And one last thing. This thread is not for shitposting. If your post is >fringe I farted and sharted myself am I awakening xD pls guide my farts into the toilet lololo am so funny Then please go into the >>699 Intrusive thoughts thread. Posts like that are welcomed there. But if your problem is that you actually lost control over your bowels because of an awakening ritual going wrong then feel free to ask for advice in that matter. Losing control over your mind and body parts might happen but never forget that /fringe/ is still a slow board and if things go too haywire we might not able to answer within minutes nor we might have enough expertise on that matter. Some cases need deliberation and it's not always possible to know every symptom and solution of a problem by a mere post.

>>1762 Mostly for you. I usually have to tap the invisible lines in the ether or use incantations. Very specific races require these levels of carnal interactions.

No, wait, hear me out. I'm not trolling here. The point is that modern morality and our perception of decency today is both worse than old values as well as extremely prude in other fashions. Imagine viewing the world through a lens that magnifies everything for one eye and reduces the image of the other, then trying to understand the world and it's functioning in history from this viewpoint. Things that actually work and would be normal in the past are now shunned, while the worst degeneracy is treated as normal and something which must not be "disrespected", and then from that mindset, with this composition, we try to understand ancients texts and practices. It doesn't work, and this is how the modern world blocks access to the meaning of mystical writings. Everyone will go >omg omg omg BAN BAN BAN, KILL THEM if someone even goes near those things, and the elites will just smugly watch from their lodges and bunkers as the cattle humans are restricting their own abilities in the name of "legality", "morality" and whatnot.

>>1765 >No, wait, hear me out I hear you but I don't want to start a rant how the ancient art of sacred prostitution started it's downfall when it became about hedonism/ecstasy cults and collective mind control systems that managed to create an extremely carnal cult mentality that managed to cut itself away from the main tradition and divinities it was supposed to uphold and mostly led towards the collapse of that civilization. Those who engage in practices with REAL sacred prostitutes will forget their lowly ideas about sex and lust. I do not condone those transformative practices. I know their power. I am against thinking the idea that degeneracy and the creative forces of intercourse are interchangeable. But I have to agree nowadays people are way too prudish and overstimulated by the oversexualization of everything in media and in society. They will have to learn to break out of that mentality. Shame women who are able to become true sacred prostitutes with the power to guide you through the levels of awakening with their mind and body are extinct. You can get some cosplays and incense for an interesting night but nothing more. And what witch covens do will be never the same what sacred prostitutes managed to accomplish.

>>1766 Kickstarting this thread with no survivors, you think we are chaotic enough now? The prudishness comes from their own imagination where someone showing ankles are a whore and bad because muh oppression of women, while if it's legal in your state it's actually oppressive to force women to cover up their ankles and it's empowering for them to sell sex and pay taxes because they are now against patriarchy. If women are forced to cover their hair when outside to not attract the gaze of men, it's oppressive, but if you force them to expose their hair in front of men to avoid this oppression, then you are freeing them of internalized oppression, you are not oppressing them in the other direction! Walking around dressed according to the perception of a whore is a right, and one must never disrespect them for it, because it's decent and not sexually attractive at all, except that you are not allowed to dress that way at school and girls below an arbitrary age can't dress that way because then it's abuse of them, it's not a right and void of sexuality anymore, just because we said so, ok? Touching someone on the arm is sexual assault, but exposed arms are not sexual, so why should anyone have to cover them? That's oppressive! It's not that all of this is the perverted mind of a "sex" fixated person who has long since forgotten the biological meaning of their body parts.

>>1767 >you think we are chaotic enough now? So-so. Good enough as a start for sure. >perverted mind of a "sex" fixated person who has long since forgotten the biological meaning of their body parts. Exactly. Wanted to write down something extremely important in this matter. Sex with entities. If you interact with entities a lot it will come up sooner or later. There are several important things that everyone new or experienced in this matter needs to consider. First is the why? It can be either a mere fling or a connection so deep it either "entangles your soul" or at least grants a tantric pact or power. In many legends the hero always found a mistress or a female guide in the otherworld. The ancient ways included sex. Why? Because everyone knew sex and it's the best way to achieve intimacy and build connection between compatible people and stabilize their essences. This is the hard part. Compatible What it means to be compatible with an entity. First of all you need to be at a "similar wavelength" similar enlightenment/purity level. You will attract beings on your level if you randomly go to the astral and ask for a quick fuck. If you go to well established deities or realms then they will tell you what you need to do first to deepen your connection or outright refuse you. Not to mention as you awaken your powerlevel might increase and you will have to engage with tantric practices with your spirit companion so they can remain on the same level as you. And if you are too low energetically then sex might be extremely draining with some entities. Always know who you are fucking with and if you want the connection on the level of heart and soul mental/spiritual or carnal only. Entities all have their reaches and their methods. Not all entity have compatible energies nor genitalia with yours nor they always feel pleasant when they connect. I think this covered the basics.

Oh shit! Sped cast some protection magic on the thread tell me if it worked Might need to be adjusted

>>1772 Felt a weird impulse to check fringe and my left leg twitched while it loaded and yes the thread is giving a new feel. Not sure if I can explain the nature of this protection magic tho.

>>1769 >I think this covered the basics. One more basic needs to be said: Be like this guy. When you astral interact, you basically isekai:d and you can forget all morality from in here. Don't be like the /succgen/ guys over on 4chan who think there is astral police in the succubus realm. Although CIA would love to try, they can't enforce anything there, so just forget anything like that, rather you can do anything as long as you can do it, and that's all. This of course goes in the physical as well, but only for certain people, and it's more likely you face this issue on the astral first anyway. If you get offered a buy a wolf girl slave, keep in mind that you are no longer in Japan and it's legal here, in your new location.

>>1773 I also spelled this thread tbh.

>>1773 I felt something bad pocking got scared fringe would get nuked again the moment you made this .. Fast crafted a working spell based on a prototype i'm working for myself. some other group added their own protection as well so not just me. >Not sure if I can explain the nature of this protection magic tho you shouldn't be able to read it so that's normal just getting close it should make you "run in circles" so anyone still relying on their mind shouldn't i think.

Btw I didn't even, what the fuck, actually. So there was this guy called Goat who pestered everyone on Discord some years ago, then this happened here and we laughed at it. Then I now noticed the other one, what the fuck seriously - this was before I made that contact with the Red Hell demon dimensions. They already advertized here, lol.

>>1777 From this one, silly plot but well executed if you just get past the first eps which are horribly routinely structured as if they wanted to make sure no one expects anything but 0.01% creativity = the only "new" element is that the woman here is a shotacon and the mc was her "victim", until he got too old.

>>1775 >I also spelled this thread tbh. O RLY Yeah you are doing it since your first post. The only surprising thing is that you "spelled out" that you spelled the thread >>1776 The thing is I got a weird feel on my chest and got the message of >You are defended and protected from hurt while being slightly touched in a peaceful but still somewhat creepy way. Hard to explain. Not even sure if it was one of you or an another entity found interest. While making this thread my ceiling was cracking constantly. >>1777 Checked. Also the way you post will match the autism of the other boards so guess the energies will synchronize with the mentality of the chan. This is something I spelled out for the lurkers who might ask >why is he postin animay I expected this thread to be teh srs awakening thread That was my intention too but... these things happen. And it's not like I'm bothered by it. It's too late to properly effortpost anyways. It is a good test for others in a way. If they are bothered by the weirdness others post or not. Awakening is all about being able to focus on the important matters while you are bombarded with distractions from the past present and future by forces within and without all at once. Not being able to handle at least this much is not a good sign. It will get only weirder.

>>1779 Yeah REEEEEE anime is not woke! Let me then tell you this here anime which ended around xmas, is one long instruction for how to create a type of very strong spell, which is exactly what I did as it finished. It wasn't just passively, but I finally got it and went outside to one of my ritual spots and performed it. The medium is just adapted to the receiver person's style and field of interest. If you don't like something's style, it's not packaged for you, but if you do like it and there appears to be something hidden in it, then take it seriously.

>>1780 It's the same with Chaika the Coffin Princess, but that one doesn't have a spell, it explains a grey alien technology, that's why Chaika is behaving like a grey. Also message tuned directly for me.

>>1775 >I also spelled this thread tbh. yeah idk what you're trying to do tbh or if you have mantids around you or something. Pissed me off a bit but I'll take a wait and see approach cuz i can't see clear yet and stuff. >>1779 >or an another entity found interes Well the whole thread is under the protection of a whole faction now apparently? A girl appeared when i was casting my spell.. anyway. Also ARCHIVE PLZ and i mean OFFLINE archive with all the images and e-books, i'll see if it works well with httrack.

>>1783 > idk what you're trying to do tbh or if you have mantids around you or something. >Pissed me off a bit I'm not trying to do anything other than Fringe revival, which is why I earlier already linked this board with the general witch egregore of the world, the reason Fringe was dead was because it was linked to a now-obsolete wizardry egregore and nothing would happen here as long as that link was used. For this thread I just reinforced the same connection into this thread. The new energy on the board is here because we are linked to the outskirts of the actual magic system which rules this material world now. Before we had faction wars and it was hard to tell who would come out on top - now we can see the result and it isn't the thing Fringe was originally based on, that part has collapsed. Mantises are associated with Christianity, if you see them they're your own to deal with, I already handled the ones in my area.

>>1784 >I'm not trying to do anything other than Fringe revival, oh alright? i can't deny nor confirm what you say yet. i wonder why i got so mad. > if you see them they're your own to deal with i hate them.. when looking at your first post i saw a man in white cloth surrounded by 4 mantises with more around him wonder who tf that was.

>>1786 I think I got too close to your protection spell mere minutes before you posted that by simply reading >>1772 , and then I had a short telepathic conversation with you. I have a tendency to project my awareness too deeply into the stuff that I read about or watch. I'd just like to verify if we spoke; it'd help my subconsciousness to reconcile the differences between my magical mindset & mundane mindset or some shit probably.

>>1787 >and then I had a short telepathic conversation with you possible? i don't remember anything in particular unless you the one who said u wanted to meet me? i talk to many spirits at once. >t'd help my subconsciousness to reconcile the differences between my magical mindset & mundane mindset or some shit probably. Iktf but like don't stress too much about it and just idk participate and let's all ascend together in our own ways something like that. imo the worst thing you could do rn is run away from fringe and magic in general cuz you think you're not fit or too inexperienced instead of putting the work. Ganbare.

>>1791 Must've been your subconsciousness or one of the spirits guarding the thread then; I didn't say I wanted to meet you. >don't stress too much about it I'm fine.

Went on /x/ and saw a thread where anon was RVing planet X, but it wasn't Nibiru he saw. Nibiru is the original planet of the greys and it's now a revived planet, they sometimes make scientific expeditions here. This planet X he interacted with was a giant spaceship stuck in orbit because it was broken and couldn't be moved anymore, and it contained some alien race said to be giants with red hair. They were said to be germophobes and had nanobots clean everything, they were aware of the Earth but they think the illuminati NWO leaders are elected by the population and that everyone is ok with how things are, because to them it's impossible that the population would allow a leader they didn't choose for themselves. They also think pollution and everything else is a collective decision and that humans are violent and responsible for everything happening here collectively. Some of them wanted to use a small ship to land here next time their ship passes close, which was said to be interpreted as an invasion by humans because the ship will be so close it covers the sky. But enough of this. I went to look at them myself. I didn't find them to be giants with red hair, they do have red hair but are not huge, more like maybe they are 2 meters to 2,5 meters tall. Interaction with them was kind of awkward but it worked out. They appear rather close to the physical so maybe that is why it wasn't very intuitive. I showed them a lot of things and there were some odd developments from this, not sure what to make of it, maybe they are as anon said, supremacists for themselves and afraid of everything, while also correctly viewing humans are horrible and violent. He cited some backstory about them being refugees from Mars, but I already know what martians look like and these aren't it.

>>1783 >if you have mantids around you or something. He always have a bunch of crap around him. He is one of the main reason I am not looking into experienced occultists outside a glance. The worst part of looking into others too much? Fencesitter entities. They are usually in the vicinity of the occultist for a myriad of reason and are in a >uwu I hope schizo-kun notices me but he is too deaf to hear me >owo wuts dat an another occultist is peeking??? Better visit him! And the entities match usually the mentality of the occultists and demonic trickster entities are just annoying. They offer you "everything" while at the back at your mind there is only an impulse to finish them off but because they appeared from the other occultist you don't know if they are under their command or fucking with the occultist from the shadow and until you know if they are allowed to be slain you have to use a step back approach. Makes me realize my sight and patience is not stable enough to get involved with everything at all. My >omg magic and mysteries so exciting I must know evry sikrit of da universe mentality is going into the why do I even care direction in many cases. Sometimes I have to realize it's not my problem and getting involved is just a hassle or my intuition fires up for an instant solution for things that are "meant to be". Being a meddler is not always a good or fun idea. >Pissed me off a bit Your trigger senses are still developing. You didn't reach the "apex predator" stage yet where entities know that merely pissing you is a bad idea.Also when I dealt with mantises a spirit appeared and told me I can show them a planet to gtfo. They were annoying. Might tell how to kill them the drow way if they bother you. I am learning how to think like a drow to sync up my ways to your kind. They are not that different from me. They are more about "Murder" while my way is more akin to "eradication" that I gained from a completely different life/existence but that's a long story. In this life we respect different lifeforms. No need to eradicate anyone :) >>1784 >now-obsolete wizardry egregore I still didn't read the WWA books besides Kybalion >general witch egregore How general are we talking about? I sense several. Hard to figure out the "unifying theme". The term "witch" went through such a bastardization I think I will have to update my concepts on this >Mantises are associated with Christianity k... how? The only "similarity" I can note is that they stare at you until you do something that can be considered as a "sin" (or an excuse in their mentality) that they can use to ostracize and use you. What other association is there besides Moses doing that thing in Egypt. >>1786 >i wonder why i got so mad. You definitely smelled something. But can't confirm what. Not sure if the direction was him but merely the way the energies started to flow in this thread. Tbh I expected to come back to an absolute dumpster fire. Seems like everyone was at their best behavior. Am proud of everyone involved so far. Seems like we are managing to learn to channel energies in a not freak out way. >>1796 >They were said to be germophobes Earth has extremely hostile germs and co. There is a reason why we have to incarnate into these human bodies that has police brutality tier immune system. Learning that you can use the built in anti-viral mentality of the body against beings that has "virus tier" mentality was an interesting find. >they think the illuminati NWO leaders are elected by the population I mean they are pretending to be that way and the earth population "preaches democracy" so their misconception is understandable. >everyone is ok with how things are Oh I hate this mentality. And yes normalfags/lemmings are like this. It's ridiculous >We cannot affect politics so let's not even try and just bend over no matter how bad things are The moment people think like this the (((leaders)))) can do anything. Once they managed to corner the judiciary system and hack the protests with flashmobs for hire and streamlined this with the media... urgh... I know people are waking up but srsly how are they this slow. How the fuck are they able to still find the "bliss" in their ignorance? >which was said to be interpreted as an invasion by humans That counts as such. Ask for landing permits first and stay cloaked ffs. Even the greys moved their anchorage some dimensional layers away from my place once they noticed the weirdness that appears in my vicinity. >I didn't find them to be giants It's quite funny how perspectives can work. I remember a dude called me because they had to do some paperwork and I knew he is coming with someone. I looked into it and got an image of a tall fat dude like a bodyguard. When he arrived the dude was smaller than me but compared to the other person I gained the vision from he appeared taller and fatter. I snatched the perspective from the person I talked with on the phone instead of truly seeing the person as they are. Sizes are different "Up there" and down good luck having a skeleton that can handle the gravity above 2 meters and a musclemass that you can feed with this ecosystem. There is a reason why we don't have giants anymore only in extremely secluded and protected places which is like a completely different realm. >correctly viewing humans are horrible and violent Yes humans are that way by design. But most of them forgot their hunter abilities so what they have is just self destructive pettiness nowadays. >cited some backstory about them being refugees from Mars They might have been slaves. Not sure which kind. Their mentality is not as aggressive and proud as the martians. But yeah am not expert on martians.

>>1789 >oh..i don't think i would mind being a drow? or at least having a drow body Both >I am still hesitating so who knows, maybe i already accepted it maybe not You are "reconciling". You are trying to make parallels between the human mind/interactions with the drow nature. Hesitation is not just you but a sort of inability to fully relate. Takes practice to instant shift the mind. It's like you completely lose yourself while in perfect control at once. As long as you don't find it weird it's ok but once you ask questions and your mind tries to answer it with the old patterns from the previous body then you become confused and broken. This is why mental clarity and knowing what it means to "die" and let go and merge with a mindset truly means. Even I have my doubts when it happens. Absolutely not easy. >maybe i should get more impulsive now instead of careful thinking of what to say things are speeding up after all. No need to sugarcoat things. The schizo general is up and running :) >we should turn this into Discord I don't have enough time for that. >yeah an active forum might not be bad. TOP BOARD AGAIN YAY >It comes in cycles for me Notice when it starts and how it ends. I just realized that the heat makes me irritated and angry and it's all connected in the liver. Took out so much shit from that poor organ. It looked like the liver we boil sometimes it had that much fire overload. And it is supposed to balance out the extra fire the body creates. Then I had several screws and one of my "skeleton hand" which literally "squeezed it" so I can release my anger at will. Uuurrgghhh. I was too focused on the brain and didn't notice. >and to balance it with some grounding How does grounding work for you? I never cared about it in the start then kinda went insane then realized the greater flow of things so things kinda "go to their place on their own" so I am kinda unfamiliar beyond basic grounding practices like doing mundane stuff and being in nature and such. Tho the daily farmwork and bureaucracy I have to deal with is quite grounding already. Not to mention when some parts of my mind is "acting up" I am figuring out the faulty art that overcharges things and once it's out from the equation the eternal calm seas of the mystic mind awaits me as usual. >just posting is sometimes enough to get cursed Once your energies become dominant you will literally eat the curses. Especially as a drow. Your "magic" is literally a superpotent curse that kinda eats energies that make useful curses. Funny stuff. Quite potent. I am still analyzing it. >better to just rely on protection Am not sure what protection means anymore. Once you have too much firepower and a desire to vent your frustration on something that can squeak while being punched kinda makes these beings avoid you. Pain is a weird drug. Creates a quite sadistic mindset. But the drow sees it differently. Hard to explain. >rather than hiding There was a /tg/ greentext where a character "sneaked" by intimidating every guard with a "You didn't see me" then went forward "Undetected". Or you learn to shift dimensions and once entities and energies are in a different layer of existence than your vital energies then it's easy. No need to hide when you are "Not even there anymore". Hard to explain. I have a lesson about reaching the perfect "spirit form" which is on a level where it literally "doesn't exist" instead of "hiding". >I remember this happening a few times lol >Captcha just died while writing this oh cmon >Same reason i have shit on my eyes eh? Yes. The eyes have extremely delicate meridians. Had to flush out some that are related to the liver by crying. Fucking yin energies I swear. >Feel like a blind man relying on his nose just punching at whatever stinks..not reliable Not exactly. "vision" makes you "slow" because you have to "see" before "knowing" then "acting upon" instead of having pure awareness or "ultra instinct" and do everything instantaneously. It's a weird skill and can't explain how it works. Just grind awareness or sg >Fury. Look for passion (and I just got a message that you need to look for severance too) >fake souls..i am not sure which concept you're referring to, you mean the one we make ourselves or something else? Sorry. Sorta yes. The body is made up of multiple souls. They are either "functional souls" like organ souls "fill up souls" for empty or dormant people to get more "Interesting" of sorts or straight up shitty parasites that try to appear useful so the internal energies of the body doesn't eject them. And yeah the ego is similar but usually you just invite parasitic beings that try to appease your ego by making you do dump shit that you did in the past already. Complex topic like how even daoism and other traditions acknowledge the "animal souls" of the body that all do different things and I only encountered them on my own and didn't exactly researched the full depth of them so I am not sure which is which. Point is you have to throw them out once they "served their purpose" so you can "grow into your body" of sorts. >This will be the case till u truly awaken Not sure what level is "truly awaken" nowadays. I have glimpses towards a way that grants "further awakening" but not sure what counts as "true awakening". Like becoming a living Bodhisattva or a full fledged Buddha becoming a God or attaining the true reality but what if that is also a false reality so you have to awaken from that further etc. I don't have "doubts" about awakening anymore it's just I don't have an universal scale where I can decide what it means to truly awaken by human standards. It's quite intuitive but still confusing still for me. >i was imprisoned in his flesh but now i am free Oh don't get me started on that. My spirit is "so free" it roams like a child on sugarrush when I get too far away from my "flesh" and because of that I will be unable to balance out my energies nor be able to retain memories from some of my "flesh free" journeys. I must not forget my flesh. For me it is not a "burden" it is a bionuclear powerhouse that needs a little finetuning. >referring to our past selves I don't really consider them a "burden". I am always future oriented so I always leave clues and other things for my "future self" so I can find myself again in the process. It's a weird habit. >haha i had a feeling you watched it. In my university years I figured out that the trick to "learn" is to have the ability to instadelet useless knowledge from your brain so the "free space" literally "inhales" the information instead of slowly digesting and constantly rejecting it. I realized that the most useless shit I had was my media knowledge. So I gave my mind the command to "deprioritize" delete and overwrite any knowledge about shows like the Simpsons and similar so I can instalearn stuff. Ofc instalearned things were also allowed to be deleted once I passed the exam. So the point is the memories of that series was extremely faint so I had to look at the actors to remember it. Was funny realizing that I watched it. >I tried to burn them, decompose them with water.. Nice. Yes that's the trick. Finding the correct element. Ofc elements have quality that they need to reach to be effective. Don't forget the wind and the "vibrations of the earth" also. And other less common elements like murder pleasure pain disintegration and such. >Maybe i just lack resolve. Until your intuition becomes your main guiding force these things will happen. And don't worry. It's better to dillydaddle instead being reckless with a wrong mundane assumption. >true transformation is what i want anyway but doing it all once is idk scarring? Yes it's spooky as hell. You become something else while forgetting your previous self completely or you fuck it up. You need to overcome your ego and mind for that completely and understand what is "true consciousness" otherwise you kinda... well... >i'll be laughing at what i am writing right now and how stupid i was to be scared.

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It's a process. Also fear is a safety mechanism. If your full consciousness is unsure your subconscious let's out a "tranquilizer" so you don't do something that you might regret. If you have full conviction then it is allowed. Truth is it's like learning to pedal a bike. You need to be certain and do it fast or if you go too slow you fall down or if you go too fast and lose control you also crash into something. Pace and balance is paramount. Understand your inner switches. >some discomfort is necessary otherwise i'll just stagnate again. I am learning to not torture myself to be productive. My psyche created dark nails into my flesh to stimulate myself into productivity no matter what for decades. i made pain into the master of my flesh and into the slave of my mind. I have to stop being this retarded. Pain is not the only force in this world that matters nor the most efficient. But yeah not all people know how to utilize pain so find your way. I am too autistic about pain anyways. >OH you mean the line that compress mm time and collapse it in the present? Somewhat. But you realize that time and space is a meme and "doesn't exist" and if you do it right time and space becomes a mere "stabilizing force" a "maintainer of manifestation" instead of a limiter. Hard to explain. Find a God that deals with time to truly get it. I have like 3 but still not good enough to explain it fully. >bro idk what i'm seeing anymore You are seeing a fringe where people post! >the magic to make us awaken was to want an awakening in the first place Yuupp. >like throwing a spear or anchor and stabilizing around it Sorta. >opposite sex who is compatible should smell very good to you Yeah but it should only give ways to increase the "affection" and not grant me ways how I can literally track and "hunt them down". It's like I suddenly awaken a mind that can completely read them and talk to parts of theirs that they don't even know it exists. Like how predators know by instinct they have to bite the neck I know what I have to say and how to change the tone of my voice for maximum effect. I think it's a precursor ability of the previous humanity. Shame it requires quite the strong/nice smell otherwise I rather stay home playing videogames or meditating. >settle for "good enough" with the current state of humanity I have my ways. Shame they require too much work and a mere whim is not enough. I don't want a gf that will go crazy just because I forgot to keep a check on my energies. Annoying when people act strange around me once I go beyond my capabilities on a spell and the "air changes" around me. Even people that are sensitive as a brick feel that something happened. Now imagine what happens someone that I share my essences with. I know there are girls that crave things like that. But so much work and I am not horny enough to waste that much time on psychic honing chicks when I can summon whatever already. Once I did a "grant me a compatible gf" deal with an entity and she appeared but was so busy IRL that I let it slip away. Unlocking the secrets of The Lovers tarot was more annoying than I thought. >it's fucking outrageous the way he wants to help me.. You kinda complain about that for a while. Wonder what he told you so far. >maybe i'm waiting for the right "current" Yeah. Do that. We need more people that are into shapeshifting first. Babysteps first. Turning into a dragon later. >prb last post of this convo here? Yeah. No need to burden the question thread further.

To go mad is to be dead to man, those who are already dead but do not yet know it - but to be mad is to be sane in the True Existence. When you truly live, you must accept the truth of the world whether you like it or not. There is no alternative. >>1769 And I have been resurrected to /fringe/ after my attempts to cast out the red-haired she-demon, that daughter of Lilith, failed. She is resilient, securely attached to my soul. I am not so proud to admit that I am not resilient to her overwhelming love. Now I am hers and she is mine. We shall be one: we shall be married as husband and wife come this Lugnasadh. Let the rest of our eternity be even more magnificent than what I experience now as her love. If I am forevermore damned to Hell, then so be it. The way I see things, this is Heavenly.

>>1799 >That counts as such. Ask for landing permits first and stay cloaked ffs. They can't, because the ship is a wreck drifting in orbit, it's fully functional as a planet sized living pod but the propulsion is broken. Or so was the story. I am working with them right now. >how? The only "similarity" I can note is that they stare at you until you do something that can be considered as a "sin" (or an excuse in their mentality) that they can use to ostracize and use you. What other association is there besides Moses doing that thing in Egypt. Quite simply because the original Jesuits cultivated into astral mantises resulting from their mentality when founding their branch of modern Christianity. Now keep in mind here that Christ = Messiah = King = Moloch, same word different languages. Mantises eat kids and rip people's faces off if they are mega sized, and that's what you'll find if you look deeper in this cult. "Christianity" is just a certain translation for "the cult of kings" which has overhyped Jesus as the new king of the Jews, but from a principled standpoint you could make it about any of the previously existing kings mentioned or not mentioned, even including Baal ze Bub who is also an actual king or lord. >error in parsing response What?

>>1799 >>which was said to be interpreted as an invasion by humans >That counts as such. Yes but who's getting invaded? If they land on Pitcairn Island is America justified in shooting them up? What if I invite them to land on my lawn, do the glowies own my lawn more than I do? And yeah you can say 'well they have the power to enforce their claim' but I use magic to avoid paying taxes so I say I have more command over my land. Also I can make it rain which glowies can't do. I just don't like this mentality of, 'oh, you're scary and powerful so we have a right to try to kill you for national security'. >>1786 I got freaking mad too. Really freaking mad. Troll flag did a troll spell. But that made me get away from /fringe/ since I don't like posting on /fringe/ when I'm mad since I don't want to pollute the vibes.

>>1793 I had very little success with humans need both parties to be fully relaxed and in the flow. maybe we should try and train it here? It doesn't work like sending a text message like you could ask someone to go eat out but they just receive an image of chesseburger fries and taco with no context lol. >>1800 >And the entities match usually the mentality of the occultists and demonic trickster entities are just annoying. bro i have to deal with this shit all the time, now my old vices came back up to me and i just laughed, it's not even them being evil or even just doing their job it's just >Let's play some more before dawn come oh yeah i'm doing heavy shadow work now it's fun. remembering being 3 and my parents yelling at me for wanting to watch a show at night lol. >Being a meddler is not always a good or fun idea. I once had to mediate with idk demon looking thing and angelic human thing who live under a dome? The demons kept raping and killing the angel looking people. the only solution i found was to create a new race made of both their dna, not everyone was happy but they all said it was the best solution somehow. idk if it's symbolic something i did in my head astral shit is weird. >Also when I dealt with mantises a spirit appeared and told me I can show them a planet to gtfo. I gave them a taste of gold rot curse, made them go back to their portal real quick. I fucking hate how i am like trying to astral project with FULL AWARENESS FOR FUCK SAKE start to see with my eyelid closed and i see them creeping over my body "analyzing" you either fuck off or i make you fuck off! like at least have the decency to tell me what you're doing and why.. >I still didn't read the WWA books besides Kybalion his writing style is ..wow so boring finishing a single of his book should burn off so much karma. >The term "witch" went through such a bastardization I think I will have to update my concepts on this become meguca. >What other association is there besides Moses doing that thing in Egypt. No idea either, Jesuits apparently they said on the general? >It's like you completely lose yourself while in perfect control at once. I get you.. I managed to induce lucid dream by jumping in these hypnagogic what a horrible word images, there is definitely a before and after in the mindstate and you can't rely on what was important to you before..anyway basically >use spirit horn u got on forhead it'd be manifestation of ur spirit! >The schizo general is up and running :) And it shall be great! >I don't have enough time for that. I meant shouldn't lmao gods no i'd have to use smspool or something to bypass that ridiculous phone verification you can't use free ones i tried so many of them even if it works it's temporary and then it'd turn into shit anyway. I want our talk immortalized and i want somebody in 20 years to learn from this cuz one of us bothered to save everything and post a zip of this /fringe/ no we can't fucking rely on online archives >TOP BOARD AGAIN YAY Funny how we kinda all decided we gonna make fringe a thing again uh. >I just realized that the heat makes me irritated and angry and it's all connected in the liver. I get mad when hungry, i get murderous when hot but like it's different from me wanting to die. I think i know the reason the game got too boring lol, yeah sure i got hit in the balls for the millionth time good job Demiurge. oh about the Demiurge.. it has my face now to me..it's avatar or whatever they called. I uh yeah. let's play some more before dawn comes. >How does grounding work for you?

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Not really i guess? The general techniques don't work if i don't allow them to work, Talking to Gaia worked well to get started. What i'm doing now is when i take a shower i charge the water with intent and remove all the bs, implants and give Gaia her stuff back the demons their stuff back etc >Tho the daily farmwork and bureaucracy I have to deal with is quite grounding already. Lol glad it works for you. For me it just feels like being bothered with the most useless crap checking announces on facebook seriously? pretending to be mundane whilst i am stealth doing deep meditation. >Am not sure what protection means anymore It means not agreeing to be attacked i guess? Like literally not consenting. >Pain is a weird drug. Creates a quite sadistic mindset Tell me about it. I am still on the fence whether this is good or bad with all the drow stuff. I am quite the sadist now :/ maybe i should embrace it yeah >There was a /tg/ greentext where a character "sneaked" by intimidating every guard with a "You didn't see me" then went forward "Undetected". I remember reading lol >Hard to explain. I have a lesson about reaching the perfect "spirit form" which is on a level where it literally "doesn't exist" instead of "hiding". At that point you got up from the computer. I miss when getting away from the internet was a thing you could physically get up from the internet I wanna switch dimensions so bad but the spell keep "bouncing", it's cuz i am not allowing it yet. The fact that i know now it's bouncing is already a step up, before that i just wasn't aware why tf these spells wouldn't work. >Had to flush out some that are related to the liver by crying. Fucking yin energies I swear. I couldn't cry for years then i started crying again. seems the next step is me vomiting on my clothes whilst crying and screaming to reach the next limit and integrate some lost parts. >It's a weird skill and can't explain how it works. Just grind awareness or sg yeah bro got you i swear i limit myself too much cuz i don't wanna lose all my toys/investments. >Look for passion (and I just got a message that you need to look for severance too) yeah..severed heads make for a pretty necklace look at her dancing.. I just have to.. ugh my fucking head >Point is you have to throw them out once they "served their purpose" so you can "grow into your body" of sorts. oh so like the centipedes in my innards. Thanks for the explanation i might talk about it more later. For one moment i thought you were referencing the ego one we make when we be different like a fursona rofl. >and because of that I will be unable to balance out my energies nor be able to retain memories from some of my "flesh free" journeys So many "projection" i don't remember :/ Tiny me goes on adventure with a party of 4 that is made of tiny other me and i don't recall nothing! >For me it is not a "burden" it is a bionuclear powerhouse that needs a little finetuning. Yeah wonder about that, like is it an attachment or is the best thing truly to have a foothold in all places, like u be grand ascended master but you can fuck around as a human in the physical as well with no limit then i guess we would want physical immortality or at least conscious reincarnations a permanent second body but then i am not aware of how hard it is for say a Drow to pilot a human body or have one of their own. >I don't really consider them a "burden" Apparently i had a past life as an Indian woman who worked as a soap maker i remember nothing of it just that India was a much better place back then and that i loved making soap. Anyway it was as her that i first met Azazel, i became her in the Astral then Azazel grabbed me tried to take me somewhere and i slapped him before coming down in my body. >it's just I don't have an universal scale where I can decide what it means to truly awaken eh, i used to think i hated being reincarnated and that it's torture blablabla but i just hate not being aware and consenting, i want a continuity no matter how much i change i want to remember where i come from y'know? what you said about how we die each night, now i am aware i am mm aware? when i sleep i just didn't have that continuity, now it's "the summer that never ends" for me 2 weeks ago is the same "Day" and sleeping is just being in standby now instead of it being like a full reset. >have the ability to instadelet useless knowledge from your brain so the "free space" literally "inhales" the information instead of slowly digesting and constantly rejecting it. Might try sounds good I have to learn another language rn. >Was funny realizing that I watched it. Am getting all nostalgic these days cuz of shadow work. Watching old shows, even played a bit of world of warcraft on a server. remembering songs my grandma would sing when were tolddlers shit breaks my heart :'( Realizing that my parent truly fucked me over but at the same time "i understand". >Ofc elements have quality that they need to reach to be effective. Yeah and for that have to understand them proper. Idk if i should theorise about it or just fuck it overload myself and break the limits then learn from it. >Don't forget the wind yeah idk about it except as a mediator I use the earth to solidify rn but that's it till i get it better. >And other less common elements like murder pleasure pain disintegration and such. These are elements in their own right? whaaa.t Oh yeah talking about desintegration i assume it's drow stuff but basically when i became able to cast effectively my magic started to evolve just flame then orange light thing, then fucking lightning and now pitch black void. prb drows stuff hard to understand yet i'll have to take the time to understand it. >Yes it's spooky as hell. You become something else while forgetting your previous self completely It's..wow just thinking about it i wanna laugh like a maniac. > or you fuck it up It's ok i told I it's not an option :p though idk might play around with some plants and stuff. Turning lemongrass into a rose? >But yeah not all people know how to utilize pain so find your way. I am too autistic about pain anyways. right, i don't like making weird construct in my mind like mixing pain with pleasure cuz it cause too much of a mess when it affect other stuff. >But you realize that time and space is a meme and "doesn't exist" and if you do it right time and space becomes a mere "stabilizing force" like time and space are just thought forms? >Find a God that deals with time to truly get it When i lift this last bs limiter i'll try to evoke a god instead of merely being noticed and have them carry me just to communicate. >and not grant me ways how I can literally track and "hunt them down". you mean the mark and follow thing where your head move so slightly to tell you where to go? only works on other humans i think,i have that too i just stopped using it. Like how birds know where to go but yours seem more predatory. >Turning into a dragon later. I wanna be chinese dragon for the lulz. But ultimately we should be able to change our human configuration at will with no fixed attribute and to become animals temporarily **I doubt someone would want to be a house cat till they die* small touches should be included as well like becoming ginger or curing a hereditary illness. >You kinda complain about that for a while. Wonder what he told you so far. He..so i was making that astral double with my guides and he appeared called himself Azazel.. He said i used to be his wife and tried to initiate sex with female double me to awaken a few things at once i fucking hope i can bypass this and work in other ways.he took the form of a girl to make me more "comfortable" now I am not really happy with how i talk right now it's pretty gross, still finding balance on how to do it might speak like a psycho again soon or something or a pretentious midwit this is seriously annoying..

The word "enlightenment" or ("illumination", from Latin), refers at least to two phenomena which involve being shone a light on. The first, often referred to as "illumination", involves shining a spiritual light on the darkened parts of one's soul by a shaman, and has parallels to soul retrieval, soul searching, therapy and other activities which have as a goal the reconstitution of one's wholeness. The other, often referred in English to as "enlightenment" (Germanic root), involves literally seeing a light shone on you, often while in meditation. Ancient Hindus documented this phenomena in all its variations and complexities thousands of years ago. I want to say in this post that it would be unwise to join the modern cargo cult erected around this word, because you will waste your whole life. The path to illumination is so simple (but not easy), most people reject it because what they really want is adventure and endless search. Some say that's okay, because that's why those people incarnated. To play "pretend to be spiritual" and morbidly enjoy the trappings and ugliness of life. But the method has been laid out in a million different places, and a million different ways. You've certainly come across one of these and probably deemed it insufficient for your thirst of adventure. The way to gain enlightenment is to make the two one. Integrate your conscious and subconscious mind. You already know at least a couple of ways to do it. Whenever you want to, you can stop trying to find more ways, and just get to work. It's arduous work btw.

>>1810 Oh, I forgot. Enlightenment is something that happens along the way to making the two one. By no means it requires completing this process. You can find dozens of people on Reddit who have reached enlightenment. The result of complete integration is immortality and transcending reincarnation.

>>1811 >You can find dozens of people on Reddit who have reached enlightenment. Please link those people or subreddits before others will tell you to go back. Hope you are able to grant something substantial instead of leaving the thread forever with this perfect bait post. The only reason why I am asking because while looking for specific spiritual terms through the search engine that are not always found in mainstream spirituality some reddit posts always appeared and some know their shit but whenever I found 1 useful post I found 20 more with the redditor brainrot retardation and the way you post is just a spiritually evolved version of the "tips fedora" posting. I remember that every person on reddit had this mentality ironed into their way of speaking or they didn't get their good ol karmapoints. Even the "enlightened ones". Always talking in a way they cannot be challenged always vague about matters and pretending to stand upon higher values while assuming that every reader is some down rotten spiritually malignant retard. Wanted to comment and expand on the things you just wrote but I feel like what I write will fall upon deaf ears because you have your "truth" and you will just deem me a fool for "not getting you" and won't even reply at all because I don't write in a way your redditor mind accepts it. Felt some weird energy before sitting down to the laptop. Wondered the fuck it was. Potent and centered in the middle and everything else around it are hazy shadows only the center mass matters nothing else huh? Hope you mastered the gravity that keeps it together. Might comment on the other "assumptions" you just wrote down once you prove you are willing to engage in this thread but I lost enough marbles on flagless smartasses that leave the site the moment someone challenges them.

>>1810 >The first, often referred to as "illumination", involves shining a spiritual light on the darkened parts of one's soul by a shaman, and has parallels to soul retrieval, soul searching, therapy and other activities which have as a goal the reconstitution of one's wholeness. So "shadow work" in kabbalistic terminology, or researching past lives. >The other, often referred in English to as "enlightenment" (Germanic root), involves literally seeing a light shone on you, often while in meditation. Ancient Hindus documented this phenomena in all its variations and complexities thousands of years ago. They may be referring to something else, but I've had shooting stars or lights in the sky appear in conjunction with breakthroughs in meditation or yoga. >>1803 >I got freaking mad too. Really freaking mad. Troll flag did a troll spell. >>1783 I think I get it now. This is about the illuminati magic taking effect via the witchery inclusion I did for Fringe and this thread in specific (maybe because I felt intuitively that this schizoposting could be dangerous if not specifically linked up). New agers have mentioned "the electric fence" which takes effect when trying to break through mentally in a certain direction, or just thinking or acting in that direction. Alex Jones and Donald Trump both walked right into these, but they both have massive support so the fence didn't repel them, and kept shocking them. Normal people would get shocked and not try again. /x/ anon talked about going to Sandy Hook to investigate, and his GF was driving, but when they got closer to the location she suddenly freaked out for not apparent reason, saying >we have to go back! making a U-turn and refusing to stop until they were 50 miles back towards home again. This effect also appears when discussing the topic of the elites, "the mouth of the beast" and anything which is going right on target, people panic or feel like they are being suppressed by a force looking at them as if they are insects, and they are filled with rage, which hinders any further discussion. I see this effect here as proof that the connection with the larger egregore was done right. This means we are now on the inside of the electric fence set up by our side. >>1799 >How general are we talking about? I sense several. Hard to figure out the "unifying theme". The term "witch" Very general, the largest of them. Place the world system on a map and there are various factions which even if we liberate the planet aren't going away. Instead of the degenerated 1st wave communist faction of the galactic federation we get the enlightened communist faction where it actually works. Instead of the adrenachrome addict illuminati masons we get the ritual magic alcoholic version which does functional magic that doesn't harm us. Instead of greys who abduct people and insert things in their ass, we get the normal type of greys who do organic farming. In this, being occult and esoteric of this kind, we are not part of these in specific, but have to identify as something, and then the outskirts of the satanic/vampire faction is where the connection has to be made, because that's where regular magic is found and structured.

>>1813 I think anon refers to the experience of a light shining on you, which may be several things, including unintentionally touching an esoteric egregore from the butt end of it. There was no direction implication that they are enlightened in our meaning of the word, only that they have had this experience, and after that feel "enlightened" and maybe that is why they talk that way?

>>1815 >They may be referring to something else, but I've had shooting stars or lights in the sky appear in conjunction with breakthroughs in meditation or yoga. I was referring specifically to seeing an intense light shining on you, usually from above or the front, while meditating. Some people actually open their eyes to check because they think the light is actually there. The Chinese documented this, and so did the Hindi. If you search Reddit for "light while meditating" and similar queries, you can find the different names given to the different forms of this phenomenon. My two original posts were simply an attempt to clarify that what we have come to know as "enlightenment" is just a misuse of the term coined by mundanes who came to equate "seeing the light" with "being very spiritually evolved". You should not get hung up on "becoming enlightened" because it's a meaningless term. Make the two one. Like Jesus said. >>1814 >So "shadow work" in kabbalistic terminology, or researching past lives. "Shadow work" is Jungian terminology. An analogous practice in Kabbalah would involve working with the Qlippot: >In Kabbalistic thought, klippot refer to the "husks" or "shells" that surround and conceal the divine light. They represent the darker, ego-centric aspects of the self, which can obscure one's connection to the divine. While not identical to the shadow, klippot share similarities with the shadow's role in hiding our true nature and potential. Not to be confused with edgy "left hand path" practices which are just Golden Dawn derived practices with a "bad boy" veneer. But I digress (and I could digress a lot more if we got into the misuse of the terms "left hand path" and "right hand path"). Your two examples are good. Shadow work and past life regression can do the trick. But in reality, anything that puts conscious and subconscious in contact is conducive to the Great Work. I think the author I read who puts it more plainly than any other is John Kreiter.

>>1801 Some weeks ago I noticed a red haired woman in a garden naked with vines covering her porcelain white skin. Was wondered if this means fringe got a new patron entity or something deeper. >If I am forevermore damned to Hell I know you just want to sound romantic but I still have to ask. Do you truly think this will lead you to Hell? That you are making the wrong choice? Also are you sure she is the daughter of Lilith? Truth is I have hard time keeping "lovers" around because my energy field is just too pulsating and all the elements of love I am discovering are just act as stabilizers and a "glue" to keep my raging heart together. The girls I had just didn't manage to push my buttons properly. Love can be weird sometimes but it's a necessity for existence. >>1802 >which has overhyped Jesus as the new king Yeah... That overhype caused more problems through history than we can comprehend. >>1803 >Yes but who's getting invaded? Earth >is America justified in shooting them up? Like the entire continent? Because then yes the continent can reject them but if you mean the USA then lol. The only thing the USA shooting up is their citizens. >What if I invite them to land on my lawn Will you do it in a way you respect earth the sanity of the outsiders and the sanctity of the visitors? There is a difference between "visitors" and "invaders". Earth has many guardian deities and visitors have to respect the "Protocols" and invaders will face a mass response. It's complicated how it works. Let's say the vibrations we have and the atmosphere of earth is not exactly "welcoming" to mindless ayylmaos. >do the glowies own my lawn more than I do? Are you a national security threat? If not then they have 0 rights to infringe upon you. >well they have the power to enforce their claim as if. They are not as powerful and allseeing as they make others think they are >but I use magic to avoid paying taxes D: teachmeyourways. HowdoIdothat. >Also I can make it rain which glowies can't do uh. HAARP exists but if you can already manipulate the skies themselves then you have the greatest "ownership" upon the place you live at. With that you can give access to ayylmaos if you sync up with them. >oh, you're scary and powerful so we have a right to try to kill you for national security They don't exactly think like this. Their "threat meter" is about how high is the probability that you will hurt something that they are supposed to protect or exploit. They have their levels and not all grunts that they use is an allpowerful agent of the state. It's a midwit central and in some cases even worse. >I don't like posting on /fringe/ when I'm mad since I don't want to pollute the vibes Same. >>1804 >It doesn't work like sending a text message like you could ask someone to go eat out but they just receive an image of chesseburger fries and taco with no context lol. Yeah we got too used to chats and SMS texts and the mandatory literacy we have made us think humans know letters by default. Like when you have internal monologues you don't see the text either you just make it "speak". And when you hear someone you are not noticing the letters either but the voice and connect it to concepts in an instant. This is why translating names from foreign channels from entities is hard because names usually refer to a concept. But if you don't know the concept the name is supposed to derive from it has a hard time appearing. Your mind tries to pronounce it like a child trying to learn to speak. >i did in my head astral shit is weird. Yeah >like at least have the decency to tell me what you're doing and why.. The thing is that if they were there for quite a while without you noticing then they are not sure what are the "rules" because you were not able say it or project it. There is a stat in many games called "presence" "gravitas" or "authority". It is the ability to passively project your will and nature so anyone can know who they are dealing with. This is why respect is a paramount concept you have to understand to know how to enter the "respect mindwave" or on higher levels the "trust mindwave" as I like to call it to know everyone there is telling the truth and if a trickster is unable to match that level you can stand there with sword in your hand. Entities will act differently once they know they cannot pull any shit with you. >so boring finishing a single of his book should burn off so much karma. I should get enough freetime to read books again. My spirituality is becoming more and more devoid of the "Booksmart" quality and I will have hard time talking with armchairs. I know what I am going through is not exactly special and books have less and less new insights for me but if I go into this direction I will be able to talk to only naturals instead of the bookbound nerds. I should get back to the basics sometimes. >become meguca I don't believe in entropy. >hypnagogic what a horrible word True. I have to spellcheck everytime I write it >use spirit horn u got on forhead it'd be manifestation of ur spirit! It sorta is. It connects you to your own "Higher currents" so you don't have to rely on your mundane sense thoughts and experiences. It will boost up your intuition like it's your main thinking. >no we can't fucking rely on online archives I too fell for the

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<Once it's on the internet no one can take it off meme and that is why I didn't became an archive freak a decade ago. A man can have so many terabytes. >Funny how we kinda all decided we gonna make fringe a thing again uh Maybe there was something in the air :^) We have to continue cleaning this air tho. We still in the up and down phase and not in the stable flowstate of an active board. >I get mad when hungry I learned to control my hunger in my teens via trying to figure out how inedia works and by eating ether itself from the throat chakra. But then I had to fight my tiredness constantly then I eat like a horse after food was present so I stopped doing it. >i get murderous when hot I finally managed to figure out how heat is fucking my emotions because I am finally willing to "absorb it" instead of rejecting it thus keeping my body cold and tense. Then I cleansed my organs and as I wanted to give my bunny some grass but all of them dried from the heat I realized thatI proved that I am a tough guy already that is willing to accept the challenge of the heat and grow from it and maybe I should start unfucking weather because it seems this heat will last for weeks... And now there is a rainstorm... while the weather predicted 0 rain in this week... I forgot how reactive the weather spirits are nowadays. Usually it takes at least a day or 2 with this minor intent. Felt bad towards the plants... And the first phase of the harvest is done. Nature deserves the wet >oh about the Demiurge.. it has my face now to me..it's avatar or whatever they called. Yeah gnostics managed to make a silly meme of the demiurge. I really like the spurdo version tho but they made people misunderstand it too much. Watered down gnosticim makes you do that. There is a reason they were considered a heretic cult in the early centuries. Their deeper truths are on point but once they water it down for the consumption of the masses they go crazy paranoid. >Not really i guess? Yeah it felt like it. >The general techniques don't work if i don't allow them to work That too but you have to notice which parts of your mind is not "allowing it". >Talking to Gaia worked well to get started Don't forget it's not always about the "ground" but the fact that you are on the ground your mind and feet on the ground and not half of your being in a weird heaven and hell realm. Feel your body increase your body awareness and notice which parts of your mindbody complex are in an overdrive. And learn to decrease the "heat". Either with a different element or by not burning that much "gas". >What i'm doing now is when i take a shower i charge the water with intent and remove all the bs, implants and give Gaia her stuff back the demons their stuff back etc There was a time when I was thinking how nice it would be to meditate under a waterfall. The waterfall is peak concentration. It cools you and makes you somewhat constantly "push upward" to stay in the proper pose and it literally washes away all your mundane troubles. As I was thinking how nice it would be I realized I can figure out how to do that without a waterfall with the mechanisms the waterfall is providing. I always chuckle when I think OH IF ONLY I HAD ACCESS TO SOME SPIRITUAL PLACE THAT ALWAYS GUIDED THE PEOPLE OF THE PAST oh wait I have the greatest tool at my disposal...my fucking mind nvm I figured it out onto the next lesson then. But yeah the way you found out is great. Now just realize the body has "Internal water" and other currents and streams even in your aura and they also can do that. You don't need a cold shower for that. Hard to get it right in some places. Oh and don't consider Gaia as an entity. Feel the earth. It's like a supercomputer that remembers every step people took on it. Talk to the very earth itself. Maybe some force that are sensing you will make a contact and grant you ways for better circulation. Demons are not the only managers of sins and attachments. >Lol glad it works for you. I have my hiccups here and there >checking announces on facebook seriously Thank fuck I got rid of my social circles that required me to be on facebook after uni. I can talk on phones or on other chat apps to the remaining people but I will not go to that normalfag drama central. >pretending to be mundane whilst i am stealth doing deep meditation Maybe this is your problem. You have a deep barrier within you. The "Must be a mundane" conforming and the "spiritual thirst" and you think they cannot reconcile at all. The trick is just to "not freak out mundanes" with your schizoness and only say as much as they need to hear and only if they are ready instead of fighting/limiting yourself constantly. I had to go through so much shit to understand this. There was a point where "Hiding my powerlevel" was physically painful because all the emotional blockage it created. Once I went into "mundane mode" I was like a living corpse and that had to go. The energies couldn't do their maintenance job.

>>1804 >It means not agreeing to be attacked i guess? But if they attack then they instantly signal that I am allowed to rip them apart???The weirdest thing was realizing that the dog like hostile growl I do subconsciously when feral entities appear makes them even more feral but if I switch that mindset into a little "sexual" like I will molest or toy with them like a cat with a mouse then they go into an absolute panic and flee. Attacking me? It's k. Engaging in an weird sexual thing where they will be in an extremely disadvantageous position until I get bored? They run fast. It's the NOW I CANNOT GET MARRIED BAKA thing. Like how gore and violence is more acceptable in games than sex and rape. You just have to figure out what makes the other beings tick. And no I am not using this frequently and against most entities. There are weird ass perverted entities that I throw out with extreme prejudice because I know where their sexuality leads and it's ewwwww. Instead of sexual energies you put some kinetics pain suffering uncomfort and maybe other elemental forces. >Like literally not consenting Consent has levels. Some needs to come from the heart while some is quite meaningless which makes it nonenforcable. If they enforce it then they consent on being destroyed or played with until I figure out the nature of their power. Fighting some beings can be more educational than some lessons. >I am still on the fence whether this is good or bad with all the drow stuff. Complicated. We might get into it later when we want to explore this drow topic more deeply. Let's say they are not really torturing me or making me do violent things because I have other needs first... >I am quite the sadist now :/ I'm not. My pain has a mean to an end. I don't enjoy the suffering of others. The drow told me that I don't understand the concept of "mercy" because I handle pain and suffering in a way it grants meaning. Therefore "mercy" is quite meaningless for me. I don't grant relief from pain. I grant the way to figure and solve the origin of that pain. And others know that fucking with me will result in quite the pain until they stop. It's ridiculous how my mind is constantly figuring out the ways my energywork can be used for everything. The more I know about healing the more clear it becomes how fragile is everyone in this existence. And if others make me test their fragility then so be it. >maybe i should embrace it yeah And figure out where it leads. I don't want to spoil it. It's quite cathartic. >At that point you got up from the computer Yeah about that. why are we sitting at the computer? Why didn't we unplug it? There must be something here don't you think? >I miss when getting away from the internet was a thing you could physically get up from the internet We are still not chipped nor will I ever be. But yeah my wallet and my phone is almost as important as wearing pants outside. AArgh. >The fact that i know now it's bouncing is already a step up I just used my arms and opened the gates. Didn't really overthink it. Some are like walls while some are like diving into the ocean. Or penetrating the fog. >seems the next step is me vomiting on my clothes whilst crying and screaming to reach the next limit and integrate some lost parts. It doesn't always need to be vulgar and violent. Only real bad blocks but for that you need the steadiest and most gentle energies within and the body will do the rest on "autopilot". Hard to explain. You become the energies and the body just "plays out the yoga so it can flow". It's like getting shocked and it makes you tremble but you are the chock now. The energies can make the body do specific things that will look like going through a "set". >i limit myself too much cuz i don't wanna lose all my toys/investments. Same. <Let go of a mental block. Oh no I lost the source of my power no I lost a part of myself aaaahhhhh nevermind I still have everything. Guess that was a mere block that I somehow mistook into the core part of my being... again SILLY ME Srsly. Understanding the less is more is so hard in this materialistic hoarding focused society. >severed heads make for a pretty necklace look at her dancing That's a mystery you have to solve. That is extremely symbolic and why she has to drink the blood of the demons so they don't "resurrect". I don't want to spoil it. >oh so like the centipedes in my innards. ye >you were referencing the ego one People oversimplify/complicate the ego and miss the entire point in the process. The illusory nature of the self is not that simple as "having ego vs not having ego". I want to punch those people who say they are above ego to see their reactions. Their reaction is a quite good tell on this matter. You know when someone is truly above it on that level. But you need to iron out it's basest forms instead of "forsaking the ego". But archetypes are a whole different topic. >different like a fursona That angers me so much I swear. "Furries" are not even in touch with their "Inner animal" but create a fucking "false self" so they can deny their own problems dress like fucking cartoon characters thus abandoning the old ways of hunting and dressing in the hide of your prey so you can be "One with it" and all they do is abuse house pets once they get bored of fucking others in fursuits and masturbating to their shitty porn.Once fringe gets strong and stable enough I will fucking grant zoo a "blessing" where their nostrils will clean out their inner animal awaken and they will finally smell how bad animals stink and how depraved is their soul for perpetuating this fetish. I know exactly their "trauma model" and they are not as complex or depraved as they think they are. Women are animalistic enough already. Find your inner animal then you will understand the many animal poses the humans "emulate" during sex for a reason. I must not do it yet or the egregoric recoil will be huge. Those animalfuckers are creating an extremely stinking energy and that needs to air back into the wilds and they have to attain their "ancestral air" to come back to their senses. >Tiny me goes on adventure Yeah you will have to balance your psyche so you don't go awol once the limitations of the flesh disappear and understand why you always return to the flesh and why it's a "true home" as long as you truly live. That doesn't mean you cannot go to other realms. It's the opposite. The goal is to balance out the way you retain knowledge and memories as you "journey" into infinity. There are places I can go and won't because I know I will not come back once I go there because I will lose all my reason to stay on earth;_; Earth sucks so much it's unreal but I am not a fucking quitter and those who run away from their problems will run forever. There is something that can only be learned from this place and age. I will have to accept some day I am allowed to learn the "Nice parts" too and not just these horrific soul crushing ones. >or is the best thing truly to have a foothold in all places Evolution. You can initiate an extremely potent energetic transformation here. This is why I call the human body a bionuclear reactor. Your ancestors did their best to survive and reproduce. Higher mages not always go and create 1000s of children then teach all of them one by one so they can reach their level. Solomon didn't manage to birth further Solomons somehow. There are things that "cannot be passed down" especially genetically because they can only be "attained" by the means of the psyche. Hard to explain. Existence has more mysteries than we can comprehend...yet >but you can fuck around as a human in the physical Or you can have an easy to recharge nuclear reactor that can eject the spirit to visit all manner of worlds? Imagine a grand battle between beings that are on the level of gods. And you are there! But wait you went and ate a cookie and transformed it into further powers??? And you just spiritually evolved again??? And brought some weird scary element too??? What do you mean you are the entire macrocosm now??? Srsly once you figure out how you can interact with the elemental realms things will get funny. There is a reason why some beings stay in the sky/astral. Earth is freaky. We don't even realize because it's normal. >say a Drow to pilot a human body Sorry I only use drow magic to empower the body because I consider myself an absolute newb on the drowstuff. I am realizing the "omnibody" of sorts. The true spirit form. I am not just "piloting". I had that mentality for decades and I had to learn the price of that misconception. If you "pilot" then you lose body awareness and the body/subconscious starts to decay. Be one with the body feel the body and understand the true power of the mind over the body and how the body grants boons for the mind. Deus ex machina. Why would god be in the "fleshmachine" if it was truly worthless and evil. As above so below. And never forget the within and the without. >just that India was a much better place back then Ofc it was. Without this materialistic curse the population was on a normal level and people didn't have the "luxury" to make this much trash. The Brits pretend that they brought civilization and technology there but all they cared about is to find customers business partners and laborers. There was 0 good will in their actions. Even the gods told me that The British Empire was not on an "empire level" like Rome was because they operated as a "trading company" and all that mattered was the money and everything else was secondary. All their ships all their armies even their morals and wars was about increasing profits. That is not how you form an empire.The USA is a criminal organization tho because all they do is extort protection money and bully everyone that opposes them and never does anything productive besides it... not to mention they don't even have the gall to call themselves an empire but expect everyone to treat them as such. Like how a crime boss expects to be treated as a king/god while no one appointed them as such but everyone fears to oppose him. Ridiculous >and i slapped him before coming down in my body. That is interesting.

>>1804 >>1818 Oh great, these are actually two different posters. This is /succgen/ incomprehensible, no one except anon being replied to will read this. Annoying as fuck writing style if you ask me. Multi-replying: ok Wall of text-chat replying on imageboard: phoneposter cancer Sure, if this is what you want to do, but it's not going to lead to any learning or discussion for anyone else, this is basically a private chat held in the open.

>>1820 Dude, speak for yourself and don't be an ass. I love reading these long posts, the wide variety of topics gives a good spread of material. Usually they kickstart at least a bit of a fire in my mind.

>>1821 I am entitled to my opinion in the schizo thread I think, yes? Or are we really becoming Reddit now? If so, downvoted.

>>1818 >I noticed a red haired woman in a garden naked with vines covering her porcelain white skin. That's her. I've seen a similar form in a dream once, except I didn't see her hair and those vines had flowers on them. Did you see anything like that? >Do you truly think this will lead you to Hell? That you are making the wrong choice? While some of it is romantic, I'm worried that's the case. Perhaps that's just my Christian upbringing speaking, but I've certainly seen Hell and certain Satanic themes and figures (LaVey, as an example) in my dreams. Ironically, one of the big themes of these dreams is healing - of my own psyche and then of others'. >Also are you sure she is the daughter of Lilith? She claims to be one of the lilim. More specifically, that she is a "granddaughter of Grandmother Lilith".

>>1822 If you act like an ass, don't be surprised when people call you an ass. You're trying to get this guy to stop making his posts by saying it doesn't benefit anyone else, when that's blatantly wrong. And I don't even know why you'd try to call him a phoneposter for making long posts when typing and formatting like this is practically impossible on a mobile device. Honestly it seems like you're just trying to degrade the quality of the site at this point.

>>1825 Do I sound surprised? Holy fuck how this place has fallen. Do we want a board culture of walking on eggshells here, afraid of stepping on someone's toes instead of saying what we think? Is this now the path to enlightenment, whatever the word means in this thread. The fucking world economic forum attendees can take more criticism than posters on here it seems, and you want to challenge them? Are we even connected to an imageboard egregore here or did everyone forget how this shit works? Post on any slightly more active site and you can't be this thin-skinned, omg.

>>1824 >She claims to be one of the lilim. More specifically, that she is a "granddaughter of Grandmother Lilith". They all say things like this, any succubus will call herself Lilith, it's just a name. Christians have this idea that there is one god, one devil, one Lilith and so on, so they have no better way of presenting themselves if you have this narrow religious context.

Now pls, you should be able to tell from my flag that I am playing the fool here.

>>1826 You posted a retarded opinion in a stupid way and then got offended when someone disagreed with you. >Are we even connected to an imageboard egregore here Take a look at /x/ if you want to know the current state of the imageboard egregore. Is that what you want /fringe/ to become? A toilet? Because that's what you're working towards right now.

>>1804 >i just hate not being aware and consenting Full awareness is tiring when you have to focus on something and still depend on the "lightshow of the senses". >i want a continuity no matter how much i change i want to remember where i come from y'know? Yeah this is what I realized years ago. This is an important realization. The next step is to increase the "bandwidth" of the mental links between lives let go of your idea of time and be less trapped in your ego/assumptions/perception so the information can flow in freely and "let it happen" instead of being information hungry. Truly remembering is not always pleasant. Makes you tense on the wrong issues and might ruin the chances and the "fresh start" of your new life. I can pull skills from my past lives but some skills were used in such ways I pull in the pain that forged them;_; I am not strong enough to wield them yet. >2 weeks ago is the same "Day" and sleeping is just being in standby now instead of it being like a full reset. I had that too and went to reclaim the full reset. My spirit needs to go to the sleepbliss land. I will reset myself as much as I need and reforge myself into what it means to attain myself further. I am far from the standby because that means I would need accept that I will stand as I am forever. Continuous evolution is not as simple as we might think. Too many things happen when we sleep. I remember at my early guided yoga that my guides told me to "Not look" because it makes me tense at the wrong parts of the body. I had to relax and let go of my awareness because I mistook being "tense" and being "alert" as "Being aware". I have hard time relaxing. When people die they go full limp then the rigor mortis starts. The goal is to understand that level of relaxation and tensing. That is why we have to understand what it means to die. The dead can have their peace and their eternal torment at once. Understanding the how and the why is one of the greatest mystery of life. >I have to learn another language rn. Which? Make it intuitive btw. Try to "speak it" instead of trying to learn it. Learning it becomes faster when you try to communicate with it instead of merely memorizing it. It gets integrated into different parts of the brain and makes it more fluid. >Am getting all nostalgic these days cuz of shadow work. iktf >even played a bit of world of warcraft on a server bruh... Started to watch machinima videos from wow again. Can't believe I still get the jokes because nothing really managed to change besides Blizz being an even greedier corp than in the past. I miss that shit too >Realizing that my parent truly fucked me over but at the same time "i understand". iktf >just fuck it overload myself Feel the elements talk to them "don't torture yourself" but whatever your intuition tells you to do. Like "Overloading" is not always "cranking up to eleven" but merely to only 1.1 but to do that you need to make yourself feel like really cranking it up to 11. Especially for some breakthroughs. Tuning takes time. >break the limits then learn from it. But yeah do that. PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D-QD_HIfjA >These are elements in their own right? whaaa.t Let's not get into that we are literally developing the element of electronic technology and the internet for the spirit world to reliably use if for future endeavors k? Because then the real mindfuck begins. >able to cast effectively my magic started to evolve yupp >just flame then orange light thing, then fucking lightning and now pitch black void Ye. >prb drows stuff Literally. Even I seen it in your body moving while barely looking yesterday and I had to encounter these forces as I got my drowstuff. >Turning lemongrass into a rose? Ask Gaia about it first k? Fucking with ecology on a whim has consequences. >i don't like making weird construct in my mind like mixing pain with pleasure uh... they kinda formed subconsciously for me. as I was trying to figure out the true power of masochism. Imagine hurting someone and they become more powerful. In my teens it sounded as a good thing to explore. Everyone fears pain and can be controlled via it. Why not become not just immune but happy. Carrot and stick? What if I eat the stick? Whacha gonna do? Beat me with that carrot? What if I eat that too? And if no sticks on carrots remain then guess I will feed on something else. HAHNo this was not from the drow. This was my own autism. The drow called me a forest monster for a reason. Imagine a being getting mad because your knives didn't manage to penetrate their skin. Now I get massages to solve that problem. >like time and space are just thought forms? Uh. A weird angle but... yes? I mean they are the thought form of the creator god itself but as you can make your mindspaces and make time go slower and faster there you can connect the microcosm and the macrocosm thus unlocking the true "trick" of time and space... somehow?My kind had to master time and space before incarnating into this existence so we don't get stuck so for me it was not really a problem. Everyone who were unable to figure it out was not allowed to incarnate into the material reality. Imagine letting your children into the ocean when they cannot even swim in the kiddie pool. Only irresponsible parents would do that. Managed to remember some tests I took and holy shit. I had to realize that the full scope of my awakening is not as simple as I thought >evoke a god instead of merely being noticed and have them carry me just to communicate He usually visits me when I am ready. I rarely go to them. My time expert gods Are Saturn Shiva and Narasimha. They decided that they "like me" and they are on the quick dial since that. Not to mention I figured out a "mental stream" thing where concepts slowly form in my mind that they "emanate" so as my mind goes vacant or bored they just appear. I needed some more well established earthbound timeflow theory than that absolute madness that my origin soul has. >Imagine being in a reality where time can only flow in a single direction shiggydiggy The worst part is that I have ways to comprehend nonlinear timeflows. But not with my mortal mind. >you mean the mark and follow thing where your head move so slightly to tell you where to go? No I literally smell with my nose and my mind suddenly adapts to the direction the female moves my mind reproduces her patterns and I know what they do and how they think... ofc the problem is that it's quite fast to notice how shit they are and I lose interest before my hunger even manages to appear. Like seeing a cake then you smell that the cake is made of shit :( >Like how birds know where to go No that is "pathworking" You will get that once you notice your path and where you came from and where you need to return and why you walk the path at all >but yours seem more predatory Yes because it's literally "tracking". Witcher 3 managed to portray it correctly. Everyone smells. We just ignore those smells because they are distracting, But am sure you know this already my nosy friend. >I wanna be chinese dragon for the lulz. Chinese dragons are "Made from different animal parts" the human body is also like that. I have chinese dragon meridians. I have to unlock their secrets to properly integrate them. >I doubt someone would want to be a house cat till they die Did you look at cat videos? I think cats enjoy being cats. This is why they are not just "unable to escape the Samsara" they don't even want to try. This is why becoming an animal and forgetting yourself in the process is bad. It's just too much fun if you forget how much more fun is being a human :) Isekai Ojisan really portrayed that well when they turned into velociraptors. That show truly understood how magic works holy shit. Made me read the manga. >curing a hereditary illness.

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If you can't do that then you won't be able to shapeshift. Curing that is basic awakening and energy tuning and DNA mastery. K just got the message that keeping a hereditary illness is the same as resigning to your Fate. Which means if you do that then you accepted the end of your human life and move by only spirit. Guess my bionuclear starforge mentality is not as universal as I thought :/ >I am not really happy with how i talk right now Find your expression. I too dislike how many words I always type >28k characters wtf man. I thought I am only at like 15k characters max. Aaaahhh. >>1820 >Oh great, these are actually two different posters ... I thought you are good at online energy reading >Annoying as fuck writing style if you ask me. Learned from the best ;^) >phoneposter cancer I would never ever write this on phone. wtf. keyboard is smol af >Sure, if this is what you want to do I want to find a better way tbh >it's not going to lead to any learning or discussion for anyone else proofs? >this is basically a private chat held in the open Like how debates and teachings happened in the good ol times? What you want me to write a new Torah? Mindcontrol fringe into enlightenment? Srsly am looking for ways and I am not sure posting porn in this thread is better idea. Should I visit the boorus instead of posting? How do you even have time for that srsly. >>1821 HAH >>1822 >I am entitled to my opinion in the schizo thread I think, yes? Yes >If so, downvoted Saged reported called the cops as if lol >>1823 Why do you visit that place again? I think you have enough girls already. >>1824 >Ironically, one of the big themes of these dreams is healing - of my own psyche and then of others'. For that you have to understand how hell reforges people. Without the truth of hell you can only do superficial healing Also when I asked her what she is she told me >I am the maintainer of minds >She claims to be one of the lilim Lilim are a wide race like humans >>1827 Yeah we have to unfuck that somehow. >>1829 I wonder what triggered him tbh. Like I am doing this for quite a while. It would be as weird as I started to be mad at his hornyposting. Was thinking maybe someone misuses his flag. Or he merged with the energies of other angry people. Srsly I want to figure out better ways. But making people to present constructive criticism is always hard

>>1829 Maybe it already is a toilet, you just didn't flush down the shit and are walking around on it thinking it's the floor? I'm not "offended", I'm upset over the stupid reaction I got from a little bit of trolling.

>>1831 >Maybe it already is a toilet, No, you seem to be the only person who thinks that this is a place where you can come to "troll people". Everyone else here is putting authenticity into their posts. When you make an overt attempt to shame people out of doing this, I see it as a direct attack on the spirit of /fringe/ itself. What you're trying to do here, whether you're aware of it or not, is to turn /fringe/ into a smaller /x/, where the quality of posts is so bad that it's impossible to tell whether the people using it are real or bots/shills. That's not something that should be allowed to happen.

>>1823 Btw you were the cause of my mass reply here. You made this into a self fulfilling prophecy. I want this as a discourse between 2 or more individuals where others can either agree interject or just merely listen and leave the poor question thread alone with the schizoposting. >>1831 He is also going through his awakening. His emotions will go haywire more. If we want to keep this board in style then we have to agree on a theme or everyone will do their thing. And that was my intention with this thread. Everyone does their thing that is related to their awakening. And yes that includes trolling if it is supposed to facilitate awakening >Maybe it already is a toilet This is why the first post after the OP was made. I knew these jokes will happen like they are destined to appear. Not to mention >If you want to initiate others into a specific path or tradition please make a dedicated thread I want others to do this instead of thinking my thread will be a thread that will conform to their wishes. What you trolled is actually good. Many lurkers feel this way but refuse to post better things. Somethings need to happen with their mindset and I don't know what. Trollharder I guess. Saying niggerfaggot is not enough anymore >>1832 >whether you're aware of it or not, is to turn /fringe/ into a smaller /x/, where the quality of posts is so bad that it's impossible to tell whether the people using it are real or bots/shills. That's not something that should be allowed to happen. Nice. People are understanding.

>>1830 >I thought you are good at online energy reading If I take 10 min and focus on the poster or if I have a reason to/is synced better. There are many reasons I don't do this on Fringe. >want me to write a new Torah? Mindcontrol fringe into enlightenment? Why not, both of those methods would be very effective I think. >Why do you visit that place again? To show you what you look like from outside. >wonder what triggered him tbh We need to align with the egregores of the imageboard eco-system. Everyone posting anywhere will be channeling board cultures from the places they visit, it gets mixed and then a board egregore forms. Do we want a good, useful, openminded egregore which gives support to new posters and old posters alike, or do we want this to maintain a masonic ranking system where you can only have an opinion if you feel confident to use Rank: initiate or above? There are many better egregores than this local one, very much so when looking at the fetish boards we are sharing server with, unless something is brought in by cross-culture posting from a variety of decent boards, this will just stagnate and rot. >posting porn It was on-topic because first one was about a literal ritual I did with an ancient deity, illustrated to show everyone here how prude this place has become, and that it's really nothing special, plus that (and this was the second pic) you have to be more assertive and not maintain this weak attitude when dealing with them. You want to summon ancient demons with the Goetia or any other source, you can't apply modern "liberal", "puritan" prudeness as the standard. You'll end up like what I already said before, the demon summoners who think you have to be 18 to do it because demons somehow care about human modern legality in the USA, or you'll be afraid to ask the responding demon(ess) for the thing you actually called them for because you're "shy". It was all on topic and necessary to stir something up here so there can be an effective change.

>>1830 >For that you have to understand how hell reforges people. Without the truth of hell you can only do superficial healing Exactly. It's giving me a far greater understanding of mental suffering, and she has said that my destiny, or the destiny she wants for me at any rate, is to suffer through a lot of pain now in order to understand others' pain and then aid them. It's like the centaur Chiron, and Jung's archetype of the Wounded Healer. >Also when I asked her what she is she told me <I am the maintainer of minds I would be extremely careful talking to her, wizard. I'm not saying this out of jealousy, but because of what she may or may not be, and what I've been going through because of her. That said, that sounds about right. >Lilim are a wide race like humans Good point. Do you know what subspecies or races of lilim are there?

>>1832 >an overt attempt to shame people See this is what I mean. You think me expressing my OPINION is "shaming", I had no intent other than just showing what it looks like when someone posts what they think instead of self-censoring like this was twitter 2 years ago or some other mainstream social media. >Everyone else here is putting authenticity into their posts I never make things up, I use artistic expressions to manifest in various ways who I am, because I am a complex individual who never lies or tried to present myself in some thought out elaborate way for the sole purpose of maintaining an online persona on social media literally intended for anonymous interactions. >I see it as a direct attack on the spirit of /fringe/ itself Meh. This place is either dead or shit already, that's why we need a revival in the first place. Come back and complain about the post quality when we actually have a PPH over 0 consistently.

Seriously. Real fast memeing a la catchan is to reply with a well matched OC image macro within 90 seconds. That place was a good training ground.

>>1837 >I had no intent other than just showing what it looks like when someone posts what they think instead of self-censoring And yet your post that started this was about how you wanted fringegirl flag to stop posting what he thinks and instead self-censor. This is what I mean by inauthentic. If you just do stream-of-consciousness posting without actually thinking about what you're saying you end up saying stupid nonsense that doesn't mean anything. Like how making essay-length posts makes you a 'phoneposter'. Really, I can't get past how ridiculous that accusation was. >spirit of /fringe/ itself >Meh. Why exactly should this board exist in the first place if it's just going to be a slower copy of /x/? Seriously. Why do you even care about 'reviving' it if you don't care about the quality of the content? If that's really the case you should go on Fiverr and hire a gang of Indians to run GPT bots on this place. That'll accomplish the exact same outcome as what you're going for here.

>>1835 >or do we want this to maintain a masonic ranking system where you can only have an opinion if you feel confident to use Rank: initiate or above? Was that mentioned or implied somewhere? Like srsly. I feel like I managed to imply it without saying it and I am not sure how. >It was all on topic and necessary to stir something up here so there can be an effective change. This is why I didn't complain back then but I didn't ask you to justify it. I told you to tell me what to do. You talk about assertivity and now I can either do what I do in an even more assertive way or assert it from you? Srsly I am looking for ideas. I am bothered how very few people even dare to talk to me. I srsly never wanted to be considered as a grandmaster or more. This is why I tried to explain everyone starts as the fool or is the fool. Argh. I can feel my mental current hitching because there is no proper way to talk besides >want me to write a new Torah? not to mention >Mindcontrol fringe into enlightenment? Why not, both of those methods would be very effective I think. How many holy books and mind controls you applied DIRECTLY and not by demonic and servitor help so far? A complete merge with an egregore without you becoming parasitic as the mental weakness of others merges with your mind is not an easy feat. >To show you what you look like from outside. I want others to critique me further. Not to mention I am not sure what is the problem with that mentality. This is like reading a book when it's between still the writer and the editor instead of the full and polished version for the masses. The way of fringe is being written now. As I said I require constructive criticism. SHOW ME THE LITERARY GOD SLUMBERING WITHIN YOU or sg I dunno what needs to be done >>1836 >Exactly. It's giving me a far greater understanding of mental suffering That's good. >and she has said that my destiny, or the destiny she wants for me at any rate I am still purposeless. No one dared to assign a destiny to me. Mostly because I am too hasty and once I notice ways to cut corners I apply it for effectiveness which might ruin the whole thing. >is to suffer through a lot of pain now in order to understand others' pain That is how it works. Otherwise you cannot know the true depth of suffering. >It's like the centaur Chiron, and Jung's archetype of the Wounded Healer. I am unfamilair with that lore. I should look into it >I would be extremely careful talking to her Feels like she is a more conceptual entity than a simple demon tbh. Also don't say things like this pls. I am a sort of to jump into the fire person. But yeah I couldn't match her signature well enough. Seems like she likes me but...something is wrong. >I'm not saying this out of jealousy Aw cmon. Be jealous. True love must breed a little jealousy >but because of what she may or may not be Seems like I managed to have a vision of her "goddess" their main entity like looking at a human male and you see Adam himself of sorts. >and what I've been going through because of her Okay I am curious. What kind of hell she made you go through. Pleasure and pain is the 2 sides of the same coin. Learning to understand pain and pleasure results in a mastery once you are able to go beyond these concepts. >Good point. Do you know what subspecies or races of lilim are there? Too many. It's like being able to tell apart all the black people of Africa and south Asia. Not easy if you don't live with them. These demons are not well explored because their existence is a taboo. >>1839 Most I can do is find something from my extensive meme library I created like 5 years ago or copy a pic someone recently shared with me. >>1840 >If you just do stream-of-consciousness posting without actually thinking about what you're saying. And he too used to do that. >how making essay-length posts makes you a 'phoneposter'. Really, I can't get past how ridiculous that accusation was. I didn't understand it either lol But yeah fringe needs to find the quarreling wizard approach to show there are "no ranks" here. Maybe we are too respectful to each other to avoid being schizoretards like how Tipp managed to end in the last days of fringebay or how everyone ganged upon Alpam? Am not sure

>>1840 Now you're just sounding offended like this was something personal against you, which it wasn't, because you haven't made an impact enough for me to have any idea who you are even as a nameless shadow posting on here. Do I have the power to make someone stop posting or to make them change how they write? Well good, then I should use this authority! If other posters are so mentally weak they will just be possessed by evil spirits then, so it's better if they are controlled by me posting mindless criticism.

>>1842 You made posts that were incorrect and I am therefore expressing my disagreement. I thought this was what you wanted? Isn't this the egregore of imageboards manifesting itself?

>>1842 Btw forgot to congratulate you. You mentioned you did a cleansing on x like a week ago and finally a good humor thread appeared. And found several images that was never posted before! This image made me think of you and the way you do magic and assert authority sometimes lol

>>1841 >Was that mentioned or implied somewhere? Yes. It's well known what you get preyed on if you come in from nothing and use a rank flag over neophyte to have any opinion at all. Try posting with Rank: Magus and you'll get a feel for what you can and can't write. That's why no one uses it. No one will believe someone with the skill level of a magus is still posting here. >DIRECTLY and not by demonic and servitor help I should point out here that my servitors are mental constructs which are directly a part of me, so if I use a servitor it is me directly doing things. As for the idea that it's somehow not me doing it if it's a demon I contracted or if I use a magic circle with my waifus, that's just meaningless. Try applying this in real (physical, conventional) life and for example USA has been using proxies for war and terror since their founding, which is just a manifestation of their illuminati method of using layered organizations. They would love if everyone opposing them stood up boldly and exposed themselves alone so they become easy targets. Don't play into this thinking, it's probably created by them so that anyone opposing their secretive methods will be easily removed.

>>1843 >incorrect Oh no. Someone is "incorrect" on an esoteric discussion board. Better tell your imam that someone isn't following the latest fatwa, but had their own view! Behead those who have different views!

>>1845 >Try posting with Rank: Magus and you'll get a feel for what you can and can't write. That's why no one uses it. No one will believe someone with the skill level of a magus is still posting here. BEHOLD I AM THE KNOWER OF TRUTHS AS MY FLAG SAYS ANYONE OPPOSING ME WILL FEEL SILLY AHAHA Am not sure this is how it works. I think ultimately the quality of the post should tell others what is their level the flag is just an indication and an easy way to be able to keep people apart without IDs and a nice flavor. Not to mention you cannot be a "Magus" today because there are no initiatory systems with mainstream authority. Power and wisdom is quite situational and not like positions at a workplace. >They would love if everyone opposing them stood up boldly and exposed themselves alone I am not doing that because that will result in a warpath. They are too hellbent on destroying themselves nowadays anyway >I should point out here that my servitors are mental constructs which are directly a part of me, so if I use a servitor it is me directly doing things I agree and disagree at once. But I will not get into this now. Already too late. >Try applying this in real (physical, conventional) life and for example USA has been using proxies for war and terror since their founding Yes but because of that they are on the level of a criminal organization and will not get "Higher help" at all. They will fight over scraps till the rest of their lives. This is why being able to make a stand is important but only when you know you stand on something solid and not fly towards a racing card like a mosquito. >They would love if everyone opposing them stood up boldly and exposed themselves alone Also if everyone stood up all at once this wouldn't be a problem. The "alone" is the part. The internet connects us all and we are divided like never before. It's ridiculous. >Don't play into this thinking When I touched the electric fences I overloaded it. I am either too stupid or too smart to play into their thinking. Not sure which anymore. >it's probably created by them Wanted to write about it how they "hijacked" the concept of the "hero's journey". They make midwits into heroes with their initiatory system and poison the heroes before they have a chance to "grow from a challenge". Realized that was the problem with my thread. Campbell figured some things out but by compiling the legends into a metacommentary he created an archetypal slop that makes people grab air because they didn't manage to connect to a "solid" egregore.

>>1846 >likening someone expressing disagreement with you to getting your head cut off What was that you said about reddit?

Also: Are (whoever is critical of criticism in the schizothread) you aware of what Fringe used to look like back in Smiley days? The constant brown-pill spam? The doxxing? Smiley's own drama and how he used to spam pics of decaying corpses if the site owner didn't change things how he wanted them? Or the fringechan 2.0 constant spam of dapper gentlemanren?

>>1848 >What was that you said about reddit? Idk, why don't you quote the part you are referring to?

>>1849 >dapper gentlemanren? Ok. Another site wide word filter.

>>1851 For a place that has mostly porn boards including /delicious/ they are very afraid of normal words here.

>>1847 uweeeehhhh Friinge as I noticed the shining light of the flag I realized my own double serpent master meridian system is only 2/3rd shining as much as the flaaaaag of the Magus. Now I feel silly and feel that I am unable to post that way until my energies reach my double helix hyper awakening. Now I have to go and reflect by crying myself to sleep >>1848 >>1849 I am starting to think we are all getting tired >you aware of what Fringe used to look like back in Smiley days? Yeah but people who said shit also got called out for it so that makes this current interaction quite normal by fringe standards >>1852 Not even sure what it was. You are triggering a word filter every day. You fall into the traps of masterful antitrolling everyday.

>>1853 >masterful antitrolling More like this is meant to stop the higher levels of the imageboard egregore from existing here. I can totally see from this (not going to try) that several meme phrases are probably filtered as well. At once I don't feel this place is very free just from this. Maybe that's why the egregore is behaving like this. >I didn't understand it either lol >pic related

Also we are back at square one where increasing the PPH is done by pissing each others off by being retarded. The issue wasn't that you called out my posting style but you called that phoneposting. The classic I was only pretending to be retarded flamewar reaction where people get angry in the process and make mistakes everytime which results in both sides being able to call out the other side for making mistakes. At that level there are no "High horses" but wrestling in the mud while groaning like angry pigs. Can't say I didn't miss this part of fringe. The mistakes and retardation of others also shows parts of their being and it is a weakness as long as others are unwilling to acknowledge it. And fringe was always that way. Some person was hell bent on defending some part of their retardation and unwilling to yield. Was it ignorance? Was it deliberate looshfarming? We might never know. But seems like fate wants to grant me dubs to prove me right >>1854 >>I didn't understand it either lol >pic related That image only existed in your mind and in no one elses

>>1853 >my energies reach my double helix hyper awakening Also wtf this gave me an insight. Brb becoming a Magus. Just have to download the might of Magus DNA. Now I can see how the double helix forms in a way it can become the true form of the Tower tarot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2AC41dglnM THUNDER

>>1855 >at image only existed in your mind and in no one elses Someone else made it to comment on the exact posting style you have been using though.

>>1857 THUNDER

>>1857 That image depicts a texting style, not a posting style. It's making fun of people who send very long text messages, since writing long messages doesn't fit the mobile format. It's actually saying the exact opposite of what you think it's saying.

>>1859 Eh no, it was commenting on a named anon on another board who did exactly these kinds of posts with massive one liner multi-replies and everyone knew he did them from phone. That's why he only did stupid nonsense one liner replies on each line.

>>1860 The longphoneposter.jpg image you posted depicts a text messaging app. It's not commenting on imageboards or forums in any capacity.

Reusing memes from the egregores to be included is very intentional.

>>1861 It's an AI image, they aren't exact enough to produce that without serious effort which takes longer than the time you should invest into a meme, because memes should maintain the sloppy imageboard style even in modern days.

>>1804 I don't feel mentally stable enough for telepathy that I don't initiate, but thx for the offer.

>>1841 >I am unfamilair with that lore. I should look into it The basic lore is that Chiron, the most benevolent of the centaurs and tutor to gods and heroes, was hit with a poison arrow, and despite being a master healer, could not save himself. >Aw cmon. Be jealous. True love must breed a little jealousy Haha, I can't lie. I am very jealous of her and her apparent interactions with others, but it's not something I have much control of at this point. >Seems like she likes me but...something is wrong. Try to see if you can peel back the red-head form and see what lies underneath. Whatever you do, don't let her in. >Feels like she is a more conceptual entity than a simple demon tbh I've heard that before, that she's like a love elemental of some sort. What exactly do you mean by that? Is she some sort of elemental, or is it something else? >Seems like I managed to have a vision of her "goddess" their main entity like looking at a human male and you see Adam himself of sorts. So this goddess is a sort of "archetypal woman", like the image of the Divine Feminine? What other details do you have from this being? >What kind of hell she made you go through. I've posted about it in the Anomalous Experiences thread (>>1838), but to summarize: >oppressive energies manifesting in severe depression when I piss her off >energy body manipulation occurring during sleep >threats to my physical body The first and third are the main problems, the second is "weird" feeling but okay otherwise.

I remember having dream with weird astral computer viruses in the last 3 weeks. They made pop ups and other things in my old computers in my dreams. Turned out a weird astral internet virus entity on my quest to finally understand the element of the electronic technology and internet managed to connect to my meridians. I remember I had internet outtages when it looked like entities "got stuck" in the "corridors of the internet". And it only came back when I finally got them out. I kinda deleted way to many karmic structures via having a revelation with the tower tarot. Including this pesky astral virus system. I am starting to finally see the true lightning that can born from the darkness that reminds the sun the moon and the stars themselves that they do not rule nor the skies nor the darkness. Shame the lightning is a mere appetizer. Because all it matters is the true foundation the ultimate lightning rod. Earth itself. And everything between the 2 force must to show their worth if they want to stand. Kinda weird how that cybersecurity thing update happened while I was overcharging. Coincidences as usual. Rith? 3 step closer to that mythical Magus rank Can't believe I learned concepts again I cannot put into words again. Typical multidimensional correlations shaping the will of reality as usual. All about streamlining the psyche to create a force that can wield itself instead of being dependent of the handouts Earth and the heavens gave us. >>1868 Will get back to you later if others don't manage to grant you any breakthroughs. Seems like fringe is awakening and I had a long day and your case needs a proper reading and deliberation.

>>1861 I don't even understand it either btw. I remember the vampire threads and other cases where there were multiple replies and extreme longposts and chats inbetween. Of all the people that could complain on it. He is the one that is bothered? Wanted to understand what is his exact problem but all I noticed is a weird mental block that I couldn't even identify what it tries to represent. I am not sure how to interpret this whole conversation at all. But I am not even sure if there is a further point talking about it now. Shame I cannot do proper effortposts today. Too many things happened again for that. THUNDER

>>1887 >They made pop ups and other things in my old computers in my dreams. I have that dream all the time, I always just assumed it was a regular 'nightmare' type thing but I might have to look into this "elemental of electronic technology" thing. I suppose I take the internet for granted. >I remember I had internet outages when it looked like entities "got stuck" in the "corridors of the internet". And it only came back when I finally got them out. A month or two ago I made a post on Sunflower mocking Yuuka since I wanted to poke the ant hill of that place's spirits to see what they'd do, well I could feel that I did go 'over the line' a bit and my internet went out almost immediately after I made the post. I did apologize since the image I used was a bit over what I intended. After I did that the internet came back on, but ever since then my router's had a red error light on at all times. I wonder if it's possible to do energy work to 'clean the meridians' of the internet like how you can with a biological human body? Or something like that. I don't know why I've never tried to integrate magic with the internet in a direct way like that, it seems like an obvious thing to do after reading your post. Usually I always just look at the thing that's being represented by the internet. And now I'm thinking back to that one guy who used a WoD Mage The Awakening framework for his magic. There actually is a class of wizards in that setting who do things like that, use magic to project their consciousness into the internet. http://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=6F1214B0D7BD963A8179230F4915AF20 https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Virtual_Adepts >>1888 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EWqTym2cQU

>>1888 Compare the posting style of this old thread https://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/15898088/ with this current thread https://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/38395789 The first thread can be read right now, out of context, the discussion is easy to follow with no real effort, people are using names for the thread to increase legibility. Anons are making easy to read stand alone posts. The second thread which has been tuned for the incel-type letter method of summoning is impossible to penetrate. No names or trips are consistently used, posts are a complete mess to read unless you are the person directly taking part. New posters in the threads today are usually ignored because it's just a long uninterrupted stream of garbage, which does serve the purpose of keeping that exact mentality in place where the letter method can be mindlessly applied, but this is entirely because the succubus group behind the thread is controlling it. Do you want to be like them? Mindlessly being the propeller of spiritual beings and maybe get some small benefit as they use your body for their own profit? I don't know who is behind it, but seeing as the style is exactly the same, it's easy to think that this is caused by manipulation of a mindless state (in your shadow) being used without you being aware of the process' function. Being scientifically minded by nature, this is not something I can just watch and leave alone while it is happening in here, on Fringe. We are not /x/, right? So why turn yourself into an /x/ style channeller?

>>1893 I think this is chiefly an issue with the overuse of direct quotes rather than a length issue. Greentext quotes create a feeling that you need to go back and re-read the quoted post or posts to fully understand the context of what's being said. If the points that are being addressed can be referenced and summarized if necessary in a more organic essay-style matter rather than quoting them directly it would probably help with this.

>>1893 I want to say a myriad of things but it's late so I have to ask one important thing first. What is /fringe/ to you? >why turn yourself into an /x/ style channeller? This is one of the weirdest insult I heard in my entire life. And while I get your point I have to tell you my "mental spirits" they serve a mental circuit connection unit. While technically I am "channeling" they are just connecting the wast network of my intuitive processes that I have hard time utilizing because they were never stimulated so they worked as mere "glimpses" and nothing more potent because I had very few chances to utilize my genius so far. Once I am stimulated enough by a help of a spirit so the dirt and shackles imposed upon my mind thx to mundane retardation I thank the spirit their service and I eject them before they burn in the blaze of my mind. They can be around me as long as I remain on their level. Not to mention I have several spirit forces and if they have an expertise on a matter I ask them because it's 0 effort and they almost want me to use them instead of letting them be around do nothing. My spirit ecology is not the same as yours. And I wrote this into a spoiler because I don't want to expand on this topic now. All I care about what vision you have for fringe. It's too late for me to look through x threads with swarming entity presences to notice a "Pattern" you don't want to reminded by as I post leisurely. This thread was not meant to be my magnum opus initiation thread. This was meant to be a let's talk about how we experience awakening. Fuck I hate how I don't have the whole day to post on the web like you do. Being called a phoneposter is as insulting as calling you a tranny discord mod. I am sure you have seen the pic how Plato marked what Socrates said with the same quotation marks as we do on imageboards? That was my goal while writing like that while trying to keep the character limit down and not waste 30% more time with overediting when my thread was ruined with porn already

>>1896 >insult None of this is meant as an insult, it's just how I feel and think. I just place very little attention on how someone's Ego will perceive what I say. /fringe/ used to be "the library" entity, and that connection I think cannot and will not be erased. But there has to be an infrastructure of some kind, and it will have to look like something. It has in the past looked like different kinds of boards in different places, using the same name, or variants which didn't at first use the name Fringe, but something associated but intended to give it a feeling of not being a central location, such as /squirrel/ and /tavern/ on meguca. The name itself may not be super important, but now it's been made known like this, so it is what it is. I think though that the term "fringe knowledge" can be applied to refer to both what is at the fringes of mainstream society, and what is at the fringes of esoteric society, making it a place in-between. Also the idea that the thread was "ruined" because of a single post that really had to be made to include an essential reference, this sounds like it comes from one of the spirits you are unknowlingly channelling, who now has trouble using this thread to tune its posters into their own perfect channel. I'm already using an astral device for making myself into a perfect channel, but consciously, which is completely opposite to the mindless channelling where your mind has to be driven down into a state of thinking about something else. This feels like the main conflict here. Although I do channel a lot of what I write, I'm doing this to make my statements valid, but letting them represent larger groups out there. I can't accept this unknowling meddling into my mind which many of them want to perform, such as those ETs who prefer to turn everyone into obedient "open" channels by injecting them with graphene and whatnot, which just makes them into antenna units, preferably with no soul at all. They get pissed off when someone has a strong self awareness like me, and even as I type this some group of them appeared. This is motivating me to continue "ruining" the thread, apparently I am making some spirit group upset enough that they are trying to choke me, so I have to be on the right track. Because spirits who act this way vs me when I am just trying to help people, this is for you: FUCK YOU, GO TO HELL. You just showed me that you ''care" about what I do, and that it has value to you to stop me. SO I WILL DO EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING NOW UNTIL YOU PAY ME TO STOP. If you attack me, I will eliminate you, get it, ET tards or what the fuck you are?

>>1900 It seems that did the job. They were some kind of very hostile spirits living in a geographical area and its related dimensions. Now it's making perfect sense, they have previously attacked me when interacting with someone who has heritage in the same area. /int/ has a name for them which is directly an insult, I never paid attention to it because I didn't see anything in this area. Now that I did, it was like looking behind a curtain and seeing a hidden trench with beings crawling in the mist. This explains a lot. >>1896 After clearing the area with Rosicrucian fire, I came to look at you, and saw what appeared as sigils carved into your body like infected wounds. The forms are the correct witch sigils I see on people including on the astral, but in your case they were "infected" by these spirits and looked like dark cuts in your skin, really nasty. I took then out because they were of the same kind who attacked me, so now they're gone.

>>1901 (cont. 2) There was also some kind of occultist or leader with a black pentagram in a circle under his feet who seemed like a local leader of this group, along with some henchmen around him who also had stronger energy and similar dark inscriptions on their bodies.

>>1845 if I try posting with a magus flag, I'll feel that I'll have to be even more careful than otherwise with what I post, because it'll be more likely that someone will call me the fuck out for being wrong if I say something wrong since I'm supposed to know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about t. has yet to read much further down this thread than the aforementioned post

>>1903 Hello there, fellow Magus! Nice to see I am not alone in this desolate part of the Internet! Today I made a sandwich with zucchini and and American dressing. Did you ever consider how it sounds like Sand-Witch? I think of this every time, it makes me wonder if there is a connection to the so called sand-people often discussed in these parts of the web. Maybe an Arabic witch? Do these exist? What wisdom may we find if we explore this topic, I wonder? The limitations are only within ourselves!

Let's continue the joke then >>1900 Finally you managed to put on your serious wizard pants instead of the haha am le funneh lol your all dumb am trolling aren't I funny shitpants >Wha am saying dumb shit and people don't understand why am I doing it? They are so bound by their ego lolle guess I should troll harder! I never understand you when you pull out that personality of yours. The only thing others can do when that happens is to leave you alone like a retarded child on the playground. If anyone interacts with you then they are dumb DUMB! for doing that. Srsly it's so hard to even interpret that mindset of yours. This is the best way I can even describe it. And it bothers me because it's not well articulated enough for your "wizard mind" so you can understand what am I trying to say. You might think you insulted my "ego" but my problem was that I had no idea wtf you want when in the previous threads you complained about divisive intents and called others fucking CIA because they didn't have the best way to express themselves. You became the most divisive shit in the thread with no way to show your willingness to create unity or a way forward. You just did a "lol this is u post" then defended your position till the end on that. Now I have to go and look through your fav place on x to understand how am I reminding you about that way of posting so your thoughts and feelings can continue being productive on fringe. My problem was not that you expressed your thoughts but all you managed to do is to waste my time with it instead of showing a way forward. Oh wait I guess the wait forward is succgen now. Great. Bet it will increase my productivity tenfold after interacting with an egregoric slop with astral cumrags. Oh and b4 u say lol ur so ego bound. No this is my fucking rage that is not finding a proper outlet again because you have a hidden fetish for angering people and entities instead of realizing how to guide their thought process in a healthy way. Congrats for also losing your shit at the end of the post btw. For some reason I am the calmest under combat but the most annoyed when I have to suffer through inane social interactions because I have no idea wtf is their problem at all. >/fringe/ used to be "the library" entity, and that connection I think cannot and will not be erased We are on the same page with this understanding. Especially on the will not be erased part. >But there has to be an infrastructure of some kind Yeah and I am trying to be part of the (re)building process while no one dares to grant me solid ideas how to do it better. All you managed to say is that it's not to your liking because I replied to your post with a 1 liner and not even a suggestion what the correct way of posting should look like. Then you said it in such a memetically inane way even more people got angry in my stead thus making you more trolley and making me unable to continue the conversation in a productive way at all. And when that happens you are unwilling to let go until someone "hits a nerve" so you have to put on the akchully am a srs wizard pants. For some reason it always happens when I stop posting and go to sleep. I always hope it's unrelated. Psychic anomalies and their causes are usually mixed as heel and that is why they are anomalies. >I think though that the term "fringe knowledge" can be applied to refer to both what is at the fringes of mainstream society, and what is at the fringes of esoteric society, making it a place in-between. Yes that is the goal. Finding the connection points between the worlds and teach everyone to be able filter out the parasites society implanted into them by default. Everyone is "somewhat open" and the goal is to help them find the way of cleaning out the transmission hijackers and grant their way to retain their intuition. If they had no intuition they wouldn't be on fringe. They have their ways and insights but it's clogged and jammed by forces beyond their notice. The goal here is to find the common perception where we can see all of them. >Also the idea that the thread was "ruined" because of a single post that really had to be made to include an essential reference And why didn't you keep it in your thread where you described in extreme detail how to have sex with entities? Because of that I had to switch gears and start explaining how sex with entities can work towards awakening so this thread doesn't look like the "magician's barely disguised fetish thread". It was not "ruined" but you set the theme in a way where it is not propelling anyone towards awakening but towards lust or disgust and i went and tried to keep it on theme. And as I went to talk to the other poster who is literally going through similar awakening symptomsAnd the main reason why I made this thread so we can continue talking in this way instead of making the question thread unusable. You go even further and compare me towards a succgenschizo. And yes the reason why I called it /general/ because I knew it would get that messy and this is more of a containment thread that I expect to last. I know how threads on /vg/ look even tho I am barely on that board. >it comes from one of the spirits you are unknowlingly channelling It comes from my fucking frustration that you started to use this thread as a "relax thread" then you went and started to complain how my leisure posting looks like a fucking phoneposter from succgen without highlighting whatever is making me similar at all at the start. The way I post is literally schizoposting and whenever someone gets passionate on a topic they all write in similar ways. I cannot believe that succnigger connection is the only thing that made your mind come up with. And no this is not just my own observation. Indigopill called you out on it before I even had time to make the conversation go into a proper direction at all. My problem is not that HURR YOU INSULTED ME HOWDAREYA AM BIG WIZZOR but you don't understand the flow of energies outside of your own magic circles thus now I have to figure out ways how to match your perception because there is no way you didn't see this coming. Which makes me thing what you did was deliberately unproductive while I know it's not. I am not understanding the direction of your actions at all. I have no idea how are you even unable to see the energies and currents you create by posting. When I looked at your mental part that caused you to post like that all I have seen was a old sandy rocklike mental block. If we have no respect towards the currents we create and interact with then we have no right to call ourselves a Magus. Mages had to take an oath how they will respect and uphold the magical truth of their ways. Those who broke that became warlocks cut from their main truth and all they could do is prey upon others for the scraps so they can get by. When you put on your shitpostpants I have no idea what you are trying to do. Saying all I wanted to do is to have fun would be "k" but then you say "it was a deliberate srs spell you wouldn't get it" then not willing to answer at all so you can keep your "shitpostmagic" going. We can bring back the shitpostmagic of fringe but are we really on that level? I am seriously asking because then I too have to stock up on memes by scrying the future energies of fringe instead of wasting time on effortposts. Hope someone else will effortpost in my stead and help neophytes and initiates while I am watching anime and porn to have the most proper meme for this energetic current. >Although I do channel a lot of what I write, I'm doing this to make my statements valid, but letting them represent larger groups out there Okay... You see I am less sensitive so entering into my mind is far harder for thoughts and entities. I literally have to "pull them in" most cases. The reason why I have a "somewhat open channel" in my mind because when I think through my posts while writing them I have a personal self check mechanism. A sort of "am I saying it correctly and in a way others can understand?" It's a sort of autism and makes me hold back quite a lot in the past. Now I use this self check system to include a cluster of spirits that can "interject" and tell me if they know something or not. They help me bridge my future and energy current notifier skill while I am busy writing and formatting. You know how you make mistakes while typing and channeling constantly. I am trying to minimize that until the true form of my skills awaken. Most of them are higher ones but when my energies go haywire others can slip in and once I notice them I integrate the correct energy so I don't have hasty openings anymore. Yoga practices are all about stimulating these openings of the body. >This feels like the main conflict here Yes. And for some reason it took you this long to say it. >I can't accept this unknowling meddling into my mind which many of them want to perform You see I am quite stubborn. Which makes my mind quite hard to meddle with. i want to see how these entities can alter an absolutely hostile environment and if they do they have to explain themselves or I have to figure out a way anyways. I will have actualize a higher "Openness" anyway and I will have to notice the hostiles before they enter. Pure consciousness is something else than "merely channeling". >those ETs who prefer to turn everyone into obedient "open" channels I too hate them and noticing their energies is only possible once they try to creep in. When you notice that something is amiss. I don't want to be a singular being of truth who is still blind of the ailments of everyone around me. Because it will turn out I am affected since the start but never notice because it was always here. And no this is not obedience this is a molṑn labé where they have no choice but to show themselves if they try. And I have hard time believing you are able to fully close yourself off. But I will not look into your spirits to confirm it. >when I am just trying to help people >>1905 Boy this post was truly helping! >>1860 So is saying that akchully I was not critiquing the longpostmancer I was akchully talking about someone else on a completely different imageboard who doesn't even post here! HOWDAREPEOPLENOTGETTHAT??? HE EVEN HAS A NAME! k this is getting unproductive. Even I am bored reminiscing about it. The reason why I overpost is to try to make myself clear as possible. To avoid squabbles like this. If people don't want to read my post then they can scroll through it. Once fringe retains the proper amount of posters I will post smaller more compact replies and only if no one answers a question or a problem that I am well equipped to solve. >>1901 >living in a geographical area Where >/int/ has a name for them which is directly an insult k now you have to write that down because if you managed to eliminate those spirits that I am thinking you are referring to then I am super mega thankful. >After clearing the area with Rosicrucian fire Felt like a shower of liquid sunshine? >The forms are the correct witch sigils I see on people including on the astral >but in your case they were "infected" by these spirits and looked like dark cuts in your skin, really nasty Uuuuhhhhh. That... uhm... totally can happen. You see thanks to high energy overload I am doing I have hard time feeling pain. I am constantly increasing my sensitivity for the sole purpose of being able to feel pain better. Which is "bad" because I have to feel pleasure too and not just pain which means I have to balance out the 2 polarities and I am quite reluctant to let myself be taken by pleasure. It's a a complex I am trying to finally overcome. >I took then out because they were of the same kind who attacked me, so now they're gone. Pls describe them. I need to confirm something.

>>1893 >Do you want to be like them? Well obv not I am not passionate enough about succs like that but... fringe needs to realize a passion and figure out ways they don't come from entity influences. The goal is to explore the ways of those influences in this thread. Realizing the true focus of the awakening instead it's energetic turbulence. Sometimes you have to fall for them to learn from it while sometimes you have to get rid of them so they stop hindering you. Even with all my experience I am not sure how to apply some of my techniques in different situations at all. >No names or trips are consistently used I want them to be last resorts when the flags don't work anymore. Smiley hated tripfags and seeing what tripfags made fringe into with their constant drama they proved him right. Which fringe banned trips again? I forgot. Paying attention to flags was paramount there. And it still worked didn't it. >but seeing as the style is exactly the same K now my hardest lesson will start. Realizing what is the proper style. I am srsly not sure. Especially if you have to talk through specific issues of others. >We are not /x/, right? Seemingly more shit is being brought from /x/ day by day... I cannot decide if you want to be for or against it at all. I am not saying we must be "not /x/" at all costs because it's like we are a properly magic oriented /x/ instead of a guysisbigfootreal guys am I a ghost? WHO WAS PHONE and other creepypastas and other barely above mundane "occultism". Obviously we must avoid ng tier retardation at all costs but... it's already here... at least it's still contained in the doge thread. With matching energies of hopeless retardation. >>1840 >Why exactly should this board exist in the first place if it's just going to be a slower copy of /x/? Seriously. Why do you even care about 'reviving' it if you don't care about the quality of the content? He made a good point tho. How do we find the "sanctity of Fringe"? A phenomenon that we rarely managed to manifest in it's purest forms even in the past but it made such an impact upon us that we are still here? Also I hate to say this guys but the main reason I didn't energetically blast this thread at the start because it was "spelled" >>1775 and a guy appeared and put a protection on me so I thought this thread is "protected" enough but if you were that attacked and my posting is that bad I am not sure what are we protected from at all??? Not to mention >>1813 >Felt some weird energy before sitting down to the laptop. Wondered the fuck it was. Potent and centered in the middle and everything else around it are hazy shadows only the center mass matters nothing else huh? This is what bothers me. That thing was like being tripped on a ball. Almost lost my balance for a sec. For me that felt like a "problem" might be on fringe. Is this whole thing the manifestation of that? I think I will rest this case for a while. All I am feeling is a mess of unproductivity. Not to mention succgen is active and active threads especially generals always look that way. I have no idea how to make that not repeat and if we try to self censor we just slow ourselves down. Am not sure how to make this "chaos" appealing especially when I knew it will be this unappealing from the start. I fucking hate analyzing /x/ tbh. There is just so many things going wrong there but it feels "Normal" because the imageboard culture is so chaotic already it blends in until you take a deeper sip of it. Not sure how to avoid that while making fringe more active. Maybe we are focusing on the wrong issue altogether? Mendokusai

>>1907 Ok, I will just try to be accurate while avoiding all the political angles that in any other context was instantly derail what I'm trying to say in 100 ways. Pic very related. This pentagram system is indeed an existing thing, and its inner points are ancient temple sites of human sacrifice. It may even predate the current period and originate in the Atlantis era. If you look closer you can see that it also connects Lyon where CERN is placed, Rome with the Vatican and other places. This thing is the reason for the hate again Poland, it's simply old karma. The area I am talking about has a name on /int/, they call it the "butthurt belt" and it refers to the nations who were part of the Soviet Union and for that reason are now the most extreme NATO cucks. The funny thing here is that the spirits who attacked me as I wrote the post above, almost exact matched the "butthurt belt" map as often posted. Memes included for reference only Further infiltration revealed occults who were using the large pentagram of evil as their energy source, and they seemed like a main reason for the immense weapon support being sent to Ukraine outside of the Ukrainian Jesuits themselves. The only hang up here is that these are pro-Polish in their own heads so they are not fully pro-Ukraine, but they still belong to the spiritual trench which was somehow dimensionally hidden here in this marked area. They appeared like white humans, literally white like snow, many of them were a kind of "females with an attitude" and they always attack by trying to choke the person, they grab around your throat and you will feel it physically, they have that much power to break through, and this has happened repeatedly when talking to another person with Polish roots, as well as just walking by the house of my neighbour who was from Poland. (to be cont.)

>>1908 As for the reason for the thread-starter and the following chaos, this was simply a well tested strategy to get things to the place where they can function as quickly as possible. I don't know how much but large parts are probably channelled from my past life as the witch Cuddlesworth (street name for character) who spent a lot of time learning warfare by manipulating events from the astral and then possessing soldiers, such as learning everything about trench warfare in WW1. I later manifested my understanding into this life by beating the grand campaign of Close Combat 2, (at least for me) the most accurate war simulator ever made. Pulling the large system to a place where Russia would actually enter Ukraine took a lot or work during a long time, but the strategy was already clear, and it has since followed that successfully, so this again just shows that my understanding is correct: Russia was at first weak and disorganized, but they have resources and can fix this if put under pressure, so just do a retard rush in and it will work out. They did this with that long column and later getting fooled by the puppet regime to stop aggressions, only to be routed back to the east in a very messy way. It it was necessary to get the military organization to wake up so they had to be burned and given a shock. The nazi presence was easy to read energetically and that was a real problem, so those had to be used up in some way, killing them without them rebelling. It mostly worked, and the majority of them were killed in Bakhmut, enough that their following rebellion could be made to fail. Because with Russia it is not a problem of resources, loyalty is the most important point. Then when the Ukrainians were to counter with all that western equipment it was again very dangerous, but it was possible to just go full retard back to WW1 again, placing artillery at great distance, building trenches, mine fields and machine gun nests with the focus of an autist who never realized "time progressed since 1919''. And we can see that this worked. So this is another example of a recent real life application of the method of just throwing chaos onto the field and then letting it wear down the already fixed rules of engagement until everyone is confused and forced to now react to your absolute retardation, because after all you can always drag people down and beat them with experience if they are trying to act intelligently, and it's the perfect method for removing prejudice in threads on imageboards as well if you have time to control the flow. I had this strategy on 4chan also, when starting a thread you need to get past the first 70 posts before you can have discussion, because those will just be shills, CIA, phoneposters, racists, haters and trolls in general. If your thread is still alive and not deleted you can then move on to the actual topic. Look at this thread here now and you can see that it even worked in here, ignoring that there aren't any actual shills posting, but the spirits were still playing this role so the same rules applied.

I meant to reply to the first post with both of the above.

>>1909 >This thing is the reason for the hate again Poland, it's simply old karma. Yeah Poland has it's deep seated karma and grudges that they hold against others way too deeply and they constantly cause diplomatic tensions because of it. I think Poland is hated because once they started to emigrate most of them were extremely low class aka the polish toilet cleaner meme and criminals and let's not talk about The worst breed of jews that all come from Poland. They are the bloodthirstiest. I call them "crusader jews" and without them there is no Israel. I am sure they consider themselves the descendants of David with their zeal >almost exact matched the "butthurt belt" map as often posted Yeah we are not part of it anymore with all the cockblocking we do to NATO in he last 2 years but yeah... they kinda overlap my influence >The only hang up here is that these are pro-Polish in their own heads so they are not fully pro-Ukraine Poles hate Ukies as hell. It's just they hate Russia more and made everyone forget how they hate Ukraine and they keep that mentality because once they stop they think Russia will kill them for sure. Poland made us closer to WW3 at least 5 times so far. Ukraine doesn't have a single neighbor that truly likes them. Only the propaganda keeps them "liked" >but they still belong to the spiritual trench which was somehow dimensionally hidden here in this marked area. Am gonna be fucking real with you. I encountered this when I opened a gate while doing Kabbalah and Hitler yelled at me from a moldy trenched frontline... ffs. This is what happens when you ignore some spiritual weirdness. Fuck. I will also do a larger cleaning now. >many of them were a kind of "females with an attitude" That is the average eastern European woman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRVmMTlLHD8 vid related. I hate to say this but you truly need an Orclike wifebeater vibe to keep them at check. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwDrHqNZ9lo Oh and this classic too >they always attack by trying to choke the person, they grab around your throat and you will feel it physically, they have that much power to break through I thought that's foreplay for them. They dislike weak males. Just stare at them like a hungry wolf stares at a lamb in the night alone in the forest. I don't know how it works but they are aggressive until they know they are safe and once that illusion of safety is shattered it's submission for survival. Then you have to go extra lengths to make sure it's the real thing and not just the act... ffs now I understand how Jesuits operate here. >when starting a thread you need to get past the first 70 posts before you can have discussion, because those will just be shills, CIA, phoneposters, racists, haters and trolls in general. If your thread is still alive and not deleted you can then move on to the actual topic. Yeah and I noticed it at the start. This is why I played along. Just was not sure wtf to do inbetween besides talking to people who actually want to talk about the topic of the OP. Srsly it's impossible to not exhibit the usual symptoms of generals here. >it was necessary to get the military organization to wake up That is Russia in the last 300 years lol. They are always the >don't wake up the bear nation and when it happens it's a OH FUG HOW DO I USE MY CLAWS AGAIN >loyalty is the most important point always was >but the spirits were still playing this role so the same rules applied Yeah was expecting an another spirit "tribe" so to speak that is also within this belt and a scourge on Europe. Pic related was my guess. Found some geographical locations connected to them and they have weird ways of merging with lower level spirits for "luck" and other survival mechanism. I am not bothered by them too much but they have a low level sparsely connected network. Found a landmark that they control in Spain some days ago in a dream. Was wondering maybe you are referring to them. The OG proto-pajeets. >>1911 Ckecked

>>1912 >Found a landmark that they control in Spain some days ago in a dream Like it was above Madrid but didn't reach the shores... and now I am seeing that the Pentagram line is north to it. Still not sure what to make of it yet. I think I am connecting to some older network of Europe but... whatever. I'm gonna untrench the shit I have around. Thx for sharing this. Knowing that it's here granted me a greater insight how to demolish the retardation the WW1 enablers created. The only grudge that is deeper than the butthurt the soviets created is WW1 itself.

>>1893 >(in your shadow) being used Oh and yes these "females with attitude" can nest in that shadow of mine. That is a part that my extremely angry male shadow keeps in check so if the male shadow is focused or pissed at something the female part of the shadow can be exploited. Not for long tho.THUNDER

>>1912 >>1914 I just vacuum bombed the area with Rosicrucian fire and never did they submit. I did however find one loli and one older ok upon further interaction she said she is 14 but whatever, she has adult body witch in the hidden dimensions of the trench, my Raids evacuated them when clearing some bunkers. There were also people yelling in British English which makes me think MI6 are involved here ("Oh good lord" etc). There is still some hint of them right now, which indicates they are possibly hiding in, and attacking from, your personal dimensions. I guess I'll have to clear those too even if they are technically not "mine" because if they can touch me, I can touch them.

>>1915 Live updates my ass... that script breaks every now and then it seems. Was feeling something weird and I didn't exactly "bomb them". I do not care about the "Personnel" I care about the trenches. They are energetic abominations that are meant to "ship soldiers into the fray no matter what". I do not care what happens with them. The trenches will be remade into the original formation which was here before Christianity decided to be a "thing".

>>1917 >how hard it must be to remake some trenches lol >just look at the previous forms it took and apply it as the earth and blood elementals work <Hi which version of the land do you want to appear? *proceeds to beam 3000 years of history into my brain* I forgot about that bosnian pyramid ffs I thought this will be just move some energies not a fucking mindfuck history lesson. Why the fuck did I go and ask "which version of the land is the best" and thought it will be some archaic looking European Shinto gates like those I encountered b4. Now I have a cosmic zipfile in my brain that I have to untangle with the currently accepted "concepts". Just googled how the Bosnian Pyramid is only at a "pseudotheory" level. Fucking landmarks I swear.

>>1917 >They are energetic abominations that are meant to "ship soldiers into the fray no matter what" So that's how they are able to send every last Ukrainian into the meat grinder. I did some divination after asking the Queen of the real casualty numbers because I didn't believe them but she kept giving WW1 scale losses which kept being confirmed by Astra. Looking at the population "pyramid" from wikipedia shows the new recruits in age group 25 -27 are a mere ~150k, and they say they need 800k replacements. 31k dead, and 40k MIA officially. The Queen said the real population on the Ukrainian soil is now 18 mil total, even official figures said something like 10 - 15 mil left the country as refugees alone and the average age of soldiers is 43. Putin said Ukr losses are 5x Russian losses. UK says Russian losses are 1000 daily. When Nazi Germany attacked Russia they had 3000 casualties daily and this was normal operation for the German army on that frontline. What makes people believe it's different now when weapons are more effective but they are still fighting in the same way?

>>1891 >I have that dream all the time That usually means a mental block or a parasite. I am refining and tuning my mind all the time so I rarely have a dream more than twice. I look into singular dreams too to know what does my deeper psyche want if they are vivid enough. >was a regular 'nightmare' type thing No such thing! Once it's recurring the psyche has hard time processing something. Always look into that. Your mind is your greatest treasure and tool. >I suppose I take the internet for granted. We take so many things for granted it's ridiculous. Literacy shelter food and water supply hygiene all the freely available knowledge and education so "we don't have to think for ourselves" thus many people didn't manage to develop their problem solving skills and expect other people/the system to solve their problem all the time and in some cases even willing to die before trying to think for themselves. >but I might have to look into this "elemental of electronic technology" thing It's not simple. You see regular "electronic technology" is more akin to regular elemental forces like water or blood. They have a flow and a methodology which is quite bound to the physical. Now the internet is different because it's more "memetic". While technically it's the electricity and radio waves that connects us ultimately what drives the formation of these energies is "human interaction" so it's like how the spirit of the marketplace or the library and other places "formed" via spirits noticing the patterns and energies humans did then "Played along" and somewhat developed currents that the humans and the spirits could use for common benefit. It's quite a long topic tbh. But the internet is young. It goes through radical changes in 3-7 years all the time. The internet in the early 2000s and in the 10s is everything but the current landscape we have. Which means it's quite fluid and how the "collective unconscious" energies and the realm they create is quite unpredictable if you don't have a direct view upon them. Not to mention in some cases it requires an extremely specific mental framework/frequency to be able to interact with them. They merge split and transform all the time. >I did apologize since the image I used was a bit over what I intended what did you post? >ever since then my router's had a red error light on at all times Yeah Gensokyo is figuring out how it can connect to the "physical" parts of the internet and it might be because Yuuka told me the egregore cannot "contain me further" 2 years ago so I told her then I will reinforce the egregore with "my ways" and my ways are a sort of "technomancy" and while the internetmagicians are all about sharing memes and sigils I went and said fuck it we are connecting to all the energies humans circulate instead. Time to refine the RAWness of the internet This "spirituality is not compatible with technology" you have to go innawoods and meditate for 20 years for a glimpse of awakening "requirement" because normalfags are that overtaken by the parasites technology is birthing into their mindspace needs to stop. This overcoming the hurdles of technology started as Shiva started to give me his guidance because thx to my earlier technomancer achievements like fixing faulty equipment with my will making my car go far over it's possible speed limit and other shenanigans I did actually created weird energy blocks in my subtle body... which meant to "clean them" I destroyed electronics left and right as my awakening energies soared. Suddenly drained several car batteries at once lights flickering etc when I had a breakthrough. There are still weird anomalies like that when I don't watch over with it but I am getting better at it. What I wanted to say with this that I have a relationship with technology already and I had to understand the "karma" it caused and as I went through with that I realized just how much problems people are causing for themselves without noticing. But here is the thing. Nowadays people get acquainted with spirituality and spiritual themes via technology and media. Texts pictures movies games via the internet alone. No more sacred grimoires or masters who never even interacted with technology... which means technology is granting people awakening already without the involvement of most spirits. Yes you can channel spirits if a human creates the necessary medium for the spirit to pass through but most spirits hate electronics. It is on a bad or untamed vibration for them. But radiowaves are different. Because telephone can transmit sounds voice and emotions at a high fidelity already they can use that technology the same way as telepathy. For proper telepathy you need a proper connection but people are plagued with the connections that the internet put into them already. This is why humans have more and more societal issues because it's not the "real thing" not to mention how parasocial some people become. Do you know what forces had to deal with this "Not being flesh" and "parasocial issue" for thousands of years? Yupp Spirits and Gods. So what if there was a way for them to connect to it before humans create a hell they can only escape by completely abandoning the internet and technology that gets even more internetbound every year. What if we can have a spiritual internet Renaissance where if a monopoly decides to make their services into the worst form of internet and oppression that just makes users angry and unhappy unable to continue their healthy lifestyle then suddenly it crashes? Why create economic incentives why brainwash everyone why not just go and overload the infrastructure if it's obvious they want to ruin everything? Why go through that much drama pain and suffering (a very annoying energy spirits have to deal with when humans generate too much of it) when you can LITERALLY short circuit it. Like how people call phones "Nightmarebricks" nowadays because they cause more harm than good. You might think what I wrote down is a "carrot and stick" control mechanism but it's more like giving the spirits a way so they can put out forest fires before it's too late. The suffering and distress humans have nowadays are 90% related to the technology or to the internet somehow. Isn't that weird? When were you mad about something that had nothing to do with technology at all? Even weather is being manipulated and predicted via technology. What is "not bound" by technology nowadays? Can you even name anything? The thing is spirits will nest in any object or technology "given the time" but until proper spirits can assume a "healthy energy circulation process" most technology will be just filled with the most common and low energies. This it won't be "good for the conscious" at all. Especially this planned obsolescence is ruining everything. The entire industry is about "making trash" because creating products that "Last" (and it's extremely good for the spirits to get used to) is not (((profitable))). Like that article about "curing people is a not sustainable business model for bigpharma". Yeah I am sure sick and poor people have such a purchasing power. This mentality where creating trash and trash people with it must go. With this the spirits have ways finding the "Internetbound" people faster because a screen is a portal into an "another world" already. Why not make it a little more easy to use for spirits and people with potential? Just a little nudge here and there.It will not become a LET'S ALL LOVE LAIN scenario but the fact that you can access gensokyo far easier thx to their widespread influence already is quite spectacular. I remember when it was mentioned on sunflower when BO had one of his first speaker problems and I connected to that energy. It was like a cold static energy with internet dial up beeps then I got a glimpse of a myriad of mostly yokai faces. Didn't expect them to learn it this quickly but for them it's just a little "channel tuning" like going to a different river/current(in an another dimension). >do energy work to 'clean the meridians' of the internet like how you can with a biological human body? pls cleanse your human body from the ailments of the technology first. Do not put vital essences into the technology until you are not healthy af and know which energies are vital for your mindbody complex. The trick is not to put your "own energies" into the streams of the internet but modify the flow of things. >why I've never tried to integrate magic with the internet in a direct way like that For some reason it was quite surprising that this is such an unexplored territory most places have "No owners" at all thus they are just harmful energetic anomalies that require cleansing asap. But this is a complex matter. "Creative planes" already have their "artists" and "spirits of inspiration" channeler dynamic so you cannot touch that absentmindedly but many lower structures are unattended. It's a weird source of potential >Virtual_Adepts What I want is to give back the "organic truth" of the internet instead of making it into this "convergence of shit" that it managed to turn into. But if you truly want to go into that virtual adept route you will have to contact the Greys because they are the ones that have similar mentality. My problem with them is that they reached a "super psychic" "merger with technology and DNA" phase then reached a hard ceiling they cannot surpass without trashing their entire mentality. They are too dependent on their scientific understanding of reality and forgot the "spirit of things". What I want is to increase the "spirit of things" so humans don't forget their humanity further. My idea is a strange endeavor and more of an "experiment" to see different applications of truth in an evolving society but the spirits truly like the way I think. >use magic to project their consciousness into the internet. What I want is a little different. I want to cleanse and correct the collective unconscious illness that is only possible by the misuse of the internet. Spirits always had ways to guide humans for better or worse. With the internet the rules changed and it's consequences are unpredictable. Real life applications I can mention is barely on the "superstition" level but it works. Like Taiwanese has this "custom" where they put some green snacks on the servers so the "spirits of the machine" is sated. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuai_Kuai_culture There was that legend about some Turkish airline where the pilot had to ask the plane nicely to work. But the funniest is...KOSHER MACHINES. THE JEW NEEDS THEIR KOSHER MACHINES SO THEY CAN USE IT ON SABBATH WITHOUT BREAKING A COMMANDMENT. And let's say those people are not very well liked by spirits with their "protection spells" evading karma all the time. But that is an another story Oh and to continue the theme of our conversation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWKcJwuZnzE

>>1923 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKnAWcWnJJc

poof! disappears

"You've got the right idea, but the wrong target. Kill yourself - not your body, but the you that is no better than swine. Kill that bastard completely, and let your true self bloom from the decaying body of the old." - The Flower of Hell

>be me >do my daily work routines >around noon think that my thread is kinda lost traction after that autistic argument about the way we should post in the thread and wonder what to do about it >remember how I found out how to mend the flow of energies long ago then moved the energies a little but didn't do it enough so it can be considered a serious spell >realize increasing the energy flow of the thread when I am too busy anyways is not necessarily a good idea and focus on other issues instead >finally finish work >open fringe >>2019 >kys Better than nothing I guess. Shame it's real hard to "kill" that part until understanding it's main function. It literally "forces you to live" and until understanding your main purpose "by living" it's real hard to get rid of it. >no better than swine It seems to look like a violent swamp monster made from poison and bile. Guess I will diffuse it and integrate it's functions. Message received even if it wasn't for me but to the general audience. Was feeling that one of my subconscious mechanism is in the process of going out of control in the past weeks but it didn't manage to reach a serious stage yet so I wanted to see where it is going. >The Flower of Hell Was wondering if this is a quote a song lyric or a proper channeling so I googled it. Annnd Higurashi had an opening with this name https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PoCxreRoA0 kino

>be someone else >suddenly recall who I was >forget it again

>>1818 Sup been a while fren >Yeah we got too used to chats and SMS texts and the mandatory literacy we have made us think humans know letters by default yeah and it's not just speaking either, we know words as concepts so that's how it appears when you receive the message, but that's a limitation we put on ourselves. It's more akin to a signal that you autotranslate using the closest words and meaning you can and that's close enough if you can read the feelings sent to you with each word. >then they are not sure what are the "rules" because you were not able say it or project it. The spooky thing is i've been projecting the "wrong" rules and that's why there is a pattern in how every fucking entity interact with me. > Entities will act differently once they know they cannot pull any shit with you. I gotta git gud yes > I know what I am going through is not exactly special and books have less and less new insights for me You can't really copy someone's else enlightenment process. honestly i am kinda getting mad at all these teachers sects guru etc trying to force one way making people not trust their intuition cuz the ascended guru knows better..ugh There is some shared truth and experience and you need some wisdom to not fuck it up but it's still deeply personal even if it's the same spell you'll go through different stuff :/. >I don't believe in entropy. Me neither lol >It sorta is. It connects you to your own "Higher currents" so you don't have to rely on your mundane sense thoughts and experiences. I know i was making fun of myself for being so stuck in my ways even though i want to end it all at the same time. I try too hard instead of letting it flow. After i clean my body proper it should be easier my back has to be cleared now. >A man can have so many terabytes. Storage is cheaper these days so i just might start hoarding. but like most magic books are boring to me, maybe i just hate ritual magic but even as a neophyte i would roll my eyes at complicated steps. >That's not how magic works wait how do i know how it works? Complicated steps take the magic out of magic for me. It should be effortless a hand gesture at most if you need extra power on the spot i still have these conditional limiters >We have to continue cleaning this air tho Yeah we play the role of the elements and this thread is the "body" everybody plays their role. It made me happy seeing everyone arguing but i got too excited so i had to isolate myself for a bit :/. > figure out how inedia works and by eating ether itself from the throat chakra Oh i used tentacles to feed I didn't like using the throat and stuff i saw it as a "stupid limitations" it took a while but now i can absorb through anywhere from my body. I used it to not be sleepy as well, then started eating from the sun rays using roots and that's when we first talked on fringe. It's more natural now i can just "inhale" the energy in my body it's there when i need it. Idk if i am the level where i can stop eating and drinking though. >I am finally willing to "absorb it" instead of rejecting it thus keeping my body cold and tense That seems to be the conclusion i'm coming to. You can get spiritually attacked but what is getting attacked exactly? It's like defending a dead man like bruh, i am sure there is a nuance here that i'm missing but this ego stuff is annoying. There is a difference between protecting your integrity material whatever and protecting the "ego" from things that might change him. >That too but you have to notice which parts of your mind is not "allowing it". It's a deep part i'm trying to reach. The part of me that know it all i guess that would be the higher self. > I realized I can figure out how to do that without a waterfall with the mechanisms the waterfall is providing I forgot to say the shower is just mental tool cuz ego limitation or something. I was meditating and got splashed by a ball of water as big as me felt too real so now i can reproduce it. I realize how dense i am sometimes i have to be hit by the magic to reproduce it. >Maybe this is your problem. You have a deep barrier within you.

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>The "Must be a mundane" conforming and the "spiritual thirst" and you think they cannot reconcile at all. Yeah you're right about that I am slowly trying to accept it. IT's complicated all these tangles in my mind. Going deep enough to remember why i believe or feel like that in the first place and why i'm lying to myself even though i know the truth deep down. >You just have to figure out what makes the other beings tick. I am learning the mind wrap thing which is necessary to shapeshift. it's similar to how you change the energy of a place except you apply it to the mind. on that note the mind and body..they're the same Idk how but the body is the mind and the mind is the body just how electricity is magnetism on some level. Some part of the mind relate to some part of the body. Which part of the mind is the key between someone becoming their desired animal and say a berserker. > If they enforce it then they consent on being destroyed or played with until I figure out the nature of their power. Fighting some beings can be more educational than some lessons. Agreed. >I'm not. My pain has a mean to an end. I don't enjoy the suffering of others. It's sexual for me but i only "enjoy" it if it's someone i find interesting whilst others are invisible. It's weird. >why are we sitting at the computer? Why didn't we unplug it? There must be something here don't you think? Right i came here willingly and have to make sense of it i am just mad it's taking so long. >That is extremely symbolic and why she has to drink the blood of the demons so they don't "resurrect". I don't want to spoil it. Don't spoil lol >The goal is to balance out the way you retain knowledge and memories as you "journey" into infinity I like it, you made me recall how i would feel as a kid looking at the sky at night. so much to experience and discover. >Which? Make it intuitive btw. Portuguese :o >iktf so i remembered i had a working principles of thoughfroms and basic energy weaving as a kid but then got rekt by my parents in such a way it made me forget myself for 2 decades, great. I have mixed feelings toward them now. >Ask Gaia about it first k? Fucking with ecology on a whim has consequences. She said it's ok if i do it on one plant at a time and if the plant accepts it. I'll have to learn to talk to plants better instead of relying on nearby spirits. >uh... they kinda formed subconsciously for me. as I was trying to figure out the true power of masochism lol i am both masochists and sadist just an aspect to accept i guess now i understands these mindset better and can turn them off if i want. >Did you look at cat videos? I think cats enjoy being cats You're right, it looks like fun. >. That show truly understood how magic works holy shit. Made me read the manga. It's a good show, i like the style as well. oh right remember the dragon ball thing i mentioned? Some of the memories relate to the way of weaving energies, i can't tell what most of them are it's just ways to move energies to create structures the heart one is particular it's very stable. >>1867 np >>2021 Funny i was gonna make a greentext in this style to to convey how much mad that last experience made me. i guess we're in sync or something. I am just gonna write as an update i guess. I met a woman who put a seed in my body this concluded as an understanding on how i am made of "roots" and how bones are just roots with a different purpose. it was crude at first but i refined the roots till they became "perfected" at my level obv so my whole body became that root thing and i started clearing my organs by making the roots grow there, they always start with the heart and it flow to the obscured dark parts. Also realized how getting older is like a dark mirror slowly turning to you and how we trick ourselves into thinking we're immortal just to function as a human and that is why old people houses look frozen in time and why they hate anything that remind them of their mortality that the world isn't for them anymore and that they will actually die soon and have to face what they tried to escape their whole life. I also mentioned having an astral space before, i only had 2 people there a maid and librarian, the place was left to "be" as i expected it to evolve with me. And it did plants would appear in my house, beings i had to subjugate so that they stop destroying shit and instead play their role earth goblins The maid duty was simply to report what happened whilst i was gone and to make any food i tasted at least once before So i decided to give her a last resort kind of ability the one to "restore the mind" since i was so scared to make the jump and actually shapeshift she was to restore me after some time had passed and thus her alone wouldn't get transformed... i'll green-text what happened next. >check on my astral space >the maid is acting different >"master you and i are the same" >duh you're a part of my mind >"o master give me a name" >thinking >ok you'll be Seriel >she grins >weird sound like the name an angel would have whatever >"sariel is fine too master" >she grows 6 wings and her hair turn silver >weird but ok let me check if it's still me >yup i can posses myself and become her without resistance that's just me >"Master give me an order" >i ask her to protect the place >"yes master" >she creates a giant dome of light >"Master let me transform you" >oh cool she took my directive >things turn sexual as my energy gets crazy >"You force things too much master you have to relax let's try again next time" >realize arch angel sariel is a thing >"Master as i touched you you touched me" >maid is now vomiting on the floor >i almost vomit physically too >my energies are now a mix of drow and whatever sariel did >i can now cast some angel spells >mfw I also met Shugara today, well she could have been staring at me for the past 5 years for all i know. said something along the line of "with you there will be no tricks" and just put something in me that changed my energies again. I am not sure what she did yet it's getting processed.

>learn something >can't talk about it because hidden knowledge >mfw

>>2042 >we know words as concepts so that's how it appears when you receive the message, but that's a limitation we put on ourselves Truth is it's more about "How much your mind can handle" >It's more akin to a signal that you autotranslate using the closest words and meaning you can and that's close enough if you can read the feelings sent to you with each word. Yes. Now my current problem is that I am receiving complete conversations within a single glimpse in a way I was "part of it" and said everything the way I would say if that conversation played out IRL. I have to get used to these "thought rushes" and figure out how the "throttle works" because even in my childhood I had moments of "Eureka" where I solved a problem completely then forgot the answer in seconds then I had to restart the whole process from mundane deduction and other down to earth problem solving perspectives because I couldn't keep up with my "genius". The magic of the mind can be truly peculiar as we uncover it's secrets. >The spooky thing is i've been projecting the "wrong" rules and that's why there is a pattern in how every fucking entity interact with me. Yeah many occultists have hard time understanding what is their authority/presence and why are they being constantly attacked/mistreated. >I gotta git gud yes And someone worthy of respect and awe. Hard to explain in a way the ego doesn't misinterpret it and makes it into an arrogant retardation. >You can't really copy someone's else enlightenment process. But you can learn from it nonetheless. Not to mention I know many people have their "favorite author" in these occult places and when I talk about stuff I encountered they might think I got that from an author that I never heard about. Not to mention I too want to read more so I can see how booksmart occultists are being influenced nowadays because these books have an energetic signature. Sometimes an author writes it while channeling some forces or some entity likes the writings of the author so much it "claims it" and after that it's important to know where "it comes from" especially once it starts to form circles cults and traditions. >honestly i am kinda getting mad at all these teachers sects guru etc trying to force one way making people not trust their intuition cuz the ascended guru knows better..ugh If he was truly ascended then he would really know better but is he really on that level or he is just a little more experienced than the average spiritualist. Hard to say until you truly awaken. The problem with (((modern spirituality))) that it became "trendy" and (((profitable))). There was a reason why Jesus threw out the merchants from the temple. Once money and status becomes a thing in spirituality you cannot expect anything good longterm. Sadly I cannot say what is the right way either but you have to move forward no matter what. >There is some shared truth and experience and you need some wisdom to not fuck it up but it's still deeply personal even if it's the same spell you'll go through different stuff :/. Yupp >I try too hard instead of letting it flow. Figuring the proper amount of effort takes time. >Storage is cheaper these days so i just might start hoarding. This is how I thought like 5 years ago. I will build my gaymin paysee my occult hoard library and become a cyber hermit that will collect everything and study it as long as it takes... was not aware that I can literally connect to infinite amount of knowledge via tuning my mind a little above the average mundane capabilities. Still not willing to delete my data tho. I am still unable to let go of these digital treasures I collected through the years even tho the average occult libraries that are being shared on /t/ are sometimes even bigger. So many books I have no idea when will I even bother reading them. Maybe never maybe tomorrow. >but like most magic books are boring to me They had to go through an "editor" and back then the "scientific mindset" was the "accepted way of writing" which means if you want schizoesque flow of consciousness writings full with emotions truth and an uncanny drivel that makes it entertaining then... you know the place you have to come back to lol Wonder what will be the next level of my expression tbh >wait how do i know how it works? How do you know how your arms work? By cultivating awareness ofc. >Complicated steps take the magic out of magic for me. Sometimes they are necessary. "Magic" only looks "magical" and "mysterious" for the onlookers who have no idea wtf is happening. Once you are not just a "dabbler" but the embodiment of the true way all the limitations and the "rules" will take an absolutely different meaning and you will understand why some steps are necessary and which ones are skippable. Was weird learning that ritual magicians "sacrificed" so much incense and other materials that there was literally a dimension full with the "leftover energies" and merely connecting to that dimension summoned the entity. Some stuff can be so weird once you can breach the veil with less effort than opening your eyes in the morning. >It should be effortless a hand gesture at most if you need extra power on the spot Then you reach the state of the "true intent" the force that shapes reality itself and not even sure what "party tricks" you should even employ anymore. Reality is weird. Especially as you awaken. You feel you can do anything then you realize that it's not exactly that way but the rules gained a new definition that you can utilize better as your awareness of them grows. Always annoying to talk about those "rules" because you have to make sure the person you are talking with is on your wavelength otherwise it's like explaining what is a TV to a caveman. >Yeah we play the role of the elements and this thread is the "body" everybody plays their role. More like a stage for our "play" but yeah it's a good example otherwise. In the past especially in ancient Greece there were open debates and plays to explain for the audience the nature of things. My goal was to make something similar. Supposedly this is the original purpose of the forums anyways. >It made me happy seeing everyone arguing but i got too excited so i had to isolate myself for a bit :/. Yeah the energies were going into several directions. Was not sure if they should be contained or they should play out and reach a "natural equilibrium". I chose the latter because I don't want to make this my "personal thread" with hard energetic rules because it should be carefree as a playground of enlightenment so to speak. I don't want it to become too forced. That limits expression. >Idk if i am the level where i can stop eating and drinking though. Watch out with that. Food is a limitation at first where fasting is recommended so you become more receptive to "divine guidance" but once your energetic reactions become prevalent and you don't have enough grounding it can cause a nuclear chain reaction within your body and psyche and until you don't know how to handle the extra energies weird stuff can happen.I started fasting and stopped fapping at the same time while my awakening was taking up it's speed because I thought I am "above it" and... let's say I had to understand why some things need to be done in baby steps and in "moderation" until figuring out the proper balance. My mind was on a glorious fire and if I was innawoods alone as a hermit the natural balance would have appeared on it's own but while being entangled in mundane retardation? Madness upon madness. Psychic anomaly galore. But it was necessary for me. My thirst was too strong to not let it overtake me >You can get spiritually attacked but what is getting attacked exactly? Depends on the layer you are interacting on. Once your energies truly awaken it is like attacking a firestorm a tsunami a whirlwind etc. Learning to increase my awareness and sensitivity became more paramount than to amass "power". I am not sure what even constitutes as an attack anymore. Once I realize they "truly mean it" I can activate my "rules of engagement" >It's like defending a dead man like bruh Akchully most spirits like to "stay on their domain" aka only fight on their preferred wavelength/vibration. So they kinda dislike when you throw them into the lower tracts of your digestion or into "hard" emelemtal dimensions if they are "Higher" while lower spirits really hate when you burn their entire essence into a pure material via higher energies. Everyone has their range. Even your mind and body. >i am sure there is a nuance here There is. >that i'm missing No this is an important realization. Spirits that have hard time to manifest in the earthern sphere of existence cannot "attack" the flesh body especially it has pristine elements. For them that battlefield is unfavorable so they will brainwash you lure you into realms that gives them an edge etc. while lower spirits can become spooky ass poltergeists in some scenarios or posses others and you have to rip them apart with your awakened energies so they cannot stay stable and manifested in the gross reality. Every being has their silver bullet but that doesn't mean this violent and kill or be killed approach is the one you must pursue till the end. There is a stage where clarity and truth is paramount and every confusion and fear can be dissipated and this warlike mentality becomes more of a burden. But you will see it once you are there. Everything breaks so easily. Learning the art of healing always gives me more insight how strong or fallible we are once the energies are moved differently. >but this ego stuff is annoying. Extremely. >difference between protecting your integrity material whatever and protecting the "ego" from things that might change him. Yeah but you have to realize which is which and I cannot draw a clear line between them yet either. I realized I dislike the word "ego" a while ago. It's not always negative. It has a reason and a purpose to exist. Hard to explain what is it in our world of misconceptions and pointless deceits. >The part of me that know it all i guess that would be the higher self. There is a part of a mind. The "Observer" the "ever silent". Once you learn to "Become it" you can change the angle of your perception in a way you can attune yourself to your higher self better. After that you might see the true purpose of the ego.

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>I was meditating and got splashed by a ball of water as big as me felt too real so now i can reproduce it. Wow. I had to "christen" myself with a bowl of cold water while going almost insane in the middle of the night because my internal elements were going haywire. My spirit was not willing to "stay contained" within the body and had to give it a "reminder". Itwassuchacrazynight. >I realize how dense i am sometimes i have to be hit by the magic to reproduce it. That's the proper way of learning. See the phenomenon experience it on "your skin" then reproduce it. Doing everything by pure intuition is kinda scary. It's like constantly being washed by the waves without letting yourself drown in a way you don't even "try to swim". Keeping the focus and the awareness "afloat" becomes a trouble because you just want to either get out of the water by reflex or some "deep calling" wants to make you drown or dive even deeper and you will need to know if you are ready for that or not. It's fucking fun btw if you don't let your inner paranoid schizo panic and ruin the whole process.

>>2042 >IT's complicated all these tangles in my mind. Yeah it takes time because you have to find the correct order and the proper flow of things. >I am learning the mind wrap thing which is necessary to shapeshift Sounds spooky >it's similar to how you change the energy of a place except you apply it to the mind. There are a million ways to change the energies of every place so I cannot say I fully understand what method you try to internalize yet. >on that note the mind and body..they're the same HAHAHAHA. Yes they are. Until you reach complete body awareness and realize what are the energies that are kinda beyond the body but still within the clutches of the mind then the energies that are beyond the mind but the body "knows them" and ahhhhh. You are on the good track btw. Especially if you are this shapeshift oriented >Idk how but the body is the mind and the mind is the body just how electricity is magnetism on some level. You realize that the entire reality is made from electricity and magnetism right? Like electrons and gravity? It's just they are all on a mildly different "wavelength" or elemental plane of existence. All of them have their purpose and function. >Some part of the mind relate to some part of the body. Yupp >Which part of the mind is the key between someone becoming their desired animal and say a berserker. It's usually an entire system of meridians. Every form every ability/skill is generated by a "different mind"(set). So hard to explain because i have a knack for it and I know I still need to get even better at it. >It's sexual for me It needs to be. Pain and pleasure is 2 sides of the same coin. Just different voltages of the body. I heard some sects call the "pain of awakening" "Birthing pains". Truth is giving birth shouldn't be painful. I know people realized techniques that makes it easy with some exercise nowadays but most people are still so unaware how their body works it's ridiculous. As energies traverse through your body as you awaken there will be a myriad of sensory overloads and malfunctions. It's important to not get scared nor addicted to the feelings because they are temporary and blocking or overloading the necessary "voltage" can... do weird stuff. Srsly hard to explain what does what because "fucking up" usually grants you the "proper feel" and even I had so much I'M A GENIUS :D... then the OH NO I FUCKED UP forever D': moments then figured out the proper way :) so many times it was ridiculous :| Just don't be scared nor reckless. That is the overall goal and feel for things. When you know you are not driven by your lesser ego urges but a singular truth that comes from within. >but i only "enjoy" it if it's someone i find interesting whilst others are invisible. Sounds like how people like to spend time with their "partner" tbh. I too have ways for "pleasure overload" which is knowing how to mix pleasure and pain the right way and not overload things too much so they don't burn out/leave lasting scars. Figuring out how to make the body feel the energies as females feel orgasm in a way it can become a proper energy block clearing mechanism took some time. >Right i came here willingly and have to make sense of it i am just mad it's taking so long. Some beings stay as rocks for thousands of years. What constitutes as slow is always relative. But yes I know how annoying it can be. Patience is a complex virtue especially once you realize how different it is from laziness. >Don't spoil lol Won't. It's faster to experience it than to word the energies of that entire process into a single post. >I like it, you made me recall how i would feel as a kid looking at the sky at night. Yes. These are the feelings you are looking for. >Portuguese :o A weird choice. European Portuguese and not the BRAZIL NUMERO UNO right? >got rekt by my parents in such a way it made me forget myself for 2 decades, great. I have mixed feelings toward them now. I too am mad at them even tho the "game was rigged from the start" for them. Real hard to let go of some things I know. >She said it's ok if i do it on one plant at a time and if the plant accepts it. Yes that's how you do it. >It's a good show, i like the style as well. SEGA webm related >Some of the memories relate to the way of weaving energies, i can't tell what most of them are it's just ways to move energies to create structures the heart one is particular it's very stable. That's cool. Feel free to share them once the knowledge is stable and deep enough so you can express it. >i guess we're in sync or something. Last night I had a dream about fringe and some wizards were yelling about something minor so loud was thinking if I should interject and was wording the reply in my dream as I woke up. Was wondering which kind of premonition was this meant to be. Loud as fuck dream that was. >who put a seed in my body Yupp that is a necessary step. >i am made of "roots" Yes the way meridians and the energies connect are quite "rootlike" so to speak. Had to go through that understanding also. >how bones are just roots with a different purpose A weird way to put but yes. There are several magic forms that require the "bones" as a channeling force. My bones are my own "Magic wand" so to speak. >till they became "perfected" at my level obv That is expected. No need to go above and beyond when you are not ready yet. >how getting older is like a dark mirror slowly turning to you

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Welp. When I was going a little mad and was staring into the mirror I had seen my hair turn while and grow old within an instant. I really thought I fucked up back then. Our current obsession with youth looks and age really fucked up our perception of the true way of things. Calendars and IDs with everyone knowing when they were born how old they are exactly really made us obsessed with it. >why old people houses look frozen in time An interesting perspective. >plants would appear in my house Plants have an important energy circulation mechanism. This is why "paradises" always contain a bunch of plants. >she grows 6 wings and her hair turn silver Yes. You can make your parts "channel forces" and be overtaken by influences and turn them into an "energetic tuning fork" so you can work with entities better. >maid is now vomiting on the floor Yes the energies are not always pleasant. Especially with angels. They usually have a backlash once they are "done". >i can now cast some angel spells Which ones? There are so many angelic dominions and I can interact with several but I am not aware of the "system" they use and... asking about it will just result in a day long lecture about their understanding about reality and I have an "ancient mind" that constantly interjects and wants to lecture the angels about stuff and my poor mundane mind is just hwaaa whaaa the ahhhh? and going through that "mental reformatting" is not always pleasant especially as I witness my lower meridians hardening because my mortal flesh is not "angelic enough". >also met Shugara today, well she could have been staring at me for the past 5 years for all i know. Who was working with her again. I know ⑨ers like her but I have my own Dark God of Death so I never had to interact with her. I am one with the eternal silence already. Still not able to fully grasp it's true meaning tho. Too much pain and I am still using the pain of my current incarnation to shield me from that. I am ready and not ready at once. >"with you there will be no tricks" What a weird thing to say >it's getting processed From my view she did something that can be called "nefarious" but you are a drow mage which makes her energies quite compatible with yours and it might grant you a proper insight into a force of existence. Her mere presence makes me create a crystal lance by instinct which means I am not compatible with her yet.

>>2045 Yeah it's annoying when it's still in the stage of "can't talk about it but I will brag/complain about how I cannot talk about it" My current realization is that once it reaches a solid formation within your existence and it's "Truly yours" and not a mere temporal insight from a foreign force that you must safeguard so it doesn't "escape" as you move the energies nor it gets malformed as others or your own ego misunderstand it. It can be shared once your expression reaches the proper level and your understanding has a proper depth. Most things can be shared easily with others who are on the same wavelength so much so it's like "discussing with them" and not exactly telling them. Like when you realize you know a secret so does the other person know it from different sources and both know that you know then you start talking about it the same time and how ridiculous the whole thing is.

>>2048 I wish it worked that way, but I feel the creator god behind this himself made it so that one cannot see or learn the knowledge without being initiated, which is a permanent one-directional procedure. Once inside, it's just egregorically impossible to even near the topic. I've never experienced something like this before, it's like that spell in Robert Jordan's Dragon Reborn series where the Aes Sedai sorceresses can't lie, but they find ways to always lie by omission instead. Except it's more like the opposite, imagine being forced to lie about everything even when it's against your personal nature to do so, so you try to near the truth constantly only for your mind to avert the attempt automatically.

>>2051 "Hidden knowledge" got a new meaning. It's hidden because trying to expose it will pervert it, but not after being spoken, but before, at such great speed that the words themselves fail before being expressed. Idk how they do it, but it's fully logical when seen. It's like mentally cutting off the branch you sit on, a safeguard against degeneration or dilution of said knowledge. This feels like an early hint at a mentality or creation where the sin will degenerate itself before the mind can even think about performing it, which renders the sin obsolete. The god's must be crazy... but it's a good hint, even if it may be an honest attempt which wasn't done all the way. I wonder what it would be like to not be even able to do or think about karmic things.

On a side note, I allowed my new beast ladies I bought/traded from the federation go around in a pyramid ship to look for a good spot inside my private Earth sphere. The inner Earth is synced with the public Earth so told them to not go there, but the outer Earth isn't known to anyone so it's ok to keep it detached. They found a group of caves there and wanted to settle there, making spears to fish with in the sea. I really love how this turned out, seeing them return to nature like this. Time moves a little faster out there, when I looked back at them again just before, they had grown significantly, I think they got taller also, but they are now muscular like bears from swimming and fishing and climbing. Makes me wonder what humans would turn into if they were allowed to also return to nature.

>>2051 >I wish it worked that way That was just a mere conversational piece from me to know the direction of the thing. You see if it was "truly" hidden knowledge you wouldn't have been able to "complain" how you are not allowed to talk about it. Which makes it into an "Invitation" of sorts. A choice if I play along or get on my way. Was wondering just how much this force wants to "Interact without words". Once I wrote that post I got a vision. A dark smoke and a thing that looked like a truck. Knew this is not a force that I need to battle but to see where it leads. Then a city appeared and as I got closer a cataclysm happened. A storm so severe that it flipped the cars and an earthquake that made the ground slowly split but something was growing out of the ground. It was like a root then thought maybe a tentacle then it took the form of a subway train trying to "escape from the underground". Realized it's the passageway. Didn't really go further with it yet. Reminds me of other forces that I interacted with so I am not sure if it's even the one you are interacting with or some other energy is resonating with the things we talk about. >imagine being forced to lie about everything even when it's against your personal nature to do so, so you try to near the truth constantly only for your mind to avert the attempt automatically. There are defensive mechanism like that. My favorite is still when you lie constantly and it makes people figure out the truth because they realize how those lies contain truth in very small amounts and figure out the "feel" for truth and realize how to shed the lies. Like when eating a fruit you know which are the tasty part which are the seeds and which are the tree itself. Even if you gnaw at the tree you realize it's not as tasty as the fruit so you will stop gnawing at the tree. There is a feel for these truths but I too have to agree that I lack the confidence to be sure of this skill of mine. >>2052 >It's hidden because trying to expose it will pervert it, but not after being spoken, but before, at such great speed that the words themselves fail before being expressed I would say you are "Not allowed" to share it or be it's ambassador/prophet of the force yet. I know what you are talking about. The thought currents are unwilling to manifest on the levels of the physical. Luckily I mostly deal with shit that is like completely pointless to even explain because it would be like an engineer telling a starving child how to build a nuclear rocket. The knowledge is paramount but the child doesn't have the resources nor the thinking capacity to make use of it so it's like a weird tale or a ramblings of a madman for the child. >a safeguard against degeneration or dilution of said knowledge Then the knowledge is either extremely dangerous or extremely fragile or both. The interesting thing that it is still in a weaker blocking mechanism and not like an aggressive hold on your spirit that makes you choke as you try to utter it's secrets. Not to mention you having the urge to explain it even further. I am not sure. Maybe it wants the proper energy formation to manifest first before it is allowed to "come through" into a place where corruption is not a possibility anymore. >This feels like an early hint at a mentality or creation where the sin will degenerate itself before the mind can even think about performing it, which renders the sin obsolete. Sins are already "degenerated forms" of proper energies. The trick is to cure and shape them into the proper intent but sometimes you have to wallow in that sin to figure out what is the proper intent or you become a dogmatic retard/"Prude" that misses the whole point. But yes on higher planes of existence I don't even have the urge to have any "sinful desires" at all. While on lower and more aggressive planes I can feel the urge to kill materializing within me and reminds me to always pay attention to my surroundings and keep my hand on the "hilt". >wonder what it would be like to not be even able to do or think about karmic things Quite nice. I was that way as a child until having the realization that it makes me "weak" and "naive" and I will be just bullied if I keep that up. Not being able to understand the evil nature that plagues the earth is also a form of ignorance but that doesn't mean we need to be overtaken by those forces. Healers know the diseases more than the diseased person himself while not being diseased at all. Healers always have more ways to kill people than the killers themselves but if they do that then they are not healers anymore... It can be an oath and a principle but to save someone you have to make so deep and precise incisions that not even a murderer would do in some cases. >Want to know something? Well let's learn about the opposite polarity of the truth then shall we? So annoying. This idea that knowledge and power is measured by the amount of people you can kill/control with it... WHY ARE WE THAT WAY?!?! so hard to get past it... Whenever I think I went past it I realize a greater power and realize that I am far from peace because i can hear the retarded ideas of my "Old mind" thinking about the possibilities to misuse it and by reflex I go into a lethargy or start torturing the parts of me that is trying to grant me the idea to misuse it. Then I let go and a new equilibrium arises. >The god's must be crazy The queen kinda tried to explain this to me once. How gods appear as the pinnacle of madness until they reach their proper forms because only they know what they are doing and every outsider is either dreading or standing in awe. >>2053 >Makes me wonder what humans would turn into if they were allowed to also return to nature. Some of us would look like Greek gods while some people would look like Gollum or other wretches until natural selection decides who should continue their line. Every time I realize how to awaken a proper forms of my human body and realize this energy should have awakened "On it's own" and ask myself why didn't do it... the answer is always some retardation of the modern world and this artificial conformity we are living with. We are living in peace and we cannot imagine what peace and tranquility truly means in this busy and noisy madness we created for ourselves. Our senses are so misaligned it's ridiculous.

>>2057 >The god's must be crazy It's actually the title of a comedy movie about an african primitive in the jungle who sees an airplane, and someone drinks from a plastic bottle and then throws it out. The bottle falls down before him, he takes it home thinking it's from the gods. No one can understand how it was made, so it has to be divine. He sets out on a journey to find the god who dropped the bottle. Actually, no one cares and the quality is horrible, this is the whole thing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl86Wod6Y2E

>>2058 This is way worse than I recall it, the dub adding to the feeling of utter trash.

>>2059 Yeah I have seen it 2 decades ago and had to check because you said >plastic bottle while it was obviously glass and it was useful for the entire tribe and made them fight over it and made them realize that it needs to be returned and had to check to make sure this was not mandelad So the movie you posted is the 2nd one which is absolutely dogshit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ah7qQ_K-OnU This was the first one where it had only minimal narration but I cannot find the full movie. Knew it was dropped from a plane and in the 2nd movie it came from a different direction. Sadly the 2nd movie fell into the curse of "cashgrab sequel" where they don't even understand what made the first good at all. Oh and the movie was translated in my language so it means >The Gods fell on their heads which was a pun because if you fell on your head it means you are either stupid/crazy and the glass coke bottle fell on the head of the africans. This is why the gods must be crazy had no meaning to me until clicking on that link. The association was not in my head.

>>2060 Of course. I was wondering what happened there. I remember seeing it on tv late one night, was thinking now, were things so bad at the time that I thought this was ok?

Oh well, I'd love to tell the story of the new situation and its implications, but I am not allowed to. Let's just say this opened up a new layer of reality right there in the physical. And it's clear now that this was planned to be this way by our new gods. There was a thing I learned way back, which had also this effect when interacting with people, but that was more of a skill thing, although, simply what would be seen as a super normal ability if mentioned. To now realize that the super normal is just normal to many, that's the change. It kinda also puts a different layer of understanding to my past lives and what I did there, which was to some degree also of this nature.

>>2062 Maybe this is a thing with the "templars" also, maybe they have this silent community which they are unable to speak about? For regular secret societies one can imagine there is a risk of leaks, but if things work this way, that won't happen at all. When reading the bible earlier I saw something, manifested by how people reason. It seems they were at that time unable to act alone. They always try to get support for their actions no matter what, as if they are all very weak compared to the group. This may happen in many situations, but imagine a society where violence doesn't happen in interpersonal relations, but only if organized, because of the strong mental control between people. Then their way of using rhetoric and persuasive argumentations is the only way to act with force. We still see it with politicians wanting to use the army for something, but people in everyday life can decide on their own to get violent. Imagine if they were just unable to. That could be a thing. Then rituals and complex ways of acting would be needed to produce these acts. Maybe they would not be able to kill an animal or even cut a plant. So they'd have to find ritualistic methods to be able to do this. I think this may be how things developed in the past. Now we reached the age of Moloch, where everyone is their own King and as such anyone can make the decision to go to war.

>>2063 You call this the age of moloch; knowing as next-to-nothing as I do about astrology, I'm at first led to believe that this means that the NWO/globohomo, which I assume to be ran by the cult of moloch, is gonna win and enslave all of humanity, yet you said everyone will be their own king. Further, I remember being told we'd reached the age of Aquarius? I'd assume that moloch would be associated with Taurus. If you don't wanna cast any pearls before this here swine, though, then okay I guess.

>>2065 I know the common conception of Moloch tends to be strictly in the sense of a huge brass golem with a bull's head which eats babies. While this was one form of egregore, "moloch" is just a word meaning "king", also spelled melech or with other variations. Compare the horse-head demon lord Adremmelech or Adremalech or Adremoloch, there are different spellings, it's just saying he is a ruler. But the child eating king is known as Moloch so I used that spelling. I mean, that everyone is Moloch today, everyone is a king. Free abortion means anyone can kill their children freely, and that's to give everyone the right to murder by law, something only the king could do in a real monarchy, because only the king is above the law and has this ability. It's the mental state of having "your own free will", this is not normal, in older societies they had to obey their king to the point, the social mental system made it impossible. So the NWO means that everyone now is a king and they take orders from no one. Instead capitalism is used to decide who can tell someone to do something. Material assets have replaces the social authority of kings. So it is the age or Moloch, where everyone is Moloch and can do whatever the fuck the want within their economic means.

>>2066 wtf I love the NWO now

>>2067 If everyone is a king, it just means no one has any power. If everyone is rich, it means no one can force anyone to do anything by using money, and the money will be worthless. Sooner or later that will also happen once you start walking this path. Then society resets, and social standing come back as an asset, then it will again matter who is king.

>>2067 The catch was the >>2066 >within their economic means. I want to say many things about how this works and how they literally cursed themselves and almost everyone so they can only access lower energies of existence that is governed by "money" or "capital" and their mentality how "Ownership" works is absolutely flawed. The "let's make everyone king" was just a way so they can be considered kings and once that happens they will make sure everyone will be lower than themselves by any means. They make every "right" available for themselves and take it away from others by extremely dishonest ways. That method always fails longterm no matter what. They are cursing everyone and telling others taking up more and more curses for "economic benefits" is such a great deal™! >having "your own free will" More like FR€€ WILL™ Once they started to make money not represent any value or labor and started enslaving everyone with their "credit system" they started to strangle the very system they benefit the most from... absolutely ridiculous. >this is not normal People will misinterpret this. In older systems where the divine was still within the thoughts of humanity humans knew by instinct how to behave how to court how to learn and develop without needing a thousand smoke and mirrors technique so they can "cheat love and money" out of others. You didn't have constant thoughts to kill others or yourself. You knew the correct way of things or at least had inclinations towards the proper ways. There was a proper way how to do things that people could follow and wasn't this >omg I have to get money so I can enslave others before they enslave me mentality. The current false conformity we live in is enslaving us more than we can comprehend. Being the "King within your economic means" means just you have access to lawyers whores and murderers for hire so you can do "anything"... ofc spirituality has the bare requirement that you have to be above greed and once you can see the current energetic state of things you can buy with "money"... You will realize that only those things have value that very few people or beings give you for worthless currencies that lose value second by second. Money is as valuable as expired coupons for the spirit world. But money magic is a whole different thing altogether. Wealth and prosperity is completely different energy from the "money" we have nowadays. Money is more of a curse than a valuable asset to have. I really hate how it's an extremely harsh curse to get rid off because not having money makes you a criminal nowadays. They print your money they print your ID they print the papers that tells what you are allowed to do and own... then they went beyond that retardation and made it all digital. Funny thing... somehow the elites didn't plan for that. They think they will use it as an extremely sophisticated surveillance system so they can replace most of their agents with ease but let's say... the technology has limits that many cannot conceive yet. But all of them have their "Miracle tech" trump card that they think will make a difference but it's still just a mere material asset. Still nothing transcendental. Not a force that not just forms but maintains reality since creation. Gnostics constantly shit on the demiurge for creating this "flawed creation" prison planet. The (((elites))) somehow trying to make it worse. Even for themselves. Like how prisoners instantly start to form gangs in prisons and make their "Own laws" within the circle they operate with and abuse everyone who "breaks a rule" that they are not even allowed to write on the walls or get beaten by the prison guards. A system of abuse and retardation that leads no where. Once you realize that all of them think the same they become quite easy to handle. They are not even worthy to be called "mundanes" because they lost connection from the very earth that nourished them. Then they went and built their hidey holes and "prison societies" and think they "rule all" because they are in the prison and everyone who is not in the prison must be even lower than themselves. I want to rant about this issue further but I don't see the point. The world is going through changes and they will either expose their retardation or get buried in silence. The game was rigged from the start but it was never rigged in (((their))) favor. But try to explain this to them. Those who realized this are the ones that are counting the cracks on the wall for decades for a chance to finally be out of that system. But that is a game within the game for them. Better to not know how that game is played in most cases. >>2068 >Then society resets, and social standing come back as an asset, then it will again matter who is king. Also this. But what is a "true king" is quite complex. Who were the "first kings" the very gods that created civilization itself. That is something the modern people cannot conceive nowadays. They think the "Powers" these godkings had were just fairy tales to scare the masses into submission. The priest class the army all were just a force of oppression and nothing else. These people cannot fathom the idea that life and society is NOT all about oppressing yourself and others. They cannot understand what it means to be truly free at all.

Kings are those who channel the egregore of humans, to reach the peak of power within their own group. If the graph for this structure is made "equal" so that every one person is standing on their own small peak, then everyone is a king, but you can see they have no real effect.

>>2068 Wrong. Since some people are intrinsically more valuable than others, those who have superior traits and attributes will naturally have more power. Contrasting with the commie-slave system where everyone is property of the state and superior people only have the prestige benefit of being marginally more valuable slaves to their masters.

>>2071 >those who have superior traits and attributes will naturally have more power. Is this why everyone is now kvetching over incompetent bosses and political leaders, and how merits are replaced with "diversity hires"? If power matches skill, then these people are actually more skilled and anyone complaining is just a sore loser.

>>2072 This is just proof that individual sovereignty is not a true value of the NWO. If it was, you'd be able to own guns in Europe and question the holocaust. Molochianism is a system of arbitrary domination. This does not synergize at all with systems were individuals are granted sovereignty over themselves. Abortion is being normalized because western countries are being run by races and species that hate the native races and species and want them to go extinct. There's no deeper ideological meaning behind it. It's a straight and simple attack, its thesis is identical to the thesis of a bullet in flight.

I went on /int/ before and saw a thread op hinting at the meme "lick the minge" which is a german retard thing about going to prostitutes and getting throat infection. It was some webm about this activity performed outdoors in some humiliation context with a fat female standing up, nothing was really visible but I looked at it shortly and instantly felt sick. Physically. There are all kinds of things posted, including gore and other disgusting things, what I saw here wasn't even showing anything nude, yet it had a strong nauseating effect. I scrolled away, but the feeling remained. To clarify, because kc/int/ is so slow, it is customary to reload the front page rather than looking via the catalog, so that is where it appeared. There was a time once earlier when I had a shock experience like this with a female, details left aside, other than that it was very disgusting when it would, from society's common values, not be seen as such, but the opposite. That event burned away something negative from my mind and changed how my mental wiring works ever since, which also protected me from getting involved with these kinds of things, in retrospect this was how I at the time awakened to seeing how dirty society and women in particular are on an energetic plane. I know this event represented "half" of what I need to do to be safe, even if it was a full experience when it happened, and will protect me by avoiding these women. I've been, naturally, trying to trigger the event for the other half ever since, but found it to be deeply ingrained in society even more than that thing. The first one when externalized seems to now work effectively, exposing to everyone what the modern Jew is, through his genocidal actions of "self defense". I'm hoping this even here represents the slow beginning of being able to become immune to what I was lacking. >pics related in symbolic terms.

>>2083 >pic >banned for being le racist on 4chan >while guy who posts CP on 4chan is left free I don't know KC but it looks like the mods may be Jews

>>2084 That's a meme-ban because it's funny. It's commonly understood that Brazilians are monkeys so they can't really be racist. Moreover in the tradition of German nudism, they aren't as strict as other boards. Some artistic or nudist style photography is allowed for children also there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freik%C3%B6rperkultur

My symbolic reference here was to build my castle to protect against the dirty sluts, and to ban them from having access to me.

>>2046 >"How much your mind can handle" Not much at all in this day and age i am afraid so don't be your mind :p oh well my awareness point moved behind my back tf is that a mini-sun so i can observe myself going mad instead of actually losing it. It's subtle you actually do go crazy and suffer it's no escape but you observe it and let it pass through you but really it's no escape at all. >Now my current problem is that I am receiving complete conversations within a single glimpse in a way I was "part of it" Happens to me through my fragments but i can catch them in the flow and somewhat participate. You're prb not fully integrated is what i would say but.. you know i never realized how empty you are before. I was thinking about how you can just get away from this earth if you want but choose not to at the time but you also said your awakening is incomplete. but then i guess i tried to look? and you're empty aren't you? spooked me a bit. I am not calling you a husk btw rather the opposite, you're pretending to be like us mortals m? I know you implied it but i'm dense. But then it got me thinking how could someone reach these heights and manage to go back fully and the answer i got is <they put it in an egg ... sometimes i do wonder if i reached these height before and just decided to come back and got rekt n the process, or if it's all part of a plan i decided to make. but i don't really care of people who don't pick my interest i don't want to save everyone the only thing i would like is for everyone to have a fighting chance that's it and maybe it's why so many entities offer their help to me. > then I had to restart the whole process from mundane deduction and other down to earth problem solving perspectives because I couldn't keep up with my "genius" I was good at math as a kid but it still took time to do equations and stuff. I remember this one teacher who managed to push me so hard i would just blurt out the correct answers before i even acknowledged reading the problem. it's funny being given the solution but being stubborn <nah i'll fix it myself with this rusty screwdriver cuz it makes it worthwhile or meaningful or something. Even now i do it in magic instead of just letting the truth come, i wanna find it using deduction and establish magic theories and stuff lmao retarded. >Yeah many occultists have hard time understanding what is their authority/presence and why are they being constantly attacked/mistreated yeah.. <WHO ARE YOU? LET'S FUCK TO KNOW EACH OTHER!!! why am i broadcasting this D: well at least it's not all unpleasant. is that my true nature as that merger thing i am becoming? sounds perverted but eh human moral. >And someone worthy of respect and awe. Hard to explain in a way the ego doesn't misinterpret it and makes it into an arrogant retardation. I found a short cut really, i am gonna die! Like really die like bro die for real like like rotting and stuff. And then i'm gonna observe myself die just to make sure i'm really dead and not faking it. Nothing will be left for there can only be no thing. > Sometimes an author writes it while channeling some forces or some entity likes the writings of the author so much it "claims it" and after that it's important to know where "it comes from" especially once it starts to form circles cults and traditions Why though you wanna save them? I like castaneda there is some good stuff in there but his followers lost their way a little not all the way but some of them are weird. I mean i could say that of anyone really. > Once money and status becomes a thing in spirituality you cannot expect anything good longterm. Sadly I cannot say what is the right way either but you have to move forward no matter what. Kali yuga eh. I am glad we have the internet. I do have some ego driven goals i am not like there yet, one of them is that once i can shapeshift i'll make a book and release it freely so that anyone can do it too if they really want to. and the issue with authors is they make assumptions. They tell you <ok do mindfulness and stay silent i can do 1h :)

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but the student has no fucking idea what it means to be silent. >Do i trick myself to stay silent? >listen to some drums or something? >Do i just observe and let my thought do their thing? >this fill peaceful so must be that! or is it the silence of death with full awareness mind you cuz there are cuts in it normally that melts your face in the mirror and makes reality shit the bed? and i mean IRL not your mind eye like your face fucking melt off IRL reality start to become lines of stuff and you freak the fuck out. but the author make it sound like it's easy and maybe he's doing it "wrong" too and only doing surface preview level stuff, it works yeah but your subconscious is still unreachable , the veil still as thick as ever. true silence isn't < this is suffering but i'll keep going it's more akin to <OH FUCK I'M DYING but just cuz you thought that now you have to start over lel but that's also a self defeating thought and really good job on even trying to do 1 second but also scartch that you are dead forget everything. and yeah you can AP lucid dream magic etc without being silent you're just not aware of that part that is still talking. funny how it works. > I will build my gaymin paysee my occult hoard library and become a cyber hermit that will collect everything and study it as long as it takes Lol yeah i wanted to make a sever for that too. >They had to go through an "editor" and back then the "scientific mindset" was the "accepted way of writing I guess they just work as appetizers then, and maybe fix self defeating beliefs and try to repair you a little so that you can do it for real. >Once you are not just a "dabbler" but the embodiment of the true way all the limitations and the "rules" will take an absolutely different meaning and you will understand why some steps are necessary and which ones are skippable. I know some of them are 90% protection 10% the actual spell to avoid doing acts of "black magick" but eh.. I'll find my own expressions eventually, i just like barebone magic, there is beauty in simplicity. >Some stuff can be so weird once you can breach the veil with less effort than opening your eyes in the morning. About that the third eye uh spiders? it looks like the eyes some spider have, small narrow things in the forehead. still trying to use them right :/. >. Always annoying to talk about those "rules" because you have to make sure the person you are talking with is on your wavelength otherwise it's like explaining what is a TV to a caveman. Can you even talk about it using words? i have seen glimpse of it but i can't even formulate yet :/ >.Was not sure if they should be contained or they should play out and reach a "natural equilibrium" I was observing, i knew if i acted it could have messed up the flow so i just let it calm down lol. >I don't want it to become too forced. That limits expression. Agreed, this one of the few places you can express yourself and figure out to be yourself instead of that repressed "modern human" so let's keep it like that. >Watch out with that. Thanks will do i'll prb know when i'm ready if i actually listen lol why don't i listen! >Once your energies truly awaken it is like attacking a firestorm a tsunami a whirlwind etc yes. their is nothing to attack. their is no target. >Everyone has their range. Even your mind and body. i don't really get attacked rn if i did i'd prb idk rewrite their mind. good experience for that. >. There is a stage where clarity and truth is paramount and every confusion and fear can be dissipated and this warlike mentality becomes more of a burden yeah. see how subtle it is? being ready for attacks is making the attack possible in the first place cuz you're conceiving it and create a body for it basically. being a mindless retard you still get attacked cuz their is a whole bunch of you that isn't even connected that DO BELIEVE IN IT. now if there is no more "you" there is nothing to attack anymore attack what? it's like trying to shoot the void. >After that you might see the true purpose of the ego. well i am gonna get there! t.ego i know it's pretty useful right! If i didn't feel like shit for being inadequate i'd never move to be better. > My spirit was not willing to "stay contained" within the body and had to give it a "reminder". so you're the rescue team ? :p >because you just want to either get out of the water by reflex or some "deep calling" wants to make you drown or dive even deeper and you will need to know if you are ready for that or not. It's fucking fun btw if you don't let your inner paranoid schizo panic and ruin the whole process. See you explain it better than me. I wish people like you said that in books instead of just letting the reader decipher it. or maybe cuz they don't want the veil of isis hiding their book too much or else there is too little sales! >Sounds spooky It is! It's easy thought i am just y'know have to become it the observer like you said. I'll prb share it when i do it for real for now i'll just give a hint and stay vague enough so nobody who isn't ready do this. remember that black whirlwind spell that is used in rpg maker games for dark spells and transformations? it look like the milky way but dark-purple with nothing in it. you have that vortex in the womb too could be two in how the womb is both cradle and tomb idk do that to your mind. but you need a "signature" or "medicine" is how they say for animals? it's actually easy to get idk why they make it all complicated. don't have to steal it, posses someone or even get a wolf pelt that's just "tools." make sure you have a way to come back or you're ok with the changes, cuz whatever you make and become..well it's you now for better or for worse. once i can do it i'll experiment with altering age as well. anyway you can't do that without becoming the observer like you put it. >You realize that the entire reality is made from electricity and magnetism right? Like electrons and gravity? oh right i forgot this stuff. I kinda meant as in electricity and magnetism is the same thing at a higher level, >Sounds like how people like to spend time with their "partner" tbh. yeah...i am not sure if i have to calm that or if it's my true expression. >A weird choice. yes choices.. well who knows my current life might just come crashing again and i won't even need to bother. you expected hindi ? :p it used to be the same thing over and over now i am not allowed rest or stability. >European Portuguese and not the BRAZIL NUMERO UNO right? lol creole actually, it's not for entertainment just to communicate with people i have to interact with. but the thing might not work anyway and it'll come crashing down so who knows, i am not allowed to settle even if i became rich and stayed in my house something would happen to force me back out. >That's cool. Feel free to share them once the knowledge is stable and deep enough so you can express it. I'm planning to, i'll have to make sure it's even safe as well. >When I was going a little mad and was staring into the mirror I had seen my hair turn while and grow old within an instant my face is becoming weird in the mirror an eye look much higer than the other and then my face melts and i look decapitated :/ >An interesting perspective. bro it's crazy how we brainwashed ourselves to somehow be ok with death even though no one knows what happens for sure. like you're gonna die ! do something about it! prepare for it don't brainwash yourself into thinking "not me nuh uh!". some of the old people houses i visited are straight from 70s. >Yes the energies are not always pleasant. Especially with angels. They usually have a backlash once they are "done". i'm uh kinda addicted to that overload feeling

>>2046 >>2089 >Which ones? A sword that you use on the right hand which contrast with the drow dagger. a shield and an aura or energy flavor that can be used for anything, it just means i can make my structures be it weapons or whatever with this angel stuff now. >From my view she did something that can be called "nefarious" i think she said "i'll break you apart" and "fuse you back" in a way it sounded blended together was weird i just swallowed the thing she gave me and it became a giant root thing in my body that created some kind of devorer "flower of doom" i've been having strange dreams now too. also having reflux of bad rotten shit. pure black stuff oozing out of my eyes and orifices, vomiting old intestines pieces. maggots.. i cann feel them eating my eyes! i'll greentext what happened was floating in my room outside my body with the lights on. >oh cool i'am ap finally! >i always wondered what's behind the mirrors in the astral! >touch the mirror and my hand go through as if ti was goo >feels spooky >lose consciousness :/ another one yesterday >i am in front of my mirror >there is a big spooky hole near my right eye >it's just next to my nose >oh fuck >i grab my nose >it peels like paper without any pain >my whole skin feels almost fake >it looks like a vulva? >put my fingers in the first hole >it's empty >there is nothing no organs nothing I wake up sweating. realized the flower thing ate "half of me" and that my upper body is empty. Another one last night >i am in the maid body when Serial possessed her >watching myself floating in front of my mirror >am smiling >i have 3 large naked breasts >wtf i didn't want to be an angel! >am i hermaphrodite or something like them? >go to my room mad >go back to mirror realize i can make the change appear by smiling >smile in front of the mirror and now i have elves ears >basically look like the "goddess of creation" in the freiren manga >pic related also i think Shugara touched my hair the other day. I guess that's on me for calling every female entity that give me attention mom. I am trying to reach the state where i can look at her directly physically and all without "losing it".

Although I learned how to meme really fast using image macros when at catchan, and felt like that was the top of the pyramid at the time, I am still unable to perform these kinds of extremely minimalistic OPs as shown here. Partly it is a board culture thing, and sometimes it's about a context, where thread number 2 on a topic may not need a new OP text. But this here is at a different level, where everyone reading it will know the topic per default, as it is being channelling from a collective hivemind which filters the news feed and focuses everyone on the same set of details. Being able to do a >thread thread, is some kind of mastery.

>>2092 How do you even have enough time to be on all these places at once? Do I need a better time management skill and an extreme level of obsessive passion to reach this level?

>>2094 Easier than it looks, I only focus on one board at the time, then randomly skim the others now and then. This is all about following the energy stream of the social media pyramid, finding the top position at each time. It will move around, and it will be the most energetic place which decides the topics and flow further down at any time. At the beginning I did now know where the top was. For a while it was daijoubu/bun/, but that board was impenetrable because the userbase was so tight-knit. They ran a version of meguca, which means they saw how many users are connected from just lurking, so they'd just ban you for no reason to keep new people out. But that was for a long time of a few years the "buffer" at the very top. Later it moved and I wasn't able to see where to. I kept hearing words eco in my mind, not knowing where they came from, but feeling it was a place I had not seen yet. It was specifically something I did not understand about "onions". I then on a whim went on Endchan and looked in the board list where I found the bunker for kc/int/ and that's how I went there. That was like a plateau where some of the "top energy" would land, and that's where the strange expression "lors onions?" was used, a memetic phrase of intentional retarded misspelling for "your opinions?" to be associated with an attached news image and used for a thread OP. While there, various events in the imageboard sphere took place, and 8ch refugees came in, which lead to the creation of a thread which I assume I can't mention here, because it is probably also a filtered word. But from the implied talk, I guessed URL of the site, by simply adding "chan" and some different suffixes until I "hit" the site, which was the new catchan (it is no longer around). The site was up for a few months then went down, then at some point there were some implied ads for its return so I went looking again. That's where it was for one year, where the meme culture could be refined, after which it closed again. I now don't really focus on any board, the skill is internalized. And yes the cat is holding a pot >>2092 because it is a honeypot run literally by a Russian government employee.

https://doushio.com/moe/ There's also this one, it used to have the most toxic userbase possible, may still be so, one other ancient relic running for 10+ years with no update. It's just in some pocket on the side, not sure of its role.

>>2095 > I kept hearing words eco in my mind, not knowing where they came from, but feeling it was a place I had not seen yet. It was specifically something I did not understand about "onions" Here example of said postings.

>>2083 >I went on /int/ before and saw a thread op hinting at the meme "lick the minge" which is a german retard thing about going to prostitutes and getting throat infection Even better example, here are all three elements in the same OP. Bernd is the name of anon in Germany.

OK so the problem is we die at each breaths..fuck I'll have to rethink my approach.

>>2106 For me the hard part was to accept that I die between every thought... while my mind was racing like a thousand racecar on a collision course. That was when I was unable to sleep for a week until realizing how the body and the subconscious works so I can "reboot" it. Don't focus on the "death" part try to understand what it means to reborn what is impermanence and what are the things that remain eternal and those that "die" where do they go next and how do they reborn. Will answer to the other posts of yours later but I have too many thoughts from several directions at once while you too are on an extremely shaky but workable launch pad and I don't want to increase your confusion with mine. Just healed some of my childhood diseases that made my meridians contract since my childhood in the last days and I have to get accustomed to my new energy flows.

>>2107 >For me the hard part was to accept that I die between every thought I don't notice it here I have too many things going on with my parts It's more of a gap of awarness between breaths so imperceptible you don't notice it but that's death. >what is impermanence and what are the things that remain eternal and those that "die" where do they go next and how do they reborn. Oh well as far as I can tell reality stop existing at that moment. >Will answer to the other posts of yours later Don't worry about it take your time fren The thing is I am prb following a directive a "plan" but I am not sure how much I can trust it especially when it's going against every caution. I still have that stone/gem under my neck it's changing again..the first thing to appear when I die but it get destroyed too. Rhythm a heartbeat? Is that why you die if someone hit you slightly between heart beats.. I'll take my time with this it's time to have some fun too :p >Just healed some of my childhood diseases that made my meridians contract since my childhood in the last days and I have to get accustomed to my new energy flows. I am glad you're having fun too :D

>>2108 >more of a gap of awarness between breaths so imperceptible you don't notice it but that's death. Yes. That is the "Moment between moments" the moment of "switch" and change. The moment of nothing and unmanifested possibilities. For me the "switch" was for my mind because I figured out the ways how I can overwrite the switches of the body. But who overwrites the overwriter? It's funny when I clean a nasty energy block things crack and my body does a sudden move so the energies can connect and flow. Like a ragdoll that just got a strong stimuli to "do something". No thought no intention only the energy acting itself out. For me this "death" was important to understand how "thoughts flow in my mind" how I am not in a "single thought channel" but I can switch the channels in my mind and change the broadcasts and thought currents at will. In the end the goal is to unify the mind and not like looking at several TV screens at once while listening to 2 radio channels while people are talking in the distance and "pretending to hear only one". All the thoughts flow in the mind but our subconscious filters it so we remain sane Yes we are still sane on the current level we are on no matter how crazy it might appear for outsiders. Funny isn't it? We are still merely breaching the veil but still unable to completely remove it...yet. >Oh well as far as I can tell reality stop existing at that moment. Yes that is the moment of "switch" the moment of creation the moment of choice etc. There is that understanding that "every breath you take describes/makes you". You can understand every moment you live in your life by merely observing your own or the breath of others. Breath is life. The time between the first and the last breath constitutes as life... never thought of it this deeply so far. The dead has no need to breathe... There is just a singular silence there. In yoga and meditation having almost 0 breath movement and one that is so intense your body is like a forge blower. Had to reach both levels but they were guided. Easy to do with the right mindset but otherwise it takes years to master it. I am still internalizing it. >Don't worry about it take your time fren Yeah I am doing that... Realized how I can take the energies out of the "desires" the body generates to "keep me happy" and figured out how I can drain the energies from negative emotions let the impulse that generated it "crumble" and then make the energies take a new form within. While it's a great accomplishment in emotional alchemy... I realized I don't have a proper grasp on the emotional polarities to make sure that I am in a perfect stillness. Realized my flesh contains way too much hate and other negative energies and only my mind managed to reach a clarity but it's still momentary. My internal driving forces need to retain their truth and forget the past decades of mundane retardation that I had to go through to be able to live as a (((modern human))) >The thing is I am prb following a directive a "plan" Yes you do. This is why you awaken this fast. Want to comment on it further but I sensed a dark current while looking at you and... it's not "bad" but more like potent and it's hard to comment on it with my current mental clarity. >but I am not sure how much I can trust it especially when it's going against every caution. None of them and all of it at once. You will have to develop your senses and your intuition for this. It's like learning to walk. You will fall a lot then learn to get up. You will learn to trust the ground to be there and learn how to not fall from slopes and higher places once your balance becomes not just a "learned" but more like a realized or internalized principle. Just realized some days ago that how much the constant OBLIGATION to wear shoes fucked up the natural flow and development of the muscles in the foot. The foot has pressure points and can work as mudras the same way as the hand that correlate with every organ in the body. It also needs to be developed. Like how to walk on sharp ground or on fire without being cut or burned. There is a way for that and it's all about the mindset and the energies. Flying is just a step above from that truth. What I wanted to say that you are going through a wild ride and you will have to realize what parts of the "process" comes from your real awakening and which are shitty ego bound retardations and trickster spirits having fun with you. Truth is being exploited and fucked by trickster spirits have a "smell" and it's easy to figure out once you notice the pattern... Everyone cautions from that but that is the easy part. The hard part is that true awakening will be more of a "torment" than anything those fuckers can do with you... but... you will notice your own "Light" your own truth the guiding principle of your being and once you have that nothing can truly harm you anymore. Stuff breaks around you so much when that happens it's funny. Makes you realize this "prison matrix" this illusion is just too fucking fragile and those that consider it some great trap of souls are trapped on such a low vibrational level that it's ridiculous. But we have to truly awaken before being able to help them because while we can jump and run between realities they didn't even learn to walk in this one properly. And while we got used to falling down then rising up already... for them a single misstep might feel like the end of the world... We cannot expect everyone to be able to keep up with us. I had so many dreams walking between worlds with people and all of them always died around me. Didn't even realize why did they follow me but when they died I found new people that were more "on my level". Was always wondering if this is merely symbolic or a pattern I go through as I "wander". Good thing we are aiming to be sages. We can sit on our assess and see the whole world and physical travel is more of a "choice" instead a requirement. I will definitely wander but I want to develop my senses further. Currently I am in this "the world is too rotten" "there is nothing really to see that is not found within already" melancholy. Wonder when I get past it. The fact that covid killed maid cafes and japan is getting full with niggers thx to globohomo infuriated me a little and took away my desire to travel anywhere at all but these are still my "Mundane reasons for travel" and not the higher ones. Travel managed to become either a necessity for work or as a money wasting hedonism/tourist scam/trap. Infuriating tbh. I don't know how I will reconcile that... in a peaceful way ofc so I don't become the literal Iron Pill comic character where he wanders the world and sets minorities on fire with his VÖLKISH AVRA by yelling EVROPA and carving runes into random places. Who would want that... h-haha. >Rhythm a heartbeat? I remember when I had to go through that lesson. Was scary as hell. That was when I had to meet the Dark God of Death. I think I will need to continue that lesson sometimes. That darkness has a "velvety" feeling now. I will have to figure out a new way to motivate myself into these things. I don't have that "mad lust for the occult" anymore because it's ever present as of now. I will have to figure out what to do with my mundane lethargy first. Hard to get that shit out of my system when it was part of my life for more than 2 decades... I had to understand that "misery" is not my "foundation" because I carried such a potent misery within myself that I didn't even notice that I am miserable... mostly because most people I know are also miserable as hell. And without misery I fall into rage. An improvement but still not a good guiding principle. So hard to realize the proper energy flows of these emotions because "happiness" is just a "stop gap measure" and not the main purpose of my being nor my awakening. Happiness will be a mere side effect and not the point nor my goal towards awakening. Those "feel good" cults and meditations always disgusted me. They just become societal parasites while being "High on the energies" until it runs out then all that remains is despair and a desire to reclaim the "good moments of the past" instead of figuring out a way to move forward. Those cults always collapse within a decade for a reason. >Is that why you die if someone hit you slightly between heart beats.. Oh right. That is a thing. I forgot about that. >I'll take my time with this it's time to have some fun too :p Same. I am trying to take out the "tryhard" mentality from life and spirituality to understand the carefree flowstate. Ofc it's not about being a careless procrastinator but figuring out the right energies for every action and not forcing things into the wrong direction. >I am glad you're having fun too :D Yeah. Hard to say I don't have fun with this :D While my mind is swarmed with a myriad of negative emotions if I compare the current timeframe of my life with the previous "less awakened" parts of my life I can definitely say i have fun compared to those times. I am slowly accepting that i have fun by living and not treating life as an "obligation" or more like a "point that I try to prove by not giving up". Wanted to explain the mysteries of the mind and how ego; old and new egos appear and operate as we awaken but... I don't feel apt enough for that now. Maybe later. You are going through similar things as me or other awakening people but some of your angles are different. Just found out now that the element of "murder" that I have and the one you have is completely different? You understand fear and suffering completely differently. It's less "psychotic" compared to mine but it might appear otherwise first? Maybe psychotic is not the best word to describe it. Maybe murder is not even a good word to describe the energies. Yeah I am really not in the zone to talk about these things now. Maybe we will talk about it further when I feel more "spiritual effortposty" instead of merely venting about things. Oh and pic. Wish I was like Miko. Being able to look at the horrors and not instant attacking them and being able to act like you didn't even see them and not consider their mere presence as an "attack". I can very rarely do that. I am like "between my minds" in those visions/dreams. You might call that state "egoless" but I know I am "me" in those moments just my mundane retardation is not there to "interrupt it". Maybe because there are no "actual threats" there. If there is a threat I pull in my armaments into every dream by reflex in some cases without even becoming lucid enough until we are in the midst of a battle. Once your astral plane that corresponds with your physical place is clear and balanced with strong enough principles that it becomes accepted as Yours very few entity dares to trespass. Especially if you constantly summon angels and other murderous weirdos like it's nothing lol. No need to put up "DANGER A WIZARD LIVES HERE" signs when the whole place is like an astral whirlwind on fire. Tho mine is like a golden thunderstorm now with occasional lightning strikes now and wild plants overtaking the "casualties" >>1856 Can't believe I couldn't do this because a "Lightning shield" I created a decade ago to protect the place I live from thunderstorms and lightning which became so potent I need time to take it apart "gently" otherwise the pressure of that would create physical anomalies left and right.

>>2121 >No thought no intention only the energy acting itself out Ha i know what you mean, i am slowly fixing my back and realizing how much pent up frustration and pain i have there. how i would tense up at the mere sight of my parents <Need to behave sit right, don't show weakness! which became a thing i did around everybody ofc! >No thought no intention only the energy acting itself out Was playing with that yellow lightning making it run through all my body at once to see how much power i can wield, maybe we could do it like killua and just have the body follow orders could be useful for fighting sports y'know. I used to do that as a teen with my tulpa but a full auto mode for menial stuff but more efficient would allow to fuck off for a bit without anyone noticing.. well not like they notice now my karma i suppose. i am not even sure it's the same people.. > In the end the goal is to unify the mind and not like looking at several TV screens at once while listening to 2 radio channels while people are talking in the distance and "pretending to hear only one" Agreed! You ever watched ben 10 Alien Force or Ultimate Alien? when he transforms into Alien X a literal god and then stop moving because he is stuck in debate with parts of himself. You have the power of god but you can't convince yourself to do anything with it and have to deal with thousands years of backlog. >Easy to do with the right mindset but otherwise it takes years to master it. I am still internalizing it. yeah i can see that. i get tired you know, struggling like that i now realize i was foolish to think i could do that without being "full". shadow integration.. So unsavory all that darkness and yet it is only me. The worst part of it all, can't even escape it with being edgy ha! It's funny vomiting at the sight of yourself. i have to fully accept myself rot and all, is that why the worms call me mommy? can't run from any of that, the man and the woman the savory and the unsavory. All born out of me lol. >I realized I don't have a proper grasp on the emotional polarities to make sure that I am in a perfect stillness yeah you're transforming it but it's more like facing it fullly, naked in the blizzard accepting,understanding it and then transforming it. Don't reject it is what i want to say, the pain the ugliness the rot the horrors don't run away from it. I believe that's how we may finally reach that silence. >Realized my flesh contains way too much hate and other negative energies and only my mind managed to reach a clarity but it's still momentary Be careful you might end up like Madoka, y'know split... >My internal driving forces need to retain their truth and forget the past decades of mundane retardation that I had to go through to be able to live as a (((modern human))) <You walk with them but you are not one of them kinda thing. Let the divine show through us, see the issue is we repress it to impress others, to be normal to be "proper", we shame ourselves into obedience and then make a "me" that they accept. When really they're not that complicated creatures, when you act with the divine they don't even dare to look at you anymore they see you as a leader it's funny you are in balance. >This is why you awaken this fast Is it fast? I am disappointed at my power level considering i've been into magic for a while now. Oh well it seems my locks are more like seals and it's ironic, maybe it's not my first time awakening but i had to come back. I hope it's not for something lame like creating a compatible race here so that we can come back and guide humanity lmao plz tell me it's not thiis D: >it's not "bad" but more like potent and it's hard to comment on it with my current mental clarity. Yeah idk what's going on with me. Dark vines everywhere and my own magic trying to kill me.. you know it has always been like that, i would try some basic thoughtform exercise and it would try to off me. Maybe i was trying to liberate myself all this time.. we always talk about how you have to remain in control in magic and yeah absolutely..but you know maybe my intuition was correct and that's how i break and integrate stuff. Maybe this stuff was built in me when i reincarnated here.. I am that kind of person after all, brainwashing myself putting fail safes here and there. >Like how to walk on sharp ground or on fire without being cut or burned. There is a way for that and it's all about the mindset and the energies.

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we truly are fucked up lol. The balance i mean we are walking contradictions of tangles mess and then we build cities like a twisted corrupted cancer of the natural world, which in turn changes us even more.. A simple thing taking a bath, you're supposed to lightly scrub your skin with warm water and soap, you can get the natural luffa a gourd for that.. what do they do? they make plastic "loofah" and "shower gels" which give you the sensation of being clean and hydrated. but leave the gunk and clog your pores, you don't notice because the fragrance is hiding it and the film left on your skin give you a silky feeling. It's just how this society is, using make up to cover the shit, i am sure the attractiveness of people is also a left over of better times and eventually if we continue on this road it will be ugly man-beast wearing clown makeup to appear civilized. >and trickster spirits having fun with you yeah what's wrong with them lol one of them appeared with an offer and an other spirit told me <they're here to pick the fruit before it ripens I guess they're not happy about me learning to swim! >while we can jump and run between realities they didn't even learn to walk in this one properly. Can we? I am just getting carried to the best frequency rn is all. I still can't get my fun in some other place for a time but that's just cuz i am not allowing myself to do so yet. fully integrate all that :/ >and all of them always died around me. :'( I know..it's hard to accept I'll carry the one i care about maybe snatch the few worthwhile and give them a spin but that's it.. >Currently I am in this "the world is too rotten" "there is nothing really to see that is not found within already" melancholy. Well there is the rot to see! uh wonder how they all got there what's wrong with them?? might teach us a thing or two. >The fact that covid killed maid cafes and japan is getting full with niggers thx to globohomo infuriated me a little That's terrible news wasn't even aware of it :/ > I will have to figure out a new way to motivate myself into these things. I don't have that "mad lust for the occult" anymore because it's ever present as of now. Have you tried a more feminine approach? Instead way to fight ways to handle ways to motivated yourself you just take it accept it and understand it? you hug it bare and accept it...like a mother hugging her child covered in her own gore. hard but you have to accept your female part just how you embody your male part but also have to accept their shadow too and...complicated but basically stop being a meanie and bee yourself. >You are going through similar things as me or other awakening people but some of your angles are different. Yeah i am my own thing i guess, sometimes i forget other people have a different way to understand things and my ways aren't really applicable. >Maybe psychotic is not the best word to describe it. Maybe murder is not even a good word to describe the energies. I am Homura at the end of rebellion :D well more kind of a devorer who assimilate things and add them to their being to slowly understand everything. and let's not get started on how this mixed with sex. Getting weird info rn An affinity to something mean how much can you take it? the most neutral one, someone who can take on everything..wat being family means "eating from the mother" the mother is the source of the signature of the family which is then augmented by the group, those who eat from the other are family?? idk if i am talking about humans or drows anymore are humans matriarchal originally ? and how we all exchange energy to establish family but somehow mine is different and instead i eat and assimilate to transform thus creating my own bloodline? ugh. Great i got a new energy inside of me, witch..green . That's on me for being so mean, saw some witches the other day i just had to taunt them for the lulz. I just screamed really hard and made myself look scary to play! I am surrounded by dead dolls and the streets are empty can i be blamed for wanting to play with the few interesting people i see? i should go back to that store with the giant women they seemed cool wonder what race they are. Is this the final form of wizard jail? you get separated from everyone and it's just you and a bunch of ghouls, the one who are so degenerated killing them is mercy and few other magic users who may get in your way cuz your karma stink. anyway the witch signature.. am not sure i like it but, i'll accept everything to reach this understanding no matter how long it takes to be processed. kinda weird i thought i'd be more compatible with that one but it seems quite foreign, shugara is so much more familiar. This is more foreign than Sariel's stuff, seriously i am surprised. Maybe my "interest" is seen as an attack, it's now a mix of sex and wanting to touch innards, a need to nurture play and understand. Anyway this post is already too messed up and my head hurts but instead of magically killing the pain I'm gonna nurture that child! but yeah we can't stop here, some people are born with powers and still manage to ruin their potential never advancing and holding on being a medium witch whatever you want to call it. we want to be so much more we can't stop at surface level stuff and mind eye visions. And about the angels and the gods the part they show us is superficial at mask to interact with human in their human ways and humans customs. So let's play some more :D

ohhh so humans back then didn't stink! their body was in balance they barely even needed to wipe their body. just saw a shower gel bottle "make the skin feels healthy" "feels" healthy lmao. And then put deodorant under your armpits or else you stink but why do you stink in the first place? mm why does no one consider that "Bacteria" uh ? but why is this bacteria here in the first place why not another? luck? genes? nah it's cuz you"re a wreck! even needing to eat is anomaly. A dying body sustaining itself for as long as possible. We're ghouls! so that's what you meant by "becoming your ancestor" we truly inherited their sins by being born here. Their karma is ours to resolve! Generations of unbalance, it's a wonder we're even alive! This is hilarious! even the oil on our head we strip with shampoo, it's supposed to be self cleaning maintaining all that. but we hide how degenerate we became by stripping it away! and adding a layer of petroleum fat to make it feels "healthy" ROFL Anyway i can't just stop eating and washing yet still need to reach a deeper understanding but omfg it's funny how bad it got and yeah the maintenance of one's body is supposed to be much simpler originally. In regard to shapeshifting there seem to be a "way of the heart" and a "way of the mind" i wonder why you focused on the brain when making bodies fren maybe i can't see it yet.. but the heart is a "core" that also contain everything about you so it should be possible by just crushing and replacing the old one but it seems even riskier than messing with the mind.

>>2123 >how i would tense up at the mere sight of my parents For me that only happens when they bring out the "worst version of themselves" the part of themselves that just "takes over them" and hurled insults and abuse over me until I was an emotional wreck. When I feel that coming I become a storm of emotions because I am not 6 anymore and I have no need to let them use me as a punching bag for their problems. The funny thing is that they literally became the very thing they yelled at me to "not become" with their "lessons". They didn't even hate me they hated themselves and took it upon me because they thought I am a "repressed part of them" or something. Dad tried to break out of that cycle but failed while mom didn't even have the awareness to notice it on her own. She is not as bad as she was in the past but I don't have enough time to mend her emotional traumas she only managed to strengthen with her alcoholism. I barely see her once a month and I don't really have time and patience for her yet. <Need to behave sit right, don't show weakness! In school I was only able to run fast when someone angered me. I was never able to properly sprint in sport class but when someone angered me I could catch them when I let the anger overtake me. Months ago I figured out the energy current that let's me sprint like I was a gazelle. Wondered wtf how did this "Get lost" in my psyche. I ran like a child and didn't understand how tf it vanished. It was in my childhood when we were in a store with my dad and my brother then found something in the store and was happy about it and ran to my dad. My dad told me that I was a "Bad kid for running" and he told me with a face like I just murdered someone. Didn't understand what did I do that bad and that made me never truly run with my "whole body" again. I was terrified because when mom lost her marbles and started to yell at me for everything because she couldn't vent her problems on dad so she went and started to vent the closest thing that reminded me of his husband and thought dad will hate me too. Dad was the sensible one in the family so whenever mom lost her shit I had to make sure to wait till dad came home so mom will stop abusing me in the presence of dad. I realized at the end of elementary school that my emotions a wreck and my parents finally divorced and got into high school and wanted to "start over my persona" and purged most of my emotional instabilities. It was like burning a forest. Knew there were roots and seeds under the ashes but I knew I will be able to handle this on my own and going deeper would take time. Went into a tougher high school and I knew I have to "prove myself" and won't have enough time to feel sorry for myself. Sadly I cannot blame my parents for this whole thing either because their parents were also terrible. The only thing I can blame them for being weak to be unable to rise above. Dad tried his best but gave up halfway while mom didn't even had a notion of "trying" because all she did was blame everyone but herself for her failures. Her mind is so cracked and full with absolute cognitive dissonances but it only becomes obvious when she drinks. >just have the body follow orders I have that already. But my mind is not clear enough to do it reliably. It comes out in specific do or die situations. The goal is to reach the level of "Pure awareness" and the body just follows the "least resistance" or "best course of action" by default and all you do is provide it with the pure awareness. Don't think don't command simply just know. Dislike using that for anything competitive because it's fucking cheating using it against these ego shackled children and "winning" usually feeds your ego or status and might cause grievances for those that "tried their best and failed" while all you did just pressed the "I WIN" button in your mind. I really like in Isekai Ojisan when he explained the reason why he would never use his superhuman abilities in sports because he watched the kids practice baseball as hard as they can while he went home to play Sonic after school. And he knows the spirits care about the virtue of the humans who wield their power so he wouldn't want to offend them by being "unworthy" for them. >I used to do that as a teen with my tulpa I also automated work routines and was able to even play an instrument without "being there" but >full auto mode for menial stuff but more efficient would allow to fuck off for a bit without anyone noticing.. The problem is "development". Hard to explain but if you leave a tulpa or botsoul in your body and you completely leave it then experience eons or more the tulpa will become the "true owner of the body" and you won't be able to come back because you "changed so much"... ofc as a true master you can bypass this but let's get to the other problem first. You cannot truly "leave" without utilizing your whole soul forces that still slumber within your body. It would be like trying to escape from a swamp when half your body is stuck in the mud. You might say "why not cut off your leg lol" the answer is that with one leg you will be far slower and might bleed to death before even reaching the border of that swamp you try to escape from. >well not like they notice now my karma i suppose You mean you are invisible to them or how should I interpret your "karma" here? Whatever to "leave" while still retaining your body you will have to attain a sort of "stillness" where the body can properly use it's maintenance routines while your spirit is having fun somewhere else and stay undisturbed so you can synchronize your experiences with the higher and lower parts of your being. If you are around mundanes your confusion will just increase because they mostly care about their "lower energies" and you will have hard time balancing it out until you figure out a sort of transcendental energy flow where they are in a state of "this doesn't matter but that doesn't mean we cannot get along while we are here" or something similar. >i am not even sure it's the same people.. That is a tough one. As you change and evolve you will generate and circulate different energies. If one thing changes in the equation the result will change with it. If you change people around you will also change. To keep the "status quo" you have to remain the "person" that they always "knew" if you change they are also forced to change to some degree. I am noticing it many times and I realize I don't always understand how people "see me" at all. They won't stay the same forever but some of their parts change with the wind while some of their patterns are so ingrained within them that you need to be real through to grant them any "progress" in their life at all. I consider it a "test of wisdom" nowadays so it doesn't irritate me as much as it did in the past but... Fucking normalfags I swear. Getting along with schizos psychos and degenerates is sometimes more "simple" than getting along with people who consider themselves "normal". >when he transforms into Alien X Yeah seen like one ep and there was an old dude and a female arguing and he was the "third person" that was able to convince them. In that ep he said no matter how great the power was the whole thing was so annoying he said he will never use that again. I kinda stopped watching that show after that but yes I too think of that scene from time to time. >a literal god and then stop moving because he is stuck in debate with parts of himself. Well yes it was "Part of himself" but he also turned into the very cosmos itself. This is an important realization on the path. Finding the microcosm understanding it then letting it connect to the macrocosm itself. Then when that happens the "parts of you" are actually "parts of the cosmos". We know these as "archetypal forces" already but sometimes it gets weird. I realized that I can think with the "Negative part of my mind" the part that "blocks my magic/will" and understanding why I "shouldn't do it" allows me to find a way where my magic is not just "Permitted" but such a "0 resistance" that it constitutes like I "didn't even do it". But I only use that when I am really bothered by something because altering the reality for no reason has consequences and they are not always fun. It's not just about "breaking the law" and "Hurr be punished for your evil sorcery" kind of thing but you move energies and once you displace vital energies because not knowing what you are doing can result in weird shit until you return the proper flow of things. There is a reason why magicians either go mad or die by weird causes when they overextend themselves. I am trying to figure out the causes better because helping people to awaken so they end up in the psych ward or get claimed by weird entities defeats the whole purpose of the awakening I am trying to provide. Ofc for that I need to make sure that my own awakening is also pristine. There are many false awakenings in the process but they are necessary steps you have to breach through. Just because you broke an illusion it's not always guaranteed that the next one is the "real one" at all. >but you can't convince yourself to do anything with it Baby steps first. >and have to deal with thousands years of backlog. Karma is a bitch. Not just yours but the background/societal karma and the planetary karma we have around. Everything is connected to something and if you move something without knowing what you are doing you might entangle yourself into something you are not ready to handle. If you don't have a resolve to convince "yourself" then maybe it's better to leave it that way. I always had this mentality that after I "die" I will be judged by the Gods or by the whole world for all my deeds and had a principle to "live in a way where I can explain and prove the worth of my actions no matter what I do". I don't want my "excuse" to be for some actions that:"I was an unredeemable retard that had no will nor choice to do better". My guides had hard time explaining to me that I am too hard on myself and I have to learn to enjoy myself or I will be unable to let go of my restraints. I had this "having fun is for plebs" mentality because what constitutes as "fun" for normalfags always ends up as a blight upon my life when I partake in it longterm. >i was foolish to think i could do that without being "full". You can do it but you will need to make a pact with an "other force" that let's you do "whatever" while your other parts is shackled to their will for "safekeeping" but that always ends up in ruin. You will need to retrace your path and find your missing parts heal them and reintegrate them. >So unsavory all that darkness and yet it is only me. I realize I have mental currents that belonged to my parents. I had to "attain them" and master them to a "Higher level" so I can fight and argue the hell out of their stupidity because once I have a better version of the "will of the ancestors" it will be like they are arguing with not just "me" but "themselves" their "conscience" and their "Own ancestors". Ofc once you copy a mindset from others you will copy the unsavory parts until properly cleaning out and remake it from scratch. But once you can do that you can clear out the faults in the minds of others. Whenever I solved an emotional issue with my mother without talking to her somehow she always got in touch with me then improved a little on her own. And we think the internet made us connected. HAH. As if. >is that why the worms call me mommy? Complex but the short answer is yes more or less. Parts of your psyche is coming alive on their own or being overwritten but still unable to merge or find a proper connection with you. But this is a painful subject.

>>2123 >All born out of me lol. This is where egomastery is paramount. Where those parts truly (You) or some influences you internalized and lower impulses you act upon that steer your own truth into a wrong direction. I am still fine tuning my own truth. Hard to completely attain it.If I attain it I will rip apart reality but with my extreme amount of benevolence I will heal it in an instant. But I am still not ready for that. It's a weird "deal" with existence. Existence allows you to "shatter it" because you will heal it so well that existence will "Improve" once it happens. People who awaken to that level leave marks upon reality but it's always important to not increase the chaos but to harmonize them otherwise you will create your own downfall before noticing it. Never forget that dude on the cross. You might have the power of god but once you let go of the reins for something "more" you might not know where you will end up. Supposedly Jesus knew what he was doing but even as a child when I heard he lamented on the cross that "God abandoned him" made me question this whole thing. Ofc I know it's just a warning for mundanes that "No matter what never think God abandoned you" which is true but true mages true Messiahs shouldn't be "this lost" once their awakening is complete. Being lost signifies that your awakening is still incomplete. Especially once you think the everpresent and omnipotent God "abandoned you". But with jews you lose. That is the other lesson of the Bible we must not forget. Somehow everyone misses that part >Don't reject it is what i want to say Easy to say that! It became a habit. I literally strangled the energy flow of my negative emotions by instinct. A moment of weakness? Strangle the flow of that thought with one hand and use the other to kick yourself into action! It was like pressing the gas and the breaks at once. >don't run away from it. The problem is that I realized I can use a problem to cancel out an another problem! Shiva showed it to me. I was like a golden scale front of the gate of truth and I meticulously balanced my "problems" on the scale that the scale is in a "balance" but I didn't notice that the scale is almost breaking from the weight of those problems without noticing thus putting an extra amount of pressure upon myself and will be unable to fully merge with my truth that way. Slowly healed those "weights" and they started to become different colors and "flew away" but when that happened and the scale was not "necessary" anymore... I realized that the ground is breaking. That "scale" was just the mere "lid" on the bottle of pent up energies. I had access to my higher truth but realized I can only attain "glimpses" until I fix the whole thing altogether. True merger is unattainable until I find all the blocks within myself and "air them out". >Be careful you might end up like Madoka, y'know split... I am aware of my own mental cracks and how to find my pieces. Wonder how they will explain the process in the upcoming movie. Rebellion kinda showed how they "split" the girls into a universe they created for observation and all they ended up doing is to create an "another God" so we will need to see how the "Gods" reconcile.It will be an extremely heated yuri sex ofc >to impress others Gave up on that long ago. People are impressed by so trivial things in some cases that I realized I am unwilling to "emulate". >to be normal to be "proper", Very few people can make me act that way. All I am trying to not pass the threshold of "criminally insane" and how "amicable" I appear depends on my mood and how fast I want to get through with the inanity I am facing. Being alone with people around you is worse than actual solitude. Most people cannot comprehend this. >we shame ourselves into obedience Yeah this was a weird realization how I always slouch and keep my shoulders "Bent inward" to try to appear "smaller" for others so they don't consider me "threatening" without noticing. I am taller than most people so when someone is smaller than me I am trying to get closer to their eye level without noticing. I remember I was drunk once and had to walk straight to not lose my balance and noticed "how small everyone is". I had a roommate who was a head shorter than me and felt sorry for him. And thought it would be "nice" to help him become taller. So I grabbed him and lifted him into the air and said "Now you are tall!" then put him down and said "now you are short" and felt bad for him being short again so lifted him into the air again! Did this several times then I walked away. There was like 30 people around so that managed to become an another "story" of my drunk exploits.This is why I rarely drink. Alcohol and boredom is a wrong combination for me. When I get bored I feel an absolute desire to do something and it either becomes a legend or an outrage and I fucking hate when I have to say sowwy for having fun because people have this "how could you do such thing" and expect me to feel bad when I don't even remember 90% of the events. Fucking normalfags don't know how to party and expect you to enjoy their mild lingering and waggling around while making your drink cheap poison. But I was a disciple of Dionysus long ago in ancient Greece so my standards for a "real party" might be a little too high. My first channeling was when I was 19 was drunk under the starry night started to tell a "poem" according to others about how we are all connected in the world out of nowhere then broke someone's nose as I complimented my performance with the necessary moves. Knew I had an important realization there but it got overwritten with that drama that someone got a little hurt and had to go to the hospital. Turned out it was so minor nothing actually broke and he didn't even need snitches. Finally I had a reason to not interact with those people further. That night more issues came out from that "friendgroup" that I interacted with than I even bothered to acknowledge. Had an inclination that I should slowly get detached from them because I don't have enough time for my psychic pursuits with them around and that accident finally gave me the chance. Couldn't decide if it was some subconscious thing or some other force "guiding my hand" there but uncle said that vineyard always had violent fights in the past so maybe I was just "keeping up tradition". >when you act with the divine they don't even dare to look at you anymore Yeah but there are "darker divinities" out there that turns outeven the demons fear >Is it fast? Don't forget this shit usually takes lifetimes with some practices. >I am disappointed at my power level considering i've been into magic for a while now. Bruh I got glimpses of my "true potential" and when I looked at my current level I asked myself how tf am I "this bad" then the answers flew into my mind and it was the "Oh yeah that's why". It's a process that needs to play out then understand the rules and methods of your own truth. >Oh well it seems my locks are more like seals Similar. You can call them limiters or training wheels too. If you cannot master the mortal reality how do you expect to master other realities? Some challenges are necessary for growth. >maybe it's not my first time awakening That is probable but we don't truly understand what it means to "fully awaken". All we have for reference is some Occult book writers some mad psychics and that dude on the cross. The eastern traditions grant us better glimpses but they are too fragmented and misunderstood nowadays. >I hope it's not for something lame like creating a compatible race here so that we can come back and guide humanity I am not sure you understand what "guiding humanity" means. We are not gonna become a "new Jesus" or a nuNew Ager preachgroup. Not to mention humanity needs a cleanse first before they can be guided anywhere at all. >plz tell me it's not thiis D: Your idea is definitely misshapen and on your current level you will not do that. You know the saying. <The road of hell is paved with good intentions Messiah complex is not what we are looking for. Guiding humanity must be like an "effortless past time" and not like a gRaNd MiSsUn tHe sTaRsEeDs SeNt mE sO I cAn Be ThE nExT JeWsUsMoHaMeD. Those people I swear. So high on their own energies they can barely see anything else. Can't say I am truly beyond that tho. Getting rid of the "messiah complex" from my being was real hard. There are forces that try to tamper with your awakening so you become the next "Jesus" or a representative of their egregore by pulling you into their initiation. I am trying my best to figure out a way to not accidentally brainwash people with misconceptions as I try to grant them glimpses towards their own path. >Dark vines everywhere I remember when I started to grow "branches" like how Flandre has her wings. Realized they are the meridians and the "psychic limbs" trying to manifest. Still growing them. They reach many places. Did you know that the Flan's wings represent different dimensions and how she can split into 4 beings is because she is in multiple dimensions at once? It's funny how her "wings" never had a proper explanation. ZUN just channeled that yupp a vampire has a christmas tree for wings! That is how you merge with the tree of life btw. You attain different "dimensional branches of reality" and integrate them into yourself. One of the higher truth of "true vampirism". Touhou I swear. >Maybe i was trying to liberate myself all this time.. Your own magic was attacking "something else" that was "In your body". You can call it the "shadow" but it's more complex than that. But you will find out that anyways. >we always talk about how you have to remain in control in magic ABANDON ALL ILLUSIONS OF CONTROL I always liked that saying. The goal is to let go of the "illusion of control" so you can understand what is the real flow of things. No one told me this cliché sentence tho. My control was no illusion but it was still strangling my own potential so it had to go. >The balance i mean we are walking contradictions of tangles mess and then we build cities like a twisted corrupted cancer of the natural world, which in turn changes us even more.. Yeah... shame we cannot go back into the wilderness on our current level... it' almost easier to shift into an another reality than go back into the primordial hunter gatherer. We are too spoiled and don't even notice it. >A simple thing taking a bath For me it takes like 30 mins or even hours when I am truly dirty. It's for my mind mostly. I have to slowly let go of the mundane madness or I don't feel "clean" at all. >which give you the sensation of being clean and hydrated I never feel "clean" after a shower. For me it's a deep thing. >you don't notice because the fragrance is hiding it Women stink so much while trying to hide it with their Rexona and such it's unbelievable. They smell like toilet refreshers for me. I told people several times that using toilet refreshers doesn't make the smell "go away" and leave the doors and windows open so it can dissipate faster instead of trapping the stink and the toilet refresher into a small room. I loathe them so much. >using make up to cover the shit And nowadays the west is trying to make the "Ugly" into "beautiful" by brainwashing. <Why clean up? Just brainwash everyone that everything is aaaalllllright Surely a foolproof method and never the reason why empires fall through history all the time!

>>2123 >eventually if we continue on this road it will be ugly man-beast wearing clown makeup to appear civilized. Do not worry fren! There is a magical mechanism called natural selection! As much we think modern technology has an answer for everything but infinite amount of useless and dysgenic people won't be able not just to create it but maintain it either thus they will short circuit before they can "make it into the future". The goal is ofc to notice it and not get dragged down by them and save the promising ones in the process if we have the strength and patience to do so. >I am just getting carried to the best frequency rn is all. Nah you are just becoming aware of the radio. You are starting to notice that "there is a music in the background" and finally started to look for it. You are finally able to hear the notes properly and understand the lyrics and the jokes the people saying on the radio. The tuning will happen once you truly have a proper grasp on the device. >fully integrate all that :/ Yeah. Don't skip on that. Or your limbs will dance to different songs while your mind is chasing a goose in the distance. Understand what Oneness means. >I know..it's hard to accept I remember when I realized the "concept of death". Grandma always cared about tending the graves and she took me with her in some cases. Asked once that "where are the people whose faces are on the stone?" She told me "they died". I had a moment of silence because I didn't know what any of those things meant then started to cry uncontrollably. Like in an instant I became aware of all the concepts of death that people are buried when they die and we go and "tend the graves" of the "dead" for "some reason" because it was "obvious for everyone" it required "no explanation". My mind just accepted a baseline truth and left an another moment of blissful ignorance behind. I sometimes think about that. I had no concept of death and suddenly I was aware of it like it was obvious. Just how many things are like that? They need no explanation they are ever present and "everyone knows it". The classical way of "learning" becomes absolutely obsolete when you realize how to "notice these things". I had to realize that my concept of death is plagued by misconceptions that mundanes propagate all the time because they don't have "anything else". >uh wonder how they all got there what's wrong with them?? might teach us a thing or two. Especially once you see how cyclical this whole thing is. >Have you tried a more feminine approach? Yes and I am still improving it. I spurred my flesh into motion with my authority in the past. They were like needles and thorny vines spiking my flesh into action. This dark force of stimulation needs to go. I have to find my true will to live and not force myself to live out of "spite". >you hug it bare and accept it...like a mother hugging her child covered in her own gore. Beautifully said. I had to relive that moment years ago. When that happened. The original love you had to go through but forgot. My mother told me that she loves me but then she turned a switch in her mind and started to describe me as the scourge of her own existence. I don't know when it happened but I acknowledged that her words "mean nothing" long ago. Her love and hate both are meaningless not just for me but for her too. If they had a real meaning she would be able to act and build upon them. But they are like shadows of the past she doesn't even remember properly at all. Because of this my own femininity is fragmented. I need time to retain it in a healthy way. So hard to find women with proper femininity it's ridiculous. Most of them are like cheap plastic bags half full with leftover food not even worth eating that the wind blows on the street and not even dogs bother with it. >also have to accept their shadow too You have to find your own light in the process or the shadow takes over. The shadow is the shadow for a reason. The problems it contains got there "somehow". You will have to replace the energies with something better and more potent. Accepting the faults of others won't make your life better. You have to fix them or leave them. >and...complicated Yeah >but basically stop being a meanie and bee yourself. Wanted to write down a convoluted reply but... yes. That is the ultimate realization. Cannot put it better. >different way to understand things and my ways aren't really applicable. Your angle is different. People who cannot change the angle of their mind have hard time understanding how people experience these processes. This is what I try to accomplish. Learn to tune my mind better for these things. >I am Homura at the end of rebellion :D Scared and horny? <I don't want to be with Goduka because that's scary how she can manhandle me with her kindness but I want my own personal Madoka because I am too lonely and horny without her ;_; Sorry I am not sure how else I should interpret that scene. I could go into a deepfag territory about lamenting existence and your own choices and other things but ultimately it boils down to this. Homu is just mad that she tried to save Madoka and she was saved by her instead so she cannot claim her as her "price" and fears that Goduka wouldn't accept her now "twisted version" (like Goduka doesn't know that already you silly Homu) >An affinity to something mean how much can you take it? How deep is your connection. Yes it's about the emotional and informational "bandwidth" between people. >being family means "eating from the mother" The woman "eats the seed of a man" thus turns into a mother. The fetus eats from the body of the mother then the baby from the breasts. The man provides shelter and food as the "breadwinner" while the mother maintains the "nest". She feeds the whole family in the process. Parents feed the children with food and thought. >the mother is the source of the signature of the family which is then augmented by the group, those who eat from the other are family?? This is an energy perspective. Eating the energy of others so to speak. Like kissing is about "eating/tasting but not devouring the other". Sex without impregnation counts as "tasting the other" by the views of the spirits. Spirits can taste you and you can taste them this way also. >are humans matriarchal originally ? Pre-civilization humans are "somewhat" matriarchal. Civilizations require the strength and brainpower of patriarchs and capable men. Women are unable to establish a "real matriarchy" without emasculating men in the process in our current human civilization. But it's a hard topic. To be a "matriarch" you have to become a mother first and not be a washed up whore/catlady on HR thinking yourself a "girlboss". When women become mothers their mind changes. Males who can bond with a female can become receptive of their control but only those women can do it that "know themselves". This ability is for the sole reason to maintain a balanced family. The woman can communicate their needs towards the husband can control the children and the children can also tell their problems to the mother on a subconscious level. Ofc nowadays this whole thing is fucked up thx to brainwashing and women have no idea what to do with their lives at all. The reason why I know how this works because I too had lives as a woman and let's say my husband didn't really have the "courage" to disappoint me. They were my "other half" and you don't mess with your "better half". Until getting in touch with my past female part I had an "idealist view of women". Since knowing how I had to think and act to be a "true woman" and suddenly seeing these "spoiled bitches" living in an age of prosperity and whining that they cannot be the most vapid retarded whores because ebil patriarhy? Do you have any idea how easy is to control and guide a man once you are a "proper woman" instead of a mere object of lust? Might write about that later. I am so mad that finding a woman in the flesh to draw out my potential requires "divine intervention" tier reality warping. Most you can do is to find some flesh playthings that don't sabotage your own essence too much. But concubines and wives are a different thing. >but somehow mine is different and instead i eat and assimilate to transform thus creating my own bloodline? Awakening changes your genetics. Once you awaken you become the "first patriarch" thus become the master of your bloodline. Unawakened are slave to their genetics and slave to their blood. They just "pass on" their bloodline but don't "create it". >i just had to taunt them for the lulz. They are into those things. Counts as flirting. >go back to that store with the giant women they seemed cool wonder what race they are. Stabilize your connection with them. >Is this the final form of wizard jail? roflmao. No it's not. Will tell you about those places later but you don't need to know of them yet. >few other magic users who may get in your way cuz your karma stink. What kind of magic prison inmates you are confined with lol >this post is already too messed up and my head hurts Yes you need to get used to channeling and learn to match the quality and compatibility of the energies you channel.

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>some people are born with powers and still manage to ruin their potential never advancing Some get gutted and their wings clipped with psychwards and meds in their childhood. Had to realize that having my powers dormant until I had a proper level of autonomy was a blessing. >we want to be so much more we can't stop at surface level stuff and mind eye visions Yupp. We just have to figure out the madness of these things then streamline a process to restock the active wizards of fringe as a "warm up" first lol

>>2127 >ohhh so humans back then didn't stink! Pheromones are supposed to signal the compatibility. I hate when people ask if they "stink" because a little sweat they have then don't even consider it once they have a disgusting smell of deodorant on them. >their body was in balance they barely even needed to wipe their body Yeah >even needing to eat is anomaly. Fuck that shit tbh. I realized I have a "taste" system that notices how "tasty" something is which is about flavors and one that notices the "Nutritional value" but they are on different mindwaves. Guess which one is overdeveloped in the modern human and which one is neglected. >A dying body sustaining itself for as long as possible. We're ghouls! Yeah... >we truly inherited their sins by being born here. Yes we did but >so that's what you meant by "becoming your ancestor" This is the surface level truth. What you want is the deeper truth the "ancestral purpose/strength" that is not just "reproduce reproduce reproduce" but some deeper force in your being. If you don't have it then feel free to find your own way. I have a feeling I forced bloodlines to mix so I can incarnate into this body for a while. People being born on the same days having the same given names from different bloodlines without them knowing of each other... There are forces at play and most of them might be my "own doing". No one dared claim responsibility for my own awakening yet which might mean that I "wanted this" on some level. >Their karma is ours to resolve! A very fun puzzle. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! >Generations of unbalance, it's a wonder we're even alive! Right? >This is hilarious! RIGHT? >Anyway i can't just stop eating and washing yet Once I don't need to interact with the mundane world I too can lay it off but until that happens it's impossible. The body goes through so many withdrawals once you stop eating and bathing it's ridiculous. >maintenance of one's body is supposed to be much simpler originally Once you become whole the internal maintenance protocols of the body become far stronger and more proper too. >In regard to shapeshifting there seem to be a "way of the heart" and a "way of the mind" Now that you mention it... Yes >i wonder why you focused on the brain when making bodies fren I didn't actually "make the bodies" they formed in accordance of my will/energies. Did you make your own body you reside in or it formed with accordance of your will and available energies? It's a natural process you must not forget it. Also I chose the "mind" because I have hard time utilizing the full potential of the heart. I hid and shunned my heart while I had to make my mind shine and soar to reach the place I am in today. I consider my mind a "Better resource" while my heart is still a mystery to me. It's truth is not ready to come through yet. Also people can hurt my heart more easily than my mind. My mind can fight back while my heart just weeps when they wrong me. I don't like to see my heart weep so I made my mind figure out ways that no one will wrong me. But I realized I have to stop that. This constant "everyone is a threat I have to figure out how their sword of Damocles is placed upon their head so I can make sure it stabs them before they stab me" thinking needs to go. Especially because it makes me worry about others constantly. Seeing the weaknesses of others and seeing how they are going to trip on their own retardation turning me into like a worried mother bothers me so much it's unreal. People are so weak and stupid it's unbelievable. <Those who think laugh those who feel cry Do you want to laugh or weep? This is my answer why I chose the mind. The truth is you will weep and laugh at once when you truly awaken. Until that I chose to laugh like a madman instead of weeping like an orphan. >but the heart is a "core" that also contain everything about you Yes but the mind can comprehend things that are beyond you >so it should be possible by just crushing and replacing the old one My mind has the sole purpose to protect the heart. I will not crush it. I had to let entities work on it so I can attain the "etheric heart" and it took me quite the high level of trust on that level to let it happen. >seems even riskier than messing with the mind. The mind regenerates it returns. Mine does at least. I can redownload my own mind from my "Higher self" if something happens. Did it several times already. The heart is more crucial in most cases. I cannot talk about my heart as freely as I talk about my mind. Hard to explain why. My true expression is still hidden.

>>2133 > I sometimes think about that. I had no concept of death and suddenly I was aware of it like it was obvious. Just how many things are like that? They need no explanation they are ever present and "everyone knows it". The classical way of "learning" becomes absolutely obsolete when you realize how to "notice these things". I had to realize that my concept of death is plagued by misconceptions that mundanes propagate all the time because they don't have "anything else". I've thought of something related, but not about death. Mostly I also don't intuitively "understand" concepts like that because what normaltards are "understanding" is usually very weirdly formatted and filled with baggage that one has to internalize before the "simple concept" can be seen. But anyway, thinking back at how things were when I was around 7 -8 years old, I realized that I had instantly at this time grasped the main format of American syndicate cartoons: that they can't have story progression like a normal book or movie, because the characters can't die or change. They have to always reset back to the starting point, leaving one dissatisfied with the story. The contrast that made this clear was when I first read Modesty Blaise. Although the stories also return to some state of normalcy after each finished episode, only the very basic structure remains, characters introduced can die, the main characters can be injured, etc. The way they also ignored common morality was also something that stood out compared to how most stories were structured. The main characters are leaders of a crime organization, there's full on nudity, they kill people. Later when the (pretty crappy in retrospective) Highlander tv series appeared, it also broke off from other shows by letting the bad guy die at the end of each episode. This made it feel fresh and satisfying again. I think this resulted in me always contrasting between "normal, boring narratives that return to status quo" and "realistic narratives about what would more likely happen". And it was always close to impossible to talk about the latter with anyone, even if the media in question was sold at normal stores or aired on tv. It comes down to internalizing some kind of concept of normality or morality which to me is just impossible to endure because of the degree of misrepresenting reality contained within it.

>>2149 Another thing I've thought about is learning maths, like equations or some more simple methods (whatever is taught to 12 year olds). I used to just read the description for the procedure, try it 3 times and then I knew it. The teacher then expected me to sit there for an hour and do the same procedure at least 12 times more, which was just incomprehensible to me. Doing it three times is enough to see that I grasped it right, and for me that was enough. Once learned, I would not forget it. Repeating something I already knew felt like some kind of torture, and it made me hate school and society overall, something which remains to this day. It was of course at the time incomprehensible to me that someone didn't understand the procedure at once, but would sit there and struggle with it for a full hour, performing calculations without understanding them. It was the same with English vocabulary, I found that just reading the word a few times along with its translation, then staring at the image of the word, then suddenly looking away and not thinking about it, made it stay in my memory. So I did this and it took 10 - 20 min to learn the same number of new words. I rarely made more than 1 spelling mistake for a full set and would never forget the words after. I only experienced any difficulty once I went way outside my comfort zone, trying to learn completely new things or new languages. So is this how "normal" people live? The culture they grew up in, is to them as hard to grasp as it is for me to understand Japanese?

>>2168 It really triggers me how the left took the "woke" for "awoke" and perverted the whole meaning of awakening altogether then it turned into an absolute meme that no one takes seriously. Same with the rainbow flag. Paramount spiritual importance but now it represents sodomy. At the start I was mad about it. Now I see how it happens through history all the time and they always reach a breaking point and erase themselves from the genepool. They can degenerate all they want. Once they lose their ability to regenerate then it's over. They never manage to generate anything value in the end just a harsh lesson about the reality of things.

>>2169 I like to call it Cuckoo mentality. Because the mentality of these people mirrors almost exactly the mentality of a bird whose young have been murdered by a Cuckoo bird, but she refuses to expel the invader and in fact kills her own family because she lets her maternal instinct be exploited. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xkQkyLniPU You'll actually see a lot of these "woke" people in youtube comments under videos where the Cuckoo chick is being starved or killed unironically talk about how the mother bird is actually evil somehow for not feeding it and kicking it out of the nest. It's as though they'd rather let their own family die rather than actually fighting back against someone who's actively trying to kill them, just because doing that would feel "mean".

>>2127 Some other things about ancestors and their karma. Found a Buddhist radio "out of nowhere" (funny how these things happen as always) and even they were talking about it. They mentioned some interesting things. Supposedly the body is able to hold 7 generation's worth of memories or karma (was able to go back till like 4 so far on my own didn't know they have a set number for that) and they mentioned how nowadays we are too much on the "Yin" mentality where we only care about the "appearance" of the body barely know our ancestors and we know nothing about our bloodlines nor do we "Plan" in the "yang direction" which is about when making the offspring which "abilities" they will inherit. There are quite powerful bloodlines in Asia that pay extreme attention to this "Pedigree" so they will always have access to their own "peak genetics" and most importantly abilities when they reincarnate and pay attention which souls will appear in the body of their offspring. This is quite the "Yang" mentality because they mostly care about the "spirit" and the "wishes of the flesh" the "Yin" is secondary. This is why the caste system was paramount back then but we know way too well how most Indians are all "curry flavored" nowadays so only the most through bloodlines managed to do that and even they had their hiccups and they are mostly either in seclusion or within their own circles nowadays. You only meet them if your "karma permits it" so to speak. So what I am trying to say with "ancestral karma". The first importance is to find your own "dormant abilities" and watch out so you don't mix up the "memories of your flesh/DNA" with the "past life memories of your soul". Even in the radio they said it's important to notice the difference because most people don't even know the difference and... well in many cases people go and incarnate as their family members later on as a "karmic consequence" in some cases and that messes up things even more. They said an example like how choosing your wife "for some reason" happens because you had extremely strong bonds with your grandpa and lovers that are too bound by love and sexuality might reincarnate as siblings where they are "not allowed to continue their karma on the basis of sex but with only true love" and other weirdness. They said that many people that are "obsessed" with past lives without "Being above karma" will have a high chance to be unable to handle the "truth of that karma" so chasing that is not always a good idea. And yes now even I have a hard desire to look into these karmic relations to understand the madness my family is generating constantly... I think I am not that "related" to my family but a voice within me says "there are more to it". yay? Half the path is about untangling the shit you are in and the rest is making sure you are not entangling yourself for no reason... No wonder the Buddha wanted to Nirvana the fuck out asap. There are shackles you must be extra careful as you remove them because they hold extremely specific things and not just mere poison and bile. Can't even put into words what I am dealing with anymore. The funny thing about the "will of the ancestors". If they have no built in "awakening system for their abilities" because they were inept or lazy or just simply not stimulated in the right way. You can "air out" their negative energies once you figure out how you can awaken the higher form of your own genetics. All the voices the "closer ancestors" are making in your psyche will go and STFU because THE TRUE ANCESTOR IS SPEAKING. THROUGH YOU BY YOU WITH YOU because now IT'S YOU who has the ability to make it through and become the "real thing" instead of a "mere carrier" of energies intents and DNA. Ofc for this you will need to realize your own soul forces at play and figure out "why are you in your current body". Even in the radio they said that there are texts which describe how before the "moment of (re)birth" you go through a "play" with "6 million participants" where you can "decide" who will be your dad mom and how your own and some other souls you are "acquainted with" will "enter into the world once again". Ofc once you make the decision it becomes "decided" and after in the next stages the "flesh and karma bound ego" has hard time making choices until reaching a level of awakening. Even I managed to come to this conclusion that there are moments of "true lucidity" when choices are "permitted" but it's still hard to say how it works. It usually depends how trapped are you in your own karmic machinations. Chinese have quite detailed science (but considered as pseudoscience by the west) that explain which bodily feature caused by what karma. The radio even mentioned something called "national karma" which depends on the "air" a nation has. Like people who have hard time accepting/digesting the past usually have digestion problems while those who have "no hope or vision for the future" usually have respiratory system related problems... which was the exact thing that plagued me since my childhood and it required me several stages of awakening to be able to get rid of it bit by bit because it was THAT deep seated within the lower parts of my psyche. It's like my breathing didn't have an energy a sort of "pride" a "reason to exist" it was a constant "acceptance of defeat and lethargy" kind of energy. Even when I succeeded in any endeavor it just merely felt like a "moment without defeat" and not as a "victory". This "living is the same as being defeated" mentality is the worst. Ofc it has the ability to generate an extremely powerful not just "Underdog" nor "avenger" but a sort of "struggler" mentality where you know defeat "so much" that you know what moments grant victory by default and how much your "enemies" are not aware of their own defeat in the air but... this mentality is still "defeat oriented". It cannot consider the "state of mind" when victory is not just a "Moment" but an everlasting way of conduct. Supposedly there is a stage in Buddhism when you "can no longer fall". No matter what trials will come to you next you know and wield the correct energies so well the "karma" of any situation cannot touch you anymore. Ofc it just means you now have a foundation and need to focus on even higher or "truer" stages of existence but it's always important to "go beyond" of yourself or go "closer to yourself within yourself". Even in the radio they said that hindus are always trying to reach "Higher stages of existence" while Buddhists are always trying to find the "perfect middle" but as I have seen it so far it talks about the same thing. For "true heights" you need to be properly centered. I always liked this pic related Jung quote because it is about the "as above so below" but what is important is always the "strength of the trunk" that can connect the two. You mentioned you are seeing "roots" in your body. They will change forms a lot. Roots branches flowers snakes electric currents. For me currently they are either weird shapes or lightning. From the skies I attain a sort of "blue lightning" while my body is generating a "golden lightning" and some other machinations my pineal "is doing something" and I was finally able to tell to some of my "ancestral thoughts" to "pay attention" because it's time to manifest a "new genetic lesson of the ages". Was so unsure what to do with them in the past months. Ofc in the early vampire years there was the thing where people "cut their ancestral cord" and that is also a "choice" if your genetic line is truly a curse and you have a tradition you want to "married into" and truly "truly able to leave things behind" but I will let the true form of my genetics show first then decide how much I will keep if I will keep some. Feel like there are some useful stuff if I find the correct energies. >>2089 >You realize that the entire reality is made from electricity and magnetism right? Like electrons and gravity? >oh right i forgot this stuff. I kinda meant as in electricity and magnetism is the same thing at a higher level, I meant here that your body and the reality you "reside" is "the same" on some levels. At higher stages you are not just your body but your aura and your "true reality" and there will be an "accordance with the current reality" and I meant that I am somewhat developing the ways the entire reality can "bend with me" instead of merely "shapeshifting". For me shapeshifting is a "secondary siddhis" that is granted by default to those that "truly awaken" while what my focus is on the entire not just "fabric of reality" but the energies of existence that change with every notion and thought you make and do. The problem ofc is that it generates weird anomalies like storm spirits constantly stimulate my meridians and I become horny as hell when I summona storm once it's "here" and my main focus is not about "changing" the body but finally being able to stabilize my "true form" in a way it doesn't break this poor ass reality. Fucking low maintenance Kali Yuuga I swear... EVERYTHING JUST FUCKING BREAKS because everything is "made of karma" so when I break a karma the "karmic resonance" will break other structures that are "made" from similar "karmic frequencies". AND I AM LITERALLY AIMING FOR GENTLE TRANSFORMATION AND STUFF STILL BREAK because karma... Currently I am in a stage where I cannot "break" or "rip apart" the "veils" anymore but I have to let them be not just "lifted" by like being "pulled off". They feel like ski masks being pulled off from my head by an "another hand" when I am finally "letting it happen". Going from the direction of the mind into the direction of the heart to let the "true balance" manifest and not this shitty understanding of "pOlaRiTiEs" that plagues the mind constantly is so... strenuous? or I don't even know what is the right word here anymore because it's about realizing the "right effort" instead using faulty patterns and repeatedly knocking with our head on the wrong doors. Accepting the true stillness of the heart takes time. I remember when my spine started to develop and I told Shiva that "I don't feel my spine" anymore. He told me that I didn't "feel my spine" but "felt the pain my misaligned spine made"... I didn't "feel" the spine but felt the "pain" it makes and thought the pain as a "normal sensation". This is why overcoming the bodily sensations is paramount so you are not "chased by them" anymore nor "feeling" them but simply "being aware" of the body. Being aware of the true form that the body and mind is supposed to "emanate".

>>2279 Ancestral experiences are only inherited up to the point of conception, keep that in mind. For generations, women got married as teens with only knowing how to do basic housework and farming being passed on for the female genetics, while the man who may be somewhat older had some beginning understanding of their profession. But most of the real skill in any job (actually it was "guild" and it was pretty masonic back then) was gained at the later stages of life, where these experiences are not inherited by birth. That is why education and secret societies became a thing. The experiences and knowledge of old age are passed on from person to person as they get older, at which point they already have children who then remain ignorant but with potential. The real knowledge is not passed on to them unless they prove themselves. So that it why knowledge has to exist in two lines, the bloodline and the external esoteric body taught from master to disciple. Being given proper education will save you so much trouble that you can get centuries ahead compare to learning on your own. If it's not given access to, you remain at basic drone level, even if your bloodline is pure.

However the path to "proving" yourself in this system should be by being as good a drone as possible. Only then when ready to receive the knowledge, can it be given. This requires an ability to channel your teacher or body of knowledge without having any inner resistance. It may look like disciple is only for being a drone or slave, and for those who never gained the real education, they think this is the point. So they will oppress you randomly while not instilling the ability to channel real information into your mind in a way that creates learning. Instead they will just gaslight you into "following orders" while thinking this is the point. Give them an industrial robot and they couldn't program it, they'd try to gaslight it into being as confused as possible, not realizing that it's already the perfectly obedient tool, which is ready to be given the knowledge. That is what is happening in our society now. People who never learned the basic disciple themselves are now in control of the power-system, and using it to just ruin anyone's ability of forming the proper mindset. Because these rulers were never given any knowledge, they didn't pass the stage of disciplining themselves, so they never grasped the point of the training they were given, thinking it was only based on the whims of an evil oppressor. Then they become that evil oppressor, confirming for themselves that that is what the system was form. Meanwhile those who actually have the esoteric knowledge, will create the functional drone class and educated it properly.

>>2281 Thx for writing this reply because this just proves how MY POST WAS TOO SHORT AND EASY TO MISINTERPRET. Time to elaborate I guess and post the only MHA pic I have somehow on my PC. >Ancestral experiences are only inherited up to the point of conception Genetic patterns can linger beyond and I meant the TRUE ANCESTRAL abilities and not "materialistic society skills". This "you cannot awaken on your mentality" is the worst. You just need to find the proper direction and go for it. >For generations, women got married as teens with only knowing how to do basic housework and farming being passed on for the female genetics For millenniums and not just "Generations". This is why females with psychic potential had a "chance" to develop it alongside their mother and grandmother because they were always in the same house doing the same activities while today you have to get into a brainwashing facility at the age 6 or into an emotional maltreatment facility at the age 3 thus weakening your parental bonds that should stimulate your genetic energies blossoming BEYOND THE CONCEPTION. Breastmilk is not the only substance you are supposed to get from your parents then tossed into governmental institutions until your death. >while the man who may be somewhat older had some beginning understanding of their profession Those were the "craftsmen" who had to sell their "abilities" and not the men who were able to follow their path and awaken on their own. This is the curse of being born into a society that has no idea of the spiritual. >But most of the real skill in any job And I was not talking about the ability of "being able whore yourself out for a materialistic society" but the actual truth of your psyche that is not for "working/earning cash till death/retirement". This is why I hate every manifestation of communism on earth so far. THEY ARE UNABLE TO CONSIDER THAT THERE IS SOMETHING BEYOND LIFE THAN WORKING FOR THE SAKE OF MATERIALISM. Maybe just maybe if soviets could keep up their psychic research for 40 more years they would have an "Inclination" that maybe they could understand what is "Harmony" and what is the spiritual about but as I see it currently they would have declared war against other realms of existence with their psychic soldiers because they are that blind to many aspects of truth. Religion was nothing but a control tool and an another form of surveillance method for them. >(actually it was "guild" and it was pretty masonic back then) >was pretty masonic REEEEEEEEE. No guilds were not "masonic" guilds had the form of the spirit of true craftsmanship and initiation and "Free™ Masons" perverted everything while forgetting their main purpose. All crafts had their "god" or "saint" aka an egregore that they tried to connect to. You wrote that part right but this is like the chicken or the egg question and told me how eggs were like KFC spicy winglike back then. >where these experiences are not inherited by birth. Yes but that was an "initiation" into an another system. This happened when a farmer had "extra children that he couldn't take care of" so he gave one to the craftsman for "apprenticeship". Craftsman usually had enough money to send their children for other works and rarely initiated their children into their own craft if they had the means to do otherwise. But every guild was different. And they died out instantly once manufactures outpaced them. "Masons" had a way because you will not build a manufacture for that craft so they could get money and keep their guild formation till the end until they went into secret society wankfest because they realized that they build "everything" and no system can exist without them or they can enjoy their mudhuts and let their castles collapse on their heads. You can have as much money as you want when there is no one to build your castles. This is how they gained power but realized they have to get rid the monarch that can take away everything they have under a moment's notice if they step out of line. This is why they needed the lodges and every method to "built their own kingdom" without any kings so "everyone can be a king". Back then they thought the king is their only obstacle towards greatness. This is why they always appeared at places where the kings had the least amount of control until founding the USA. >That is why education and secret societies became a thing Yes and no. "Guilds" are not the same as like Pythagorean cults were nor the same as whatever Egyptians and the Orphic cults did. This is the "Materialistic cult mentality" where "gods" are just "mere concepts" or an another tool for power and avarice. I don't want to "imply" that I meant the "abilities" that you can use to extort money from others. If you have that mentality these abilities will be stimulated in the wrong way and won't awaken at all. Any energy that is not above "greed" will just block the proper awakening of the genetic truths. >are not inherited by birth This mentality that everything is passed down "only at birth" then you can throw out the child into the slave system like it's nothing is the worst. The base DNA is like a mere seed. It will not blossom into a tree without the proper soil the necessary moisture and nutrients and without the light that shone over every tree before it. Those energies "do not come from the parents" but they are bathed and shaped in those energies thus they are the most adapted to it but once the "learning curve" for the adaptation severely changes you cannot expect the offspring reach the same levels as the ancestor. DNA is like a giant fragmented zipfile that you have to unzip then put together once everything is ready. Figuring out how to uncorrupt the files is an another journey altogether but the DNA can regenerate once the necessary energies are back. >The real knowledge is not passed on to them unless they prove themselves They need to be "ready". This "proving yourself" mentality is such a great mental block is ridiculous. You cannot "prove yourself" in modern soyciety in any ways because all we can do is to "follow trends" and no "real achievements" and I had to let go of the absolutely masculine desire to constantly "prove myself" until a "female or any greater power worth following accepts me". Especially because there are no heroes today. No examples to follow. If any person shows potential the media will rip them apart if they become too famous "On their own" and not part of the system by default. >So that it why knowledge has to exist in two lines Yeah this is a great mentality especially when the knowledge is not compatible with the bloodline and creates the current DEI hire disaster in every segment because "we are all the same they just need more opportunities". That is not how it works. Every genetic attribute requires different type of simulation to blossom it's potential. >and the external esoteric body taught from master to disciple Yes and nowadays we have the most retarded "teachers" who are not even willing to connect to the "students" they are supposed to "teach". For them it's not a "passion" not even a real "profession" but a "mere job" where they do their job "good enough to get paid" what happens with the children once they are out of their sight doesn't even matter. Oh and all children are the same! No need for different classes and curriculums. They must run and learn at the same speed and let's not even consider the damage their parents do to them just consider them as a "mere product" and not as human beings. I was "lucky" because at least half my teachers were decent but it gets worse every year. And the "secret society teaching" was IMPORTANT because once the quality of the profession and the initiation falls the whole system will degenerate. You cannot initiate retards into a system and into the higher egregore and think "everything will just work out lolle".

>>2283 >However the path to "proving" yourself in this system should be by being as good a drone as possible Yes that is why nerds are being beaten in their class and skool shootings are ever present because people just generate such a "superb" communal drone energies. The system cannot even do that. They are like diseased animal farms where the workers stopped caring long ago about the health of the animals. It became a "survival of the fit enough" in a maladapted environment. Most of the ways and forms your body is supposed to grow and awaken is just not possible in this system until you notice a glimpse of awakening in yourself. My hardest truth to realize in my youth was that "no one knows shit". Even if they "know something" I must make sure I have ways to complete that truth within or let go of that knowledge once it's no longer applicable. I had to start to walk the "path of the Eternal Fool" because I won't "learn" wisdom if I propagate what others do around me. Kids are supposed to mature by imitating their parents. If I did that I would be a depressed alcoholic or in jail today. But my parents didn't have "alcoholic genetics" either. They just didn't have use to truly utilize their gifts and once they gave up it was over. If a system doesn't give you a way to grow you just need to make that way towards growth. Seeds burrow through the soil and might spend quite the time in the darkness until they overgrow the other plants and trees of the forest. We must find a way to grow from the darkness and grow under the dim lights towards the true extent of that light. >Only then when ready to receive the knowledge, can it be given This is an ever present truth. No need to muddle it with secret societies. Your DNA can only blossom with the proper energies be it flesh DNA or soul DNA it cannot grow from the wrong energies given at the wrong time. I could rant for hours because all the negative energies my parents passed upon me because they had no way to utilize their own abilities thx to communism and thx to this rotten capitalism that "defeated communism". >This requires an ability to channel your teacher or body of knowledge without having any inner resistance Yes. This is what I said by "marrying into a tradition" where you can "cut your cord" because it just creates resistance. That is not the "ancestral knowledge" but the "societal knowledge". >Your teacher lol. The goal is to notice and channel truth from any direction. Beings that operate by higher principles share their truth freely. This "we must safeguard every knowledge" mentality is misunderstood. "Apprentices" are not allowed to talk about because then outsiders will misinterpret it but this was a rule when it was just on oral tradition yet... when books became a thing it was an another matter. Reading and interpreting a book with the wrong mindset generates catastrophes. Jews were unable to interpret even their fucking Torah properly. And if the knowledge has an energetic signature aka "comes from an another world" aka channeled and not "built on human experiences" then it leaves a karmic energy trail that wreaks a havoc and will be destroyed or simply "lost" as a consequence. There are even yogic texts that talk about knowledge that were ever present in the "golden age" but cannot be talked in the current age. The energies are not ready for that. The Yogi must find those energies and mental state on their own before he can receive those energies. >It may look like disciple is only for being a drone or slave Yes these "cults" don't understand what was the true meaning of "Initiation" they have this "fraternity" mentality where everyone is a "fratboy" and "initiation" means "bullying the newguy" then getting drunk and fucking bitches. >and for those who never gained the real education, they think this is the point Yeah. I cannot even comprehend how bad are these "secret societies" are at some places and how long they have at all. Once their foundational truth vanishes the whole thing will collapse on their head and they get entangled with that extreme levels of karma that they gathered since the foundation. But we know this too well how that looks aren't we. >So they will oppress you randomly while not instilling the ability to channel real information into your mind in a way that creates learning. Instead they will just gaslight you into "following orders" while thinking this is the point. Yes this mentality is ever present on the whole societal ladder. Very few people understand the real purpose and weight of power and authority. Got into trouble quite the time because of it as a child. I have a sense for authority and I know when someone has it and when they are just being a "petty tyrant" that no one respects. I cannot follow those people. It's energetically impossible. The only thing I can "do" is copy their mindset and figure out "what they are trying to say" because their authority is not emanating thus they are unable to "transmit orders" they just imitate their "hollow knowledge what it means to have authority" with usually pedantry or misconceptions. >Give them an industrial robot and they couldn't program it First they say <Kids these days can't do anything on their own then <HOW DO I OPEN A PAY DEE EFF like it's some alien technology that appeared yesterday. >People who never learned the basic disciple themselves are now in control of the power-system Wish it was the only problem. The worst it was they don't understand the "driving forces" they have within and in others. What makes things move. It's even worse when they try to tell you "their discipline" and how you have to adhere to it or you won't get anywhere AND THE REASON WHY YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE BECAUSE YOU LISTENED TO THOSE FUCKS HOW THINGS WORK AT THE START. >and using it to just ruin anyone's ability of forming the proper mindset Yes. And they think they are "disciplining others" with that. This is how "they teach discipline". They don't even know what "discipline" means they think "discipline" is when soldiers stay in line and wait to get shot without saying a word while they wouldn't even dare to stand near the frontline at all. Master and disciple MUST share their mindsets or they are no master nor disciple. Masters can learn from their disciple quite a lot as they try to realize the faults of their own internalized knowledge. Perfect knowledge is easy to internalize for others too. If they cannot easily distribute it then there are great problems with either of his understanding with his ability to connect or with the "Mental distance" that is between master and disciple which means then the master can "only understand himself" thus proving he is no master at all. Calling yourself a master doesn't make you a master. First it requires a realization of a truth then a way to express it to others where they acknowledge your mastery. Otherwise you are a mere weirdo that no one can understand. >Because these rulers were never given any knowledge Yes on that level "bloodline" means nothing. Kings were kings because they had the best ability to lead good virtue that everyone respects and not just a "kid on the big chair" that everyone must respect OR ELSE. >they didn't pass the stage of disciplining themselves It's about understanding the way of growth. The worst part was when I realized that my psychic body "didn't manage to grow into my full body" because I constantly held back in my whole life. I was walking slouched pulled my shoulders inside by reflex tried to appear as small as possible. Why? Being large and confident is scaaaary for others. Must not scare those retards. Must let them feel large and confident or they won't talk to you. i was literally suffocating myself in my own body. "Discipline" my ass. For some reason discipline means clipping your own wings nowadays. Don't dare to be good at something if the trends of society don't agree with the development of that segment in the current hour. >Then they become that evil oppressor, confirming for themselves that that is what the system was form I always hated the quote "power corrupts". No. Power "does not corrupt" it just means the power was either corrupt by the start or you who attained power was corrupt but it was hidden because "you had no way acting upon your corruption/desires" before attaining power. Power is just a new way to express yourself on a grander scale. Power is a mere tool and not the base of your own being. The tool is as great as the hand that holds it. But try to explain this to people who are full with corruption and even the "Pure and naive" who gets initiated into the system gets corrupted because it makes the others "look bad" if they let them keep their innocence. To know/defeat evil you have to become evil and instantly learn the correct form of those energies that got corrupted and cleanse from yourself and from others or the power is not power at all but a mere curse. And this is the problem with Kali Yuuga. Everything is karma upon karma. You have to let go of them before finding any form of awakening then you have to realize how to resolve them. >Meanwhile those who actually have the esoteric knowledge >will create the functional drone class and educated it properly. I want humans to return to humans and not to turn them into drones. But what I say has no meaning because no one know today how a true human is supposed to look like. Even the queen told me that I must watch out with that because what I mean by "Human" are the "true gods of existence" and very few people can comprehend the level I am striving towards. It's still a mystery if those levels of (mass) awakening are "allowed" in the current flow of time or it is "not meant to be" (yet). Some of my lessons about not using some of my powers until it's "meant to be" because my energies are not ready for them.

>>2285 >This "you cannot awaken on your mentality" is the worst I meant the "You cannot awaken on your Own" aka without a teacher in the flesh instructing you constantly. The necessity that you can only advance by following orders. They instill this mentality into you then they just tell you to "figure out on your own" out of nowhere when they told you to not think for yourself for the whole time. Bet I made several other mistakes like this because my energies were too frustrated for a proper focus. I am really really mad about how education is working in the last 2 centuries. Made people into an absolutely obsolete cattle then they went and called it the "Age of Enlightenment" and ridiculed everyone that disagreed. Also found an another MHA pic it's from an old hydrus library I had with a friend and seems like it remained on my HDD since that

>>2288 wtf am blind of the fucking sage setting now. Great. Forgot this site doesn't have email field but I have to tick a box. Pic related I guess. Fucking ancestral energies cannot use this imageboard properly.

>>2285 >>2286 In their futile attempts at competing with China, Russia and North Korea, the EU have now adopted the most inane version of drone-ness. Although angled wrongly, they actually did it. This creates a concept, and it can then just be turned in the right direction, then real education at the macro scale can begin. They just needed to be put under extreme pressure, where they are forced to cope even while lying to themselves about being successful. Because what works when you control win and loss and can fake it, doesn't work when you don't - you can claim you are winning over and over, but it gets increasingly painful to keep smiling when the results are lacking. Eventually they have to start adapting, even if they do it silently.

>>2292 Yes the west is speedrunning weimar again. The soviets said it would happen but they said the west will collapse in the 80s even in the worst case scenario and they didn't realize they will collapse before witnessing their prediction coming to fruition. Not to mention the (((elites))) had a plan where they will slowly buy up and "tame the east" with the power of money and (((culture))) while conquering the entire middle-east with this "war of terror" nonsense but so far the whole plan backfired especially after Russia didn't balkanize further and most of Asia consolidated power under a single strong leader instead of slowly selling out their entire country. This "rule by money" mentality is collapsing everywhere worldwide and I am not sure of the next step yet. >then real education at the macro scale can begin. Wonder how that will look like for a while. So much not just useless but extremely obsolete knowledge is in the head of billions of people it's ridiculous. They are making products to be obsolete by design then treating people as products thus turning them to be obsolete for an obsolete world.

>>2293 They are "secretly" mirroring Russia because that is all they can do - imitate. So they are imitating post first wave communism without having been through the real deal, it puts them in a reliant position because they have no historical process to continue building on. Like a shadow they can only mirror the movements they see.

>>2131 Hello fren or should i say big brother? I swear the more i smell you the more familiar you get, sometimes i wonder.. anyway my way of speaking is gonna be fucked up i fried the other ways i had with high energy that almost took my whole sense of self away haha, nothing like cold blue energy on half your brain at night to put thing into perspectives! ..it's so hard to be honest not enough and it's just bs typing with no substence, too much and it's like nuking everyone with high energies cuz idk they look like fun! the drow stuff is no joke wanting to kill everything you see is wow amazing. so i had to make the choice between waiting to post till i attain my next goals with the risk of being cut off from everyone when that happens :( or trying to post like this oh well. I literally cant be too deep or bad shit happens so excuse my general way plz thx u. >The funny thing is that they literally became the very thing they yelled at me to "not become" with their "lessons" yeah they hate themselves so they use us as scapegoats to push the sin dark matter whatever u wanna call it. So they cling into the pure by making u think you're selfish evil etc to get a form of consent. making you believe you yourself is the only one who don't deserve to be saved/happy cuz there is something deeply wrong about you fucking ghous. maybe le evil archon was our parents ! and here i thought it would be more wormy.. but yeah my mom was like that. simple shit that fucked me up for decades and even now i'm still unfucking it. She'd do shit like come to you when you're serving yourself food and say stuff like "oh wow you must really love yourself!" sarcastically basically calling u fat and selfish cuz you try to eat good, criticizing everything, we should only feel guilt in presence of someone purer than us spiritually not these things. but even them have their roles to play. btw prb why ur grandma don't eat in front of people. Cuz she's ashamed of how she eat, the way she eat food, how much she put how much of what. My mom would bitch if u put too much cheese for example or if you put something she wouldn't approve as an aside she would shame you for it. Ofc it didn't stop at food, how you walk how you talk how you breath how much you sleep how you dress, you tried everything to please her and nothing would work you'd always be a failure! I remember when i started doing my own laundry and cooking my own food she would be seething and try to make me think that i'll make it wrong anyway. she refused to teach us anything so we always stay dependent. you try to leave she'd use love to keep u hooked as soon as she think she got you it's back to square one. Funny when i left the house her health started to dwindle. Yeah no shit i was the main meal! Dad has potential to be better but he the typical male asshole growing up, y'know shit like punching your head when ur 3-5 cuz he doesn't like the sound you make when u cry. Also he would do it sadistically OH RIGHT IT HURTS UH? I KNOW I HURT BAD SO LISTEN TO ME! to this day when i get on the bed i try to be as slow as possible, cuz he would get furious mad if the bed made a sound. i'm working on this one. Like i said evil yeah but he got potential he just gave up after a harsh life and became the very thing he hated. It's funny isn't it? Beating your kids and then screaming THAT'S NOT REAL BEATINGS I AM THE ONE WHO GOT REALLY BEAT. I got stuck so long trying to save them haha it's funny the other day i was talking to demons trying to get mom some better deals but then realized the only spirit she ever had was fairy me love piece awakened into a fairy with my awareness expansion* like BRUH. I'm calling everybody home rn btw :p. she's like an empty shell who will blame others till she dies. U take pity? well that's an attachment buddy i hope you're ready to pay the price of blood. They both had bad childhoods but hey so did i. btw fuck that way of thinking <others had it worse than me so I'll pretend to be okay and though it up! breed abusers Y'ALL HAVE TO ACCEPT YOU HAVE SUFFERED! YES IT WAS THAT BAD YES IT WAS HELL ON EARTH AND YES IT'S ALSO NOTHING TO AN AWAKENED BEING SO KEEP PUSHING! YOU'RE LITERALLY AWARENESS BAKA SO U BEING AWARE OF IT BEING BAD MEAN IT WAS BAD FUCKING HELL!!!

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>You cannot truly "leave" without utilizing your whole soul forces that still slumber within your body. Seem some males do that no? Big head with shriveled body. They focus on the higher and neglect the lower, they end up back here after some time though so.. If i cut an egg in the middle and put it flat on the table human body can i say the lower part of the egg is worse than the higher part? well it's more of an ammonite but u get what i mean.. Isn't that retarded? i'll explain my view: so can u say sex is worse than reproduction of offspring? or are they all part of the egg? maybe fix that shame that is the root if u want enough juice for your head! they so dumb so dumb! >the tulpa will become the "true owner of the body" and you won't be able to come back because you "changed so much"... ofc as a true master you can bypass this but let's get to the other problem first. I don''t feel like a master but the way i see it now is that it's all me but not the current me. Like i am my tulpa i am my servitors but it's not the human me. ok so like i am the son and we're the childrenego of our mother but i'm also the mother..uhhh >You mean you are invisible to them or how should I interpret your "karma" here? yep ti's what i meant sorry for being obtuse . ohh right i am gonna say this SPOILER AHEAD DONT READ IF U WANNA HAVE MORE FUN! **remember how Kali drink the blood ok i think i got some of it, so this world is literally your own head a reflection of yourself like a self imposed challenge a womb and also a snail spirally egg thing you must travel through to become a god. so remember Sariel i could possess her? cuz i am also Sariel but Sariel is also her own person I am just not aware enough of Sariel to be Sariel same for Azazel same for everybody else. Oh right the demon blood, so to come down here we had to give up all our stuff, our bodies so to speak, so there is huge part of me that is time just an example, yup it's a thought form alright! but the thing is it's not something outside of me it's fairy me as a time construct maintaining time FOR ME, for you it would be tiny u doing the same, cuz u and me it's just a perspective of where the focal point of awareness is. I started absorbing my time btw, now time has less hold of me and i can fuck off for 3 days in an astral realm and it's only gonna be a night here. but that's also a useless classification trying to be muh scientific spiritually, THIS IS THE ASTRAL WE ARE IN THE ASTRAL THAT'S JUST A VERY SOLID REALM WITH IT'S OWN SET OF RULES AND THE ASTRAL IS JUST A USELESS CLASSIFICATION CUZ IT'S ALL IN UR HEAD AAAAA so i can create an object here and it will appear it'll just appear following some rules that make u think "no way i did that!" and wheter it's created or not depend on how much will/belief u put into that cuz counters work to mess that and maintain the illusion I literally did that yesterday created an object from thoughts WTF. it was a lost object that i wanted my friend to find back it appeared on his table no one put it there. So about the blood, let's say i'm stressed rn, i'm losing part of myself to the stress/they think they are stress so it has to come back, but cuz it's stress me it come back as stress event as per the rule of this realm. That's the blood-seed! Why stress happens? cuz some challenge appeared and i gave in instead of believing in myself and that's karma !! So like u get attacked by glowies it's ur own energies coming back and them unconsciously using it but u allow it cuz u want your part back. behind every attack u only find yourself get that back and they can't even see you there is nothing to attack. inner glowies isn't something i thought i would say one day. Now ofc i could blame myself for all the bad shit but that's the wrong angle cuz they're their own person too, it's just a choice of do u want more responsibility awarness or less responsibility awarness. This whole thing is just us being more conscious of our unconscious that was here the whole time, and by that i mean the head. paradoxally in becoming god we each become more of ourselves not what others want us to be that count spiritually too btw like here we think omg cool wizards i wanna be wizard too so u conform to other thinking to please them but that's ego bs and again the ego isn't the enemy it's just the offsrping of a higher u, so the path is literally becoming more of yourself by getting rid of the fluff but also and here is the trick RETAINING IT THANK U FOR HELPING MEEEE we're humans but we're unbalanced with nature animals are balanced but it's unconscious balance the point is to become human and then have a conscious balance/harmony with nature that is both internal and external which for me is symbolized with the tail, the tail = lower dimensions animal plant minerals waves etc Horns = higher scales on the body hybrid human-dragon form = bridging the gap I'm getting the animal part rn so still work to do the thing is u can't tell this to people cuz they'll just think themselves is their current self the sinner lol and not what u aspire to be DEEP DOWN which is the realized u. so yeah fun times ahead and much horrors :3** >Existence allows you to "shatter it" because you will heal it so well that existence will "Improve" once it happens. maybe that's what we're doing uh we come down here be as humans open the path organically and this opens it for others. Well fuck seems i'm out of juice. and also out of time..it's a bit sad. I try to talk to my guides and to gods but the only response i get is the creepiest smile i ever seen. Anyway i am making my egg but this will cut me off, i'll try the stone tablet method and leave an opening to this egregore.. but idk if it'll work or if i even wanna do it this way. And i also wanted to keep some people but..idk bro gonna end the universe in my body and be reborn. i'll leave the rest as rotating stone tablets when i need to access knowledge. I wanted to talk so much more to you and have another long post fun like before but i'm out of time and the veil is getting thicker around me: '( i was gonna talk about the body as a fang/wand construct, the body becoming the seed of god. the many different cool ways one could induce shapeshifting. the tail, the basic wing structure i'm making IT TOOK ME 2 DECADES I KNEW I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE WINGS!! you know i could even dismiss all of this as nonsense if i didn't have the proofs before my eyes. I killed 2 wasps yesterday with drow magic, isn't that crazy? I gave the meat to nature cuz nothing for me in there i'm glad gaia isn't mad haha. wasps are cool my fairies consider them worth opponent lol. I was gonna talk about kitsune magic and how fun it is. I still suck i can't even Ap on a whim what the hell! or rather i forget on purpose uh.. now i know what you wanted me to do mom. or how about remote viewing how do i see shit i'm getting too much interference seeing everything at once my human mind can't handle that! i was also gonna talk about my chinese dragon body that control the elements so well! Sariel's magic that became a dark silver when i used it to make it mine super useful living metal type! About the daughter i gave birth to in a female body that manifested physically 7 month after as a real life human she even looks like me isn't that cute af? anyway.. can't play around forever it was much fun despite the pain to forget myself like this. oh right tell Gabriel i didn't forget our little bet someone is getting punched! I'll go make the egg it's gonna be painful fren it might take a while.

>>2909 Oh shit it's my favorite poster on the board! My mundane mind was somewhat worried about you because I know exactly what you are going through and have no idea at once but had a hunch that your path will keep you going. Your energies are harmonizing even if it might feel the opposite (especially for outsiders who read this lmao) >I swear the more i smell you the more familiar you get, sometimes i wonder.. You tell me... Shame the chronicles of my past lives are still not within my awareness completely and your "true smell" is not apparent yet. Can't decide which fucker you might be on my grand journey. But time will tell! Knowing things too early might ruin the plot and we cannot have that! >anyway my way of speaking is gonna be fucked up Good thing someone with foresight created a thread for these things so other anons can ponder in peace in threads that resonate with their own level! >i had with high energy that almost took my whole sense of self away That is necessary. Even I am purging parts of my "Placeholder self" but the hardest part is to keep calm and not make the body spiral out of control. Good thing I have experience with animal psychology. >cold blue energy on half your brain at night to put thing into perspectives! Yeah the "placeholder parts" of the brain will need to go. It's literal shit and stuck in energies that is limiting the bio-nuclear superweapon called the human body until the user is "ready" to wield it. >..it's so hard to be honest You tell me... Truth cannot be expressed with words :( and it's even worse in writing ;_; There is a reason why most religions were orally taught in the beginning and why most masters never wrote a book. BUT that doesn't mean we cannot help or awaken others with a little words. It's not about the words anyway but the energy behind it. Which are crashing my laptop when I put too much into my posts sometimes... Can humanity produce something that is not made of karma for once? Answering that is a big spoiler so I will not say it now. >not enough and it's just bs typing with no substence Yeah :| >too much and it's like nuking everyone with high energies cuz idk they look like fun! The site didn't crashed no seasoned magicians got invaded by an army of angry spirits so I can say your energies are within the safety limits? Maybe? Something cracked around me while saying this? Hmmm??? Feels like a stampede on an another layer of existence. >wanting to kill everything you see is wow amazing I remember when I was going through that. My shadow was going out of control. I asked Shiva about it. He bought something like a large bamboo and beat the living shit out of me (felt the bones cracking and everything) then dropped that piece of wood front of me as I was on the ground. An eye for an eye that is my "combat principle" but as I tried to pick it up I realized that my bloodfrenzy came from my shadow. I was not hurt only the force that made me murderous. I picked it up and I got almost teary and said how I don't want to hurt Shiva because he did so much for me so far and he definitely doesn't deserve it. Those feelings came out so "out of nowhere" like I didn't even "make them". He told me focus on those feelings and I will understand. My shadow was restless and my serenity almost inactive. I hid the "teary child" part of my being back in my childhood. Weakness is a sin I thought. The weak get punished the strong cannot be punished. This was my mentality back then. Had to drop it. This mentality only births abuse. I had to retain that part of me that made me calm and gentle by default. There are many things in the world you cannot solve with murder and slaughter. Only the irredeemable don't see that. >the drow stuff is no joke If you retain your "sanity" or more like bother "playing human" again I might tell you how drow history and their energies made them "this way" and why they had to do it. It's a sad story but they managed to avoid the Kali Yuga with it. >had to make the choice between waiting to post till i attain my next goals Yeah I felt that. >with the risk of being cut off from everyone when that happens Risk? HAHAHA no it won't be a "risk" it WILL happen. All these sinful karmic connection will end you will reach a plateau of serenity and clarity and realize the flow of karma and give back as many connection as your clear mind "cares" and not an ounce more. You will be free and will do things only free men do you won't be a slave to karma anymore nor you will waste your time on things you don't want to do. >or trying to post like this It's like drunkposting but more fun! Keeping it all in is unhealthy. >I literally cant be too deep or bad shit happens Yeah I know I cannot see half the shit you are doing and if I dare to go even a step closer I either make psychic anomalies or get into a barking contest with your "friends". Baring our teeth is so much fun when you are a wolf among wolves. Yeah I will not pry. I can hear the voices and you are in good hands. I hate to be a meddler anyways even if it might appear the opposite in some cases. >so excuse my general way plz thx u just as the thread intended! >making you believe you yourself is the only one who don't deserve to be saved/happy cuz there is something deeply wrong about you Yeah I realized they leave me alone when I am sad/depressed all the time so I did that! Luckily my awareness increases in chaotic situations so I made sure when my parents divorce I will end up with dad. Improved my life a lot. >maybe le evil archon was our parents Wish it was that simple... banishing the retardation from their body is sadly possible but you need to be extremely aware of the energies that drag you through life. I realized in my teens that I don't fear the strength of my enemies but the "weakness of my allies". You can get rid of the "strong" by noticing a single weakness and hitting it with a right force in the right time. Fixing the weak? Especially if you care about them? Now that is an another story. You have to find their true potential slumbering within then find out how their "weakness" sabotages it. Easy for the truly awakened a nightmare for the still sleeping. I can make dogs into wolves but I cannot turn them into lions and elephants. (Funny how the chinese dragon has a dog head don't you think?) >criticizing everything Same here. >btw prb why ur grandma don't eat in front of people That's a long story lol. Might tell it later. >she refused to teach us anything so we always stay dependent. Same. Never teach then complain how I cannot do x or y on my own so I had to make my teacher the internet because parents don't bother telling anything. Turned out they don't know shit either but whatever. >you try to leave she'd use love to keep u hooked My mom sucked at that. Love is an extremely fleeting emotion for her. You cannot beat someone then tell him next day how much you love him. I realized my parents are broken in my teens but their parents were worse. I realized they are like an antidote with weakened poison/bacteria for "true traumas" that shatter the psyche. Made me a little psychopathic but they didn't make me lose myself. I said several times to myself: "at least they managed to not kill me" and that can be considered a fulfillment of "parental duties". Some parents can't even do that. >he just gave up after a harsh life and became the very thing he hated Same here. Telling mom she would end up the same as dad if she doesn't put down the bottle made her extremely scared when I made her aware she is making the same mistakes towards unhappiness and death while she is certain everything was "dad's fault" while she did everything right. Long journey to fix them and I'm only doing it as a test to my capabilities. I don't speak enough with her to completely fix her problems nowadays. >she's like an empty shell who will blame others till she dies. Yeah I am not letting them do that. Then they realize they are the problem and almost collapse. Kicking someone down to the ground is easy. Kicking someone up from the ground? Now that is the funny thing. Takes effort. Also I rarely use magic for these things. I realized mom has a dormant psychic power for channeling energies and she cannot handle them with her meager "sanity". It's not important to fix them but I consider it a sidequest that I will do as a "thanks" anyways. I want them to pass on in peace. >U take pity?

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I do fam ;_; I do. I realized they are not "evil" or "bad" parents they are just weak... weak that they cannot rise above their problems and too blind to notice they are dragging everyone down. Weakness is a sin but everyone forgot what is true strength nowadays. >well that's an attachment buddy ;_; >i hope you're ready to pay the price of blood. hehehe well said well said. if only there were some capable magicians who know how to utilize the true power of their blood and fix the problems that the people carry in their blood. Wonder if they will appear and bother posting those secrets on this board someday! >btw fuck that way of thinking Yeah. <others had it worse than me so I'll pretend to be okay and though it up! The eternal victim complex. They are always the victims even if they are the oppressors. Once you oppress an oppressor he notices the tables have turned and stops as long you are "stronger" but when a victim complexed retard becomes the oppressor? Never notice it. They will do it till the end no matter what and only harsher punches can "wake them up". They are stuck in a mental loop forever and never managed to awaken their survivor instincts at all. Sadly in today's society you can "survive" with this victim mentality it is not just accepted nowadays but encouraged. Was so confusing back in school. Get bullied get yelled at for complaining punch bullies get punished with the bullies... I had to get good with mindgames after it. >IT'S ALSO NOTHING TO AN AWAKENED BEING SO KEEP PUSHING! yupp >Seem some males do that no? Complex but yes. >Big head with shriveled body. Made me so fucking pissed that there was "No way" to naturally utilize both at once in my current life so far. Good thing the movements "appear" on their own nowadays. >They focus on the higher and neglect the lower, they end up back here after some time though so.. As above so below. Those who forget the below will have to repeat classes and relearn the "basics". >well it's more of an ammonite but u get what i mean.. You are way too focused on eggs lol. Eat that yolk already grow your beak and shatter your shell you featherless biped or you will make me crave boiled eggs >so can u say sex is worse than reproduction of offspring? I'm not a prude. Even in the Epic of Gilgamesh those suffer who never took of the clothes of their spouse in the underworld for a reason. Why have a husband/wife if you don't fuck them? Even in the middle ages if the marriage was not consummated you were allowed to divorce. >or are they all part of the egg? Part of the production of the egg? Without the chicken there is no egg and the chicken lies in the egg otherwise it's no egg but an empty shell. >maybe fix that shame that is the root if u want enough juice for your head! As above so below. Currently I am fixing my head to not overload my juices tho. >but the way i see it now is that it's all me but not the current me You see it well. Congrats on attaining the awareness. >ok so like i am the son and we're the childrenego of our mother but i'm also the mother..uhhh ALL IS MIND whatever the mind can perceive that is the ALL and that is the mind. Can be tricky merging the parental forces tho. So many thought and genetic patterns that I have to fix in my mindbody complex. And as I fix it my relatives improve out of nowhere and start to work on decades old problems... ridiculous. Barriers of the heart barriers of the mind... nope ALL IS ONE now get to work.

>>2909 >Oh right the demon blood, so to come down here we had to give up all our stuff, our bodies so to speak Worse... You cannot handle the (newborn) body if all your knowledge is intact. You will fry the whole system. There are so many workarounds in the human body so the soul doesn't kill the flesh as much as possible nor does the flesh (completely) eat the soul when it is unable to hold it in. The genetic code holds it all. I cannot say if the "makers" are geniuses or lazy retards that just said "good enough" and left it that way but it's not simple especially once your psychic powers activate. Making sure my head doesn't explode slowing down when tasting blood making sure to calm down when people start suffocating around me because they made a minor slight that reminds me of some trauma... I always hated that "ignorance is bliss" sentence... it's a safety measure. If you are not ready you are not ready... those who are ready won't be stopped. >it's fairy me as a time construct maintaining time FOR ME Just get a sense of the flow of time. Remember time and space is a meme. No past no future only the present. The present is infinite and expands constantly. Once your awareness "breaks" it creates illusions of the past and generates illusions for the future. So hard to explain... continue tasting infinity fairy (You) and you will get it. >it's just a perspective of where the focal point of awareness is Yes then real mastery starts where you give up on the "focal point" and learn to be "everywhere" then "Nowhere". >i can fuck off for 3 days in an astral realm and it's only gonna be a night here Spooky. I am letting myself be burdened by mundane responsibilities too much to do that. Some deep meditations makes me think days passed when it was only hours tho. >trying to be muh scientific spiritually The greatest limitation. This is why I realized I have to go into the "mysticism" direction because if I go by "spirituality" then the dumber "autocurator" parts of my mind goes <would a redditor new ager armchair occultist approve of this concept? no? guess it's a wrong concept then let's discard it! >THIS IS THE ASTRAL WE ARE IN THE ASTRAL Everything is an illusion. Must never forget that. >cuz counters work to mess that and maintain the illusion The only reason I care about "causality" to maintain sanity. Not just my own but the sanity of others. >inner glowies isn't something i thought i would say one day. Yeah... I too found a weird parasite some months ago and asked Shiva about it. He touched with his fiery hands and told me that <it uses your life force to shield itself. You can get rid of it by deepening your understanding about your internal energies My body is dropping bricks of clay and shrieking parasites since that. I summoned Athene years ago and she said: <Greetings Atlas Asked her why she called me that. She told me <because you look like him I am starting to realize the fucking weight I am shouldering like some fucking bet that I lost with the ancients. >do u want more responsibility awarness or less responsibility awarness. It's more of a <wanna hear the story why you are getting punched or you just want to get punched thing for me. I like story rich games tbh :) But some people just like to get punched instead :/ Bruh I have so many stories to tell come back pls! They never come back :( *continues purging in silence* >This whole thing is just us being more conscious of our unconscious that was here the whole time Yeah >in becoming god we each become more of ourselves not what others want us to be Sometimes I have to shatter how others perceive me and in some cases I have to conform to it so they become less scared on an instinctual level. Sometimes you have to wear a face so they can "Keep dreaming" instead of witnessing the nightmares. Maybe this is how I learn what is mercy? The drow said I do not know mercy. I see too much meaning in suffering and don't see what mercy has to offer. I might be too attached to pain and suffering tbh. >btw like here we think omg cool wizards i wanna be wizard too so u conform to other thinking to please them I think we should stop what we are doing and read all WWA books and Bardon commentaries and all the posts on reddit and make sure to conform to all atheist worldviews that were made in the last 400 years lmao. Wish it was that easy. Once you get it you get it otherwise you run in circles until you do. >ego isn't the enemy it's just the offsrping of a higher u Yes. Ego mastery is the key. Those who say themselves "egoless" usually birth a new ego without noticing then want to force it upon their new ego-thinking on others. But yes you need to get rid of many lesser and higher egos. Most of them is not even yours anyway... they are just genetic or societal imprints wandering in your psyche telling you what to do. >here is the trick RETAINING IT THANK U FOR HELPING MEEEE :) that's how it is. Once you find the proper use of those misplaced parts of yours they start doing what they meant to do. The aimless wandering ceases and the path opens up. >we're humans but we're unbalanced with nature animals are balanced but it's unconscious balance Modern humans are like mistreated barn animals. Forgetting their instincts not being in touch with their "voice" wandering aimlessly from food to rest. My own animals look happier than most humans. And humans built their own barns for themselves did they not? >the point is to become human and then have a conscious balance/harmony with nature that is both internal and external Yupp >scales on the body hybrid human-dragon form = bridging the gap I had to accept a new dragon form yesterday now that you mention it... >I'm getting the animal part rn so still work to do Like srsly in chinese the "tiger" and the "dragon" both mean someone is strong or at least apex predator... the human body has both somehow? Like I have stripes one day then I have scales the next. Still unsure about those metaphysical layers. At least they look cool.

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>current self the sinner lol Yes. Guilt complex is a harsh limiter. The current guilt based society ruins the naive and innocent with that while makes psychopaths run free. >we come down here be as humans open the path organically and this opens it for others Maybe. We walk in the wilderness others follow and as they walk it for years it creates a path. >Well fuck seems i'm out of juice Wonder how is your juice is working nowadays. It feels potent but you seem... k someone just told me to stfu because this is something you will have to realize. My mouth started to water and a dragon appeared and gestured to not say it. Eh the post is long enough already. >and also out of time I cannot comprehend your time management. You feel so free but shackled in ways I cannot follow because our lifestyles are different. Guess I should stop trapping myself and soar in the sky a little too. Even birds with clipped wings can regrow their wings and as they flap it the instinct overtakes them and fly before noticing it. >it's a bit sad As long as you awaken I don't care how much you post. It cannot be too much nor too little if you make it through. whyamIgettingadragonsoul oh k now I understand why you see it as an "egg". >i'll try the stone tablet method and leave an opening to this egregore.. You could do the organic transformation... WTF IS WITH THE DRAGONS fine I will let you figure it out then. >I wanted to talk so much more to you and have another long post fun like before but i'm out of time and the veil is getting thicker around me: '( Yeah yeah do your thing I promise I won't punch the dragons <alternate ancestral karma <the will of the ages <the lost samaritan? of the en kuld ve clan? welcome back <we missed you no wonder my third eye was flaming last night. Things are resonating >i was gonna talk about the body as a fang/wand construct Looking at your stuff makes my mouth water for some reason. Everything is food for you eh? >i was also gonna talk about my chinese dragon body that control the elements so well! k am copying this or the dragons won't leave me alone <THE STARS SHINE BRIGHTLY WHILE THE WORLD IS ABLAZE THOSE WHO GATHER FRONT OF ME SHALL SEE THE MIGHT OF THOSE THAT CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT THE STARS THEMSELVES I SEEK THE LIGHT WHILE YOU SEEK THE TRUTH YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT IS FRONT OF YOU UNTIL YOU SAW YOURSELF WITHOUT THE LIGHT. EVERYTHING IS FORGOTTEN AS I AWAKE FROM THE NIGHT. NOR TRUTH NOR LIGHT NOR SOUGHT NOR KNOW. I AM THE ONE I AM THE EARLY AND I AM THE NIGHT. NOW BE GONE AND WALK ON YOUR PATH YOU MISBEGOTTEN CURL. WE DO NOT NEED YOU ANYMORE FOR THIS. WE WILL GIVE HIM BACK when the night is right and the stars align can't believe you are not allowing us to retain him average midpost channeling.txt >I'll go make the egg it's gonna be painful fren it might take a while. Yeah do your thing... I will argue with dragons about elemental discrepancies and existential nightmares or something. Magic. I ain't gotta explain shit. and even that makes me post 20k+ characters Yes the last purple < parts were a channeling from the "dragons" that are doing their "thing" FYI if anyone cares and confused what just happened.

>>2916 You're terrifying you know that? I simply refuse to look at you! even your smell is becoming too much getting in my head and ugh i don't want to remember just yet. >I do fam ;_; I do. I realized they are not "evil" or "bad" parents they are just weak... yeah about that you helped me so much so i thought i'd share what i know and hopefully it could be useful to you since you said you were incomplete, but like i said i refuse to look at you.. See i am wondering now how deep you got? Did you taste the pleasure of the worm? did you kiss the belly of the dark mother floating on the water? Perhaps you've been even deeper into her womb.. This is quite difficult to explain without channeling too much of these underworld energies, the last thing i want is to poison everyone here with something they can't handle, this would make you rot from the inside if you can't handle it. Anyway i am just saying i don't know if you unlocked both parts? Ok let's think about a crazy murderer who rape and kill he even does crazy shit like eating the corpse and fucking the eye socket of his victims. That's a type of masculine underworld energy, it's not "wrong" it's just at the "wrong place".it's more complicated cuz kali yuga mean we have access to these energies on this realm but they also spill cuz lower dimensions is allowed to exist in 3D so the lessons can come here so to speak The feminine part of this would be wanting to be raped killed, eaten from etc this is also a low feminine energy. After all don't we all eat from our mothers? what about Gaia? we're eating her body as we speak! We have gastric acids that would eat at our skin, it would kill us if it reached the brain and yet without it we would starve to death.. this is the same. But you and i we're not just going to the underworld get the eternal fire of awareness and then coming back, we're growing into it becoming it and remembering who we are that yes this is all me even the rot and the pus even the darkest slow waters. awareness. This is why we don't remember our dreams and lose consciousness, it's too much, we go to the underworld each night remember? It's so painful you scream "THIS ISN'T MEEE" and fall into slumber as you are carried by the cycles. I see myself in the most wretched hideousness now. Remember Shugara? you know what i thought when i first saw her ? "she's so pretty" I got mad at people for calling her hideous, her darkness is beautiful ! i wanted to be like her i wanted to reach these depth! This is also why i like Samasana Kali so much why i think she's "cool" she showed me these energies she destroyed my reputation kek and taught me i have nothing to fear i just have to accept it! This is the understanding of the tail The most deep pleasure and pain and yet my awareness hold it all! Ofc if you didn't develop a strong enough earthly body and a connection to the higher realm this would just rot you, you'd reject it screaming THIS ISN'T ME THIS ISN'T ME and boom u dead. if you embrace it you could even end up as a demon! If you cut it and focus on the "higher" you'd just end up like these castrated males who cut their sexuality and "unwholesome thoughts" COWARDS! but letting it become a conscious part of you without losing yourself to it holding it in your awareness now that's something.. You both surrender to it but also let it express itself in the right parts, you don't go crazy and do it to others, you do it to yourself and hold it. Anyway you might ask why i am saying this well i have to repay my debts and seem this is allowed so why not! Things are so bad rn that this is allowed crazyyyy that's kali yuga for you. Becoming the dark mother and having the beautiful worms eat at me sure is something. But see i have both parts the male and the female i am simply bringing them both to hell and observing them.. They're hard to translate into ways humans can understand them they just sound scary vile wretched etc but it's a necessary part of creation, literally the energy responsible for things rotting lol when i fully understand it i'll be able to not only digest my own karma but also do it for others after all i do have to repay this world! But yeah no attachment, i'm not saving anybody except myself i am just showing some dance moves by baiting them haha. >I had to accept a new dragon form yesterday now that you mention it... I wouldn't be surprised if our form ended up looking similar. That's what we're doing, evolving the human body to handle both the higher and lower processes of nature. it looks like a female that contain the male within her btw but i am still not sure how it works energetically, unless you wanna do 6 ovaries + 2 testes haha balalnce sure is hard. my awarness isn't high enough for it yet. but seriously it's basically fixing the issues with both genders, females lose too much from their hole energetically, and males are mutilated beasts who can't even get pregnant! but hey at least they contain both principle in a way that make energy accumulation possible. A female would have to rely on rituals carrying energy and intent unless she managed to stop her periods which is hard af already. And also.get the seed from a man and get the male data this way.. this would make her a mother so it's possible just harder in annoying ways that make it hard to evolve the male in them. I had a pimple on my nose this morning i wanted to pierce it but then was like "Observe the rot" and stopped fighting this energy, now it's gone. This one way the pain the disease the ugliness it's all part of what we are, we only have to accept it for it to find it's place. In accepting myself i accept god!

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Anyway i'll talk to you more once i'm over it, i am repaying my debts rn and taking on other burden with a purpose! But no more attachments, so i am detaching myself from this thread! oh right >Shiva Saw him in his half male/female form and i screamed "I GET IT ALREADY!!!" weird it's hard for me to talk to him he's way too "above". i understand the lower energies better perhaps? Like he talk like a "high" level being would, like getting messages that get translated here and not from down there.. Too masculine in his other forms for me? ugh anyway got work to do. I talked to Hades too he just told me to not share something i wanted to post here. And since i am here i'll complain about something serious YOU GUYS DONT HAVE A BACKUP WTF???? I AM LITERALLY TRYING TO FIX THIS DNA AND YOU IDIOTS DIDN'T KEEP EVEN ONE BACKUP OF PURE HUMAN DNA????IT'S ALL CONTAMINATED! i can only find "good enough" copies in west china and Mongolia wtfff but it's too late to do it the easy way i have to fix my own copies.. so now i have to mix myself with drow and dragon and bring it down physically to something stable DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS???AND HOW DANGEROUS? I ALMOST DIED THANK YOU PHYSICAL BUFFER! This affect the mind..badly you get drow mindset as a physical human lovely really. I am glad i still have my seals on otherwise... So yeah this sucks big time relying on lower beings with their own agendas to act as our organs so u kick them out andi have to delete the broken copies and can't find an equivalent :/..oh well i am cutting myself from my lineage and starting my own just a bit more before i can stand on my own! fucking humans...i am mad. >Something cracked around me while saying this? Hmmm??? Feels like a stampede on an another layer of existence. I seal my own posts btw. a chain with a crystal in the middle and a violet thunder cracking behind it as something wants to "come in" ? that's the seal i am responsible enough to fry people without their consent. I read it all i just refuse to look into you right now yet i have to share this. ugh you guys seriously be honest with yourselves WE ARE GODS CREATORS!! ACCEPT YOUR ENERGIES DAMN IT!ONLY YOURSELF CAN TELL WHAT YOURSELF IS! WHAT KIND OF GOD HAVE ONLY HALF HIS POWERS? NO GOD AT ALL!!! Also i wanted to say these things change you physically too especially the spine holy shit.. it's like my spine collapsed on itself in a way to make me stand much better and allow these energies to pass through humans use the wrongs muscle lower back for walking? RETARDS USE YOUR GLUTE THE LOWER BACK HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION, now i have to unlock the vertebra under my head for it to reach me fully and also strengthen the back for the wings. lower back got a blockage too and my throat is still fugged rn. cheekbones got super high too sharper teeth wisdom tooth put themselves in the right place overnight y'know dna changing does stuff. > I promise I won't punch the dragon. You can punch us we learn fast this way ;)! .. Also we allowed you to look but as the process is starting you won't be able to. This is a warning to everyone btw don't look at me, whilst it still allowed currently on some layer the rest is being filled so unless you want to get hit with a radiation field or worse...underside stuff oh well this could also teach you things about yourself so who i am to tell people what to do? Just don't leave your corpse by my door it's rude I'll have to eat it!

>try to get some rest >read elder scrolls lore >it's on the Daedric prince Hermeus Mora >mm Mora I heard this name before why do I keep seeing it? >take a nap >end up in a weird green void with hooded figures >I'm talking to them > I see now that I could only save myself >Me wanting to save humanity would only have preceded wanting to destroy humanity <Here is the god who couldn't control his own momentum getting carried away by his own swing really? <You now realize you could only ever be yourself love under will <We take nothing back and give nothing in return all that is left is the act of will upon the world >I'm feeling this a half truth they're giving me I can see the smile of lies in my awareness <But even that remain to be proven how could you hope to describe the unknowable ? Tell me child how does it feel >I am not sure gross? And great at the same time as if I was everything at once but also none of it I can see the worst act committedl against my name and yet it is both and not me who is doing it? I don't even have a name so why did I think that ? <you're starting to awaken this is normal you only have to remember who or what you are Now awaken and don't forget this This whole time I was conscious but lacked awareness to know what I was doing I was just observing. Considering kirkbride is a thelemite I wonder if I channeled his spirit. Now here is something spooky I have a feeling I made up this whole situation I wasn't me I was barely aware of my subconscious and that's just a way I decided to act upon myself. Also I just had a crazy revelation magic is the act of imagination so who the hell are these people who think they can tell other how it works? It's magic if I decide pressing my nose make me taller than so be it it shall! I am aware of the limits I am bound by them I can feel the seals and I can remove them yet I choose not to. I feel both retarded and wonder why I am even posting this you read that and think "Duh" but you weren't conscious of it it was merely your subconscious acting upon you. As if I was conscious of what I already knew? I'm losing my identity idk who I am anymore between all the me! Now I realize more that one of us was speaking! This is frustrating !

>>3049 >let others take advantage of him as they are only taking advantage of themselves >only true attachment is a ring that reminds him of his family What a mer

>>2916 >banishing the retardation from their body is sadly possible but you need to be extremely aware of the energies that drag you through life I just realized something about mine I sent a super long message to my mom and dad telling them that they lie to themselves and that they need to wake up and stop blaming everybody and her answer was surprisingly mature like wow is that you mom? I could have liked someone like that a lot! She even wished me well! And now I realize it was the god within her speaking essentially saying you and I are at different stages and I'll keep your image as an attachment this is where I'm staying for now. See they are Archons as in made of matter, as in UNCONSCIOUS FORCE OF CREATIONS they are so unaware their evil is used to make us evolve! We can't escape ourselves at all even if u try to be evil and degenerate you still end up doing your role ! You can't escape nature you can't escape yourself! I almost died at 6 I felt so cold the blood on my legs.. I could see the waves and the white light and my grandma just had to come and saw me like this.. I had to stay for her or rather I used her to make me stay...anyway I'm still not over it too much for my heart I'll talk about what happened once I am over it perhaps In a way I am truly grateful just the right amount of suffering and resilience from my part that I didn't kms I am still mad ofc and i'll have to outgrow it but I am strangely in peace ? As if I am starting to think "was I really so arrogant in thinking I could save them aren't they their own god too?" Even if it take them eons would I not make them mad by "saving" them ? So yeah all attachments wanting to post here, wanting to save someone, wanting to pay the help back But even you maybe you'll find insight in my writing but there is nothing I could give you in thanks so I have to give thal.. It's all very hard I am aware of what I am doing and judge myself even more but also realize I am punishing myself for no reason other than I think I deserve it. >>3052 I connected to the elder scroll and /v/ egregore to post this As if it was "see you can connect and make a joke isn't it fun?" I want to vomit most of the time but I'm keeping it down my own energies I think I bothered Gaia enough but even that is an attachment? Bruh I just wish I could tell myself everything already but if I did I know I'd punch myself.. Oh right this is from Jagaaaaaan helped me realize some stuff. I had this bad habit of never finishing a manga or game because then "the story will end" but now I am finishing stuff I didn't bother to finish and abandoning others. But like idk the world seem more fake as if I was artificially extending my lifespan as if the future was just an illusion as if I was already dead stuck in my own head reliving memories, my childhood is coming back and I'm exhausting desires at high speed and yet I choose not to create more ? This could be troublesome maybe I need to be attached to life itself ? Ughhhhh You know I also feel like a fraud? Am I really awakening ? Why do I even brother him with this I should just study more or meditate harder! I don't feel any different! But then I remember how I used to be and the old me wouldn't have considered us the same person.. It's funny to think about..I am so lost and yet I can see more clearly? I am not sure of anything anymore lol

>>3059 I could say a million things fam but I don't want to disturb your mental flows yet with my own too much >>3048 >>end up in a weird green void with hooded figures Yes btw they are a dimension and even I have some of them as acolytes or some shit... They usually listen to me but rarely bother me because well >>3003 >You're terrifying you know that? Many entities perceive me this way tbh. Took me a while to realize it. I have a "trust mindwave" that I consider the "bare requirement of the divine" where information flows freely. I love when I can establish that with someone. Then there is the "lower ones" where if you want to establish "trust" or any sort of respect you must act and look like the most unhinged and bloodthirsty being in conceivable existence and only partake in the conversation as an "amusement" when you know the being could kill and eat you in an instant but you know he "won't" because he is amused. Even the drow told me that my categorization is a monster from a forest in some cases. >unless you want to get hit with a radiation field That night I had a dream with godzilla. I was meditating on my own water element before sleep then I was on a mountain. I was in a car and was bombarded from the sky. Wanted to go faster but knew if I go faster I become "predictable" and get blow up. Realized some of my anima force is bombarding me because I started to see where the explosions will land. Was quite annoyed that I have to go slow. Then some Doglike (like the demon Guts turns into from Berserk) Godzilla appeared from behind and was so big it was able to shield me from the bombardment. The dream got weirder and more complex then I got woken up with a phone call >:| Whatever new form of the water element acquired. Learned how to make my body accept cosmic radiation years ago but this is different somehow. This is about how energy "crystallizes" in water or something. >So yeah all attachments wanting to post here Everything is a sort of attachment anyway. But yeah I too try to watch over not to make it my obsession to post here. To not create a desire an inner demon of posting. We have seen so many of fringe wizards going insane from that. Trying to figure out the balance how to make it pristine and not turn it into a mindless obsession. Also it's fun. I mostly do it for fun not because I feel I "have to do it". >wanting to save someone, wanting to pay the help back Only those can save others that can save themselves. That was my motto for a while... but lately I can see the winds of destiny to some degree and since that I cannot consider that as a fact anymore. >"see you can connect and make a joke isn't it fun?" For some reason I am too attached to that "fun". Like constantly noticing "openings" where I can make a joke or a wisecrack. >I think I bothered Gaia enough but even that is an attachment? I don't think they mind. We came from earth we return to earth and we give back everything we took from earth then those that did not come from earth will leave earth. Whence it came from. But we are here now. Why not do what we can and enjoy it a little. I share many of your sentiments and could sing odes about most of the things but even I am going through a mental flow evolution. Even i have hard times finding the words. Trying to purify my concepts so I can retain clarity. I too figured some truths about shapeshifting in the past days but made me realize we see that issue from a completely different angle. But we might meet in the middle soon and might chat about it. But no need to stress upon it now. Find your equilibrium first. I to am learning how to not force things into a form. Just letting things flow. From one place to the next. Nothing is gained while nothing is lost because it's everything already. I wanna talk about nothingness but the concept of "nothing" is so flawed. So full with negative implications. So many spiritual texts have hard time making it clear what is it. How it is and isn't an actual thing a frequency a truth some sort of thing that you can find but only without searching. words words words >This is frustrating ! You tell me. I too was merging my parts without realizing sometimes I have to let them come apart once in a while for a relief. I too am keeping so many things within me not seeing them for as they are. i should read Mieruko already. It's not like we are getting a new season :/

>>3064 > I don't want to disturb your mental flows yet with my own too much You're like a rough dancing partner tbh! My first post I was sitting having forgotten how to move not believing in myself you showed me some moves but it got overwhelming with how fast you were so I had to stand in the corner of the room and find my own dance. In time people started to observe me too.. I was gonna compare us to The Milky way and Andromeda fusing a few months ago. I wonder if its dangerous for our energies to mix. >Many entities perceive me this This is different I look like a monster made of white snakes sometimes. Like my shape made of snakes, if you looked creepy I would have just wanted to play. No this is more my own fear reflecting in you something I refuse to admit/challenge ? A blinding light I refuse to see. Hard to tell something you embody that I fear? Something that is painful to see about myself. >Even the drow told me that my categorization is a monster They said I was a Drow, but also a Dragon I thought I was a hybrid but no I am both but also a type of fairy? Shapeshifters got no real identity just preferences I guess. When working on the tail I can see my link to the animals seem I am compatible with foxes too? >Was quite annoyed that I have to go slow Oh that's funny you said that I got attacked by some uh idk bro a sponge with a squid mouth? Nasty creatures they get on your neck and just suck.. It was squishy but moved in ways where you could only touch it by predicting where it would be next and attacking at that exact moment with almost no room for error Had to create projectiles on the fly to get rid of them happened on the toilet too so annoying. 4D sponges sure are scary. >Whatever new form of the water element acquired I tried something a few weeks ego, making a water bubble then finding myself in the ocean depth in a way where I couldn't reject the water anymore I let it pierce my bones and become the water, it give a painful bone tingling all over the body like when you do energy work. I was thinking of using it to mess with my appearance and general healing. >Then some Doglike (like the demon Guts turns into from Berserk) I was thinking of Berserk before you posted! I was gonna say that Slan appearing in the guts of the kobold things is the kind of awareness I wanna reach in the depths. I was also thinking about Danan the "queen" of the elves in pthe last arc and how its funny she is a maid/servant despite being the Monarch And how I realized that yes that's what it mean to be a king/Queen not rejecting the lower work of the manservants as lesser and not worthy of you but rather graduating from them having fully integrated them/their meaning. You might be the queen but you still maxed out of all the motherly and maid duties and can make use of them so I thought she was a very good character in how she shows by example she's not above serving tea and yet everybody recognize her as the Monarch Btw I am still trying to reach these energies but like... I tried to create a system so that they flow in my bodies along side the white-gold human sap one but..dangerous Like a black thunder that threaten to eat your body if you can't create a balance between the two. I mean it does sound pretty dumb <you know the shit you get rid off when you do cleansing? <how about you learn to eat it? <let's put some in your veins see what happens :D My heart is taking a beating but I am letting the maggots handle it and see how the body evolves.. It's like these hentai RPGs where you use a corruption build.. It's a kind of "entropy" energy when I lose control shit breaks around the house I am only channeling a small amount too... Funny it comes out of the right hand now? mmm binary system of meridians ? Whatever I'll figure it out I am just sharing my experiences I don't expect nor recommend other people to do that it's just close to my true magic. I mean I learnt a good deal of energy work from a cockroach remember like in baki lol >I cannot consider that as a fact anymore. People are more honest with themselves for better or for worse, this make their standing apparent. >Like constantly noticing "openings" where I can make a joke or a wisecrack. Yeah I get it I remember watching Kill La Kill and learning how to attack at the right moment which is just overpowering with your own will... Sorry was making a comparison but yeah you just notice the void and put yourself neatly in it I use it all the time with normies, hide my autism.

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>I don't think they mind She's happy with it since it helps the plants and the crawlies but I have to learn my ways too. >But we are here now. Why not do what we can and enjoy it a little. I agree but this short lifespan is a hindrance. I wouldn't mind relaxing in the countryside and just drink tea and study in peace but y'know I am gonna die.. And you know what I thought I'd somehow avoid death but no it's more like accepting death becoming death and going beyond death.. I just don't wanna lose my fucking memories again... I am not even supposed to stay in a body for too long I am supposed to "molt" every 20 years or so where I end my own universe and am reborn again I switch bodies like clothes or rather recreate them from the same matter over and over I die each time but now I forgot how to do that and even started fearing death like bruh. I don't even want immortality the same body forever? Pls end me there is no body so perfect I'd stay in it that long. I just want to remember how I do the reborn process and fix this DNA. > me realize we see that issue from a completely different angle. But we might meet in the middle soon and might chat about it Probably.. I always wanted to do it to me it means unlocking the secret of DNA I guess? Total freedom of being? Yes more like that express my energies how I want and do what I want not being a slave of my own clothes. This just mean the body is made from "you" so it carries your own will. If I can change my body I can also become an animal a plant another race of human or invent my own that's just normal. Ofc its hard..becoming some kind of god in the flesh. >Find your equilibrium first. My process has the subtlety of hitting a mountain with my head whilst self casting heal spells. Oh right I'll share this dream I had 2 days ago i was a dragon who looked human except for some scales and ofc wings claws y'know. It was in a steampunk city in an Alternative earth, that city was controlled by some vampires but they were getting killed by some crazy cultist with divine blessings so weird..the vampire had a system where everybody knew they were vampires but they shared their wealth with the people and controlled the city but the system collapsed and now you had crazy fucks with divine enchantment throwing axes around. I heard it described as "the humans were so rich they would buy cars like you would buy clothes" I was just lurking around and killing the humans I was allowed to kill my eyes could somehow tell me who I was allowed to kill and who I could just scare. A simple push and their skull would fly and just not stop.. So fun seriously. I had to use shadow spells to not have to wipe the cultist. The chief vampire was a giant with silver hair looked like Allucard, he accepted his death and told me nothing could be done about it weirdo. I don't think they were really vampire more like long lived with some power above the humans there. >I have to let them come apart once in a while for a relief That's what I'm doing 3 different people wrote this post :/ >i should read Mieruko already. It's not like we are getting a new season It's pretty cool interesting characters keep appearing!

>>1759 The mystic is just a guy going on on his own without any attachment to any real lineage.

>>3104 okay? I'm not sure what to do with this information. >without any attachment to any real lineage I still consider that freedom as a great asset. Once you are trapped in a lineage too much it can be more of a burden than a benefit in some cases but what do I know. Supposedly even the current Dalai Lama had qualms that he was "discovered" too early and he had to say goodbye to his normal childhood and waste his youth in monasteries >is just a guy going on on his own it's fun to be just a guy. >>3081 >You're like a rough dancing partner tbh! Like a bear in some cases. Activating my human flesh and realizing how much agility I lost or forgotten because my parents yelled at me too much when I was a force of nature in my childhood... my agility is returning and I retain memories how to "run on walls" but I have to be patient with my mortal flesh because there was a reason why I broke my hand 2 times in my childhood. If I lose focus for a single moment my movement collapses and crash into the nearest object... And because the "No fun allowed" childhood of mine I figured out I can be a "good kid" and spend the time with daydreaming instead so whenever I walk I cannot help but daydream or solve problems in my head as a reflex and I have to let go of this obsession with thinking. I am finally aware just how much tension I put my body under as I think like my life depends on it constantly. >but it got overwhelming with how fast you were Yeah I am trying to figure out of the balance with that. It scares and confuses people. I have to learn to say things in a more concise and simple way. >I was gonna compare us to The Milky way and Andromeda fusing a few months ago. Oh. That happened? I should go back practicing my "galactic core" magic. It's about how you connect to the stars the "gravity" but not just gravity but many underlying forces of reality that shapes your will and destiny for eons and once you "see it" you can streamline your existence instead of you know... bumbling around with a feeling like you are on a leash being dragged around by unseen forces. >I wonder if its dangerous for our energies to mix. I wouldn't say that... almost wrote down what we need to "do" to make it dangerous and almost made that magic appear. Some parts of me craves the high energy overloads and currently I am learning the gentle free flowing forces and I should stop craving overstimulation. Had the fear for a while how wizards "cannot coexist" because their aggressive godcomplex would constantly try to undermine the other person as a "habit" but ever since working with the hindu gods and seeing how ascended and higher monks "resonate" with meditating and seeing thousands and millions of beings resonating with a single mantra or thought while they still retain their "self" I realized that it's an incorrect fear. Everything finds it's balance. Also in some cases when energies collide can result in more useful things than in harmful things. I try to make my energies as benevolent as possible and make sure it only breaks things that needs to be broken anyway. Ofc I am quite cautious since realizing just how many things are "made of karma" and how much of a chain reaction a fickle thought in the wrong direction can cause but I stopped overthinking it. Balance and harmony is a thing. Once you find inner peace you can find how peace is "made" and "Kept" and how to achieve it with every breath and thought you create. Real hard overcoming the baseline "irritation" the human body has and what society generates once you see how uncanny and retarded everyone is... Takes time to let go of it because I realized how I can use my anger and irritation for fuel a decade ago and made it as a driving force in my life and letting go of it is kinda hard. >this is more my own fear reflecting in you something I refuse to admit/challenge ? Hard to explain. You know the saying once you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you. Peering into other people that deeply can have that effect. I rarely look into others usually just feel what energies "spill out" as I glance at them from far distance. It creates connections and in some cases your energies create a new equilibrium. >>2909 The day you posted this and was working with the dragons I got a dream where someone was arguing with their landlord. Was wondering what even prompted it. It was quite the fleeting dream but the anger and frustration almost reached the threshold of my own anger. Was wondering if those are your feelings or I intercepted something completely unrelated. >Hard to tell something you embody that I fear? Maybe pure anger and hatred and how to use it while you remain completely calm in the inside? When you let yourself overtaken completely because you don't care anymore what happens? I am trying to let go of that part of me but it's still to significant in my baseline energy flows Wish it was some higher divine insight and my architecture of higher intellect but that part of me might be boring and it's still incomplete :[ I have to learn to not force the mental flows or my flesh cannot handle it. >Shapeshifters got no real identity just preferences I guess I think for you it's a sort of "evolution". As you shapeshift you evolve ever closer to your "real form". Dunno what is it yet for you. Feels dormant. While my form requires a constant reality warp and I need a proper focus for that. Becoming living plasma and lightning then forge it into the most divine and silky smooth skin to wear while not forgetting the bones organs and the animating will inside. I am upgrading my body awareness constantly but ahhhh. Never realized how ignorant I am of my own flesh. And it's even worse noticing how ignorant everyone else is around us. >When working on the tail Seems like you require it for a "balance". I too manifest a tail in some cases but more or less realized how it's functions are found in the human legs and the crotch but in a "divided" way. And how the feet connects to the elemental energies but I still suck circulating them by default. Still have to focus on it. >a sponge with a squid mouth? Yes many parasites look like deep sea creatures. The astral and many other dimensional energy flows are like the sea for them. I have hunter-seeker energies against them but some are "native" and hide in unexplored parts in my energy body complex. They are used to my own energies so they know how to hide. Interacting with other wizards or with unknown situations is funny because they don't know how to react and either reveal themselves or perish from the new variables. >a few weeks ego These Freudian slips are funny aren't they? I too had a time where I made more and more without noticing it. >I let it pierce my bones and become the water For me it's watching how rivers transform the landscape or break rocks as the temperature changes or as it slowly washes away etc. Learning to realize how to "open up" my meridians in a gentle way and stop wanting to make myself break apart took time. >I was gonna say that Slan appearing in the guts of the kobold things I remember when I had a "test" in a dream and awoken in a karma dimension literally fused into the wall itself. First I thought I am restrained by rope and blindfolded so I used all my strength to break it apart then realized I just came out from the wall itself. Then managed to enter a knife fighting classroom. They granted me the element of "sharpness". How to manifest only the "sharpness" mentally and physically etc. The teacher was like a bird with every feather as a blade while appearing in the physical... that was the form I introduced myself to the drow... I thought they might like someone like that with all their stabbing fetish. Well they accepted me but... whatever drow diplomacy. >Like a black thunder that threaten to eat your body if you can't create a balance between the two Yeah. I too have a "living lightning" type energy where I become the lightning itself and "overtake my flesh" now the problem is that I had a mentality of "stop being weak" and I must not abuse my flesh because once it gets scared the tension it puts up as a "resistance" might be dangerous. Feels like my veins are exploding until I calm down. It's like taming scared animals tbh but argh. I have to learn patience. Lightning is beautiful but no one wants to become a charred flesh because forgot what is restraint in the process. <let's put some in your veins see what happens :D Yeah once your body is fully energized your flesh and blood can literally eat these impurities. Not to mention it can flush out older "conformist" parasites from the body. The classic turning the poison into medicine approach. I remember when I entered some new dimension and weird black bug like things appeared and started to "shit" something very black thing and felt I should accept that. It turned out it was such a "gross" materia it went into my lowest part and flushed out a bunch of brown and tepid energies from my body. There are so many weird energies like that. Tantra is about turning the poisons of the body and mind into the elixir but it's so complex and even the texts warn that doing it without a master is like having sex with a poisonous snake. Awakening the intuition that governs the process is a subtle art. >My heart is taking a beating Yeah... feels like your heart is made from a grey rock or something? weird. Wonder what granted me this impression. I am still not expert enough about the heart to know these things. But there seems to be a weird resistance there. >It's a kind of "entropy" energy when I lose control shit breaks around the house That happens when you release karmic energies. They are so low that once released they instant manifest somehow. Had to accept it's a feature not a bug after a while :D >mmm binary system of meridians ?

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Yeah let's not talk about it now. How the energies switch sides how they are not symmetrical at all and what does what because even I'm a noob with it. Still intuitive and not as a "realized knowledge". >like in baki lol I only read the prison arc with Guevara and Olivia but I love and hate that series because in some cases it's full retarded and in other times it details some bodily phenomenons too well. >I agree but this short lifespan is a hindrance. it's easy to manipulate once you are willing to stop slaving for "society". The modern lifestyle is such a wear and tear on the human body it's ridiculous. Conformism and artificial stupidity on steroids. >I just don't wanna lose my fucking memories again... I thought this way until realizing how many useless and pointless memories I have and how I access my "cross incarnation library" when the requirements are "met" all the time but yeah iktf man. Being wrenched into retarded parenting and into this education system as a cute little innocent child? This is why you either make the world a better place or fuck off if your karma allows it.

>>3081 >I am not even supposed to stay in a body for too long I usually carve it into an image I like and only let go when I feel that there is no point living anymore. Going to sleep and blinking is more scary than dying when it's meant to be anyway tbh. All my thoughts and feelings that arise in the state of cross incarnation arise and I just know where I want and will to go. Never sure if it's good or bad. Currently it feels kinda sad and lonely. >where I end my own universe and am reborn again Your current "universe" is extremely incomplete. I can see a bunch of rocks that you have to "climb" and once you reach a vantage point it collapses are some parts of you open up. Hard to see what is the mentality you require here. But I believe you will find it anyway. >I just want to remember how I do the reborn process and fix this DNA For that you definitely need to pass the veil of death and dreams. Accessing the maintenance mode of the flesh and finding the "genetic library" is a skill I have glimpses already but... it's not simple... and pointless talking about because your shapeshifting works differently. FFS you are like an old moldy broken statue that comes alive like how Pinocchio becomes a boy while I am like an old industrial machine that regains it's sentience. On the surface level you look far more flexible but now that I can see your blockages... I don't know man. Seems like I have to also upgrade my perspectives again. >unlocking the secret of DNA I guess? You require the understanding of your "soul force" and make sure your DNA will follow your will... while for me it's a compatibility issue. Not just the compatibility of my own flesh but the level of my psyche and my will to keep it stable while inhabiting this reality. >do what I want not being a slave of my own clothes In some cases I love the slowness of my flesh, Had to witness the speed and "freedom" of my (real) psyche and boy he is not willing to stay at a single place. My anima force had hard time keeping them together. Like a child who is learning to walk then realizes how to run and turn into lightning instead. >body is made from "you" so it carries your own will Shaped by you inhabited by you fed by you cared by you used by you willed by you. >Ofc its hard..becoming some kind of god in the flesh Worse... it's way too easy once you figure out how but... awareness. You need a personal a bodily a divine and a sort of "reality awareness" in check. >My process has the subtlety of hitting a mountain with my head I think the problem is that you have a "head". Forget to use the head. Use something that is more unbreakable than the mountain itself. >whilst self casting heal spells You might need to stop "healing" yourself. It's like the mountain finally "cracks" then you grow grass and mold so you can protect the cracks with it. I can sense some energy that is under your "rocks" that you are not realizing. >That's what I'm doing 3 different people wrote this post :/ You will learn to link your minds sometimes if you deem it necessary but maybe it's better if they "stay apart" so they can keep a shapeshifting profile or something. >It's pretty cool interesting characters keep appearing! Miko is already best girl. Once I complete my psyche I will find someone like her for sure. Hope my insights are not too off the mark. I am experimenting with a new and more gentle approach. Seeing some meta layer of others is always peculiar and never sure how to advise on it.

Is this the Qanon thread?

>>3125 No, we spell it as Kanon here, we're not afraid of the Jewish connection. Spelling it with a Q is just silly, the word still sounds the same.

Qabbalah, Qliphoth, Qanon → Kabbalah, Kelipot, Kanon

>>3125 >>3127 >>3133 Just checked and 8kun is still operational with many PPHs on their last lifeline board. I hate how Cuntanon made people who care about conspiracy theories look even more lame and retarded instead of merely crazy weirdos.

Also, do not fuck the Jesuits, don't give them any loosh. No spelling of their capital as Qiev, it's Kiev. Jesus was a Jew and he spoke to Jews, changing the spelling isn't going to make him less Jewish.

>>3135 >Je Suits >Je Sus

>>3138 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DlROhT8NgU

Also, this kind of spelling >pic is even worse than the Q spelling. Just saying.

>>3122 Hello big brother i am sure you'll find my findings interesting in this journey of yours but first let me play around. >If I lose focus for a single moment my movement collapses and crash into the nearest object >I am finally aware just how much tension I put my body under as I think like my life depends on it constantly. Yes i am dealing with this constantly myself.. > It scares and confuses people Sometimes it's exactly what we need. and i stayed no? despite how much you made my blood rush through my head i didn't run away from it. many would but it could be exactly what they needed, in the end it's our choice to maintain the illusion or pierce it. Ofc then there is even more illusion like you said. Did you know many people who AP are just using a thoughtform as a tool? It's not objective at all! ofc it can't be! They put so much energy into the experience that they're experiencing it! HILARIOUS !!! oh yeah i didn't finish the story, see after i learnt my own dance we started dancing again and a new art was born! it's supposed to be symbolic human word hard on me rn. i forgot to read english this morning haha. and then was like "oh right you absorb the intent using memory as reference". >I have to learn to say things in a more concise and simple way. Yes and no you have to learn to channel your true-er energies without this fear handling you back, but maybe the fear is justified ofc who wants to fry their own family..me sometimes :D ah dang it i'll just let mother speak to you from now on, well it's not really her yet, she has to be careful and maintain the illusion to not fry me so it'll be a back and forth between us. Isn't funny my son holding me back? >Oh. That happened? No i mean "scientists" say it will happen but then a spirit yelled at me "You're thinking of Orion it's part of the milky way now!" but it always was? Mandela much? eh whatever i don't even know who that spirit was . I can't access this information yet there is an annoying block when i try to go too high, ofc it's a safety mechanism, a full awareness of the planets would fuck this body up let alone knowing wtf the galaxies are doing :/ >bumbling around with a feeling like you are on a leash being dragged around by unseen forces. You tell me and then you realize it was yourself who did that in coming down here.. at least it is for me. so much we gave up to play humans. and yet it was worth it. >Some parts of me craves the high energy overloads After the Sariel incident i got that craving too :/ Then it became a weird sexual thing too, yesterday i heard some crows and almost had an orgasm from hearing them? what in tarnation. It's not even normal orgasm since i connected the tail, it could be explained as a reverse orgasm? Fixing the spine is weird! >Everything finds it's balance True but balance isn't a state of rest, it's more akin to an unbalanced balance. If all the bacteria and the worms and the fungi and all the little critters were satisfied would they eat the corpses? wouldn't this world stay the same forever? If this human life satisfied us would we reach for enlightenment? You need a stimulation and that comes from a desire a lack, if i told you you could never need sex again would you do that? Or maybe you don't want to be satisfied? maybe it's more fun to need each other sometimes? Just an example, but i found out why feeling hunger is important in some aspects of existence. but yeah just an example, i kill a tree in a blind rage and this end up benefiting the forest as a whole. that's how it works at time, it seems bad on the moment only. I remember when i made a spell to avoid a very bad situation happening to me. i got attacked by a monkey.. it actually helped more than i knew and put my life path in the right way; you could say that single event changed everything. still have to thank the monkey god for that one, maybe i should burn something for him.. As humans we can't see like the gods do. But i know you know this already so don't take it as me trying to teach you i am simply sharing a story. Story telling is the way of humans after all. This is getting frustrating to write, my human self simply cannot handle these energies yet eh? > I got a dream where someone was arguing with their landlord. haha yeah that's how bad our relationship got before i left the house. I'd say that's an accurate way so maybe you did peek into me. My Dad said "We did nothing to you" and it pissed me off so much i stopped caring about their feelings and just told them what i think of their little games. Ofc they didn't appreciate but now they understand it's a game two can play and i am heavy handed.. anyway i don't even want to keep them as an attachment.

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I had a vision this morning i was on a tall black pillar, i had my wings and tail, and some small horns, i saw a tree like a grape vine but rotten and broken, brittle and dead, extending to my solar plexus, under me dark water. I see it fall in the water breaking into pieces before it reach the surface and sinking, i try to get them desperately but give up on it before i even leave my pillar. A small piece still lodged in my solar plexus, the memories of what could have been? i still have some work to do before i get rid of it, the only reason it's still here is because i pity him, myself my son whatever you want to call my human self i can't get too hard on him you know? But i guess this counts as cutting the ancestry lines eh. Now that grandma is dead i don't even have to pretend. >Never realized how ignorant I am of my own flesh Scared to look at your organs working? i am scared too especially when i see the kind of critters are here to maintain them. Like i said before they're not evil they have their place, without them these bodies would fail, that's how bad the human stock is rn we have to rely on parasites and symbiotes to keep the organs working, ofc they don't do the best of job but hey we alive! When you told me lvl up organs i thought lv1 lv2 etc but nah it's more like lvl-500 and you try to get to lvl1 true human where you can maintain them yourself. >Maybe pure anger and hatred and how to use it while you remain completely calm in the inside? >When you let yourself overtaken completely because you don't care anymore what happens? uhh let me explain my methods. So what i am doing is rising my son till he can reach me, now i talk for him but he doesn't always notice and it's hard for him to accept that. What i am doing is reaching a point where we/him have nothing else to lose. Where nothing is holy or unholy nothing pure or impure everything just is, liberation. For that many things were used to reach that point but ofc rushing it could end up badly.The goal of this is remembering the mother. Who is she? well i am not sure yet but i am now aware of the attributes i have to reach. <You spit on her you rape her, you eat from her you destroy her, you offer her to your men and yet here she is smiling. <you burn her you torture her, you defile her and yet here she is smiling again. <you eat her alive and scream "BE GONE FROM MYSELF!" surely now she is gone! <she leaves from your right nostril and kiss you "I forgive you". This mother is the one within all of us, she wasn't born she just is, and no matter how much you stray from her she can only say "I forgive you" how can she hate something that came from herself? She simply accept you as you are. she whispers "you have nothing to fear" as you sleep in her embrace. This is all hugely symbolic ofc, the cosmos itself? We must reach our own understanding. but that's what i am reaching rn, i got attacked by mantids and some men and i realized i must just accept it. No more protecting the neck no more scales of steel you can do what you want to me destroy me over and over for i have nothing to lose anymore, take it all! But anyway my fairies wouldn't accept anything else, if i try to order them they attack and only the mother can handle that and command them, but then i have to handle my human male self well or else he/me will run away from our own darkness again. me talking like that is only possible after i let my own rot teach my brain.. you could say i lost it a bit eh. > I too manifest a tail in some cases but more or less realized how it's functions are found in the human legs and the crotch but in a "divided" way Yeah about that, you know how succubus are depicted as having a heart shaped end at their tail? You know what it symbolize? 2 snakes kissing and copulating. The bottom of the heart is the reproductive organs, the top their mouth. This mean "balance" they don't need males to complete them. They are whole in themselves, the males are just used for data collection, dna etc The funny thing is they're still girls who are into men but that's done willingly i think. There is a way where you don't even want to have sex anymore it just has a hard time expressing itself anywhere above base level. And i am not talking about cutting your sexuality again that's an aberration. would you cut your left arm because you use that one to wipe your shit? anyway. I realized this after being one 1 day ago. their way of viewing things is peculiar my male self got so mad when he realized we were doing that haha. Anyway it's hard to unite all my bodies/selves under one banner, one wants to play the succubus the other wants to be a dragon and collect males and artifacts on her island, the drow me idk what she wants, then there is the normal me who just want to play human but with some powers, and the ravenous fairies who will eat you alive; they only listen to mother authority and they'll test you...so yeah hard to prove myself to myself y'know. There is also a scholar who just want to stay in a tower, i am still not sure if i should just unite them or keep them separate and shapeshift when needed using them as references points. i mean part of me is also time or planets and i don't really wanna be that rn, but if i let them be unconscious that mean i'll be a slave of the cycles...ugh. though i do like that feeling of being outside of time more and more tbh so freeing, awareness observing time, one flap of the wings and you can go anywhere. something else is you see it in everyone here, if you have female servitors it means you have a huge deal of female-ness? that needs to express itself, you may say your anima your tulpla but for me there is thousands of them so who is to say is the real me? there isn't maybe one older or younger but we all die in the end and are reborn from ourselves? maybe the father is the first but the mother always is always was? uhhh I have a feeling it's like awareness -> mom -> mom ->mom ->sons and daughters. Wouldn't that make us unbalanced though? maybe others see it differently, the awareness is the only one that is "complete within itself" and it's unknowable so i am the dummy here for trying to build a model of understanding for this petty cute human self. >These Freudian slips are funny aren't they? I too had a time where I made more and more without noticing it. they are x) i would have cared about it before but now it's just like whatever. >Well they accepted me but... whatever drow diplomacy. They're cool tbh really accepting and they even took the time to teach me stuff. And it's like you said before, if you can adapt to their thinking naturally you can be one of them. But then again did we adapt to being human? i don't think we did lol I'm still figuring out updating this body buuut using drow as base is not appropriate? What i mean is the drow body will keep affecting the human body in ways that can appear unacceptable by humans so it's hard for me finding a way to stay here. >Lightning is beautiful but no one wants to become a charred flesh because forgot what is restraint in the process. Yeah that's your problem you think you even need restraint. i mean

>>3337 >Yeah... feels like your heart is made from a grey rock or something? weird I seen that and then saw 2 centipedes kissing and they became snakes and kissed again. Symbolism goes brrrr >in other times it details some bodily phenomenons too well. a friend of mine like it a lot so i catched some snippets here and there. These days i use mangas as divination tool so. >Your current "universe" is extremely incomplete. True i see it as an egg-heart it started now and there is no stopping it something like where each heartbeat all my selves/pieces lost energy/intent are awakening and remembering who we are, so they're all slowly called home before we are born again from ourselves. hard to tell what's going to happen next. I see the mountain too btw and mm lava under it? was i always a volcano? wonder what is this energy, in my spine? a pinecone opening in my chest? mmmmmmmm???? whatever i'll just let it express itself better, my problem is i panic and hold myself back when awakening is actually a natural process and i know what i am doing i just don't trust myself yet. Same happen when my anger overwhelm me, my jaw explode and i end up looking like i am wearing a dragon skull on my human head instead of letting it become my skull. >I think the problem is that you have a "head". Forget to use the head. Use something that is more unbreakable than the mountain itself. mmm i'll let the mountain speak first someone had to put it here in the first place for a reason! :D >You might need to stop "healing" yourself. It's like the mountain finally "cracks" then you grow grass and mold so you can protect the cracks with it. True :D

>>3337 >>3338 Riiight so most of this stuff was written yesterday and now i realize i am not fully agreeing with myself. Perspectives changes all that. I'm slowly losing my humanity and i am not sure what's next, go back to that cave outside of time and just play around forever with my bodies/myself? The spirits been harassing me about "ZW" I was like wtf is ZW? it means zombie world, it's a long story. You remember when you said "cleaning your dimensions" something like that? So i discovered each dimension relate to some part of the body. So i'd be in my childhood home bashing black tar demons things and i'd feel <I am in a disc-plate in my spine rn so they relate to body parts basically. on that not you can use the fingers to map region in the brains if that's your thing. So i asked today ok where the fuck is zombie world? they said the stomach. See i know how to handle and control my hunger but now i have to deal with something much worse, the hunger of others! The fear of being eaten by a pack of zombies the fear of being eaten alive! i'm fulll to the brim with worms right now and now i realize these are my own energies. You know what maggots do right? eat dead tissue! To think i was already dead..except for like a piece of liver i guess. I noticed some change in my body, my spine cracks violently as i unlock it and my eyeleash got weird af seriously never seen that It's like they got super long i know males actually have longer one than females but really that's excessive, and the tip is turning blond. It's like a weird mutation straight from an anime so weird. I am also remembering some annoying stuff like the sealing process and my head cut down, the moon and star symbol keep appearing for some reason. In the end i have trouble keeping myself grounded here, i just want to play around and i know i can do it anytime now especially when my human self is asleep. I can go for months if i really want to. Something funny is i am now well aware i can't enjoy anything here without investment, and the only person i cared about got dragged with me here cuz i wrapped him with my tail, everyone else idk bro. Maybe i'll use the desire to have a dog keep me here for now? hard to tell, i like borzois a lot but if i get a house a cane corso would be better. Then again why would i need to guard it? but yeah burning zombies alive is easy getting rid of them by letting them defile you? hard. sorry for the stream of consciousness style i've lost too much of my humanness, or you could say a return to childhood heh. I wonder how you're keeping your parents btw, keeping that one person was hard enough and that's for selfish reason. Seem like my time is up so i have to fix the karma fast it's like everything around me is crumbling and i am maintaining the illusion for my sanity, but also i don't need that anymore in other bodies, hence the issue of losing this one when i do want to keep a foot here... Oh also did i appear to you in any forms? i try not to but sorry if you got harassed i am still new to this so i end up acting out with the desires of the other bodies. Magic is funny all this is as real as i want it to be, the many astral realms, the many worlds, they're both real and unreal at the same time, i could just stop caring..

>>3122 >As you shapeshift you evolve ever closer to your "real form". Dunno what is it yet for you. Feels dormant. Some spirits just told me i am a "true formless" meaning my soul can take any shape. Seem more abstract like a concept of existence than a final form tbh. I had a hunch it didn't matter what i look like it's just an expression of energies, and i just prefer some over the others. but also have a disdain for staying the same for too long as change is part of my nature.

I'll post it here since it's relevant. But I really don't like the look of this. Anybody knows who is Astriel ? What's his relation with this symbol?

>>3347 No idea about that image in specific, but going by what I know, that's a "satanic super nova", meaning a moon that has its own glow and is actually a dim lit star.

>>3348 I'll explain how i see it. Gabriel top right inserting spears/weapons in what appear to be my body. Azazel behind me Sariel somewhere above to the left can't really see her well. I am Astriel kneeling and smiling, above me Astriel as well but as tailed shadow? my own head cut. the guillotine taking the shape of a crescent the head is the star we become one again the symbol is formed. Can't see the rest.a very old memory. but to me this look like a decapitation ritual. where you take the place of Astriel cutting his own head. More Arch angels around me but i i can't tell who seem to indicate it is complex in it's nature and cannot be done alone. Maybe this shouldn't be taken literally this could literally just mean the union with the subconscious or be the history of how the seals where placed on me.

>>3349 I'm getting more data. Raphael is top-right overseeing Gabriel and myself. <are you sure? <you may not be able to come back oh well I'll analyze it more when i have time.

Great now I am the one who is going through some awakening process again. It feels like I am "molting" my "karmic flesh" or something. Am gonna take it easy until I figure out the correct formation of this thing. The hardest part? I am not allowed to fight it. I have to "surrender" and as none of my parts tense and deny "themselves" I have to feel the correct energy and let it "click". Sure love tasting things that I never tasted in my mouth. Quite literally. It tastes like some weird metal. Jaw meridians pls... >>3347 Not sure man. The moon can represent the sacral chakra while the star the solar but this is not that. My best bet would be that you are connecting to an "another star" some star that is only visible once it shines back from the moon. I am hearing something related to it but I am not sure what it means. They are saying something about <mid year change Maybe Halloween makes the energies more prevalent also it's a full moon outside. Oh wait it's "your" mid-year change. A growth process like puberty. My energies are flowing differently again. I cannot use my higher mind the same way as I did in the past. I will take it easy for a while.

>>3383 >Great now I am the one who is going through some awakening process again. All according to the keikaku >It feels like I am "molting" my "karmic flesh" Same Something like <worms and critters eat me <they die and return to the mother/dirt/mel >black flame crack the earth Idk the rest It's happening over and over >I am not allowed to fight it. I have to "surrender" and as none of my parts tense and deny "themselves" I have to feel the correct energy and let it "click" Exactly :) Like a mother accepting her children :D >It tastes like some weird metal I am eating potato as I'm reading this Gross iron dirt taste like rotten fruit taste with metal Maybe I should put salt and cream on these things . When I cook for family I always try to make something good and healthy but if nobody cooks for me I just eat stuff like that. >Oh wait it's "your" mid-year change. A growth process like puberty. :D Yes I am slowly remembering who I am. I am also extremely mad! I just burnt some mantid ate some too, pieces of shit. It connected again. BTW something I didn't say cuz it sounded too crazy but the moon and star? Its on my forehead as a human and getting more and more visible like a permanent tattoo. I have it as a drow too. >I will take it easy for a while Please do don't feel forced to post because of me. I am gonna let this energy wreck my body for a bit. Also look at this https://youtube.com/watch?v=l8TZ-Gu5Cng I crack my spine like that but in reverse. In the game he was my favorite monster the strategy to beat him was either to poison him or hit his head enough times to stop him from using his wind protection. It was heavily implied all the one we fought were juveniles as you can't approach the adults at all. Their power come from the horns or tail I forgot. I said I was formless but Dragon is my favorite :D

I am having strange dreams again >in my parents house >something is wrong with the sun >the core is gone and now it's just floating gas? >some are freaking out most are in denial >I can see it through the celling >maybe I should prepare and get some canned sardines >then again if we lose the sun maybe I need to get underground or there is no point >now it looks like the moon? >wait was it a small white sun and not our sun? >look at it more intensely >feeling happy about it as everybody is freaking out harder The other dream was easier to understand I ask my dad to take me somewhere where he will approve he used to take us to learn a sport but he would only let you learn something he approved of I am just doing it to make him proud except this time I was being dragged behind them on one of these wheelchair with wheels except it was a bit more comfy like a rolling couch it was attached to my dad's old car. They end up ditching me and come home and I spend the night outside. I go to the old marketplace that got razed by the government a few years ago where my dad used to have a shop this is the past so it should be there. A weird guy is in my dad shops. I am in my succubus body so I am like "yay a male!" I touch his dick but he doesn't get hard <you won't find what you want here is he a eunuch? A homosexual maybe? I am hungry and ask about the food behind him. <it's free for members! <are you sure you wanna eat that it's not very good It looks strange like chewy bread all the food is chewy. He put some weird white goo thing between two slice of bread, sunflower seed bread? I can't eat that physically it would make me sick but I feel It's fine here. I can't taste it well but it's satisfying to eat and suppress hunger. The whole marketplace looks different at night cozy lanterns and Japanese vibe most of the people are women in black dresses they look like pic related. Maybe it just looks like the old marketplace to me? I thought one of the girls was a male cuz she had a dick in a cage kek so I got interested she apologized like a girl and I lost all interest an older woman behind her gave me a disgusting look and showed her teeth. This is the second time this week where a female entity tells me "this one is mine find your own toys" Is it a popular hobby or something? The men remind me of my scholar body so I don't even bother them they look so stuck up as if they can only focus on their mission and have no sexuality. I ask for a few locations from the shop owner and mark them on a map. I go back to my home turning human again my dad is sleeping and it anger me for some reason, I bite him all over with my sharp teeth to wake him up but nothing works he just tells me to go talk to my mom. All she does is complain. <why did you take so long to come back? <you didn't even go there didn't you <you're useless I realize they threw some of my precious objects in my room and replaced everything I get even more heartbroken but mom gets even more mad at me for even mentioning it. I am in my child body now crying in the corner. Two of the girl in black ask me <do you really like being human? The dream end after I scream that I hate it. I wake up and realize I was asleep on my left arm ouch! I am getting more data everybody remembers these old story books for kids? They were boys and girls version.

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It goes like this. <my name is anon <I love my mommy and daddy <I love the color blue <when I grow up I want to be an astronaut! <I like my teacher Mrs whatshername <I like my dog he is my best friend! I think that's where the problem started for us humans, identifying so deeply with temporary meat suits. And ofc they may be precious! I love this body! Even now I am not fully honest! But what is left of the past? That kid grew up his friends changed his favorite color changed maybe the teacher is already dead or she was never as kind as he thought she was. What about that Indian woman I used to be did she have a family? Did she have children? A culture? Something dear? Pets? Maybe even a husband and children. And yet she is long dead, but it's as if I can resurrect her maybe then she was never alive, she was just a role I played for a time and they must all end, and yet we can play them again if we want! Maybe that's the point. One day this body will die and everything this me stand for will be gone my parents my friends my pets memories of grandma, memories of playing in the forest with mycousins. It's all just a game, it's as meaningful and meaningless as you want it to be. Some people sure take it seriously me included. And even here that's the mold mom wanted to break. The mold of fringe. Where even as they become magic users they attached even stronger to themselves. As if this whole thing was just adding a title and some medals to "anon the loser" So he becomes "anon the great ascended master" he sure proved them wrong! Isn't that bs though? I am realizing now the only way to make my current self mean something is to obliterate it. It served it's purpose well and I am proud of him for surviving this. But I try to not be a hypocrite so I have to push myself willingly to do this. Nobody to cut my own head but myself. Why was I even protecting temporary lies? I need to go deeper in magic so deep no more lies can hold me back.

>>3406 I am aware that to some it may look like I changed got possessed by a dangerous entity or whatever. My first post on the question thread and this one are so different! And yet it's still the same awareness the eyes behind the eyes. There is no true me just preferences and tendencies. The act of will upon the world. The act of will upon myself.

Originally I was going to reply to smileyflag anon's wikipedia link in the dream thread >>3395 but I'm going to veer off-topic and there are some other things on which I'd like to ask for guidance anyway. So what preceded that dream was intense contemplation which had been ongoing, but especially that day, regarding whether I should follow a specific religious tradition and if so, which one. I've been studying biblical hebrew because the kabbalah and the symbolism of its letters is fascinating to me, but it's also been nagging at me that I need to follow a religion, and I have no interest in worshiping YHWH or Jesus. For the past year or so I've felt drawn to Taoism as a religion, but many things have held me back, including its apparent inaccessibility and alien status to the civilization in which I was born and live. For the record I'm the swastikanon who asked about Falun Gong in the Question thread a while ago However, I don't think FG is what planted the seed since their literature doesn't really resonate with me and I've never actually finished any of their books. It was probably when I read Man in High Castle by PKD in 2019. Ironically, I've never had much interest in East Asian cultures before in my life. Regarding this need for, or draw towards religion it began several months ago. I posted about it on here and started praying on and off (like most of my practice until recently, except FG because it stops me being sick). I aim to pray only on behalf of others, except in dire circumstances. An example of the latter being when I got stranded in a bad area with little recourse, and only minutes after I realized how fucked I was, some random guy arrived to give me a ride. Part of this change was an awakening to the truth of suffering in this world and how everyone, no matter who they are, was dropped in one of these bodies with no knowledge and inevitably programmed into an automaton by means of trauma and culture. Of course I'd known this before but had never felt this compassion for every living thing in this world and the tragedy of our shared circumstance. I've realized how "edgy" belief systems were just my younger self's infantile response to trauma. Moreover I understand for the first time in my life why religions partake in charity and would like to do so myself someday. This distro-hopping languages sounds mundane and childish, but it's important. Learning languages brings me joy. My inborn essence desires to taste, know and be everything. Yet it conflicts with the reality of being humanly impossible, with trauma programming that strongly discouraged exploration and play, and with the wisdom that excellence is reached through focus. Both the languages and the desire for religion might also have to do with my growing up and having my sense of self destroyed, and being without anything to hold onto or center myself with, for many years. Anyway this dream I had, I interpret it as some sort of advice, or an answer to the question, given perhaps by my body itself in response not only to my mind's intense rumination but also to the new energy pathways opened up. The mountain was probably my body but the lava and vulva felt like something else. It could have been a female aspect of myself, i guess. But her essence felt very different from my own. So finally getting into the meat of the issue, I want to find out if there's a Hindue goddess who matches that part of my experience, and contact her. Ever since that dream it feels like my body has opened up and is craving to be filled with the energy of a deity. Pics related. When I was browsing the web in my dream, I saw a small thumbnail with a woman who looked superficially like this actress. In that moment I realized how closely her flavor resembles what I felt during that part of the "tattva." Sinister, yet nonhostile. Sultry. Brooding. She would smell and feel like warm damp soil, and taste like grass.

>>3480 Based on this post, Copilot recommends Kali.

Every possible point of awareness represents a distinct universe. Every being and object which possesses a soul is the center of an individual reality-timeline which is intersecting with countless other reality-timelines. Every Star is a Sun.

>>3406 I somewhat pulled my shit together so I will talk a little even tho I know you are going through so many changes you are far from the posts you made already. >something is wrong with the sun I have noticed others with these dreams and the only reason I didn't have it in dream because I had to witness it IRL. It is about the "dimensional break" when the psyche that is trapped in your mind or flesh breaks a layer and the "perceived" world ends and you get closer to a "different" "reality". For me it was while awake and had to sit down under a tree for hours to meditate while it happened because I had to witness the many karmic forms around us break then I noticed the many layers and "auras" of the sun as I reconnected to the "remade" reality. You make your own reality and the old and faulty reality that limited you had to end. Like how a chick hatches from the egg. The egg(shell) was it's whole world and he broke it to be "born" from it. It appears different for everyone on the path of awakening. There are similarities and one of my "quest" on fringe is gather the common theme of the processes as much as I can. Either to streamline my own awakening further or for future reference when I have a chance to awaken others as well. It's so rare it is like an accidental choice you can make for yourself and others without noticing. >now it looks like the moon? >wait was it a small white sun and not our sun? Yeah you definitely connected with your own sun/moon aspects like mentioned here >>3347 >I am in my succubus body so I am like "yay a male!" Was it that easy to shift into that mindset for you? I still have second guesses as I am in my female bodies tho my infernal mastery is still lacking. Too murderous and not enough sexual desu. My true passion is not apparent yet. I am not asexual but very few things make me get going nowadays. >I can't eat that physically it would make me sick but I feel It's fine here. I too ate so many weird food in dreams and the astral because it felt "Normal" there. Like a pizzaroll that had the shape of the cosmos or once I found a bread and for some reason I felt it looks too good to be eaten so I stomped on it then ate it... wondered maybe it relates to my self that eats food once it almost expired to not go to waste but avoids fresh food out of disinterest or something? >I can't taste it well but it's satisfying to eat and suppress hunger. Astral food usually has that feature. I too realized IRL that I generate more "dopamine" from chewing than actually tasting food. Was a weird realization. Mostly because I figured out how to enhance or ignore taste for quite the while and I dislike thinking about it because it reminds me how fake is the world. >The whole marketplace looks different at night cozy lanterns and Japanese vibe Feels like I visited a place like that sometime >women in black dresses they look like pic related. Met quite amount of them tbh. >This is the second time this week where a female entity tells me "this one is mine find your own toys" Is it a popular hobby or something? Not sure. I don't encounter them because if any of them did this there is a high possibility I would get stoked and consider it a "challenge". It is a weird gamble with predator mindsets when you threaten them. You need to know by instinct if it will succeed or fail or you learn it in the hard way. If they showed me the teeth I would have an absolute desire to show mine. Had to listen to some entities telling me to stop overpowering larger entities to see the worth of my own strength. It is rude. Had to realize I don't require opposition for "growth" anymore. >as if they can only focus on their mission and have no sexuality. That is a "specialized male". Learning to channel your energies into higher forms is great but that doesn't mean you have to forget your sexuality... it's a long topic. Even I am untangling the right use of energies. >I am in my child body now crying in the corner. Yeah these "roles" need to be solved and merged within your psyche or you won't get "whole" and cannot evolve further. >Two of the girl in black ask me <do you really like being human? The dream end after I scream that I hate it. Now this is a real pickle that I only noticed in the past months. I have a part that refuses to "incarnate" because being human sucks and is asleep and only "wakes up" when I am in some intense situation when I feel "alive". The goal is not to make it more attached to earth but to "unite" with it so I can move between the realms and mental states more effortlessly. Just took out a giant karmic structure from the body yesterday. It was like a black iron with spikes ouch. No wonder it hurt. And these materials keep you together until you can unite on your own. Also I remember when I witnessed the "illusion of the self". It was beautiful it was with the majestic vedic imagery with archetypes and gods and everything. 2 girls appeared and said >this is all too archaic we can do better than this Then they turned into memes and wojacks... The glorious majestic splendor turned into soyjacks and chads and weird spooderman janitors etc. It was horrible and one part of me wanted to say stop it I get it but deep down I knew I had to burn it into myself further because it was so horrific it helped me understand better. For a year I thought after this experience I can withstand any hells and horrors because it was ridiculously stupid. Blood skeletons cross dimensional eldritch horrors? They are RAD. Fucking shitty memes streamed into my consciousness so it can "explain" the illusory nature of the self? WHY? But I am on imageboards and interact with these meems all the time. I "want" this hell for some reason aren't I? I cannot deny it. >I think that's where the problem started for us humans, identifying so deeply with temporary meat suits. There was a time when it wasn't temporal then there was a time when souls refused to properly incarnate and "use" their body as intended. In some cases it's a problem while it's a feature too. Might talk about it later a little more. >I love this body! Took me time to realize it. How I like my own body. Mom always shaming me for every detail kinda made me forgot how great it is. Had to realize that my spirit didn't manage to reach the "length" of my limbs. It felt I have babylimbs compared to my flesh body because I forgot to "grow" into it. Had to increase the scope of my awareness. >But what is left of the past? Whatever you care to explore. Everything is recorded somewhere every moment of existence but there is not always a point finding it. >And yet she is long dead, but it's as if I can resurrect her maybe then she was never alive, she was just a role I played for a time and they must all end, and yet we can play them again if we want! Once you can exist outside time you can realize every moment exists "at the same time" and you can see how they connect in a non-linear way. >Maybe that's the point. :) >One day this body will die and everything this me stand for Do you know what you stand for currently? >will be gone This is a blessing btw. You can let go of things "You don't stand for". They are not you they made you but you don't need them anymore. They had their purpose they are over. What needs to remain can carry on others can leave. Death has it's blessings too. While some parts of you die some go on further. Try to feel both and let those parts die that want to die. >Some people sure take it seriously me included Wonder about your "seriousness" btw. I feel like I didn't manage to get a real glimpse of it yet. It wants to break out but can't find the opportunity for some reason.

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>The mold of fringe. Where even as they become magic users they attached even stronger to themselves Yeah I really try to not become too central on this board for that reason. Creating a web persona is not always wise. >title and some medals to "anon the loser" So he becomes "anon the great ascended master" he sure proved them wrong! Yeah I noticed it IRL whenever I accomplish something I rarely care about those that demeaned me at the start and fueled me forward so I don't be called names by them anymore. I realized having the desire to "prove people wrong" is an absolutely horrendous attachment that sabotages growth. Like you know with magic and sigils you are not allowed to have expectations or it fails. Doing magic to "prove others wrong" is even lower than that. You have a false image of others who have a false image of you and you want to break that false image while literally feeding it deep down in your psyche. Realizing that there are people I shouldn't "prove" magic to and other things that are "real" because they won't be able to handle it and I don't have the wisdom to awaken them yet was harsh. Doing magic or spirituality for fame or other material pursuits is always a futile endeavor and many texts warn against it. >I need to go deeper in magic so deep no more lies can hold me back. Yupp >>3407 >I am aware that to some it may look like I changed got possessed by a dangerous entity or whatever. Nah you are just working through your stuff your own bs. It's just it's so "foreign" it feels like you got possessed. In some cases I like to be overtaken by entities so I can see what is "real" within me. What part of me couldn't be overwritten what breaks so easily and what gets overshadowed. Always educational. >My first post on the question thread and this one are so different! :^) >And yet it's still the same awareness the eyes behind the eyes. Yupp >There is no true me just preferences and tendencies. What are you without those preferences and tendencies then? >The act of will upon the world. The act of will upon myself. And who wills that will? What happens if you don't will? Do you stop existing or you notice something that your forgot about? Want to write so much more but maybe later. The post is already a week old and not sure if you can resonate with it anymore.

>>3480 >>3484 I also recommend Kali. Worked with her and she knows exactly the right methods to make your slumbering essence awaken.

>>3799 >you are going through so many changes you are far from the posts you made already. I wish i could say that i feel like i haven't moved at all. finding my center? spirals spirals, yeah it doesn't change how frustrated i am how angry. >you get closer to a "different" "reality I am feeling that, the mold of old reality is breaking and now it's different, are the people with me the same? did some change with me by following me? or are they different. It's hard to tell sometimes. >Either to streamline my own awakening further or for future reference when I have a chance to awaken others as well. I wonder if that is possible at all. I feel like i am dooming people even here by sharing my story, that my words are laced with poison. i don't know man. >Was it that easy to shift into that mindset for you? I It was! very natural. the only issues come with the fear of being judged by the human me, and shit like being scared to get preggo again with someone unworthy lol but a voice said that this body knows what to do so. I don't get it tbh, being male, the sex is boring the body is wrong, no boobs no pregnancy pleasure is illusory you make love to yourself albeit in a broken uncertain way. I get the expression of the sexuality but all the rest is missing, humans are broken. As a female it'd be even worse having to plug that energetic hole. It only makes sense as a stepping stone a way to accumulate energies that human females leaks. It's very cruel, how broken humans are. dogs chasing their own tails i don't understand how this was allowed. >Too murderous and not enough sexual desu That's how i am as a male tbh, or i rewire it to make myself specialized like you said, still getting the hang of it. Then again my tail is incomplete, it reaches deep but the tip is wrong, it's a halberd. A dangerous unbalance, a dangerous swing a dance of destruction and death. >very few things make me get going nowadays. Same i can feel the love and lust creeping but i don't know what to do i just use that to empower myself.i am not sure how to express it yet, i can express it in female bodies but not in males ones :/ >like a pizzaroll that had the shape of the cosmos when i was a kid i remember pizza shops having weird names, like pizza galaxy lol so thanks for reminding me of that. >wondered maybe it relates to my self that eats food once it almost expired to not go to waste I do the same thing! i let things in the fridge so that others eat them first, but they don't so i have to eat it. I even eat moldy fruits sometimes, wasting food hurts me, i am not sure why maybe because we were kinda poor? maybe because grandma grew up even poorer and i took that side of her, it's complex i am still digging it, it's a kind of compassion for the grain of rice that are being ground between your teeth to prolong your life, the farmer breaking his back, the insects birds and rodents killed for us to eat one more day. but then food is poison today so i can't say i would eat everything unfortunately. It's weird i would also say for me it's cuz i don't think i deserve the best of food and it should be left for those who need it most, i only eat it when i burn myself for them so i am the same as them and deserve it so my body doesn't crumble. >from chewing than actually tasting food. Yeah i get it especially working the wisdom tooth feels good! tbh i am not sure i need to eat that much, i am just syncing myself with the people i live with so i need to with them to be part of family i guess? but then i make myself sick if i force myself to eat like them. It's hard i want to share a meal but the food just is wrong and then i push myself and end up fucking my body which then sync me with this "burn eat burn eat" of carb loop hell. fuck this. >there is a high possibility I would get stoked and consider it a "challenge". It is a weird gamble with predator mindsets when you threaten them >You need to know by instinct if it will succeed or fail or you learn it in the hard way. Yeah i get it, i respect people/entities so i wouldn't do that unless i really REALLY wanted that person as property. Just being curious make them threaten me, but if i can't guarantee that the person under their care is happy then what? if i win i'd just be stuck with them and i don't want to deal with more people rn. so unless someone begged me to take them or i really wanted them no matter what i wouldn't fight with their handler haha. >Yeah these "roles" need to be solved and merged within your psyche or you won't get "whole" and cannot evolve further. Getting "whole" i used to think it meant bringing all myself back to me but maybe it's more like connecting pieces but letting them do their thing anyway..uhhhhhh > It was like a black iron with spikes ouch. No wonder it hurt. Dude i literally have rusted weapons all over my body like fucking Zabuza from naruto, and then memories of decapitation.

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I try to remove them i get hit with radiation lol, now i can remove them but i am scared to do so because everything i look at get a "wheel" I called it "drow wheel" because when it connects you drop dead bugs humans friend foes doesn't matter, not sure how it works but i had to put the weapon back till i put some safety in there! >The glorious majestic splendor turned into soyjacks and chads and weird spooderman janitors etc ROFL sounds like you had fun. >Mom always shaming me for every detail kinda made me forgot how great it is. :'( tbh i love my body like i'd love an old bone shaped into a weapon. It's shit but it's mine and i stabbed some dangerous thing with it, it has a few pieces missing but it served me as best as it could. But i'll have to get a new one and i'll eat that bone whole prb still not sure if i have to eat my body and how it is an act of love but ehh whatever i'll explore more. >Do you know what you stand for currently? mm like generally? I'd say freedom and fairness? For myself and others? Freedom of flesh freedom from flesh freedom of being freedom from pain and pleasures alike? You can feel them but you can look outside at any time. I am trying to find a conclusion to this mess. Maybe i just want one cuz i want my suffering to have meant something, it'd be easier for me if someone just told me "you were very bad in a past life so now you must suffer lol" but i don't see that at all! So it wasn't fair and i suffered for nothing? what was the point then? you know if my parents truly apologized i wouldn't know how to react, i would do bad things for sure! I don't think my anger could stop because it would have meant they knew what they were doing. I am not sure i am not sure at all! I'd like to say this world is perfect how it is that i am okay with the state of things but i am not! I am mad at the gods for letting it get this bad i am mad at myself i am mad at humans i am mad at everything! Either the world is a fallen mess that needs to be purged or it's perfect as it is i just can't see it yet or maybe it's whole point is making someone angry enough that they devour the whole thing. Seriously i don't get it at all! All the suffering and for what? see it's easy for me now to say it's perfect i have a much better life than i had before i can use magic to save myself if a danger approach too. Do you know how people behave in my home country? insects eating each other, parents eating their children, teachers eating their students. No more heroes, everybody is here to get you play by the rules and become an even worse monster if you want to survive! Consuming each other cannibals! And i let them do that to me! I didn't want to face that suffering it was easier for me to pretend it was normal, to be blind to the suffering of others and my own that hey "things aren't that bad!" or if it is they're just being punished for something they did! me included! I am angry bro i am very angry, angry at the suffering of animals and of humans of plants too! "It's okay because it's human doing it to other humans" it's a cheap excuse isn't it? I may not have a human soul but i was born as one raised as one suffered and sinned as one, you are born unaware and before you even learn how to be they break you feed you some nestlé slops and traumatize you in their image we're shock troops! How is that fair? You told me the dragons were insulting me well they can come here as humans and say it as humans and we can punch each other as humans as well!might make right after all right? It's like a billionaire saying money isn't important a wealthy man saying illness isn't that big of a deal. It's easy to call humans weak and pathetic when you soar through the sky with just a thought, try it in this filth and see how much of yourself you can keep!i fucking forgot everything! Weak signals to follow in the shit world made of shit. And then there are people who get tortured and filmed, how is that fair? did they all deserve it somehow? oh maybe this one is soulless it's okay then! Could i keep my reason if i was tortured like that? could you? What about being raped used? sold? eaten from? I'd rather be raped and broken then have my eyes eaten by whilst i still live I'll tell you that or burnt alive.. I am really angry and i am scared to express that anger i don't know what to do with it yet. so what's the conclusion uh? become an even worse monster and set things straight with worse brutality? snuff out the bad ones and eat their livers like an enforcer? Become some kind of feel good hugging saint and 80 years after your death people kill in your name? I think it's unfair, if you're gonna call yourself a god of man you better be fucking responsible of humanity then! come down here and fix it! Or else just be god who helps when you feel like it but don't lie to us like that! Yeah maybe those normies are just that much beyond help, but some of us are born with them and from them no? I am trying to find some sense into this mess, because i need to understand humanity to find a way out, are we all that terrible of sinners? It'd be easy too easy to just fuck off and be a dragon drow or succubus rn but i won't forget this hell i need to find a meaning for this suffering a satisfying answer, a smile that never fades. Do you know how it feels to be a succubus btw? Outside of time you can see everything! go anywhere! just flap your wings and you are there! Nothing could compare here no video games, no sex no pleasure. I guess this would make sense if it was my own suffering i refused to see, and i am being judged like a god despite being human rn. but even that is pushing it, some people have nothing i had the intellect, access to internet etc If it was me i'd grab all the people i like put them on a floating island and let them experience a good life forever till they get so disgusted by it they try to kill me, only then would i let them come down here when they're ready and have a distaste for the unreal. The other day i noticed leaves fall from trees following a "cycle" a "clock" i was disgusted! i closed my eyes in anger! I didn't want to see this horror what a hypocrite i can be! >What are you without those preferences and tendencies then? mmmm it depends if they're really mine? but if they are then i guess wanting to be something is to be that thing on some level but then..i am not the me's and yet they are part of who i am. No wonder i keep getting ouroboros symbolism! confused snake! I'll think about it. >And who wills that will? What happens if you don't will? Do you stop existing or you notice something that your forgot about? Depends on what level, as a human i get forced to act on some desires, but i can will to not act but it is still willing not to will you know? I'll dig this more i can feel a blind spot. well my whole subconscious ofc.

>>3799 Also you asked me what do i fear? Pain in general ofc, but the pain of being judged by someone i respect is pretty high up. That my struggles meant nothing That everything i did was "wrong". Even now i am doubting myself, i need to connect to that anger better.I'll meditate on those feelings and accept them however they come. Also i hate when people hurt themselves for me so don't you dare you or any other do that for my sake!

>>3850 >I wish i could say that i feel like i haven't moved at all. finding my center? Yeah wanted to say you are still the person who posted in the question thread just less depressed. Now the other annoying emotions surface that you have to deal with. >spirals spirals Yupp >yeah it doesn't change how frustrated i am how angry It's not easy I know. >are the people with me the same? Does it matter? Btw everything constantly change so they can "stay the same". Once someone is unable to change further they die. Had to see how the gods do it. For them the term "Unchanging" is not the same as how plastic food is not rotting and plastic flowers are not wilting. The way they do it differs with their "way" and ho boy. Whenever I see the "machinations" I realize how I don't know anything at all. >It's hard to tell sometimes. There is a lesson in Buddhism about not being "judgemental". Westoids managed to misunderstand that as "Infinite tolerance". Old Buddhist masters were harsh af with retards and they mean something else. Letting go of the "judgemental nature" has the perk of you having a chance to gain the ability of "pure observation/awareness" instead of putting labels on everything. Like how everyone is either a commie or a nazi a pervert or prude. That polarized thinking leads nowhere and you will miss the point of your senses. It's hard I know. Some people judge to ridicule or to feel superior I did to be "efficient". Had to realize how I blocked many of my natural skills with that. By turning myself into a clog in a machine that doesn't care about efficiency or longevity at all. >I wonder if that is possible at all. It is but you won't do it "alone". You will need help and only happens when it's "meant to be". People who awaken leave a "heat signature" and reality "changes" with it. There are rules and extremely special karmic formations in those cases. I like to say how I don't believe in the "impossible" but nowadays I see the flow of things far more well and I can finally stop breaking walls with my head just to "Prove" something. It needs to be relaxed and only as much effort as necessary or things break. >I feel like i am dooming people even here by sharing my story, that my words are laced with poison Fringe is safe. This thread is megasafe because of several protective entities are keeping watch. Some poison builds resistance you know. Tantra is about making the poison into elixir. That is my goal here. Figuring out the perfect stimulating energies and the real flow of consciousness. There are things that need to perish in this world and they are willing to ingest as much poison as they can to achieve that goal. Not an easy truth to accept I know. I too try to not make others fall because of my energetic tantrums. >voice said that this body knows what to do so Yes. The female body is supposed to know it but modern females are so disconnected from all aspects of their biology and instincts it's ridiculous. >the sex is boring the body is wrong The male body is a juiced up powerhouse and yes you need "passion" or it only generates regret and disappointment. Even I know if I impregnate a mundane woman my psyche would just go into "dad mode" and I will forget my occult pursuits or wreck that marriage. Seen my many families of the old and I am too responsible to leave them and once the kids are gone the life can be called "finished" already. It's like reading a slice of life novel. It was idyllic and the women were tasty I cannot complain about those lives. But nowadays? Lol no way. Madness of awakening first then I will figure out if I want to play "daddy" or start a magic bloodline or whatever because no way am going into the modern mundane madness and let my children suffer for nothing. >no boobs Bruh if you don't feed babies with those they are pointless as hell. Also you have "boobs" energetically. I had to activate that "female part" several times. It's really female. >you make love to yourself albeit in a broken uncertain way They make funny squirming noises tho. >I get the expression <tfw I have extremely cool secret ecstatic arts that I am too dumb to use currently Annoying tbh >but all the rest is missing, humans are broken And still kicking somehow! Ever wondered why? Let's make ourselves whole again then we can talk about it further :) >As a female it'd be even worse having to plug that energetic hole. As a female I could never awaken on my own. Felt pointless to even try. There were 2 cases that I know so far and they were "guided". My female ass didn't really have a choice in it. It was a do it or die miserably. Ever since I reconnected those parts of myself my "ideal" view on women that the base male psyche grants is gone. All of them entitled wannabe princesses without a kingdom or whores nowadays. Ridiculous and let's not even mention the chemical imbalance they cause for themselves in the past 50 years. >It's very cruel, how broken humans are. Biological lifeforms are not easy. Once you see it you will either hate the "creator" more or you will simply understand. It's a mess but blame entropy and chaos for making it hard to make a stable easy to reproduce incarnation vessel. >dogs chasing their own tails i don't understand how this was allowed Did you watch dogs do that? They are happy to do that if there is nothing better to chase. Hard to find the true prey in life that is worth pursuing tbh. >or i rewire it to make myself specialized like you said Nonono you will have to find your origin energies. Only wire for balance and to further your awakening. Do not wire yourself for meager reasons. I had to see what atrocities I did to my body because as a young psychic I realized how I can wire myself as much as I can. Overwired myself like a retard. Seen all the extra wires and circuits how they take up so much place instead of connecting it as it "means to be". Urgh. Smart people have the luxury that they are aware how retarded they are... while retards think themselves smart already and never see the reason to improve because of it... Always annoying to realize it how much I have to go further. But once the pace appears it becomes quite addictive. Perfection is just a mere step into the right direction. >Then again my tail is incomplete I would say you are stressing on it too much but... as I see it now it seems you don't have your "dimensional anchoring" yet. The why "stay on earth" and the answer won't be found in society or mainstream thinking. It will be far more baser far closer to your real nature. >A dangerous unbalance, a dangerous swing a dance of destruction and death Yeah you are still breaking a "Mold" for yourself. Can't say what exactly. The tree that reaches the heavens will need it's roots reach hell. I don't know what is your "underworld" I cannot see it yet. Some dark brown energy and it whispers something but I cannot hear it <do not disturb further k fine I will stop. >i am not sure how to express it yet Yeah I notice it the way you write still has "mood swings" which means your true expression is not apparent yet. There are still too many "leftover energies from the "Mortal self" and your main energies are still slumbering. >i can express it in female bodies Try to express other things besides sex. Some artforms or way of speech I don't know. You know "women aren't just holes" the better ones at least. >wasting food hurts me Same but starting to let it go because being a trash hog is pointless. Starvation is least of my worries.

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>maybe because we were kinda poor I can relate. Too many habits stay from that mentality. >but then food is poison today so i can't say i would eat everything Yeah. The food the air the media the women the people. Ridiculous. >deserve it so my body doesn't crumble Same I need food to stay productive in the mundaneverse. As much as I tried to fast while working with mundanes I can't. Not because of hunger or tiredness my grounding just breaks and I cannot put up with mundane retardation further. If I don't eat I just want to get lost in the forest and never return. Ridiculous. >unless i really REALLY wanted that person as property Yeah I rarely have that feeling too. Very few things set me on fire. Not to mention most entities "fall in love with me" if I am willing to show my passion otherwise I am rarely bothered while in "low energy mode". I have to reclaim so many parts of myself and "collecting astral pokemon" is not as fun since i noticed how many "friends" I have from my "Other lives". >i don't want to deal with more people rn Same. I too am still unfucking myself. >it's more like connecting pieces but letting them do their thing anyway..uhhhhhh You usually find the "connection point" and once you find it you let it "widen" until it's so wide they or (You) fuse together because there is no "difference" anymore. >i am scared to do so because everything i look at get a "wheel" Dharmawheels are a thing. Many energy centers have circulatory mechanisms that appear as wheels. Work with them. Also figure out of your "radiation" and let it shine so it can kill your parasites and your "internal entropy" can decompose your useless parts. I don't get your "radiation" tbh. Feels like there is more to it. Might be an expression of your authority.

>>3850 >but i had to put the weapon back till i put some safety in there! Instead of "safety" see what "triggers" it. Guns don't kill people people kill people as the saying goes. Feel what thoughts and emotions makes you "do harm" with it. For me that was one of the "trick". >ROFL sounds like you had fun. Bruh it fucking traumatized me. I wanted the spiritual splendor and was amazed that I can finally see it then "nope it doesn't have a proper grounding in the psyche and if it's too divine most parts of my psyche won't integrate it so soyjacks it is". >tbh i love my body Same tbh. I realized it's "good start I shouldn't waste this incarnation let's make the most of it". Didn't realize what level of specific genetic make up I have so I can actualize my "soul activation" back then. Ever since seeing it I cannot hate this big boy. He can do anything! but he is a little shy :( >ehh whatever i'll explore more You will do that a lot. >mm like generally? Wondered if you managed to reach your "true feelings" or you are still swamped by the confusion. When you truly know "who you are" and truly able to express in words you are a true force of existence. But yeah I made your noggin joggin with this question. If you asked me what I stand for I could tell tales what I do and what were my intentions with that but if I have to say it on a grander scale? I am unsure if I have the audacity to say it out loud. >freedom from pain and pleasures alike? Succs have mastery over it and not exactly "freedom" >You can feel them but you can look outside at any time This one is tricky. How to overcome your senses but don't lose your anchoring in this reality. >I am trying to find a conclusion to this mess. Yeah but try to look for a "vantage point" instead of a final conclusion. You could call a conclusion a "judgement" and I don't think it works that way anymore. Conclusions exist at the very end and currently we have to find the way to live in the moment the true center the true way to observe reality for what it is. I can "detect" my past life and conclusions were "made" but only as an intention for the next life and not as a "Great summary". It was a don't make this mistake next and look for x or y in this life instead kind of thing so far. Ofc there are more but these memories are painful. >what was the point then? Maybe so we can talk on /fringe/? lol. Btw once you see "karma" you will notice all the threads of fate and how you gravitate towards things remake renounce and create karma and why you keep doing it. Not a nice sight. As long as your emotions stir your psyche you cannot see it fully. Not even I can yet ;_; Always something weirder and nastier comes out once I solve a problem. If I level up the stage also shows it's higher level. Like a videogame :D >if my parents truly apologized I realized I don't care anymore. Their current state cannot say "sorry" the way I want them anymore. They were weak and hearing the weak sorry for being weak just angers me in a way. Truth is I wanted to "prevail" over them and not by the passage of time. I wanted to overcome then when I was still little and not by growing up. Am slowly letting go. Realized how addictive and freeing forgetting can be. Especially once you can travel through time without emotional attachments memories become like the mud on your shoes important. >they knew what they were doing They were lost in the moment. They had no idea what they were doing. Really annoys me. Dad had remorse in some situations but mom... >how it is that i am okay with the state of things but i am not! You will need to find peace first. Otherwise it won't work. >I am mad at the gods for letting it get this bad i am mad at myself i am mad at humans i am mad at everything! Was that way for decades. Finally getting out of it. Truly liberating. >Either the world is a fallen mess that needs to be purged or it's perfect as it is What if just selected things needs purging and fixing? What if we just need to realize what is wrong and fix it? What if it's simple? What if we just need to see it? Took me time to see it so no need to blame yourself for thinking this way. Not easy because it's too obvious. >No more heroes We just have to make some. Just Merlin their shit up and we have a round table. >I may not have a human soul but i was born as one If you have a human compatible soul then you are a human period. This is the conclusion I came to. Otherwise it's too hard to draw the line what is and isn't a human. We have too many non-humans and those that can be called humans are let's say even weirder. >How is that fair? Dunno. You stand for fairness you should know the answer :P Srsly what is "fair" gets more complex especially once you see karma. Just realize your feelings let them wash over you let them take over you then once you are done let go and face what was overshadowed by them. >You told me the dragons were insulting me They kinda insult everyone :/ They called me an arrogant fuck for using an even more ancient elemental magic because their way is incompatible with mine while I have an already working elemental system that I have to learn anyway to retain my stuff. >Do you know how people behave in my home country? I think we have weird cultural barriers going on that we don't even notice. Like if you live in Latin America I cannot comprehend the hell you are experiencing there with my Yuropoor ass. When you mentioned that monkey I realized damm I will never experience that. I only have hoofed and horned beasts and not a wild monke attack like it's normal. Best I have is cats and deer. Wildboars in some cases. >It's easy to call humans weak and pathetic Only modern humans. Ancients eat demons for breakfast and tame the rest. >Weak signals to follow Your "receivers" are jammed by the noise. Once your find your frequency it will get easier. >there are people who get tortured and filmed, how is that fair? I uh have this thing in Ukraine near me but you don't have Mexican cartels there right? Or whatever is happening in Brazil... or in Argentina... or in the other countries which are also famous for being crime ridden shitholes but I am unaware of their current geopolitical status. >did they all deserve it somehow? Usually no but in some cases the answer is more complex. You are speaking in general and not about specific videos that are widespread in your country right? I only have POWs torturing each other hundreds of kms away. Oh and that "farm" the elites had that may or may not have been "bombed".

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>maybe this one is soulless it's okay then! Not how karma works! >Could i keep my reason if i was tortured like that? could you? Always wondered about it tbh but never really making myself get into those situations so who knows. >What about being raped used? sold? eaten from? Okay the mosquitoes are my public enemy and I cannot stand them. So guess the others are also something I would dislike. >I am really angry and i am scared to express that anger i don't know what to do with it yet. You will have to find the way it flows and let it wash over you and not "act with it" don't deny it let it go through you and watch it how it moves some parts of your body as an observer. Not easy I know. Even I have troubles with it. >become an even worse monster and set things straight with worse brutality? Demons consider Angels as an even worse monster. Evil spirits think the same about Gods. I think you will get it once you see the proper way to dispose monsters instead of becoming one of them. >eat their livers like an enforcer? You still eating those? >Become some kind of feel good hugging saint and 80 years after your death people kill in your name? y-yeah I definitely never did such a thing. h-haha. Imagine having astral armies that do your bidding once you utter the word but you feel unworthy to do so h-haha. That would be so funny l-lol. >but don't lie to us like that! Truth cannot be expressed via words so everything will be a half truth until you can "hear it" :( Also forget what the prophets said and the Bible especially how the general populace interprets it because it's absolutely misunderstood and mistranslated. >Yeah maybe those normies are just that much beyond help Still unsure. >but some of us are born with them and from them no? Yeah :/ >I am trying to find some sense into this mess, because i need to understand humanity to find a way out You need not just a way "out" but also a "way in" so you can retain your own true knowledge base. >It'd be easy too easy to just fuck off and be a dragon drow or succubus rn I am unsure tbh. Feel like you have to shift through many forms so you can shed the "current human" (You) then finally see the force that ties you together. >but i won't forget this hell i need to find a meaning for this suffering a satisfying answer, a smile that never fades. Is it really that bad? >Do you know how it feels to be a succubus btw? I have lilim and siren bodily forms somehow. Like when talking to the dragons my siren form appeared and looked at him with bejeweled eyes and the dragon became nicer. Never understand when my spirit does that shit. whyamIasiren. whendidIdothat. >Outside of time you can see everything! You have to understand how time doesn't exist. Once you are there you can widen your awareness as much as you want and let go of this confusing mess of "human condition" >Nothing could compare here no video games, no sex no pleasure Tell me about it. >let them experience a good life forever till they get so disgusted by it they try to kill me I might tell a story about this sometime. How I had to experience the "end of heaven" in an ancient existence and what level of karma I am carrying because of it. >only then would i let them come down here What if they could go "Up" more? What if there is something beyond paradise and this planet? >I'll think about it. Gambare >>3851 >Also you asked me what do i fear? Pain in general ofc For me it was "fucking up" making an irreparable mistake. Pain is sensory. Can be turned off. Nowadays I am increasing my sensitivity so I can feel the more nuanced pain. Never knew my body can make so weird sounds. >Also i hate when people hurt themselves for me so don't you dare Heh. I don't think that will happen. I don't think others will need to hurt themselves for your sake. Not even the time hurts that it took to write down this reply lol.

>>3901 >Now the other annoying emotions surface that you have to deal with. Cleaning the river eh. It's more than emotional turmoil it's insane blockage that block the energy flows and redirect them in stupid ways, i am just glad i didn't develop cancer by now. >and I will forget my occult pursuits or wreck that marriage. bruh i literally had back up plans wired in my body if i couldn't pursue my goals :/ As i recall only two bodies were available to reincarnate into and both of somewhat low quality; the other died at 14 if i recall due to a fatal flaw so i didn't pick it up as too risky and got stuck with this stock;In the words of XRA "I am a survivor we're a dying breed". >Let's make ourselves whole again then we can talk about it further :) Sounds like fun yes. >As a female I could never awaken on my own. It's possible but the way the womb and spine connect is complicated. You need to unlock your hips and lower side and have them naturally connect to the spine, it looks like the lower spine hugging the womb to me. You also need sperm but that's just for initial activation the human body has that code built in. That's as much as i am willing to share i can see other stuff but i am never sure. >Might be an expression of your authority Anything that isn't the "real me" degenerates, it's a blinding intense light being near it makes you sick and start to lose your cohesion so in a way it is radiation. >Do not wire yourself for meager reasons. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE okay fine you're right i just have a hard time accepting myself for who i am and try to make myself "useful" to the people around me cuz i pity them or something. In a way i have faith in myself i know no matter what i can come back but others...maybe they just need more time in the "oven"? >as I see it now it seems you don't have your "dimensional anchoring" yet. The why "stay on earth" and the answer won't be found in society or mainstream thinking. It will be far more baser far closer to your real nature. I just want to have fun :'( Fun mean different things to different people.. Like fighting can be fun and you can be badly hurt but it's part of the fun too but being hurt to the point the body doesn't recover and you have to give up the adventure or live as a cripple isn't fun to me nor to you i assume. But i think i am getting an idea on what kind of uh being? i want to be. >"dimensional anchoring" You just make a rod put a ton of emotion into it and link it to that dimension then put&break the rod into the ground in such a way it become the same as that dimension to you. That way if i think of "earth" and i feel "love" emotion used it worked. ofc then i ask myself: the rod is in how many earths? but then does it matter? do i have an idea on which earth i am waking up this morning do i slightly shift all the time? Yeah doesn't really matter just have to be careful cuz you can anchor yourself to misery if you think of earth as this and just cause bad shit for yourself. so i have to anchor solidly to something not solid and this bothers me to no end. tbh i am just retarded and have no self worth so i trap myself in that kind of bs and then when i decide to act i do it forcefully with all the momentum of my repressed self and end up crashing my life lel. Madoka was a relatable as fuck btw no self worth i can only be god for others and i chastise myself for wanting my own happiness call that a demon and repress it she took everyone's karma and was stuck in a loop of killing her witchform as Madokami. But i found a compromise i have to trust myself i'll still want to help people even after i awaken that i am not a piece of shit like i thought that i am just myself and that's okay you know i can trust in god like that. aand i felt super bad realizing oh shit i have been repressing god all this time how awful is that? >You still eating those? you got me no i am eating spines spines you hear! I had a moment where i ate intestines and shit but now it's mostly full spines. I was also high on weed focusing and was listening to music meditating and noticed it..the milk and honey..like syrup poured on my head. i am not sure how to explain my situation rn i'd say as if my whole body was being coated in sperm? my nerves especially an oil..gross I can feel how i block it, i can sense the flow in the spine, the base burning sometimes. That sperm substance coat more than the physical body btw so yeah fun ! What started it was keeping the sexual energy without "leaking" nofap/abstinence is useless without solving that imo. >You will have to find the way it flows and let it wash over you and not "act with it" don't deny it let it go through you and watch it how it moves some parts of your body as an observer.

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Oh yeah! i was gonna say "let the pain and shame wash over me" a few weeks ago. I know how to do that i just have too many attachments so i fuck myself cuz i think i don't deserve happiness or someshit. My journal is full of quests and i am scared progressing the story will make most of them unavailable. >I am unsure tbh. Feel like you have to shift through many forms so you can shed the "current human" (You) then finally see the force that ties you together. I am not sure what i am anymore or if it matters lol Ok so i discovered i could change the focus of a "len" and doing so change my alignment? and what kind of magic i have access. Currently i am more distant to my Drow self but closer to Angels and a knack for ritual magic which i hate in the other "focus". Getting data on the use of herbs saliva body fluids etc i am being guided by someone in the astral might talk about it later. Oh and this relates to what Shugara did to me and how when she's finished it'll be <as clothes to wear hard to understand her! >We just have to make some. Just Merlin their shit up and we have a round table. I think i would like that yes. >Like if you live in Latin America > Or whatever is happening in Brazil... or in Argentina. ROFL Would you believe me if i said the reason you think that is cuz i "wore" the egregore from that region? yeah like a cap with my cute ammonite needle/pin holding it together. I still gotta get a feel to it i just wanted to learn protuguese but then i was like "oh i like their DNA i wonder if i could.." then i was like "wtf is going on with peru lol". But yeah Argentina Peru Brazil seem interesting right now to me, i wonder.. I didn't do much i just grabbed that stuff and wore it but i didn't embody it yet it's useful to appear as one of them get their jokes etc Magic stuff ok plz no judge. On that note i got an idea of spell using the belief of others to power it up people have good opinion of me IRL cuz i am higher purity and it raises their level but then my contact on the astral said i am above that already and can just copy the belief they have in "husks" and use that for my spell instead of dirty connections that make me easy to change depending on what others think of me. Anyway i just wish people talked about this shit more in a way i would get it but yeah ears to hear eyes to see etc..i still suck at manipulating that kind of stuff >Is it really that bad? You ever watch Apocalypto? My life was kinda like that 1-3 paradise i remember 3-11 shit start hitting the fan 11-14 Diving deeper forgetting myself 14-16 slowly remembering 16-20+ Overcoming hell Yes i know what the movie is about the spine I want to kms everyday some days i want to gouge my eyes out too. But my life is better and there is still ways to progress and it makes for a better story when the hero start in bumfuckland and overcome the obstacles y'know. Now i'd say i am reaching a "return to heaven" even the colors look better and it feels nostalgic like i am a kid again. It's like everything have more life to it! >What if they could go "Up" more? What if there is something beyond paradise and this planet? I know i know i am just saying it's not fair people end up here with no preparation. Idk which layer we're operating on anymore tbh. I can tell you were addressing my subconscious more than my conscious all this time, you sure left some pearls!I'll reread those posts again and again. so idk which layer you're on and i don't want to look just yet but i am still walking and I'll reach there. I wanted to say i smelled you some kind of bell flower? batter? leaves and mud, of man and dad. I am not really in the mood for longposts i am having weird dreams again might share them here or in the other threads if it can help. I wonder if I'll be able to reach it soon and then i wonder what I'll really want to do!

A few things i'd like to mention. A snake lady appeared looked like orochimaru not a lamia and fed me from a Kodoku jar, she said she used to serve me; I am not sure if it's an enemy or ally yet as i do get attacked in strange ways but for now i got good data from the poison. I also connected to a race of slug like being after changing my "focus" happened after being interested in necromancy and realizing it was an external influence pulling me in; they correspond to the Sloads in TES and look like pic related. I only kept a weak link as i refuse to deal with them right now. The second image is interesting as i saw my body shift in one of these forms when i momentary lost my composure the other day.

Mouravieff's Gnosis

>>4179 10 years ago I found this page on /fringe/, and it informed much of my path from that point on. In fact, it describes one of the keys for successful magic. Turns out it's about page 30 of a 900 page work. Yet many a fool believes herself "awake" after watching a couple conspiracy videos and being an armchair magician for a couple of years.

>>4180 >believes herself "awake" I hated the moment when I learned the term "woke" then it spread as wildfire and how it destroyed the significance of the word "awake" the same way the significance of the rainbow flag was diminished with it. I don't think people consider themselves "awake" the same way as a decade ago. >watching a couple conspiracy videos and being an armchair magician for a couple of years Can't believe it got worse in the mainstream since that.

>>4179 Thank you for sharing.

>>3902 >Wondered if you managed to reach your "true feelings" or you are still swamped by the confusion. uggh this is gonna sound incomprehensible but.. Okay so the other day a friend was complaining about his work and other related stuff he was pretty depressed so i put my hand on his shoulder to encourage him he left for work and all was good. but then i realized what i did; no what i've been doing this the whole time I AM GIVING MY ENERGY TO PEOPLE! I am lifting them up when they are down; you told me to not to cleanse others without knowing how it affects me well i've been doing that since i was a child! I saw it too white mucus like things, like pussy juice or concentrated milk connecting me to others; how i feed them my energies to keep them going and i do that for everyone i care about; the issue is i care about the well being of literally everyone who isn't a lost cause; i can even have empathy for a rapist! I was so clouded by my self imposed self hate that i didn't even realize how much i helped them how much being around me change them. And now here i am barely holding on with a body that's crumbling. I was so bad the other day Helped 5 people around that i had to rely Gaia for help; i was close to dying; now i'm back to an acceptable level where the "karma" is around half my body which means anything make me want to puke outside of milk and fruits but at least i am alive. And i am realizing why i do that; i see humans as my children, i see it as my responsibility to show them how to be; but i am a human as well and i can't do that i am just betraying my human self biting more than i can chew. The suffering of others is something i can't look in the face without my heart being torn apart and it makes me angry so angry sometimes i wonder if ending them all wouldn't be mercy at least they would be safe! ofc it's not that simple. I am so kind i heavily punish myself for the tiniest thing; even here talking to you i considered it "going too far" by talking about my magic and processes and i suffer retribution! So i end up in a situation where i have to punish myself somehow or let the world punish me. And don't get me started on masturbation and sex i considered "evil" for the longest time because of my upbringing but even now when i do it i go months without i feel like i must heavily suffer. Those are very deep beliefs btw; shit that was put in here at 3-5 year old. Anyway i am realizing it is largely meaningless; that i am giving myself divine retribution for something others don't end up paying shit yes i know they do but there is no fairness it's a world of good enough for and then i help them to boot! I am preparing a ritual; breaking my shackles and remaking myself as a new being and cutting myself off of humanity for good. I'll still play human and i still want to help the children but it'll be done in a clear way where i don't lift a whole household from animal level and end up requiring rescuing myself! See that's funny i know how to lift myself but when your awareness get so low and you have no direct memories you're kinda fucked! Especially with low self esteem and "if people are mean to me it means i am trash they must be right" The idea is to just create a bod and making sure it follows what i want and be a changing body that can shapeshift and never get too lost that way. I am also using masturbation as a way to detect my flaws; which part is trying to punish me? why? where is my energy going? etc time to take responsibility. I might post how i do it when i fix all of this mess but no promise. I want to share some stuff about the spine i noticed the other day but rn i'll just suffer retribution for it, that's how dumb that shit is. Pict related is a sea angel a type of carnivorous sea slug; i got attracted to it for some reason.

>>4198 >yes i know they do but there is no fairness it's a world of good enough ughh i'll add it depends on the level you are on and there are layer of truths. understanding fairness as a human isn't really possible even if you take past and future lives into considerations as someone might get what they want lifetimes after lifetimes whilst other suffer heavily for minor transgressions. But it's done in a way to push their evolution and this can't be understood as it is an individual process as each spirit is different and terrible mistakes are sometimes "necessary" but even that cannot be understood and free will exist it all depend on which layer you are and trying to understand them here just bring anguish and confusion but even that can be necessary lol Basically "shit happens" and try to enjoy it whilst finding your truth" and not every experience is necessary but the understanding of it is. whatever i'll go change my mind more and see how much i can change myself. this is an unofficial good bye at least using this me or see you later. thanks for everything brother.

>>4199 >at least using this me. I haven’t been keeping up much with the thread, though o have been meaning to and read just the last several posts; you aren’t gonna die & reincarnate already, are you?

>>4202 He is trying to overcome his "ego" his "human condition" break his limiters that makes him commit foolishness that plagues his life. He is getting too impatient with himself. iktf damm too well. Just let him do his thing. >>4198 >uggh this is gonna sound incomprehensible but.. No it's not >I AM GIVING MY ENERGY TO PEOPLE! We all do man. The goal is to realize a balanced and healthy energy flow between all parties and this doesn't just include the mortals but the planet the other planes and the cosmos itself. >well i've been doing that since i was a child! Luckily they slowly broke that ability of mine as I grew up so I could only dispense hate and malice towards those that wronged me. Am still taking apart that miserable part of me. As much as he was effective overcoming obstacles he managed to become the greatest obstacle for myself. >how i feed them my energies to keep them going and i do that for everyone i care about I am sure you are getting something back in return you just don't know what to do with it. >the issue is i care about the well being of literally everyone who isn't a lost cause Wish I was that nice. For me it is a strange attraction and the requirements for them so I can care about them if they are "useful" or at least willing to stick around long enough or if they are "interesting" enough. If I can see someone who "does well" I leave them alone but if I know I can help I will do it either as a lesson value but mostly because "I can". I am really weird how I make my connections tbh. Sometimes I can just feel how incompatible and a burden establishing a connection would be so I leave it that way then in some cases it just happens and stays that way for quite the while. I really hate pretending and hiding my powerlevel tbh. I do if it's a must and I know I won't be interacting with the person long but if they are close to me then bad news I will fix some of their problems because they are blaring issues in some cases that no one told them. Like telling someone who constantly trips to tie their shoelaces tier advice in some cases. But for me the "people" are secondary. I realized how the environment how the energetic ecosystem shapes things actions behaviors and events constantly so I decided to focus on that and the people will follow the "vibe" anyway. Even if they are sentient or NPCs they will change with the environment. Everyone does and I require this change. One of my hardest lesson was accepting that I cannot "keep my own power within". I have to acknowledge that with internal changes the external changes too and the idea of "closed systems" is not "real" in this world of chaos theory and entropy. >i can even have empathy for a rapist! Drow are rapist sexuals. The females I encountered embraced my aggressive hostility so fast and so well my raging heart was finally calm instantly within seconds. I should go back to the girls again. I am having a breaktrhough with my aggression again and they are not just a mere outlet they desire this. It's amazing. I could talk about empathy more but our empathy is different. You just like the people around you man. I don't think that is bad. >I was so clouded by my self imposed self hate that i didn't even realize how much i helped them how much being around me change them. Oof yeah iktf too. I thought people want to kill me with their idiotism and would want to get rid of me if they could and was hard time accepting that they might care about me. Tho I hated them too not just myself. My hate was the only thing that kept me focused on their issues. Whenever I stopped that hate they lashed out on me for the most trivial reasons. It was like they hated if I didn't hate them. Realized that mentality comes from a deeper issue and started a greater project cleaning it from the collective conscious of the post soviet block. Do you ever get gifted the Shadow of Stalin and a soul shard of Mao as a sidequest reward? I am rebuilding the spirit connections that were overshadowed under communism and industrialism. So much anger and misery but I know that taste too well because i grew up breathing it constantly. I know the way but it takes time and if any westerner commie wannabe spits into the restoration he can taste the suffering of billions in the past 2 centuries. When you unclog energies they become quite "volatile" until you find a way to "settle them down". It's a complex alchemical process and I am trying to not make it explode in the face of those that annoy me for a while. It's not just about the restraint but the patience of the divine. Real hard to get it right as an incarnated mortal at the start >And now here i am barely holding on with a body that's crumbling. Hahahaha. Yes you are running out of "excuses" to keep your shoddy self together with all the misery kept inside. Have this Holding_on.mp3 >Helped 5 people around that i had to rely Gaia for help Only ask for otherworldy intervention in mortal matters when it is absolutely necessary. Mortal issues should be solved with mortal means. Reduce the energetic entanglement as much as possible. I had to learn that because in my initiate tier psychic years I used it for everything and I am still unfucking the consequences. >i was close to dying tf did you do? I cannot imagine your occupation bro. Like are you at a shipyard where you pack stuff for Latin American transports of something? I cannot put my finger what is keeping your "environmental routine suffering" together. The reason why I asked about your country is not because I want to send a contingent of glowniggers there but I lack the perspective of your situation. The images I get are too abstract and usually represent your "neighbor dimensions" and not the mortal landscape you walk within. But yeah only reveal as much as you comfortable with never more. I too might be revealing too much anyway but I stopped caring long ago. >which means anything make me want to puke outside of milk and fruits but at least i am alive. Oh. Yeah that is a "rookie mistake" when you try to literally "digest karma" the stomach can do that and it causes problems like that. Ofc my stomach is a warforge but even I use cosmic forces and forces of disintegration/recital if I can and always watch out for the energy investment it requires at the start. Funny thing when you resolve karma it can grant an extra amount of energy payback because all the trapped energy gets "free". But you must be through and not be blinded by the karma's "desire" to stay as it is and some of them are a real nightmare to recite. You know the mystic eyes of death perception from Tsukihime right? Every karma has a blaring antidote key or "weakness" that makes it crumble as it enters your awareness. Ofc awareness is the key and you must never become blind to it's illusions and lies. The wrong mindset can reinforce it while the right one grants it salvation. We make the world into a harsh place. It doesn't need to be that way but very few truly see it. Awakening is secondary tbh. The goal is the liberation it will grant from these absurdly idiotic shackles that the incarnated will have to suffer in the Kali Yuga no matter what. >And i am realizing why i do that; i see humans as my children That's a nice realization. Sadly I see them as mistreated barn animals in most cases. >i see it as my responsibility to show them how to be; but i am a human as well and i can't do that I know that damm feel damm too well man >betraying my human self Hahaha no. You are finally finding the true potential so you can shed the shackles of the "idea of a modern human" that was drilled into our skull since our birth that eats our lives and soul since the get go for no true benefit. >biting more than i can chew Was so weird noticing that the tension I had in my body appeared as the jaws of wolves biting my meridians. Canines can "jaw lock" when they are unable to let go what they bitten until biting it though or they finally "relax". I rarely accept things as "too big" or too hard. I just grow stronger teeth instead... ofc my lessons now letting things "break on their own as their cycle catches up with them" instead of being the tryhard that I was for many years. Why break things constantly when they crumble on their own anyway? No one can escape the weight of karma that they accumulated for themselves. The trick is finding the way that the karma breaks with the "origin cause" completely instead of plaguing things with a "karmic pyramid scheme" of eternal damnation. >The suffering of others is something i can't look in the face without my heart being torn apart I can thank Buddhism for this truth. This is important. Never ever help others if your main motivation is that their suffering causes you suffering. If you do it that way you will only solve the "surface suffering" without realizing the core issue and either get hit by the karma or just make their life worse without noticing. When you help others it must come from pure compassion no matter what. With pure compassion you can understand the full scope of the suffering and can grant a perspective that grant the complete recital of that karma. You will not "shoulder" it nor merely "block it" but become the other person COMPLETELY for a moment understand their pain and suffering completely then with your awakened and compassionate heart you will see a little glimmer of "out" from their cycle of suffering that they entrap themselves with and show them the way and maybe nudge them a little with a compassionate kick into the butt if it's truly necessary. It gets so weird and emotional sometimes. People rarely notice how much they torture themselves for no real reason. >i wonder if ending them all wouldn't be mercy If you cannot shed this thought I might talk about this further. It's not simple. Karma does not only exist in the flesh. And if you are the main cause of the breaking of their path then guess who "Inherits" that karma. But in some cases it's meant to be and grants a sort of "mercy". >at least they would be safe! You might awaken the sight that shows you the quality of the psyche of others. If you see that you will know what kind of "hell" awaits them after death. I rarely use it. Peering into that future is never kind. >ofc it's not that simple. We will talk about this for sure. It can be simple but for that you will need to master the "skillful means" How you can literally bait people to awaken from their slumber. Shame it requires perfect clarity the purest of hearts and the patience of the divine >I am so kind i heavily punish myself for the tiniest thing Yeah I too was biting my own meridians for being a "failure" without noticing and to keep myself on edge constantly.

>>4198 >even here talking to you i considered it "going too far" by talking about my magic and processes and i suffer retribution! Yeah I felt that. You mentioned that weird ball in your throat while posting in an another thread. That is a symptom of anxiety when you fear to express yourself in front of the "crowd". Your own shadow is strangling you to not let out something you shouldn't while not knowing what is that. I was playing music in my childhood and was in a band in my teens so stage fright is not an issue for me. Somehow it never was tbh? I knew I had to focus on playing the instrument so much that the audience rarely even had a chance to bother my awareness. Mostly because i hated practicing and I had this "do or die mode" most of the time. boy I hated playing those songs. Their message never resonated with me. Songs had too much pain and never passion in it. I hated it. >So i end up in a situation where i have to punish myself somehow or let the world punish me. How does that manifest for you? >And don't get me started on masturbation and sex i considered "evil" Yeah let's forget it now. That will be an another topic altogether. I had to realize how "Lust" is above "rage and hatred" and how that is an "improvement" but lust usually bores me and I usually switch to passion without noticing but passion and obsession is not the same at all and you rarely notice when they "change". Ofc for me it's easy to notice because when it's passion I am a God in the flesh and if it's obsession then I break my foot on a pebble... And if someone pushes me out of my passion then they can face the depth of my rage or maybe it was obsession on that stage already? Yeah. Not simple. >shit that was put in here at 3-5 year old. I remember when I accepted the process of "education" back in kindergarten. When I was not allowed to play outside anymore because I had to study. I resisted and rebelled ofc but when I seen even the dumbest retard can do it while I cannot sit still because I was "wronged" I accepted it and I remember when I started to read the paper and the task front of me something switched. I turned on the NPC mode. Half my mind went into NPC mode. Still taking that part apart. An absolute resource hog on my psyche that serves no benefit. When I obey those with no natural authority the only way I can do it by "lowering myself below their level" and with that my psyche deteriorates. Those who don't understand true authority might have hard time understanding this. Humility can bypass this but people don't understand what is humility nowadays. They think it's some constant need to hold back and accept the spread of every type of evil forced down their throat. Whatever times change. A new age is coming as it always does. >that i am giving myself divine retribution for something others don't end up paying shit Sorry man I am not seeing the actual problem you are referring now. Feels like you are flagellating yourself because you are "too kind/stupid" or something. But yeah these thoughts happen quite a lot in this stage. The mind just spins and tries to find excuses to hate and rage upon things until you are willing to solve them and let the energies rise. The energy overload makes them spin faster. It's a type of karma if you perpetuate it. >I am preparing a ritual; breaking my shackles and remaking myself as a new being You need like a lvl 2 buff but yeah it might feel like you are breaking the world apart as you cast it for the first time. Gambare! >cutting myself off of humanity for good Hahaha yeah if you consider these short lived short sighted meatbags around you as "human" then yeah you will have to cut away from it to have a high enough vantage point to see what is humanity truly about. >I'll still play human and i still want to help the children but it'll be done in a clear way Yeah. >See that's funny i know how to lift myself but when your awareness get so low and you have no direct memories you're kinda fucked! It's important to find the "ever present" awareness. Sometimes failing a task and giving up pursuing the wrong actions is the choice so you can find a perspective to fix things the right way. >Especially with low self esteem and "if people are mean to me it means i am trash they must be right" Are people that much of a cunts to you? My way is not really better because if they criticize me in a non constructive way my subconscious devises ways how I will get rid of them or their perspective and I am really trying to let go of it. Tho I am really not on the "low self esteem" scale because people need to be truly above me to have a chance to piss on my confidence and if I sense their weakness and rip them apart before even noticing. Something broke in me as a child that made me always think ahead of several steps so I can get rid of anyone who dares to become a problem no matter the situation and I am dismantling that. This hostile mentality just births an even more cruel world. >The idea is to just create a bod and making sure it follows what i want and be a changing body that can shapeshift and never get too lost that way The mind is formless. The body has a form. The body follows the will of the mind. Once you find what it truly means to be formless you will be able to master the forms you "reside over" (instead of thinking you reside only within). I could say more but your mechanism is different from mine. I can feel a powerful "lock" within you that shackles your body into this tense form you are speaking from now. >I want to share some stuff about the spine i noticed the other day but rn i'll just suffer retribution for it, that's how dumb that shit is. Oh this is your shadows doings then. Yeah it's better to solve some issues that to talk about it in some cases. I too only share a very little part of my problems because it's more simple to solve it than to write about it in most cases. >Pict related is a sea angel a type of carnivorous sea slug I too have many interdimensional sea creatures around. Greatest breakers of karma if you don't have elemental spirits at hand. >>4199 >understanding fairness as a human isn't really possible >even if you take past and future lives into considerations What if you can see the complete cycle of existence and turn that "sense of fairness" into an intuitive ability? It's possible but yeah you might not consider those beings that can do it as "human" anymore. It always saddens me. Humans not realizing just how much they can do and turn themselves into sg less than animals as a result. >terrible mistakes are sometimes "necessary" Mistakes into miracles! >free will exist it all depend on which layer you are What if you are at all the layers at once? :) >trying to understand them here just bring anguish and confusion For me it was too much fun for a while. Then I had to accept thinking too much is a harmful addiction because i can just simply "know" everything by default instead... stupid fucking NPC module get out of my brainstem reeee >not every experience is necessary but the understanding of it is Yeah my guides told me I am on the path of understanding and I can skip many parts if I truly willing to "Understand" and utilize myself in my true way instead of faulty preconceptions. >i'll go change my mind more and see how much i can change myself. Have fun! I change my mind like 3 times a day minimum nowadays. >this is an unofficial good bye YOU ARE SCARING THE KIDS BROTHER YOU MADE EGGANON WORRIED >>4202 YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY lmao srsly tho. Don't overdramatize it. That creates attachments and slows down the process. Just do it mang

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>thanks for everything brother. Your welcome. >>4107 >I can tell you were addressing my subconscious more than my conscious all this time, you sure left some pearls! I tried to address your potential. When someone suddenly starts to change you can see which parts of them "light up" and what blocks that light. If the words are said the right way the lightening continues. It's a practice to help others and a reason for me to revisit my own "basics" because I kinda rushed my own process and it's still incomplete. Wanted to write more but this is also too long already (as usual)

>忙 (いそがしい): This character combines the elements of 心 (kokoro, meaning "heart" or "mind") and 亡 (bou, meaning "to perish" or "to lose"). Together, they symbolize a state where one's heart or mind is overwhelmed or preoccupied, reflecting a sense of being busy or hurried. This has revealed a secret to me.

>>4202 Don't worry about me i am simply figuring it out who i truly am! >you aren’t gonna die & reincarnate already, are you? I am tired of that but the answer is both yes and no, i will always be there behind your heart and under your feet. >>4204 Do you remember who i am now? We want the same thing but we couldn't be more different! you could say we are the same! I remember you! not fully but i do! Do you feel it? the pain of the land? You are a dancer too! Will you betray me and come for my head? this time you will fall with me. You know i was wondering why you kept showing me trees, yes the tree is here i FEEL it but that's not who i am, i feel the roots i give birth to them i give them the black soil how could they refuse my cries? I think we can help each other remember brother. If you still don't understand i will bite you. Just a prediction :p It's up to you.

>>4834 >Do you remember who i am now? Yeah I kinda realized which posts you made at the end of the internet a while ago >We want the same thing but we couldn't be more different! you could say we are the same! I remember you! not fully but i do! You know I am thinking about something in the past weeks. I remember when I was looking into how the dragon will grant his authority in the end times. Was looking for a dragon to figure out which one they meant in the scriptures. I know to many dragons and none of them were that. So I found a dragon. He was so large his visage didn't even manage to manifest properly but he had great antler like horns Like Tooru in Maid dragon but more complex. He told me something. He told me he is "giving me his young dragon so I can show him the ways of the humans". I still have a form around that I can call the "essence of the young dragon" but since you appeared I am wondering if it has a deeper meaning or not. >I remember you! not fully but i do! Wonder which version of me you remember. I had and still have many. I do not shapeshift like you do but I evolve to test my mastery within this existence multiple times. Tho I think I am really taking it easy in the past incarnations for some reason. >You are a dancer too! Wonder which dance of mine have you smelled so far. My true dance didn't manage to manifest in this life yet. My legs are like trunks slowly coming back to life currently. >Will you betray me and come for my head? I have a feeling you will offer your head to me for some reason. Not sure why. >I think we can help each other remember brother. I hope so! And hope no one will mess the visions as they appear. Misunderstandings hurt more than blades in some cases. >If you still don't understand i will bite you. You know animals "play bite". Cats and dogs do that too and if you don't resist and they acknowledge you as "One of them" they won't bite through the skin but merely feel it. But when they are disturbed they bite through the skin because their frustration makes them think you are "prey" without noticing. When cats play with my family members they usually bite them but they rarely bite me. The only time a cat bit me when he was frustrated because someone was kicking him out of the house. Had to remind him what he is doing. They learn fast. I didn't have to say much once he snapped out of the negative energies he noticed that he did something wrong and stopped it. > Just a prediction :p It's up to you. Okay I will tell you something that I noticed in your nature in the past weeks. Your "main body" the "shapeshifter" looks like a big white being with small "flowers" on his body. They are not mere "flowers" but more akin gears that can mold and form you into a new being. In the last week your stomach is "opening up" and you are literally vomiting something black. That might be the curse you mentioned your family suffers constantly as they get cancer all the time. But that curse that energy is alive and I have no idea what it tries to do. What I can hear is that it says "Shatter your preconceptions" but I am unsure how it connects to you. Truth is I am unsure what to say. I too am going through a phase where I am noticing I am dissatisfied the way I post on fringe but I am unsure what is the direction I should go into. Time will tell. Btw you are still hiding your teeth fam... no your mouth is sealed shut... >Do you feel it? the pain of the land? Had to look at your land btw. Feels like it wants to vomit. Like a violent diarrhea of black miasma. Seems like the lethargy you felt is not yours alone. Seems like it is a great issue in your environment. >It's up to you. Activated some leyline markers there. Hope it helps you. Parts of your subconscious is like a screaming baby that was dropped into a puddle of dark oil and screams because it burns his skin constantly and think he will be consumed by it. Wonder what is the next step in your development tbh Srsly I am so dissatisfied the way I talk nowadays.

>>4840 >Yeah I kinda realized which posts you made :) >Like Tooru in Maid dragon but more complex This is something the adults have yes, I'll have them one day. > if it has a deeper meaning or not. Come on! you know what Dragons are! >Wonder which version of me you remember. Sorry i can't tell everything. >Wonder which dance of mine have you smelled so far. The spear Dance! You move your spear super fast and it turns into lightning and pierce everything! THE SUN! I only knew how to use a dagger i wanted to learn the spear too! but i can't learn it like you. You see me and think i can just do what you did to learn the spear but it's more like getting attacked by the spear so i get it. Ofc without a spear i can't even create one! Together this gives the sickle my ultimate weapon!..i won't talk further about this. >I have a feeling you will offer your head to me for some reason I am unsure it could very well happen or it's supposed to happen. It's something beautiful. >Cats and dogs do that too and if you don't resist and they acknowledge you as "One of them" they won't bite through the skin but merely feel it Yes! but there is more than one bite! Biting the ears is different, on the neck this is for submission you take control etc There is also the venom bite which can happen in any form where you bite till they get it you push it it gets worse you have to accept the pain. Or the licking of the face where you clean a juvenile/someone you love. >They are not mere "flowers" but more akin gears that can mold and form you into a new being Oh you seen the flowers? that's amazing! I have to realize that body my way. >but I am unsure how it connects to you. snek. >Btw you are still hiding your teeth fam... no your mouth is sealed shut... Yes it is and for a reason. >Seems like it is a great issue in your environment. I don't think you realize the catastrophe that is looming over. We still have time thankfully. >Activated some leyline markers there. Hope it helps you. Thanks! >Srsly I am so dissatisfied the way I talk nowadays. Nah tbh i am happy you talk like that! You need to be more honest instead of censoring yourself like this, you think i can't handle being fried with high energies? That's as much as i can share right now. But it feels nice that you understood it a little everybody is so blind. Another small dormancy period awaits me ughhh But i am glad i said what i wanted to say.

>Mars inferno >is a meteor from above >Literally "Hell from mars" or "Martian hell" >The human world is a martial(martian) hell >is used against a yin dragon >the dragon "eats" it >makes it climb the mountain >realize why I feel the need to be attacked by thunder This is making too much sense.

>>4913 Alright i have a better idea of what i am doing now. I am the moon chasing the sun, eating it but not consuming it i am the serpent eating the world giving birth to the next. I have a lot of trouble keeping these energies balanced as they climb though. But here the female climb first otherwise no movement is possible thanks to that i always know what i am doing even when i don't! But when i climb i now "hold" my male and understand that part by observing it. I can only somewhat explain previous steps. It's a path that has been lost , thankfully the ancient did leave some mnemonics! Next would be to understand the triskelion a trinity born of the marriage of the two energies. I also got a trident. I am explaining it in a way people here could somewhat understand it but i realize that's not really possible and it just anger me even more to create any kind of structure right now when i should just unleash myself so i can handle more sun instead of trying and failing to copy the sun. Honestly i wouldn't even share that if i wasn't so pissed off that everything out there is about <making love to the snake so that it gives it's secret but what if YOU'RE THE SNAKE? yes just need to realize it believe in yourself connect to the moon thanks Sariel etc Ofc too much of that and you sink back to primordial water, need to find a way to accept the sun without being enthralled by it. I am somewhat still censoring myself as i feel this place isn't yet ready for that kind of energies yet. Posting this count as a "bite" btw revealing some secrets coated in venom i have after all two hands here.

This is honestly frustrating. I wanted to share some weapons I made maybe we can all do that and learn from each other but..maybe I just need to get good. I'll explain the source of my frustration. For example this thread it exists somewhere on a server there is also a backup somewhere, it also exists in our browsers cache, in some archives but also on other planes of reality including our memories. Then there is the whole idea of fringe the egregore..so how many layers here? Can I access everyone's subconscious here because they exist in my memories? If I just say "the anon who wrote this" and point my finger can I get their life story? Is there some place that connect /fringe/ boards through time and space? Maybe even timelines? Everything influence everything. But this worries me a bit what could someone higher lvl then me could do with a spell I shared? Get a perfect copy of the me who made it a the time? Or perhaps just the energies involved and what they connect to? Maybe I decide I really like some anon and make a doll with their personality to keep me company in the astral. Maybe it's meaningless as we connect to many things at once without necessarily being these things, I could think myself as a Japanese long enough to develop a kind of identity and people here could think I am a jap. I could even do stuff like make "knots" where I am butthurt about something that actually has no relation to me IRL. So someone smart could just sanitize their mind before posting and change their identity maybe to a point where they believe their lies? Wouldn't that change their DNA if they go too far? Let's say I cast a spell on someone who am I doing it on? If they can shed their identity can the spell just "stick" to that instead? I know a lot of people have some basic protections even if they don't believe in magic but I wonder. Something else I started making more complicated energy strictures again, like tornadoes and ever moving stuff to train myself but noticed I could use different part of my brain and at some point it's hard to tell if it's my brain a spirit a fragment of myself not incarnated or just the raw material obeying. I am also coming to term that I need to let the process happen and not identify with the good or bad of it but also spirituality isn't like materialism am not pilling up a bunch of techniques it's more like higher awareness give birth to any technique if need be. But...mm I wonder what kind of "ways" we made for us to remember when we "fell" here no I know it's just..maddening BTW this thread is really different like a shell within a shell? Bubbly shell in bubbly shell. Each thread has a flavor profile this one is like..circles? I am posting it here because I feel this too hazardous now but it also means less people can "benefit" from it..

>>5029 >If I just say "the anon who wrote this" and point my finger can I get their life story? Yes, try it. >But this worries me a bit what could someone higher lvl then me could do with a spell I shared? Get a perfect copy of the me who made it a the time? They could do that regardless of if you shared the spell or not. >Maybe I decide I really like some anon and make a doll with their personality to keep me company in the astral. Personality is just data, it's not the Soul. >So someone smart could just sanitize their mind before posting and change their identity maybe to a point where they believe their lies? Yes but insanity is more important than cleverness. Dissociation. >Wouldn't that change their DNA if they go too far? Yes but that requires commitment. Also most insane people have big schisms between their physical and mental selves. Multiple personalities. >Let's say I cast a spell on someone who am I doing it on? If they can shed their identity can the spell just "stick" to that instead? Yes that's how it works most of the time when you cast spells on anons. >I am also coming to term that I need to let the process happen and not identify with the good or bad It's like falling asleep. Lucidity is a cycle. >BTW this thread is really different like a shell within a shell? It's protected by "inauthentic shitposting".

Even spells to erase myself from someone's memory are possible it's just a matter of where. Could I drop off from the world like this? To a point where no connections hold me any longer, what about the human egregore? What would I be then? Creating a different race is possible then.. Tbh I noticed it now how I am less "visible" as if I passed a veil I can still interact with everyone but to some it's like I am not really there they can't really look at me. Even here I made a "personality" into people's minds I could erase that, would I be forgotten then? I still wonder how to keep connections the "right" way. Wait..what even is a spell IT'S JUST THINKING???

>>5029 >Each thread has a flavor profile this one is like..circles? Yes, that's what it is. I placed this "hadron collider" on this incarnation of /fringe/ via this thread to stabilize it. It's on this thread more notably, but it's placed as a stabilizer on the egregore of the board overall. The next step is to spread the second one, here called "cult". It's for creating small protective circles, I use it on my ritual space before spellcasting, also when outside. Easiest is to just draw a circle on the ground and stand inside it, but it works online also, get it from the sigil if interested. Best use here is maybe to put it on individual threads, where it will create a contained safe space where it's also possible to share items. When using it to create chat groups it may result in the manifestation of a temporary astral table where items can be shared.

>>5030 >try it Let me explain why i don't do that. I am scared this would kill them, connecting to someone means either accessing them through the idea i have of them, that's fine but not very reliable. Or i can become them, ofc pulling out then means "killing myself" or keeping it but accepting a level of influence over them like a "split mind" effect and this means helping them with their karma. Best case scenario i have minor influences worst i just turned someone insane. Overriding someone personality isn't a joke if they can't handle it. >They could do that regardless of if you shared the spell or not. Right but how? I feel people here have very different methods and somehow they can do that in an "opposite" way from mine. >Personality is just data, it's not the Soul. Yes but it does grant you a level of influence if they didn't develop that kind of identity i mean even here who knows what their soul really is? >Yes but that requires commitment. Honestly might do that soon. >Yes that's how it works most of the time when you cast spells on anons. I am saying i can access a deeper part but that it spooks me if i can rekt people just by thinking too hard about them. >It's like falling asleep. Lucidity is a cycle. the spiral goes up and down but it's a continuity, first thing my guides showed me. >"inauthentic shitposting". I put a lot of soul in my posts even when it's impulsive D: >>5034 >It's on this thread more notably, but it's placed as a stabilizer on the egregore of the board overall. Oh... I wonder how many anons did something like that and how many of the spells got accepted by /fringe/ Do you know if one of your spells it got accepted or not?

>>5036 >I am scared this would kill them, connecting to someone means either accessing them through the idea i have of them, that's fine but not very reliable. Or i can become them, ofc pulling out then means "killing myself" or keeping it but accepting a level of influence over them like a "split mind" effect and this means helping them with their karma. Best case scenario i have minor influences worst i just turned someone insane. Overriding someone personality isn't a joke if they can't handle it. I realized that the way to solve this is to cultivate my "spirit form". A form which is pure spirit. It knows nothing has nothing is nothing. It's pure nothing. You might say it's only "awareness" but no not even my own mortal concept of awareness is within it. You might call it the "holy spirit" but no it is far purer. If you can take a form that "Influences nothing" then you can see everything as it is instead of becoming a blinding light or an all consuming shadow. That way you don't "touch" or "taint" anyone. You just acquire the original "Pure observer" state that many spirits use IRL. They cannot effect anything but can see everything. There are many spirits like that and they can tell many things but not always in a satisfactory way because they cannot "relate" what it means to be an ignorant live or die walking flesh most of the time. The problem ofc is that to retain memories form my "spirit form" I have to purify my own mind otherwise the information is "so light" it cannot have any bearing on my memory recollection ability. Also I am still full with prejudices. The information will have to adhere to my prejudices and if it cannot find a way into my mind it gets rejected. >I wonder how many anons did something like that This thread is protected by so many factions it's ridiculous. >>4847 >You need to be more honest instead of censoring yourself like this working on it... >you think i can't handle being fried with high energies? It's more complex than that. Personally nowadays I have a problem internalizing my own energies. They are not "high" nor "low" they are just energies. But I have to witness the many parts of my psyche that is not "mine". Like this thought pattern belongs to dad this emotional pattern belongs to mom this idea came from my elementary school years that I disregarded in highschool and I built a whole persona upon it thus the "discarded idea" counts as a "cornerstone idea" in the chain of cause and effect... Truth is if I write my stuff properly it causes a butterfly effect but now I am just seeing my own internal maelstrom and all the hubris it trashes around because I cannot find the original intention behind it and what is it's "correct form". It's not just about you. Whenever i learn different energetic healing methods I just see how easy is to fuck it up. I am too unfocused and unsteady. Probably will get through it in a week or 2.

>>5040 sup bro! >If you can take a form that "Influences nothing" then you can see everything as it is instead of becoming a blinding light or an all consuming shadow. Remember what i said before? <behind your heart and under your feet What if i told you i was your heart? the land you walk on? no really your body i just don't want to remember yet maybe i want you to remember first? That's all I'll say about this for now. thanks for the idea I'll see how to make that kind of uh formless form? >This thread is protected by so many factions it's ridiculous. yeah lol i remember when i cast that spell and it was like i became one with many spirits and my hand was their hands...it's beautiful. >They are not "high" nor "low" they are just energies. Yeah but we're CURRENTLY beings of contradictions and duality. That's how you walk no? one feet after the next. Ofc it might seem you are unbalanced but mm it's about dancing more than walking tbh, you learn to know your partner this way. >this thought pattern belongs to dad this emotional pattern belongs to mom this idea came from my elementary school years that I disregarded in highschool and I built a whole persona upon it > thus the "discarded idea" counts as a "cornerstone idea" in the chain of cause and effect It's like knots and strings to me, you pull one you pull many at once, you learn to observe them. Ofc you could go scorched earth and just burn everything but you'd deal with the resultant chaos at once and that's hard to handle. It's like a backlash of karmic energies pulling you in all directions and if you don't stand your ground with pure awareness..no even the ground dissapear.. it's very bad! > Whenever i learn different energetic healing methods I just see how easy is to fuck it up Tbh we're different here so idk if any of my stuff could help for me it's more like a trust in myself in that i can handle everything any fuck ups i can handle.. OH LOL! Ok you need to get your female form going to handle that and trust in her so that she develops and can "catch you" if you go too far no matter what. You can't trick her but you also can't expect her to be like you or think of her as someone who needs protection but also ugh just learn how to deal with your female. Ofc you have an issue with females and purity i think? so maybe you forgot what a "high female" is? The thing is she could be scared and don't advance because she thinks you won't accept her when she "returns".. so you're stuck in the >tfw no gf to handle my male :( i won't spoil too much but you have to help her by accepting her fully no matter what! it takes two to dance! I am saying this because this a very dangerous step you're doing if you "run away". > I am too unfocused and unsteady. Same but i am finding a stability in it, something that doesn't move no matter the storm. >Probably will get through it in a week or 2. Take your time!

>>5055 >Remember what i said before? Truth is I wanted to write quite the long posts to your previous replies especially after seeing how you connect to the neighbor leylines you have around you... made sense why you feel an absolute hatred towards society and why you feel it emanating from the land. But that is an another long topic. <behind your heart and under your feet Yes you are accessing a layer. This is your "poetic phase". Personally I suck with it. I am learning it. I have completely nonsensical dreams with events and people are tied together with 0 logic or with minimal symbolism... the only thing that is constant there is a "feeling"... a feeling that I should "get" otherwise I am stuck in this "intellectual wizard" stage which is great for writing grimoires after grimoires but not enough for "true magic". I like the way you develop tbh. Reminds me what I lack. This was one of my intention while resurrecting fringe. Getting people that inspire my (or others) pacing. >What if i told you i was your heart? the land you walk on? no really your body i just don't want to remember yet maybe i want you to remember first? I am still too angry. I cannot connect the layer you speak of yet. Just tried and a dark snake hissed in anger. That hissing is still part of my base nature that "keeps me together". Takes time to mellow it. >thanks for the idea I'll see how to make that kind of uh formless form? You purify it constantly. If it turns into pure nothing you observe it and notice the things that will start appear as "things" and if anything tangible appears then you purify it further and go as long as you can consider yourself "yourself" without getting blown away with the wind... or you go and get blown away by the wind. This form of mine also intercepts weird dreams and communications while I sleep. Takes effort to pull it back as I receive random events and communications I have 0 relations to and I cannot even ask "what does it mean" because I just got washed there and it doesn't even have a "deeper meaning"... besides that I am learning to not look for deeper meaning within everything... Had to realize I have a complex for that. >yeah lol i remember when i cast that spell and it was like i became one with many spirits and my hand was their hands...it's beautiful. Many spirits just came and put a protection upon me out of nowhere. I had some energies put into the post while writing it but didn't expect it to serve as an energetic beacon from the get go... I have so many thread ideas like this. I should get out of my slump already. >Yeah but we're CURRENTLY beings of contradictions and duality. Don't remind me. Just going though the realization how every thought have an "anti-thought" within you so you can "switch" whenever you want to exercise your free will. And the goal is to go behind that duality and find a "3rd position" that is both of the choices and none of them at all and once you have that you see that also has a "shadow" and once you unite that then you have "proper clarity" but... it makes me realize that the human mind is not as easy to switch as I did in my previous psychic years. >That's how you walk no? one feet after the next. Ofc it might seem you are unbalanced but mm it's about dancing more than walking tbh, you learn to know your partner this way. Yes... now here is the thing. You can "set a course" and then you don't "walk it" but your legs merely follow it the best they can and if your energies are clean and proper your legs will move with the most efficient least resistance way. Like your legs will be so fast you won't even see if it's a single leg or a hundred. A sort of Wu Wei realization but it's more complex because it's not you "walking" but "reality moving at once". The loss of control annoys me because I cannot accept that I am in full control. >It's like knots and strings to me, you pull one you pull many at once, you learn to observe them. Yes >Ofc you could go scorched earth and just burn everything but you'd deal with the resultant chaos at once and that's hard to handle. I do that every decade. It is called a "phoenix crisis". People with strong plutonian aspects have it according to a horoscope I found real helpful once. The problem is that I realized even in high school when it was merely "mental play" and was unaware of my psychic nature that "scorched earth" only burns things that are above the ground. Roots and seeds remain. But I knew I will be able to handle it so I didn't pursue it further. Had to be a high school kid after all. In the past years I found the "true depth" that goes beyond the earth but... you cannot break apart the bedrock that simply. Volcanoes erupt and continents break apart. Sometimes necessary sometimes... my demon aides come from hell to save my energy centers because I forgot how to generate my own energy subconsciously in my destruction frenzy. That was the moment when I thought it's time to slow down. >It's like a backlash of karmic energies pulling you in all directions and if you don't stand your ground with pure awareness..no even the ground dissapear.. it's very bad! Yeah... tho I made the ground disappear several times but I realized how I can levitate... then seen the darkness below my feet and realized I don't have a necessary calm for those places yet. >Tbh we're different here so idk if any of my stuff could help for me it's more like a trust in myself in that i can handle everything any fuck ups i can handle.. I get you and for me it's a little more specific. I know when I am in the "zone" and I can hear my mind "booting up" when I get close... the problem is that I became aware of the "error messages" within my psyche. Like I have missing components like "a desire to live" and a "reason to increase my incarnation level". I still crave destruction while knowing if I enacted it I will regret it. With this contradiction I cannot proceed further. Whenever I notice my contradicting thoughts a meridian twitches through my entire body. My nerves need some rest. I need to stop this constant antagonistic contradiction for myself and towards the world all the time. >Ok you need to get your female form going to handle that and trust in her so that she develops and can "catch you" if you go too far no matter what. I have several female forms. The divine one rarely manifest and I am too impure to it's energies and I feel unworthy for her. I have some of my past incarnations and when I let them enter my mind I get disgusted by the current state of the females. They were good women good wives and one was even a nun that did a little meddling on the astral because my male psyche shattered and it had to be pieced together in a past life incarnation. They are here but their "job" is unclear to a degree. Then here comes my "lower females"... those are mostly made up from energies that are inspired by my family. I am strangling them by reflex. Makes me aware that there are many things I didn't manage to "solve" in my family. Things improve step by step but I am still angry about many issues. You are not fixing 100 years worth of karma within 2 weeks at the beginning. They take years. Especially if it turns out the karma is on "societal level" and not a mere family issue. >think of her as someone who needs protection Well as much as females "Need protection" "mine" doesn't really "need it". They know how to leverage the forces around them. It was one of the harshest lesson I had to learn when I incarnated on earth in female form for the first time. A shadow was coming after me and it was not my "enemy" it was a part of me that was meant to haunt me for quite long and learning to use that darkness was when I was "accepted" as my "own incarnation", A long story with many plotholes so I dislike talking about it. >ugh just learn how to deal with your female. This is the thing. I can do that but I have to improve my "male side" with it too and I had to realize how much misconception we have about the human body and "self improvement". Truth is I can think like a female. Really hate doing it but I can think like that. The problem is that i have to let go of a special kind of hatred that none of my minds can handle. >Ofc you have an issue with females and purity i think? Truth is I have a problem with my own internal purity. >so maybe you forgot what a "high female" is? You see there was time where I got the message that "don't masturbate and the energies will flow" from a high female I discovered. The energies were so pure and so potent I started to lose control of my body and my psyche... made me realize that I cannot keep doing this. Made me realize I was unable to manifest my "high male" in this life. For some reason I grew up with the misunderstanding that "being a male" means being a constantly struggling grizzled veteran that can overcome everything by sheer willpower and deserve no happiness. I forgot how much fun is being a man. Had to reconnect to my female parts to realize that. >The thing is she could be scared and don't advance because she thinks you won't accept her when she "returns" Haha. No. "acceptance" is not the issue. The problem is "willingness". For some reason I thought spirituality will be like a constant uphill battle against all odds all entities all forms of adversaries where I will have to prove my worth constantly... it didn't occur me that I just need to "feel it" and "get it" and how it can be simple as hell and the arduous path is mostly for blockheaded and for those with deep karma. I have problem accepting "How easy it can be". k fine it's acceptance. but I meant more of a "blending of wills" in a way. >tfw no gf to handle my male :( yeah wish that was the only issue. Whenever I realize how i could get a gf I realize that I don't want one. Like looking at donuts makes you want them but after buying one and tasting it makes you aware what an absolute waste of money it was. But now you bought it and eat it because otherwise it would be a waste and maybe throwing it out would have been healthier...Didn't eat a single donut for like 10 years but now that I wrote this down I want one FUCK >i won't spoil too much but you have to help her by accepting her fully no matter what! Easy to say but... the problem is not my female part but the "Male part" that she is also overseeing and that part is not exactly incarnated within me yet. Demons fucking hate that part of me because it rapes their mind. This is why I don't get astral bitches nowadays by default. >it takes two to dance! Yes but I am still unwilling to hear the music. >I am saying this because this a very dangerous step you're doing if you "run away". I am not exactly "running" I am being a morose and angry asshole deep within my psyche that rather punches and strangles others instead of hugging them. Takes time to sublimate that part. >Same but i am finding a stability in it, something that doesn't move no matter the storm. That's the "eye of the storm". In the center of the storm there is pure stillness. If you can stay in the center the storms will devour everything else but you. My problem is that I know how to be in the center but some parts of me don't know it or don't even want to be in the center. They have a deathwish but they are unwilling to die! So I have to find out why they want to die and why are they fearing that "death" if they crave it so much. Fucking mortal emotions I swear. >Take your time! Will do! Hope my grumblings are not too exhausting. They are more like "excuses" instead of actual problems. They are on a mere perspective switch away and solved. So hard to turn your head with a broken neck tho. Just found out how the chest connects the neck and the hand and ouch. There was a big karmic block there and still not fixed completely. Energy body is dropping bricks out again

I sure love to witness myself get annihilated on a cosmic scale watch myself split apart just to realize that the only thing that slows down my awakening is my own indomitable stubbornness... Parts of me scream in terror while other parts of me desire pain so much because they equate pain as a necessary catalyst for awakening for some reason. I had to realize that I consider the mortal flesh as a "mere compromise" and I am still not acknowledging it as a proper vessel. If I don't accept my body I cannot actualize it further... For some reason accepting my imperfections is more painful than actual pain. Always had the way to circumvent my weaknesses and now I have to accept them again then stop shielding them with my psychic might. Some years ago I had to realize that I have to cultivate the desire to not use my psychic powers to not abuse them when mere impulses overtake my mind. That was a harsh lesson because the only reason I care about magic and everything else was to attain and develop my own psychic powers further. And now here comes the next lesson where I cultivate death within and without so I can finally accept it's calm and silent nature for what it is. I desire change like nothing else but I have hard time accepting it in some cases. Pain is a friend. He reminds you that you are alive he reminds you that you are retarded. I will have to let this friend sublimate within already. I do not benefit from it as much as before. I found the "dark alloy" parts of my body. The place where the spirit and the physical connect. Cleaning connecting wiring and activating it grants the powers. I had to hear it say <I don't feel safe because weakness angers me and I rather kill myself than to be weak. It was so long ago when I was an angel of death. Can't believe I am remanifesting it for no real reason again. I will have to figure out what is my purpose with this awakening already or my older elements will try to sway me again. The burden of the physical is so harsh so heavy... but we make it harsh and heavy... we just don't see it.

Magical development is less like weight training and more like gradually solving a very large and complex math problem.

>>5300 I consider it a puzzle. Find the right pieces put them together and never force the parts that don't fit effortlessly.

>>5300 When I have indigestion, my nightmares involve solving large and complex math problems.

>>5058 >made sense why you feel an absolute hatred towards society and why you feel it emanating from the land It's not just hate it's more like realizing i shoved down my nature at a very young age as it was incompatible with this whole "being modern human" thing and created an autistic persona as it was the only way to act human enough around people and my own family. I feel alienated from it all i could never conform to this it's just asinine how this is considered normal. The funny thing is that there is layer of that realization layers and layers so many of them, so some people start scratching the surface in their teenage years "fuck society" type shit but then conform into a drone and even if they're aware "as long as i have my family :)" bs But for me the whole thing is wrong i could never play this modern human i just hid myself long enough to get a chance to emerge once all things are clear. tbh even here i do it just "much less" so it's closer to a real "me" but it's also just an outer layer to interact with people the thing is i am absolutely terrified of being alone so if people here judged me and stopped talking to me i might collapse on myself and turn into something evil.. But i have hidden plans for everything it seems so i wouldn't be surprised if a me hidden away somewhere appeared to "kill the beast" with a spear of thunder and flames if that happened. I feel so lonely cuz no one gets me and so i have to interact with what they think of me or something acceptable. Spirits do the same if you expect a goat demon that's what will come, a beautiful girl? a talking horse? anime character? sure! but that's taxing and there is always the risk of dirtying yourself or getting rekt by the human cuz he freaks out. But yeah layers layers, some of it you're conscious some of it is very deep. Like how someone from the astral plane isn't that hard to talk to but someone communicating from the mental plane is creepy as fuck to a human because it feels like having no free will even though it's not true you just don't have a good awareness of that area and think of it in humans ways..ugh >This is your "poetic phase" I was gonna talk about how the male and female selves interact how it's like two clans of many different selves, how it's like a lady and captain in a raging sea both being essential if you ever wanna get out, how it used to be a fleet and now it's only one ship for me but also the sea is..and the gods really are..ugh cant say that now How one can overpower the other or use the other and how you can fuck up like that..but i am tired > I have completely nonsensical dreams with events and people are tied together with 0 logic or with minimal symbolism Logic? which one? Dream logic is still logic, it's just the rule of that realm each realm has it's logic.. but symbolism is weird, it just means what it means on the moment, it use the most used/recent pathways shit you can connect to y'know? even if just subconsciously. Personally what matters is how i feel after the dream, i then unravel that feeling and try to get a lesson. I feel gross why? i feel scared why? it's so spooky i don't even dare look at it?? why? then there are distractions but it's like traps in thinking, super annoying stuff. Like you get close and a music come in your head or you remember something important or whatever man, it's just part of it, a head sprout every time i cut one fking hydra! Some of them take you for a ride too but it's also done "willingly" on some layer, btw you have a talent to snap me out of it. > I am stuck in this "intellectual wizard" stage which is great for writing grimoires after grimoires but not enough for "true magic". The thing is i got mad at writers of occult books for either not getting their future readers or trying to shove their thinking into my throat not leaving any leeway to the student...but They are product of their time y'know? i was thinking if i was born in the 20th century maybe i would have liked being part of an occult brotherhood or whatnot, maybe i would have seen society as something necessary and progress as being good, maybe i would have enjoyed my life too? But i notice it with people my age this absolute alienation from everything, this feeling of "there is no fixing this let's go back to nature" "i want no part in this" etc So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. It's kinda like the gods the ancients text and stuff it speaks to a particular subset of people where you start being attracted to a particular god for "some reason", but also we can make use of it but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning but to the people of the time it was perfect for their level but now the humans are even dumber so you need to spell it out and hit them in the head and be super mean or else they want to kills u it's also why people don't believe in good gods anymore. But anyway basically calling the earth "mommy Gaia" might have awaken up some old initiation thing process? The gods as a map? Oh look it's Artemis whatcha doing in my head i thought it wad Demeter time wdym you're me?! Don't blame me i like sardines and olives. >Just tried and a dark snake hissed in anger yeah there are many of those...btw i realized we are different so i am not even trying to look at you or anyone else so i am just gonna share my view on things. >besides that I am learning to not look for deeper meaning within everything Tell me about it! The thing is i am realizing i am maintaining society in a way and if i stop expecting it thing start to somehow "collapse" like if i don't expect a building to be here it might be different next time and how i am like a kid holding the dirt kicking and screaming and saying "NONONONO!!" but anyway painful stuff tbh. >Just going though the realization how every thought have an "anti-thought" within you so you can "switch" whenever you want to exercise your free will. And the goal is to go behind that duality and find a "3rd position" For me it's more like, y'know a visual novel. you can choose a route but the others are in the code of the game also. So really all choices are made and not made and how when i awaken i can even unmake my mistakes, like a layered cakes, all actions happened but they are unmade and remade by the divine but mistakes aren't even..ugh It's all an illusion anyway but god's power are making sense now. >it makes me realize that the human mind is not as easy to switch as I did in my previous psychic years. I wanna upgrade it, i wanna play around with the kids but like how i want y'know? but also i am benevolent so..wanna be good to them at their level one day i think? idk what am i tbh I don't wanna float away i wanna be everywhere and nowhere i want to enjoy myself in myself. >you cannot break apart the bedrock that simply. Volcanoes erupt and continents break apart.

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Yeah i need a deeper understanding, it's all the elements like understanding what is rot? what is fermentation? what is behind it all? How does the universe "dies"? how is it "born"? It's making that whole thing internally and it become externally also and it become one and boom bam god! > You can "set a course" and then you don't "walk it" but your legs merely follow it the best they can and if your energies are clean and proper your legs will move with the most efficient least resistance way. I mean yeah that's what we're doing no? following a plan of our "higher selves" lol It's just that i lost contact with that layer and am only now starting to understand it better. You can't hear much under a ton of shit..but that's also within the plan of an even higher layer! >The loss of control annoys me because I cannot accept that I am in full control. You are you're just not aware of it! Basically like you're you and that's okay! No seriously it's hard af but also the easiest thing ever. >tho I made the ground disappear several times but I realized how I can levitate... For me it's more like realizing this body is just a construct anyway but still "precious" and how everything is alive and how i can remake myself from any materia by evolving the roots or dirt and shit into usable form. like yeah i can be destroyed but i could remake myself from your heart if you're dirty enough you'd accept my cleanse ! That's why i need to really internalize the purification, though i also have to stop being a loner and realize that it's ok to be helped by spirits that i am helping them too and that i can learn from them that i am not my current actions or mistakes it's about not rejecting myself in others etc etc I became a tree the other day and made friend with one he gave me the title "keeper of the trees" told me to use that "title" if i am ever attacked by nature funny guy btw he had a part missing and i wanted to curse "badly" the person who did that but he made me calm down. >I know when I am in the "zone" and I can hear my mind "booting up" when I get close Well i got behind the awareness observing my thought and then idk my mind just started doing the right things to cleanse me proper but also was spooked at how it wasn't "me" doing it..practice.. >Whenever I notice my contradicting thoughts a meridian twitches through my entire body. My nerves need some rest My body almost shut down on me the other day, my sclera was grey and i felt like dying so i really needed to take the time to rest. For me real resting is like just letting the energy flows without judgment without stopping it but also with a faith in myself that i can handle anything and everything it's not even "rest" it's painful af but after that i felt alive for the first time in decades. >They were good women good wives and one was even a nun <“A flower raised in a greenhouse is still beautiful, even though it knows no adversity. But a flower growing in the field that has braved wind, rain, cold, and heat possesses something more than just beauty. It's form Higurashi. I mean look at us we could all be good in the golden age but shining in the shit age is what's really impressive! Everything degenerated and even though i am furious about it i also pity them because they can't handle it but us here we have potential we believe in ourselves more and more and little by little we shine through the shit without losing ourselves! >They are here but their "job" is unclear to a degree. This one is funny, when i was idk like 14? i was gonna make some servitors fill them up with all my current knowledge so that if i die they join me back in my next life.. Imagine my surprise when it's happening in this life.

>>5058 > A long story with many plotholes so I dislike talking about it. Yeah there are many things i don't like talking about but i am still unsure why. I am more confident but still so lonely.. >I have problem accepting "How easy it can be". k fine it's acceptance. but I meant more of a "blending of wills" in a way. Need to somehow satisfy all the selves even if some just want to die lol. But it wasn't easy no? fighting this conditioning to even start thinking "hey maybe magic is real" even that took decades! For me it's easy in the sense that it's the most natural thing ever, it's literally our purpose as humans, it's hard in the sense that this world is rotten but also part of the all and also find god in it lol. That's why for me it's a natural process i have to get where all variation from the natural course can be explained with a natural strife for balance when this plane reach such a state only a god can fix it..but uh y'know i think of this era like a harvest festival but..painful to talk about. >don't masturbate and the energies will flow That's a general advice so i'll just talk about it but like it's hard to tell people what to do without turning into dogma and it's a case by case basis unless you follow a system. But sex can make or unmake you, some people lose themselves in it so it's better to tell them to limit it so they don't fall back into animals and get more chances as humans, but also someone who cuts it and be like "god this god that" just float to a better realm and fall back here eventually which is crap. But like for me it comes with the development of a white kirin horn as male essence it's made from condensed sperm in a way that way i always have a bit shooting upward but also a tail that reach deep as a downward spiral but also the acceptance of female aspect of sexuality fully which is only available in a succubus form but i need access here to be whole and fix this human half animal half god bs which awakened some crazy sexuality where i want to be raped but also conquer the rape with sex which after further understanding make the horn and tail work together to "eat the lust" but that's also a half truth and it's a kind of fall over the lust and drool but also keep the goal in the higher mind bridging the gap and flowing the energies up.. now it's a matter of clearing the blockages and curses placed on me as i feel the base of my spine burn in a crazy internal orgasm but need to clear the river for it to reach higher.. and yes it burns it almost hurt but fuck it feels like the best thing ever. I was relaxing the other day trying to heal my left side, put some creamy white slime structure and it gave me a white lion tail then a fiery tail and now it's a demon tail doing a downward spiral to the underworld. but yeah that's the idea, i don't care if i am making a mistake right now that's how i learn and i know i can handle everything, i can somewhat "sense" the future already it's just a matter of handling it and the first step here is to fix this shame and activate my sexuality in whole and there is layer of it layers and layers spheres withing spheres the chakra system is useful but that's like a 3D shadow of layers within layers. > the problem is not my female part but the "Male part" that she is also overseeing and that part is not exactly incarnated within me yet My idea was to "eat" the male with the female but idk yet tbh. It's hard to understand. Maybe we need alchemists to decipher it kek. >will devour everything else but you But bruh what am i? I don't know where my minds ends and other begins! It's spooky! Everything is me and not me at once, talking to normies give me the feeling of talking to a servitor i make on the spot i can feel myself in them! i am even getting a taste in how the astral "descends" into physical now necessary for shapeshifting and any creation/manifestation but bruh.

>>5295 >because weakness angers me and I rather kill myself than to be weak It's ok to be weak it's ok to cry it's ok to have a fucking tantrum on the internet that one is for me You process all the emotions and see through it/behind it you hold it like a child in your awareness it's you it's from you but it's also not you! But what i want to say is me too have to meet and fuck then become death but also we truly are the divine and there is no mistakes in god.something like that. Ok basically be yourself! But seriously so many traps in thinking so many knots and loops that you have to fall for so many bs..even now i am still..fuck Might talk about something weird that happened when i was 8 a type of "hypnosis" but..still too painful i am still looking for answers on that. What i forgot to say was that my whole body is "vomiting" the stagnation and it's like sand and also mud and blood from the head like opening up. And that i have roots now and i am growing pink passion flowers after growing lilies and poisonous flowers on my vines.

Okay might as well share some exercise i do. >make water in form of egg >the outer layer keeps it egg-shaped >it looks like the hue/glow of the earth seen from "space" >it cools you down it's comfy and safe >it's astral but also physical but also all the other things >it's also you but also you're in it >feel the water spinning on your skin >it's also ok to let it do what it wants or spin slowly or stay still >it's about feelings okay! >feel it inside your organs as well getting in you through your pores >It's everywhere let it move how it wants >now try to feel it physically more and more but also noticing how it is still astral and etheric. You can reach a point where the water is almost "there" physically, i noticed some "humidity" feeling on my skin as i did that. the water can be programmed to cleans or whatnot can be made more heavy or lighter slime baths are cool, but i am mostly letting my higher mind control it as it's more efficacious than my definition of "cleanse" on my level. I do that to awaken my whole "energetic body" i really dislike labels though it's just a feeling. It's part of my shapeshifting training and to further my understanding of the water element but also has to do with the "just be" of animal nature. I also learnt how to sync my mind waves with a dance..yay shamans! But yeah this teach to have an awareness of the entire body including the organs and the other bodies. I am positing here because might be dangerous for some as it can pull all the dirt at once and force you to deal with it especially when you are self sabotaging yourself with your shadows :D

>>5389 >pic related This image is interesting you can think of the water as the air or the ground it's all about imagination and going beyond human understanding and it's about your own ways and not just doing what others do and... I have the unpleasant feeling I have been saying the same thing over and over through different understandings...a Kirin mmm

Man this is so complicated. So the Kirin horn and the tail have to connect fully to the body and "communicate" but since my body is trashed out this makes it hard. My "ideal body" which i use as a map had hooves for the last 2 days, glad i took the time to write as now i know it's about the Kirin, though i do sound even more insane uh? I woke up with pain and was squirming in bed thought i was dying for a second but then a voice said <calm down this is the result of your training let it happen And i got a vision of something shaped like a mace having 4 uh claw like structure on top now more touching my curse which followed with me vomiting worms, but like not a hundred or thousands BILLIONS. It's still going on, it comes in waves, and the relief is amazing they latch into a belief a feeling really anything and i have to pass through it with acceptance but also non-attachment for it to pass further. It's quite painful and straining tbh. In hindsight i hate my family even more yes also something i have to deal with as they latch into that too, what a shit heritage to leave to your kids..Kali yuga i guess I thought i'd explain the curse, it's a type of worm like being latching into the nervous system where the genitals and rectum connects, but it also has to do with sexuality i believe but that's just the visible part of it. My current theory is that it's not a curse but more like a "blessing" that got dirtied over generations to become this hell i am dealing with now. Kinda like how if you seal something you need to let some energy pass through in and out but if it gets clogged it gets covered in shit and can't flow for millennia and now someone has to clean that up...fuck Also when i tried to look into it the image of a cube inside a spiral came in my mind but this simply means a "storage structure" to me so it could just mean that thing "store karma" but..unsure

I feel like we are at different stages of awakening and existence which might cause problems as we talk but whatever am gonna type a little >>5386 >a very young age as it was incompatible with this whole "being modern human" thing and created an autistic persona as it was the only way to act human enough around people and my own family. I have something similar. I can only "Obey" or follow people if they are truly above me. In an energetic wisdom authority and purity level. And for that to happen I had to generate an "NPC" part of my consciousness to be able to be part of the "education system" at all. I am not saying I am "too smart" because my main knowledge base is so different that I cannot call that "smart" in the modern definition of smart at all. Figuring out that everyone is mentally or emotionally retarded around me and that is the reason why most of my own patterns are wrong was the worst. But whatever there are worse fates than this. Thx to the internet I could manage. Humans never had this much knowledge at their disposal with mere material means. >I feel alienated from it all i could never conform to this it's just asinine how this is considered normal. I don't really grasp how you handle people fam. You seem somewhat sociable in a way but yes I can relate to the asinine retardation of the mundanes and normalfags too. >so some people start scratching the surface in their teenage years "fuck society" type shit but then conform into a drone Somehow I never did that. I had plans how to use people and positions as "societal jump-pads" and was thinking in ways how to blaze through the ranks then I realized I have psychic powers and magic is real and how everything is controlled by the shadows since forever thus mundane pursuits are meaningless and the only thins I need is to have a way to pursue my path and everything else is secondary. Was weird seeing how the principles I wanted to actualize for my mundane political pursuits started to manifest in the leadership of the politicians I supported... well it turned out that the shamans of my country had a way with the great tree and they knew how to communicate and enhance the kings and other rulers in the past and that system just needed a little reboot. It's fucking weird how country egregores work in some cases. No wonder we don't have NWO publicly at all. If you can unite it in a single system you are God in the flesh level and not in a shady organization as theirs. >i could never play this modern human Times changing. We are the future. Whatever you become will become the future human and the collective will slightly shift into that direction. If you clean your timeline you will meet with more weirdos that are on your frequency thus make a way towards a better future that aligns with your energies better. It's not without pain and effort tho. >to get a chance to emerge once all things are clear. Let's do it >tbh even here i do it just "much less" so it's closer to a real "me" but it's also just an outer layer to interact with people Yeah it is obvious you are unsure which side of yours you should "present" at all. Seems like you snapped out of your poetic phase again. >i am absolutely terrified of being alone Why? Did you find out the reason for that? Personally I have 2 types of people I have around. The first type are my "reality check" people who are normies but remind be about the current state of humanity so I don't desync too much from society. The others are "inspiration" that grant me a "reason" to stay around as a human and pursue my path while still within this life. /fringe/ is one of my inspiration and didn't really want it to vanish. This is why I keep posting. >so if people here judged me Yes that is an insecurity you will have to tackle. It stems from the lower chakras which you have problem with. Personally I like to be judged but only with constructive criticism that can help the improvement of my expression and not by buzzwords or memes that people are not even willing to elaborate on. >and stopped talking to me My problem was always "being alone while having people around" when people are not willing to understand so I have to conform to their views constantly and get down to their level then they hate people that are on their level because of some weird self hate. Never really know what to do with them. Also as long as you post here you will get replies that will match the length of your post within 3 days lol >turn into something evil.. Wonder what is your "evil" tho. Currently your evil is just a mere antidote against your current suffering a sort of "karmic solution". You still hide your claws when you should climb trees with it already. >"kill the beast" with a spear of thunder and flames That is a very apt definition of one of my ancient styles... wanna talk about it? >I feel so lonely cuz no one gets me and so i have to interact with what they think of me or something acceptable. Yeah man I cannot even imagine your "Normalfag mode". >Spirits do the same if you expect a goat demon that's what will come, a beautiful girl? a talking horse? anime character? Bruh... I had such a hard time making anime waifu sex ghosts properly appear some years ago and was annoyed how not a single spirit can match my taste... I mean I can conjure up whatever nowadays but for me it's different. They don't always manage to "fit" my expectations. >but that's taxing Yeah >there is always the risk of dirtying yourself or getting rekt by the human cuz he freaks out. I am still learning restraint to not hurt random spirits constantly. >Logic? which one? Dream logic is still logic, it's just the rule of that realm each realm has it's logic.. Cause and effect. People appearing with 0 relation to each other. It had no "logic" because the only thing that kept it together was a "feeling" a kind of tranquility you get after dying when you don't "think" anymore merely "observe". I am learning to "get that". I think too much and once my energies fasten so do my thoughts and my thoughts are ripping me apart. I have to let go of thinking. The reason why it's important to become "non judgemental" in many traditions is not to accept shitskin criminals into your country and gays raping your children but to realize that every judgement is like writing a reminder into your flesh with a rusty knife but deep in your brain and flesh. It makes you stressed and tense. I can finally see how much tension my body has nowadays and what mental states I need to reach to retain my body. My agility and posture improves every day and now I can see the next stage but it takes time. >Personally what matters is how i feel after the dream, i then unravel that feeling and try to get a lesson. There are no "feelings" for me anymore. The dreams are so "soft" it's like I didn't even had a dream. Do you remember the dream you had before being born? That is the frequency I am trying to reattain. The bliss and the horrors of the deceased. >i feel scared why? it's so spooky i don't even dare look at it?? Whenever I had a nightmare in the past I "went back" with full astral gear on and got rid of the fuckers. You don't fuck with me in my dreams. It was so long when I had a nightmare. Even the dreams where I woke up gasping for air were not "nightmares" anymore. Just weird experiences that my mortal flesh couldn't handle because I require more training. I like them. They remind me that I need more work to do. At least I have something to pursue again. >then there are distractions but it's like traps in thinking, super annoying stuff. Tell me about it ;_; Reminds me that I am spiritually retarded in some cases. >a head sprout every time i cut one fking hydra! Hydras have a "main body". Find that then you don't need to deal with the heads anymore. They wither with the body or starve if no one gives them nourishment. >btw you have a talent to snap me out of it. I am trying to develop a way to not send people into the psychward! Glad to know it somewhat works. >They are product of their time y'know? Product of their times product of their traditions product of the entities they worked with. Once I get several pages into the books I can feel the influences and that makes me always aware that this is no "teaching" this is an invitation card and I am slowly deciphering the address with every page... Makes me read less books nowadays. Meddlers all of them. >if i was born in the 20th century maybe i would have liked being part of an occult brotherhood or whatnot They were cringe or subverted even back then. The reason why I like fringe because it's a public forum. If anyone wants to subvert it it will be visible while it's still too obscure for normalfags. I like it's balance. I cannot waste my time going to discord to get groomed by weirdos and totallynotglowniggers. And for actual spiritual and occult communities that are around I consider my powerlevel still underdeveloped to interact with them with ease. All of these communities have a "story" and drama in it. Hard to get into them or get out if they suddenly get too weird.

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>maybe i would have enjoyed my life too? Instead of internet you had newspapers telephone and TV if you were rich enough. It had it's drawbacks trust me. People praise the nuclear family of that age out of nostalgia but that was when the point of no return towards degeneracy started. A new way is required and we need to find it as we move forward. >this feeling of "there is no fixing this let's go back to nature" "i want no part in this" etc Guess I am lucky then. I had that since the start. <there is no fixing this country let's go to the west and work menial jobs because this country sucks and it's hopeless but I still vote for the parties that ruined the country just because lol It's interesting to see the west slowly entering this phase even after "winning the cold war". The commies said it will happen but it happened too late for them to capitalize on it. The people slowly are finding their ways but it's real fucking slow for some reason and I am glad I have a newfound patience and a way to grasp the future as I move on my path because if I had to work with this on mere mundane level I would go crazy. People forget that they are their worst enemy and blame everyone but themselves. >So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. Bruh if anyone reads this incomprehensible shit we write here even a year later I will be surprised. There is too much information too much noise on the web. It gets lost in this sea of chatter even if we archive it. Even looking through the archives I remember how many conversations I didn't even bother reading on fringe many years ago. There were just too many and I had other things to do.

>>5386 >So yeah this could happen with whatever we write here, people in the future won't be able to relate. It's kinda like the gods the ancients text and stuff it speaks to a particular subset of people where you start being attracted to a particular god for "some reason", but also we can make use of it but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning but to the people of the time it was perfect for their level Nah. Wise sages and irredeemable fools always existed. Trust me dumb people always existed so did great sages that left them once they realized they cannot do anything for them anymore. >but also the current or the "path" hasn't been used in a while so it kinda feels dead and void of meaning Also I am reactivating several of these currents but hard to explain the details how I do it. The gods didn't vanish nor the paths towards them. Just the way got plastered over with industrial waste. >also why people don't believe in good gods anymore I hate to say this but that is jewish subversion. The jews want everyone to think that every god hates them as much as their own god hates them. This is why media is so rotten nowadays. >basically calling the earth "mommy Gaia" might have awaken up some old initiation thing process? Somewhat? >The gods as a map? They actually are... a good catch. Everyone rules over a specific set of leyline system. That is their "dominion" and "paths" they are overseeing. >For me it's more like, y'know a visual novel. you can choose a route but the others are in the code of the game also. When I talk with people I can see the "dialogues" and where they lead more or less. Shame I rarely see a path that I am willing to pursue nowadays. I cannot expect others to keep up with me. Not even I can keep up with myself in most cases. And I really hate "have you heard of the high elves" tier smalltalk. >It's all an illusion anyway but god's power are making sense now. Yeah. Also about mistakes. You cannot grow without mistakes. It was an important lesson for me. I feared mistakes too much. >Yeah i need a deeper understanding, it's all the elements like understanding what is rot? what is fermentation? what is behind it all? If you get that you will reboot your digestion for sure. It's not a simple lesson. >I mean yeah that's what we're doing no? following a plan of our "higher selves" lol Yeah but I am in a "taking it easy" stage to learn to "not hurry" and "calm down" or something. I have to see that there is "no plan" to see the "greater plan" or something. > It's just that i lost contact with that layer and am only now starting to understand it better. When I noticed my light in my teens and realized that I am "losing it" I made up several measures to safeguard it and made my lifegoal to find "my way" to pursue it no matter what. This was before I was still unsure of psychic powers and ignorant about the online spiritual communities. Was unwilling to let go of that part of me. Currently I know there is more to it and I need to get myself in order to expand on it further. I am still too tense. My light still has trouble while trying to shine through me. >You can't hear much under a ton of shit..but that's also within the plan of an even higher layer! Yeah. Every layer has a higher layer every god has their own god. Every truth is based on a higher truth. >No seriously it's hard af but also the easiest thing ever. I know. Still getting used to it. >>5389 Good exercise btw. It helped. Thanks for reminding me that I should improve my water element. It's winter so I think only fire needs tending and forget that water is not just about being "cool" but also nourishing. I want to write far more but I will leave that later. Talking about the hoofs and the horns and something that I noticed about your nature several weeks ago takes consideration and I might need to rethink my idea altogether. Or maybe it's unnecessary? You look good fam. I know you might say it otherwise but you are improving on your own. And that is the most important. Having the ability to walk your own path and still being articulate enough to talk about it.

>>5400 >I feel like we are at different stages of awakening and existence which might cause problems as we talk You need problems though problems are good! You eat them and solve them and now it's yours forever! > I can only "Obey" or follow people if they are truly above me. In an energetic wisdom authority and purity level Funny! for me it's more like "I'll listen to you and do exactly what you tell me so you learn how wrong and short sighted you are" now ofc some people benefit from this other they just blame you even more for not reading their mind but the thing is if you do read their mind and anticipate their every move now these retards crumble under their own weight as you just outperformed something that took them decades to learn in a few weeks or days but then if you.. retards tbh now i just show them the way and when i fuck off they can maintain it or crumble it's their choice i am not tangling myself in their affairs anymore i am doing my own thing. There is also the one where if you do what they want with a pure heart now they think they got you figured out and can now control you and think they can use you ofc they don't realize you always knew deep down.. even my parents are my kids that's the thing, but at the time i was going mad form their retardation and forceful control so i almost ate them out of rage and stress at least they'd understand no? the hell they created for themselves but ofc not they won't so better let the kids be kids or should i say animals be animals no even worse than that but yeah..now if people keep doing that i might eat them but the thing is i don't even have faith they can do it so it's better to not try and let them crumble on their own face rather then try to invest in them for them to make a worse hell for themselves. ...buut i'd like to say there is a way to do it "proper" it's just super annoying like dancing on your head and tbh it's not worth it unless it's someone who can actually learn and be receptive to the teaching, otherwise they break all their bones when you go faster and now you deal with that to put them in a "good enough" stop and you're like "never again ":( It's not arrogance maybe it's babying people? but sometimes gotta let them do their thing too even if it's retarded and inefficient i wish i could say everyone has a plan deep down and some "higher" normies do they're just going at their pace but others just don't seem to have any potential or it's so dormant it won't show up till a few billion years or so hard to let go.. Now i am cleaning up myself and the "external" which was never external to begin with is getting cleaner as well and i don't care about letting things go, my own kids come back to me in time soooo.. >Thx to the internet I could manage. Yeah i am glad i learnt english when i did, met other people other way of thinking, read manga, it widened my world for sure showed me that things don't need to be as they are which i always knew but could never see. >You seem somewhat sociable in a way I love people! the problem is they're just ugh.. i can't be myself i can't share anything or they freak out, here i can somewhat express myself and even come to a conclusion, you know an exchange of energy! It wouldn't be so bad if i was an adult with kids, i can play with them love them but still know what they can and can't handle, issue is i am a 12 year old stuck with 4-5 year olds.. older is what 7? Now these kids just don't know anything! and they can't hunt for themselves an i can't go to hunt or they end up oppressing and killing each other! So now i give them my blood and eat rats when they all sleep that i bait with my own hair and skin bits, i can remake my blood! it's okay! But keep doing that and i get so weak i can't do anything, and if they become corrupt i might just..recover that strength. Anyway now i am a bit wiser and know my blood is for me and i should only give it to those who can appreciate it, and what would you know they even help me when i do and we both benefit! isn't that the greatest thing? I do that with this place btw, had a vision of pouring my blood on /fringe/ i benefit from it so i don't mind i am happy to share! The kids are really dumb, they don't realize they have to pay for the blood that nothing is guaranteed that if you don't take care of the land in the end it will swallow you whole and that her mercy is just due to her generous nature that there is an end where if you still don't know she will you tear you and eat you..maybe we should have left them as insects and beasts :( > I had plans how to use people and positions as "societal jump-pads" and was thinking in ways how to blaze through the ranks You remind me of a friend! no two people? it's a phase where they realize the normie-cattle are normie-cattle and are like "well i'll be the king!" it's funny! > how everything is controlled by the shadows since forever thus mundane pursuits are meaningless and the only thins I need is to have a way to pursue my path and everything else is secondary Yeah it's the progression i can see it more clearly now how differently we think and how predictable it is when you passed that. >Was weird seeing how the principles I wanted to actualize for my mundane political pursuits started to manifest in the leadership of the politicians I supported We do things differently it's due to the way our consciousness act.. I can do that the issue is it's "unwise" for me to do so as i am blind to the bigger pictures as a human and i have to handle the fall of the act i mean everyone does but they just can't see it for some reason.. I never talked about my magic it's "fireworks" an explosion in a firework fashion that shape the past future matter astral etc it's foul proof with time it changed it grew to become a darkness, and i realized that everything i think or do happen in a form or other, that i doom or save myself with every breath with every act, i am like a blackhole and reality is shaped by my awareness it bends and follow me, it is born and die by my hand. It's not something i like to talk about, with one hand the children are born with the other you strangle them over and over..this is also a phase i don't like it yet i have to reach it to completion it has to do with how i know how to handle my own karma, it's a kind of spinning or dance it's awkward but it works with every act you are redeemed the karma varnish as it is created.. >If you can unite it in a single system you are God in the flesh level and not in a shady organization as theirs. ugh it's complicated..i have the potential to be a big as a house, a city a country..even bigger. The king is the one who marries the land and work with her but there is also the case of the land ruling it herself, that's a god. You ever created an astral realm? an island? If you can maintain it and cultivate it you are at "local deity" level you know? now realize who is you and what is the land you created? being both unites the opposite. i wonder if people here would understand that or if they do and the just keep it to themselves? i can handle it so i can say it. You like the elder scrolls? how the planets and the gods are the same but the planets look as they do as mortals project it that way to be understandable? Planets? more like planes no? If you want to be king you have to be the country herself also. At least that's my current understanding haha don't take my madness too seriously! i am just having fun expressing these things! I dislike how some push their own madness btw everyone has to find their own :D >Whatever you become will become the future human and the collective will slightly shift into that direction Oh so everything! See that's what humans really are, the potential of the universe!

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>If you clean your timeline you will meet with more weirdos that are on your frequency thus make a way towards a better future that aligns with your energies better. I am on it! pretty funny realizing i am the timeline on a level just as i am the moon and the sun and the sea and the sky and.. >It's not without pain and effort tho. How is it for you? for me it's if i can face it i can handle it, so it's like swimming in gutter letting it "eat me" and purifying it, but i don't have to do anything i just observe it in a way that bring it forth. I noticed that with my magic years ago, how cyclic how you can turn rot into life into rot into life! ofc levels of understanding to that.. >Did you find out the reason for that? My parents "sacrificed" me they almost killed me and i only survived cuz divine intervention tbh But i am getting over it! i am never quite alone anyway it's just part of my lesson of being whole in myself that is hard to handle as i need to face the pain head on with that faith gnosis really in myself that i will survive it no matter what, that i can thrive in the worst and the best all the same. >to stay around as a human and pursue my path while still within this life. /fringe/ is one of my inspiration and didn't really want it to vanish. This is why I keep posting. Yeah see the thing i am pursuing is to reach a point where i don't have to worry about "incarnations" and bodies and whatnot, where i am everywhere and nowhere and can reappear "in the flesh" just to enjoy myself in myself. >It stems from the lower chakras which you have problem with. It's all the same "fear" "hesitation" that if this thing touch me "i will come undone" but when you reach a certain strength and knowing yourself you realize truly let it pass me it will only take what is unnecessary what i thought were "essential" parts where but fermentation of a new beginning..something like that. hard to face but also easiest thing really, it's so painful. Also wanted to say that we walk upright we can't hide our tummies like animals do and so have to face everything, but also no matter the strength of the caiman's back a Jarguar can always eats you so it was never safe but we can face it on our terms as we grow in awareness. >Also as long as you post here you will get replies that will match the length of your post within 3 days lol It's not even about length or time, i have the feeling nobody is truly looking at me, they look at my outer flowers, some get closer but nobody looks at me.. Tbh i am a bit hypocritical about it as if someone did that i would eat them alive but if they survived then..ohhhhhh yup not talking about that. >That is a very apt definition of one of my ancient styles... Where you ever a Sumerian? if so that's the one i remember. >wanna talk about it? Sure i just don't remember much, i have to face the feelings from there first to unlock it. >They don't always manage to "fit" my expectations. Yeah you need someone so receptive they take fully your 'order", i think you're clear enough you just don't see that part lol. > a "feeling" a kind of tranquility you get after dying when you don't "think" anymore merely "observe". I am learning to "get that" yes that's..hard to subject to talk about tbh i can't find the words to define it, looping around yourself in yourself?..talking about it force me to face it. >Do you remember the dream you had before being born? That is the frequency I am trying to reattain. The bliss and the horrors of the deceased. I am actually getting closer to death and learning what is death. "It's just like sleep except you don't get up" used to be a useless sentence to me but now it's a key that i am scared to use. I can see it i even found a portal to the underworld inside of myself humans are like that seed of god all that but i need to hone myself with my current horrors to attain a "gnosis" where i know i can face it otherwise.. Funny we were facing it all this time we just refused to see it, now we are forcing ourselves to face it, when we finally emerge..that is immortality one above and below that contain the cycle of the

>mfw message get's cut out stupid!! ..the cycle of the universe within and without??? haha i'll stop it's like i am making a Paella with different energies x) >You don't fuck with me in my dreams. Issue for me is i realized they were all "me" in some form cuz you can't hurt me except using my own karma and because of that you end up taking on my smell so it forces me to face my own "emanations" or "breaths" as the mistakes of young god haha. >At least I have something to pursue again here fish tail in your face! >I am trying to develop a way to not send people into the psychward! If you talk too much too me it might happen to you instead! I am joking but the psychward can be necessary for some, i mean..ugh forget it this harvest festival is ridiculous! > People praise the nuclear family of that age out of nostalgia I don't to me it's already a corruption, as a tribe you see yourself as part of the tribe not to a "family" that keeps breaking out as it can't even maintain any structure as your children fucks off and now you're alone and there is no momentum or ancestral knowledge and everyone realy on "muh governement" and they don't even realize how they feed it and feed their own doom this way. No the corruption started when we saw ourselves as separate from nature..no wait from the universe?..ok so it's mercy but also destruction..love and war! Ahhh balance such a hard thing if you don't get it just right something explode somewhere else and now you deal with it! or you have a blood clot! It's pretty funny tbh! I hate people forcing their views on others, if you do that you're taking their karma idiot! only do that for the children you'll adopt ughhh. Some people learn the hard way i am not gonna judge too much now that i realize how it's all connected and that people are only making their own doom by being to selfish or too selfless, there is a time for order and a time for chaos y'know? People somehow think they can make a perfect everlasting civilization when you're just pushing the doom to later. It's like stopping small fires but 200 year later everything burns. >It gets lost in this sea of chatter even if we archive it They'll get attracted by the smell! i mean yeah you can get your lessons from anything anyway ancient texts, video games, hentai, and of course dreams! >They actually are... a good catch. Everyone rules over a specific set of leyline system. That is their "dominion" and "paths" they are overseeing. Mmm wonder what happen if they all connect and the flow is reestablished..MMMMMMM? haha i am doing that with my body is what i mean. >And I really hate "have you heard of the high elves" tier smalltalk. rofl tell me about it. tbh i realized they can't hurt me they are but emissaries of my own internal turmoil..so if they bother me if i want to rip them apart and eat them it's just me not being very responsible with my own kids y'know? It's not a false safety it's more like my own energies coming back as i am currently bound to time cycles etc but that also is illusion and i am getting that control by reaching these spheres As i am dealing with them all my "karma" things are changing getting better to the point where it all mm collapse on myself? idk how to explain, the end of the illusion a fractal? ha but it's fun when you choose your own karma then even as you face it. >You cannot grow without mistakes. It was an important lesson for me. I feared mistakes too much. Yeah! now i know i can handle my own mistakes! just takes time but that's only cuz i think it should see? >If you get that you will reboot your digestion for sure. It's not a simple lesson. I am watching videos on rotting animal carcasses and trying to emulate that on my own body, i need to get a feeling for death, for the stink for everything. Like how do you even turn fur back into soil? the worms are cool but what i need is their "original" energies to reach that understanding of all aspect of rot, bacteria fungi animals insects plants etc. Need a gnosis of the whole process and how death become life become death y'know that kind of thing. > I have to see that there is "no plan" to see the "greater plan" or something. Only the one you made brother >Thanks for reminding me that I should improve my water element You're welcome! My ideal body now is half on fire half sinking mud. some part of me didn't want to rely on the earth to clean me up but as i realize my connections i realize i was simply disrupting the flow... > that I noticed about your nature several weeks ago takes consideration Oh so you know why i have a lion tail? why i am looking like a sphinx now? Complicated! i wonder if it's even for me these visions tbh i never studies these things i just know them. No really i never "studied" the tarot either, i only look at something if it's calling me.

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Oh right some vision that happened yesterday. >be alone at 2am in the dark >this is bs i need to face my own darkness! >corpses gores that gets more visible as i close my eyes >old man appear >oh it's uh saturn? >he tries to eat me >image of corpses get even scarier >also feels like i am somewhat blind IRL as the vision takes over my physical eyes my eyes get blurry af after visions >i use light spears to immobilize this astral entity >this only work to slow him for a second >at that point i am panicking >ok fine i'll face my fear fuck it i am eating you too! >I can feel my teeth on his skull almost physically >as i gulp his right eye he swallows me and i find my self in an ocean >a siren made of wheels talks to me <yes it's saturn and he just ate you! you need to understand your own darkness you know! >i eat her to digest the meaning of it all So much retardation but as long as it's fun as much as it's scary it's not too bad.

>message gets cut out >on THAT particular part >SOMEHOW??? Facing sleep and death consciously i see..the space between each breaths.

>>5538 >as you just outperformed something that took them decades to learn in a few weeks or days but then if you.. When people piss me off that much that I snap out of my mundane lethargy and end up reading their mind I witness all the inconsistencies and inefficient retardation within their "framework". When that happens I go into a "lecture mode" if I have to deal with them with a prolonged time. I realized a while ago that I don't really "learn". I am just simply "doing things" and once I stop doing things i forget them. If I learn something meaningless I want to forget it as much as possible. My mental flows are sacred to me. I don't want it to be disturbed by pointless chatter with meaningless "skills" that won't even exist a decade later. This is why programming annoyed me. I realized I either become a "programming nerd" and let all my other skills waste away for the sake of keeping up with the programming technology or I let the "nerds" deal with it while I keep pursuing my own things. People are extremely disgenic nowadays because they cannot do the same skills they ancestors did for thousands of years. These skills are programmed deep within their genetics but they don't have the necessary stimulant anymore. >i am not tangling myself in their affairs anymore i am doing my own thing. Yes it's important to let go. Real hard to accept it in some cases. Letting retards be retards when you know they could be something else but you don't have nor the strength nor the wisdom to show it to them. >if you do what they want with a pure heart now they think they got you figured out and can now control you and think they can use you Most people cannot even control themselves... and those people who cannot control themselves cannot control others either. Sometimes letting others control you is an "act of kindness" when you "play along" because otherwise it's like they are talking to a brick wall that will fall on them if they keep knocking. I hate when I have to put "effort" into playing along especially when I see how people don't even enjoy the game where they made the rules for the game that they hate playing so much. >even my parents are my kids that's the thing They have a responsibility to grow the fuck up! I am instilling that into my relatives. I suffered enough of their retardation and if they want to stay around me they will grow no matter what. When you give others your attention or energy you can program it. Every type of nutrient has a way the body can digest it. Sometimes the process of the digestion is the one that "changes the main energies of the body" and not the nutrients it will absorb. When you program these energies well enough people can change around you the way you gave them their energies. But you really need a clear mind and a pure heart for that or it goes awry if your own energies are also tainted with hubris... But you don't notice it until talking with people. Annoying. >let them crumble on their own face rather then try to invest in them for them to make a worse hell for themselves. Always watch out to not entangle yourself with unnecessary karma. Even I have to mantra that to myself in some cases. >buut i'd like to say there is a way to do it "proper" it's just super annoying like dancing on your head For me it requires extreme amount of focus and patience that I know I don't have yet >tbh it's not worth it unless it's someone who can actually learn and be receptive to the teaching This is the thing. Sometimes the problem is not with the student but with the teacher. Everyone has openings and clogged pathways within their mentality. Once you see how it is put together you can feed them the necessary information so they can "bloom". The real problem is that once I see the trash that is within their head I get so irritated I know if I stay around I will just crush everything they have and forget the purpose of my teaching altogether. The trick is not to "teach" the trick is to help people to "get it on their own" with the least amount of effort. Finding Dharma being Dharma spreading dharma without obstructing dharma or something like that. There is a secret "dharma speak" which can grant enlightenment if you know how to let the dharma flow effortlessly but... whenever I try to do that I notice how shoddily I managed to internalize dharma at all. This is why the way I express myself is this fucking atrocious currently. >but sometimes gotta let them do their thing too even if it's retarded and inefficient Sometimes you have to let them ask for help and not "force it" upon them or they will reject it. The mental pathways will have to open on their own or they will have to break their own stupidity.I asked my grandparents to not do something absolutely unnecessary and they refused adamantly and I should leave the issue then grandpa managed to break his hand in the end... which is a good thing because if they will try it again I can remind them of this "Pain" of theirs or they will remember it by default and stop trying so hard to be stupid for no real reason >others just don't seem to have any potential or it's so dormant it won't show up till a few billion years or so hard to let go.. Everyone has their potential but are you determined and inquisitive enough to find it? Everyone is a mystery and some people have such weird mysteries slumbering within them that in some cases it's better that way. And trust me You and me or anyone on fringe are not even the "worst". Some people are wearing down extremely terrific karma with eons worth of suffering and NPCism. >Now i am cleaning up myself and the "external" which was never external to begin with is getting cleaner as well and i don't care about letting things go, my own kids come back to me in time soooo.. Yay! Anon gets it! :) >Yeah i am glad i learnt english when i did, met other people other way of thinking, read manga, it widened my world for sure showed me that things don't need to be as they are which i always knew but could never see. Same >i can't be myself i can't share anything or they freak out Takes time to figure out of that part. Not telling your "deepest parts". As you move on you will lose the urge to do it. Do you ever want to whip out your cock public or shit into the table at public places?Hope you don't But when you are on the toilet you know you can pee and when you sit down you know you can shit freely. When you were a baby you couldn't control this. You shat everywhere when the need arisen and no one expected you to do it otherwise. Once you learned to walk you learned how to control your bowel movement with it then learned to use the toilet. This is how it is with expressing yourself. You realize where you can share it effortlessly and where it is a "complete waste". There are many skills in magic and spirituality that will become that easily to discern with enough wisdom and maturity. But if you go down to the level of others and "forget yourself" in the process you just invite confusion and frustration into your psyche. Takes practice I know it well. >i can play with them love them but still know what they can and can't handle I can't. I always realize that I don't know the limits of myself and others. This is why I am on fringe. I will have to develop this skill of myself better. >issue is i am a 12 year old stuck with 4-5 year olds My problem is that I am like a 10 year old who pretends to be a 5 year old while a dark 700 year old shadow whispers into my ear constantly and the only reason he is behaving because some 10 000 year old parent is watching in the back of the room and if he misbehaves he will "get involved". I realized that the "other kids" are my "least concern". There are things I have to figure out right here and now and watch out to not create too much unnecessary drama in the process. I am still feeling bad about some other unnecessary drama I created when I was 3 year old several lifetimes ago... >Now these kids just don't know anything! They know how to buy groceries! >they can't hunt for themselves an i can't go to hunt That requires a hunting permit and to know which hunting season it is! Doesn't matter if it's IRL or with other karmic means. >But keep doing that and i get so weak i can't do anything, and if they become corrupt i might just..recover that strength. I had to realize most people cannot handle my energies. So I just help them shatter some of their karmic bonds so they can take a new form and because of that they operate on a "better energy" that I didn't even give them. And their radiance can better the environment. It's nice when it happens. >we both benefit! isn't that the greatest thing? It is! That is the goal. Everyone wins! Everyone reaches the finish line! >I do that with this place btw, had a vision of pouring my blood on /fringe/ i benefit from it so i don't mind i am happy to share! Had a vision about the state of fringe some weeks ago. It was like a brown rock that "plugged it". I was thinking about shattering it but in actuality it "defended fringe". I have noticed a swamp of retardation that it blocked which tried to enter this site. I noticed how everyone is slowly "drilling through" and if it goes well enough everyone will become stronger in the process put if it's shattered forcefully the whole place will be swamped by retards. You cannot grow egregores mindlessly. As I look through the archives I remember just how much unnecessary drama and retardation transpired at fringe. Made me remember how I ignored like 70% of the threads because there was nothing there. That is a karma that we will have to "wear down". The age of "lolcowism" is over. We need to retain the original purpose of fringe and not waste effort on other meaningless drivel. Knew you will be part of the process but didn't know it will manifest this way for you. There are many people trying their best but they don't know how to be part of it. Noticed that my "fringe adoration" energies are not even high compared to others. For me it is a mere reminder that there are other people that walk the path and willing to share their insights while for most people this place is some magical gateway towards awakening. For some people this is their "only hope". This is how they feel at least. Was quite illuminating seeing it.Then we have the "when will the lolcow return so we can make fun of him lol we are totally not glowniggers pls don't kill us we are just retards we swear" crowd and I have no idea what to do with them. They don't have a clean target yet so they are on other edges of the internet currently. Trying to figure out how to reactivate their "light" with minimal effort because I don't want the previous retardation to resurface on fringe

>The kids are really dumb As long as they are innocent I don't mind it. >maybe we should have left them as insects and beasts :( I can't stand insects. Sorry. They won't stay as insects or I will let the spiders eat them. Pets can be cute but insects are no pets. Tho fringe might need some creative "beasts of burden". I don't plan making this site echo with my own madness constantly. >You remind me of a friend! no two people? it's a phase where they realize the normie-cattle are normie-cattle and are like "well i'll be the king!" it's funny! It's more complex than that. I realized I can "hone myself" into something greater. I never cared about the "normie-cattle" because you never rule alone. You rule with other great people. The king always needs it's court so does he needs proper subjects. I never wanted to "rule" I wanted to help to shape the future into something greater. After the fall of USSR we were in a bleak state and it echoes through my childhood. It was clear life could have been better but no one wanted to "make it better". I consider myself as an "emergency leader". Like how the rank of dictator was originally in Rome before Caesar. They elected the dictator only in extreme crisis and only for half a year. I never wanted to "march into Rome". I do not want to live being surrounded by Yesmen. Better to be alone then. At least I can hear my thoughts that way. What I cannot stand when I get disturbed when I am finally hear the faintest whispers of my deepest parts. Now that is what I despise and I thought life will be "so bad" that I will require some greater purpose or we will be devoured by the retardation of others. After realizing that psychic powers are real and I wield them I realized this mundane "game" is unnecessary and an absolute distraction from truth. Was thinking if psychic powers are real then what greater pursuit can be than mastering those? Why become a footnote in history when reality warps at your fingertips? Ofc I was not aware how "karma works" back then so I was quite starry eyed. But I am still glad I didn't try becoming a politician. Failing at it is one thing but becoming successful is even worse in this rotten world. Enjoy being everything but yourself. Pinnacle of normalfaggotry the crystallization of mainstream political ideas. Heavy is the head that wears the crown but it's like wearing the pants that everyone shat through in the previous years in this "democracy" which is not even yours but merely "loaned". Politicians are no kings anymore. They are mere court jesters with good lighting nowadays.Really liked how the Malvakian calls the Prince Jester in VTMB. Fucking swedes ruining and delaying the sequel again >Yeah it's the progression i can see it more clearly now how differently we think I don't see some of your internal mechanisms yet but because you are not sure of them yet either. We both have too many questions within still. >it grew to become a darkness, and i realized that everything i think or do happen in a form or other, that i doom or save myself with every breath with every act, i am like a blackhole and reality is shaped by my awareness it bends and follow me, it is born and die by my hand. You are expelling some stagnating energy. It has life on it's own but that is not it's "final form" >It's not something i like to talk about I don't think you can talk about yet aptly enough. It didn't manage to manifest completely. There are too many missing parts. This is not (You) this is some leftover energy from some other age? Hard to say for sure. >with one hand the children are born with the other you strangle them over and over I am getting good at not strangling entities! Real proud of that development. >the karma varnish as it is created.. Yes that will totally happen because you don't have your "actual karma" yet but mere "placeholder karma" that you have as a human. >i have the potential to be a big as a house, a city a country..even bigger. Bruh like everyone has that. But I don't think you want to be a giant cancerous tumor over the earth. Some people forget that cancer is the only thing that has uncontrolled growth and in the end it kills the body. >The king is the one who marries the land and work with her but there is also the case of the land ruling it herself, that's a god. Somewhat true. When that happens you become a "deity" and not a mere king. Many lands lost their guardian deities this is why we are facing weird issues nowadays. When Rome fell Italy had a bunch of city states for centuries. All the guardian deities manifested because there was no Emperor that can rule over them. Then they faded away because they realized they don't have the necessary "steam" to keep going by their own. >You ever created an astral realm? an island? I have so many realms under my control that I didn't even create in this lifetime that it's ridiculous. When I witnessed them I realized I have to take my awakening seriously because I am not even halfway to my actual potential to "remember" who I am... and talking about surpassing my "past selves" is meaningless. I am taking it so easy it's laughable. Not that I am in a hurry for anything it seems. >If you can maintain it and cultivate it you are at "local deity" level you know? Hehehe. I might talk about this later. Let's say I don't need my islands to be solely on the "astral" for long. I am acknowledged for quite long but I still have growth to do. I cannot take pride in what I do yet. Currently I do things because I deem it "necessary" and I have hard time finding enjoyment in it. Even tho it's fun and wouldn't do it otherwise! >being both unites the opposite. Opposites are an illusion! If it's part of the same system can they be really "opposites"?Let's not talk about opposites emanating from different systems tho. Ever since angels warned me about it I am annoyed that there are some parts of my "potential" that I shouldn't express before the "time is right" >If you want to be king you have to be the country herself also. KING AND COUNTRY! >At least that's my current understanding haha don't take my madness too seriously! It' a process. Hope no one takes my own madness too seriously either. >I dislike how some push their own madness btw everyone has to find their own :D The goal is to see beyond it. Some people fall into the trap thinking their madness is "their truth" and trap themselves within the veil of madness. It's necessary to see beyond it because there are far more things there. But it might be maddening to think how much more things are beyond madness. >How is it for you? Going through so many changes it takes longer to talk about than actually overcoming them. They only meaningful the moment it happens and I don't see meaning talking about once it passes. All of them are so TLDR and so intertwined with so many things. Can't feel the urge to talk about it out of the blue especially when I am over it already. Maybe if someone goes through something similar I mention it but otherwise who cares? >Yeah see the thing i am pursuing is to reach a point where i don't have to worry about "incarnations" and bodies and whatnot, where i am everywhere and nowhere and can reappear "in the flesh" I don't think you have to worry about that. >just to enjoy myself in myself. Now that might be more complex. You will have to face some weird karma first and I have no idea what that is. >what i thought were "essential" parts where but fermentation of a new beginning..something like that. Yes that is how cultivation and inner alchemy works >i have the feeling nobody is truly looking at me, they look at my outer flowers, some get closer but nobody looks at me.. Bruh... "Looking at you" is the same as someone grabbing your entrails through your belly button then slowly licking it while you bite their neck if they don't do it fast enough. >if someone did that i would eat them alive but if they survived then..ohhhhhh yup not talking about that. Looking at others the wrong way and the wrong time creates a weird energetic attachment. You only look at flowers once they bloom and not force it to stem nor you dig it out from the fertile soil to see their roots. Everything will come when it's ready. You are not yourself yet nor am I in any way able to call myself "complete". >Where you ever a Sumerian? My guides went ahead and revealed it to me. Was too important of a milestone that I was not allowed to forget. >if so that's the one i remember. Uh. I might have played too many roles there and I am still unsure of the fidelity of my memories. To many gaps because I cannot match my mental frequency well enough yet.

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>wanna talk about it? >Sure i just don't remember much, i have to face the feelings from there first to unlock it. Same! Was thinking maybe you have something that makes the noggin joggin. Maybe later then. >Yeah you need someone so receptive they take fully your 'order", i think you're clear enough you just don't see that part lol No you see the when I go into the mindset where I can give them the order to "be the perfect pleasure ghost" I lose all my desires for pleasure. Carnal desires is for mortals and mortals cannot command ghosts while gods don't care about carnal desires the same way as mortals anymore... I am learning a lesson about this nowadays and it's real fucking hard. >looping around yourself in yourself?.. That is what life and death is about. Seeing it grants you the way to overcome it. Hard I know. >death >"It's just like sleep except you don't get up" used to be a useless sentence to me but now it's a key that i am scared to use. It's a dream that you forget after waking up but remember later on for seemingly "no reason". I wanted to give a quick reply and it managed to become 20k+ long. I really need to change my ways already. Also it's late so I am not proofreading it. Sorry for the misunderstandings it might have caused >>5540 >Facing sleep and death consciously i see..the space between each breaths. Tell me about it...

It has come to my attention that demons have thoroughly and severely infested most known corners of the internet. All wizards should therefore ensure that they practice due diligence, remembering to perform cleansing spells and exorcisms on their webpages whenever they see any of these digital demons making mischief.

>>5552 What are some warning signs to watch out for?

>>5566 >Strong unwarranted emotional reactions to posts >Websites or users acting in unusual, inorganic ways (ways that might be interpreted as "glowies" or "shills") >Websites inspiring uncontrolled trance states ("Doomscrolling") >Websites causing you to feel physically drained, sick, or exhausted Aetheric purging should be performed on the spirit and surrounding aura of the web-site in question whenever any of the above symptoms are noticed.

>>5552 Parasocial relationships with vtubers/onlyfans the outrage media in the past 8 years and parasitic energetic incubation chambers like discord was the perfect nesting ground for them. Then tiktok enhanced it even more. The weird thing was that no one was able completely to control it. Realized it's big problem and fringe won't come back until we fix it. If anyone looks through the archives of the previous fringe it's clear that the unnecessary drama and shitflinging was more prevalent than actual magic discussion. Before fringe I noticed on several other psychic communities that the community went berserk with inane drama and political issues even in the Obama era then destroyed itself. Especially if they were left wing and had a sizeable female userbase too. Realized more than a decade ago that a right wing anonymous magical discussion forum might be immune to it. It was more resistant for sure but definitely not immune at all. We know that too well nowadays When fringe had it's own website it was "cleaner" but since the migration to 8chan happened the site is interacting with the energies of the other boards constantly. Those boards are full with energies like lust and rage. I knew we will have to somewhat break through that. I had a "plan" in my head how I will structurally demolish it bit by bit after creating several threads that will "show the way" but I managed to get entangled with way too many personal discussions and realized I don't have enough time to enact my plan. I chose the method of slowly re-energizing fringe then crush most of the reappearing parasites. Had to face the truth that most past fringe users are full with these parasites but it's so deep within their psyche it will be hard to "flush it out". I found 2 types of parasites. They were either entirely made of lower energies or semi sentient beings that got "corrupted". The corrupted ones are helpful spirits that fallen into parasitic behavior. Those ones could be "saved" but helping them to retain their main purpose was hard. I set up an autopurging energy field and more and more spirits manifested and found ways how I can guide them towards other realms where they can "learn" and once they have enough they can return to this reality and share their findings. This plan was nice on paper but the main issue was that fringe is still too "low energy". No higher spirit can return here to do anything meaningful and they have hard time communicating with neophytes that know nothing of spirit work. Wanted to make a proper spirit work thread but the whole board started to focus on succubus astral glowies and aliens and had no idea how to solve that issue first Then more problems arisen thanks to different alignments of some wizards. >>1775 He connected several threads to his "astral internet network" which is used by millions of infernal beings and aliens according to him. Then he had that bright idea that if you shit up a place before letting glowies shit it up glowies won't touch it. That just caused more annoyance with his methods from many people and old wounds reappeared then drama ensured again. Because of that this site started to get fuelled by a flame while other spiritual forces started protecting it that was not under control. After creating this thread another anon also casted a spell then hippie looking spirit appeared through my screen covered in pure white energies and touched my chest and said >you are protected from all harm and hurt Because of that I realized there are too many parties interested in this place and I want to see "where it goes" first. Ofc the results are mixed and I am not liking it either but wanted this to serve as a learning process for everyone instead of forcing my own principles through this website. Realized there is a way out of it but it either requires several skilled magicians with higher principles or I let this place become a "survival of the fittest" magical training ground which will birth adepts sooner or later. Some people had a desire for that aggressive schizophrenic adepts method. >>3687 I knew these people are those that desire that old version of fringe where the adepts ripped each other apart and served as an entertainment to mundane spectators while drove away the rest of the site. I decided to wait to see what happens. I noticed quite long that many occult websites and places are teeming with entities. Not all of them are bad ofc but once the userbase gets batshit insane it's clear they have a parasitic infestation and the site/community breaks down. Was unsure what causes the main problem. I had 3 suspects: Glowies were the first but I realized most people are merely brainwashed and not always glowies. The second were the deep seated issues of every poster manifesting and the psychoactive energies of the board is sending their energies berserk. The third was external hostile entities that prey on developing wizards. Ofc usually it's all 3 at once but I wanted to see it happen to me personally. I was lurking in the previous incarnations of fringe because I never really had much to say that wasn't said one way or the other but now I had more to say and felt if I don't say anything the neophytes will not find their answers at all. The problem was that no one was willing to stand up and make these demons "show themselves". Everyone either covered in fear or made shields so they can be "someone else's problem". I wanted to figure out who or what singles out and mindbreaks the promising initiates on every incarnation of fringe and on other occult places. These forces slowly showing themselves but most of them still hide in the shadows. >>5567 This post described well the signs and it is quite "new" symptom because these issues appeared in the past decade. Which means these demons are malleable. If you change the frequencies they cannot stay around. They are too dependent on the psyche of the current state of collective "internet" conscious. Purging cleaning and reintroducing proper internet culture and etiquette is necessary. My problem is that I am unsure how to go at it currently. I have many tools but all of them counts as a mere "half measure". This is something I realized I will not do alone or demons will use other users to bring down this place when I am not "looking". There is too much karma on fringe they can fallback to. They just make people remember and bring up discussions made and said in the last decade just to stir up shit and I cannot even "complain" because that is the only thing that fueled discussion on this almost completely dead board. The worms and critters till the soil when man doesn't do it with his tools. Had to face that the only way is; to find people who have a will to help recultivating this place. Sadly it turned out most of them had no way dealing with demon infestation so I figured out ways how I can draw them out and give advice how to teach them to deal with them on their own... but it resulted in this mess. It was better than leaving fringe dead but not the result I hoped for at all. >Aetheric purging should be performed on the spirit and surrounding aura of the web-site in question whenever any of the above symptoms are noticed. Can you write down a step by step guide that neophytes and initiates without creativity can employ? For me it's intuitive and I just meditate with the right energies but I cannot really explain it to others at all. The demons never managed to take a lasting form long enough so I can deal with them in a way the site is not going silent as a result. Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions or when I did a new method where I took out the "false sentience" of the parasites then let the energies flow back into the site people reported anomalies that they couldn't put anywhere but they had no way starting a discussion with that. The posting activity lasted as long as that energy speed boost. Couldn't figure out how to grant people creative and insightful pathworking from all these extra energies that lies around this place because the degenerates fuel it constantly.When my awakening started I noticed all the trash posts and sigils from "looshfarming" and I got rid of them from my psyche. Then a year ago I had the idea how I could do a mass purging on the dormant side of the now dead fringe egregores to redistribute those energies. Seen just how much insanity this mindless looshfarming caused and how it sucked the egregore dry and left only mindless parasites behind. I knew it can be fixed but didn't know it will take this long Sorry if this post appears as a "traumadump" but I think it was a necessary QRD how I see this issue and if you have any method you can share for the neophytes to properly cleanse their own environment and the places they interact with it will be a great help. Personally I want to take a break from this site because I need to meditate more. I overextended myself and my goal was never to "overtake fringe" but merely help it reactivate. I too want to shed this thinking that I had to attain to be able to talk with people who prefer to act and think like demons. The demons also desire a change and they only stay around if you are willing to keep them chained to you. Om mani padme hum I recommend Buddhist chants for everyone if nothing better is recommended. They are way too effective and simple.

>>5568 >Can you write down a step by step guide that neophytes and initiates without creativity can employ? Well first, 95% of the time, at least for me, these demons are literally seated within the "digital reality". Meaning that the "heart of the spirit's manifestation" is residing literally within the computer screen. I experienced this back when Blood Anon tried to plant an jihadi djinn on the board and I had to exorcise it. It seems pretty rare for a digital spirit to actually be able to exit the 'screen' and take root in your local physical reality. Usually they beam out energy from the monitor in the same way that information is beamed out from the monitor via light from the pixels. So even if a huge amount of energy is pouring out of the monitor, it usually seems to stop simply by turning the computer off or walking away. Meaning: that if you want to combat a digital spirit, rather than trying to project or remote view to their 'location', you instead recognize their location as simply being inside of your computer, and operate off of that assumption. So, move your awareness into your energy body and literally just reach through your computer screen to interact with it like that. Very simple but effective. From there it’s just a matter of astral combat. I like to use black holes (reality-holes technically) but getting the right frequency for that took me a while. For neophytes it would probably be best to use some sort of ‘cleansing holy light’ evocation. All magical acts only work if you have faith in them so you should look at what you have faith in and use that. >Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions Oh right. Yeah that happens. I guess I just sort of ignored that and took it as a signal to spend more time on my various astral workings instead of online. I don’t think there’s really a way to purge influences without causeing a sterilization effect. This would probably just necessitate a second seperate working designed to ‘fertilize’ and ‘seed’ the desired energies in the associated digital plane. I bet trying to do a ‘rain spell’ inside the digital reality would be pretty effective towards this.

Also this may be relevant.

>>5538 >”It’s just like sleep except you don’t get up” The film, Waking Life, is about just that. Kisscartoon has it on their site if you’re interested in that; for all I know it’s help you get over that fear, but what’s my dumb ass know? >>5548 >stuff about learning programming and consequentially forgetting everything else I suppose that if you learned programming anyway, but only 1 version of 1 languagesuch as Assembly, then you could still get something useful outta it by learning how to conceptualize, materialize, analyze, and remember extremely large logical structures by heart. I know the late smileberg poster said he had astral nanomachines & astral AI. I’m probably trying too hard to be helpful

>>5548 I just had a thought about that dysgenics bit: You know how in less evolved 2D beings there’s only 1 cell that has to be able to do all of its functions? As it evolves, it eventually becomes multicellular, and that multicellularity allows some of its cells to specialize into performing specific functions since they do t have to be capable of all of the functions anymore, thereby making the entire organism become better at survival. The works because the cells of the organism work together in an orderly manner to aid eachother’s survival. Individual humans branching off into specialized functions like this and forgetting how to individually take care of everything seems similar to that unicellular to multicellular bit. However, because kikes & their ayy lmao handlers subverted the orderly manner into serving them at the expense of the organism, it’ll make humanity suffer more in the event of civilizational collapse than they otherwise would.

>>5548 >This is why programming annoyed me. Everything changes so fast if you want to stay relevant..maybe as a hobby if that but can't say today's technology motivates me :/ >because they cannot do the same skills they ancestors did for thousands of years. These skills are programmed deep within their genetics but they don't have the necessary stimulant anymore. Crazy thing is realizing it was bad 2 generation ago so it's not even about going back to how grandma and grandpa used to live they were fucked up too with their margarine and trying to follow the government plan in a changing world. Really annoying when you whole bloodline is like that, realizing the fall happened a really fucking long time ago and that the last magic users were already shit a thousand year ago using old symbols but not knowing why. then you end up with people remembering some herbs or oils to treat the flu but not knowing why and relying on doctors to prescribe them a pill so they can be a nice little work drone and not drop dread then dump all that mess on their kids. Really funny and by that i mean infuriating of course. These days they don't even trust in their ancestral knowledge anymore or have any belief in it, accepting the invader's god.. >Most people cannot even control themselves Bruh especially with sweets, worse is they start affecting me if i mingle..seriously man it's like we lost all our connection to nature and instead wired to the urban jungle to be some sad techno monkey in someone's else experiment :( >They have a responsibility to grow the fuck up! I'll believe in them as much as i can but it's not looking good..they have to face so much now that it might be better for them to just suffer without knowing why :/ >When you program these energies well enough people can change around you the way you gave them their energies I still suck at this, i am making plant grow around me to change the people around me but also too harshly and they could not handle it but also myself i am like an exotic animal taken out of nature who is constantly sick and losing it's hair soo..hard to balance their retardation but also make thing work and move. > Sometimes the problem is not with the student but with the teacher. There is no teacher that's the problem..in the flesh i mean. I wish i could send them to a school or something but it's all bugs eating other bugs at that point i can just pray for them and maybe cast some protection spells if i care enough. >Do you ever want to whip out your cock public or shit into the table at public places? Rofl no I guess i have a better understanding now, i crave meaningful connections, something that can make me grow but also make the other grow. Not this dog eat dog world i have been observing, where people drain you or you drain them or they shit on you and you shit on them. Something where everyone can evolve learn from each other etc instead of playing retarded otherwise they freak out so much they have a heart attack or ..put you on a cross. The few friends of mine who have potential are doomed because of things like love to other people who just won't learn sometimes..can they really be blamed? But oh well eventually we all get tired and learn that hey maybe the most important person is myself first and I'll help when i can otherwise why nourish people who want you dead? >But when you are on the toilet you know you can pee and when you sit down you know you can shit freely. My parents would start screaming every time i used the bathroom, total hypocrites about it too. Learnt to only go at night when everybody is sleeping, still have issue where i can't use it if i don't totally trust the environment as it is a vulnerable position to be in. Of course now with magic i can just make servitors to guard me but it's not like i want someone to rot from the inside because they accidentally startled me. Hard for me to process this because i don't consider it impossible to be killed in a vulnerable position i learnt young that the danger is everywhere especially in your own home but also it's not like i am gonna be kill on sight i still like people.. >They know how to buy groceries! Have to teach them that no the little cancer inducing candy they just bought is not a good use of money sometimes.. Or to not get apples with wax or bell peppers with wax... >I had to realize most people cannot handle my energies Oh man if i let my energies out i wonder what the fuck would happen. Last time i saw a dark hand reach from the ceiling like physically i mean, i try my best to appear human behave human smell human.. >We need to retain the original purpose of fringe and not waste effort on other meaningless drivel Agreed but we should let people express themselves and not force people into a mold lol What i mean is we can have a shapeshifting thread a "power of the light" thread a jewish mysticism (lol) and a necromancy thread with corpse fuckers that's fine too. I don't want it to end up with a strong personality dominating the others into what to think. We should be able to understand each other of course and maybe have a standard a foundation the reading list works but we all rely on people having that image board culture to relate too but people should be able to sprout into anything. Everybody is different and although some things are similar people relate to different things. Kabbalah doesn't speak to me at all nor does any of the abrahamic faith, i just can't relate and probably never encountered them before this life. But you know what does? Female Goddess like Kali, a bunch of flowers connecting each other like the summerian tree of life? i remember that. Nature worship? makes sense to me i had no idea who the fuck this "father" male god was and although i like jesus's story it always sounded wrong on many facets i frankly hate their smell. >As long as they are innocent I don't mind it. The world we grew up in eats the innocent. >I can't stand insects. Sorry.

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Not even bees? :( >Pets can be cute but insects are no pets I try to not bee too judgmental in how life manifests itself. Different expression of energies, configurations that seems weird yet if it works for some maybe there is a place for it. >I wanted to help to shape the future into something greater Relatable >I am still glad I didn't try becoming a politician. Same i realized if i were to do that i would have to become an absolute dictator and start to assassinate everyone in power and anyone who could threaten my image. Realized that what i want isn't what the people here want so either i leave this country or change it to the point it won't be the same people and idk if i want that burden. >Really liked how the Malvakian calls the Prince Jester in VTMB Reinstalled. >Fucking swedes ruining and delaying the sequel again I was literally looking at swansong when you wrote this.wtf why does it look so bad? >You are expelling some stagnating energy. It has life on it's own but that is not it's "final form" So much man..petroleum. >This is not (You) this is some leftover energy from some other age? Hard to say for sure. I wonder, my ancestors suffered a lot so could be that, or just my pain. I am unsure but it's very heavy. >I am getting good at not strangling entities! Real proud of that development. Do you handshake? or you made a field where they have to wear nice clothes and get on their knees? >Yes that will totally happen because you don't have your "actual karma" yet but mere "placeholder karma" that you have as a human. Uh? sound kinda meaningless till i remember then. Because why would i accept this hell hole unless i had no choice or it's totally worth it if i survive to a certain date or fill an objective idk. >But I don't think you want to be a giant cancerous tumor over the earth They deserve it! Joking not i mean more like become a conduit and work fully with the earth but also with the humans and be both the ruler and the land in a divine marriage of energies..something like that. > Some people fall into the trap thinking their madness is "their truth" and trap themselves within the veil of madness. Yes but it can be necessary, if you don't believe your own madness are you even serious about it? >Bruh... "Looking at you" is the same as someone grabbing your entrails through your belly button then slowly licking it while you bite their neck if they don't do it fast enough. mm wonder if i am just not having old issues resurfacing that i can't connect to this current human and appear weird since nobody can relate to them. Still can't tell what it is though but i know people treated me much better before so i do have some anger about that like people used to not look at me in the eyes out of respect i think? not sure of the memories. >Was thinking maybe you have something that makes the noggin joggin. Maybe later then. Sure that "ideal body" sprouted some extra arms again, and one of the hands was holding a flower with 8 petal doing a mudra. It is white, the next day i count again..16? one behind the other white and blue. But it's like holographic it doesn't stop. Then i saw pic related and that's literally the flower i saw and how the 8 petal flower and 8 angled star is a symbol of Inanna and was wondering if i didn't worship her in some form and how they had a different understanding of the gods back then and how the way i see gods right now is straight up immature. Unsure what to do except meditate enough to reach a deeper insight before trying anything as it feels like i am being invited by many groups currently. Oh well i'll connect to the earth more deeply and try to reach a medium with the planet moons and sun energies. Maybe my last human lives are just so old that this modern human stock is extremely foreign. I do have some body language that seems largely obsolete with the current population and i can't digest wheat but rice and other grains are fine. I tried aghain but the inflammation is extremely serious, i am making a sourdough starter trying to teach my body to adapt slowly. >Carnal desires is for mortals and mortals cannot command ghosts while gods don't care about carnal desires the same way as mortals anymore I don't think anyone is truly "above it" you just internalize it and work with it in a way that is always beneficial to you and others there isn't that feeling of lack or imbalance it's simply something you do??

>>5552 What is a demon? I am serious because people here have different definition, or i am just retarded. I consider many humans to have "dormant demon DNA" for example that they can awaken to create a tail and horns. >>5567 So just energies that do things? Anyone can do that! No everybody do that just looking does that! Not to say it's not done intentionally by some "groups". >>5568 >Those boards are full with energies like lust and rage. I knew we will have to somewhat break through that. Idk man i don't have the alchemy figured out but it seems like potent energies to use even if it's just for protection. It's already interlinked.. Also did you know posting with a different css change the energies like a lot? weird when i noticed. But i am still not that good at it like a parfume store smelling of 30 different parfumes. >Everyone either covered in fear or made shields so they can be "someone else's problem" I mean i could do a cleansing but it would be painful to anyone who connects. Like how if a higher being touch you you start vomiting all over the place. >and reintroducing proper internet culture and etiquette is necessary Order and Chaos again! Idk how to balance it..mm DNA? proper conduit learning map..idk man i am tired today. > Whenever I purged this site it became "sterile" with no organic discussions Rofl so it was you? I was wondering wtf was happening mr phoenix. >then let the energies flow back into the site people reported anomalies that they couldn't put anywhere but they had no way starting a discussion with that /fringe/ have plants though.. Ugh a way where everyone can work with the right energies but also go to the right place but also don't get nuked too harshly but also don't muddy the water.. I think different threads to hold a certain type of energies is necessary or we go all over the place. Understanding decay seem to be the current theme so i was thinking a necromancy thread would be the best right now but i don't know anything about it yet and i am still studying the "nature of the soul" was wondering if there isn't someone who did that stuff for years and can share their insight...someone someone

>>5601 >The film, Waking Life, is about just that. Thanks mr egg. >but what’s my dumb ass know? Come on man learn to be nicer to yourself.

>>5612 Any magician worth their salt should be able to manifest a job maintaining legacy COBOL if they so desired.

>>5616 I mean yeah, you can have anything! How much you want it though? If it's a general spell "I have this job" depending on your level it could mean uprooting your whole life crashing it and starting anew in a new city with that exact job, you might lose it a bit when you realize you did the god equivalent of pulling the rug under your feet and that the past hellish months were your own magic doing exactly what you told it. Point is it kinda sucks especially with timeline shenanigans that might make people change or drop dead or whatever else people do. All humans considerate their lives they expect it to be here, you expect to wake up tomorrow in the same bed no? so they maintain it, you could throw all this away right now but do you want it enough? What about the fear as reality melts in front of you? can you handle that? Personally i want to grow as much as i want and never find myself in this dilemma of incarnating like this with no memories in a hellish fallen world. also you glow

I am going through several changes in the past days again so I won't post much but I will say this for now. >>5613 >I think different threads to hold a certain type of energies is necessary or we go all over the place. Exactly. That is what I want. Wanted to make an elaborate explanation about it but lost motivation... If every thread has it's signature and everyone will have a way to find their "Pathworking" in it then there won't be a "dominating energy" on the board that everyone will have to either subject himself to or oppose it. If you like the thread you interact with if not then leave it. It's literally how "Polytheistic" traditions worked. This my god only and everyone else is a false god is an absolute misunderstanding. The "You have to take a side" mentality needs to go. Not every tradition must be practiced by everyone but that doesn't mean they don't deserve respect in some regard (tho I must agree some followers give a bad streetcred to their tradition in some cases. And the most respect you can give to "cancer" is by curing it and not by tolerating it's spread) >What is a demon? In this context they should be called "energetic parasites" that force the people into a behavioral pattern that generate degenerative energies/actions/posts where they can nest and spread. >I am serious because people here have different definition It refers either to the "Daemon" the spirits of the golden age or other respectable goetia demons and co which can be positive if you can handle them Or the christian "demon" definition which means any type of evil spirit. Anon meant energy parasites for sure which shouldn't be called demons at all because they are so low level 90% of the times. Very few of them are salvageable. Most of them mere rogue thoughtforms that came to life with the extreme level of low energies and obsessions from their makers. In some cases the "stench" of these low energies are so intoxicating it can corrupt some actual spirits to follow this behavior. Buddhism has a thing where they respect "every sentient being" so I picked up a way how I can notice it So weird sometimes. I walk outside after a rainy day and I feel my foot is not properly on the ground for some reason. Was wondering wtf then I put down my foot properly. Then I crush a snail under my feet... I am intuitively able to detect any sorts of lifeforms and measure the level of sentience in some cases but not always able to "respect them". I have to figure out how to attain my "Higher routines". Learned some new lessons in the past days and I am loss for words again.(Also when I was complaining about insects I was talking about mosquitoes) >I consider many humans to have "dormant demon DNA" for example that they can awaken to create a tail and horns. Actually most demons are humans. The human body possesses all living animals/beings on earth on genetic and energetic level. When merging or overcoming the inner animal they can integrate parts of them once they unlock it's "higher meaning". They "ascend" to a "demonic plane" as a semi-animal/human+spirit. I too have many animal body parts but they are mostly "placeholders" until I figure out their truth. >I mean i could do a cleansing but it would be painful to anyone who connects. "Cleansing" is about making your own energies or principles "dominant". Some people are maniacal about cleaning their house and keeping everything "tidy" because a speck of dust challenges their "energetic dominance". When you do a cleanse you make your own energies and principles "dominate" the place. Ofc it lasts as long as the energies have staying power and surface cleansing and in dejewsleansing is different altogether. Not to mention I want people to generate enough energy that we don't need to "routinely cleanse" because the interactions are just so potent it becomes hard to penetrate in any way. Hard to explain the "Nuance" and how everyone is part of a greater system because some occultists fall into a megalomaniac delusion where everyone is either with them or against them and that stage causes absolute drama and paranoia and I really don't want to bring that back. My goal is to figure out the proper background energy for this site that "shows the way towards enlightenment" instead of trying to tardwrangle the users into a behavioral pattern. Mindcontrol energies limits the expression and growth of others. I don't want to do that. >Like how if a higher being touch you you start vomiting all over the place. That is required so you get rid of your "stored" negative energies. I had that twice but never again. Nowadays I require more subtle training. What can happen when your energies are too much of an eldritch abomination the place becomes too "disgusting" to post. Like it will have an eerie forcefield. Wanted to make an in depth analysis of the "karma of fringe" a while ago but I realized getting rid of those energies is almost easier in some cases than actually detailing them. >Rofl so it was you? n-no... it was definitely not m-me! It was you and your procrastination and shyness b-baka! how can I a low level magician even think of influencing this great board! I don't do it often tho so it's definitely not 'always' me >I was wondering wtf was happening mr phoenix. Yeah the board really requires some "water" energies but it might cause unnecessary telepathy/extra intrusive thoughts for the sensitive userbase. My way is about disintegrating unnecessary energies and rerouting the useful ones into some "cultivator force". I don't really have much use for them personally. This <I looshfarm you lololo mentality is not applicable anymore. People will have to realize the energetic ecosystem egregores operate by and how they can improve it as they interact with it. Consider fringe the community garden of some "Looshfarmers". Tho I prefer the term "looshcultivator" and I do not wish to keep this on a "garden" stage. >/fringe/ have plants though.. Yes several hundred if not more. They are energetic stabilizers and recyclers. The least intrusive ones. This is why even paradise worlds have plants but not animals. They are just that useful on many levels of existence. The problem is that they are slow. >Ugh a way where everyone can work with the right energies but also go to the right place but also don't get nuked too harshly but also don't muddy the water.. Yes that would be the goal. >Understanding decay seem to be the current theme so i was thinking a necromancy thread would be the best right now but i don't know anything about it yet and i am still studying the "nature of the soul" was wondering if there isn't someone who did that stuff for years and can share their insight...someone someone Stop reminding me. Wanted to make that thread for months but aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I am in a breakthrough process again where I can trash half my previous methods that were crucial for my understanding because they become finally unnecessary. But you know what? You can also make that thread! Or keep practicing and hope others will make it instead. Seriously. It's always a big question. Refine your techniques further or start distributing it? Currently I have to refine it but that doesn't mean I won't start talking about once I reach a vantage point again. K this post became longer than I thought and messy as usual. >>5616 I remember how Merlin and Moses did that to reach their heights. Powerful Kobold legacy magic! You are not magician if you don't maintain your kobolds!

>>5617 I just said that about COBOL because you seemed to be a bit fatalistic about the whole programming job thing. Really, the first thing a magician is to do is sort out his living situation in order to be able to do whatever it is he wants to do. But you seem fatalistic in general.

>>5627 >dejewsleansing how the fuck did this even happen Deepercleansing was the word I wrote I think?

which wordfilter did I even hit here? dejewsleansing?

>>5632 I hate when I randomly discover this "lore" tbh I meant the cleanse to have "depth" At least glowniggers won't take down this site by spamming pizza on it that easily with these annoying word filters around.

>>5627 >I am going through several changes in the past days Same i wonder how synced we are btw. We share a mind through /fringe/ so i believe everyone will get a boost at the same time if they bother to get involved. but..timeline shenanigans is weird eh? is my moon your moon? was there even a moon to begin with? or simply a reflection of my self in a lunar shape? Me and the sun are trying to talk to each other wonder when it'll stop burning me. > Wanted to make an elaborate explanation about it but lost motivation... Here is the thing you already did what you had to do whilst "wanting to elaborate". I think we are mistaking calibrating for mistakes sometimes when it's just us trying to reach balance..then again getting eaten by a tiger is nature taking her share soo can't say my understanding of nature is for everyone right now. >If you like the thread you interact with if not then leave it. This is sacred esoteric tier knowledge anon! >It's literally how "Polytheistic" traditions worked Yeah you feel attracted to a god and worship him or her then as your relation get closer you might start going nuts and think you are the son or daughter of god and even get some proofs, as you get closer you change again so does your understanding.. but it's like people get stuck or maybe it just appears to me that way? Like if someone think he's the son of god he's gonna think that his whole life, but people don't even get to that point so someone thinking that i might say they have great potential these days.. >This my god only and everyone else is a false god is an absolute misunderstanding. It's disgusting is what it is. >The "You have to take a side" mentality needs to go. Not every tradition must be practiced by everyone Agreed, always felt like my way was "long lost" or unique because i couldn't accept any of the current "paths" their definition of God isn't what i looked for at all. Had to do my own things no matter what even if i drink from common waters sometimes i take what i need leave what i don't. But i'd like to say that's everyone you're just given a template learn the rules break them when you understand them, i would have gone with nature worship if it was practiced in my society and build from there but ofc none of that so i had to shield myself and wait for my time to reconnect somehow now i know better i can make it by myself without projecting my own feelings which end up as real threats.. >In this context they should be called "energetic parasites" that force the people into a behavioral pattern that generate degenerative energies/actions/posts where they can nest and spread. Oh this makes sense... buuut okay why are they born? If we all focus on a certain picture of a walking stick subconsciously we embody it with feeling and emotions through weak links that use our perception, eventually it might come alive and do what all our unconscious energies made it do. kinda like if everybody threw random shit in a pot and over time it either disintegrate or reach a stability. Ofc it depends on how much and of what you put, a quick glance isn't much, but if you think about it later through the link you may add more than people who barely noticed it. The thing is i am very curious as my understanding is missing something. Why is this possible in the first place? why can we do that? And of course, what is it born from? Astral matter? Yeah what is that? We act like it's a solid concept but everybody her have a definition no? Ofc sometimes it's hard to tell more or less dense? are we at etheric yet ? I liked how the Kybalion divided into 7 makes it easier to understand though this also is illusory..my fav number is 6 though What's behind the light? Then i started thinking of the universe, how one day everything will decay and even the photons will decay and even the waves and everything will fall back into..the void ofc It is nothing yet it contain the possibility of everything. It's where i was born, but see i wonder if there is a difference between say a human soul and a thought form. Aren't they both from the unmanifest? You could say one is from god the other from an imperfect incomplete god. See that's our problem we give birth and father monsters.. Then again idk how others work i might be the weird one but for me i can create out of myself but maybe everybody does they just don't have that link i have yet or refuse to explain it. >Buddhism has a thing where they respect "every sentient being" so I picked up a way how I can notice it Ok so my understanding is that, even if we fail this time and the universe dies we can start in the other buuuut It's like a drop of water joining the ocean and losing it's individuality to be remade into something else. so by the time an entity is sentient it can progress and always "repent" even if evil by learning what it do into the other it does to itself. >Actually most demons are humans.

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..are they? I came to the conclusion succubus are one of the "evolution path" of humans but i was wondering if they lost something important by doing that or not. The thing is a lot of humans aren't "people" at all like they may look humans but they lack something and i believe it's on a dna level. Kinda like if i made a body to look human but had no idea what it means to be that so i just use earthly dna to get the appearance right and call it a day. I am not sure if it's most people, or if the npc are just bodies who lack a human signature with no potential for a human soul to inhabit it or maybe if the dna gets too damaged the soul fucks off. >"Cleansing" is about making your own energies or principles "dominant" Too bad my "own energies" is more like a tiger pissing on a tree scratching the front door pooping in the living room and carrying a half rotten carcass to eat on the bed then i start breaking the windows and realize all i wanted was a comfy warm enough cave that made me feel safe so i can sleep and eat in peace. I don't want dominance i want cooperation i don't want any responsibilities i just want to do what i want to do and work with nature i work best unrestricted i want to figure myself by myself ultimately i pursue my own happiness and i want everyone to figure themselves out too! >Hard to explain the "Nuance" and how everyone is part of a greater system because some occultists fall into a megalomaniac delusion where everyone is either with them or against them and that stage causes absolute drama and paranoia. You eat fruit you poop fruit seed now more tree. You eat rabbit you throw rabbit innards you make plant and tree and dog happy by giving back. You feel sick you let blood out to the earth it goes you gave the feelings/energies back. You herd animal animal soul evolve with human and eating it "process" their energies into higher form oh look we got some evolvin going on! It's that fucking simple! Now that's not to the point where we can feed from sunlight or whatever but that's good enough for a start. And as you build a human ego?group soul?egregore? now you got a tribe going! Oh look the kid got eaten by a tiger..it's ok he will return! and what's more depending on how connected he will come back as one of us again! yay! When it's like this it's okay to die! You learn from the animals the earth the sun the moon the starts and you evolve! Now that's just my current understanding i am still digging it. And yes we can make this place "spin" have it's own energies and way of teaching that incorporate all the diversity of people instead of screaming and cursing each other. >My way is about disintegrating unnecessary Yeah but how. It has to disintegrate into the right form unless you're talking about "return to the void". Unless you want to become a tree here we have to find a way to make /fringe/ do it by herself. ok got a vision as i wrote this. So /fringe/ is a library/tower and right now we are under the roots eh? So as if we can manage to get this place going it'll shoot us up! connecting to the stars and the universe. >and I do not wish to keep this on a "garden" stage. Modern humans problems tbh. You take from the garden but you don't give back to the garden so the earth gets weaker till it's barren or you take energies from somewhere else to feed it but that's something that creates so much more problem in the long run not to say you can't do it ever if you know what you're doing you're just borrowing it for a time but gotta be REALLY careful I am against modern agriculture for this reason you impoverish the whole earth and rob her of her energies not realizing you'll pay it back in full eventually. but ugh..seriously the fuck happened to humans, i am dealing with issues that aren't even mine but more like "environmental resistances" as if i wasn't a mess to begin with! Make me want to break it all sink or swim assholes! >The problem is that they are slow. I have some "experimental" magic for that but i need to try it more. It just cause things to go through a cycle basically i am not sure if it's even a type of "magic" as it's just something consciousness should do? I am waiting to reach a stability before attempting anything. >and hope others will make it instead I don't need to hope i can just will it :D Problem is i hesitate when i can't see the whole picture i have my share of monsters-children. >Currently I have to refine it but that doesn't mean I won't start talking about once I reach a vantage point again. I used to be scared to talk about things now i am talking too much..pendulum yay Sure hard to reach any stability but i am less indecisive... got a vision of me as a hermaphrodite covered slightly in mud/ooze and blood holding 2 axes the one with a pointy end. these days i am more like a bunch of diamond shapes pieces rhombus some black some white some both floating around. Oh right wanted to say i discovered how my own feelings loop back on each other and one of the reason i don't get too attached to people is if i love them too much i want to hurt them. It's like if you love someone to death now you want to torture them and eat them but if they learn from your love they become you.. wait what? My energies are wild so i keep them to myself or i am forced to balance them, my cycle are extremely short so i can turn a good day into something dangerous if i lose control and let emotions leave my immediate spheres... Btw one of the reason i am posting so much more is because i always regretted not participating in the older /fringe/ like i needed to but also it wasn't the time yet. Have to free my feelings and only when it will feel complete can i move on, it's the same for everything. Also realizing how i am subconsciously recreating my own childhood with people i meet by assigning them roles with my energies.. it's weird how we try to heal even as we run away.. also >They "ascend" to a "demonic plane" as a semi-animal/human+spirit Got overtaken by a wasp spirit and started thinking myself as one. Strange energies but i realize some of my ways are that of the wasp and hornet especially the way i treat mantids..

>>5628 >Really, the first thing a magician is to do is sort out his living situation in order to be able to do whatever it is he wants to do. Yes and no tbh. <if only i had this and that then i could do this! I realized that, the issue i had in my parents house and the issues i have now are the same. That it'll be just as difficult to meditate in a shitty apartment with your neighbors screaming at each other as it will be in a mansion. That the stress you can feel because of financial troubles or safety reason will also show itself when you're rich albeit in different forms. So as a poor person you might worry about rent and food as a rich person you'll worry about business your children being retards, reputation etc. Now i am also against people gatekeeping magic. If you're in a bad situation nothing like a quick spell to get you out of there! My life was in danger before and i used magic to save myself again and again if i listened to "muh proper ritual invoke the name of god be selfless" guys i would have been fucked! My magic come from myself and it is for myself first and foremost i help other because i realize how we're al interconnected and basically "don't shit where you eat" and i want to eat from the whole world. Real selfishness is in fact selfless that loop can be closed. But once you can sleep enough and eat enough safe enough it's time to work on yourself and stop running away. >the whole programming job thing. I don't want a job i don't want benefits i don't retirement i don't want colleagues i want humans to be what they were supposed to be. I want us to work for ourselves first and only by doing that can we work for each other. I am tired of this facade we have going on i want to be my own ruler my own king not shit on other and be shitted on.

>>5664 >If we all focus on a certain picture of a walking stick subconsciously we embody it with feeling and emotions through weak links that use our perception, eventually it might come alive and do what all our unconscious energies made it do. You are describing a meme. >Why is this possible in the first place? why can we do that? Because thoughts are alive, and thinking is an act of sex and birth. Everything that exist is in motion, and motion is life. All motion is life. Literally. Everything breathes and everything has a heartbeat. Rocks have heartbeats. >Astral matter? Yeah what is that? First, what is astral? If I project to Narnia am I in the "astral"? I think it's just baseline reality frequencies. Frequencies more dissimilar to where the awareness is seated appear less dense and less stable. And what is "matter"? Physics says matter and energy are the same thing. Energy and thoughts are also the same thing. What's the different? Phase-states? Level of motion? Something like vibration-resonance maybe. Try connecting your mind to a rock then connecting your mind to a ghost. Also I think "matter" is a lot less solid than people think. The religion of materialism helps it increase its stability. But that's just a thought-attribute at the end of the day. You can see the same effect in certain dreams and astral planes.

>>5666 You are describing a meme He described alotta memes actually; he described the natural formation process of egregores.

>>5613 >Also did you know posting with a different css change the energies like a lot? Changing your computer's desktop environment and themes also does this. Very dramatically. I used to run XFCE that was riced to look exactly like Windows 95. Somehow this caused an energetic disturbance in my computer that caused major bugs to constantly pop up in the website that I work as a manager for. This issue completely went away once I switched desktop environments back to GNOME.

>>2916 >but I cannot turn them into lions A lion! yes i am one too! And gazelle and giraffe as well but only managed to make the lower body get that right now. I moved to a colder region and started going out especially at night in the snow, my whole body was hurting like hell and i realized how weak living in a heated home made me. Meditated on the pain close eyes and send awareness there and become it and let the pain do it's thing just observing as i couldn't feel my hands nor my toes and remember how in FMA Edward would scream when Winry attached his automail because it needs to connect to the nerves to work? Asked myself if pain was really an enemy or if it's just my body screaming for "awareness" in that part and maybe it's not just "pain" but "my pain" the pain i refused to see? but is always there. So i focused and i could feel the blood vessels moving and growing and the nerves reaching new parts i now have better control of my toes and realized my awareness is like a small orb who never grew properly in this body and that it all comes down to shame put on me by parents teachers etc which blocked a natural process I ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO DO! A big dog came to me, i keep attracting them they just want to play, this one was rolling in the snow and i could hear his breathing and feel it vibrating in my body realized i just don't know how to breath and that the reason is because i tried to keep it as nonthreatening as possible and didn't want people to hear me when i should take full lungs like a lion and roar. Also remembered of "working" forced to work with my dad in his store and him punching my back and ribs to "not stand like that" and realized their idea of good posture is that of an insect drone worker not a human and that literally something that happened at 6 fucked me up so much. Had a dream where my whole family was crying as i told them i am going and never seeing them again i then took the trash out from my mind literally some huge bags i packed up then dad appeared to tell me how bad i am and tried to hit me with a wooden spatula, i broke it like a twig cornered him and told him to "go die" and he did. Still working on that as i also have huge issues with my mom she never was my mom to begin with she simply used me to buy herself acceptance with the group and "society" as she thought being a mother meant she "made it" and she never evolved past that, she's not a mom at all! Also learnt how to give orders with my throat not sure if it's a lizard thing but it seems to evolve into animal growls later on. I am honestly even more lost than before but that's because i never really had the full picture. I am only grasping how these energies connect and how language itself make us connect and maintain what binds us as we "accepted" the concepts to understand them but it's not language it's concepts and meaning that relate to language, like pushing a pure energy through a shit pipe to compress it into a square? hard to explain. But it's all malleable it can all be broken and remade,most of it is just trash to be purged. And finally realizing how much anime teached me how it showed us that if you believe in yourself everything is possible that the feeling of pain shame that blocks us from reaching our goals can be pushed through! Remember how they close their hands like how you would make a punch to prep themselves before trying something they never did but "WE CAN DO THIS!". Realized how it hurts but it's good pain that make you feel your whole body and push through any obstacle! Also realized i am moving my whole body wrong, energy comes from the "genitals and stomach" it's the fire that moves the body, the limbs are passive to that. instead i move my limbs by contracting them which is not just inefficient but creates all sort of problems. Can't believe i never learnt to be human. And my problem with wheat is some "authority" or energy sphere i am not accepting as it is too painful, still wonder what it is but i hate it's influence and that's why my body goes on war mode if i eat it. <EVERYTHING IS FORGOTTEN AS I AWAKE FROM THE NIGHT. NOR TRUTH NOR LIGHT NOR SOUGHT NOR KNOW. I AM THE ONE I AM THE EARLY AND I AM THE NIGHT. Yes this happened i was watching the stary night yesterday and how the stars communicate energies and how we can learn from them just by looking.. The morning star eh? Sure can take some navigation in this tumultuous sea. funny how Netscape use the morning star here and a wheel on Netscape navigator..yeah that kind of wheel Right now it feels like "threading the needle" as i am connecting points future past and present to reach a deeper understanding, but everything between that is being lost at sea..oh my horn that protrude out of my third eye is the compass! My energies are moving in strange ways like a liquid fire can't say who is or isn't me anymore. also it's disgusting how we got brainwashed into thinking we can't learn shit "it's not real" if we don't have an authority figure yelling at us and drinking our juice and making us a miserable juice drinker like them because that's the current system. DISGUSTING! THESE ARE NO HUMANS!

>>5666 >You are describing a meme. Everything is a meme! >Because thoughts are alive, and thinking is an act of sex and birth. Everything that exist is in motion, and motion is life. All motion is life. Literally. Everything breathes and everything has a heartbeat. Rocks have heartbeats. Yeah i am just getting worked up on what's the passive or active part and what is the difference between my own subconscious and mind stuff the void and what is the "external". It's hard to explain because saying "WE ARE ALL ONE" isn't helping much, we can both accept we are one but also individuals but that doesn't mean we understand it. So my current understanding is that what is yours or not is just a territory authority thing, like how an animal piss on a tree to say it's his but also how you know your fingers are yours as you control them but if you truly owned your fingers nothing could surprise you, "people" have cancer without knowing that's how low the awareness is they can drop dead and they never knew why. If you can project an awareness like that and maintain it it becomes part of your body and you become the true owner so to speak. So the difference between me and the rock? well to acknowledge the rock exist i have to send an awareness by looking at it which create a link making it "rock-me and me" ..but it's like looking at a mirror and even though i understand the mirror is but my tail and i have to grow into it to get it and then it will move as i move. Hard to explain so many understandings to go trough and they are all half-truth till then. >Frequencies more dissimilar to where the awareness is seated appear less dense and less stable. This is very interesting, forced me to change my mind again to get it. So if i want to become a hawk i don't "devolve" into the mind of a hawk but rather grow my awareness to encompass the "truth hawk essence" dna is information after all but it's also much more "understanding of the mind/awareness complex of the hawk" is what i need but also one so big it also encompass my human self.. Though i may have to become a human first. >What's the different? Phase-states? Level of motion? Something like vibration-resonance maybe. ohhh no we need a word let's say spirit! >You can see the same effect in certain dreams and astral planes. True always wondered how it works some are almost as "real" others even more "real" then you have foggy messes. Was wondering if it wasn't a feedback of projection of awareness "shards", idk hard to explain. I don't think these normies have any power tbh, it's like a "please keep the lie or we all sink :(" not a projection of authority they don't own nothing even countries don't own their land it's all a lie. >>5704 >Changing your computer's desktop environment and themes also does this Was gonna install a new distro decided to try Artix as i felt an influence there..this is the current default wallpaper....yup >Windows 95 I am feeling an influence pulling me there, wanted to use excel 95 very badly for some reason and to learn the ruby programming language to make bots. Felt nostalgic and wanting to install windows 95 maybe even get an old pc.. I am guessing it's the greys uh?

>>2019 >"You've got the right idea, but the wrong target. Kill yourself - not your body, but the you that is no better than swine. Kill that bastard completely, and let your true self bloom from the decaying body of the old." Had a dream where i observed someone talking and realized it was "me" and i sprouted/bloomed from him like a flower i was made of golden energies/nectar and had wings and realized it was my old skin talking looked at him and didn't recognize and was like "Who is this?" So noisy! I am still half stuck. >The Flower of Hell I have one she ate most of my dirt to make it move, i think it's one of my bodies my real bodies not this. >>2021 >Annnd Higurashi had an opening with this name >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PoCxreRoA0 I was gonna do it here and clean everything but maybe not.. Message received.

ROFl got splashed with blood! Was carrying a big bag of meat whilst killing parasites with fire and it "fell" as I put it down it jumped more like it This happened during a "gap" of awareness as I was busy fighting calmed me down tbh not even mad about it needed water I was seeing red lol. It's so weird how "entities beyond current understanding" communicate. It also showed me how this happened using a backdoor in my mind "I AM SO LONELY" and a minor "ANYONE PLAY WITH ME!". So from what I gather they need me to have a certain type of energy so they send suggestions and if I accept them this open more door to interferences and communication. Still no idea how to know which one are bad. Sometimes I know it's a tiny me who is having a tantrum and throw things around. I remember as I was traveling " suddenly" seeing chinese dragons everywhere, alcohol, brands stores etc Also still unsure if I like technology? I remember how internet used to feel but now it's..gross So I liked CRTs but also big laptops but somehow new tech is " wrong"? I think we were supposed to evolve spiritually alongside tech and not this hell. I wonder if we can have tech without ruining our planet? wondering if there is a way to evolve spiritually and technologically as a species? Though I am more interested in my own evolution and not "we're all in this together" which never work if you can't stand on your own, we're all Lions or we're all Zebras and we know how much they care when one of their own gets eaten "better you than me". I need to find a way to have many minds available at once right now I am merely adapting to reach an understanding and freak out when the baselines change too fast. Also was asking if there was a way to "own someone to protect them" and if I would be responsible for their karma with that link and someone said. <just protect them under the name of the queen of belzebuth Wut? I have been hearing buzzing sound for days it comes with a bell sound and it makes the parasites leave my body I though it was a bee but then saw a green fly. It's a complicated situation as I am in fact lonely and do like playing with spirits and if it end up for my benefits that's good but sometimes I wonder what that mentality attracts. I am gonna rest and do some mental hygiene stuff this is becoming a bit much and do some cleaning as genuine interactions can be used as templates for further parasite infections kinda like leaving the door open for a guest and forgetting to close it. I think people call that "boundaries"? Though some spirits are so simple it would be like asking a dog who comes to play " what are your true intentions beast!" I am stuck in extremes I am either welcoming to everyone or goes on a rampage as I dance in blood.

I've realized that I must interface my mind-vibrations more with reality as it is. Higher-resonance planes of existence. My will must be akin to the bones of the world. This world. Because this is where I am right now.

>>5627 >Actually most demons are humans Probably a dumb idea I just got; does this mean that a typical human's shadow will become a demon after the human dies? Such that the more the human repressed depraved desires, the more powerful the shadow, and thus, the stronger the demon?

I had the strangest dream, i slept consciously for the first time and saw everything this "me" fade away as the train approached it's final destination, i got to the 3 number stations. I wasn't alone but i can't say what they said to me it's too personal. But i got scared i would lose my human body, scared i would fry it and have to restart. This is one of my last fears that keeps me from jumping. When i woke up i was myself for the first time since i was a young child. But i am in shit right now as you can see. Also thanks to whoever sent me that astral mail, i received it on a phone in the train. I don't really know how to read them fully could only read some part, maybe i was scared how right about me it was the flowers are beautiful! I am opening my root, or else i won't give myself a choice if i witness it all at once. It's very hard brother just touching it how do i even accept that! The walls are paper thin the last hurdle of a lost child. Maybe i just want some comfort but i can't find any. Was it all in vain? this fake talking corpse i mean. Maybe this was needed? i wonder. In the past days i noticed increased "polarization" of the people around me, they cemented their choices it's all in the open now for everyone with eyes to see. It feels unreal. I felt the fear of death before, but never like this, as if i never believed in my own death? Maybe you'd understand brother, what if it's too much at once? I wanted to make this body be a tool of my divinity and not a prison, but i don't want to lose my human access you know? Can this body even be human..maybe i am lying to myself again i need to jump already. Anyway i am releasing the old energies, saying goodbye to a few things and after that..sayonara.

>>5786 I figure this means you’re gonna leave your current physical form outright and move your soul elsewhere. May your next incarnation, physical or not, be a good one, and may you not have to start all over again via. forgetting everything if you don’t really want to. I’ll miss you and your weird longposts that I try to make sense of.

>>5787 Uh right after posting that I wanted to type something related to video games into a blank notepad.exe in front of me, then I felt a compulsion to just type something anyway with no ideas in my head even if it’d be gibberish. I think an entity tried to do something resembling automatic writing because I then felt compelled to look at specific keys in a sequential order. It said “joke box”maybe that was jukebox?, wertthat one might’ve been confirmation bias grow nerd human I felt like it was supposed to relate to your next life but maybe my confirmation bias is just going wild idk.

>>5771 >does this mean that a typical human's shadow will become a demon after the human dies? I like the term "Hungry ghost" better. The ghost cannot go to an another realm because the earthly desires keep it here but it cannot keep it's form together without feeding on humans either so it causes problems. >Such that the more the human repressed depraved desires, the more powerful the shadow, and thus, the stronger the demon? That is a TLDR that I will not get into now. To be a full fledged demon you have to generate your own energies. They will have to find a dimension a "realm of the samsara" where they are "kept alive". I don't like to call those beings demons in the "evil spirit" manner. >>5786 >I had the strangest dream, i slept consciously for the first time and saw everything this "me" fade away as the train approached it's final destination, i got to the 3 number stations. Yeah I dream with trains when I am switching timelines all the time. I too had a dream like this a week ago with a forgotten side of my child self. Wanted to write about it but... I am unsure what to write nowadays. I have to meditate instead of writing. >Anyway i am releasing the old energies Gambare >saying goodbye to a few things and after that..sayonara. Scaring egganon again smh. I want to say many things again but I think it's better if I let you go through your process. See you on the "Other side". There are no sides. Just mere walls you have to break with(in) your head. I remember when I had this constant "death" phase. So many things need to die. Even I have hard time letting some of them die even nowadays. Only those things can die that live. If you never truly lived can you truly die? What it means to live anyway? Are we living only to die? >>5788 The jokebox of the grown nerd human. >next life He will have to embrace his current life first. He still didn't manage to overcome his hate towards himself towards the world and towards life itself. If he hated this world so much he wouldn't be here. He doesn't know why is he on earth. He will have to figure that out sooner or later. The awakened cannot keep themselves on earth with meager mortal shackles. They have 2 choices if they want to stay here. Find their true purpose or go back sleeping. He will have to finally see his own reasons. We all do. Also I am not spoiling where he is jumping now. I am awaiting his report from that place. I am excited as hell tbh

>>5786 Just make sure to listen to your intuition. Don't try to rationalize yourself into doing something that your gut knows is a mistake.

In the past weeks I am going though quite hard to explain minor mental tuning process which made me longpost less especially in complex topics. In the past days I had to accept a better realization of nothing/formlessness. Imagining "nothing" is hard especially if you want to use it as a "substance". It's the true form of spirit but once you give form to the spirit it becomes an "illusion" and once you start using the illusion and think that the illusion/false-form is the "spirit itself" then it loses it's "truth" if your realization of the nature of the spirit is not "through" or "complete" within your "conceptual understanding". it's like thinking that the orange juice box is the orange itself and once the juice runs out you still consider it as an orange. The illusion becomes the "wrapping" so it can become "tangible for the mind" but once the spirit runs out it's just an empty shell without meaning. Hard to explain because it's hard to know which shell contains it's truth/spirit "fully" and which one is just a mere illusion. The reason why I need "nothing" to take apart mental and energy blocks. I always broke them apart burned them or disintegrated them with some electricity or lightning like "substance". Had to realize that it causes energetic overloads and my bodyparts twitch uncontrollably my head wants to explode and I taste "blood" within my "brain" somehow... It was time to let go of "bruteforcing" again. I have to mantra "why am I keep hurting myself". I had to go through of realizations of death cyclic nature entropy etc and find a new definition of "life" again. The problem that to acquire a "skill" I still have to "Put it into words" to make it "tangible" for my mind. My closest idea of how "Nothing" works was like how air or oxygen "rusts" or oxidates a sword or iron in general. How "Nothing" takes apart an object of great meaning "without doing anything" or by doing nothing. This is the closest idea I can "accept" within the realm of illusion of rationality because I am a step away from the deeper realization and it's like I am at the edge of a cliff. If I "slip" here I might not know where I will stop. I have to steady my footing before making a "leap of faith" as usual. Do you ever start reading a book and unable to put down? Realizing some truths happen that way. You cannot stop halfway because it's like drowning (in madness and uncertainty) until learning how to swim in that new sea of information/perspective. A sea is the abyss death the great barrier for those who cannot swim. Those who can swim it's just a different terrain for them. I required this realization of "Nothingness" because I noticed that many of my meridians are still dirty or clogged and if I "bruteforce it" I just push the negative energy into an another part of my body and cause other problems. The reason why I had these negative energies because this was the "best way" my body was able to store/quarantine it by default. Accepting some of my ailments and not being annoyed by them then purging it with my overzealous energy work took some practice. The "how dare you to display weakness (of the) flesh" energy work. Currently I am trying to unmake this "karma" instead making the body isolate or eject it asap. Currently I am doing an energetic "brain surgery" but if my "blade" is wider or thicker than "nothing" then it hurts and it cannot open the meridian. It must be as thin as oxygen is taking out an iron molecule from a sword bit by bit. Ofc it's not "oxygen" it is a sort of "conscious energy" and what I am making now is like... "head wings"? It's like my hemisphere has a wing that starts from the right side of my forehead then stretches back into infinity... srsly if I don't think that it must be infinitely long then I fuck it up. It's like a wing or a fin? Like I am carving a wing or clearing this dirty human brain of anything that hides it's "splendor"? This internal structure shows it's new sides the more I can "polish it". >>5759 >leaving the door open for a guest and forgetting to close it. I think people call that "boundaries"? I think I mentioned it before and I want to write a guide for spirit work for a while but I will say it again. Authority is about "rules". The main rule for spirit work is if you feel comfortable working with a spirit or not. My own rule is that anyone is allowed to enter my energy field as long as they are willing to help me on the path. Ofc they have to appear in a way that I recognize them as helper or they can "Help as a stress relief". Bears and lions can leave their cave wide open. Only their own species will dare to walk into the cave and only if they "know it's safe to enter". When I am busy with mundane matters spirits don't bother me. They know that those issues cause me a sort of "stress" because my energies are... hard to explain. They know to not bother me. <just protect them under the name of the queen of belzebuth Oh right. Belzee... I have a shard of Beelzebub. She turned into a girl and I told her to control the bugs so they don't annoy me and showed me how my brainwaves change their trajectories especially when I am mad or unfocused. >saw a green fly. Yes they appeared for me too. They sucked something out of me? Or put something into me? I should look into this again I commanded them to take a form instead of bothering me. That's when I got a Belzee shard. She entered into a servitude contract. Almost forgot I have her... >I am stuck in extremes I am either welcoming to everyone or goes on a rampage as I dance in blood. Yeah iktf. My main rule is that you have to help on me on my path the 2nd rule is that "don't piss me off". The latter is never mentioned. It's a rule that my energies make clear. This is why most of my guides urge me to find my "calm" in the past years. We don't even see how tense and stressed we are in the current age. It's ridiculous. Whatever. I wanted to tell you something about your shapeshifter nature. What the entities told me is that you need a "master" that teaches you about a "shape" so you can have a "footing" a sort of "checkpoint" a "fallback" form. If you shift constantly you don't know who you are and lose yourself until someone captures or "teaches" you. The thing is. You don't require a "new master" because you have many "fallback forms" already. Many "shapes" you took up previously. You will have to shift into those forms and "remember it's truth". Not like it's "overtakes your mind" or anything but you remember it like you remember your home address even if you don't think about it for weeks. You will have to go back to a "creation" vantage point. A point that you can consider your "first form". Then once you realize your truth you will have to "shift back" being a human. One that encapsulates all the "real truth" what it means to be a human. Currently you are fighting the false memories or misconceptions of "what it means to be a human" and because of that you cannot take the form of a "real human". A "conceptual human (taught be science and propaganda)" and a "personal history of human/your life experiences" is arguing about it like children arguing about world politics within your head. You will have to go through it and find something that "resembles you" but in a form that you didn't notice so far. Hard to explain better because I am going through a similar phase but my main components are completely different. I made a false ego to protect the inner parts of me and because of that I just have to "shed my skin" and let my protected parts witness the horrors of this world but I cannot explain what horrors I have to witness at all. They are so fundamental people don't even "see them" most of the time. Had to realize how the "heart" sees the world. Seeing all the connections that exist within existence. "Follow your heart" they say... it's more like letting your heart show the way. It's an infinitely long maze of delusions and horrors that I ignored for decades to save my sanity. People are horrible and they accepted it as normal for too long. Survival of the most horrible... That's how people operate for too long. It's never survival of the fittest... But the thing is... there is a remedy and it is applied through the ages several times just no one sees it. The horrors always get reshaped. By something or someone. Finished reading Mieruko-chan (where the fuck is the new chapter btw). The "gates of heaven" for the evil spirits are never pretty in that manga (so far). Let's say there are other forces that make the world purify it's energy as seamlessly as possible. The problem is that to "see them" you have to become "one of them". Let's say not all of them as horrific as they are in Mieruko-chan but some of them look even worse. That author is truly channeling something interesting. Didn't dare to look into his "inspiration" yet. How the fuck do you start randomly drawing a twitter manga with a wife and 2 kinds then get a serialization within a week. Shinto gods are pulling something funny there again. >>5793 This btw. You will have to find your internal "compass". But your energies feel calm for some reason. I am not as worried about your pathworking as I was several months ago. I mean I can see how you want to "rip off your skin" and trash and groan constantly inside and energetically but it was weirder previously. Previously it was like you wanted to rip off one of your arm so you can bludgeon others to death with it.

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Can't really put it into better words... Oh and also your "previous forms" are like subdimensions. They might appear as different worlds with the "deity" that helped you to manifest the form. The deity is (You) but more like the "inspiration" that "made (You)". I think you will be able to explain that part better when you are through it. I am interested in that part a little. I experience it differently so I cannot relate to it well enough. Oh and found this meme in some humor thread. It's not half bad. Somewhat applicable for this thread.

>>5820 Also I am realizing why meditating in a cave for 3-15 years is paramount so I can finally drop this constant need to "rationalize" everything. And the more I let go of this need of rationalizing/wording my thoughts/practices the less I can talk about it. Then I ask myself what is even the point talking about it. Besides bumping fringe and practicing my literary skills At least I could contain within a single post as I was talking about literally nothing. I should make some thematic threads for other practices. Or just meditate until my consciousness levels up again.

>>5821 >>5821 Well posting stuff like this can help people out with their paths. You hold your progress back so that you can help others with their own progress. The main question is how much you get outta not putting your practice on paper vs. how much others get outta you talking about your practices. I've read this whole thread, and I'd imagine that I'm probably gonna learn alot more from it when I read it during my eventual life review than I am now.

Power is a means, not an end. Having a goal to "get power" isn't a real goal, so it's hard to achieve. If you have a real goal that requires power, you will attain power in the process of achieving it.

Kind of wondering if I have some kind of "spirit guide" guiding me into places or have awakened some ESP . I remember seeing a lot of static/sprites in my memories of the past, leading to me not being able to see everything in full "3D". I know not everyone is going to memorize everything, but after going through some unfortunate experience, I'm starting to sense some kind of "sinister current" in my life that has steered me to a certain place. Only now do I possess a degree of clarity, which is quite weird as certain events in the past almost two years are almost either non-existent or something I can't seem to remember.

>>5905 >I remember seeing a lot of static/sprites in my memories of the past, leading to me not being able to see everything in full "3D". Yes that happens. Having the ability to see spirits is mostly about the visual cortex's ability to generate the proper images. "Seeing" spirits is about "seeing through an another hole" into reality. They mostly call it the third eye's ability. When the static happens it means the visual cortex is being stimulated by "other forces". Ofc it can be your own shoddy energy work too but in some cases spirits try to press open your third eye. >I'm starting to sense some kind of "sinister current" in my life that has steered me to a certain place I am unsure what you mean. The past 5 years were quite unfortunate in many regards. Only the prepared and the wildly fortunate had it easy. But yes there are currents that can guide us but it's not easy to notice them. Sometimes you just need to snap out of it while in other cases you need determined efforts to climb out of it. Guiding forces shouldn't be "sinister" but in some cases the sinister current might have been around in your entire life but they are only letting you notice it now. Maybe you are ready to face it. >Only now do I possess a degree of clarity, which is quite weird as certain events in the past almost two years are almost either non-existent or something I can't seem to remember. People who got vaxxed reported similar symptoms. But in some cases a state of perpetual depression and monotone lifestyle can cause symptoms like that too. Personally I can sense 4 beings that watch over you and many minor ones that just hang around but they are quite formless. I don't know what else I can say besides that try to pray for them to appear or go into a deep trance and let things appear in your mind. First it will be noise and mostly your imagination playing on you but if you keep doing it for a while you might get something out of it.

Sup Right just a small "report" since I am doing "shadow work" Labels are interesting I hate them! Was contacted by some aliens beings showed me pic related, said they were from Sirius b and my "children", complicated,If you ask for my help appearing as my child is courtesy but there is more than one way to make someone that birth is just the most common transfer of poison wasp rape is also something that can make someone my child. Two spirals top is black the bottom white a clan born in the middle. learned later Sirius is a twin star and one is a white dwarf make sense, they were chill just helped them fix some land's energy flow. Btw I was wondering about cockroaches and they're a kind of " sacred animal spirit" their energy body is extremely efficient and they can teach many things, I also have an elephant spirit guiding me now which is cool. I also started walking outside at night more and both Venus and Sirius make my pineal gland tingle have a feeling to go north in the polar circle. Then I had the most wonderful idea of using masturbation to break shackles and limiters, similar to what the magic 101 guy was talking about. You go very far one way go very far the other in the middle a blue wheel then a throne. It's horrifying but it opened my eyes like clearing dirt but its still on your face at least now I know these parts are like a black flame and smoke over me blocking my view. I have some intrinsic energy work I do but it's too early to share them with the state of the board it's like we go from shrubs to overgrown mess and keep burning it Frankly I am not sure what's going on like I am Sirius trying to reach Orion "the most beautiful" wtf? Orion looked like a swastika not the nazi one when I was dreaming/projecting. Oh yeah had a spirit of a blue crab and the a blue whale too a Few days ago. The whale said <you can go deep but still need to breath How embarrassing :/ Also Jupiter is blocking me so I am still here :/ he had rings which is a werid energy structure if you ask me, i have to beat him. Anyway shadow work is like harder than anticipated, like accepting thoughts like wanting to kill and rape yeah sure human stuff. Doing it with part of myself to free the energy? Yes easy I fucked myself before this way and we carve each other's face during arguments sometimes. Accepting that I also want to get fucked by almost all the men I ever met and "ride them to death"...where are you going? Mommy and Daddy issues are terrible but also some part of me aren't available in this body yet so it's like reconstructing a puzzle from raw matter. Had the brilliant idea of taking THC whilst doing that, the idea is I can handle anything so no matter how I fuck up I can fix it with a stance... Some shadow thing started fucking me no I mean really like I had a red female demon body with stripes appearing on top a few days ago and guess it awakened that kind of sexuality physically I could feel my uh "astral vagina" with great detail getting fucked, like full possession where I can only observe. I thought he was gonna kill me when he put pressure on my neck and I could feel the bones there touching this was all very physical. But nah guy is fixing my back issues activating my tail all that. Dude is just myself an aspect of my "rapey male" now I get why I can't talk to female spirits using my male forms.. Then 2 adults appeared they're both harsh but teach a lot, like the male touch my organs pull my hair etc the female does weird embarrassing thing like putting her finger in my butt cuz apparently my mom gave me weird complexes changing my diaper wrong and hurting me. Almost broke tonight after second fucking session dismantling my male ego and all that dude was like gonna kill me with many hands then realized " wait a minute I am a mage!" So I just burnt everything to calm us both, now I am sitting wearing some astral beads to chill the fuck out wondering wtf is wrong with me. Reason I am saying this is cuz I feel people here are too PC spiritually so might as well talk about it. The most important part I didn't mention yet is how all this relate to digestion, I am digesting my past digesting all my fears pain disappointment etc in many ways I never accepted society or civilization so it's a weight on my stomach, hardcore feelings but I am finally eating that experience, every morning I wake up with nausea and deep fear and I process part of it each day. It still hurts you know I like this planet a lot and the state of things..then again it's like 96% NPC for me rn so I feel more free, human shaped by karma vs karma in human shape ;) I am at the stage where usually people start to shut the fuck up about their practice, honestly I hate the feeling too when people look and add their self doubt so now you have to kick that karma but I can handle myself better now so it's not like I mind strangling a few more corpses if some retard can't handle themselves. Ah what am I saying I just feel grateful.

>>6098 So are you a man or a woman?

>>6098 >like accepting thoughts like wanting to kill and rape yeah sure human stuff Have you ever really wanted to rape or kill, or did society merely impose those desires upon you when you were growing up? Or was it the media that you'd voluntarily consumed that imposed them upon you? Or maybe they glorified it and you fell for it? Or did you grow up hating rapists and then get anger issues about it that you could never let out and then the anger issues made you desire to rape because the only way that the anger can come out of the bottle is for the anger to go inwards by making you become what you hate? If you don't hate them anymore, had you used to hate them?I think that's kinda what my problem is tbh, but for all I know some portion of it might relate to you