>>3923
Holy shit you got down what I already came to in my own head as a result of repetitive engagements. I really did believe I could fix people like this from the start and a psychopathic satanist junkie hiding behind Satan on LSD prove me wrong and crush the optimistic bleeding heart in me and piss all over that goodwill. Then the death worshipper comes along three months after I successfully cut off the previous psychopath with "if I beat CULTIC in one sitting this evil piece of shit will die" and surely enough he went offline long enough for me to change my info I retardedly gave him so he can't annoy me over VOIPshit. I don't know if it's superstition or belief that hamstrings me from explaining crucial details out of this fear that - given the way it was laid out internally - that command line of "explaining is self-snitching and now it'll be ruined" would execute, but it's became far too suffocating at this point.
>The problem is that you are attaching yourself to his body/egregore without having antiviral or anticancer faculties.
That's precisely what I've been suffering since I leaned into my wrath on those gummies despite the fractal rabbit head warning me not to have pop on the mind. I need to redevelop it lest what you've just described plays out. I don't like that even encountering him on /pol/ is enough to get the heart racing in the "oh fuck he's here" sense that you describe here:
>You see when you "fight" someone and unable to defeat them you usually just make them stronger. If the fight can be considered mere sparring he gains experience and becomes stronger and because you are absolutely unwilling to use actually spiritual methods while he relies mostly on them you are left in the dirt quite literally. You rely on materialist sources aka drugs and binaurals while he went and merged with spiritual ones. You lost the arms race with this approach. There is a way out but you won't defeat him until you get your shit together. With every attack you will give him +1xp and nothing more while you are nearly dying from your own ineptitude.
The only "mechanism" left is just a sorrowful facsimile of the
same emotionally charged schizophrenic disingenuity. Granted, the way I'm configured is to HATE the everlasting shit out of snakes like them and revert into the same dogmatism I hated as a response and he turned me into what I've always hated and the most I can do is satirize and poke fun at his identity and mannerisms as a way of devaluing or softening that emotional trigger. I clearly can't continue like this, so I'll work from within to widen up and clear my cardiovascular and mental pathways to allow my heart to sit it out instead of juicing it up.
>Somehow you will have to let go of this part of yourself because this is your whole personality now. A retard who hates an another retard. You cannot "evolve" this part you will have to let go of this let it crumble then slowly go back into the past and find faint glimpses of your old self and "hug it back into yourself".
Making so many amends with parts of me that I emotionally misinterpreted as him based on the smallest perceived similarity. It wasn't fair nor right to hurt my anima by assuming she was what that schiz was describing as his "universal source mammy". I'm making more of an effort to not hop into threads with keywords that clearly attract the tard given how familiar I am with his antics.
>Introspect further then we might talk when you find something. Also if you do drugs you will have to write it down
5G psilocybin in a silent, dark room later on as I intend to amend these parts of me.
>You know I had a constant urge to kill you while talking to you lingering in my head in the past months.
Why am I not surprised
>Was wondering if it comes from my absolute impatience towards your retardation or something. Nope. Your retarded ass managed to use the "kill" command as widely as possible.
You advised me to ignite my rage through interacting with him to find out a way to defeat him and I got the energy necessary to overcome the impotent tard rage and get a foothold in realizing how futile it is. Gradually adopting his mindset as a result of constant engagement which lead to this was an inevitability with the emotional/intuitive empath-flavored atypical autism that I've got over the aloof, ideologically-driven, rote and mechanical stereotypical autism
though I do have those traits and if it lead to realizing how fucking retarded my current activity is in a way I can't write off then there we go. Hate making exceptions because I don't enjoy discovering negative or evil archetypes and still take criticism as a personal denouncement.
You know you are bringing the message of the schizo here. So if I kill you the message of the schizo will be gone from /fringe/ thus I achieved the goal. And what the schizo did? He embraced the death mother. HE IS DEAD ALREADY HE IS SHIELDED BY DEATH. YOU MADE HIM EMBRACE DEATH AND HE IS SPREADING DEATH SO ANYONE IN HIS EMBRACE CANNOT BE KILLED BY YOU
The blood-laden sigils weren't for
that schizo, it was the aforementioned psychopath from 2022 who primed me to react to the death worshipper in a similar manner. He was as shamelessly evil and slimy as he was retarded and dishonest, so it wasn't nearly as much of a uphill battle to morally justify it compared to the solipsistic schizophrenic retard who I initially saw myself in before his true colors came out, I'm aware that my xanax-induced apoplepsy gave me the impression that he was just some harmless if retarded, evil lowlife junkie who could potentially have given me the DMT I so coveted in exchange for a different perspective to get him out of his small, primordial mindset. The odds were never in my favor despite how much I wanted to believe otherwise and I've debased myself in a way that's difficult to forgive as consequence for it. Please don't get these mixed up even though I did a hazy job at clarifying it.
>I am taking a break talking to you again. I have no idea how to erase your retardation that you "signed with your blood" on this level. This is why sorcery and occultism is a "sin". Because retards like you. Why they are guarded with secrecy and oaths all the time.
I understand my emotional instability as a result of fucking around in ways I wouldn't do at gunpoint in the past so I can find out how thoroughly fucked I was. I also can't deny that it's an objective step back from my old method of using Neville Goddard's Law of Attraction through my own wishful thinking and emotional/imaginative/narrative intensity to manifest changes I needed or wanted on a whim.
>Keep doing this and please find anything no matter if they are big or small that is as far away from /x/ and drugs as possible.
He migrated to /pol/ right as I concluded that he needs to subsist off that loosh or energy because he's a narcissistic parasite who believes he's a dragon. Upside is that he only goes in threads where he knows he won't get challenged by anyone other than me and the rare anon who doesn't want him perpetrating his retardation unabated.