much as i can share right now. But it feels nice that you understood it a little everybody is so blind. Another small dormancy period awaits me ughhh But i am glad i said what i wanted to say.

>Mars inferno >is a meteor from above >Literally "Hell from mars" or "Martian hell" >The human world is a martial(martian) hell >is used against a yin dragon >the dragon "eats" it >makes it climb the mountain >realize why I feel the need to be attacked by thunder This is making too much sense.