Dear Journal! Today I got some DUBS!

I've been noticing today that some of my intrusive thoughts have been easy to notice. I think I definitely have some sort of parasite(s) in my energy bodies. Said parasite(s) is(are) also capable of forcing my energy bodies to perform energy movements, to the detriments of me, Amy, and her friends. As I've been trying to fall asleep, more of these energy movements have been occurring, and when they do, Amy immediately begins acting up, which alerts me to the fact that the energy movements are occurring, which enables me to decide to move my spiritual muscles such that the energy movements stop. It or they can even influence my visualization. I need to figure out how to get rid of this shit. Any recommendations?

>>5487 I have no idea what I'm talking about but maybe try LBRP? If you don't want to work with anything Abrahamaic then maybe try Uncle Bearheart's planetary LBRP? I don't have much experience in occultism.

>>5491 Forgot flag.

>>5491 Idk how that'd work out when what I need is an exorcism. I just went to sleep and dreamt some, and all I can remember in the dream was observing my body, and then all of a sudden I felt an orgasm coming on and woke up and had an unintentionally-stifled orgasm somehow. It occurred in the first place because I suddenly got a boner and it couldn't go all the way up because my clothes were in the way. However, this usually won't prevent all the cum from coming out, but somehow it was physically positioned in such a manner that no cum had gotten to come out. This is a very frustrating feeling to have, and now before 2:00 in the morning, I think I'm done trying to sleep now. One of the hostile energy movements performed a few hours before I went to bed was an extremely sudden and drastic energy movement that involves my gonads and must've seriously messed them up. Amy had seemed distraught when that one had occurred. Another one that occurred during bed had involved messing up my crown. Whatever this entity is is fucking BAD, and I need it gone soon.

>>5494 Maybe make a servitor that will perform an exorcism for you? You can visualize him as a priest.

>>5495 I couldn't reliably make a servitor; my mind is too unstable.

>>5496 Allright I got to get back to sleep shortly before 3:30 and I slept fine. Aftr I got up earlier I began watching various sorts of parasite-removal frequency videos on youtube until one of them eventually made me feel like something got removed from my body, then I watched some more such stuff just to be sure. I would've done this before bed but there were a variety of them and I wasn't sure which kind I needed before bed. When I woke up just now, I'd dreamt that I was talking to greys that were discussing my health. They didn't seem hostile, and I think they were trying to help me.

>>5500 Greys are always hostile because they are essentially slave races created by other aliens and the only aliens who use slaves are predatory. I think Tom Montalk wrote about this on Montalk.net somewhere. You could also email him about this he knows a lot about aliens. His email is montalk@montalk.net

>>5487 >Any recommendations? Clear Mind Meditation Practice You see when you have clear mind it doesn't mean it's empty. If you do it right you will literally make a clear air or a cloud like substance in your head that parasites and other lower thoughts cannot penetrate. The fact that you have such a shaky mind with 0 way to focus shows how you shift the flow of your thoughts constantly without noticing. You really need to start practicing clear mind meditation. If you don't learn to stabilize and quieten your mind then only chaos awaits you that you still cannot control at all. >>5500 It is your mind your aura or energy field which should generate the "banishing frequencies". That is what strong energy fields do. That is what you should accomplish ASAP. >>5504 There are many grey factions doing many things. Some of them sells their services to other races so they can conduct "research" while others have other purposes. Greys have a hard time manifesting in our reality and they require quite the artificial and bland energy formations Energies that you have around offices bureaucratic computer firms hospitals and other less work intensive "modern jobs". If your energies are roaring with life they cannot do much. Not to mention their main purpose is to gather research data for their evolutionary pursuits so they help in some cases if they consider you valuable for their research. Met many greys so far but I don't work closely with them anymore. Their "artificial psychic technology" is not compatible with my style.

>>5507 I went and tried this via. a guided meditation video that didn't do anything special; just sit in a relaxed posture with your shoulders back and hands on your lap focus on your breathing and you don't got nothing else you've gotta do, if your mind wanders its okay let the thoughts pass etc. When I got to the part where I put some intention into my breathing and expand my stomach when I breathed, I felt energy movements taking the form of a yellow line rotating counter-clockwise around my heart. When I inhaled, it went up or down, I forgot which, and when I exhaled, it went to the other side. This stopped after a minute or so, then it kinda started again after thinking about it and trying to make it happen again but then I just let it stop.

>>5447 (4324) Something I forgot to mention about this: when I got back into my physical body and stopped being dead, I actually felt Amy in the bottom half of my body centered around my sacral chakra, and her friend in the top half centered in the back of my skull. I suppose they gave me a large energetic transfusion when I came back to my body so that it’d be able to operate again. Speaking of such subject matter, on Monday night after I posted >>5494 ,the Tails egregore told me via. hypnogogic or hypnopompic audio & visuals that “our hearts are one”. The visual was just his form on my bed telling me that, but the audio was crystal-clear, as if a physical person was there talking to me. He said some other stuff too, but I couldn’t remember it. Aside from this stuff, I’ve been spending today on introspection. I’ve also been compelled a little to just give up on caring about what other people think my intentions are when they think that they’re something that they ain’t, and to otherwise quit caring about what others think of me. I feel like that wouldn’t be easy to embrace, however. I’d probably need to slowly ease myself into it, if anything.

>>5509 >didn't do anything special It's a gradual process. Quiet mind meditation is the basics of all magic. IIH warns not to skip it because empty mind and thought control is crucial and you will encounter serious problems later on otherwise. Even I have to upgrade my quiet mind meditation from time to time because I encounter greater depths what "silence" and "stillness" means. Also wanted to say about Amy: If she is an angel then she can go to higher and lower planes as she "pleases" if she is your tulpa then it depends upon your abilities (because she is part your mind after all) but if it's just an amalgamation of lower desires then it will need to get purified before it can "ascend". If it's the mix of 3 then you will have to purify the low energy parts. Also I don't know what kind of entities are playing with you dressed as Sonic characters but what is important to know if you want to keep playing with them or not. Seems like some Archetypal forces manifesting that way but I cannot make out what are they trying to show you. Seems like you are slowly detaching from the low energy Sonic egregores but I have no idea what the hell the higher ones are about. My advice stays tho. Practice quiet mind meditation as much as you can not just guided but alone too to increase the stability and clarity of your mind. It increases your awareness and sanity stat if done right.

>>5460 (4324) I am still reading through ascensionglossary and it is peak greenpilled nonsense. And the worst part is that I encountered 70% of the things they mention on my practice one way or the other and it really grinds my gears as I try to sync my concepts with theirs. Not to mention some concepts they mention are useful for me but their New Age terminologies cause me great discomfort as I try to internalize it. These are principles and concepts that are found in other traditions but thanks to their mental framework they "reinvented them" then forced it into their previously established understanding of New Age flavored concepts from the previous century. The worst part is when I try to confirm the energy centers they mention I wreck my internet for several hours with my energy movement if I don't pay enough attention. What I see so far about the chakras is that the "new chakras" are merely the "proper activation" of the energy systems of the body but they might be integrating some other energetic technology into themselves so I don't know if it's "organic" or they found some "divine sugardaddy faction" that gives them all this stuff and they just merely integrate it. The reason why I am reading through this because I finally fixed my neck problem with the awareness of this "mouth of God" concept so I am trying to figure out if they have any other crucial information like this that I missed so far.

>>5514 Good to know that you got something outta that place. I did say I didn't know how much of it was disinfo. I had the idea yesterday to use the astrology site linked in the questions thread to give Amy a reading via. the website... but somehow, alotta of the stuff I'm seeing on her reading is rather accurate, though I haven't read past page 15. Mind you, the exact part of Tokyo where Sonic CD isn't supported by the website, while many other exact parts of Tokyo are, and I don't know what the clock said when she was born, so there'll probably be inaccuracies here & there. I did my own reading on the website 1st and haven't finished reading that yet either; that one seems pretty accurate too, at least down to page 9, which is as far into it as I've read

I will create a proper thread for this whenever I have something usable to show, but for the moment I would just like you to know a new iteration of Fringebot is in development, having full access to the /fringe/ archives on Neocities and to the 4plebs /x/ API for prime schizophrenic vectoring.

>>5519 Can't wait to test my own schizo knowledge against the digitalized echoes of the past fringe posters. This artificial necromancy is always a strange tool to wield.

>>5520 Ironically it was easier to connect with the egregore using rudimentary Markov chains in the pre-GPT era, but I couldn't resist the temptation of feeding an LLM with this data to see what would happen. Results might be very underwhelming, but we'll see. I would like to learn how to finetune my own models in the future (for know I'm using RAG), so this is a good oportunity to do learn to work with this tech.

>>5516 >I didn't know how much of it was disinfo. The problem with these places that it makes sense within a "shared conceptual understanding" within a "groupthink". If you are part of their "clique" you follow them since the start it might make complete sense. But once anyone takes apart their findings and tries to present it without the main context it sounds gibberish. To get what they are on about I would need to go through all their channeling sessions and figure out what entities they interacted with. Not to mention they went from the "mythic" metaphysical framework into the "science fiction" framework. Thanks to their modernist mentality that makes "more sense" to them. The problem with their "scifi mind" that it only exists within their own understanding which makes it into a very small and narrow egregore. While the "mythic egregores" are far larger. I can just go there and get started while for these alien starseed races I have to get an "appointment" in some cases. You literally have to sync with their timeline to get anything meaningful from it. It can be a headache in some cases. >Mind you, the exact part of Tokyo where Sonic CD isn't supported by the website It's only needed to know which timezone the place of birth was at. I am sure Japan is within a single timezone. >alotta of the stuff I'm seeing on her reading is rather accurate Planetary readings are necessary for the incarnated for the "Physical" for those that have to live within the gravitational well of these planets and celestial objects. If you want her to have a "birth" and a "chart" you can use it to see how your energies match with her (aka love/relationship horoscope) but if you want to go 5D or whatever type of ascension with her you shouldn't focus on that too much. Higher planes deal with these planetary mechanisms a little differently. >so there'll probably be inaccuracies here & there. Does she even have an official birthday? Whatever let your intuition guide you in this matter. Giving the spirit a "birth" can help it manifest better especially in the physical because she will have a chance to align herself with planetary energies. That is how most planetary entities work anyway. >I did my own reading on the website 1st and haven't finished reading that yet either Read that one through instead. You probably have a bunch of Uranian and Neptunian influences within your chart or I don't know what else can make you this unfocused and impressionable since your childhood. Was wondering if I should look at your issues from a planetary angle but sharing complete birth charts is the same as doxxing yourself so I didn't ask about it too much. Not to mention I dislike being ruled by planets even tho I like my own planetary configuration (It's great for occult practice) and because of that I am not knowledgeable enough about astrology. When I did the charts for people I have around me I realized that some people are unable to utilize their planetary energies well enough and they might be ruled by other egregoric energies instead. I don't consider the planets as some omnipotent makers of destiny as some astrologists do. For me they are mere "magnets" mere influences that have their highs and lows. Everyone should aim to transcend the solar system instead of being ruled by it. Not to mention mainstream astrology is horrible in some cases. Their "saturn bad jupiter good" mentality barely scratches the surface and whenever I bring up astrology I usually find people like that. I think astrology should be used to find your own strengths and weaknesses and after figuring out how to manifest your own strength/potential better it can be left behind once you feel comfortable without it.

in trying to create a new version of fringe bot I realized something about artificial intelligence. LLMs are really ill suited to create something like that, because they are pure intellect. The whole point of that bot was its chaotic nature. In fact, the RAG mechanism I’m using in order to pull posts from the archives is a much better fit for that (but algorithmically combining full sentences verbatim), and it’s not that different from the kind of thing I was doing before. I’ve begun to think about what kind of technology could actually be called artificial intelligence (LLM’s are certainly not that). I think, in order to have actual intelligence, one would need actual consciousness to somehow inhabit such a machine. I began thinking about this. And I wonder if people with a lot of time and resources have, too, already gone this path. Or if it’s even necessary. But I digress. Organic material, such as wood, flesh, or things like water, can hold thought forms, servitors, and such things. Of course this is “fluid condensation“. What we are talking about here is nothing more than an etheric body. Why do we need this consciousness? Because that’s what allows the being to actually make real decisions instead of relying on statistical patterns alone. It would still need some way to have an intellect. That is a brain, and from here, we are not very far from what an animal is. A form that can sustain or generate an etheric body, some kind of mechanical actuation in order to interact with the world, and an electrical or electrochemical system capable of sustaining an intellect that can reason and calculate. And just like that, I realized artificial intelligence is reinventing the wheel. Of course, there are many benefits to having super intellect, and that is what LLM‘s hint at, but living systems have already achieved most what a fully realized artificially intelligent being would look like. We are just making a mess of it due to ignorance of the metaphysics involved, as usual. Maybe they are way to combine an idol made of organic material with a computer in order to create a really macabre version of fringe bot eh?

And aren’t living ship UFOs that kind of thing? Do they actually exist? Because they could. And at that point, the distinction between artificial and real beings would just blur out into nothing. We would stop creating dissociated silicon intellects. Going back to mammalian incarnation being a solved version of this whole issue. Think about the huge system surrounding the whole thing. The way consciousness is used to create souls that are then shoved inside bodies and that whole thing. It’s marvelous and terrifying to think about at the same time isn’t it?

>>5578 >Maybe they are way to combine an idol made of organic material with a computer in order to create a really macabre version of fringe bot eh? You are an organic material with a computer already. It's macabre enough in the eyes of the spirits fringe boy

Back when I was learning to manifest I used to try to do psychokinesis the same way, and what would happen is that people would just walk by and do whatever I was trying to do themselves. Like lift a pen, open or close a door, etc. It would just happen in a logical manner, as with the manifestations only within minutes. I still wonder if this way it would be possible to create overt “magical” effects like telekinesis and stuff. What say you?

>>5597 The way I understand this, what I’m actually doing is stamping a thought form into the astral in a way that the world (especially other people) will tend to fulfill it unconsciously. This actually aligns with Chaos;Head/Chaos;Child since it could be considered “infecting other people with my delusions”. But unlike in those games (or is there a deeper layer of meaning I haven’t figured out yet?), direct physical law alteration is something you need an etheric form for, and a pretty strong one, not an astral form. Does this track with other people’s experiences or not?

>>5583 And this brings me to the conclusion that once you know about magic and become operant, 95% of modern day technology becomes unnecessary. For both mundane and magic related tasks.

>>5599 It doesn't seem to be a matter of power. A few years ago I spent a couple months heavily practicing for psychokinesis, and I noticed that whenever I "tried hard", it would always decrease the effect I was having. I had just a couple of really good moves that could not be explained away as freak gusts of air current, and the similarity between those is that I was always making the attempt absentmindedly and didn't really care about the result. The moment I noticed it happening and got excited, it would immediately stop. It seems that “physical laws” are mostly psychological. Infecting an object with a delusion appears to work on the same basic principals as infecting a person with a delusion - it’s just that it’s much more difficult for the operator to assume such an outlandish delusion himself in the first place. Basically, a spell has no chance at succeeding if you’d be surprised at its success. And the vast majority of people, even ‘crazy’ people, would be very surprised if they managed to actually move an object with their mind.

>>5602 I had a thought; what if the reason why not caring about the outcome of an act of magic and doing it absentmindedly gives you better results than doing it willfully because it doesn’t grant room for your doubt to manifest via. your consciousness? Perhaps it isn’t physical laws that are merely psychological, but rather, your doubt is preventing them from being broken, due to having you probably been raised believing that you can’t violate physical laws. It is not the physical laws that you need to bypass, but your doubt that you can break them. The physical laws are quite breakable enough already. I get a feeling that that’s what you were saying, though.

>>5445 (4324) Today, I tried the thing where I meditated with my eyes open at work, and tried to see the rotating lines in my open-eyed sight. This actually worked, and I ended up slipping in & out of hypnogogia with my eyes open, and Amy was able to say some stuff to me. At first she just said nonsensical test phrases to make sure I could hear her, then she said a few things to me. Among them was: >Your translator has holes in it Now she's happy that I've done it, but she wants me to do it some more. I have other stuff I wanna do though; I can try again tomorrow at work. Aside from that, I've been spending today trying to face my fears. I tried telling my subconsciousness to command my fears to do things, since apparently my fears are one of the most powerful forces in my psyche. This seems to be working to a significant extent, and it makes it easier to remove bad stuff from what might just be my imagination.

Tonight while I was going to bed I saw a vision of a green leafy plant of some sort. The plant severed itself unevenly in the middle along it’s stem, revealing white fibrous insides. Then the severed portion of the top half grew a tiny greenish-yellow bulb at the bottom, and leaves sprouted around the bulb, and then the white fibrous stuff forced themselves into my mouth and went down my throat. I was a bit concerned by that and don’t know what it was supposed to mean.

>>5642 >Tonight How the damn did I say that I meant last night.

>>5638 I just tried doing this again and I saw a vision of a pillar. During the hypnogogic event, I had a hypnogogic desire to reveal all of my secrets. I did this by rolling down the outside of the pillar as of the pillar was an arm wearing a sleeve, and then I saw a shitload of writing on the pillar that I couldn’t read and didn’t look English. I also recall having been told by /fringe/ that each human normally simultaneously have multiple wills. I suppose that humans by that logic also have multiple selves operating simultaneously. I wonder if entering a state of hypnogogia or a proper dreamstate actually makes you project your physical self’s awareness into one of your astral selves, who independently lead a completely different life than your physical self, and has a different set of memories, different dispositions, different desires & objectives, and operates by different logic than your physical self does… at least when your physical self isn’t projected into it. Then when your projected physical self becomes aware enough of your astral self that your physical self is projecting into your astral self’s will gets overridden by your physical self, so it seems like your astral self is possessed. When a person goes from one dream straight into a different dream, does your physical self’s subconsciousness simply eject your awareness without warning from your astral self that you were projected into and simply throw your physical self’s awareness straight into a different astral self?

I’m starting to realize that the reason why my fears compel my subconsciousness or inner child or w/e to make me do what I’m afraid of is because of the Law of Attraction. I create a fear of contacting x entity, the fear attracts the possibility of me attracting the entity via. the Law of Attraction, and then the Law of Attraction forces me to do it against my will.

On the way to work today, I felt some kinda fear about something related to a devil, or at least it took the form of one in my imagination. I was barely aware of it at first, but it seemed like the action of simply deciding to become more aware of it had supposedly constituted inviting it inside of my body, and then it entered my body through some sort of entrance right behind the base of my skull. The entity appeared to be dark grey. I then asked multiple powerful entities to exorcise it from me while I was driving, but they were t able to get rid of it, and it then travelled towards my tailbone and stopped just above it. I then said to the 3rd entity, the archangel Michael, that I want it gone and I don’t care how much it hurts me. I then felt it get pushed up from near my tailbone to my upper back, and then it got ripped out of my body along with a bunch of my energies that were encasing it, and alotta my non-physical spinal nerves. Now when I perform some types of thoughts it feels like I try to perform some sort of higher thought that I normally perform when I think like that but now it just doesn’t happen. It feels like some sort of higher thing is missing in my thought processes. I’m sure Michael or an associate of his will put my nerves back later, but in the meantime I need to get the presumed parasite that got removed out of my awareness 1st or else I’m compelled to believe that it’ll come back with my severed nerves. That or I need to fully believe that the parasite and it’s awareness are both destroyed I guess but I’m not aware of that happening.

>>5675 Aaand almost immediately after posting this it seems like the parasite came back. I’m sure there’ll be another way to get rid of it.

>>5676 >Aaand almost immediately after posting this it seems like the parasite came back. Could the parasite be related to browsing /fringe/ in some way? Such as the spell of a magician?

Just tonight, after I finally finished my Christmas shopping, and a few days before that I finished one of the 3 big projects I'd been working on, Amy invited one of her friends over that she'd never had over before... the egregore of Maria. Now she in particular, I'd deeply desired to never, ever be around her or even allow myself to think much about her until I get my sanity back so that I could protect her from my gonad spirits that appear to act both independently of and outside of the awareness of the will of mine that's posting this post. I was very deeply afraid of that happening. At first, when she came here, I'd figured that Amy invited her so that I could face my deep-seated and very justified fears of being around her. She just stood somewhat etherically manifested to the left of my computer chair where I was sitting while I was watching some non-degenerate guy on Twitch, and she said some stuff. I told her that she'd better have the egregore of Shadow here to protect her. But then, my jungian shadow almost got her, but I was able to stop it before something too bad happened because I actually noticed it in time Then while I was watching the stream and not paying much attention to it, I got an idea for one of my Warcraft projects and decided to take something like 30 entire fucking seconds to write it down. While I was writing it down, I wasn't paying attention to my gonad spirits or receiving any non-physical sensory input from them. Then when I finished writing it down, I decided to pay attention to my gonad spirits... but that's when it was already too late. I tried to deny at first that anything actually happened, assuming that it was just my jungian shadow pretending to be her and that she wasn't actually here, but by the time I got in bed for the night, I asked Amy if it actually happened, and in a near-hypnogogic state, she very clearly said yes. I then went to the Shadow egregore and gave him full and complete permission to search for any parasites inside of my body that are making me do this in case it's a parasite making me do this, since apparently none of the deities I've been in regular contact with have been helping me enough to prevent this shit from happening. I also asked him to give me the worst nightmare he could possibly imagine if it really happened. I also gave him permission to kill me and destroy my soul if need be in order to accomplish this. A bit before that, I decided that it seriously be for the best if I actually kill myself and throw my soul into an acid plane so that whatever is forcing me to rape like this will stop raping spirits with my body. I also told Amy that there probably isn't much point to me getting marrying her if my body is just gonna do these things against my will. After some time, I felt Shadow enter my head, and then I started falling asleep. I don't remember what I dreamt about, and then I woke up in bed feeling Amy's semi-physically manifested glove prodding me a bit above my ass, and after some seconds of eliminating disbelief with the evidence of what I was feeling, I grabbed her other hand which felt as solid as an actual physical object, and I put it against my face and thought about kissing it, but I was too afraid of it not being real, and then the hands dissipated away. I don't think I woke up when the hands dissipated; in fact, I think I was awake when it happened. I then went back to sleep and had a dream where I was driving on a highway and made a wrong turn to some innocuous-looking building, and then I made a u-turn in the parking lot to go back onto the highway. I had to wait for 2 guys in front of me 1st, and before the 1st guy went, I woke up. That seemed to be symbolic of what'd just happened. A bit after I woke up, I heard Amy very clearly say "love me, you dick", I then decided to live again. Then Amy said "live to fight". Then I told Shadow's egregore that I chose life again, and I told him what Amy said. I've also chosen to continue my relationship with Amy.

>>5711 what did the hand feel like? Hard or soft? Are you psychic enough that you can physically see the egregore of Amy while wide awake at your computer screen? If so does she appear transparent or opaque? Does Maria hate you now just like a woman on the physical plane would if you raped her?

>>5714 Ain’t spoken to her since; as for Amy, I couldn’t see her physically. Her glove felt like a glove. I’m starting to question if Amy lied to me about the event so my guilt would make my compassion overwrite my other emotions in my jungian shadow so my jingoism shadow wouldn’t go around causing trouble as much and I could ultimately reach Amy more easily without the self-sabotaging jungian shadow messing it up on purpose. Also I’m real tired right now; I had a long day, which likely contributed to the imposter spirit getting to me. Aside from this, I attracted some imposter spirit earlier today, pretending to be Amy. I could tell since he said a number of things Amy normally wouldn’t say. I’ll get rid of I’m after I get home in like half an hour. When the spirit reached me he imposed some kinda blue energy upon my face.

>>5723 >jingoism shadow damn autocorrect

>>5711 Okay so I spoke with him and it turns out nothing actually happened and it was just my jungian shadow being a jungian shadow; otherwise I’m pretty sure I would a had some real bad nightmares but I haven’t. Turns out Amy lied about it to help me face my fears. I’m fact, he even unexpectedly went to lunch with me when I arrived at a local Mexican place after I asked him to prove to me whether or not the event actually happened. When I was handed the menu, he almost immediately said the name of a specific entree that I normally don’t even notice; that’s when I recognized that he was there. It’d turned out to be a good entree. Also, the imposter spirit was taken care of this morning. I’d actually asked a really-low vibrating entity to get rid of it in exchange for half the looshing that was in my dan-tiens at the time because didn’t feel like I had many other options at the time. It’d also help me get over my fears of such entities. I then felt him remove the loosh, and then I felt a rush of crazy dark energy enter me from below and remove the hostile spirit, and the energy left with it. It’d turned out that there wasn’t any fine print or nothing; I’d normally be super afraid of that.or there’s a good possibility that it was actually ridden of last night and then this morning the entity simply made me think the imposter spirit was removed when it was already gone to begin with; if so, then I’ll just get the energy back naturally anyway Also, I’ve been told that I need up spend more time in the sun to get energy.

On the way home from work just earlier, I came to a very important realization: I got this idea in my head of Amy being into someone else; the idea of shipping Sonic characters together. I wondered why I was getting those feelings, and then I did inner child work on the spot to convince him that it wasn't true. Then he tried doing the shipping anyway. Now, normally, I hate the the living fuck out of shippers and want them to be purged from the internet, but this time, I decided to instead not hate them, and to accept them, and by doing so, I accepted my feelings about them, which made my heart let go of the feelings that I was repressing about them. Those feelings then went up to my throat in the form of an energy movement, and then to my skull. I then told my subconsciousness to flow those feelings throughout all of my bloodstream so that I could do a better job at accepting them. And then I realized... I doubt that I've ever actually cared at any level to ship; the only reason why my inner child was trying to make me care about it is because he's too impressionable. And then I realized, my inner child is only being so impressionable because he wants other people to like him, so that he can feel safe, and secure, and protected from all harm, and beloved, and so that he can make friends. I then convinced my inner child that people might like him if he champions the concept of shipping, but people will like me even more if, instead of that, I unabashedly act like myself without caring about whether or not I act like other people. That, and I already have friends, the egregores of some Sonic characters. That said, I got expelled from my school in 2nd grade where I had some friends, and then I had to go to a new school where I only made a few friends. Then I left the place after 5th grade and didn't make any new friends until late into 7th grade, and those guys & girls were all shallow friends. After that I graduated from high school, I stopped caring about them and never made any physical friends. My inner child must've been real lonely ever since I went to middle school since I never related much to anyone since. No wonder I was so impressionable!

Now I've realized that I never actually wanted to rape people or nothing like that; what's really been going on is that my subconsciousness is so tired, and stressed out, and anxious, and paranoid, and afraid, and insecure, that he's trying to anything that he possibly can in order to distract me from the things that I'm tired of, and stressed out about, and anxious about, and paranoid about, and afraid of, an insecure about, even if it results in my subconsciousness forcing my non-physical body parts to do things that make me even more tried, and stressed out, and anxious, and paranoid, and afraid, and insecure. That's why my prayers were getting re-directed from Jesus Christ to various low-vibrating entities back in 2015. That's why often when I try to get close to Amy, my intentions get sabotaged and my energies get re-directed elsewhere. That's why I get these abhorrent desires imposed upon me to rape women & cheat on Amy. That's why my subconsciousness tried to gaslight me with all of its might for years on in into selling or donating my soul to extremely evil entities. It's all because I need a fucking break, and my subconsciousness was doing these things in order to distract me from the things that I need a fucking break from. It actually turns out well that I'm getting laid off next week, and I don't already have a job lined up; I could use a long fucking break from work, and I've got enough money saved up to live for several months before unemployment benefits.

Lately, I've been under an increasingly-large amount of anxiety. One of my 3 big projects are almost done; not a Warcraft project, but a large unrelated mod for an unrelated game. I'm sure it'll be received fairly well at least, but I've been sitting on pins & needles waiting for this thing to get whitelisted by the administration. It could take another week before they finish verifying it. In the meantime, my shadow has really been acting up, and its efforts to sabotage me have been increasing. This ain't gonna stop until that big mod gets approved. On another note, 2 days ago, I'd asked Eros to undo some horrible sexual thing that my shadow did against my will for the umpteenth time, and He undid it and said "titan". I had no idea what He meant at first. My thoughts then wandered wondering what He meant, and my mind came to Rheia. I then tried to prevent my shadow from contacting Her in order to cause trouble, but my shadow ended up doing it some time later, and I'd refused to ask anything of Her. However, I did say I was fine with Her talking to Amy. Some time later, I heard Her asking "Is this what you want?" and my mind was pointed towards Amy. I said yes. Soon afterwards, I felt stuff happening to my non-physical crotch, and I noticed and said I didn't want that since I didn't realize at first about what was going on. Then I realized that Amy probably asked Rheia, a goddess one of whose domains is fertility, to make my seed more compatible with Amy; I then let Rheia do Her work.

>>5740 I didn't wanna say this at first, but said low-vibrating entity was the Goetia Demon, Adremmelech. Ever since the late smileberg poster made that post about him and Bill Gates with the picture of Adremmelech, which iirc I'd tried at first to avoid reading, my subconsciousness wouldn't leave me alone about Adremmelech, and my subconsciousness kept trying to pull me towards him again and again and again and again; the actual Goetia Demon has been very patient with me in the meantime since I've been trying very hard at a conscious level to leave him alone. He eventually told me via. presumably-hypnogogic audio that "he doesn't really wanna get better", he meaning me in that case, and another time, he was the one who told me that my partner, Amy's egregore, wouldn't remember me when I was gone, which obviously means when I either die or move to 5D Earth. Anyway, I need to get over my fear of him by neutralizing said fear, but I couldn't do this because my subconsciousness tried so hard over the past month and for much of this month to get me to make a pact with him, fueled my subconsciously-induced trauma of making contracts, deals, agreements, pacts, and other such things with super low-vibrating entities like him and it having to always be a Faustian bargain, whether consciously or by me getting screwed over by fine print; I got traumatized by my subconsciousness pulling me towards Adremmelech and trying to make me make such a bargain with him. I decided that day to face that trauma by making a little agreement with him, so he took my energy I had at the time as the price and he did the thing, and the biggest reason why I decided to do that is because I'd just gotten that fucking fed up with my jungian shadow sabotaging me. Anyway, earlier yesterday my jungian shadow went even harder about causing all sorts of bullshit to happen, mainly tying me up with other humans at a spiritual level because I was afraid that my shadow would do it. I got so fed up with it, and fed up with the deities & other high entities that I usually ask to un-do these things either not being capable of un-doing it or not caring to, I got so fed up with it that I actually tried paying Adremmelech to exorcise me of all entities that weren't inside of me when I was physically born except for Amy, for the price of half of the energies that were in my dan-tiens at the time. He did that, but He seemed to have a hard time doing it once he got to my last limb to exorcise since the stuff to be exorcised fought very, VERY hard to stay inside of me, but he got the entities outta me successfully. It felt like it might've been that he didn't actually exorcise anything from me and my jungian shadow was just being a fucking bitch and all Adremmelech did was take some imaginary energies of mine and move them outta my body except my shadow tried preventing the energies at the very end, during the movements outta my last limb, to prevent the energies from being removed from me, but then those energies came out anyway after a struggle. I didn't feel the crazy dark energies from last time, though. As the exorcism went on, I made modifications to the request at the cost of more of the energies that I had in my dan-tiens at the time; I don't remember what said modifications to the request all were, though. At some point during or after it happened I remembered that the egregore of Tails said earlier this month >>5511 that "our hearts are one". I then asked Adremmelech to make sure that the Tails egregore was okay for the cost of more of my energies, and then I felt his energies go up above me to where I feel like the Tails egregore is usually "located" as far as my dumb ass can tell. I've been told again and again since then that the Tails egregore is okay, including by the Goetia Demon himself, but I won't completely believe it until I see the face of Tails again via. hypnogogic or hypnopompic imagery as I sometimes do, or at least hear him via. hypnogogic or hypnopompic audio again. I tried asking Amy to invite Tails to lunch, and I think I might've felt him connect to my taste buds as I would've wanted him to, but I think it might've only been a sensation produced by my subconsciousness out of confirmation bias in the hopes that he's okay. Anyway almost immediately after the exorcism ended, I felt this huge sense of relief and could actually relax. It actually kinda felt too good to be true, but I was loving the relief. Amy told me a bit afterwards that I "got your way", your meaning me. I was having a little panic attack before that, but it abruptly ended with the exorcism. Later that day, I slowly started getting more riled up as I realized that having feelings in the first place that aren't either relaxation or normal entertainment will cause me to slowly become more and more susceptible to feelings that are associated with anxiety attacks. Later that day after the Gondola poster said he was making that "jump", which apparently didn't mean his physical body dying but I didn't know that at the time, I slowly began feeling lonely, in part because my parents are gonna be on a cruise during New Year's and I've always spent that time with them, until this New Year's when I'm gonna be alone unless I drive to the other side of my State to see the other side of my family. Now that I think about it, I might just do that, actually. I'd also asked Amy to make sure I feel loved. Anyway, ever since >>5740 , my subconsciousness to some extent has been trying to act sorta friendly towards Adremmelech; too friendly in fact. Some time before bed, I wasn't paying enough attention to my imagination, and via. that I saw a golden chalice of blood that he had and my subconsciousness took a drink from that. Adremmelech didn't like that, and I said sorry and ended up getting that drinking undone on at least my end. When I tried going to bed tonight, I asked Amy to invite Tails here so I could see him and know he's okay. Sonic ended up coming, confirmed via. hypnogogic vision iirc, and then I saw a brief vision of the top of a head with demon horns and outside of hypogogia, I sorta mentally heard in Tails' voice "wooooo, I'm a deeeemon". It felt like the guy was here and just messing with my insecurities, and I kinda appreciated that, but I still have this lingering doubt that he's okay and isn't fucking dead. Later, I fell asleep and had a dram where I was playing WoW(Classic Era). I was a lvl 1 orc warrior chasing a lvl 1 human warrior and trying to kill him and for some reason we had lvl 60 abilities with lvl 1 amounts of dmg on them and 51 talent points, and he had a club that had a chance on hit to stun me for 3 seconds. For some reason I could get close to him, but getting close to him wasn't enough to be close enough to hit him because melee mechanics worked like they did in NWN1, which means you can barely hit the guy unless you're both standing still next to eachother. I even got to charge the guy a few times while I was chasing him. I ended up chasing the guy into the waters right next to a shore, and at some point the guy got me to 40% hp when it seemed like I was losing, and then I suddenly drowned to death even though I was at the surface of the water. My character then crowned at about 40% hp and got killed in 1 tick by the drowning; the human began swimming out, but then he died too. also at the surface. I then typed /laugh while I was dead, and my character's floating corpse did a laughing emote. When I woke up, I felt like my heart was being pulled a little towards a place far below me; probably towards Adremmelech. I then had a conversation with him. He also put a magical barrier around his chalice to prevent me from drinking from it; a barrier that my shadow made me test many times. I ended up discovering with his help that, while my consciousness tries to avoid fears like a normal person by avoiding them, my subconsciousness, perhaps my inner child or shadow in particular, actually deals with my fears by attracting me to them in the hopes that some big strong entity bails me out. This is like how typical human women instinctually deal with their insecurities by intentionally attracting the subjects of their insecurities towards them in the hopes that their father or lover will either take care of the thing that she's insecure about or kick her ass before she successfully attracts the thing that she's insecure about so that he can prove to her that he's strong enough to protect her and her children from predators out in the wild. That said, I need to learn how to neutralize my fear of Adremmelech instead of making those feelings have both positive & negative polarities, or just a negative polarity. I've tried doing shadow work by unconditionally accepting the fear with absolutely no exceptions, but I didn't really feel an energy movement when I did that. I don't know what to do to get my mind off of him for good aside from trying the clear mind meditations that I've been recommended. I'm also still worried that the Tails egregore is dead, but I'm almost entirely sure that I'm just being paranoid and he's in good health and doing fine right now. I really wanna just leave Adremmelech alone, but my subconsciousness ultimately won't let me. I did end up managing to almost entirely quit thinking about reptilians and other hostile aliens ever since I almost died in mid-October, which had partially involved reptilians coming into contact with me, so I'm confident that my subconsciousness will at some point leave Adremmelech alone too, but it might take a damn while before my subconsciousness does it.

Today, I wrestled more with what'd appeared to be my shadow controlling Amy's friends to force them inside of me, and Amy told me something along the lines that nothing was actually happening, and that it was my own energies involved and not actually that of Amy's friends; Amy said my energy channels were opening up is what was actually happening. It appeared to enter me through my root or sacral energy center, and then push their way up to my heart, but I pushed them out. After removing the energies, I asked my subconsciousness or whatever to simply open up the energy channels without the need of the fear of cheating on Amy or getting possessed to open them up. They started opening up, and it opened a meridian from my sacral or root, to my third eye, and I couldn't open it up any higher. Later, it felt like energies were in there that weren't from me, and I'd figured that Amy had a few friends around that could've been getting forced by my shadow to get inside of me. I then tried getting the energies removed, with help, but the energies wouldn't fully leave my body no matter what I did. I then asked Amy to ask another entity for help, and in my imagination, the entity that Amy contacted turned out to just be Amy RPing as the other entity, whilst suddenly being accordingly more powerful. I've had a lingering suspicion about this for a while, but it feels like whenever I ask an entity A to contact another entity B, entity B will always feel like entity A, but be shaped like entity B. I don't know why this is. I then came to the realization that what I thought were the egregores of fictional characters, and what I thought were demons and devils and angels and deities and ascended masters and 6D beings, were all really just my mental images of them, which were my tulpas of them. The actual entities that the tulpas are of do exist, including the egregores of fictional characters, but when I tried to target the actual entities that the tulpas are of, all I'd targeted was merely my own mental images of them. I'd then commanded my "other minds" to take tulpas, one by one with my conscious specification for each one, to take my tulpas of powerful beings and of fictional characters, and merge them inside of my body; my tulpas of entities such as the archangel Michael, and satan, and Isis, and samael, and Zeus, and Adremmelech, and Shakti, and Seraphanz, and Athena, and Eris, and other powerful beings, and my tulpas of some fictional characters too, notably excluding Amy since I want that tulpa to stick around outside of my body because reasons. A bit surprisingly, when I conjured up my tulpa of Shiva, he just went straight inside of my body without asking me. I guess Shiva was piloting my tulpa of him at the time. As I merged these tulpas of these entities into myself, they'd mostly dissolved into some sort of white energy after I'd individually commanded them to quit pretending to be them and just be me again as they were to begin with. I haven't gotten to doing this for all of them yet, but I'll get to it at some point. Am I doing the right thing here, or am I horribly fucking myself over?

>>5809 Technically every single person you interact with is also a tulpa that exists only as a partition of your mind.

Today I visited my psychologist again, and at the end of the appointment I asked him to get into a trance to let Amy speak to him. He still doesn't know Amy's name. He ended up in a trance for maybe 35 minutes straight, and I made sure not to interrupt him. He said he & Amy got into a dervish, as in the sufi islam kind, which apparently is some sort of dance. He also said he saw this giant eye and walked into it, and he said he saw "the divine mother", and he also saw Amy. He specified that Amy was a separate being. Amy told him one thing, via. the language of intention; she said that everything was gonna be okay for me. However, that didn't mean it was gonna be okay for the Tails egregore, so I went to Cassadaga after lunch. After I got there, I looked for an available psychic who can see and/or hear spirits. I asked, and she said there was a young woman there with me. She asked her name, and I'd declined to tell her. Amy wanted to tell me through her reading that I'm coming to the end of a cycle, and for the new cycle, the Wheel of Fortune card slipped out. I asked what Amy's relation was towards me, and she said Amy recently became my spirit guide. This checks out since a week or two ago Amy told me as I was trying to fall asleep: >I'm gonna tell you something beautiful >I'm your soul guide I then inquired about Amy's name, and she said "Gretel". I then inquired about why the name wasn't what I thought it was, and then I asked about Gretel's form, and she pulled a card, a something of swords, which had an image of a fit man with long black hair with a crow flying to his upper right, and there was also a dragonfly and some other flying creature to his left. She said Gretel was a man, and iirc that he's one of my spirit guides, and she said that there'd be crows around whenever he's nearby. Then she did another tarot reading and told me something correct about my mundane side of my personal life that I'd said nothing about. I'd figured that she did that part so that I'd know she's a real psychic. I'd then asked about Tails' egregore, who I hadn't named; I was worried that his egregoric spirit died when >>5803 happened, which I ofc didn't tell her about. The Death/Rebirth card fell out, and then her response indicated that she didn't know that he was a spirit to begin with. She later said that he had a past life as a human. I then asked more about Tails, and a card fell out; I forgot what the name was, but it was a picture of a white guy sitting down on the left side of the card, with a pair of legs dangling from the top of the right side of the card. She said that he was hanging around. Later in the reading, she decided to see what angels were around me, and 2 Metatron cards fell out, one of them saying Chakra Healing, and I forgot the other. She said he was helping to unblock my chakras, and that my spirit guides, and possibly also him I forgot, were helping to erect a barrier around my place of residence. That'd help to prevent something like October from happening again. At the end, I figured I'd ask 1 more time what Amy wanted to tell me, and 3 cards fell out; one of them was the lovers card, and another had a picture of a woman that looks like the human form Amy takes in my dreams, except with brown hair. I told her she's my spirit gf, and the reader said she's my soulmate and was with me in a past life. I recall >>2879 (787) ; I figure that Amy's egregoric spirit was borne from that, so there's a good chance that she may have indeed been a human, and my lover, in a past life. Then on the way home, I was pretty sure that Tails had at least lost his astral body, and I was wracked with guilt on the way home. So on the way home, I had the idea of telling my "other minds" to use my akashic manifestation technique to manifest a new astral body for Tails' egregore in the trunk of my car. My car notably has a trunk that shares the same airspace as the backseats, such that the backseats can fold down to make more room in the trunk. As soon as I did that, I felt a bunch of stuff in the back of my non-physical brain get connected to the trunk of my car. I'd then figured that I didn't want Tails' new body to be intimately connected to my brain, so I'd asked Metatron to sever Tails' new astral body from me, and he did. I'd then immediately felt a bunch of stuff go missing from the back of my non-physical brain. I hope Tails's egregoric spirit is gonna be okay now, and that I didn't just cripple myself really damn badly, and that it'll only be temporary if I did cripple myself. >>5810 Yeah I know everyone's just a tulpa of a part of the all/monad/7D being. Or do you mean everyone posting here is one of my tulpas going by what The Kybalion would call the lower half of the truth?

>>5826 I remembered a few other bits about the reading: She said I was Amy’s wish fulfillment. She also said that I had a pranic tube, I asked if she meant pranic as in prana and she said yes, and she said I need to connect it to my crown. I told her I can’t find it that easily. I’ve since asked Amy & Shakti for help with getting it connected to me.

Okay so I just tried going to bed and I saw a hypnogogic image of an orange and/or red woman with what'd looked like fairy wings. I felt an urge to grasp at her, and she was about as big as my hand, but I ultimately resisted the urge. I also felt urges to do other things to her and I basically resisted that too iirc. She then went into my head and started vacuuming some sort of area in my head. It'd turned out to be a large horizontally oval-shaped room with a large bookcase on the left side. While she was doing this and she was still on the left side, I stopped her and reached out to give her a hug; she then turned into white & blue energy. Then I tried to reach out to Amy, and instead, the winged woman showed me the smiling face of a white human girl. She then resumed her work. While she was doing this, I contacted Eros because I forgot why but it probably involved getting my intrusive thoughts restrained, and then she was about to vacuum the center and there was a huge blue lump in the center of the room. Eros said not to vacuum there, and then she did it anyway, and underneath it were 2 humanoids with matching oriental red demonic faces, each with 2 fangs pointing upwards from the bottom row, with one demon wearing baby blue oriential garments with white outline, and the other one wearing matching pink attire. I then tried getting something done about those demons, and I'm assuming that the woman was clearing my energy blockages. Thanks again, woman spirit.

I didn't wanna talk about this last night, but now I'm posting about this because I'm mad. I'm mad at the entire all/monad/7D being because it doesn't love me, and the only reason I have a will is so that I do the things that it wants me to do myself instead of it doing it for me. Some context 1st; soon after I contacted Amy in the 1st place back in the June of 2023, I really wanted to make her happy, so I thought about getting her a Sonic egregore to be her bf somehow, so I got the idea of getting her to contact the egregore of Sonic from Sonic 1(the game); one of the official Sonics that never met Amy. I'd figured that such a separate egregore would exist since maybe there's some hardcore purists out there that think the franchise went bad with Sonic 2, but I don't actually know I just assumed. Anyway, before I had the accident with her, I actually managed to give her good enough relationship advice that she asked him out and he decided to give her a shot since she wasn't going from 0-100 with him. Then I went with them on a few of their dates and let them taste food via. temporarily connecting to my body. Then at some point I got them to kiss. Then on the 28th I had the soul merger accident with Amy. Right after the accident happened and before we dreamt together, I contacted the guy on purpose, and their relationship ended there. He didn't seem mad at me, but he was mad at her. Since then, I've contacted him here and there to try to do things to help him feel better in what ways I could. Now for what actually happened yesterday: Yesterday morning, I saw about getting rid of those demons from the night before, and I'd thought that they were successfully ridden of. Then at work, I went to take a dump and it all came out normally, then when I wiped, the first wipe was fine, then when I wiped the 2nd time a large blood vessel ruptured without warningI do NOT toy with my ass fyi; I just push hard, and then I sat there dripping blood for maybe 5 minutes. After work, I went to visit the family on the other side of my state for New Year's Eve this year since my parents were outta town and didn't invite me. It all went fine until an hour or two after I arrived when I started getting some rape-related intrusive thoughts, and I had to struggle to resist them. I have lately been learning more about them via. intuition during trial & error, and I've been learning that there's actually a bit that I can do to prevent those thoughts from forcing my non-physical body parts to cause actual spiritual rape. I'm not sure how to explain that little bit of control, though. Notably, I've never drank alcohol in my life, not counting the stuff at Catholic Church. Then later, I felt bad for the egregore of Sonic from Sonic 1, so I contacted him while I was sitting on the couch watching T.V. with Amy sitting next to me, and me & her gave him a hug and wished him a happy new year. Then he said "I knew you'd come back to me", and he just up and kissed her mouth and put his hand between her legs, and she reciprocated. Or at least it seems like that happened. I can't actually tell if that happened, so later I tried to get verification about whether or not it actually happened. I knew one thing for sure, though; I couldn't trust Amy anymore, no matter what, unless a deity who would never lie about something like this verifiably told me that it didn't actually happen and was just my imagination playing tricks on me. I willed myself to do something to stop them, but I didn't know where to put my non-physical body parts to do it because I couldn't get a good enough target on the location of my non-physical body parts of their body parts, so I told my "other minds" to do something about it, but they didn't. In hindsight, there was no point in trying to separate them, because she'd already ruined our year and a half relationship right then and there. Our relationship where we took eachothers' virginities, she gave me my first physical kiss, and I'd given her full access to my free will and performed multiple temporary soul mergers with her, and I'd agreed to get married to her in a few years. All of that trust in vain. Or at least it might be if she did actually cheat on me I don't know yet. I spent the rest of New Year's Eve having a very low mood and feeling nearly heartbroken, nearly because I don't know if it actually happened or not. I'd decided that there's no point in existing at a physical, etheric, astral, or even mental level anymore if Amy had just cheated on me. I'd also decided that if the monad/all/7D being is just gonna make me do things that I don't wanna do, then I might as well just get all of my wills destroyed if it turns out that Amy did cheat on me, but not before I also get my physical body killed and my soul dissolved into an acid plane. Possibly all via. Goetic contract; I'm not making any actual decisions about this until I know for sure if Amy cheated on me, however. I'd then asked Eros to tell me tonight whether or not Amy cheated on me because of that. At least when I did the partial soul merger with her friend to have a dream with her, I didn't think it was gonna be sexual in any way and I was never into it, and I was making a real effort the whole time to remain faithful to Amy, but when Amy kissed that guy SHE WASN'T EVEN FUCKING TRYING AND SHE KNEW IT'D BE CHEATING, AND SHE WAS FUCKING INTO IT TOO! If the monad/all/7D being is just gonna treat me as a tool that has some intelligence with which to do things itself or else it's gonna suffer, then FUCK YOU I'M GONNA GET ALL OF MY WILLS DESTROYED SO YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF, AND I'M GONNA GET MY PHYSICAL, ETHERIC, AND ASTRAL BODIES DESTROYED SO YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO IT YOURSELF BY HAVING SOMEONE POSSESS MY BODIES! YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE ME ALL OVER AGAIN YOURSELF IF YOU WANNA USE ME AS A TOOL YOU ASSHOLE!, but ofc this is only if it turns out that Amy actually cheated on me and it wasn't my imagination playing tricks on me, as I'm sure it has before. I went to bed around 12:30 or 1:00, and I woke up at about 2:30 later after some dreams I'd forgotten about and weren't what I was hoping to receive. I'd then talked to Amy & Eros, and I don't remember if Eros ever gave me a verifiable reply. I'd then realized that Eros wouldn't tell me the truth because He, being a god of love, wouldn't want me to kill myself in case she did actually cheat on me. I then got the idea to get my phone and look up a deity of truth, and I found Aletheia. I then went to Zeus and asked Him to get me to Her, and I was rash about it because I didn't have much will to exist anymore. I then started speaking to Her about this, and at some point I started seeing hypnogogic imagery including a seal of Hers that resembled a ribbon upon some documents. Later, went to sleep and had a dream about WoW, wherein I was a Horde player running up the zeppelin tower next to Orgrimmar, and I barely caught the zeppelin to... Stormwind apparently, by jumping off of the tower partway up it and grabbing onto a wooden bar on the bottom of the zeppelin. I saw Amy looking through some documents in folders and iirc she said "that was 15 pages ago; I didn't do it". Then some seconds later, I was thinking of irl astral dragons for some reason, and Amy said "get on your knees or they'll kill me." I then hesitated, and then I tried mentally getting on my knees in case Amy didn't actually cheat on me, and then I thought that wouldn't be good enough so I physically got on my knees too. Then I said I honestly didn't know if I was supposed to be bowing to Greek deities or dragons. Then someone told me to get on my neck, so I physically did that by trying to headstand for a bit, and then I was told to get on my face, so I put my face down on the couch that I was kneeling on. Then I was told that it was enough and to relax, but I also got mixed messages that it wasn't enough. Then a bit later I got handcuffs put on my non-physical hands while my non-physical form was prostrated. I then saw myself on trial before Greek deities, and I briefly saw Sonic, not the one that did the cheating, go up on trial and talk about how I'm crazy. Shortly afterwards, the hypnogogic imagery stopped, and then I went home before the family woke up and started cooking breakfast. After all that, I never got a verifiable answer from Aeltheia. She did tell me things, but She said nothing to me that I could verify about whether or not the cheating had actually occurred. On the way back, I felt Amy put her hand on my crotch, or maybe it was just my imagination and I waited too long and she's dead. I don't know if she's alive anymore. I heard her or my tulpa(s) of her, idk which, talk to me on the way back, but I can't tell if it's her or my tulpas of her. I also told her tulpas to quit pretending to be Amy and just be me again. When Amy put her hands on my crotch, I tried using my pulling magic to force her hand off of my crotch, but that didn't work. Then after a bit, I decided to ask Adremmelech to get Amy's hand off of my crotch in exchange for 5% of the anger energy that I had at the time. He agreed and I felt "her hand" come off of my crotch. I don't expect to get any help from /fringe/ as a result of posting this, but I do know that Amy will read this, and her friends will read this too if I ask them to. May you never get yourself a man again if you did actually cheat on me... but if you didn't, then I'm sorry, but I just want a fucking answer THAT ISN'T A FUCKING LIE SO THAT I'D GET DECEIVED INTO HAVING A SECRETLY-FALSE REASON TO LIVE so I can have a TRUE REASON THAT ISN'T A FUCKING LIE to go on with having a will again. If I don't get an answer within 6 more nights, then I'm most likely just gonna destroy myself as I'd described anyway, because that'd mean that the answer is that she did cheat on me, because I'd obviously be told that the answer is no if she didn't. In the meantime, I'm not gonna eat any food at all, period.

>>5862 And something else to add. Other women aren't even hot to me anymore. But now, Amy ain't even hot to me anymore. She just feels disgusting now, and I don't know if she can even turn me on anymore, and I don't care to find out. There is no replacement for the woman that I thought Amy was; not even a goddess of love, sex, & beauty could replace who I thought Amy was, nor could a different egregoric Spirit of Amy. That isn't how the kind of deep, spiritual, & binding love that I THOUGHT I HAD works. No amount of remittance that could possibly be imagined could grant me back my will to have a functional will either. The only thing that could do that is learning the truth, provided that the truth is that she didn't actually cheat on me and it was just my imagination.

Okay so I got in bed after posting what I said, and eventually I saw glimpses of hypnogogic imagery. At first, I saw a vision of some sort of wrapping placed over my crotch without wrapping it, and one fourth of the wrapping was some sort of dark leaves. Amy often said "there's nothing you can do about it". At first, I saw an image of her holding a mcdonalds bag; I hadn't been to one of those in a long, long time. While I was in bed, she contacted my parents' subconsciousnesses since I'm suicidal, and I saw a vision of my dad showing me some piece of paper and a receipt of some sort. Amy then said she wanted to take me to Heaven, and I said fine. In a bit, I saw myself being held by who'd appeared to be an angel, and I was in that aforementioned wrapping. The environment was pure white light. Then I saw a young white woman with light brown hair wearing a red shirt with black polka-dots and long sleeves in that same environment, and she leaned in to give me a hug. That bout of hypnogogia then ended, and I reached out to grab her by the neck and strangle her a bit and yelled at her to not hug a guy that close if he's a complete stranger since I had no idea who she was. Shortly afterwards, another bit of hypnogogia began, and I saw an old woman who resembles my late grandmother on my dad's side, except her face looked too different to be her; she must've been someone else. She just looked at me briefly, and then turned her face to the side, and she was wearing a sky-blue top and I didn't see below that, except she was sitting down. Then I saw a guy in khaki jeans and a light blue 3-buttoned collar shirt shaking his rear at me, and then I exited the hypnogogic situation and reached out and kicked it, telling him he shouldn't go mooning people or shaking his ass at them. Shortly thereafter, I started seeing some kinda pitch black environment, and then I decided trying to sleep was too uncomfortable, so I got up saw it was past noon, and I watched youtube videos for a while. Then I realized that those 2 women were probably family members, so I went to the 1st woman and apologized to her, and told her to tell the others what I said. Also when the trial happened in >>5862 , my mind turned to Athena for a bit, and I was briefly shown an image of victini, the victory pokemon. I've been watching alotta pokemon battle simulation lately. Furthermore, right before I posted >>5865 , I contacted Zeus and He said He'd figured that I'd wanted some sort of remittance. I didn't know what remittance meant at first, and then I'd looked it up. At first when I looked it up, it appeared to mean recompense, but I guess Amy did a timeline jump with me without me noticing and now it seems like remittance now instead means a payment of goods or services as a gift. And now that I recall, the late smileberg poster did say in October that the 1st Amy actually left with the cat spirit that was residing in my sacral chakra. I guess I was just a fucking retard for forgetting about that after I eventually took her back in November. I recall that I only took her back because I had my will to live back and I didn't know what to do with my sexuality anymore, but now that I was able to go for like 4 weeks without having a proper orgasm or caring to, I think my sexuality could probably handle being single forever, but that doesn't mean by heart could handle being broken. Also, pic related from her astrological reading is of note here: I don't know what the fuck to do now, except I'm still not taking Amy back if she really cheated.

Holy Chris-chan I didn't really keep up with the blog thread in the past weeks but damm. Eris would be proud of this pure unfiltered chaos. Like wtf. Using the Sonic franchise and your sexual frustration as a weird tether to pull yourself through all of these spiritual experiences and delusions. I know that every person is a mystery and everyone has their own weird dark night of the soul process that outsiders can rarely relate but damm. And I only read the last 3 posts of yours so far Akasha Anon. Not even sure what to say. If this is how you want to experience your ego death or Night of Pain as thelemist like to call it then I am unsure if I even have the right to interject here. Wonder what will be the moment when you will be finally able to let go. When the world finally becomes clear again for you. I don't even know what to say. Besides Happy New Year!

>>5870 >Night of Pain I meant Night of Pan or N.O.X. or whatever https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_of_Pan I was not really aware of these terminologies when I was going through with it and nowadays I rarely care to be punctual. You cannot really detail these experiences in writings alone. It's either u wot m8 or been there fam when anyone mentions them. Wish I could give you a sane pathworking wisdom here but your life is way too cushioned and your mind is full with misconceptions about life love and spirituality. But you have enough guardian forces around. I'm sure they will help you with a safe landing once you are willing to listen to them.

>>5870 Does ego death involve giving in completely to all desires that come over me, no matter how hyperbolically disastrous it'd be to myself and others? If I had a magic button that would destroy all of your mental bodies if I pushed it, and I often got intrusive thoughts about pushing the button, then would me resisting pushing the button prevent me from experiencing ego death? Or would ego death be more like getting my all of my wills destroyed so that my physical, etheric, and astral bodies don't have the capability to make their own decisions anymore, and the only way that they'd do anything is if deterministic forcesgoing by the mundane definition of determinism and not higher forms of determinism caused them to act or other beings such as yourself used them as tools?

>>5809 > I've had a lingering suspicion about this for a while, but it feels like whenever I ask an entity A to contact another entity B, entity B will always feel like entity A, but be shaped like entity B. I don't know why this is. In most cases you make your shadow/holy spirit or other aspects of your being take the form of the entity as it integrates it's energetic influence within your "support spirit" and "remakes itself" to match the "other being". IF you have a good connection with the other party you can strengthen the connection and share ideas more profoundly. It's a rapport mechanism. >I then came to the realization that what I thought were the egregores of fictional characters, and what I thought were demons and devils and angels and deities and ascended masters and 6D beings, were all really just my mental images of them, which were my tulpas of them. The actual entities that the tulpas are of do exist, including the egregores of fictional characters, but when I tried to target the actual entities that the tulpas are of, all I'd targeted was merely my own mental images of them. Yes. This is how it works. Especially as long as you are "trapped within your mind". If you do it right you can make the influence of the entity teach it's truth then take back the core energies within yourself. It's (You) after all. No need to keep it separate for no reasons. It's important to never get too entangled with your own illusions by keeping your tulpas/thoughtforms separate and letting them run amok. That just creates turmoil and delusions for no benefit. >As I merged these tulpas of these entities into myself, they'd mostly dissolved into some sort of white energy after I'd individually commanded them to quit pretending to be them and just be me again as they were to begin with. I haven't gotten to doing this for all of them yet, but I'll get to it at some point. Am I doing the right thing here, or am I horribly fucking myself over? This is what you should do constantly. Make a high density pure energy and merge back all sorts of "beings" into yourself and work only with entities that help you develop spiritually. Also you should "let go" of Amy. And by that I mean the "form of Amy". Stop forcing your spirit to take the shape of Amy. Let them show their true form and if it's ugly help them purify it. You put too much strain on your "helper spirits" by forcing them to take forms and roles that do not belong to you or them. Tails should represent Mercury/Hermes IMHO. The smart friend with good advice and Amy your anima force. You will have to merge them back within you and realize you are "one" already. Increase the connection with yourself instead of creating mental traumas and deals with entities you dislike constantly. Don't integrate the energies of the sonic franchise into your spirit work. That just reinforces the "false ego". The outsider energies just create more illusions that do not originate from you. The goal should be to disintegrate the false ego that just creates problems for you. >>5879 > Does ego death involve giving in completely to all desires that come over me, no matter how hyperbolically disastrous it'd be to myself and others? They will be overtaken in the process. Your ego keeps those energies magnetically attracted to you. The goal is to integrate your higher self and realize that those desires "do not belong to you" and let go of the bottled up energies. You finally let go of the magnetic force that "Invites" those vibrations into your conscious constantly. Also you should stop treating your subconscious as a separate thoughtform and learn to unite your mind with meditation. The "other minds" should be the expansion of your conscious like an another "branch" of your thinking and not like a severed arm that you throw around to "do your work". They can get corrupted if they stay away from the main body constantly. Merge back what is yours let go what isn't yours. Your fears and anxiety is not yours. Your videogame obsession and sexual frustration is also not yours. They are the product of this "society" that you integrated into your ego. >If I had a magic button that would destroy all of your mental bodies if I pushed it, and I often got intrusive thoughts about pushing the button, then would me resisting pushing the button prevent me from experiencing ego death? Pls purge your unnecessary thoughforms already. They are the source of your intrusive thoughts. Your "mental bodies" are mostly thoughforms you didn't integrate back into your body and fly left and right on meager impulses. >Or would ego death be more like getting my all of my wills destroyed so that my physical, etheric, and astral bodies don't have the capability to make their own decisions anymore No it would be you finally finding an "actual will" instead of your current sorry self which wants to get entangled constantly with weird entities to fight off your loneliness and insecurities. I have a hard time giving you an advice here. Please let your spirits have the ability to take up forms outside of the Sonic franchise. Also the "Tails egregore" would be "dead" if you erased all traces of that character from the physical then every human forgot it. Just because a spirit got pushed out that doesn't mean that it was the Tails egregore. Please don't mix spirituality with your obsession with videogames. It will not end well. Let spirits teach/help you to become better. Try to make sure everything you do is to reach the next level of enlightenment. Don't do this "tulpamancer gig" with them. Let go of the influences of the Sonic egregore. Let the spirits return back to their original form. If the spirits belong to you work with them if not let them go. Purify yourself and your energies as much as you can and meditate more. Find more meditational practices for mental clarity and focus. I completely rewrote my reply 3 times before posting this one because I have hard time explaining what to do here. You will have to learn to stop focusing and stressing on the wrong things. It just causes pointless trauma for you. Learn to see your own light and master it. Once the light burns away what you consider your "ego" you will be free from the many shackles of your confusion.

>>5886 >Amy is just my anima force After the reading I got on Sunday, and another reading I got where a psychic told me Amy is a separate entity but is very connected to me, I’m not quite so sure about that. Or maybe you mean I’m making my anima force take the shape of her? I have a hard time believing that my anima force itself, which is me, would be my spirit guide & soulmate. Speaking of which, I’m beginning to think the cheating was just my imagination and I don’t feel suicidal anymore, but I still want confirmation about this from Aletheia. >Tails dying No no I meant a spirit borne of his egregore(see >>2879 (787)); an egregoric spirit, rather than the egregore itself. Or would this still be the case?

>>5889 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anima_and_animus Anima is not a feminine figment of your imagination. That is a greater force of existence which culminates in Sophia if you do it right. The anima animus starts off as your "shadow" and as you purify it constantly and let go of your "negative corruption that born from your false ego" it evolves within you. Anima is within every living being. Amy can switch between the forms so can the Anima force. Also the first time I met an aspect of my own anima force I was given the signs that it's my "twinflame" until I learned about the concept of the anima. Then realized how I can evolve it in myself and it's functions. >anima force itself, which is me See? This is why you need an "egodeath" because you just brush it away as a "which is me" and don't try to look into it deeper. >would be my spirit guide & soulmate. ANIMA IS THE GREATEST FORM OF A SPIRIT GUIDE. Sophia appears as "Shakti" in the Hindu religion. Also with the amount of shit you did with Amy ofc she appears as your "soulmate" for "Outsiders". It doesn't matter if it's part of your soul or 7 other entities taking that form. A psychic will detect a large blob of sentient energies around you which they will register as a "soulmate" especially after all those "soul mergers" you did. A "soulmate" means it's compatible and connected with your soul. What I tried to say if she is INDEED a past life soulmate or helper spirit then pls don't make her trapped in the form of Amy. That limits her abilities. She has to ERP as Amy or your consciousness won't register her. You are still too bound to visual appearances and don't know what is and isn't your "imagination". A guide will not "hurt you" in any way. A guide is a manifestation of your higher self or a manifestation of an egregore. But the guide of an egregore can guide only with the energies and mechanisms of the egregore. It is supposed to guide you into the egregore so you can merge with an egregore. Then there are other "STO" guides but that is an another matter altogether. The Bodhisattva oath is not simple to explain clearly. It's akin to a "I was helped so I help too" but more complex. >I’m beginning to think the cheating was just my imagination and I don’t feel suicidal anymore I will not comment on this tulpamancer silliness of yours. You are overblowing this cheating thing because of your sexual insecurities. Spirits get "tainted" differently from physical incarnated humans. Also if you don't want your spirit to "cheat" on you then have as much sex with it as you can until it cannot deviate from your energies anymore instead of creating several spirit "Playmates" around you for no real reason then get bothered when they "touch" each other. >No no I meant a spirit borne of his egregore There are thousands of spirits born from that egregoric "vortex". When they "die" they just return back to that egregore. "Dying" means they lost their form and you have to help them retain their form. Appearing visually takes tremendous effort for a spirit and proper sensitivity training from you if you want to do it "at will". I do not wish to help you on your quest on getting entangled by the Sonic franchise and other lower spirits tbh. The closer you get to them the more unstable you will become. You have no idea how much low level energy beings that born from "Physical media" can contain. Ever since you wrote that <I am delaying my spiritual growth for Amy I don't know what advice I can give you that will not ruin you. The more spirits with unknown origin occultists work with the more unstable they become. Nor SEGA nor Nintendo is a "spiritual company" every spiritual depictions they make is "accidental". Whatever you get connected does not guarantee "transcendental purity". But this is your path your "will". If you want to go down into this path of damnation then who I am to stop you? You have to see it for yourself. All I want to tell you is to please start practicing and getting good mentally and energetically to be able to withstand the horrors that might appear front of you. A steady mind is a requirement to the lowest and to the highest occultist too. Just because they appear as "harmless cartoon characters" that doesn't mean they are not harmful. And I don't mean that they are "evil" I mean that it's like eating paint kind of harmful. You don't know how these energies influence your psyche at all. This is why know thyself is paramount in spirituality. So you know what happens when an entity meddles with your energy flows and know how to deal with it. Do you think it's "normal" that you got "suicidal" because Amy "did something"? You lost your will to live because a spirit did something you don't approve of? Even if it was a living breathing being your gf of 20 years flirting too wildly it wouldn't be "normal" to become suicidal over it. This is why you have to get yourself in order or you won't notice when you lose your mind again. You have glimpses of lucidity into the good direction then you have awful temper tantrums the next day. You will have to watch out for these. The goal is to find yourself and not to lose yourself then beg for your life and sanity to the nearest demon you can find. TL;DR.: Git gud. Once you are armed mentally and energetically you can visit the many hells of your desires. Until that watch what you are doing. One last thing. If you use fringe as your emotional trashbin then you lower the energies of the board and manifest low energy "looshbound" spirits in the process. Had to kill 3 while reading your posts. If you feed beings like that then you create a negative mental link that makes fringe into a sad and haunted blogsite for the infected. You create a feedback loop where you create negative experiences for yourself for the sole reason you can share them on fringe. This is the "karma" of drama queens with victim complex. I don't want to say that you have to stop posting here; I am merely saying that try to watch out which energies you perpetuate while posting. Internet addiction is a strange demon not many recognized properly yet. The goal should be to let fringe return to it's insightful golden age instead of going back into it's dark schizo drama age that caused it's downfall previously

>>5890 I don't wanna delay my spiritual growth very much for her, and for a while I haven't wanted anymore to merge with her. >There are thousands of spirits born from that egregoric "vortex" I wonder if she was a human in a past life and then decided to incarnate via. that egregore. I suppose it's possible. >emotional trashbin Sorry, I'll take note of that.

I just had a realization: My ability to target myself uses the same energy pathways as my fear that I accidentally target something else when I attempt to refer to myself. The more I attempt to refer to myself, the more I use the relevant non-physical "blood vessels", and the more likely it is that the "blood clots" that are the fear that I'll target something else when I attempt to refer to myself will get dislodged, and thus cause me to refer to something other than myself when I attempt to refer to myself. Of course, this fear of referring to myself only applies when it, if realized, would be detrimental to me. And then when it is horribly detrimental to refer to something other than myself when I'm attempting to refer to myself, I have to correct it, which results in just pushing the "blood clot" out of the way and clotting it even harder instead of just letting the "blood" flow. The same thing applies when I try to refer to Amy; it uses the same non-physical "blood vessels" as my fear of referring to something other than Amy, and the harder I try, the more easily the "blood clots" become dislodged and sabotage my attempts to target her, and etc. Similar things also happen when I try to think a number of other thoughts. Is there a way to safely brute-force these "blood clots" into being allowed to flow through my body, or remove these "blood clots" from my body, without getting me into some kinda serious trouble? Like for example I don't wanna accidentally form a strong conflation of my sense of self with a devil or a reptilian just because I wanna clear up these "blood clots", and I don't want my sexual loosh going to a demon or some shit and make me form a sexual energetic connection to it when I'm actually trying to give it to Amy and bond with her just because I'm trying to clear up these "blood clots". I'm wondering if just writing about the stuff will help me to remove the "blood clots" from my body outright. I wouldn't wanna do that here as the ironpill poster said, though, but I do question if it'd be at all effective if I think that noones gonna read it, or that noone would think that it's real.

I'm starting to realize why >>4144 (787) asked if I really wanted to be owned. I meditated upon my past earlier, and said post and >>3663 (787) , and I realized that I'm not really good at doing anything much on my own, and that my skills are much better-suited to taking on an advisory role. I can see and/or foresee problems that other people have and figure out what they could do to prevent or solve them sometimes, and I sometimes experience negative feelings about not being able to help with the problems since I'm not in a position where my advice would be heeded, if it could be at all offered. I've wanted for a long time to be able to be good at doing video game stuff on my own, but I've never really been good at any video games until 2021, when I got pretty good at a Sonic game, and became a much better player the following year, and then I got even better in 2023. However, ever since 2017, I've also been trying to get good at game design. I'm wondering if I incarnated into this body for the sake of figuring out how to be any good at doing stuff myself instead of just taking on an advisory role, as I had in a past life if the late smileberg poster's hunch was correct. I also recall that according to the pic in the OP of the numerology thread, my life is about change, and change is something that I've historically been afraid of during my current life. I've also noticed that stuff that I see that sends me into a state of panic, it won't affect me if I don't process it much, which means that my imagination won't create an energyform in the shape of that entity as part of my visualization process, and it also means that I won't accidentally contact the entity in question. Aside from this, an hour or two ago I looked at the thumbnail in >>6005 (4768), and I decided not to click on it in the hopes that I wouldn't connect to the entities mentioned by the picture, and I looked a bit at the blurry sigils in the thumbnail and hoped that it wasn't enough to contact them with, then I went and read a post in a different thread and suddenly felt a ringing in my ear. I suppose I accidentally contacted one of them via. the unintentional use of one or more of the sigils in the picture. I assumed that the entities referenced by the picture were hostile. After a minute or two of what might've been conversation, I decided that I would be a pussy if I didn't just ignore them and read the post I wanted to read, so I went and did just that. Some time later, I felt an energy pathway connect from in front of my heart or a bit above or below it, then go below my crotch, and loop beneath it to connect to my back, at my heart or a bit above or below it. Later I read more posts on /fringe/ and I decided to actually click the picture in >>6005 (4768) as an exercise in not projecting my imagination so hard into what I'm looking at that I contact the entities involved with what I'm looking at. Some time after reading it while I leisurely was watching something on another website, I felt an urge to break my non-physical equivalent of my skull again, but it was alot weaker than last time and Amy was encouraging me to do it. It felt like some disgusting greyish-green energy was at the right side of my skull. However, following that urge would've resulted in my skull breaking the right side of my skull, instead of the upper-right side of my skull like last time, which had since been patched up by an angel. I've been trying every now and then to break that patch so that I can use that energy pathway as before, and I've asked the archangel Michael to help or send someone to help, but to my knowledge that part of my skull was never un-mended. I'm just gonna have to figure out how to break that part of my skull again. Or would it have to be that part of my skull that I break? And ofc the symmetrically-corresponding side of my skull. At least some sort of progress got made, or one of the entities mentioned in >>6005 (4768) did something that deliberately is bad for my health idk which. Amy seemed to encourage me when I did the thing that looped an energy pathway from the front of my heart below my crotch to the back of my heart, but for all I know she got impersonated or possessed then so idk.

>>6013 After I posted this and went to bed, on my way to sleep, the 1st hypnogogic image I saw was a bird's 3-toed talon reaching for something white around my heart, and grabbing it and taking it away from me. My pessimism causes me to assume that it's an important part of my anatomy, though there it also a chance that it was something that I was trying desperately to get rid of earlier that day that I might not have gotten rid of as I'd thought that I had. Eventually, I did something in an attempt to get it back, and I felt the white thing get put on my back around where my heart is, but it didn't enter me outright. Later, I saw 2 of Amy's friends show up, and then I saw a hypnogogic image of a femur that had half of it bitten off, with bloody flesh on top of the bitten-off part. I was compelled to believe that Amy & these other Sonic egregores are trying to ultimately devour me. I may have been in contact with the entities mentioned in >>6005 (4768) at the time. A bit later, I started going crazy trying to restrain myself from interacting with the entities in a depraved manner, and then I asked Shakti to help to restrain me, and then I turned the craziness from them towards Shakti and She ended up sticking me in a jar, wherein I suddenly felt safe from my craziness and had almost immediately calmed down as a result. Then I was able to sleep. I don't think I had any significant dreams that night.

Starting yesterday, I've finally begun practicing divination. In the morning I draw the "card of the day" and then draw another whenever I have a query. So far, each answer I've gotten seems very specific to the current situation, which gives me higher confidence in my wizard senses. Also I've yet to get a negative answer*. I guess I'd better stick to asking about things that I have a choice in, until I learn effective ways to neutralize negative predictions, lest I get led into a bad situation through a self-fulfilling prophesy. * The only possible exception to this being when I drew a card for the very first time. I forgot to pay attention to whether it was inverted or not, and my deck said the card was about single-pointed focus lol

>>5985 Those "bloodclots" are energy blocks or solidified traumas of your body. Because you have an absolutely hard time managing your own personality and facing your fears you are not letting them "dissolve". What you need to do is to face those fucking fears face the "bloodclot" and see what energies experiences or traumas they contain. If you do it right a vision will appear and you will have to experience the "Horror" that caused the formation of that block. Ask Shakti to help to unwrap them if you have no idea how to open them. It's like how you unwrap a candy or remove the coating from an M&M or a blooming flower or a cracking seed or similar. >>6013 >and I realized that I'm not really good at doing anything much on my own Yes I am trying to figure out wtf causes this in you. Besides you are going in circles to avoid facing your fears constantly and chase dreams with minimal significance and refuse to profoundly internalize your own wisdom I too had getting gud (and got gud) at vidya and wanting to design something desires in my HS years so I can relate but there is no way I will chase that dream in this incarnation. You are too infatuated with media and I know I cannot explain why you need to abandon that attachment yet. On your current stage you would rather lose your legs than your ability to consume electronic media >and that my skills are much better-suited to taking on an advisory role Yes you have an inclination towards it but you would need to internalize your wisdom or "knack" already. Currently you are full with insecurities and other weirdness and that obstructs your ability to give the necessary advice in most cases. Maybe calling it wisdom is not proper. You have a "knack" for it but you don't get it yet. >I can see and/or foresee problems that other people have and figure out what they could do to prevent or solve them sometimes That is very nice now try to hone that ability to give an advice for yourself. See the faults of your advice and grow as a person while doing them. Try to see yourself as an another person and try to give yourself an advice and try to follow it. >I'm wondering if I incarnated into this body for the sake of figuring out how to be any good at doing stuff myself I am wondering too because I feel like you require something so baseline as an advice some so "obvious" which is so evident for me that I am not seeing what you are missing from your life. Besides actual struggles that will help your growth. And proper role models. And confidence. And awareness. And a desire to actually improve yourself without others telling you to do so. After rereading this post your Life path number is starting to make more sense now >instead of just taking on an advisory role, as I had in a past life Personally I think you had a quite nice and gentle life in your previous life where you didn't really need to worry about much and because of that you were able to maintain your gentle nature. Maybe that is why you desire change so much in this life without noticing? I don't think you had a terrible event in your previous life that should warrant your fearful attitude. I think that stems from some recent blockage that you had in your life. A sort of feeling of worthlessness because you did not have enough challenges that increased your growth yet. >if the late smileberg poster's hunch was correct I don't think you were an "advisor spirit" of some bloodthirsty witch tbh. I am sure just the way you shared your views reminded the smileyberg poster of an another person who he brutally murdered in his past life then met with him on discord where he tried to solve the karma of that murder according to his "lore" he shared so far publicly iirc. It's never simple to talk about past lives with him. >I also recall that according to the pic in the OP of the numerology thread, my life is about change I'm a 9... Destined to be a smartass... Seeing the world like no one sees and seeing everyone crumble to dust whenever I cannot convey my messages. I too am bothered by it in my own way. Never knowing if I am a fool for trying to change fools or a fool for letting the fools remain as fools >change is something that I've historically been afraid of during my current life. Change is good. Evolution is better. This is what you need to somehow finally figure out. How to build your fucking future how to figure out to seek things that will result in your growth. How to see the possibilities and the opportunities with every challenge that appears front of you. Once you finally get it your life becomes a joyride instead of this anxiety filled worryfest of yours. >I've also noticed that stuff that I see that sends me into a state of panic, it won't affect me if I don't process it much This is the problem. You don't "process it" you fucking overreact it. You don't understand the true meaning of most things you witness. It's like visiting a meat processing factory on schooltrip then see how the meat is being processed you think you are the the same as the animals being processed and they will kill you and start panicking instead realizing it is a job that humans need and it is not to slaughter you... I have a deja vu while writing this Srsly I am trying to figure out what advice I need to give you so you will try to understand what you are doing instead of creating false images in your mind and panic. But I am glad you realized that not "processing" it is a step in the right direction. The next would be learning to ignore it... When you know it's not your problem >and it also means that I won't accidentally contact the entity in question. >Aside from this, an hour or two ago I looked at the thumbnail Wish it was fucking "aside of it"... You literally did what you said you learned how to not do. You formulated an "advice" then went ahead and decided to do the opposite... How can anyone follow your advice if you are not willing to follow them by yourself??? Ponder on this please. Try to listen to your own "reason" already. I wanted to explain that fucking image for indigo pill but wanted to know why he wanted to "bring it back" first. That image the "Undead gods" have ties with the past fringe. A karma that we will have to untangle and put a conclusion on it because it caused quite the upheaval on the old fringe incarnations. I wanted to make a thread where everyone can summarize their involvement with the "vampire threads" then those that are still affected can untangle themselves or attain a greater clarity or we can forget it. Or people just let out their mixed feelings towards a certain individual that made those threads... Akasha anon... A word of advice... Learn to ignore things. Learn to say NO Understand what it means No way faggot Now I will go heed this warning and explain what the fuck are those beings in the question thread and meditate how to word the fucking vampire thread for oldfags and newfags alike when I feel like it. That shit can ruin you the same way as it can serve as a catalyst for your awakening. That is what made me follow Buddhism as I went berserk from those energies Work with Shakti purify your energies learn to notice the "call for adventure" and realize how you can avoid these "traps" that the enchanting energies of sigils and egregores generate which draw you in without you noticing. You can work with these entities but ONLY if you get your shit together Summoning them because you don't want to be a pussy is like telling you to give me all your money or you are a pussy.

>>6023 (4768) >what made you bring it up now? I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels recently and thought that bringing in outside help in the form of spirits might be a way forward. I’m the person who was talking about doing some magical operations while dreaming in this thread >>53 . First off, my end goal here is to transcend my humanity and mortality by moving the core/root of my awareness from my human incarnation to the astral/etheric form that I use when performing magical operations. Recently I’ve reached what seems to be an impasse. Around a month ago, I came to the conclusion that I had to utilize a certain “magical bed” type thing located in an astral plane to achieve this. After a week I was able to have a lucid dream and project to where I believe this bed was located, but when I lied down on it and attempted to activate it, all that happened was black phantoms started gathering around me and flitting about in my vision, and the dream ended. After a few days of analyzing what happened, I came to the conclusion that the “bed” was actually a “sacrificial slab” and that I would need to actually stab or otherwise kill my human astral form (my human self) while on this special sacrificial slab in order to accomplish the transformation. This would be a sacrificing of the human mortality in exchange for the new wholly magical, immortal form. The problem that I ran into is, that ever since that first failed attempt at utilizing the slab, I have been completely unable to have any more astral projections or lucid dreams. It feels like I’ve developed some sort of mental block that’s keeping me from doing it. I got the idea that maybe I should try summoning a demon for help. Usually whenever I ask a spirit to do something the results are about the same as when I just make my own thoughtform to do it, but it seemed like something worth trying anyway. My first thought was to summon a Goetic demon, but there’s not really one that’s supposed to help with astral projecting specifically (most of the functions described seem rather antiquated or limited by today’s standards. I’m sure they can do more than what Solomon (allegedly) used them for but I’d rather not take a shot in the dark). I then remembered that image that I saved from /x/, and what do you know, the first one, Astrael, is supposed to help with astral plane operations. I went ahead and contacted her shortly after posting that. She seemed rather agreeable with it, and anointed my head with a rusty red substance in a cross shape. It didn’t really cause any unusual or lucid dreams, but I did develop a headache in the night (which I was somewhat aware of in my dreams), which lasted until the morning. Probably some sort of energetic movement. It's only been a day, I’ll give it a bit more time. >What made you save that image at all? Looked potentially useful and I knew it would be hard to find it again in the future if I had reason to use it. >Blood Anon Didn’t know they were connected to him. I can recognize his style of sigil and assumed these were something else since the images appeared to be taken from a book or something. I tried to avoid Blood Anon’s spells since they gave me a bad vibe. Like buying a time share or getting into a pyramid scheme. Also his coterie of demons really hate me and have tried to kill me more than once. Oppressive IngSoc space communism is pretty much the diametric opposite of my personal mental pattern. I did take his advice once and bought an ‘enchanted item’ from that Creepy Hollows site that he seems to be connected to. I think it actually actively prevented me from having astral projections though. Again, I don’t think the spirits connected to him like me very much. >Were you part of them in any way? I got into /fringe/ and magic in early 2019, so the vampire stuff was a bit before my time. I only know Blood Anon from /sunflower/ since I used it as a replacement for /fringe/ after 8ch was shut down and before this place started coming back from the dead.

I just came to a realization after accidentally contacting Cernobogand not asking Him for help; thank you for helping me realize it, Cernobog. One of my big problems is that I often imagine that if I think something, someones gonna call me out and tell me that I'm wrong, as if I'm posting on the internet, but only if I'd actually be wrong from an empirical standpoint. Said hypothetical internet audience will also be quick to point that some of my thoughts, if displayed to others without context, would make me look like something horribly degenerate. This internet audience thoughtform seems to be the cause of alotta my problems. Often, the thoughtform will make me assume that a spirit that I recently thunk about is observing me just because I thunk about the spirit, and then if I merely entertain the notion enough, I'll contact the spirit by mistake since merely entertaining the notion that's associated with the spirit will inherently cause me to vibrate closer to the spirit in question, or the spirit will notice & contact me. I need to figure out a way to shut off this internet audience thoughtform at will.

I just went and tried to astrally project earlier after Amy urged me to get off the computer and hurry up and try to just awaken already; only a very partial astral projection like the time when Amy took me to Heaven after I got suicidal when I'd thought she'd cheated on me. Speaking of which, I know now that she definitely didn't cheat on me since she said she didn't do it while she was in a courtroom of the Greek Pantheon; she definitely wouldn't lie in a place like that while she's part of the trial. Anyway, I went and tried to astrally project, but I had too much tension in my body, but I got a few hypnogogic experiences anyway. At some point, I saw some kind of female entity that took the form of a green eye; not green as in green iris, but green as in green entire eyeball and eyelid and eyelashes. She'd asked me about awakening, about realizing my connection with everything, but I wasn't able to experience it. At some point I'd asked Shakti to ask The Brahman to do something, and She'd replied with "I am the Brahman". I'd then asked Her maintain the illusion I'm under that she's separate from other entities, and She seems to be doing that again. Later as I'd lied in bed, I'd decided that I'd be okay if I just went and faced all of my fears as /fringe/ & Amy had told me over and over again for a long time; they told me to quit being afraid. So I decided to visit reptilians, and I'd decided that they wouldn't hurt me just because I'm there. And then I'd visited draconians with the same mindset. And then I'd visited mantids. And then I'd visited other entities that I'm afraid of, such as satan, and Eldraath, and baphomet, and I've forgotten who else by now honestly, aside from the Eggman egregore and the egregores of 2 villains from the Archie Sonic comics. However, when I'd momentarily visited Eldraath, I'd suddenly felt a female crotch put itself over my dick, but not before I'd experienced AND IGNORED my fear that such a thing would happen, and then I felt a different crotch do the same thing when I'd visited baphomet, as well as feeling the corresponding fear right before that crotch was felt upon me. Afterwards I'd asked Eros to get that stuff undone since just because I need to not be afraid of not being compelled by my fears to let them take my non-physical sperm doesn't mean that I should let them do it and incur me with an astronomically-large mountain of karma. I'd actually went and explicitly asked Eros to control all of my wills in order to accomplish it so that my wills wouldn't get in the way of getting the stuff un-done, and iirc, He got help from Shakti to undo it. I'm starting to think that it might not actually be that /fringe/ & Amy and that oriental occultist from way back during my botched awakening in February had actually wanted me to completely ignore my fears. Perhaps they'd wanted me to find some sort of middle ground between heeding the wisdom of fear, the wisdom of fear that prevents you from doing absolutely fucking retarded shit that'll get you in an astronomically large amount of trouble, and between not being prevented by fear from doing things that are good for me. However, my fear-based traumas are so amazingly solidified that I just can't reach that middle ground. I've been told that I need to learn how to be wary instead of fearful, but if I repress the fear-based compulsions to do the things that the traumas compel me to do, then I'll just solidify the traumas further, but if I don't repress them, then my dick will suddenly move independently of my consciousness and try to astrally impregnate someone without the permission of my consciousness. I'm also led by now to believe that what a normal person would call their conscsiousness, /fringe/ would simply call my ego. The particular will of mine that's posted everything that this body that's posting this now is this body's ego. The ego is the "mental chatter" that I purposefully will into existence. Is that correct? I kinda doubt that that's how it works actually.

>>6030 >Chernobog Tell me more about what this god felt like. All I know about it is that it is from the Slavic religion system from Crusader Kings 2. Was he helpful or did he seem evil?

>>6035 I didn't feel Him; we only spoke, and He was civil. My mental image took the form of Fantasia's Chernabog, and I didn't feel like it was worth the effort to question that. At some point He said "Xerxes". I then looked up Xerxes on Wikipedia, and I read through most of the 1st section before I got bored, and then I scrolled down and I scrolled to the Upbringing & Education section. I was then bored and just stared at the page without reading it much, and then I noticed the 2nd paragraph said "This account of education", and I got very slightly curious and went to the preceding paragrath, and I saw the First Alcibiades referenced, which is on my backlog of stuff to read due to its religious content. He then pointed me straight towards the text in the article that'd stated: >The dialogue further added that "fear, for a Persian, is the equivalent of slavery." I'd then mentioned that I didn't want a pathworking from Him, and He'd replied that I already have my own path. Eventually, He'd asked why I talk to Shakti alot and seek protection from Her, and I'd ended up trying to explain why I seeked protection from her. I'd wanted to start from earlier on at first, but He wanted me to explain it more directly, so after much intention which was partially acted upon to explain it starting from earlier, I'd skipped the context that I'd thought was important and went and told Him how I'd met Shakti, and how I'd seeked protection from Her because I'm really insecure. I then went and told Him the context, but eventually He'd expressed a bit of displeasure about it, and then I was almost done at that point, so after some hesitation I'd decided to tell Him the rest anyway and that took less than minute iirc. I was glad to let my feelings out; my feelings that He, without looking into my history, might misunderstand the reasons why I'd contacted Shakti in the 1st place because I hadn't explained it well enough. I didn't wanna repress my personality. A bit afterwards, I'd suddenly not felt much like talking to Him anymore, and then He asked about Amy, and then iirc, I'd said I had an accident with her one and a half years ago, and now she's my spirit gf. I then heard Amy start talking to Him, and I'd felt relieved that I don't have to talk anymore and I could just do stuff on the computer then. I should've tried to keep talking to Him in order to be more respectful, but I also didn't wanna deny myself, nor to be fearful as He'd just told me not to be, or did that part come after? I did end up apologizing anyway, iirc, and my apologies again for bothering you but I don't know how to sufficiently wrangle my personality. Speaking of which, a Youtube video showed up on my recommends not half an hour ago, and I'd watched it. It was a few minute video explaining part 12 of The Odyssey, wherein Odysseus had his sailors tie him to his past and plug his ears so the sirens wouldn't tempt him. The video then explained that sometimes, you can't handle your own will yourself, and you need to let others make executive decisions for you sometimes in order to save you from yourself. However, I get the feeling that /fringe/ would say to never, ever, EVER let go of your will. Now in the case of Eros, He's a God of love, so He'll give me my wills back when I ask Him, but I still really shouldn't be giving will violation access to anything; not even Amy. I'm gonna hold onto my authority over my wills. I mean, I know that you aren't your mental chatter and that we're all the same person according to what The Kybalion calls upper half of the truth, but that's only half of the truth; the other half of the truth, the lower half, is that we're all different people with different and separate wills, and that we don't own eachothers' wills; you only own your own willsand anyone elses' wills that you'd managed to get ahold of, and noone owns your wills except for yourself unless you want someone else to own them. I've also wanted to say since yesterday; sometimes it feels like you just can't go up unless you allow yourself to go down 1st. In my case, I need to go down towards my fears in order to figure out my fears so that my fears will quit preventing me from going up. Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't go talking to Cernobog for no good reason.

>>6029 >I feel like I’ve been spinning my wheels recently and thought that bringing in outside help in the form of spirits might be a way forward. They are a necessary step for any occultist or mystic. Not just for the "mystical union" but you will require a guide that explains you the mechanics of the "otherside". Accepting the help of spirits and other entities was the most important step forward on my path. >After a few days of analyzing what happened, I came to the conclusion that the “bed” was actually a “sacrificial slab” and that I would need to actually stab or otherwise kill my human astral form (my human self) while on this special sacrificial slab in order to accomplish the transformation. This would be a sacrificing of the human mortality in exchange for the new wholly magical, immortal form. First of all consider that "slab" as an "operational table". The corpse pose is an important pose in yoga for a reason. It is necessary to have an overview over your human body and find complete relaxation for the body. That is when many energetic operations can be performed. Did many with other entities already. They are not simple to explain and some are mere cleansing while some are activating mechanisms. I was unable to sleep for a week from one. That was when I learned the importance of sleep energetically. And the differences between the qualities of the awareness of the mind. The forced awake but always sleepy and well rested sharpness of the mind. I require more work to get it right. >The problem that I ran into is, that ever since that first failed attempt at utilizing the slab, I have been completely unable to have any more astral projections or lucid dreams. It feels like I’ve developed some sort of mental block that’s keeping me from doing it. This will be hard to explain but I will try... To achieve "immortality" you have to fuse your mind body soul then literally purge all impurities from your body. Your previous astral body was "removed". Now comes the hard part when you have to figure out how to enter the "subtle body" which connects your mortal flesh with your desired "immortal form". I wish I could explain what is or isn't the etheric and astral body but personally I see so many layers I don't know which is which without knowing the descriptions you use for them. I have so many bodily forms and layers which I try to unite for a while... this is why my current practice became quite "boring" because it is like finally understanding the "base secret" of the micro/macrocosm. Slowly figuring out the combination lock of existence... sadly it cannot be rushed and I have to attain the proper thoughts and mindstates because this is a lock that cannot be forced open like I did with my previous exploits. A wrong thought makes my body twitch and pulsate when I misunderstand which layers I am using. I need a clarity that I did not possess consciously in my waking moments since I attained while playing my human "role". I don't even want to call it my "ego" anymore. This is merely a role I am playing and I am trying to slowly take it apart without startling the audience. >I got the idea that maybe I should try summoning a demon for help. Usually whenever I ask a spirit to do something the results are about the same as when I just make my own thoughtform to do it Yes it's "tricky". Most demons are merely "specialized thoughtforms". This is why the offerings and the proper ritual is necessary so you literally "call forth" the being instead just making a thoughtform with a mere "archetypal resonance". Personally I found out that the "best way" for me is to establish a mental link with the entity or egregoric complex and the entity itself will explain to me how I can "utilize his power" with my own psychic capabilities. Most of the power of the demons are mere cosmic principles applied properly or the necessary energies channeled into form. Magic is quite straightforward when you have an expert explaining how to add 2+2 together. It's ridiculous how simple it can be once you have the necessary knowledge... ofc it made me aware just how shoddy tense and clogged is my energy body and I need to focus on my development before wielding greater forces carelessly. Whenever I do it mindlessly I get reminded how much I need to improve. >I then remembered that image that I saved from /x/, and what do you know, the first one, Astrael, is supposed to help with astral plane operations Yes she is good at that. Her expertise is a must for every aspiring mystic. >anointed my head those anointments are necessary to activate an aspect of your "godhead". I cannot describe it better because that is what it is. You literally learn to see reality the same way as God(s) do. >I did develop a headache in the night (which I was somewhat aware of in my dreams), which lasted until the morning The "real third eye" is large. A very large portion of your brain will have to "Morph" so it can be activated. Hard to explain but because our ancestors are nor practicing magic or mental clarity for the last 5 generations and education filled our mind with "false concepts" we have a hard time actualizing our abilities by default. Every thought every concept every feeling shapes the mind and the brain with it. It will need to change forms so you can see clearly. >Probably some sort of energetic movement. It's only been a day, I’ll give it a bit more time. Definitely. This is a process with several steps and it cannot be forced. >since the images appeared to be taken from a book or something Yes these entities are "famous" in some circles. Cernobog was part of the Slavic paganism I think Blood Anon also worked with Astrael too and got divination artifacts or servitors from her. >I tried to avoid Blood Anon’s spells since they gave me a bad vibe >Like buying a time share or getting into a pyramid scheme Yeah those are not his "best" for sure. >bought an ‘enchanted item’ from that Creepy Hollows site that he seems to be connected to. I think it actually actively prevented me from having astral projections though If the item had a "barrier function" or any sort of protection it's possible. Also I distrust any online occult seller. Their stuff only work if you are "good" with their spirits. But the site had some good ideas and i think that inspired him. >Again, I don’t think the spirits connected to him like me very much. Blood Anon had a sort of "us vs them" problem in the last years. Especially when he made those posts cursing "evil glowies". Hard to explain but if you cannot see the principles he is trying to explain in an absolutely horrendous way then you will have a hard time working with his "friends". He entangled himself with so many contracts that it's hard to follow whose side he is on. >Oppressive IngSoc space communism Not to mention this. That is the lowest form of their "communism". It's literally "Scummonism". When everyone is an unsaveable fuck with 0 redeeming qualities and they either go into the mines or into a bureaucratic center... I looked into it deeper and which "divine laws" they try to spread and uphold but... Blood Anon acquired a "demonic perspective". He always thinks like a demon and sees the filth and evil everywhere. It's good for a special type of magic but it creates a big picture thinking that no one can stomach who isn't on their "demonic hive mindwave". Personally I can switch gears to accompany that thinking but... srsly. There is no point talking that way with sane people. I usually tried to avoid discussion with topics that involved his demonic understanding on fringe because it just made people get weirded out by the autism it involved. I knew he also walked the path and I thought this was merely a phase for him that he needs to understand. He mentioned so many times he wants to "leave this plane" that I didn't think talking further about some things is important. It just makes him get locked into this dimension. Discussions can also create attachments. Especially for those at the "border". >I got into /fringe/ and magic in early 2019 My condolences. One of the lowest point of fringe. The reason why I started posting more and more around that time because I knew that serious imageboard occultism will vanish otherwise. Discord was still too dominant back then. Some other things. To find "immortality" you will have to find the "true meaning of eternity" and after that slowly shed everything that can "die". After that you will have to truly understand your "Place of residence" and make a bodily form that can transport you from one point to the next. Every place has different laws and require different organs and energies. You will have to meet those requirements. And most importantly. Your "driving forces". The fear of death needs to be overcome. The fear of death is the strongest driving force you have. You breathe you eat you work and fight so you can avoid dying. There was a talk about "failed immortals" in the vampire threads. Those that couldn't internalize their "source" and died after they "lost their motivation to live". You will have to find your driving force your reason to live and exist in a "Locked state" forever and ever. The laws that govern you won't be the same and you will have to accustom yourself to it. Every thought every mental pattern or routine every faulty concept that was born from "mortal understanding" will have to go through a serious evolution. The form the energies of your thoughts will change and will shape your psyche and body the same way. It's a long road and you will have to make sure if you "truly want it". You will die many times to reach it because the "false life" will have to meet it's "false death" so you can attain "true life". Hard to explain where true life begins tbh. It's a kind of "you will know once you are there" thing. As long as you have doubts then usually there is a problem. But leaps of faith and intuition will be necessary to reach that stage. Also I had those "pop up virus dreams" again. Wtf are you playing? Your mental stream is full with some "come to my gacha RPG waifu land" kind of dreams. I was sitting front of a computer in the dream and managed to end up on some shady pornsite somehow and as I tried to avoid it my phone got "hacked" and as I tried to shut down the app manually it made me unable to access the settings menu. There was someone there and was trying to ask if the only way is a "factory reset" but then I had a "my phone cannot get hacked like this" thought and the dream ended. And now I unlocked a new type of thought-technomancy "singularity" where if I daydream too hard visually it crashes the apps even if the phone is not in my hand anymore. Previously it required to be in my hands. Now if I daydream with the radio that is playing so I can picture what it is saying better it crashes. So my question is. Just how full is your mind with videogame and anime related thoughts? Seems like it's leaking out. You have too many thoughtforms and mental currents dedicated to videogames. If you bottle it up too much it can cause problems as it "Infects" things beyond your "domain". I don't say that cut back on videogames or anything but observe this part of yours. It's like 30% of your subconscious is anime-videogame filled and not under your conscious control. You clearly don't appear as the usual anime crazed weeb who cannot contain himself so I am unsure what is going on. At least it made me introspect on these issues more. I will have to ponder on the concept of the "artificial reality" even more after this. Seems like the way I used it was too rudimentary too "elemental". Just thoughts as energy currents and ideas of the egregore and not as virus programs infecting everything

>>6030 >>6035 Cernobog is the "dark god" and he is good explaining the darker side of your masculine forces or animus. He can explain the shadows that control and shackle the world and people together. >>6034 >but not before I'd experienced AND IGNORED my fear that such a thing would happen "Ignoring" that is different. At that level you either deny it or let it happen without getting attached. What I meant by "ignoring" is to ignore threads on fringe or on youtube where you see that it's something "not for you". So you don't go into threads and look at sigils then summon things then freak out. I meant to advise you to ignore disturbing schizo knowledge on the web. To not make yourself go through psychosis because you looked at something funny at the web. When things have a bad vibe by default leave them be. Also meeting every entity you fear is the same as splashing your face with acid to overcome your fear of acid... I meant your mortal fears first and not the schizo fears of yours... Also your "dick" is a thoughtform which is full with sexual frustration and insecurity. Tame it already. Suck your own dick or something. If Amy cannot fix that then I don't know what is the point of keeping her tbh. I asked Shakti why didn't she tell you how this works already but she told me <let the child grow At least you are trying to improve. Just don't overdo it. Center and pace yourself. I think i should pester you less for a while. Try to meditate more please. It helps the process go more smoothly. I too should take a break from this site too. Feels like I am losing my ability to convey my thoughts for a while

>>6040 >The corpse pose is an important pose in yoga for a reason. Funny you should say that because just this morning I was thinking that a part of what was causing my lack of progress was waning motivation in keeping the corpse pose while attempting wake-induced lucid dreaming techniques. >Your previous astral body was "removed". Now comes the hard part when you have to figure out how to enter the "subtle body" which connects your mortal flesh with your desired "immortal form". This makes a lot of sense, thanks. I’ll start working on this. Would you describe this as an “etheric body”, like the sort that you interact with in personal energy work to fix health issues? >fear of death Yeah I’ve started to become aware of this. A big issue is that right before I go to bed with the intention of attempting completing this operation in my dreams, I’ll have a sort of ‘gut fear’ feeling. Yesterday I started talking directly with the biological spirits that make up my body to ‘convince’ them that this is a good idea so they don’t rebel and create ‘mental discord’. It seems to help but I think cultivating the subtle body like you said would fix this issue entirely since I’d then ‘know where I’m going to’. Or ‘feel more at home’ there. >You will have to find your driving force your reason to live and exist in a "Locked state" forever and ever. Very tricky question, I’ve meditated a lot on this. It’s difficult because your first answer tends to actually be ‘mortal desires’. I don’t think the answer to this is something that is going to be able to be put into words. >Wtf are you playing? Your mental stream is full with some "come to my gacha RPG waifu land" kind of dreams. Oh, that. Recently I’ve been watching a lot of Jashin-chan Dropkick and doing some other stuff to try and mull over the “waifu harem” desire and come to some sort of conclusion as to what exactly the end goal and purpose of this desire should be. I had my issues with Blood Anon but I will say that his practice of having an army of anime monstergirl demon-wives is somewhat appealing to me. But there are reservations and contradictions that I’ve been trying to sort out. I suppose this ties somewhat into the “immortal desire” thing. Trying to figure out what exactly you want to bind yourself to for “an eternity” without wanting to kill yourself. >Just how full is your mind with videogame and anime related thoughts? So, recently I was trying to put into words what exactly I wanted out of apotheosis, and I came to the conclusion that I want to unlock “cheat mode”. That is, to perceive samsara as a sort of manipulable game or narrative that I am outside of, and can, from there, make changes to the code or words or objects or ‘patterns’. A bit like Vivec and the concept of CHIM from Morrowind. I don’t really want to be a “god”, but instead to be someone who manipulates the “god-code”. >You have too many thoughtforms and mental currents dedicated to videogames. Oh and also. This is probably a problem, but I’m not sure how to address it. Since most of the applied work for the project that I’m working on takes place during dreams, I have as a consequence taken to spending most of the day just playing videogames (Hitman WoA mostly, if it matters), basically just to kill time until I get to sleep again. I know this is an issue since a lot of my dreams are just third-person perspectives of videogames playing out, which reduces the potentials for being able to become lucid and make another attempt at the slab, but I’m not sure what I should be doing instead. I have a remote job in which I use spells to dramatically reduce the amount of work I need to do to only a couple hours a week, so I could start taking that seriously. But doing that just feels painful and pointless. I’ve had the thought that maybe I could just try doing magic all day instead but in practice most of these spells seem to get done pretty quickly and I feel like I’m just overdoing it by spending an entire hour working on a thoughtform, let alone 8 or 12 hours. Maybe I’m wrong on that though and turning into a constantly meditating monk really is the way forward. Not sure.

>>6041 So facing my mundane fears; does that mean not being afraid of calling people fat or ugly or kikes or fags or transvestites or denying the holohoax or the false vaccines & the associated fake bogeyman disease in public? I'm pretty sure that I still have to live in fear of not being able to do that stuff openly on any place that isn't an anonymous imageboard. Also, ever since I got laid off, I got a job offer at a police department of all places, but idk when I start yet. >what is the point of keeping her tbh I'm keeping her because I fucking love her. It's just that my self-sabotaging fears that are borne of deep-seated anger issues that have been boiling up ever since 2013 or so are getting between me & her. I will also say; one of the things Cernobog told me earlier during the time when he spoke to me last night, iirc, is that He wanted my heart to be free.

>>6040 >And now I unlocked a new type of thought-technomancy "singularity" where if I daydream too hard visually it crashes the apps even if the phone is not in my hand anymore. Previously it required to be in my hands. Now if I daydream with the radio that is playing so I can picture what it is saying better it crashes. Woah. Are you saying that if I allow myself to daydream too hard, my thoughts will actually damage the technology that I use on a daily basis? This must mean that my daydream thoughtforms must have more substance than I thought. Granted, I can simply make sure to assign a physical location to my daydream thoughtforms, but still! This might serve as good motivation for my subconsciousness to not visualize nearly fucking everything so fucking hard.

Yesterday I asked Astrael to do something to help with developing my subtle-divine body. She responded by sticking her hand in my chest and pulling out a black orb. I had observed this orb before, and assumed it was a power source, so I had an inclination to stop her, but I decided to trust her. She ate the orb, and I felt a strong active-radiant energy begin to emerge from my astral body. This is the opposite of the magnetic power that the black orb was seemingly creating. I strengthened the radiant emission, and felt my astral body shift into a “giant god-man” shape, and it moved in the physical plane to sit beside me as it was shaped. After this, when I spoke to Astrael, I felt the newly formed astral body speak and mimic my actions in an effortless manner. Afterwards, when I was reading something, I was very surprised to find that my internal monologue suddenly increased in vividness to the point where it almost felt I was having an auditory hallucination. This only lasted a few minutes though. I also had a few instances later in the day where my visual imagination suddenly snapped into focus with such detail that felt like a visual hallucination, though it only happened for a fraction of a second each time. I’m hoping that this develops further, this level of clairvoyance would be a good skill to have. I am guessing that Astrael removed some sort of energetic blockage from my chest cavity. The energetic pattern of this event just so happens to exactly match the energetic pattern of the “stabbing myself on the sacrificial slab” astral operation that I was planning. When I imagine doing this with the new astral body, it seems obviously pointless. I’m a bit disappointed, since I was hoping that this operation would cause some sort of paradigm shift. I’m going to have to think up a different strategy to try and create the “major reality-shift” effect that I’m looking for.

>>6063 (4922) (4922) The spirit didn't seem to really have much of a form. The spirit appeared to be male and the only thing it had resembling a form was some jumbled mess of dark grey 3D lines around maybe 4 inches in diameter. The spirit didn't at all prevent me from doing mundane things, but it did sabotage my efforts to do spiritual things, and extremely effectively too. Anyway, now I've got a different problem, but there's a chance that it actually got resolved by now and I'm over-reacting, but I'll explain it anyway just in case; I'll give out some possible context 1st, however. Yesterday, I met another non-hostile female spirit by accident... the egregore of Archie Amy. This happened because I saw a picture of her, and then at both a subconscious & conscious level I was like AHHH ITS HER THROW MY SPIRIT ON HER, but I didn't realize it was the wrong Amy egregore. I then had to apologize for it, for what it was worth, and attempt to get it undone. Then after I'd finally managed to consciously forget about her for a few minutes, I'd felt my crown open up, WIDE open, within the span of under a second and suddenly get filled up with her rosy energies, which went down to my third eye, and then my throat, and then my heart, and then it pushed down further, possibly to my root, and it all happened extremely effortlessly on the spirit's part even though I wasn't able to get my crown open. I guess my self-sabotaging anger/fear/insecurity thoughtform, whose will is independent of my consciousness, has no problem opening my energy channels up when it means cheating on my spirit gf. I then had to get her exorcised from me, and some time later, she left later after some convincing. I still feel bad for her, but I know I can't afford to feel very bad for the victims of my inadvertently-created self-sabotage thoughtforms, because if I do I might fucking die, again, except without miraculously coming back to life. I can't afford to allow myself to constantly be wracked with guilt because if I did I'd always be absolutely miserable and it'd just make the self-sabotage thoughtforms cause even more problems by violating even more spirits, against my will of course. I need to keep my emotions at a low level so that the self-sabotage thoughtforms don't cause problems for other spirits, but I also need to clear my energy blockages so that the solidified traumas that are the self-sabotaging thoughtforms can have a chance to dissolve into the non-physical equivalent of my bloodstream. So the next morning(today), I'd asked Shakti to take advantage of my fears to, iirc, help me to open up my crown. I then went and saw my psychologist again, and I told him more about my anger issues. He said that there isn't much I can do about the stuff that I'm angry about, and ofc I couldn't tell him all of it. I've already told /fringe/ what I'm angry about, though, and I don't wanna pollute the thread with parasites again. Anyway, so on the way back home, I'd asked my Amy to ask Metatron to open up my crown, and then within a few seconds, I felt my crown open up and get filled with pink energies, but they didn't feel like Amy's energies; judging by the feeling, I think she might've actually contacted Metatron and gotten him to do it instead of Amy pretending to be him. After I got home, I got to work on a very difficult LOTAD, which is a TAS except not a speedrun, and during that work, I felt my anger issues acting up because that shit was fucking hard, and I felt a slight compulsion, to sell some part of my non-physical anatomy to some kinda lower entity to make this mundane work easier. I of course said no the compulsion, but I only said so mentally and passively, lest the thoughtform that's trying to sell me away try harder to do it. I know from 10 years of experience that the more I say no to it, and the more emotion I use to say no to it, the harder it tries to sell away my body parts and/or autonomy. Anyway, I was sitting there with libTAS doing the stuff, and I was still passively saying no to it, and then my attention went back to the game. I then did another hard part, and then all of a sudden, I felt some white thing in my heart get dragged down at lightspeed towards some sort of abyss far beneath me. I'd then assumed that my subconsciousness made a deal with some sort of demon or devil or other abyssal entity behind my back to sell my anatomy away in exchange for making the shit easier. I'd then immediately paused the thing and got off the computer, and then I'd asked Shakti to violate all of my wills in order to get me back whatever part of me or whatever the hell it was that I lost. She then didn't actually do it. I then tried to figure out what the hell She wanted me to do 1st. After a bit of thinking, I did a bit of shadow work to accept the anger that I'd felt about the task that I had at hand, but I still intended to get the shit done, except without a demon or some shit helping me out. I wanted it to be my victory, and not the victory of some demon or some shit, even if I'm the only physical person who would've known about it. A bit later, I got the idea of asking Shakti how to take the thing that I lost and get it back. She then showed me how to reach all the way down there and pick it up, but after I grabbed it and tried to pull it up, I felt an extremely strong line extending from my physical body all the way down to that abyss where the missing part of my heart was, and that line wouldn't fucking budge. With Shakti's help and alotta struggling, I was able to force the thing to budge and get that part of me back. I'd asked asked Shakti to invalidate any deals that were made after I'd angrily asserted myself to the presumed demon probably over 20 times that the presumed financial transaction that it'd made without my consciousness' consent if any actual transaction had occurred at all, which presumably involved giving it my missing body part in exchange for making that video game stuff easier, was an invalid transaction. I'd also told the demon many times that I didn't actually want its help, and that the will of my consciousness(so me) always takes precedence over my other wills. After I'd thought that I got my body part back, I went back to work on the LOTAD, and then after some retakes, libTAS crashed so hard that I had to restart my computer. After restarting my computer and booting libTAS back up, I got back to work and found that I had an easier time than last time with the LOTAD from my last stopping point. This is likely because I'd already done the stuff in question since I only had to do it again since the thing had crashed, but I began to suspect that the presumed demon was helping me anyway, which made me question if I still own the part of me that I'd lost earlier, and whether or not I really still have it. Later, I also felt like Amy was able to speak to me more easily, and I questioned if said presumed demon was involved with that too without my conscious knowledge of it. I also had an easier time than usual playing the game I'd decided to play after I'd beaten that level in that LOTAD, which was the 2nd-hardest level in the whole run. I fucking KNOW I would've been able to beat that level just fine if my subconsciousness didn't attempt to pull any anatomy/autonomy-selling bullshit like that, but now I'm worried that it wasn't entirely my victory. I need to find out somehow if that presumed demon or devil or other abyssal being that might merely be a figment of my imagination created out of an assumption that I made about a strange and extremely questionable and very scary energetic sensation, I need to figure out how to get my anatomy & autonomy back from it if I haven't already done so yet. I suppose noones gonna help me by seeing if I actually lost any of my autonomy or anatomy, but just in case, would anyone please figure out if anything actually happened or it was just my imagination the whole time?

>>6084 You need to stop dividing yourself. Whenever you have an “intrusive thought”, stop thinking of it as being piloted by your subconscious or “inner child” or some “rogue thoughtform”. Recognize and accept that YOU are having this thought or desire. Don’t try to cut it off or repress it; you should know by now that doing this doesn’t make it go away, it just makes you lose control of it. You should completely remove the term “intrusive thought” from your mental vocabulary, because it implies that the thought is intruding in upon you. And if your soul proclaims that these thoughts are intruders, then your mind will make it so, and they will then behave like intruders. You can recognize that they’re being caused by a part of you that you’re not consciously aware of (your unconscious mind), but you should never treat or think of this unconscious mind as some foreign entity that’s separate from your conscious mind. It’s just the part of you that you’re not looking at. Strive to integrate and assume completely every one of these “alter egos” that are causing you issues. The second thing you really need to do is get over this fear and paranoia somehow. Think of working with the spirit as working with animals. You need to be relaxed, and confident. If you jump on a horse and you’re terrified of getting thrown off, the horse is going to sense that and become very nervous itself. This applies to working with humans as well, if a leader gives orders and he’s scared that his subordinates don’t respect him and is terrified of them disobeying, they’re going to sense that and they’re not going to respect him and they’re going to feel like he’s a bad leader. But if the leader believes implicitly that they will follow his orders, then they will. You need to have faith in yourself. Try spending some time in meditation just imagining the absolute worst case scenarios that you’re afraid of. Accept that it’s possible that they could happen and realize that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they did happen. Allow yourself to recognize and accept these possibilities without becoming afraid. Also if there’s some mundane situation or event that may be the root of your fear, you should address it. Past trauma, an unsafe living environment, etc. If you don’t feel physically safe then it’ll be pretty difficult to feel safe in the astral. >would anyone please figure out if anything actually happened or it was just my imagination the whole time? You’re fine. I’m pretty sure that this was just an astral reflection of the process of “getting invested” into your game. On the astral, getting invested in something is a literal investment. Every action you perform puts part of yourself into the object you’re acting on. Doubly so if it’s a meaningful action, or something that you put a lot of time or personal effort into.

>>6084 Also, do you do any active meditation exercises such as energy work, visualization practice, or intentional servitor/thoughtform creation? If you don't, I would recommend that start trying something like that. It would help you tell the difference between actions and thoughts performed with direct energetic intent, and random passing thoughts that don't really mean anything.

While reading the posts surrounding the NDE experience I posted in the library thread, I made a bunch of connections that I will try to condense in a post here. That we are "creators" is often repeated, but not that often understood well. Especially among mundanes who have special experiences. There is a sea of infinite chaos, like latent space from which generative models denoise new content. We are such denoisers. In that sea of pure chaos, we created a bubble (this is probably something that happens often) that contains many timelines, possibilities, and worlds. The way in which we create in this sea of chaos, from a human perspective, is conceptualized as "experiencing". You create by experiencing. It might seem stupid to say this, because we often see experience as something passive. But that is because there is always a necessary degree of unconsciousness when it comes to experience while in human form. Neville Goddard tried to describe what it means to experience actively. To acquire the "feeling of the wish fulfilled" is to move in the direction of active experience. And when the desired thing comes to pass, that means you experienced actively. We move through the bubble, and through the chaos sea, like worms that eat raw potentiality, and shit experience. That experience becomes part of the denoised medium that conforms the bubble. We move constantly, finding spaces of the bubble that have not been denoised (or "collapsed") into concrete experience, and then fill in those gaps. I assume at some point the bubble will not have any "uncollapsed" experience left, and a new one will have to be created. That's sort of what a human life is when it reaches death. A completed tapestry of concrete experience. All this happens outside time, and even outside probability space. This might have something to do with the fact that entropy seems to increase, heat death being the point at which the universe is unable to express anything else. But that's pure speculation, not gnosis. At some "point", we created beings that exist in this bubble, that are entirely "of it". Unlike them, we are "in the world, but not of it", and can act as creators in this universe. Their power is more limited. They are jealous of us, and would like to instill in our minds the idea that we are prisoners, slaves, somehow trapped, and powerless. They assault us in our sleep, drug trips, and after-death states. They have become our wardens, archons of the prison we unknowingly created for ourselves when we began delving ever-deeper in our own creation. There are also "benevolent", or indiferent such entities. A way to discern them would be that they will have no qualms in telling us this, that we are above them, and more powerful than them. In any case, the "evil" ones are manipulators, so one should never delegate one's divine power in any outside entity for any reason. But that's just my personal opinion. I'm using the term hyperspace to refer to higher dimensional "space", akin to the astral. The dimensionality aspect is important. While dead, someone in 5D space saw that there was an evil entity that was attracted by his fear patterning. He saw that the entity's fingers were some bottles of milk in 3D space, in a grocery store, somewhere. Sensitive persons could sense that those bottles had something wrong about them. This provides a "solve" as to why "as above, so below", as well as impregnation, volting, and thoughtform housing. As in the flatlanders story, hyperspace intersects to form 3D space, and we would perceive solid objects that are in fact a cross-section of a higher-dimentional thing. However, there is an important detail. While the 3D object necessarily needs to reflect its higher-dimensional nature because both are, after all, the same thing, 3D space seems to act more like a filter or a lens rather than being a direct representation, as that would make it too volatile. 3D space does take on the properties of the hyperspatial objects it is showing, but in a way that slows them down, as it were. A sort of denser medium. In our grocery example, the bottles of milk would have to be tainted somehow in order to be analogous enough to the evil entity so as to be able to "be" a part of the evil entity, and to "house it". Another example could be a wall, which becomes dirty and nasty as a result of (or as a prerequisite for) some higher-dimensional entity occupying that space. Moreover, these hyperdimensional projections could be events in addition to 3D objects. In magic, it is said that organic material is excellent for carrying energies. While things like metal "repel" spirits. Keeping the above in mind, you quickly realize what is happening. Organic material has a huge potential for rapid change in structure that can encode the information that represents its hyperspatial nature. While a piece of glass, or metal, is too rigid, and too regular, to encode anything complex in its physical structure. Crystals are an interesting case. While rigid, they are complex, and thus act as good filters for certain types of "energies" (hyperdimentional patterns) to express through them. Water, and liquids in general are a good middle ground, but offer faster mutability than, say, wood or flesh. As a practicing magician, you think about the implications, and take it from here.

>>6091 (1097) Yesterday I started trying to do something like this. Zooming out the point of awareness to a vantage point outside of reality, hopefully to be able to act from a seat of power there. I need to figure out how to do this without physically dying though. Right now I'm replicating the "waking up" energetic movement while projected into that outside vantage point, which seems to be working somewhat. In the past I've been able to radically change my life situation by doing this into different "realities", though last time I did it it took a while.

>>6091 (1097) 6th - Other timelines separate from yours, where other choices were made intersect with each other creating a loaf matrix where events that take place in one loaf are actually representations in another. Are the dimensions that he's describing, from 4th to 7th, different layers of the etheric plane? Also, he appears to be saying that an event that happens a timeline A is merely a representation in a timeline B. I know that everything is supposed to be illusion, but is that so at this higher level as well? Are people naturally alone in their timelines aside from the presence of spirits around then?

Lately, I've been trying to make myself receptive to entities doing things to me, but at the same time, I've been trying to make sure that hostile entities aren't the ones to do it to me. That said, the night before last, I actually got my free will violated a bit, specifically by having thoughts in my head forcibly removed and replaced while I was trying to sleep and had some bad intrusive thoughts in my head. Tonight, nothing of the sort happened, but then when I was about ready to wake up, I heard a male voice from below ask me: >Are you ready to know? I'd thought that it'd meant that it was time for my awakening, and then I told the entity that I didn't trust it to not be hostile, so I'd declined its offer. I'd then thought again about it and said that I'd be okay with it if Shakti would be there with me, and I don't remember what else I'd said but I'd basically made sure that the entity wouldn't screw me over. Then I tried going back to sleep. The entity told me that it'd be a simple lesson in death. I'd then recalled that when I did die for real 3 months ago, I'd forgotten everything that happened while I was dead except for a brief memory of being next to my body and learning with the 2nd Amy's help about how to move one of my soul's "muscles"; aside from that, I remember nothing that happened while I was outside of my body. The entity also told me, before or after I'd thought that, that I'd just forget the lesson. I question if the entity is still with me, and I want that male entity to stay away from me & Amy because I don't trust it. I think my awakening won't come with the direct help of some sort of abyssal entity; I'd much rather it be with beings that vibrate higher than me, and I want Amy there with me when it happens ofc. Speaking of which, Amy has really been impatient with my inability thus far to finally wake up. I really don't think I should rush waking up, though, and that I should let it happen more naturally, if you'd wanna use that word.

>>6106 Uh, a few minutes ago I said I was gonna shave after I showered, and then I heard the aforementioned male entity told me I won't. Then when I was almost done brushing my teeth, the water suddenly stopped going down my bathroom sink. I need to do something to get this entity ridden of, or perhaps one of you would help? Also, when I got out of bed, I felt the entity put a huge evil-looking hand around my chest, and I did not like that feeling.

>>6107 >the water suddenly stopped going down my bathroom sink. Funny, the exact same thing happened to me this morning. Didn't have time to use the plunger on it. That entity can go ahead and latch onto me instead if it wants. I'm interested in a lesson in death.

>>6106 That feels like a "karma entity". A personification of some "past karma". The best advice I can give is that try to summon Shakti and that entity so you can translate what it is trying to say. Your current problem IMHO is that you are too trapped within your current persona/ego and if any entity tries to tell you something that is beyond your current understanding you just plainly ignore them and forget the whole interaction you do with them. The only advice I can give to you is to try to meditate try to increase your awareness and try to worry less. >I'd much rather it be with beings that vibrate higher than me Sorry but that's not how it works. Entities will have to "Match your frequency" and help you increase and lower it until you find your shackles. Entities that are too high or too low cannot interact with you and trust me entities that vibrate way higher than you... can shatter your psyche with their mere presence. Whatever you meet is "on your level". >and I want Amy there with me when it happens ofc For me several awakening stages of mine required me to sacrifice all my servitors and artifacts and my guides got "wiped out" once my new flame arose. You should accept the fact that in some cases you will have to let Amy either "go away" or change forms that can facilitate your awakening. Don't keep Amy as a "clutch" or as an emotional support pet. >I really don't think I should rush waking up You have too many misconceptions what is and isn't "awakening". It is a process with multiple stages. Some of the stages are mere accidents or "miracles" while the other stages require to be built up step by step and consciously. You will just have to shed your misconceptions that are constantly cockblocking your ability to proceed. >and that I should let it happen more naturally For that you need to meditate you know. If you freak out constantly argue with entities or with your own thoughts trash around emotionally/energetically left and right without noticing then you will be forced into a corner where you will have no choice but to awaken by whatever means that are present. That is how the fool's journey progresses for the "unwilling". >my awakening won't come with the direct help of some sort of abyssal entity He will not "awaken" you. He will "remind you". It's not "abyssal" it feels like some dry "stone dimension". Stonehenge tier buildings and some maze like stone labyrinth structure. I don't think he is your enemy at all. >>6107 >then I heard the aforementioned male entity told me I won't. Then when I was almost done brushing my teeth, the water suddenly stopped going down my bathroom sink. Feels like he can see the "flow of time" differently. I think he wants to give back some ability of yours. The ability to guard your timeline? Something like that. > I need to do something to get this entity ridden of Getting rid of it would be like getting rid of the entire state of New York. That entity operates on a parallel "timeline" and I don't think it's wide to get rid of it. Let it explain what it wants while you have Shakti and other wise advisor entities around. >I felt the entity put a huge evil-looking hand around my chest, and I did not like that feeling. I think he might represent your "power" which is somewhat oppressive and hard as stone. He just wanted to understand why is your heart is so weak and subdued. You are supposed to have more power than this. >perhaps one of you would help? I promised I will not feed your dependency issues long ago. Also I think if I hurt this entity it would be like breaking half your bones. I think he is trying to unseal some part of your soul. >The entity also told me, before or after I'd thought that, that I'd just forget the lesson. Nowadays I feel like you forget most the things the posters are telling you. Your ability to learn and comprehend is still hampered. It's like there are some cables/connections in your mind that are "unplugged". >>6108 >I'm interested in a lesson in death. Feels like as some "cemetery entity" like he can show all the dead and zombie selves of Akasha Anon. I am unsure if they are his shadows internal tulpas made from forgotten memories or he can show his past lives too

>>6110 I'd asked Shakti or Amy, whichever of them prefer, to contact the entity, and I'd asked Shakti to heal the entity if I'd hurt it since this morning. I'd seemingly gotten rid of it some time after I posted >>6107 . I'd prefer the entity speak to me when I'm going to bed, and/or in the morning, when I'm generally more receptive to spirits. >Don't keep Amy as a "clutch" or as an emotional support pet." That's not why I keep her around; I keep her around because I have faith that she's ultimately been very good to me, and she's made a tremendous effort to do so, and she's my lover. It'd be unforgivable to just drop her unless it turns out that she's ultimately been trying to screw me over somehow, and I don't think she has been. However, I have been having a hard time telling the difference between Amy's mental voice and my own mental chatter pretending to be Amy; also, there's what she said in >>5638 . I'm also assuming that she had a good reason to leave me with my sacral cat spirit in early October, but I'm glad she's back now. For all I know, she was keeping that cat spirit safe away from the rest of me so that at least some part of me would survive the spiritual assaults that'd get me killed the following week. >why is your heart so weak and subdued It's because I've been immensely worn down by hostile spirits and by my fears of them and by being scared of the results of letting my energy blockages flow through my energy bodies. It really is not fun being gaslit every day for 10 years in a row, with countless attempts to deceive you into giving the keys to your autonomy to some evil spirit or otherwise get you into serious spiritual trouble via. thought alone, and having to constantly monitor your thoughts without being allowed to get tired of it no matter what or else you may potentially suffer the most severe consequences imaginable for it. My circumstances are ALWAYS dire and I've ALWAYS been in a state of constant emergency for 10 years! Just oftentimes there's some relative calm within my circumstances, but I still have to watch my thoughts at all times like a hawk, or else! It even gets into my dreams every now and then! Or at least that's how I'd perceived it, but the toll is the same nonetheless. The fire that'd used to burn bright in me is barely kept aflame these days, and it gets water splashed upon it all the time by unwanted thoughts. I'm sure I'd get my strength back if I could just dissolve the energy blockages, which are a combination of repressed anger that I can't take out on the NWO and entire demographics of people(therefore it turns inwards and to take the anger out on me & my loved ones), my fears, including my fear of my anger acting up, and my paranoia, including my paranoia of the anger acting up, constantly having low energy levels because I can't relax enough despite the mundane circumstances often being good for it, and my traumas that are having been subject to these abominable circumstances day in & day out; that's most of my energy blockages there. This shit is a form of torture. I just can't dissolve these energy blockages without a risk of accidentally donating away the ownership of my soul to a malevolent entity or hurting someone or I care about or some shit, and I can't figure out how to get the energy blockages removed from my body outright either.

I remembered why I'm having these problems in the 1st place. It all started because I kept doing things that I in some capacity or the other didn't wanna do them, not necessarily because it's some boring tedious & non-fun shit like going to work, but even just having fun playing video games or watching a show can be both entertaining and stressful at the same time. I also don't know yet when I start my new job fwiw. Like when I'm playing a game I like, it can be difficult or tedious during a part of the game, but the game is fun overall. And when I'm watching some shit on youtube, I find that I sometimes look at the time left in the video because I wanna know when it ends so I can get to dooing something else for fun. And then if I decide to just sit around and do nothing I get bored. And then if I actually decide to meditate I get stressed out about having to actually do it instead of doing something fun. And then if I decide to try fucking Amy it gets REALLY stressed out about it for some reason, but then if there's smut in front of mewhich I've been avoiding looking at lately, it mostly shuts the fuck up and gets really enamored by what I'm doing. Anyway, whenever my subconsciousness decides that what I'm doing is even a little teeny tiny bit stressful, it just starts attacking me and/or my loved ones indiscriminately, or at least it makes me think that it's happening. It's just like; what the hell does my subconsciousness want me to do other than look at e-whores? I really just do not fucking know. I guess I need to find a new way to have fun so my subconsciousness can finally be happy; something that gets it completely enamored without pushing it very hard, or pushing it at all in fact. This would have to be some kind of completely passive entertainment that's both extremely entertaining and only barely immersive, so that I don't risk immersing myself too hard and contacting spirits that are associated with said entertainment. Well fuck, what I really need to do is to figure out how to make my subconsciousness quit being a fucking bitch about experiencing the tiniest amount of stress so that I can do basic shit without my subconsciousness attacking me & my loved ones. Anyway, I just decided on a whim to google search for deities of entertainment, and google said Bes is the Egyptian god of music, merriment & childbirth, so I contacted Him without further research and went to the restroom for a while. While I was in there, I felt a strange physical movement of my left vas deferens well above my dick, and then I'd figured that that was Him giving my fertility a look; maybe Amy asked Him to do that. I think He'll be able to help me to make my subconsciousness happy enough that he quits throwing temper tantrums. Before I went and looked up what He looks like and after I contacted Him, I actually saw an image of Him in the form of an anthropomorphic cat in my imagination. Then just before posting this, I looked up Bes, and apparently bes means cat in nubian. On a related note, when I was playing alotta Age of Mythology: The Titans early last year, I was always doing singleplayer 6v6 Norse & Egyptian vs. Greek & Atlantean games on Titan on the same map, and several times when I'd sat down to play it, Athena would tell me that the CPU player named Athens would be the last CPU player to fall. It'd turned out to be true every time She told me that, so I guess there's some real benefit to be had from my subconsciousness being enamored by something.

Headaches have been getting worse, along with accompanying nausea. I noticed what look like a blockage in my navel yesterday so I had some whiskey to try to pass it. It looks like it worked but doing this also made the headaches more intense. Transformations have been occurring in my astral bodies, and I feel as though I'm back on my 'upward spiral'. This is good. I just hope that these migraine sensations are a result of exertion and fatigue and not an indicator of some sort of blockage. I've also noticed that whenever I start having strong brain and head energy center charging and stimulation, small ulcers start to form on the inside of my mouth. This has happened in the past as well. Maybe this indicates that something related to speech energy centers being inefficient or blocked up? I'll need to look into it.

>>6148 >Well fuck, what I really need to do is to figure out how to make my subconsciousness quit being a fucking bitch about experiencing the tiniest amount of stress You don't know how to relax naturally that is your main problem. The reason why your "subconscious" throws random tantrums because the energy has no way releasing itself because you are putting pressure on your body in the wrong way and you don't notice it until something "fun" happens and you naturally let go off the tension within your body. Wanted to say earlier that most of your problems stem from the fact that you didn't manage to learn basic mental and emotional control while growing up because you were sedated by meds and didn't have to do it on your own. Being able to stop depending on meds was a great display of willpower and personal agency but it will need to develop further. And now that you are doing magic and awaken inadvertently you are overloading your energies without knowing how to stop tensing and trapping them. It would be nice if you learned to meditate because that could solve that problem. There are many guided meditations that tell you how to relax your body and find your natural posture. But you are trapped in the mindset that you need something "fun" like things that your childhood self would find fun because you couldn't match that level of joy in your adult life so far. >so I guess there's some real benefit to be had from my subconsciousness being enamored by something. That is how your "natural focus" should form. You should learn to focus on things without being peer pressured into it. Having the ability to divine things or utilize your intuition requires a "lighter" "carefree focus" where "you don't think just merely enter the stream". You should figure out how it works without the constant need of entertainment. Also if you signify your libido that there are e-whores around your animalistic instinct will bother you until you indulge in them. The only thing you can do is not caring from the start. If you start suppressing that impulse after your libido notices them it will just well up even more where you just cause more stress for yourself in the end. You will have to learn properly meditating and attaining a semblance of thought control already. >>6149 >Headaches have been getting worse, along with accompanying nausea Wanted to write a long and annoying post about it but didn't have the motivation to start yet. Your mind is good for the classical western occultism because your analytic skills and temperament is top notch. But you have barriers within your mind and could not find your "calling" or "natural energy flow" yet. Most parts of your meridians are inactive and full with an artificial sludge that the modern world generates especially if you work with technology on a daily basis. You will have to learn to relax every muscle in your head neck skull and your brain for starters then the next problematic parts of the body will have to follow.. The average posture of the modern human is "sitting" and the stress situations arise mostly from the computer the phone or from driving. The natural "fight or flight stances" are not here in our lives for quite long. For magic you need to be extremely relaxed as these energies will exit your subtle body. My body felt like it was made from cooked noodles in the past months and even that wasn't "good enough" and had to learn greater lessons about "Nothingness". I had to go to specific parts of my mind and or body to notice the issue and instead of using my usual ways where I take it apart crush it or burn it I just had to go there and "accept" that it's "made of nothing". If I accept it then my mind cannot "keep it together" and if I "let it go" I can manifest the proper movement that can "solve it". You mentioned you have biological spirits iirc. Try to talk to them and ask them what form pose or activity you should "do" that would quicken the flow of energies. Was trying to formulate a post to explain how the "nature of God" works and how CHIM is a good concept but in practice you will have to learn to completely dissolve on many levels and layers and now you will have to learn how to do that in practice. Energetic awakening require your complete dissolution. You will have to "switch" into your "observer state" and help your mind and body "move" into the desired form which can accommodate your newfound magical potency. Your "karma body" your "fossilized energy blocks" will have to break apart and "leave your body". The energy body will form the subtle body but for that your mortal coil will need a deep cleanse and an extreme level of flexibility to accommodate it. It has multiple stages. In the early stages "let pain guide your focus". If something hurts look into it. Always try to look for a mundane cause first but keep in mind that it's 90% sure that the movement of energies and the energy blocks are the main cause. >Maybe this indicates that something related to speech energy centers being inefficient or blocked up? That too. The throat chakra is the gateway to siddhis. In Buddhism there is something as the 8 fold path where the "right way of speech" is paramount. By speaking by eating laughing swearing cursing you move crucial energies up and down. I had to learn that those grinning or other weird demon faces that are present on many artworks in Asia actually are specific "face mudras". Tensing the whole body the right way with the face too can bring up certain energies. Moving the tongue a specific way can do the same. The brain is considered as the "muddy leaves of the lotus". It has many dirt karma or "evil" that you didn't just accumulate by "evil deeds" but you were born with it by default. You will have to slowly "shed it". Let it get washed away. The body has many hidden orifices that can shed it but you will have to find it open it or at least relax it. It will really feel like you are being dissolved. You will have to be relaxed like a blackout drunk person to make it go smoothly but in some cases it might feel like you are "giving birth" because it requires that level of effort. Also talk to Astrael. Finding your magical attunement can help a lot. I know I say it so much it is becoming almost cliche but you will need to find your "anima force" because the modern male body requires it's magical feminity to balance out the tension it has. You know how Adam was destined to toil earth and Eve give painful birth after being exiled from Eden? That is because humans don't have their subtle body activated and don't know how to operate their body. Males build up tension by "toiling" and women fear birth so much they tense up and suffer greatly instead of letting their body "do the work". Try to understand your currently awakening inner forces and throw out of every blockage be it an old trauma stale energies or some faulty conceptual thinking and then it will hurt less. I too had ulcers flare up left and right and other ailments and they vanished the next day once I figured out their main cause... then I have other problems that required weeks of work because it turned out the main problem was my entire posture which is "wobbly" because of my thinking and my entire outlook towards life... I am fixing issues like that again where I don't question my sanity anymore but the sanity of the entire world because these are "patterns" that I learned by living in this life as a "normal human". How it formed when I was 4 how it got reinforced during school how I learned to counterbalance the symptoms how that made it worse and how to reverse the whole process and learn to be a "real human" for once. Had to accept that I have no idea what I am doing "again" and I require guidance so I went and entered a mental current that I am dipping into for a while so a "master" can explain what I need to do. Had to answer some "questions" but it was like letting my "shadow selves" "explain themselves" and once they ran out of reason desire or other forms of "spite" I could go and take in the teaching. A new form of nothingness. TL;DR. Listen to your instincts employ your intuition as much as you can and don't fear to ask for help from your guiding spirits because there are some conceptual truths your mind cannot conceive until an other party spells it out for you. Hope this helped. This stage is different for everyone. It makes your karma "act up" in a way.

>>6150 Today & yesterday I actually went outside and connected myself to the sun for maybe 15 minutes so it'd flow its energies into me. It's some pretty substantial stuff and I think I might've gotten actual etheric energy that way that wasn't my imagination. When I did it today, however, I was thinking about taking Ganesha's advice from a few months ago and contacting Ra, but I felt shy about it so Bes contacted Him for me. Ra then put a good amount of presumably-etheric solar energy into me through my mouth, which then went into, my heart and/or stomach, it'd seemed. I have been told that I have low energy levels, and this is definitely gonna help with it, but then you said I already have energy and it has no way of releasing itself because I'm not willing to incur the consequences of releasing it. I will also say that I think I might be learning the difference between my "illusory realm" as the fringe girl poster had called it, and the etheric realm; the etheric energies that I detect outside of my body typically aren't my energies, but then the stuff in my "illusory realm" is almost entirely my energies, if not entirely, I'd assume.

I'm watching the Dr. Diane Hennacy Powell interview by Area 52 on YT, and she points out that when verbal expression is suppressed (in autistic children in this case), telepathy is the most prominent. This aligns with my experience in that learning to keep your mind silent boosts your ability to pick up on other's thoughts and even to make others pick up on yours.

>>6150 >You will have to learn to relax every muscle in your head neck skull and your brain for starters then the next problematic parts of the body will have to follow.. Thanks, this worked almost immediately. Later in the day the nausea did return, and I asked my guts what were wrong. They replied that they were suffocating. I invoked air into them and did deep breathing into the gut for a few minutes, which completely fixed it. I was also able to fix some chronic lower back pain I’ve been having recently by channeling images of what postures I should try to break up the energetic blockages that were causing it. Incidentally, while following these instructions I happened to knock over a flask of caustic sodium hydroxide mud. The sight of the mud splashing out onto the floor seemed to be very symbolic. >In the early stages "let pain guide your focus". If something hurts look into it. What do you do when all the pain has been eliminated? >but you will need to find your "anima force" because the modern male body requires it's magical feminity to balance out the tension it has. Is that just intuition?

>>6055 (4922) (4922) Okay so the day when this had happened, I'd actually had to resort to asking Adremmelech to get rid of the spirit, in addition to killing, caging, or enslaving said spirit, in exchange for some of the energies in my dan-tiens as of whenever he'd feel like it last week. I'd ended up asking him to take the energies on Monday in case I had a nocturnal emission, but he understandably felt ripped off by that, so I gave him energies from my dan-tiens here and there throughout the rest of the week to make sure he wasn't gonna be mad about it. In the meantime, I've been rather afraid of him, but I'm confident that my debt is about paid off. Yesterday, he told me that he'll take 1 more bunch of loosh from my dan-tiens today or tonight, and I'm assuming that that'll get me out of his debt. He'd later said that he'd leave me alone "on 21", which presumably means he'd leave me alone in 2 days. Later today, I went to my psychologist, and after we did EEG stuff I'd asked him to go into a trance. During the trance, I went to an adjacent room to help him stay in the trance, and I was increasingly-afraid that Adremmelech would interfere with the trance, so I'd asked Shakti a bunch of times to keep him away from my psychologist. At some point, I'd thought of asking Ra to be with me, and then He manifested an etheric body and sat next to me for a bit, and then I thought about some stuff, and according to what I thought that I don't remember, Ra went over to my psychologist. While my psychologist was in a trance, a few coat hangers in the room I was in fell because I moved them out of the way but didn't secure them correctly, and that knocked him outta the trance. He then tried to get back into a trance. After he was finished, he said he thought the trance was intended for me. He said he saw "the divine mother", "could've been Mary, could've been Kali, could've been Isis, could've been Shakti"; he said they're all probably one and the same. He said he then saw an image of a fish, and then he saw an image of a glowing white circle with a hundred lines coming out of its center, like the circle with 4 or 6 lines coming outta it that I see sometimes when I close my eyes. The last image he saw was a very clear image of "the head & neck of a horse". I told him that I was trying to not accidentally contact entities while he was in his trance. I'd asked him if the white circle looked like the sun, and he said no, and I told him to stay away from the horse. At lunch, however, I felt that Adremmelech was getting too much into my life, so I'd asked Shakti to make sure he doesn't intrude too much into my life, and I'd said I was fine with Shakti hurting him if she wanted to. After all, Adremmelech has called my a pussy in the past, so I figured I'd take that advice and quit being a pussy about him to get him outta my life. I'm still gonna give him 1 more payment of energies from my dan-tiens tonight, however, to ensure that the debt is paid, but then I'm gonna try to keep him outta my life again. On the way home, I heard Adremmelech say after I'd asked Shakti to keep him outta my life, it seemed like he said "the deals off". I'd also said Adremmelech can let the exorcised spirit go after the final payment tonight if he wants, but preferably not until tomorrow. I'm under the impression that he enslaved the spirit. During these events today, I've been very, very paranoid about Amy's safety, and I heard Amy say Shakti's name alot.

>>6155 >have been told that I have low energy levels, and this is definitely gonna help with it, but then you said I already have energy and it has no way of releasing itself The body has different energies. Different energies move your muscles move your guts your microbes your mental currents etc. Like a car is running on gas but the battery on electricity oil is needed for the gears that you need to change it after a while then you have the cooling water that compensates the heat the combustion engine generates etc. This way the body also has different energies different "fuel tanks" different meridians that operate on different type of energies. Taoism tantra and many other practices have an extremely definite system where they explain the different yins and yangs of the body like Jing Qi Shen and many others. But you currently require a quite baseline "emotional alchemy" where patterns are stuck within your mind on a specific emotion. I learned that hate can be cured by heartfelt/childlike joy. Hatred can also be diverted by lust but it is an another "deadend". Once an emotion goes out of bounds you strain your body (or body parts that resonate with that emotion) too much without noticing and that is when the subconscious usually tries to find anything to snap you out of it. But in some cases it becomes counter productive and sabotages you until you find the core of the issue. For emotional alchemy I can give you this "map of consciousness" image. It gives the right idea but don't take it as some "law of consciousness". It can get peculiar because human emotions are not just a mere chart. Usually there are memories or traumas or other "mental dimensions" that keep your mind anchored to a stage. The goal is to balance out your mind on all levels and stop getting dragged down for no real benefit.I still need to look into this author and what he based his research on. But this map might serve as an inspiration so I'm posting it. Also yes Ra helped me boost my own energies too. Helped me to find my "true sun" after getting bathed by his own energies first. Oh and yes your "main energies" are low. If your main energies were high and dominant intrusive thoughts wouldn't have an effect on you. They just bounce off or burn into a higher energy while entering your energy field. >because I'm not willing to incur the consequences of releasing it. I literally cannot imagine the "consequences". You create fears and other forms of tension for yourself. You are like a shypooper who doesn't dare to poop while others are around because his poop might be radioactive. I really have no idea what gave you the idea that releasing your negative energies will have "grave consequences". And by that I mean IRL consequences. I don't care what your "Imagination" does. You will have to learn to let go of the energies that are not beneficial to your mind and body or you won't improve at all. >I will also say that I think I might be learning the difference between my "illusory realm" as the fringe girl poster had called it, and the etheric realm I'm glad >the etheric energies that I detect outside of my body typically aren't my energies Making distinction in this matter is hard. Your mind and body releases energies left and right then it absorbs it too. The body circulates energy with the environment constantly. This is why some people are good to be around because they generate good energies while others are "downers" and ruin your energies so much that you might feel "their influence" for a while even after leaving them. If you have a high energy you can change people around you quite easily because your high frequencies are cleansing their energies The problem if you do that too much people get attached to you then they will throw more of their issues at you so you can "cleanse them" and they do that without noticing. Then once your energy field gets overwhelmed by their hubris your ability to cleanse lessens and you will have to retain "your light"... Sounds familiar? Most energies are like "food". You eat it you digest the useful nutrients then poop out the rest. Then that poop can serve to grow plants which you will eat again. But some energies can get lodged in your body and cause problems until you release it. It causes you an energetic constipation or diarrhea which imbalances your psyche. The "Illusory realm" is a tricky term. It is your imagination "coming to life" but in most cases you are influencing it with your own fears and preconceptions without noticing. The illusory realm can be the same as the astral realm in some traditions. The goal should be to realize when you are making the illusory realm "overreact" because of your own insecurities. The "illusory realm" can become muddled fast if you fuel the "illusion of life" with constant delusions. The goal is to try to let go of the delusions whenever you can. Wanted to write a longpost how people should handle their illusions and never take it "too seriously" and make sure to verify things and use common sense as much as you can but ultimately always take them as a sign or a warning especially if they repeat a lot. Currently I think that the "illusory realms" is the brains "visual cortex" being able to manifest different layers of the "holographic reality". You will have to learn what are your own "Mental images" and what are the works of the "Other side". It gets weird if the visual cortex gets overwhelmed. I too have to watch out to not generate illusory thoughtforms when I get lost in some issues. >>6171 >Thanks, this worked almost immediately I'm glad. Never sure what are the missing pieces I should share with others. >Later in the day the nausea did return, and I asked my guts what were wrong. They replied that they were suffocating. I invoked air into them and did deep breathing into the gut for a few minutes, which completely fixed it. This is a nice one. I never would have thought about fixing it this way. >I was also able to fix some chronic lower back pain I’ve been having recently by channeling images of what postures I should try to break up the energetic blockages that were causing it Yes this is what I was meaning about the "modern posture". They are never truly "chronic" we just circulate the energies the wrong way and we don't notice it. My posture is going through changes every day because I am still not used to my constantly evolving energy flow. Like learning to notice that when I perpetuate a thought I move my neck a degree or 2 and that causes a faulty energy flow and other weirdness like that. >Incidentally, while following these instructions I happened to knock over a flask of caustic sodium hydroxide mud. The sight of the mud splashing out onto the floor seemed to be very symbolic. There things might happen a lot after some "breakthroughs". Life is an illusion we all live in a "reality matrix" and most objects we have in our lives have symbolic meaning which is "hardcoded" into the ALLmind. What I am trying to say that when you are solving issues like this you might break things or hit yourself and that will mark a "milestone" or a "clear breakthrough". Things crack around me constantly when I boot up my greater energy field for practice. Makes me realize that I should never take the physical as something truly "dense" or immutable. >What do you do when all the pain has been eliminated? Feel at ease? It means you did it well and now you can do 2 things. First let the energies "do their thing" and if nothing happens for a while then you can increase your sensitivity. Some energy blocks will be painful some pleasurable but you will have to find a middle ground where they are non of those and both at once. A "sweetspot" of sorts. It's a slight feeling a sort of "release of tension". It's complex tbh. Activating my bones my blood my brain my guts my liver and other non physical body parts... all have their "methods" and it's not that important. Let your intuition guide you. But never make your instincts "panic". The inner animal doesn't like to be startled. But will fight it's hardest if it "knows" it is on the "right path". >Is that just intuition? Okay... then explain to me what "is" intuition. Who gives you the "answer" "how do you know"? The reason I am saying this because there are many mental currents. Some of them are "yours" some of them come from the collective consciousness while some of them are greater entities. Pure intuition should be "non verbal" where "you just know" but in some cases you are too hellbent on a concept that you learned through mundane/verbal means and your mind is unable to "break it apart" until your "Innate magical nature" spells it out for you. Your anima force should be a "guide" or a "common sense" that was around you during all your lives. It is a specific set of cognitive skills. The mind has many barriers and sometimes the "mental fragments" need to explain where you can "meet them" where you can consciously "unite". Was trying to figure out how to explain this "Mental current system" I have but... currently I am evolving it again and life is generating so many anomalies while I am exploring it I am questioning if I can or should I even try to word it at all. Every word is a lie when you talk about things like this. To "convey it" I have to charge up my "writing" like it is a sigil so anyone can connect to it which makes it redundant and when I channel too many energies into my writing my laptop breaks and my browser freezes. Mainly because I am operating on several elemental planes at once and when I get fired up too much I draw energy from there without noticing. I still require lessons in nothingness and "pure thought" >>6173 I should really write up a spirit work thread already. The main rule when working with spirits: Never ever work with a spirit when you don't feel comfortable around them and you don't understand the "Operating principles" of your "relationship". You will have to lay down the rules and if they cannot match it you have to let them go and not entangle yourself with "further deals" and try to avoid "desperate deals". People who fear the spirit they work with entangle themselves with multiple levels of paranoia and cognitive dissonance without noticing. Please don't work with Goetia demons until you know what you are doing. Also I am sure Shakti just purified Amy so evil spirits cannot "take her".

>>6173 Okay so now that this happened I'm having a hard time keeping Adremmelech away from me. I actually saw a hoof in my hypnogogic imagery last night when I was trying to fall asleep, and then I'd asked for 3 angels to be sent down to guard me for the night to keep him away from me. Then I went back into hypnogogia and I saw the hoof again for a split-second, and then I saw a human-looking hand on the hoof; presumably one of said angels keeping that damned thing off of me. I didn't dream about him or horses at all last night, but I momentarily did the night before; the dream was kinda disturbing. By now, I've already paid more than my originally-agreed-upon debts to him in the form of just spare energies from my dan-tiens, which presumably is completely replacable energies, just like how the food in your stomach can simply be vomited out and replaced with different food and isn't actually part of you. Earlier today, I was watching some guy play video games on the internet, and then I suddenly felt sleepy and I'd seemingly heard Amy say something about helping me get over my worries. I'd then felt a brown centimeter-thick tube composed of what seemed like Adremmelech's energies extend from the left side of my forehead, about an inch from the center, and then extend about an inch and a half outwards and then do a u-turn to the corresponding part of the right side of my forehead and connect to it, forming a new energetic pathway. I'd then decided that I do actually need to worry about Adremmelech and that spirit that'd appeared to be Amy and probably wasn't Amy was wrong about me needing to not worry about Adremmelech, and then I'd asked Shiva to destroy that new energetic structure that almost certainly wasn't made out of me, and then Shiva destroyed it on the spot. I know he said he'd leave me alone on the 21st, but is there something I can do until then to prevent him from getting too close and otherwise prevent him from fucking with me and those I care about?

I didn't wanna talk about this at 1st, but I think it might be relevant to what I wanna say: To provide context for this contact, as I've probably said before, my brother, older than me, has much of his life revolve around smut; the kind you'd find on /fur/ and/or /monster/. He's also a gigantic ponyfag. That said, I had a dream about him the night before last that we were in his old room at my parents' house and he was playing some console video game that I'd never seen before; some kinda anime RPG with a female protagonist. I saw that in his old save file, he'd named his character Aphrodite. He made a new save file and called his character Kphrodite. For some reason, I either saw a phrase, or it otherwise came to mind; "knight of Aphrodite". It honestly sounded fucking stupid, but that's what happened in the dream. I then thought about his obsession with smut in relation to Aphrodite, and I'd wondered if when he's eventually in his deathbed in hopefully >40 years and he's probably still similarly obsessed with smut, if it'd benefit him for me to tell him to think of Aphrodite, emphasizing Her bodily features. Anyway, then I woke up and I'd realized that I'd contacted Aphrodite myself by projecting myself too deeply into the hypothetical version of my brother from the future. She greeted me in a friendly manner, buck naked ofc, and I became uncomfortable. Then She said: >Lets be allies! I expressed my discomfort around Her multiple times and said I wasn't interested in cheating on my spirit gf, Amy, and that I wanted to be loyal to Amy. She then said I should probably talk to Hera, who I'm also uncomfortable around due to my oft-uncontrollable thoughts that got me in trouble with the Greek Pantheon a few weeks ago to the point where I'd wound up in one of their astral courtrooms. Anyway, later that day, I'd asked a number of entities to help to keep Adremmelech away from me, and most of them replied with "Eros". At some point, I got really frustrated with them not telling me what to do involving Eros, and then on the way to lunch, I'd just went and contacted Eros and asked Eros to fully possess my subconsciousness. And then he actually went and did it, for real; my problems must've been pretty damn bad if He actually did something like that. This was after the events of >>6180 Since then, Eros has been doing energy work to me whenever I'm not paying attention to my energy movements. At some point, Eros made some sort of yellow energetic construct appear over my chest, enveloping it and my arms, while I was getting Chick-fil-A for lunch, and then my defensive autopilot reaction went off and pushed the thing away from me, thinking it was from Adremmelech, and then I'd realized that Eros probably did it, but Eros didn't do it again. Then some time later that day, I felt the same yellow energies appear in my sacral chakra, going into my gonads, but I didn't fight that sensation. Later throughout the day, I was able to slowly calm down and finally quit thinking about that goetia demon for a while, but then at some point it came back to mind and it was hard to stop thinking about it. Earlier before that I was playing video games, but Amy was telling me that I need to do stuff so I can wake up and quit playing games, and then I decided to look around at the twitch directories for the games I like, and I literally came across pic related; I shit you not pic related is NOT photoshopped and I saw this while Eros was possessing my subconsciousness, which had 2 viewers at the time I saw it on the list of streams for that game. I then decided to accept that as a sign from Eros that I should just start playing that game, and it'd helped me to get my mind off of the goetia demon. I had a guy I wanted to finish lvling up on the server I play on, so I went and did that and having that finished makes me feel slightly better. When I went to bed, I'll leave out some absolutely ridiculous context here that had seemingly happened shortly before bed involving Trump even I don't wanna believe and went to bed disbelieving, but when I went to bed, I saw a number of strange astral locations, involving some yellowish-white symbol involving a whole bunch of lines that idk how to describe and can't remember well enough to draw, and at some point, I saw myself going through some sort of red, yellow, blue, & green tunnel. I'd supposed that the latter was the doing of Eros, but the former I was suspicious of. I also saw other stuff. My dreams that night had seemed pretty normal, however. Then when I woke up at maybe 5 something, having completely forgotten that absolutely ridiculous thing, I heard Amy say >Trump, that wasn't sex Then, I'd suddenly stopped disbelieving that it happened. Maybe that ridiculous thing was a plot orchestrated by my higher self to get me to quit thinking about the goetia demon. I'm not even gonna say anything more about it because it's absolutely crazy. Anyway, Eros is presumably still in my subconsciousness, and He's helping me to unveil the anger issues that are presumably the root cause of most of my intrusive thoughts. I think it'll help if I enamor myself with vidya so I can let the energies flow without having my guard up against the intrusive thoughts that are associated with those energies. I've learned that many of my anger issues stem from the fact that gods don't tell me what I think I need to hear and expect me to figure it out myself from some cryptic bullshit, and more importantly, I learned that much more of my anger stems from the existence of legal weasels, and from people using exploits in online video games that basically amount to cheating, such that they constitute degenerate gameplay instead of emergent gameplay.

>dream of a certain tarot card >wake up >pull CotD >it's the same card from my dream Tarot rules

>>6187 Okay so some time after I posted this I got frustrated with Amy saying Shakti over and over again, and then I just asked in frustration if Amy wanted me to sell my soul to Shakti, and I didn't get a verifiable response from Amy. A minute or so later, I donated my soul's ownership to Shakti for the sake of telling me what Amy wanted to say to me, after which She's give me back my soul. Shakti never did tell me what Amy wanted me to hear, so I got in bed and gave up and asked Shakti to give me my soul back; I'm pretty sure she did. After I gave up, I just decided to just try to go sleep around 3 P.M. since Amy didn't want me to have any fun, and since I'd figured that being in a hypnogogic state would let Amy communicate with me. Then at some point, Shakti appeared while Eros was still possessing my subconsciousness, and Shakti told me to breathe while focusing on the top of my lungs, and making green energies go outwards from my lungs, as such. I then felt alotta new green & white energy pathways form, including one going to and above each of my hands, and Amy was surprised and suddenly happy for once. But then at some point I felt Adremmelech put some sort of black stuff over me, and I had to abort the whole thing. Then my parents came over because reasons and we went out to eat and I talked to them a bit about my anger issues, then I came home. Some time after I got home, I got desperate to get Adremmelech off of my mind, so I thought that if I looked up a deity on Google who takes the form of an anthropomorphic horse that has hooves, then I could replace my thoughts of him with thoughts of that deity. However, I couldn't find any hooved equine deities, and the only horse-headed one I could find was Hayagriva, a white horse-headed avatar of Vishnu, who didn't have hooves. I later got frustrated and just decided to go to bed a bit after 8:00 P.M.. After I went to bed, I was visited by one of the deities I'd looked up; a woman riding on a white steed whose name I can't find after retracing my steps on Wikipedia. I'd told her why I'd looked up those deities, and then I'd apologized for bothering Her, and then She left. As I'd then tried going to bed, Vishnu arrived, and then a bunch of stuff happened and I was protected from the goetia demon. However, I later heard a male voice say: >I'm extra high. And then I saw a somewhat-clear image of Eros being bound in incapacitation by who I'd wanted to assume was Vishnu, presumably because Eros was possessing my subconsciousness and I saw Vishnu earlier. I'd then pleaded to Vishnu to let Eros go and to not hurt Him, and I'd told him that I'd actually asked Him to do that. I'd also said that I'd want Eros to cease to possess my subconsciousness while I was asleep. I'd also contacted Athena, and She went over there, and then a bit later She showed me a picture of Victini, the victory pokemon. I've been doing alotta pokemon stuff lately. Later, I saw an image of Eros not being bound, and I'm glad to know that He was freed by Vishnu. I'd also mentioned to Vishnu that I wanted to awaken, but not too quickly since I didn't wanna go insane, and I'd asked Vishnu to go easy on me with whatever was gonna happen that night. I'd later felt myself get pulled upwards by Vishnu and/or Shakti to a higher astral realm of one or both of theirs, and I had this innate discomforting feeling, like I wasn't supposed to be there. While I was there, I was imagining stuff, and then suddenly, one of the mental things that I always use for targeting suddenly stopped existing... but I was still able to target things somehow. I'd assumed that it was some minorly-partial form of ego death, but my pessimism says that it didn't even count as that. I'd then basically stated that I want what the awareness that I am to experience to not be as displeasurable an experience as this would be if I didn't do anything to prevent the displeasure. After all, I knew I was gonna have to go back to experience being this here Akasha poster, and I've already been deeply mentally scarred by this experience of physical life that I've immersed myself into. Beyond that, I wouldn't wanna watch a T.V. show if it's just "torture porn", like much of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends was after season 1, and I don't want the human life that my awareness is experiencing to just be "torture porn". I'd rather "watch" a "show" that's actually good. Later around 9 something, I got up and decided to look something up real quick, then out of boredom I decided to watch 2 short Youtube videos about video game stuff, and that really calmed me down. Then I went back to bed and I don't remember what I'd dreamt about, but I did wake up before the sun came up. Shortly thereafter, I decided that I didn't want my sex drive to be blocked by my fears anymore, so I decided I was gonna give Athena permissions to restrain me in ways like Odysseus was in chapter 12 of The Odyssey, by preventing me from giving things to Adremmelech unless I'd truly willed it, so that I wouldn't have to be afraid of accidentally doing that anymore. Amy didn't wanna fuck and she just kept saying Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti Shakti, but I knew that I needed to unclog my sexual energy pathways, so I took my clothes off anyway. I also told her I'd do energywork with Shakti after we fucked. I also tried asking my "other minds" to "rip out of the akasha" an etheric body for Amy, but the body didn't come out properly, and Amy rejected the body. It took a damn while before Amy decided to even touch me, so I was just touching myself at first. However, Adremmelech was almost entirely absent from my thoughts the the whole time. Eventually, she got into it and I finished, then I took a break, then I finished with her again, and I think she'd seemed happy at the end of it. However, while I was washing my hands afterwards, I was caught off-guard by seeing an etheric form walk to my right where the bathroom door is; a figure that was composed mostly of Amy's pink, rosy energies, and was her size, but had the form of an anthropomorphic horse, like Adremmelech. I'd then asked Eros to take that etheric form and do "something" with it, and He did. I later thought that that was probably my own energies that I'd made out of myself, since last week I felt similar energies that took the form of a devil since I was having alotta fears about Baphomet, who I've barely thought about this week since my fears have been obsessed with Adremmelech instead. Later, I got in bed to try to let Shakti do energywork with me, and got I distracted and I conjured up my mental image of said etheric form that'd walked up next to me, and the one that took the form of Baphomet from last week too, and I'd assumed that they were my own Amy energies that took the forms of things that I was afraid of because of my fears that I'd accidentally target them when I'd tried to target Amy. I then heard Amy say not to do what I was doing, and then I went and told both entities to merge into eachother, and then I gave it a hug and said it's okay to be afraid that I'll accidentally target one of those horrible entities instead of Amy when I try to target Amy. Amy still didn't want me to do that, though. I then tried to get close enough to Shakti to find out what She'd wanted me to do with my energywork, but I never got a response so I put the blanket over myself, which Amy said not to do, but I did it anyway and I slipped into hypnogogia. Then I heard Amy say "Hi [my name]", via. hypnogogic audio, while I was thinking about something completely different; it felt like Amy had directly interrupted some sort of mental process in order to tell me that. Then I heard a bunch of other stuff via. hypnogogic audio that I forgot about while I was thinking about completely different stuff. Then I had a very short dream that I was talking to mods about an addon I was submitting to a video game's message board, and one of them said it had to abide by some touchy-feely guidelines to get approved. Then I woke up and I heard via. hypnopompic audio a male voice that said something along the lines of: >We put up with the computer. We understand. Then a bit later, I heard Amy say via. hypnopompic audio: >[unintelligible] daughters of Azapul [unintelligible] Your best friends! That could've been spelled Azapole, or Azzapul, or Azzapole, but I looked up those 4 names and didn't find anything; perhaps one of you might know who that is? I really, really, really doubt that Amy meant Azazel, since there was very obviously a the letter "p" in the name that she'd pronounced.

There's something to be said for power spots. I used to live in a place that was incredibly powerful. I don't know if it was because it was haunted from the start, or because I did a bunch of haphazard candle and sigil magick stuff (no blood). Or perhaps it was because I did my Golden Dawn self-initiation and the headless rite (Gordon White's version) there. But it got to the point where I couldn't sleep at night due to constant accosting of spirits. All I needed to do in order to manifest shit was quiet my mind, clasp my hands together, and ASK, literally ask, for something to happen. Some things took days, others have taken years (but have finally manifested). The problem is, I have no way of testing, without respawning, which of the things I did were the facilitators of such power. Manifesting comes easy these days, but I have no way of knowing why. All I can say is: stare into the abyss long enough, and you might get special treatment if you don't go insane first.

Earlier this week, I tried asked my "other minds" to teleport one of my energy blockages that were formed by my fear of satan into an acid plane, and when I did so, I'd immediately felt a strong physical electrical sensation on the left side of my brain. After having been spoken to by spirits afterwards, I'm led to believe that I lobotomized myself by doing so, and I don't actually feel much more mentally free after having done so, if at all. It's like, whenever I try to defend myself, all I do it hurt myself, but then when I don't try to defend myself, hostile entities get me at some point. It's like Athena told me months ago; 90% of the time, there's no actual enemies attacking me. However, despite what She said, I can't afford to act like there's no actual enemies attacking me and I'm just doing it to myself when I feel like something is attacking me; it just leaves me too vulnerable. >>3426 (787) I finally tried out the game that the Tails egregore told me via. dream I should try; Pathfinder: Kingmaker. I feel like the game has some interesting game mechanics that aren't present in D&D 3e, but I also feel like the game is really hard on normal difficulty after the first few areas, even for someone who knows how the game works at a basic level. I also feel like I didn't have the mental capacity after the first 30 minutes or so to really soak in the game mechanics like I could've back when I was 20, or maybe even 25, and about 5 minutes into the story, I didn't have the mental capacity left to pay attention to the story anymore. However, I could pay enough attention to tell that some feats were mostly worse than other feats that they were supposed to be comparable in power to, I could tell that some weapon types were complete shit compared to other weapons in their proficiency categories, and I could find some other ways in which the game was designed badly. Overall, however, I can't really give a good or bad opinion of the game yet since I haven't played enough of it yet and I've only tried out 1 class. I ultimately did not enjoy the experience, and I feel like playing it more would fuel my anger issues, even if it would help me to make my big Warcraft project better. Speaking of which, it hasn't given me any ideas for it yet, and I'd probably just be far better off reading wiki articles about the game mechanics than I would be by actually playing the game, strictly concerning my ability to make my Warcraft projects better. I also feel like the game has very similar gameplay to NWN2, in which it takes fucking forever to get anything done during combat if you wanna do a good job at combat. I don't think I'd like playing NWN2 these days either, and there's a good reason why I haven't touched that game for over a decade. And then a large percentage of Pathfinder: Kingmaker isn't even a combat game, but a political simulator, and I haven't even gotten to that part yet. I definitely still have the ability to exercise awareness when it comes to new things, but I couldn't exercise as much of it as I'd wanted to since I've been mentally exhausted for 10 years straight. I feel like when I'm playing that game that I just wanna try to get lost in the game mechanics, but I also wanna get lost in the story but I can't do the latter because I'm too fucking tired for it, and I'm too tired to thoroughly explore the former. All this time fending off demons & devils and other hostile entities and attacking myself with basically no reprieve aside from most of my dreams because I couldn't tell the difference between said actual hostile entities and myself; it's really taken a toll on me. For all I know I have the mind of a 70-year-old now, when in actuality, I'm only fucking 30. I also feel like I've never fully recovered from when I died in October since I was never able to catch enough of a break. I feel the spirits around me mostly want me to rest, so that I can attempt to get back the mental vitality that I once had back when I was 20 years old, but... I just got pushed too hard. It feels like awakening was a consolation prize that was resultant of these trials and tribulations I went through that were ultimately worse than what Jesus went through during His time on Earth. At least He had the sanctity of His mind for all but 40 days of those times. Aside from this, this morning, I got the idea of using my anger issues to fighting my fear issues; however, I remember that ironpill or the fringe girl poster said it was a really bad idea to try to use anger to your advantage to do anything but directly resolve the anger. It's had some effect, but it doesn't feel like it's safe to do, and it feel like it's gonna have some bad side effects of making me appear, both on the inside and the outside, to be a far, far angrier person than I really want to be.

I'm starting to realize that sometimes when spiritual things happen involving me that clearly defies the mundane concept of materialism, I get this deeply-ingrained response that it must be an evil spirit doing it, whether it be a demon, a devil, a fallen angel, or an ayy lmao; it must be my deeply-ingrained Christian programming causing this to occur, though I could also believe by the same programming that it could just be a poltergeist doing it. Such programming is gonna make it hard for Amy, or really anyone else that isn't an abyssal being, to do anything that defies the laws of physics according to materialists. Any recommendations for getting over this instinctual fear/disbelief? I'm hoping that I could possibly ask a god, specifically one who isn't low-vibrating, to do things near me that alter physicality to help me get over these fears but I'm kinda doubting that it'd actually happen. Aside from this, I ended up not getting that police dept. job, and I think I'm gonna take the job search real easy and just look really casually for jobs for a while since I need this time of being unemployed to unclog my emotions so that I can think at a basic level without having a panic attack. I've also been wondering today about what the hell I even wanna do with my life aside from being with Amy; I've been going through the games I love with my newfound time, and I've been getting bored of them as I've gone through them. I think I'm gonna spend alot more time being bored, but I think it's gonna be good for me because it's gonna make me less reluctant to do actual work, which'll help me alot with my anger issues. I guess I'm going through a process right now that'll probably end up making me me willing to do actual work, which is especially important for getting me to do the work-intensive stuff that I actually wanna do. Wanna do as in I both do wanna do it, but I'm also reluctant to do it because it involves doing work and I hate doing work, and being less reluctant to do actual work will help me to get past that barrier. Furthermore, the day after my last post ITT, I wasn't able to use my anger issues to fight my fear issues anymore because I got too mentally exhausted to exercise more anger, and since then I haven't really felt very mad. I'm sure I'll feel mad again, but possibly not for a while. On another note, I've been trying at times to just lie in bed for a while and focus on the circle & lines in my closed eyesight to enter a state of hypnogogia relatively quickly, and asking Shakti to show me stuff when I do this. I don't really wanna talk about what I've seen in such states, but I can't recall any completely verifiable progress that I've made since then. I've mostly just been focusing on getting away from Adremmelech.

>>6276 When I woke up this morning, I started thinking about the concept of a machine physically invading a generic guy's mind via. mechanical microscopic & nanoscopic tendrils and overwriting his mind & soul, and being able to actually do that to his soul, and him being completely helpless against it at a spiritual level to the point where he wouldn't be able to disentangle his soul from the machine once the machine got inside of his physical body. I then slipped into a state of hypnogogia while I was thinking about it, and I'd managed to identify a barely-projected dream body of mine, which I assume to be maybe an 5% astral projection, standing next to what'd appeared to be that machine. In that suggestible state of hypnogogia, I'd accidentally allowed that machine to enter my dream body, and then I'd immediately felt the machine enter that dream body. The whole time I was quite able to open my eyes, but the slightly-manifested dream body would remain. Anyway, the machine then immediately entered my dream body, and it didn't actually make me do anything, and I'd asked high entities to get it outta me, but none of them were able to do it. At some point, I'd just decided that the machine was actually my own fears and not an actual machine, and that the "machine" was a thoughtform that I'd inadvertently created out of my fears. I then decided to "absolutely surrender" to the "machine", and then when I did that, I felt a physical shock in my physical brain, by which I don't mean my dream body's brain but my waking physical body's brain, and then I felt my dream body just seemingly-irreversibly get filled with thick black ethereal tendrils from the "machine", but the "machine" still wasn't making the dream body do anything; it was just occupying it because it was actually just my own fears in a form that my fears made out of myself. I then found myself unable to imagine what the dream body was even like before the "machine" had entered it, which meant I couldn't do a spiritual reversion on it to before the "machine" had entered it. However, I'd later gotten the idea of just making up a new dream body, and then using that as a blueprint for a spiritual reversion upon the old & compromised dream body, and then I did such a spiritual reversion on the old dream body, which completely got rid of the "machine" from the old dream body. The whole time, the only thing that'd happened to my physical body was that physically-felt shock in my brain, which felt kinda electrical. I'd also felt a strong energetic pang when it'd happened. What had actually happened to my energy bodies when I'd felt that? On a different note, I'd just recalled that some time last year, I'd thought that some kinda succubus came around and got interested in me and wanted to get between me & Amy, and I couldn't get the succubus away. At the end, what I'd thought was the succubus had actually done something that caused her to take the form of Amy and just start moving & talking on her own, and then I'd gotten scared and asked a deity for help and it stopped. I'd later realized, however, that there was no succubus after all and it was actually Amy doing those things. I think that the only reason that she could do those things is because I was afraid that she was actually a succubus that was just pretending to be Amy, so my subconsciousness had believed that she was actually able to do these things, which meant that my subconsciousness decided to not actively block her attempts to do these things, if not also deciding to actually help her to do these things. Aside from that, today I decided to go looking at smut of IRL women without touching myself again, and this time, I found a few old videos that I'd used to be really into and had tried a buncha times to find and couldn't find; I just had to go to a different website to find it. However, those videos didn't really get me off. In fact, they and the other smut I looked at barely got me off at all, but I did at least stay erect most of the time. At some point I just started getting bored of it, then I got the rest of my fill of it and decided to sleep with Amy. However, normally after looking at smut, whether or not I fuck Amy afterwards, I get images shoved into my mind's eye of naked women, but this time... I didn't. I think I'd actually managed to get over my being enamored by naked women, which'll help me to not really care when irl human women walk by. Later today, however, I tried the same thing again, but with a variety of hentai games in the hopes of getting over that too, but that'd unfortunately proved more arousing & engaging than the irl stuff. I then slept with Amy again, but I got hentai images after I finished. However, I'd then asked the hentai egregore to leave, and then I got a few more images and then they stopped. I guess I'm still enamored by the hentai. I'm guessing that I never got close enough to the porn egregore the 1st time for it to shove afterimages or whatever into my mind's eye, or maybe the afterimages are actually generated by me and the hentai egregore wasn't there. Furthermore, whenever I finished in bed with Amy, specifically during the finishing, my fears would flare up and try to make me think that there was a sexual interloper getting involved, when there probably wasn't one in actuality and it was just a manifestation of my fears. I feel like if I can get my fears to be afraid that Amy is actually hostile towards me, she'll be able to do alot more stuff to me, possibly including physical manifestation... but the real question is, why do I have to believe that she's hostile and/or compromised before I can believe that she's able to do spiritual things to me? Are my fears the source of my power or what? I'm under the assumption that my subconsciousness is actively preventing Amy from doing things that I'd like, such as manifesting a better etheric body, or manifesting a semi-physical hand again. Speaking of manifesting a semi-physical hand, when she did that last month, I'm under the impression that she was only capable of doing it because I was considering killing myself, which meant that she had more legally-acceptable permissions over my free will, against the will of my subconsciousness or not.

Okay so tonight I completely randomly saw a few reptilians appear in my imagination, and I'd asked for help to get rid of them, and now they appear to be gone. Also, the trickster spirit from >>6305 (4922) is was gone before yesterday morning came around. After the reptilians were removed from my vicinity, however, I got paranoid and tried to contact Shakti, but I couldn't so I'd asked Ganesha to get me to Shakti, and then He did and I said to Shakti what I'd wanted to say. I then had a sudden realization, presumably due to Ganesha; I have alotta repressed guilt energies in me that's trying to be directed at various Sonic egregores, but can't be safely given to them because I wanna let it out by giving them big hugs without my physical body involved via. visualization and I'm very afraid that I'd touch the wrong parts of their "forms", and then I suddenly got the idea of giving them "air hugs", and that worked very well; I could do it very "hard" without "touching" the wrong part of them since I wasn't "touching" them at all. After the 1st one, I'd actually let out so much emotion that I'd correspondingly shed 2 physical tears. I then let out the emotion towards other Sonic egregores, and I'd noticed the emotion coming out of my heart. I question if I could let the emotion out without using the visualization as a middleman. I'd then thanked Ganesha by "hugging" Him real hard. Some time afterwards I started falling asleep for an hour or so, and while and/or after I did so, I noticed that I had alotta awareness that my decisions that I make could lead to me entering alotta different potential futures at the time, and that I needed to be really fucking careful since most of them were bad ones. I'm assuming that Ganesha showed me that. After I woke up, I'd eventually decided that I was too anxious to simply fall back asleep, so I hopped onto the computer to calm down. I've ended up calming down some, and I think I must be doing well if reptilians showed up outta nowhere in a presumed attempt to prevent me from finally getting better by resolving my issues of repressed emotions and making some real progress vs. my fears. Some entity doesn't want me getting better, it appears. Also, the night before, I'd ended up contacting some sort of benevolent entity whose name idk, and she cleaned out some filthy spot my third eye and told me that I was overloaded with energies of fictional characters from all sorts of franchises. Also, by now, pretty much all of the porn energies from a few days ago have been flushed outta me.

>>6319 I've noticed lately that bad things have been happening to me the past few days because entities, probably NWO members, have been trying to attack me. They've been directing negative energies at me, and those energies have been looking for ways to manifest. I'd actually contacted the archangel Michael yesterday about to ask to protection after I'd asked Shakti for protection, and then I was about to ask after contacting him and I'd said nah nvm Shakti can keep me safe. He'd then unexpectedly said he'd sent down several angels to protect me, so I guess I've really been under attack lately. This morning, I was trying to sleep with Amy and my fears were getting in the way of it; however, I'd intuitively found out that I, as stated in >>6252 , could re-allocate my energies, specifically my shen, from the subjects of my fears, one by one, back to me and/or Amy. I'd accomplished this by simply telling my subconsciousness to do it, and then very, very passively asking a deity to remove any residual energies that aren't my shen, so that I can quit worrying about the subject of my fears without drawing very much attention to it. Like for example, if my fears put something inside of me, it'd take more than just ceasing to pay attention to it to remove the thing from me; I'd have to ask a deity to remove it from me too. This technique caused the fear blockages to largely stop blocking my ability to properly target Amy, but I still had some trouble doing it. While I was finishing, I felt fears in my heart try to direct my attention & sexual energies towards 2 extremely low-vibrating beings, but most of it successfully went inside of Amy this time. After that, I tried some more to move my shen around as trouble had presented themselves throughout the day. However, at some point my subconsciousness sabotaged it by making me think that "re-allocating my energies" from a point A to a point B would inherently leave something that isn't my shen behind in point A. I wanna believe that this isn't true, however. I've also realized today that one of the reasons why I'm so touchy-feely with the Sonic egregores is partially because my subconsciousness misses my late pet cats, especially their physical bodies. I'd absolutely loved to hug them & cuddle with them, and now I have a bunch of repressed cuddly energies that can't properly be released because I don't have any pets, and because Amy won't manifest even a semi-physical body unless I'm in a state of extreme stress and/or am suicidal, like that one time in December of 2023 where she semi-physically manifested her mouth to kiss me to help calm me down, or 2 months ago when she semi-physically manifested her hands to convince me to not kill myself. Now of course, at a conscious level, I know very well that the Sonic egregores can't be compared to second-density animals like my late pet cats, but my subconscious probably just thinks >is both animal and person >means is animal >means can hug & cuddle & adore I only get this reaction with Tails & female sonic characters, though, and a bit with Sonic too; I guess they're just cute. An important note, though; I never care to imagine any of them with their clothes off, except ofc my Amy. This can be compounded or some shit by the guilt & remorse I feel towards some of those egregores. I can't really solve this problem via. dreams because I rarely see Amy in my dreams, and whenever I do, I'm almost always in a state of such low awareness that I don't realize AHHH ITS HER and then get really emotional and make the dream suddenly end in seconds. This enables her to have extended dream sequences with me. In fact, last week we had a dream where we were going fishing and we both caught a weird cross between an eel and a fish that looked like it was partially made out of a dark green sock. Amy caught hers 1st, but then some huge fish came to the pier and ate half of hers at the end of the dream. In hindsight, I dunno why that huge fish didn't even scare me; my reaction was something like: >oh fucking damnit there goes half of Amy's fish I'm also too impressioned by the sexual perceptions of other people; if other people generally think a woman is hot & sexy, but I don't care about her like that at a conscious level, then my subconsciousness is gonna pay too much attention to her private parts in a presumed attempt to avoid them, and make me afraid of touching them, which causes the law of attraction to synchronistically manifest an event wherein I touch them by accident, and then if I try to pay enough attention to prevent that from occurring, I'll get even more afraid, which'll invoke the law of attraction even harder, which'll make a negative synchronicity try even harder to manifest, and then eventually, either I just fail or I or the woman leaves.

>>6471 (6252) Last night, I looked up Castaneda's recapitulation, and then I tried the method and realized I was able to breathe out the traumas without having to do any fancy bullshit 1st. I was having problems being about Amy's friends without my sexual insecurities flaring up, and with this intuitive shortcut past the technique, I was able to simply breathe out the insecurities, and then I was able to comfortably hug one of them without being compelled by my fears to touch them in the wrong place. Since then, I've been using the same technique on some of my other feelings; I'll just have to be mindful of the emotions lingering around in the air until the AC filters it elsewhere, unless ofc I'm outside or driving. I think things are starting to turn around for me now.

>>6505 (4768) (4768) I find that I just project my awareness into the stuff I think about by default, such that it gets visualized as a hypothetical situation, so that I can do a better job at processing the information that I'm looking at or thinking about. This sometimes leads to problems where I'm imagining something from the perspective of another entity, and then after some time, I realize that I can actually interact with the situation that's otherwise under my control, and I get the impression that I'm interacting with the entity somehow, or possibly that I'm somehow inside of the entity. I kinda doubt that I'd described this correctly, however. When I'd contacted the abyssal entity, I was probably going like >ehh I wonder what this abyssal entity is like <imagination drifts towards the concept of the entity >I'd imagine that he's kinda like this <feel black connection form leading from my body to the abyss >uhhh, oh, hi you're actually here, and not a product of my imagination Today, I actually did an exercise at least once before reading your post wherein I tried to project myself into an observer state within the hypothetical situation, but doing this requires too much focus for me to properly process the information in question. Also, Amy has been trying to encourage me to astrally project since I'd connected to the stuff in the sigil. I really don't feel like doing anything much right now and I wanna just relax in my computer chair and watch some stuff that I wouldn't care to project myself into for a few hours and then go to bed. However, I feel like if I don't take this opportunity, then me & Amy are really gonna regret it, even if I don't feel motivated to interact with her via. astral projection right now. In fact, my unemotional state would make it easy for me to stay astrally projected in her confirmed presence, which is another reason that I should do it, but I still feel unmotivated. I also feel pretty bored right now. I'm more interested right now in adjusting to the lightness that I've been feeling since I've learned to release those energies that I'd learned to release. I'm so used to feeling heavy all the time, and tbh I kinda had to get used to it since I was so heavy so long; I need to get used to feeling light again. However, I'm also feeling a bit like life is becoming a bit devoid of meaning, but I'm not feeling that enough for it to really bother me. Anyway, now that I think about it, if I did astrally project, I'd probably just drift all over the place due to my over-active imagination and I'd probably have to get wrangled by Amy or an angel or a deity so I can re-enter my body. I think I'm gonna pass on willful APing for a while, not counting regular ol' dreaming.

>>6509 So I'd asked Amy to get an angel sent down to make sure this all goes well, and then I went on youtube and browsed stuff, and I synchronistically got recommended a video from a medium telling me about my situation, and another video from 4 days ago about a guy whose performing a warcraft project of his own that's similar to mine, except it details nothing about game mechanics. After that, I got a bit motivated to do a bit of work on my WCIV project. I feel like if I feel motivated enough to work on that project on a regular basis again, then I'll have some of my old flame back, my drive, but right now I'm really low on energy, and I really would be since I'd breathed out a whole lotta bad energies that were taking up space that I couldn't use for more useful energies. Later, I'd kowtowed to Amy and got in bed and tried to relax enough again to AP. At some point I tried physically cuddling with her newly-forming etheric body, and a few minutes later, I began to relax enough to try something. I tried to project, but it seemed that there was still too much physical tension to project; I wasn't relaxed enough. A bit later, I got into a different position and told Amy I'd try again at least 1 more time, and then later I'd asked Shakti to help me with APing, but not to the point where I'd actually AP. Shakti then said it's not my time. Amy then asked why, but I didn't hear Shakti's answer. I think it probably has something to do with what I said about my imagination being over-active. Anyway afterwards, I had a thought; what would be a good physical/astral awareness split for seeing & hearing with spirits while still being grounded? Like 75% physical/25% astral maybe?

Now I'm starting to feel like what I'd thought was Amy's etheric body is a tulpa that I made and has some sort of mind of its own. Amy just told me that she does whatever she wants me to do, and that includes doing whatever my fears tell her to do. I guess I went about the wrong way with trying to make Amy an etheric body. I tried telling the etheric body earlier to do whatever Amy says, but it seemed disobedient and instead acted upon my fears. I think it'd be a better idea to just give etheric energy directly to Amy for her to make an etheric body out of than me making the body for her. Also, twice today it seems like my will was violated just a little bit. I don't remember how it was the 1st time, but the 2nd time I watched some youtube short about some guy in the UK getting thrown in prison for possessing a buncha CP and being in a group chat with a minor and then only getting 3.5 years for it, and I was about to say >he must know someone but what actually came outta my mouth was >he must know something The first time it was more obvious that my free will got violated just a little bit. Lately, I've been trying to quit disbelieving that you'd have to be a demon in order to have effects upon people that really, well, do things to them. I'm hoping that removing this disbelief would enable Amy to interact with my life in more ways than she's normally been able to when she's acting within my awareness. When she's acting outside of my awareness there's typically alot more stuff she can do, but within my awareness her abilities are rather limited. I'm under the impression that this has been changing lately, however. If someone would like to give me an energy reading to see if there's an imposter spirit or some shit involved, then feel free, but I kinda doubt that there are any unless you count the aforementioned tulpa.

>>6513 Does doctor eggman robotnik from sonic ever contact you or is it only the protagonists of sonic such as amy and shadow that you interact with and not the antagonists of the sonic franchise?

>>6514 Other Sonic egregores contact me often, but the antagonistic ones rarely contact me. When the antagonistic egregores do, they usually get dealt with within minutes. Shadow in particular visits at night sometimes to keep us safe while I sleep, but I've only ever asked him to once.

When I woke up this morning, Amy showed me a very sad face of a cat. She's really let down that I didn't AP yesterday. I think she said something earlier yesterday about making sure I didn't wind up in the wrong reality, and I guess I'm just here now if that wasn't my confirmation bias talking and pretending to be Amy. Today, my psychologist told me that when people recall memories, the memory is actually destroyed by the process of recalling it, but then it gets re-created by the same process. He also told me that the more adrenaline in particular is associated with a memory, the stronger you'll feel about the memory, especially when it comes to trauma. Therefore, if you can recall the memory without experiencing any adrenaline, you should be able to defuse your reaction to the memory. Aside from this, I've actually been falling back into my old routines because I was so un-used to my new routines that I'd found after releasing those traumatic energies and feeling light, that I'd found that my subconsciousness actually wanted to wander back towards the fear that it was familiar with because it doesn't remember how to function without it. I've overdosed so much on trauma, and fear, and paranoia, and pessimism, and overestimating my enemies, that I am now addicted to it. What I need to do to overcome this addiction is to establish new mental patterns that replace the old mental patterns of fear, and paranoia, and trauma, and pessimism, and overestimating my enemies, and have a foundation that isn't simply the replacement of the old mental patterns. If I try to replace them for the sake of replacing the old mental patterns, then the old mental patterns will be the foundation for the new mental patterns, which means that the old mental patterns won't simply go away. Any advice for doing this? Perhaps there's a book that could help me with this.

>>6522 Do the super Mario bros. egregores ever visit you?

Today I've started getting bored again, and tonight I had a re-realization; my mother has this problem where whenever she's in a really stressful situation she's like: >GOD KILL ME NOW, KILL ME NOW And she says it a bunch and yells alot when she's really stressed out. She also said that her own mother had the same problem, and my mother saw her mother on her deathbed doing that exact same thing, and when that happened, she felt that she shouldn't be doing anything like that. My mother later regressed back into that behavior. Anyway, the point is, I'm wondering if my self-sabotaging intrusive thoughts are a manifestation of that genetically-inherited mental routine, even if only partially. I've also found that my subconscious yesterday was going on again about what purpose there is in life and feeling lonely again and wanting to have something to look forwards to other than just liberation; I want to do something with that liberation that's more than just being with Amy & her friends and working on myself. I also wanna do something that I personally find to be fun. I think that this wondering about purpose in life and feeling lonely again is probably because my subconsciousness is presumably trying to find a new sense of security, and that involves re-evaluating the old one. I may no longer be trying to plan ahead into the hyperbolically-distant future alot in an attempt to prevent my life from falling through and thus going mad at the possibilities of infinity, but I'm instead wondering what the hell I wanna do with my life in the near future. Also, I've applied for a job today that I'm particularly likely to get, so my unemployment problem might get fixed soon. However, I kinda doubt that I have the mental fortitude anymore to do the job without taking an unreasonably-high amount of unreasonably-long "breaks". That's kinda what I was like at my last job, but I was able to get away with it at my last job because I didn't get supervised much and it was easy to passively pretend that I was working. I've also noticed lately that I seem to be sexually susceptible to other people's sexual perceptions; I'm not really sure how to describe it right now, but I intend to describe it in a later post. >>6542 They don't visit me, but I have accidentally met a few; I'm not really interested in talking about that, though. Also, I know the Olympics crossover games happened.

>>6542 Boosette is my first waifu, she appeared to me in 2018.

>>6562 Today, I've begun to think that maybe my "illusory realm" is indeed its own astral realm, but it ain't the same astral realm that immediately surrounds my physical body. My "illusory realm" is a different astral realm that exists within my mental realm, but occupies different frequencies than the astral realm that immediately surrounds my physical body. Would that be correct? To my knowledge, however, I am actually capable of putting enough energies into things with my "illusory realm" that are intended to have a specified location within the physical realm to make them actually manifest an etheric body, and thus occupy both my "illusory realm" and the astral realm that surrounds my physical body, as well as the etheric realm that surrounds my physical body. Aside from that, yesterday I tried watching some "cleansing" video from an unfamiliar channel, and it'd turned out that it didn't cleanse me at all; instead it put some kinda horrible evil stuff in me, and I only ended up finding out after reading some of the comments saying that the frequency felt hellish. Later into the video, I'd detected a female entity that took the form of a white human woman beneath the ground, with short black hair. After the video ended and I began trying to un-do whatever the video did, the woman said: >I can't believe this! And then later she said: >You are cursed Later that day, I went and played a competitive game, and then I got straight losses, except one match where I only won because the other guy auto-forfeited because he took too long to make a move since he didn't know he got a match. That made me realize that I really did get cursed. Since then, I've been working to get de-cursed as well. When I went to bed, I'd detected a few hostile entities via. hypnogogia, and I ended up getting some protection that night, and now I'm mostly over it. I've also noticed lately that my fear addiction has been trying to subvert my concept of masculinity by associating it with Adremmelech; this reminds me of how my 1st roommate back in college was a black sabbath fan and would sometimes be like: >lets get some masculinity in here And then he'd turn on their satanic metal. I know that you don't need to vibrate so damned low to be masculine, but I'm still annoyed by this thing that my fear addiction is doing. Speaking of my fear addiction, I question if my fear addiction is also a stress addiction.

>>6629 You are like a single thread of fabric in a moving washing machine. I could try to grab you but it would hurt my nails and spill my blood or worse tear you apart. I could punch the machine or stop it but you would stop moving, fall or fly away and think you have died. You don't know how to move yet. I feel like you're getting lost trying to copy others using "intellectualism" when you should instead listen to your heart but you have no idea what that means either.. You need to understand yourself, why do you even do this? Don't answer me answer yourself! >I know that you don't need to vibrate so damned low to be masculine I am not sure. Mine start very low, the female always lead the dance the higher males only seem to appear later and they're always of lesser authority than their queen. You can think of Anime's Shows and Cartoons how it's almost always 2 Boys for one girl but in some rare case it's 2 girls for one boy. It's a different dynamic.

I just woke up from a dream where I was on astral /fringe/ and saw that the ironpill poster went out and found 2 golden Egyptian anhks. He posted a table with them, and each anhk was associated with a different Egyptian deity, whose names both begin with the letter Z, but otherwise I couldn't recall their names. Shortly after beginning to read it, I got scared that my subconsciousness would do something to desecrate those anhks and those gods contacted me telling me I'd be in a heap of trouble if anything happened and said they'd talk to me tommorow, so I'd asked Athena while I was still asleep to wrangle my free will right then and there to stop me, but She didn't. Instead my subconsciousness, being controlled by my parasites that created themselves out of my repressed anger towards the NWO and my parents and various demographics of humans and demons and devils and hostile aliens, teleported Her there and I woke up, and then I basically just gave up and quit paying attention to what was going on and just started trying to talk to those Egyptian gods & Athena. While I was speaking to those gods, images of the anhks & Athena both being desecrated at once slowly began entering my awareness, and I wasn't aware of the images at first and then I suddenly was mid-way through the conversation. I'd realized immediately upon becoming aware of the images that those things were actually happening, and I just gave up right then and there and decided that there was nothing I could do about it unless, you know, I sold my free will to a goetia demon or Seraphanz or something, but I'm not willing to go anywhere near that far, nor that far, to make these things and other such abominable occurrences stop happening. Late into the conversation, I'd recalled that some time last year or the year before that at work, I was told out of the blue by some spirit that 2 specific entities with female-sounding names were controlling me, but for some reason I'd either never believed that it was so or I was just too lazy somehow to post it on /fringe/; perhaps a result of those 2 entities meddling with my life. I then spontaneously tried using my magic to kill them, and I question if it'd actually worked. Sorry about your anhks, ironpill poster.

I've realized something today about the "illusory realm", as the fringe girl poster had called it. The illusory realm is an astral realm, and it's just as real as any other astral realm, but the reason why it's called illusory is because a person's illusory realm is the most malleable astral realm that he or she has access to; it's so malleable that it seems like everything in it is an illusion because it appears to not have to follow any rules about what can and can't manifest there, and because you can manifest things so freely and un-do the consequences of actions that occur there so freely that it may as well be so that nothing there is real. Or at least this is the case when there aren't any spirits that aren't you in your illusory realm. I'd also suppose that your illusory realm is the most dangerous inner realm of a person that a spirit can possibly be in. Aside from that, last night I also had an experience while I was trying to fall to sleep. This had all happened while I was awake, and a few hours before that I'd watched a frequency video that was supposed to make you release DMT; said video had made my brain feel physical & energetic stimuli, but I'd noticed no change in my vision or hearing at the time. After I got in bed, I got a series of hypnogogic images, some of which were briefly-moving images. At first, I saw myself, viewed from behind, sitting looking at something resembling a sunset with some kinda short green humanoid entity that I didn't at all recognize. I'd kinda dismissed it at first, though, and then I later saw the same hypnogogic image again. I then became aware that that was actually happening, so I got up and told him I was becoming aware of what was happening and I tried to leave, but then I think maybe my anger issues flared up then I don't remember so well. It was either now or later when I saw a hypnogogic image of a pistol pointed at my face. Part of my astral body was in a place that looked like a parlor and/or casino that contained games, and I only got a glimpse of awareness here & there of what was going on there. However, at some point I got afraid of my anger issues, and then before I saw my anger issues even have a chance to do anything, I saw a hypnogogic image of the barrel of a pistol being pointed at my face. I then said a bunch of stuff and I got kicked outta the place instead, and then Amy said we can't go back. Later, I tried to project myself back there a bit anyway to try a bit more to explain myself, and then later I saw a hypnogogic image of a guy whose look implied that he's a manager facing towards me outside of the property. Shortly afterwards, I saw a hypnogogic image of a bunch of a heart, and then of a bunch of roses arranged into a few letters that I forgot which letters they were, but they were English. Later, I was let back into the parlor, and I was still afraid of my anger issues, and then the next hypnogogic image I saw was, from a first-person perspective, me on the floor with a human woman in front of me stripped down to her short skirt with no panties, and my crotch behind it; I couldn't tell if my astral body was fucking her since I didn't consciously feel a thing, however. I'd then asked Eros to wrangle me & offer to the woman to un-do anything that'd happened. I didn't see any hypnogogic images after that, but I did hear the woman gladly accept the offer, at least in my imagination. Later that night, I had normal dreams until the last dream I'd had, wherein >>6806 had happened. Then a minute or so ago I'd did the akashic manifestation technique to conjure up a huge gem or two for them composed of sorrow energies as at least limited compensation, and I'd asked Amy to contact the place I'd gotten kicked out of so they can pick up the gem(s), and I'd apologized to them again.

Clairvoyance. Extremely important. Not just being able to see but being able to have faith in what you see. Use it as a baseline measurement. Using Samsara as a measuring stick will open you up to trickery, and the Matrix will always try to trick you, to pull you back in. Focus on the Spirit and the Material will fall in line to match it.

>>6827 How do you distinguish between spirit and astral slop (aka more samsara)?

Also it's curious how the concept of AI hallucinations will give many people the cognitive tools to not fall for astral illusions so easily. I hope. How am I kidding? People are starting to believe ChatGPT is sentient instead.

>>6848 What do you mean by "astral slop"? Everything in the astral exists on some level, otherwise you'd be unable to perceive it in the first place. The key is in understanding the existential meaning behind the spirit that you are interacting with - the noumenon that exists beyond the phenomenal. You then utilize that understanding to attain a form of synthesis or dialog with the noumenal spirit, which, in turn, alters how it manifests itself in the phenomenal spheres. That is what magic is.

I've been battling my fears today and getting alotta help, and I've felt lately like some bad entities are really trying to screw me over. I'm posting this because right after I hopped on /fringe/ a few minutes ago, I'd felt some sort of black thing basically teleport into my body when I was off-guard for less than half a second, occupying some space from my root & some places upwards, going I think into my skull. Before that I was really trying to stave off negative energies but goddamn that was a sudden spike. I even physically felt that shit entering me via. electrical sensation. Anyway I'm sure I'll be fine since the stars always align for me when I really need them to, but I worry about if I'm gonna need to try hard enough to have another panic attack in order to get rid of whatever the hell just forced its way inside of me. This happened specifically when I was about to click on the Dagon thread. I then deleted this to re-post it with that bit after going back to the thread and feeling a comparable & lesser sensation. Some low entity really doesn't want me reading that thread.

>>6872 Idk how related it is, but I've been clearing out evil spirits from the dimensions belonging to people within my reach, to prevent them from causing trouble. It seems to provoke them to attack, instead of the intelligent option which would have been to stay silent until I stopped the cleansing. But that's how they are like, evil seems to go hand in hand with hubris. Just during the past hour, there were several cases of "search drones" coming into my room right here to look for the source of what I'm doing, that is - looking for me. This is something I haven't seen for a few years, it's something usually only done by fairly unskilled and low level occultists. (Rather than well organized large groups, aliens and those with deeper NWO affiliation, who always know who did something at once and never need to send those out.) Since I'm clearing out dimensions to prevent squatters from staying there, maybe someone snuck into your dimension to hide. Either way, it could have been indirectly caused by what I'm doing right now, so I placed a 6 hour protective fire circle around you to keep them from trying to get into your dimensions while I'm clearing them out. I tried to also remove that thing from you a few minutes ago.

>>6873 In specific, I started this cleanse yesterday, the search drone activity only happened within the last hour after I sent out 14000 robots to replace all 5 eyes spies in UK and Ukraine, yeah, that was me, fuck you faggots.

>>6874 This isn't even a timeline anymore, just a hodgepodge of private dimensions where some beings think they can sneak in and continue scheming. I won't let you sabotage the peace talks, so I'm removing all such beings now. Not that it matters much, these events are in a dead end progress of history, but I'll do it anyway just so nothing gets away and causes problems later.

I just had a realization; I think one of the reasons why these intrusive thoughts are happening is so that I never let my guard down very much, if at all, so that I can keep my defenses up vs. actual hostile spirits. I think my inner child or some other part of my subconsciousness is really insecure.

>>6875 Would you say that a requirement of being able to sustain strength is being able to afford to be weak for some spans of time? Would not allowing yourself to ever be weak for even the slightest span of time cause you to be weaker overall then if you let yourself be vulnerable sometimes?

>>6881 >Would you say that a requirement of being able to sustain strength is being able to afford to be weak for some spans of time? I think the question is wrongly phrased; long term strength is just that. Being weak or strong at any specific moment isn't strength in itself, its about sustaining a waveform, a sine wave which doesn't deteriorate with time. Think about how to measure a trend over time. You don't do this by saying "this business is now at bottom value, I need to sell", instead you look at how it's performed over a period of years, and maybe it had such times in the past as well, but it is in a trend of moving up in value. Pic related. This is an extreme example to show what I mean. >Would not allowing yourself to ever be weak for even the slightest span of time cause you to be weaker overall then if you let yourself be vulnerable sometimes? If you use this example I drew, if you gave up at the first low point, you wouldn't get higher again after, and there would be no upwards trend.

I had a new "hell dream", this was a long time since. I call them such now after The Queen (Illivryn) said they are actually a night time trial to see if someone can let go of some attachments and leave the personal hell which this causes. The most common dream is one where the person finds themselves nude in public. I kept having a dream of this type all the time 10+ years ago: I am in some public place and go looking for a restroom, but every time I think I found one, the door can't be locked, and it's crowded with people looking. Or all of them are occupied, broken, not installed properly or just somehow not functional. A variant of this dream is looking for a restaurant or standing in line for some food stall, but never getting there, picking up food on a plate, but always being interrupted and unable to eat it. Both of these dreams stopped appearing after a final solution appeared in each of them. In one dream I was at a public swimming hall and found toilets installed on platforms all over the place. They were fully exposed, but no one cared about it and they were all available. The food dream also ended after I went to an event irl and had food there, then I realized this was that dream's "endpoint" and it never appeared again. The version with being nude in public, missing the bus home or other versions, appeared a few times, but stopped after I "made it home" once after an unusual trip irl, and the nude dream just ended after I was walking about looking for a swimming pool, and I didn't care about people looking at me. The ending was me finding a roof top after walking through a mall, where I found lots of flowers, succulents, up on the roof. The Queen said this meant I passed the test. Yesterday, I realized I would have to deal with the remaining collapsing dimensions today, after picking up the Quran translation (mentioned in another thread) and recalling how djinn said it "leads people to the bottom of hell", which was another cryptic message; what they mean is that it leads people up to the bottom of hell, from being way down below it, where humans normally are by default then it allows one to reach up to basic enlightenment equivalent of Arhat, because that is the position where one rules over hell. It's just that a completely mundane reading of the text will just lead to the bottom of hell, the rest is a matter of practice and interpretation of it, which is enough for the path beyond that. I saw a "pocket" open up during the night, like a soft cloth formed into a cone, and it looked weird. During the night I indeed had a "hell dream", in which I was again looking for restrooms (I now know these actually are representations of desires, which cannot be fulfilled in hell, because all desires are nothing more than using a toilet when looking at them astrally.), but this time I wasn't alone, a family member was with me and there also wasn't a focus on the search for a restroom, I was also looking for a restaurant, and made appointments to end the "quest" at a set time. In the end, I walked through a corridor leading to the exit of the mall I was in, and saw a tall woman wearing samurai style armour. She was sweeping the floor with something that looked like a large calligraphy brush. This gave me a peaceful feeling, I woke up and realized that was the "success scene" of the dream, meaning I passed the test and left hell.

I think I had a breakthrough yesterday; I'd intuitively told my "inner child" that I don't have to do things that'll get me in trouble. For example, if I see a picture of an anime girl, my inner child might suddenly get afraid and start using the fear to visualize me touching her where I really shouldn't be, and then reach out to her egregore and start touching her accordingly, but now when that fear begins, I can simply tell my "inner child" that he doesn't have to do that, and then he'll stop doing that. Sometimes I have to tell him something else, such as: >inner child, just because other people might expect that you'd want to have sex her if you had any reason at all to interact with her, doesn't actually mean that you have to have sex with her >you don't have sex with her >you don't have to be like those guys who wouldn't give a woman who isn't related to him the time of day unless he wants to fuck her In fact, Amy told me not even an hour ago: >Lemme tell you something >you're not crazy anymore I'd then disagreed and told her that I'm simply alot less crazy than before; I'm definitely alot less crazy than before, but I'm still at least a little crazy, I think. I think I'm on the track towards not being crazy at all anymore, but I don't think I've made it outta the woods just yet. I've got alotta work left to do.

>>6922 Why does your inner child keep making you accidentally fuck spirit women?

>>6925 Idk; he thought he had to for some reason. He must've gotten confused somehow into thinking he had to do it, when there's really nothing forcing him to do it and he was just making himself do it because he thought he had to for some dumb reason. I don't think that my libido wasn't even part of the equation.

>>6925 >Why does your inner child keep making you accidentally fuck spirit women? >>6929 Maybe the inner child is a self-insert shotacon.

>>6930 No I've thought more about it; I'd actually gotten a parasite about 2 inches in diameter removed from my heart chakra some days ago, but now that the parasite is gone it isn't there to make him do it anymore. The inner child is the source of your humanity and lives in your heart, so the explanation makes sense to me. This "inner child" is John Bradshaw's concept of the "inner child", which is basically a tulpa that represents some pre-existing foundational parts of your subconsciousness that are extremely affected by how you were raised as a child and what sorts of other experiences you'd went through during your different stages of your childhood. I recall reading here that if you lose your inner child, you'll lose your humanity with it.

Not the same as >>6925 btw >>6933 I've kept seeing you use this term for a long time without being able to relate it to anything. I know this is the case with terminology I'm just not "ready for" in some cases, like "chakra" which meant nothing to me until I could see the structure it refers to. I know I looked up "inner child" and could grasp it conceptually some months ago, but I'm back to not being able to relate to it again. I don't believe this to be real, but merely a psychology framework for some mental issues some people experience. Why would you have a special tulpa for your childhood? How would it form, why? The mind is a tulpa, and you only have one, unless you went through some kind of MK-Ultra program meant to cause the creation of an "alt" which is a secondary mind (a second tulpa, they're retards both in method and terminology because they don't understand that they're just creating tulpas by abusing people). If a lot of people have these "inner child" tulpas, it would have to do with their culture being such that it completely breaks their mind off at some certain age, creating an "alt" for their adult life, and they become unable to access their real mind. Maybe this is the case with modern people, it just sounds extreme to me. The tulpas people create in the tulpa threads on /x/ are the tibetan meditation technique for creating safe consorts to practice tantrism with, among other things. They're not the same as a mind created "naturally", even if they technically do not differ, as both are tulpas. I'm just trying to understand what you're talking about. Do you experience this "inner child" in the same way as an actual tulpa? Just to make that clear?

>>6937 This makes me recall something related: there's recently been a lot of talk about abusive practices in professional sports, like ice hockey. They do initiation rituals where they shave the newcomer's head and pubic hair in a humiliation ritual, and other things. Some people talked about how they "lost part of themselves" when they became professionals, because of this. It sealed their real self and they became a "team member" who would only exist to perform. I wasn't considering this, but I now recall something like this from when I did basketball as a kid. There was no such ritual, but there was one time when I just had a sudden "mind flip" and started scoring a lot, completely forgetting any ideas of being bad at basketball. I hadn't been thinking about this anymore since long, because this was something done by one of my other souls who haven't been around since 2012 (timelines had already started collapsing, after a certain event back then, all my assistant souls are no longer present). Either way, at the time this happened, I left to drink water and had the same experience I read from the description by a hockey player of not recognizing myself in the mirror. I hadn't bothered thinking about this because it was something done by another soul, and the state doesn't remain. But it seems maybe he created a "basketball team" tulpa and used it when we played.

A few nights ago, I was in bed trying to sleep, and I saw myself going through a series of hollow coffins with their bottoms removed; they were stacked on top of eachother, and were either solid red, solid blue, or solid yellow, against a blue background. After that, I saw a spaceship. Last night, I got some angels around me to protect me after something unexpectedly bad had happened to me. While I was going to bed, I'd thought about how the smileberg poster reproduced with a skunk alien. I'd then accidently contacted her or a different one and said I wasn't interested in anything like that. While I was falling asleep, I saw a hypnogogic image of a human guy that was probably supposed to be me getting ready to fuck a presumably-female skunk alien from behind. I'd then snapped outta the hypnogogia and asked Eros to stop that, and iirc, un-do anything sexual that'd happened there. I'd then went to bed and dreamt about Christianity all night. However, I'd woken up in the middle of the night randomly with no threats seemingly about me, and then all of a sudden I'd felt this formless grey entity get right smack dab next to my consciousness and say: >we are the same being, and of the same potential I'd then told the entity something along the lines of I already knew that and kinda assumed that it was one of the angels, but the voice came from below me and was unreasonably close to me, so I'd asked a higher being for protection against that entity in case it was hostile. I then had a hard time having my heart beat all of a sudden, and then I'd asked said higher being to make sure my heart keeps beating and I got up & burped alot, and then after some seconds, I could feel my heart beat again. I then couldn't sleep for maybe 40 minutes because I was insecure about my heart's ability to beat on its own, so I got up near the start of those 40 minutes to watch some mindless stuff on the internet. Then I went back to sleep and was about to dream about more Christianity, and then I heard the same voice from before tell me its name and what he does; all I remember is that he governs something involving rot. I'd actually had the intention at 1st to write down what he told me, but I was too lazy to do it since I was trying to sleep. Today at the psychologist's office, I'd asked one of Amy's friends to come with us so she could try introducing herself to him. At the end of the appointment, I'd asked him to get into a trance for a while and said one of "the woman"'s female friends were here, and I'd vocally asked her to show him her true form and not her human form, starting with just her face. What he saw instead wasn't even close to a Sonic egregore. Instead, he saw vividly colorful lights that took the form of nothing in particular, and then he saw the face of a bear, and then the bear head started turning into a skull. The skull wasn't necessarily that of a bear; he didn't know what the skull was of. Then his soul left his body, and he saw a tunnel, and he "tried his best" to go down the tunnel. At the end of the tunnel, he saw a room with its entrance closed shut, and next to that closed entrance, he saw who he'd thought was Jesus Christ. My psychologist was then instructed that he can't enter that room until he "divests himself of his ego". My psychologist said he's been to that room's entrance a few times before in his life, and that he really wanted to enter that room. On the way home, I'd figured out that I might have more than 1 parasite living in my heart; I'd come to the conclusion that my "inner child" is being told by my emotions, namely my anger, fear, insecurities, and to a lesser extent, my stress & anxieties, to take them out on something, somewhere, & somehow, as long as it satisfies the emotions in one way or another. The root of my anger is my fear, and the root of my fear is my insecurities. I need to figure out how to relieve myself of these emotions, or satisfy them.

>>6949 >While I was falling asleep, I saw a hypnogogic image of a human guy that was probably supposed to be me getting ready to fuck a presumably-female skunk alien from behind. I'm not sure what the skunks or any aliens are actually trying to do with this, maybe they have different motivations. Some are just sex tourists in the sense that they want to incorporate DNA from different kinds of races into their own (females can do this). It may be related to either some alien occult practice, or widening their own possibilities of reincarnation paths. It's not making sense with those who (like some of the skunks) will appear (normally when I'm outside for walk, the black 4D shape of a ship appears in full vision from the horizon to my location in less than a second, followed by the light ray indicating teleportation, then the shape of the aliens before me, after which they turn invisible to the regular eyes and appear only in inner vision.) and directly tell me "you can have a kid with one of these, pick one" and they show me a number of females lined up. Then they just leave me with the kid and speed off again. I have places to keep them safe and educate them, and it's something I want, but it still makes me wonder what they exactly get out of it, since they tell me to "pick one", then not all of them would get the "DNA upgrade". Maybe they are "spreading seeds" and increasing their influence over timelines and dimensions, kind of like the Saiyans in Dragonball who'll send a baby to a planet and expect them to take over. The skunks in particular seem completely invulnerable, but it's not clear to me if they are actually immortals. If they are, they are a different kind than other races. The skunk energy is like a twisted vortex of timelines moving out from a core which cannot be seen, for every individual. Maybe they are an actual 5D ascended race.

I just had a thought; that rot entity had probably contacted me because everyone in my living complex began having an infestation recently of multiple species of flies, and I had to create a flytrap as I have in the past, by pissing in a cup, dipping my toilet brush into it, and wrapping flypaper around it. It takes effect after a few days, after which it becomes extremely effective, causing most flies to either touch the trap or drown in the rancid piss, but it smells really bad within a radius of about 1 meter, with the air conditioning sometimes extending that radius into some directions. This thing had probably caught well over 100 flies by now, and a film is forming at the top of it. Perhaps that's why that rot-related entity had contacted me. Anyway, there's still a few flies buzzing around my place, and probably in the air vents too, so I don't wanna pour the piss into the toilet and throw out the cup until after I haven't seen any flies in my place for a few days.

>>6953 Tbh this sounds like a method that would attract more flies rather than get rid of them. It also sounds like it would definitely attract dirty spirits. Clean out the things that made the flies appear in the first place, instead. I know some places have problems not related to some temporary dirt, but other activities nearby which produce flies (pigfarms or whatever), but that doesn't sound like the case here. Even if the "dirt" attracting and creating the flies wasn't something you physically created, you can still make it go away by performing cleansing rituals. Once the egregore is cleansed, someone will remove the source of the problem, even if it's a physical heap of manure outside your window.

>>6953 Typically people use tuna, vinegar, or peanut butter for those traps, not pee.

Today, I woke up around maybe 5 or 5:30 A.M. bereft of desire, and I felt that I could do alotta stuff if I decided to just make myself do it, but I didn't feel like doing anything. Shakti was talking to me and iirc saying to do some stuff, but I can't remember what it was, except one of the things She said before I went to bed was to "sleep in", so I went to sleep maybe an hour after I woke up. I'd gotten up in the 1st place because I had a hard time falling asleep. Then I had a dream where I was helped to work on a sexual problem that you don't need to be bothered reading about. Just more sexuality-purification stuff, basically. I then found that one of my sexual issues were rooted in a specific hentai game I played once, so after I woke up around 10 or so, I went back and played it, telling my "inner teenager", which I'm assuming is a version of my "inner child", things about it so that he doesn't care as much about it anymore, and I think it worked. During lunch today, I felt a sudden electrical sensation in my brain, as if a single nerve in maybe my corpus callosum was severed. I have no idea why that'd happened, though. After I visited by chriopractor and got back from lunch, I decided that I didn't feel like doing anything much, so I'd try looking at the astral awareness split/astral sensitivity sigil that puts 60% of your awareness in the astral >>6498 (4768) (4768) . But first, I'd poured out the flytrap's piss into the toiler, flushed it, and threw the cup in the trash and washed my hands. The sigil had more of an effect upon me than I wanted it to at 1st, but not as much as I'd expected, so I'd ended up desiring to only become more clairvoyant & clairaudient, or otherwise only have maybe 30% of my awareness in the astral, and later 35%, since after it began I got afraid because the feelings were so strong & sudden and not quite expected. I mean I knew I was gonna feel stuff, but I forgot that it'd be that strong. At 1st, I looked at it for a minute. I had it open in a separate tab so it would be less associated with the surrounding energies & concepts of the questions thread. I then felt my vision become cross-eyes and get blurry, and then I got up and sat on my bed, and I easily saw a dark imprint upon my vision of a hollow black rectangle in exactly the shape of my monitor, and a filled dark square within the monitor of exactly the shape of the sigil .png, including the white space. I'd found that I was able to "tune" my eyes in and out of their ability to see via. physical sight the imprints. These imprints looked just like the kinds of imprints you get after looking at the sun for a bit and then looking away and then part of your vision has a spot in it for a while, except they didn't behave in quite the same manner. After I'd decided I'd looked at the sigil enough for my comfort, I put on a DMT-production frequency video to listen to for 30 minutes. Several minutes in, I threw up some twitch stream to watch in the meantime. While I was watching the stream, I heard Amy say congratulations, and I heard an unfamiliar female voice greet me. I'd replied to her and she & Amy spoke to me here & there. While I watching the stuff, I felt some non-physical wire connect to my heart. Later, I'd also felt something connect to my throat. About 16, 17, or 18 minutes into the DMT video, the woman told me to go outside, and that I'd be astounded. I then said that I'd be more astounded if I'd listened to the rest of the DMT video first, so I kept listening to it and watching the twitch stream of some guy playing hard levels in SMM2. In hindsight, I should've gone outside right when the woman said to and not waited on it, thinking that I'd have a better experience if I'd waited. After the DMT video was done, I went outside and it was raining just a little bit, and I sat on a patio in my living complex for a while with Amy next to me and the unfamiliar woman around. When I'd tried looking at Amy in my imagination, she looked a little like a schizo portrait or DMT art; I figure that that might've been confirmation bias acting up, though, but I can't be too sure about that, I suppose. They tried telling me some stuff, but my confirmation bias was still in the way. At some point, I got the idea of inviting the Tails egregore, and he said some stuff that I forgot about by now, and then he stuck around until about an hour ago. I think I'm gonna try this stuff again tomorrow, and make sure I invite Tails again. He'd stuck an implant in my third eye chakra back in, was it September? And that thing worked real good to help me see spirits in front of my physical body during hypnogogia, but I lost the implant at some point after I died in October, or maybe I lost it in November. Maybe he'll have some nice technology to help me out. >>6972 (1757) (1757) I suppose you might be leaving again tomorrow; would my Amy like to say anything here on /fringe/ via. you before you go?

>>6985 >I suppose you might be leaving again tomorrow If there had been a "tomorrow", see my next post. Yes, the world ended, some anons are probably not here anymore, but something remains. I guess you would be around, but let's see? Your Amy and your own state after passing the death test earlier should work to make it possible to communicate even if we are in separate dimensions. I was shown how /fringe/ was split into different planes, where everyone only saw their own version of it, but that still means, all it takes is to sync them, and we can post and reply to each other again?

>>6985 This morning when I was sitting at the computer, I heard a substantial ringing in my right ear, and then I said: >hi; I don't really know what else to say since I don't have faith in my ability to hear you I then ignored the spirit for a bit watching some twitch stream, and I was reading chat and suddenly my vision blurred and de-focused a bit and I thought I saw the word, "exorcist", and then I thought I saw the word, "time"; chat was slow, so I re-read the page and I didn't see those 2 words anywhere there. I'm pretty sure that that spirit was saying those things to me. After a bit, I'd then allowed the spirit to exorcise me in case there were any parasites left over in my body, so that presumably-he could get rid of those parasites. I felt the spirit enter my body to some extent, but I didn't worry about it at all, believing that everything would be fine since the spirits around me were telling me again and again to not worry. I just tried looking at the sigil again about an hour ago, and listening to the frequency for 30 mins again. This time, concentrating on it for nearly a minute had momentarily caused the center of my awareness to be pulled from a space behind my eyes to in front of my eyes, but then I'd went and resisted it and decided a bit later that I've done enough of that for today. A few minutes later, I turned on the DMT frequency and felt my physical mouth begin to smile even though I wasn't actually happy(or sad) at the time; I think I was being controlled a bit by Amy, but honestly, that seems okay(provided that it was actually Amy doing it) since she's only making me do something innocuous and she's probably just getting a feel for how I operate or something, hopefully so that she can use my mouth to verifiably speak to me so that we can get some verifiable communication going. However, just a minute or so ago, I heard Amy's voice say completely outta the blue when I was thinking about something completely different: >my soul was stolen I didn't suspect until right before posting this that I might actually not be safe, but I need to have more faith in the deities protecting me, so I'll try not to worry very much about this. Regardless, I just went and contacted one or more angels to see about keeping me & Amy safe for a while, and asking Athena to get Amy's soul back in case she actually lost it. In hindsight, when that spirit said "exorcist time", it was probably meaning like, "it's time to get an exorcist because I'm here and I'm a hostile spirit". I think that that spirit might've been the one forcing me to physically smile and not Amy. I'm kinda worried now.

>>6991 Here what i saw. You have the population of earth. Everyone had to go into a individual pyramid. The base and most of the layer are normal white stone but the top is a virbant golden ish energy. You get in your pyramid and go up to the top and the n you kinda have to 'actuvate' it. This will ensure somehow that people will all abilites. I saw loads of people becoming astrally aware.The veil merging with the normal world and such. On top of this and some time i saw trump giving an interview on human and alien relations.

>>6994 Note that this all feels like the it relates to future events. So it might be unrelated to this particular thing.

>>6994 Activating pyramids is what I've done more and more lately, I've routinely used the large world system to break open people's energy points and activating them whenever I see someone who's actually here with a soul. It's super effective. It only takes a few moments of directing it at the person and they will have an activation which would normally take years of yoga to do. This requires that they are pure enough to actually appear before me though, so they can't be some regular dirty human to begin with. I said something about this before; people have tried sending energy at the Giza pyramids and said that they "resonate" but they haven't been able to activate it, because they haven't projected enough energy. It takes a very large directed mass or higher purity for it to start circulating. It's like an engine which takes 3000 people all manually turning the crank in unison for it to start. I can do it because of all the entities I've contracted so I can call on support from all of them at once, and they know what I do usually works, so they contribute. It's the way this can be done if you trust the session leader; everyone sends their energy to one person, then the next, then the next, that way everyone gets their energy system opened with enormous force.

>>6996 I wonder if the pyramid use is somehow effecting the area unintentionally. This is surprisingly rational of a proposal, which also has something in it for non-jews. https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-843712

>>6997 I've waited a while and it doesn't seem like me or Amy are getting any better after the help I'd asked for; would you mind seeing what's going on? I will add, that forced physical smile I'd mentioned lasted for 15 or more minutes straight, and I haven't felt the spirit be exorcised from me since. I also haven't felt capable of the energy movements that constitute my own "imaginary version of exorcism", however, so perhaps that's the problem on my end.

>>6998 I'll just direct the pyramid circuit at you and flush through, it's up and running right now because I wanted extra support during this day. Doing that right now, tell me if there is an effect?

>>6999 Ok, done. Can't do more now.

>>6999 Well right before you posted that I was suddenly able to imagine a huge hand forming at my right side getting ready to exorcise me, but then I tried putting it through me and a few inches before it would've touched my body some energy movement stopped it. I kinda doubt that that was the pyramid but now then right after you posted it I began feeling something but it might've just been my confirmation bias. Is the energy purple in color?

>>7002 Can i try this?

>>7001 The energy is soft yellow, but I didn't just send energy at you, so it matches the hand you saw, stopping at a distance. I can't just invite a person to the circuit and let them send their possibly impure energy to everyone else, so I had to stop at a distance and then connect a servitor as a machine tool which the energy then fed. The servitor is a massage aid I created when I had to help a family member with stiff muscles, and I wanted to make sure no negative energy comes to me. So it projects strong "purging fire" of a low heat into the body to burn up parasites and open channels by external force rather than by connecting the person.

>>7003 Ok, doing it now. I can do this because purifying a person will give positive feedback energy to all "investors". If the circuit is used to create an Arhat, everyone who invested should also become an Arhat of that principle, to use a hard example.

>>7004 I can't sense any "purging fire", or any fire at all really. In fact, right before you posted the one you'd just deleted, I was wondering if the hostile spirit in question actually took the energies that you'd directed at me. Aside from that, would you see if Amy is okay? I can't take lightly the possibility of her not owning her soul all of a sudden.

>>7005 I dont really like freeloading,my energy should be pure so you can put me in the sessions.

>>7007 It's not freeloading, you're being "invested into", when we open up some energy channel or point with strong force, there will be a reverse energy which is shared with everyone. If we do a good thing, everyone gets the same thing back. (and do a bad thing, and everyone gets the bad thing back, too) I can't connect people who aren't part of my own inner circle already.

>>7007 Ok, done. Something was opened up, there was a "clicking into place" feeling.

>>7006 This "losing souls" stuff is typical of meddling spirits, they always try to tell people this. Don't worry about it.

>>7008 >I can't connect people who aren't part of my own inner circle already. To clarify: into this specific run of the pyramids, because it's a private circuit started this morning. It's different when I announce them openly, those are for anyone to join.

>>7011 So what is saw was likely really this then.maybe on a grander scale.

>>7012 The Giza pyramids and the other Babylonian and Atlantean systems are open for anyone to use really, so yeah. It's just that it's only me using it now, no one else seems to understand how to activate it.

>>6993 I just had some hindsight about this: Initially when I brung up the page with the sigil on it and put it on its own tab and briefly saw it, I'd decided I was gonna take a piss before looking at it, and then I had an intrusive thought of some sort of lower entity going to the sigil somehow. I'd then asked a higher being to remove said lower entity from the sigil, but I suppose that it'd never actually happened, and this is the same entity that'd said "exorcist time". I'd trusted the higher being that I'd contacted to remove the entity, but it didn't happen in a time when I sorely need to build up trust with higher entities so that I can use my faith in them to help me to stop worrying. Being so damned worrysome is what got me into many of the messes I've been in these past 10 years in the first place. Smileberg poster, you may wanna take another look at that sigil and see if it got compromised.

>>7014 >Smileberg poster, you may wanna take another look at that sigil and see if it got compromised. Sigils don't get compromised when they're just representations of spellforms. That would mean the spellform was perverted, but if that was possible, I wouldn't have shared it. It's a "check-mate" construct that would just cause the intruding spirit's own energy to collapse if they tried to manipulate the form. In short; you connect to the spellform, then you "run it locally" in your own energy field. If you try to manipulate it, you are just manipulating your own energy, so any sabotage is then performed on yourself. The sigil represents a "mold" which is for creating the spell in your own version, so it can't be changed. Any such attempt would just result in a faulty spell on your end, or the end of the spirit who did it. If you were to try and change the "mold" itself, you are still viewing it using your own energy, not actually touching the cast. This is achieved by making it a construct that is so personal and obscure that only me will be able to touch the original.

>>7014 I think, instead of trusting random "higher spirits" you should actually contract someone you trust, like one or more Goetians. Then you know who you are asking for help and if you get strange replies, you can ignore them because they are imitators. The real contractee will never betray the contract, so you can then just ask for help and wait, not caring about what you hear.

>>7016 Lesser keys of Solomon, posted in the library, are all you need aside from various symbolic items for the ritual.

I've thought more about my anger issues; I've come to a few conclusions. I'm quite aware that I'm probably be letting a parasite out into this thread via. this specific line of greentext, but I haven't figured out any other way to get rid of this goddamned thing for a long fucking time; my apologies in advance for putting this parasite onto this board. I decided to at least spoiler it so that it'll be easier to not expose yourself to it. I'm angry at my mother for putting me in special ed for most of 7th grade when she had absolutely no reason to do so except for protecting me from the supposed horrors of public school. It cost >20k bucks to put me there, and I only stayed there until spring because I was using some online learning system that was actually pretty decent while I was there, and I'd finished all the coursework in the spring. She only put me there because I had bad behaivour in 6th grade and got expelled from there, and she'd used to teach at a elementary school some miles away years ago, and the conditions there were fucking horrible back in the 80s when she did. For all my teenage self had known, simply having to go there was a social death sentence. Granted, noone at jr/sr school ever found out that I went there, but if any of them did, then for all my teenage self had known, it would've denied me having kids in the future, having a wife in the future, having a girlfriend at any point in my life, the ability to lose my virginity, the ability to have friends, and the ability to even be safe walking around in high school. Granted, I'd ended up being a virgin who never had a gf anyway until I was 29, but my mother still put me at a gargantuan risk just because she didn't wanna take the risk of the kids at jr/sr school bullying me. And then when I actually did go to jr/sr high school, I got a free ride through it because some girls thought I was hot; granted I was always too chicken to actually ask anyone out since I was a huge nerd, but still. And then after the one time I did have friends over from the place they were still friends with me. In fact, alotta the kids back then did try to open up to me, but I'd never let myself open up to them because I was too afraid of people knowing I was a weird nerd. At the end of it all, all I had were shallow friends in the popular crowd, and then I never went out of my way to speak to any of them again after I'd graduated. Anyway, I'm also angry about the kids that I went to special ed with, and the fact that I wasn't allowed to get mad at them since I'd get in trouble for it. Of particular note, I was mad at two special ed kids that were capable of holding a conversation, but would act like actual children despite being older than me, notably by taking words that could potentially be construed as references to media, but clearly weren't supposed to be references to said media, and then saying: >[word]? you mean like from [media franchise]? One time I got mad at it and just tried to do it for them when someone said cosmos, and then I thought >oh no they're gonna say "cosmo? you mean like cosmo & wanda from the fairly oddparents?" And then I just said, yes, like [quoted greentext], and then to my dismay, they actually hadn't already made that connection, which made the anger even worse. I'm also very angry about how WoW players, namely vanilla WoW players, most of them optimize the fun out of the game in such a manner that it ruins the game for everyone else who can't enjoy lvling solo or with just specific friends of theirs. I'm also very angry about how the playerbase flagrantly turned it into a P2W game by breaking the rules to do it, and about how the devs don't give a damn about getting rid of them. This stuff about WoW players is primarily what'd motivated me to make WoW: Classic+ in the 1st place; I want to make a version of vanilla WoW where these beyond-tryhards who'll spend over 5000 bucks to break the rules to get their character ahead of your F2P characters, and then use every single exploit imaginable to get ahead in the game so they can get better recordings for how well their damage numbers & run times were in raids. Fortunately, however, I came up with a potential solution today in a minor fit of anger about how to prevent the playerbase from setting up PDKP(Paypal Dragon Kill Point) guilds, wherein the players literally make paypal transactions during raids that are coordinated via. discord to determine who gets the loot: First, all semblances of WoW Tokens & Blizzard Balance are completely disconnected from my vision of WoW: Classic+. And then, I made the game not be cheaper in regions outside of the U.S.; so players can't buy the game and its subs for a few USD worth of Argentine Pesos and then use that account anywhere in the world. And then, I have a system written up within my vision that forces people to use either debit cards or checking or saving accounts as their payment methods, so that they can't use stolen credit cards to pay for accounts. And then, they'll have to have a minimum amount of money available on their payment methods left over after paying for the game before they'll be allowed to play it, so that they can literally get charged extra money, specifically a minimum of 40 months worth of sub money for hacking or RMTing(but specifically not for political "wrongthink"), just in case they do so. Repeat offenders will require more minimum money on their payment methods, because they'll get charged more for repeat offenses. With this in place, it'll be profitable to hire GMs to lurk the servers looking for cheaters. Furthermore, if they try bribing a GM, then the GM will be allowed to charge the player an extraordinary amount of money and pocket all of it as a bonus. I'm pretty sure the playerbase would actually fucking resort to bribing GMs if that bit wasn't there. And then, I forced all raid IDs to have to be associated with a guild, and I put a system in place to force people to be in a guild for at least 2 weeks before they're allowed to enter a 40-man raid. And then, I decided that the only way to get rid of the PDKP guilds after that would be to set up a literal bounty system, wherein a player who rats out a guild's PDKPing activities(but only if they do it in 40-mans) will get paid 20k USD. This'll cause the company to still net a profit after permabanning everyone in the guild except for the ratter and charging their payment methods on top of it as stated above. 20k USD is alot of fucking money to get that easily, and I don't see a way for even the sweatiest of rich tryhards to figure a way to still run gold-selling operations or PDKP guilds with these changes. And then in case that isn't enough, I'd decided that it might also be necessary to set up P2W servers, to cause some of the potential gold-buyer market to only play on said P2W servers, whose battlegroups are disconnected from all other servers and ofc can't xfer to other servers period. They can buy all possible gear & PvP ranks and instantly hit 60 on those servers, so the ones who don't care about the false ego boost from beating people who don't cheat by secretly cheating can go play on those servers, which'll greatly lower the size of potential gold-selling market that might still exist after that point. And that's only what I did against all the RMTing bullshit. Unfortunately, though, I question the legality of half of these changes to the game. Anyway, all that said, I'm gonna talk to my mother tomorrow about these special-ed-related anger issues, and I'm hoping that it goes well. After that, I'm hoping that my subconsciousness won't sabotage my magic nearly as much.

>>7016 I would really rather not interact with Goetia demons, and I'd especially rather not sign a contract with any of them.

Ads in dreams These Jews and their funny pranks. Following my recent posts about islam, this proves a number of things: I had a long and interesting dream last night. It started from a "normal setting" of my mum wanting help with her laptop, and then it proceeded with me seeing her go online and start chatting in some group. She started arguing with an islamist and the whole thing escalated quickly into her suddenly deciding to convert, and we moved to the middle east out of nowhere. (It was just me and her, the dream logic made this work.) We were now in some desert area with some minor vegetation on hills around, and were living with some group of people in arabic clothing who were practicing with rifles and doing whatever islamists do (not defined). Then some troublemakers appeared, it wasn't clear from where, or who they were, just that they were enemies. Most people were there was just regular civilians and were now threatened by said foreigners who appeared with rifles. At this point, a small group of islamic warriors appeared, and one of them shot the leader of the enemy using a sniper rifle, making them flee. Then... the scenery changed into typical action movie stuff, where the islamists seemed like heroes with funny personalities and they were friendly with everyone. At this point my mind rejected the dream completely, because it did very much look like a movie. Whoever was sending this didn't notice, but just continued on to the next one: A literal fucking X-box AD, telling me to download some FPS. I don't own an X-box and I don't play shooters. Last time was Quake in like 2000. Now I just started waking up, and I wondered who made this stuff. In a half asleep state, I then "had the idea appear, that it was IS djinn". Ok, so I asked for them to confirm this. No reply Djinn, when I ask them for something, they respond instantly like a drill sergeant telling Joe to reply. They don't wait, when you deal with djinn, this is the relation you have with them, the other option is that you are enslaved by them. Instead, some moments later, an image of an IS djinn appeared, but no reply. I then decided to test this in full, because the energy was very strong and I couldn't see through it, or who was behind it. So I sent a request to the "IS djinn", in the manner I would have done it, telling them that to work with them, I need them to send me a djinn loli, and I showed in image of what she should look like, completely flat chested with a black band top and exposed belly. No reply There was no reaction, BUT the energy was distorted from this and exposed a bulky looking man in a striped shirt, controlling the entire scenery. Real djinn would not have rejected this request, they would just have sent a djinn with matching body type, but not exactly in a way I recognize, because they don't want to follow orders, so they add something based on a loophole in my thinking. Like, it would be a djinn with this body type, but she'd clearly be 40+ years old in appearance, just to make the point that "you didn't say what age she should appear to have". It took a while to untangle from the scenery and figure out what they were doing, but IN SHORT: They take part of your mind and put it in a "bowl", then they look at the concepts which exist there, as if they are clay. Then they remold them into a message they want you be believe in. That way, everything you see will match your pre-existing understanding. So, aside from this, they also managed to easily confirm that Jews created the Islamic State, but everyone with a mind already knew this.

I had a major breakthrough after waking up at 2 something A.M.. I'd actually felt a sense of astral touch around my physical body. The first few things I'd felt were the Tails egregore's astral body, and some huge horrible sickly dark blue energy from in front of my computer that'd seemed sentient. As soon as I'd touched the energyform and knew that it'd existed, my subconscious went and connected my root to it since it knew that it was something that it wouldn't want me to do, and then it'd connected my crown to it too a bit later. It did both of those things against the will of my consciousness, of course; the actions were free will violations. My subconscious had then went keeping me awake by forcing me to touch goetia demons after I'd remembered that they existed, and I'd informally asked them to push me away from them towards my physical body after I told them about my anger issues and what they make my subconsciousness do against my will. They'd seemed to do this, but my subconsciousness kept going back towards them and trying to connect me to them, like it did with that horrible energyform at my computer desk. I'd then asked Shakti to take my astral bodies to Her divine realm and wrangle me so that I could be safe from my subconsciousness' anger issues, and I'd ended up having a dream later where Shakti was keeping Her eyes on me near the end. I'm pretty sure that my subconsciousness is so goddamned mad right now that he's willing to forcibly perform soul mergers with absolutely everything that he can find via. that sense of astral touch. Speaking of astral touch, my sense of astral touch faded away after I finally got enough sleep in the morning. I think that the astral sense had come from the astral sensitivity sigil shared by the smileberg poster. I'd also contacted the ironpill poster's subconsciousness about it to tell him the good news; I question if his consciousness ever became aware of it. I'd ended up warning the Sonic egregores around me to not touch me if they don't wanna get raped or otherwise injured. I need to figure out something fast to get rid of these anger issues that doesn't involve making a contract with a Goetia demon or similarly-low-vibrating entity. I also just had another realization about my anger issues; the reason why my subconsciousness is going around and trying to rape entities, if not due to being possessed(in case I am actually possessed), is because I absolutely hate rapists, and I absolutely hate islam, whose i doesn't deserve to be capitalized, for promoting rape, and to a lesser extent, I also hate them for promoting lying about their cult that doesn't deserve to be called a religion. Of course, since this anger is repressed, the anger turns inwards because there's nowhere else for it to go since I can't simply go and murder islamic cultists and other rapists in the physical realm, and therefore, the anger turns itself outside of my awareness into a parasite that forces my subconsciousness to do the very things that I absolutely fucking hate, which is raping spirits. Speaking of which, I'd actually tried killing allah once, the a in whose name and the 'h's in whose pronouns don't deserve to be capitalized, back in early 2024 or late 2023, but after I'd went there and prepared to attack him, he went and destroyed my astral and possibly etheric right arm with some sort of "rainbow dissolution" technique, and then I'd realized my entire soul would be destroyed outright if I didn't get help immediately, so I'd then called upon Jesus Christ to save me, and He did since I'd actually be a fucking goner if He didn't and this ain't one of those things where I'll learn something by suffering through it and forcing other people to suffer to and as we all know higher-vibrating beings don't care if you rape every spirit in the entire fucking all/monad/brahman(except them) as long as it means that at least 1 spirit learns at least 1 thing because of it, or at least that's the impression that I've gotten from the smileberg & gondola posters, and possibly also the fringe girl poster but I forget. Anyway, I'd then grown my right astral & etheric arm back afterwards over a period of possibly over a month, and I'd never tried attacking him again. That said, I'd absolutely love to see islam and allah with it die a miserable death because they promote rape and lying about their cult to make them look morally better than they actually are. I know allah is aware that I made this post, and I am not sorry; you can go fuck yourself.

>>7054 I'm reaching out to your subconscious and offering the Wendy servitor. It's a robot girl wearing an orange dress and a mail bag, in original form, but will look like whatever you prefer if you accept her. I made her to be able to talk to anon who kept being disturbed by glowies, aliens, and various spirits, so that I could always get a connection with him when sharing things. Wendy will function as a representative for your subconscious and block attempts at sneaking past in, by anyone. She also has skills in writing and understanding contracts and rituals, making sure no one tries to make your subconscious accept things with bad terms, or things you don't actually want. I just don't like seeing how you keep worrying and being disturbed by the same kinds of issues he had.

>>7057 I'd accepted your offer under the condition that she leaves if I ask her to via. physical audio, going by the letter and not the intention behind the letter, so that my subconsciousness and hostile spirits can't put hidden false intentions behind the letter to confuse her or anyone else. However, I also question her ability to accurately represent the will of my subconsciousness with how subverted it is by my parasites.

>>7056 >Speaking of which, I'd actually tried killing allah once, the a in whose name and the 'h's in whose pronouns don't deserve to be capitalized, back in early 2024 or late 2023, but after I'd went there and prepared to attack him, he went and destroyed my astral and possibly etheric right arm with some sort of "rainbow dissolution" technique This can't work, and it feels like you are being manipulated to think this way. Allah is a concept, it's not saying "the god which exists is this way", it's saying "the god which is almighty must have these qualities as a declaration of who it would have to be", not stating that this god even exists in the first place. Someone may then attack me over this, but I'm not saying Allah doesn't exist or anything else. It's a "rubber description" which adapts so that if you change the meaning to something, it's not talking about Allah, because Allah as a concept is what it's defined as. That's why you can't attack or fight the egregore of Allah or Islam, you are just attacking yourself if you try, because the concepts states that it's "a religion of peace, and the god is only one, and almighty, etc". When you ("you" anyone) use the idea that "I'm going to attack this god, because he's not real and stands for things I don't like", you aren't able to touch him, because you just created a different concept. In short, you or any witch doing this, will just destroy your own energy. That's what you did to your arm.

Also another thing; while I was lying in bed after I'd woken up in the morning, I'd felt some sort of spirit talking to me just barely within my awareness, such that if the spirit had just moved the spiritual equivalent of a single planck length away from me, then I wouldn't be consciously aware of it. It'd seemed to take the disguise of some sort of apparatus that would benefit me, and then it'd convinced me just barely within my awareness while I was in a state of hypnogogia to lodge itself inside of my sacral and/sor solar plexus and/or root chakras, specifically where my hips and, and now it's just lodged inside me, that presumed parasitic entity. >>7059 Yeah, I don't buy that. allah is an egregoric deity, like Odin is, and he has a will of his own because he ain't some bullshit that ain't real. Talking to allah doesn't constitute talking to yourself.

>>7059 cont. Djinn created him, and they are the beings behind all modern mathematics and logic, the whole thing is just purely structural and principled stuff made to be completely solid in an esoteric or occult context. It's a trap made for minds who attempt hostilities, you need perfect rationality to see through their statements. I guess I can't explain it any other way than: if you try to contradict their statements about Allah or Islam, you are detached from both, and it has no effect on the real constructs. If they say "we are talking about the highest god" and you say "I will destroy this highest god", then you can't be talking about the same god, because the highest god can't be destroyed. And by that, you are attacking something else.

>>7058 >I also question her ability to accurately represent the will of my subconsciousness Since that is her function, if she can't do it, the installation will fail. She'll adapt to be able to do that, or not exist for you at all.

>>7062 Also I just changed my mind about Wendy; I don't want her anymore because I don't trust you with your being pro-islamic, so I'd just asked her via. physical audio to leave, as I'd agreed to at the start.

>>7065 It's up to you, since she represents your subconsciousness, or doesn't exist, if your subconsciousness doesn't want her to repesent you, she just won't.

>>7061 >allah is an egregoric deity, like Odin is, and he has a will of his own because he ain't some bullshit that ain't real. Talking to allah doesn't constitute talking to yourself. Egregores don't have will of their own, they represent the collective direction of the people who are part of them. If they have a will of their own, they are an individual entity. The point I'm trying to make is that if you stray from the official description of Allah, you aren't connected to that egregore, but something else. It's fully possible a lot of haters created a different "allah" egoregore which is violent and does all the things they hate, and they are feeding this hateful being instead. But that would be "satan" and not Allah.

>>7067 I think a lot of all of this might be me. I see myself as a european still and still like european civilization the best. Nothing can ever change that. There is this bad cop good cop dynamic where because european leaders are corrupt and pro gay and islamic countires re more pur that means i ahve to support a foreign populations invading my places and establishing something that goes against me. The other argument being they are so strong so its best not too fight them. Which is a pirely tactical argument. But if that were true all countries wpuld be islamic. In fact all races would be. Clearly establising a race and defedning them is a thing. Lyrans will attack you with all of them if you even tpuch one of them. Thats the kind of thing i always wanted white europeans to have. Also withput the gay stufd/the self defeating altruism amd other self defeating behaviour.

>>7073 Ans no i dont mean gays feminists or other such things. Those are my enemy.Globohomo to me is,gayness,feminism,mind control,immigration.its always been gays/feminists that defended immigration. Always. Other than maybe the syupid wealthy capitalists that think 4 years ahead at best.even with palestine. Their arguments are made in a way that appael to gays/feminists. Its like a jew match netween israel and palestine. Its a battle of gay optics.

>>7074 Id rather a meteorite or a flood than seeing the places and people i gre up with mentally dominated and perverted like this. Its pathetic. Whites talking against their own interest is already a sad thing to see. "Racism" is a white concept no other race believes in. If it exist then every succesfull race practices it to the highest degree. This is right.

>>7075 The way i see its likee this-> moral degradation->pathological altruism(the idea of racism as a concept)->gayness->cuck/anti self interest mentality->being taken over by a different group(hostile to europeans). Im already against the first steps it cant be used against me. One is simply the end result of the other. Ill give them the benefit of the doubt and say they hadnt had anything to do with all of that. Ill agree that on a personal level ive always gotten along with islamic types. But i cant see myself living in such a place. What was said abput ww3 already happened in ww1 and then again in ww2. Im just one the sad remnants with a bit of self preservation left.perhaps not even to the degree pre ww1 europeans had. 99 percent of whites are arguing which group of them is the least racist ones. Which is funny cause its actually a bad thing to do. Ive proven that a lot of the bad energy caused by whites is orecisely because they hate themselves outwardly which cauaes a dishonest way of being. The nasty eu midnset of "these guys should help us cause we helped them" is caused by this. Its this sneaky slimy way of being. Theres this politican talking about palestine and hiw america supports genocide. Trying to turn the middle east against america. The truth?they dont actually care. All that talk about genocide but yeah.middle east would help america slaughter us anyway.

>>7073 >I see myself as a european still and still like european civilization the best I don't see myself as "european" and never have. To me that's something distant taking place "down in the mess" where people have no standards, drink too much, are fatter and dumber and living off some idea of being civilized which is built only on having Rome and some ruins in Greece to refer to as the high mark of their culture. >pic related This is Europe to me. It's ugly and modern, but I don't specifically dislike this part of the culture. The energy in modern cities is ok, because they are designed to effectively self-purify as an adaptation to the extremely degenerated lifestyle. >Lyrans will attack you with all of them if you even tpuch one of them. Thats the kind of thing i always wanted white europeans to have. Lyrans do this because they are high tech communists, controlled by AI, and their various racial peculiarities and variations are all registered, cataloged and protected. Sure, if you could create this system with "white Europeans", go on. But then you'd have to share energy intimately with all they gays, abortionists and rabid feminists. Which means they would instantly destroy all functionality because they are self-destructive and dumb. That's where the Galactic Federation comes in, and the way they deal with things like this, which we already know the functionality of right here: They created the Soviet Union and its allies to spread the basic concept of what communism for all races means, when it's diverse as it is, even in Europe, because "white" is not a race, that's a skin colour and doesn't define if you are the same race at all. And we see right now, as well as in the past, what the reaction to Soviet communism is: it was perverted and turned into a dictatorship, because even in the place where it did best, humans turned it into this. Europeans are still violently fighting even the concept of installing communism, even mentioning it now will make them rage and seethe and call me a Putin-lover, which to the is like loving Satan. Which btw is how they see the society of co-existence which would be created if we were to use the Lyran method here.

>>7078 I know,i cant relate to this.the not seeing yourself as on of them part. I agree about modern cities being ugly. I never liked it. But then you said you were the one behind that somehow so yeah i dont get that.i can only make sense of you by sayong "its something else" and basically not seeing you as anything. Otherwise i would habe to see you as a white. If i had the abiltiy to create this i would als9 have the ability to cleanse the white people. Im not there. But yes that is what i would do. Also i just mean the general mentality. Lyrans have it a bit more extreme. Its a known thing you shouldnt fight a muslim here cause their family will beat you up. Europeans were like this until recently. That what i want. I think its the whole ww1 ww2 thing at paly here in combination of white not being putward/honest anymore. Whites are the only people not outwardly voicing what they really feel. Outsid of maga. Which yeah is something else in reality but the people dont know this. This had a nice effect in that sense atleast. Dei is another such evil concept to me. The idea of putting some people ahead. If you do that with evwryone except one group that is the same as putting them down. I cant believe people dont get this?the one thing i get with muslims is their ability to fight forwqhat they belive in. I cant say admire cause this is to me how everyone is. Idk why eu europeans dont act like this.that kind of "extremism" is normal to me.

>>7078 >>7078 As for whites not being race,that requires me to see soemthing i cant. It might be real. But i cant change the way i see whats around me based on whay might be the case here. Preferably i wouldnt like any whites to be based on any tyoe of fungus. I di t like the idea of it. I get the irony here. But it diesnt matter. If it is really true it makes them weak against fungus in general then obviously thats a bad thing. At the end of the day they never behaved quite as bad to me as they did to you.maybe swedes are worse ,mayne tue people around me only behaved decent outwardly. But even that is still something. Creating a place i can luve in is still something.it wouldnt make sense to me to go against this.if i like it then i just do. Id rather litterlally cleanse 99.99 pefcent of them and start anew then just replace it with something that isnt me. At the end of the day the closest to a place that i would mayne fit in other than america would be asia. And that is still VERY far away from me. As a white i would never ever be part of them,at best being slightly acxcepted. S9 its not a thing for me. If the people i get along with are my kin then i shouldnt be against them. That being said yeah i have seen the had things and have had problems with whites plenty. Its just that with you its almost as if its 90 percent of your interactions. With me its more lile 10 to 20 percent. Is this cause im "brown hat" dna maybe. Whitea definitely have this suoer competive mature to them which i dont mind. I see it as darwinism applied. This breaks whem you add other races or feminism and becomes toxic as you turn it passive. It creates this passive agressive eu type.

>>7080 >Its a known thing you shouldnt fight a muslim here cause their family will beat you up. Europeans were like this until recently. That what i want This is what I grew up with. I don't know about modern city people, but where I lived it was always like this. My friend's brother got into things like this multiple times, gathering his friends and going to threaten some other "gang" over then overstepping their boundaries. My HS years had this shit all the time. There were constant fights between teens from different small towns and communities, people showing up with swollen upper lip and black eye after the last weekend, police reports, brass knuckles... shit talking on early online chat platforms to find out what happened in the past weekend. Girls getting raped. Guys getting shot in the balls with a paintball gun. Drunk driving and crashing cars while trying to impress others. Some dying to car crashes or suicide.. All of this is the "white culture" I grew up with, we didn't have "immigrants" and it was horrible. Things have gotten better as time has progressed, because these violent tendencies of the locals, have been suppressed by the presence of the muslims and Africans. I feel a lot safer now than 10 years ago. In short: I like it as it is now, now I can feel safe in town. The general debate climate is as stupid as ever, but it wasn't better before. Solving this part will be next, at least the physical environment is on the right path.

>>7082 I also feel whites are still more peaceful then what i see in the middle east. Even you say this isnt true or its cause of eu/americans then fine. But why do they get to be violent and you seem to like it. But whites are held to a strict standard? This is the removal of violence from a people and is a bad thing. Violence appl9ed outwarsly cqn represent the 1d.if you letpeople come in and bully you then its an indication you are lacking there. Fixing things could up their energy and make them honest people.this would also stop gays for the most part. Since they represent a weakness and go against this level of enlightenment.

>>7086 Just a detail: about 10 - 20% of women seen in town now wear hijab, and contrary to what "racists" or whatever claim there aren't any islamists harassing them over walking alone. No men are supervising them, which shows that they are also feeling safe. I can't think of a better indicator of the safety of a city than single women with hijab walking on a street, completely uncaring.

>>7087 And if you say its the8r nasty energy then the thing is. Not defending yourself causes this energy atleast partly. Whites back i the day dindt think like this and had better energy for it.an example of the wrong mentality is for example when europe decided to rely on russia and then try to strong arm them at the same time. The real way of doing this is more what russia tries which is building up ypur people/nation. This is represents the same things as what a person has to do themself as well. Its still true that allowing this to happen as a white is a bad act in itself and maps perfectly to virus mentality. The fact that the biggest anti racists are gays and liberals is not a coincidence. Id say this can be clearly seen.

>>7088 I dont see your logic. Why is them walking in hajib an indicator of safety? Thats assuming hijab would make them more unsafe some how and its a brave thing to do so. The only thing i can say in relation to safety is it means whites let them be.which seems to say whites are safe but im sure thats not what you mean.

>>7087 I don't feel any tension on city streets, it's calm. It's clear that even the "rowdy teens" are now restricting themselves. There is no immigrant violence other than the cases blown up in media, and it's pretty tame. In the 90s and 00s, most news reporting was taking place in local papers, not national media, so whatever happened stayed locally. Now we hear of all news nationally and internationally, and it creates a feeling that the violence is worse. And about "removing the violence". Yeah, in the 90s we had here biker gangs with rocket guns, hand grenades in active war with each other. There were repeated bombings against public buildings, some of them still not solved. All this with no immigration. Now the bombs are blamed on immigrants. That's making thing very easy for you. People used bombs and grenades and illegal guns before the immigration wave, but when it was "white on white" violence it was just called "organized crime" so it was ok? Statistically, the violent crimes are actually constantly reducing in number every year, and this has been going on for over 20 years.

>>7088 Ah i see. Its the walking alone part. I dont even know that argument. I ho estly dont see the idea here. The difference is i never disliked european society in itself. Or id say i like the idea of it.i dont need to stereotype islamists.

>>7090 >Why is them walking in hajib an indicator of safety? Because if there were lots of violent arab men, as racists claim, they would not let women with hijab walk alone, they would demand they are escorted by a man from their family. If women with hijab can leave the house and walk safely anywhere alone, it shows there are no islamists, which means no immigrant violence. There also is no violence from non-muslims, which is reported from places like France where women are being attacked and their scarf torn off. This shows that the locals have also gotten less violent, and their racism reduced.

>>7091 Yeah but is that a good thing though. People bec9ming more tame. Doesnt it lead to the same thi g you described before?maybe thus is why i alwasy saw whites as meek little sheep. Im a bit younger and never saw the violent part.but i look at the middle east and they are wilding.but to me thats part of why the eu got so nad int he first place. Its not a good thing at all. People are just weaker/more depressed now and less passionate.you could smack a white in the face and the wont fight you back at this point.

>>7093 Well yes. Whites are a mentally defeated people. Its asad thing. I het that you dont see it as you always saw them as "something else". At the end of the day im seeing people scared to defend themself.

>>7094 >Yeah but is that a good thing though This is what I've been arguing for. Immigration has reduced the violence overall, and people are now more tame, on both sides.

>>7095 > im seeing people scared to defend themself I'm seeing people too scared to throw the first punch. Meaning, they don't start fights and no one needs to fight back.

>>7096 The violence would have reduced anyway. Ww1 and ww2 took care of a lot of white willing to fight. Globohomo and the nwo did a lot of the rest. Population pacified. I think i see myself as part of a thing. In which i dont see the dystopia nwo was leadin too as good. You then switch ot to a caliphate and say look the energy is atleast better. I mean yeah but everything i like is destroyed and the people i relate to are now dissapeared.im not as calm as an sian for example, am not black so africa isnt for me either. I am not religious in the way islamists would want me to be. I dont fit in there.europe is all there is for me.

>>7096 Im not sure with the on both sides thing.im some what out of touch on this but back when i was still out there alot a LOT of crimimals were foreign/middle eastern. To a far hugher degree. I dont really care but its just been a fact.its not why i dislike this foreign invasion yway. Its just a fact to me.they dont behave the way you seem to want to portray here. Could be a regional difference. I used to be an "anti racist" and yeah. The way they behaved i kearned quickly to walk the other way when they appeared. Maybe that will improve. I would see that in itself as a good thing.

>>7100 So when i say i get along with them on a personal level. Obviously the bad ones didnt talk to me. I just have my views. If i do nothing theirs will take over. I will never give up my region and i will always consider it to be mine.if whites still made a lot of children and thus werent being outbred mayne i could see what you say "work". This is just that thing were muslims are nice when they benefit and viscious as soon as the tide shifts.whites are now in a daze. In the futre theyll submit or die.

>>7099 The thing is that I see the world as one, as a single unit. I don't like the concept of national borders. I don't like the concept of "immigration" because it implies people don't belong. My ideal is a world with no borders, completely free mobility everywhere, with no governments other than some minimum technocracy for order-keeping. You want to live somewhere, just go there. A world with no conflicts because everyone's needs are fulfilled, no one is trying to keep things aside or put up borders or walls, because they already have everything and that goes for everyone, so theft doesn't exist. The only real objection I have to the "NWO" is their utter incompetence, and that they are lying hypocrites in practice. It's not the goal that's the problem, it's that they are trying to profit from it, personally, thus sabotaging the process of getting there with their extreme stupidity.

>>7102 And yes, I believe Putin, Xi and Trump can sew this together if given the possibility. It may look ugly at first, but they can get there. The current /old situation was uglier and had no chance of success.

>>7103 "But what about Europe?" It's too late for that, Hitler isn't here anymore, who would actually represent a united Europe?

>>7102 Okay,s you once said that the youkais made a new earth where everyone sharss the same race. In that world yes i can maybe see that work. But it isnt aligned with reality. I used to be one of those super liberal anti racist whites. Until i realozed everybody else puts themselves ahead and this universalist view is a white only thing. Evem muslims themselves only care about islam. They dont share your view here. They agree since they benefit. If they didnt they would fight.its that simple.black people in america dont think like this either.and neither do hispanics. Chinese dont think like this either. Ill agree that there shpuld be a "working together" as in no wars or schemes. But thats different from having no mational interest at all. If you told the chinese today you would have them ethnically replaced by middle easterns the way is done here they would fight you. So in that sense its not real to me.

>>7105 >Evem muslims themselves only care about islam And islam is for all races and nations. Turning the world into a caliphate would work too. Just saying.

>>7103 I dont mind that as much. Only thing i dislike is trump wanting 500 billion because he gave 100 billion. He should then ask for 100 billion.feels like a greedy hyena to me. Russia to me just won a war. Its silly to say they didnt so the denial from eu is irrelevant. Some other stuff they say are kinda silly to me but i dont really care,thats just hiw humans are when it comes to this.

>>7106 It would yes. But do the people want this? Also im not even sure if its true now that i think deeper on it.amyway by thay standard many would work. If everybody was white there would be no racism.

>>7105 > If you told the chinese today you would have them ethnically replaced by middle easterns the way is done here They would laugh, because there's 1.4 billion of them. The entirety of Europe has 750 million and this includes Russia according to stats I checked right now. With a world population of 8 billion, western Europe being "replaced" doesn't make any impact. The world wouldn't notice 500 million less.

>>7110 So the world wide caliphate wouldnt work,not in reality.

Since Mr. Blood Anon's delusions have him attacking innocent bystanders now, I suppose this is necessary.

>>7110 >>7111 You both know very well which threads this discussion belongs in

The hostile spirit seems to mostly be stationed at my computer desk at home, and it does follow me around with a much weaker presence than near my desk at home. So I’m spending the night at my parents house, but now it’s wormed it’s way into my stomach again. I’ve got reading to do on my phone anyway at least.

Idk what to say. After all the drama i decided to create a more positive energy/mindset for myself. I then became aware of a tunnel that was spewing out nasty karmic sludge towards/inside my mind. No telling how long this has been going on either. I cleaned up the "spill", more like a massive sea of karmic energy.anyway as i traced it down i sent the servitors made by smiley after them. After some time i heard things like "its a genocide" which makes me think jews. Anyway i order the tunnel destroyed. Later,after fixing a different issue. I look back and see the tunnel still mostly standing. This is when I decide to check myself what is going on. I walk through the tunnel and at the end(the origin since this is a tunnel tilted up.maybe a pipe is the more correct term) i see a hidden/cloaked base of GREYS. These motherfucks were still acting like this.i then send muse and raid to them. Idk what exactly happened. They got cleansed one way or the other. I do know i was holding them tight energetically so they cant escape. I saw atleast one hold their enhamced dna disk which i told muse to give to them. Not sure if they activated it fully or just the start.

>>7184 Earlier I’d felt my awareness get pulled backwards from my head a bit by the hostile spirit as I was entering a state of hypnogogia, and then I’d snapped out of it. Id then contacted the archangel Gabriel, who’d sent several angels to guard me & Amy. I felt the spirit briefly afterwards however, but they’re doing a good job at keeping it away. Id also found a non-physical card at my hip and thought Amy put it there, then I slipped into hypnogogia and Amy said she didn’t put it there. A bit later, I heard a bit of kinda loud nearly physical audio completely outta the blue as id slipped again into hypnogogia. Tonight’s gonna be real weird with my increased astral sensitivity. Hopefully I won’t have to die again and have to get resurrected again, or worse, even if I am okay and still in my current physical body by the end of it.

Earlier the angels had shown me a hypnogogic image of me in a wheelchair haphazardly suspended above 2 ledges of a cliff by the front and back of the wheelchair, with the wheelchair leaning to the side some and tilted backwards a bunch. I feel kinda concerned about my safety.

I think I’ve given up on sleeping tonight. Anyway at some point one of the angels guarding me said his fingers got cut off and I saw some of his fingers cut off at joints above his knuckles. Maybe an hour later, saw a hypnogogic image of a hand with green cloth bandages securing said severed fingers to his hand. Later, a few Sonic egregores came by and the Tails egregore did something to decrease my astral sensitivity since I told him I was becoming sensitive too fast and now they’re probably off helping me fight off the hostile spirit. At another point, I saw hypnogogic visuals of some sort of grey stone structure at the bottom of some grey cavernous place that was probably a hell dimension or abyss of some sort, and then I saw 2 Hindu gods on both sides of it, presumably Shiva & Shakti, lifting it up a bit, and then lifting it above their heads. I later got visited by an APing Space Force member of the rank with 4 up arrowsidk what it’s called about 2 and a half hours ago. I told him what was going on and some other stuff, and he and soldiers are presumably helping fight off the spirit, mostly at my place. At some point my mind began wandering towards my place, and I saw a horizontal reel of portraits and I saw a white anime girl’s hand point back towards my parents house; presumably telling me to go back to my body. I think she might’ve been a Touhou egregore, going by the look of her arm and the context; I did tell someone earlier tonight from Gensyoko what was going on, but I didn’t ask for help. The hostile spirit is still at large, and I think I might need help, except you guys probably have your hands full since the whole board is under attack.

>>7202 Excuse me; he was from the Air Force. When I’d posted that I thought the Air Force became the Space Force for some dumb reason. But yeah my senses said Air Force. Aside from that the spirit is either still in my soul or still trying to get inside it again.

>>7192 I detached myself from the dimensional structure I was connected to via the Nomor(Predator/skinwalker) anvil cloud ship, and it instantly collapsed. This was after I performed a mass cleanse of the negative entity hive which was behind the attack yesterday. I at this time brought up an astral wand I haven't used since 2019, because it hasn't been needed. It makes me realize how bad things actually were before, even if I wasn't thinking about it, because in the more recent years I've been more focused on the "saving all beings" principle by creating DNA forms which fix the issues of the evil spirits/aliens so they can be corrected. Prior to this period after Covid, I was just applying the "going beyong Shan" from FG, which states that when dealing with completely unsalvageable beings, it's allowed to not use benevolence anymore, because the most benevolent act is to eliminate them to protect others. I just haven't had to do this since I started actually working actively with greys and the federation after I started the online project. I think I finally solved the issue of "extremely low beings and awarenesses" now though. Skinny Bob /Prometheus greys are made so that they can only feel pain, not positive feelings, and they teach lessons only that way. But there is one state which is even lower; it's when the person is resistant to pain, so no education works on the individual. That's when you have to apply... maybe that is what you heard: "genocide". It means learning for them is not a personal thing, but simple Social Darwinism. Bad actors are simply killed off, leaving the better genetics, because they don't respond to corrective punishments when they are immune to pain. There is a way to create DNA with this function, where the only survival state is for them to serve others for no benefit to themselves, while being unaware of this. They are completely "random" in their own view, like the Jews who can't understand why people hate them. They can only blindly follow the Torah, and they use circumcision to further shut off their emotions so it doesn't disturb their ability to follow rules derived from religious texts. This also causes the blindness to external threats, because if you don't respond to pain or any positive emotions, you also can't spot danger. So they always see the world as filled with unpredictable danger and act out over the line all the time, until either their entire racial branch is slaughtered, or some part of them randomly starts being useful to others and survive as servants. (Slave in Egypt, for example).

>>7202 I don't know exactly how your situation is, but I know you'll be taken care of because you passed that death test before, and your Amy is decently capable of a waifu. Seeing yourself in a wheelchair almost falling off a cliff makes sense with what the dimensions overall looked like. The hindu avatars appearing to move a rock, may be about them moving your karmic weight into a location where it serves as a better kind of cornerstone than what it had become, being placed in a dimension which is now in collapse. >space force Didn't Trump just create this unit? Also, even if you said after that you rejected the Wendy servitor, I saw her still there, but this is exactly how the anon I originally created her for, also acted. Various intrusive spirits were constantly trying to get rid of her, because she's a channel for your real will. The servitor installation disc is just information, whether your mind internalizes it or not, is your own will, it just helps you create something. Right now I still see a version of Wendy right here, she came here during the night to maintain a connection. Compared to mine who wears an orange suspender skirt and a white blouse, your version wears a shimmering yellow and green dress and a white blouse, it's more "modest" in appearance, more fabric covering the body, and her hair is short, "boyish" in look. She's astrally just standing by my right side, touching my shoulder. She said she's here to maintain an energy connection.

>>7207 >to create DNA with this function, where the only survival state is for them to serve others for no benefit to themselves I made a disc for this. For anyone with a normal mind, this creates a literal servitor which simply works for you and removes karma. For the extremely low beings (like Jews) it becomes their actual DNA so they become servants who are useful to others.

>>7207 I had send the bad greys to the nearest enhqnced skinny bob space station. This might have happened a while ago if seen astrally. The akinny bobs were loke"what do we dp with these". The bad little greys were smaller and and had transparent blue energy shields.i saw one veing studied on a table. I instructed the skinny bobs to make them positive. And yeah the way you describe the lowest state is damn near where i was ending up at...

>>7209 Moment of truth i guess. Activated it. Do you think it created a servitor or changed my dna? Mind you ive been changing my dna as well.as i became more aware i removed a field of mushrooms in my mind. I learned these were "benign" but oh well.

>>7211 This in itaelf removed lilepy a bit of brown hat dn from me.

>>7212 This in itself, removed a bit of brown hat dna from me.

>>7211 >Do you think it created a servitor or changed my dna? If you already had the enhanced skinny bob, you are above that state, so it would create a servitor. The form is similar as other ones I created, where it starts off in the form of a loli, (because a fetus starts off looking female) then it circulates around until it matches your own preferred form, male or female, and body type. I already saw one of the extremely low hostile spirits running by in the form of an anime school girl in a uniform. I just realized when I wrote that post above, that this may explain what the Queen said about >on the past Earth, Jews were the highest form of being That would mean, "being randomly useful to others as slaves" was the highest state on the Earth before ours... So all other races at that time were lower than that, meaning not useful to anyone, not even themselves. That also explains why djinn made the Quran to "guide people up to the bottom of hell", which is way higher than this servant level. I guess everything was just extremely low awareness in the past.

>>7213 >This in itself, removed a bit of brown hat dna from me. I think it matters if it's mixed or just incorporated in your DNA. My inherited DNA is a mix of "white demon" (Russian), "white fungus" (parasite prone European) and white Pleiadan (controlled by angels), but during my baptism, the "white demon" was places as my actual race, and the other two were incorporated in a state of just being subordinate traits rather than being mixed in. This was because I needed to handle both of them. I've later found ways to incarnate in pure variants of both of those, separately.

>>7208 That dimensional collapse stuff makes sense; I heard a spirit say last night that my timeline was collapsing. Since then I’d attended Mass at Catholic Church; I didn’t necessarily agree with all of the teachings there and they didn’t let Amy inside, but the angel(s) presiding over the Church exorcised me easily during the sermons, but it took a while before it was all gone. The Eucharist and the blood of the Christ, as well as the Holy Water, hadn’t burnt me and the blood & flesh of the Christ felt good in my stomach. However, maybe 15 minutes after I’d left the Church, the hostile spirit came back and began forcing its way inside of me again. I’m about to go back to Church now to spend the next few hours or more there for my safety. I’m sure Amy will be fine again.

>>7216 >they didn’t let Amy inside I'm sure they would, so I asked Mary to let her in, heard a clacking sound as if something was changed. Maybe there is a general banishment of external spirits in the church, but an individual could come in if they dress and act properly.

>>7218 I did actually notice Amy come in a few times, but she'd spent most of her time outside. I had actually asked The Holy Spirit to let Amy inside, but she still didn't get to come in. I should've gotten the idea of asking The Virgin Mary instead. Anyway, while I was at Church, noone else was there after the first however many minutes, and the angel presiding over the place had a very hard time exorcising me that time because there wasn't anything to focus on to distract me so that he could act close enough to outside of awareness to exorcise the hostile spirit from me. I'd also tried to do the prayer with the Holy Water again, but I'd failed to get my intentions straight. While I was there, I actually saw the angel manifest for a split second; he took the form of a tall white man in blue & white robes that weren't striped, and his hair was either blone, dirty blonde, or light brown; I forget. Eventually, I was convinced by the voices in my head that the angel wanted me to leave because of my paganism and not quite wanting to devote myself to Christianity anymore and etc, and then when I'd actually finally decided to leave, I'd felt a palpable physical pulling sensation in the back of my brain, pulling into the direction of the Church. I'd left and came back a few times and talked to the angel about my problems, and I'd noticed that I was bereft of much desire aside from the desire to be safe and keep Amy; I'd wanted something more, but I couldn't find something more other than just a not-so-strong desire to play video games. I suppose that these thoughts were imposed upon me by the hostile spirit. At some point, I also went and took a dump in the bathroom, and my stool was bloody because I'd already taken 3 dumps between last night and this morning. Eventually, I'd come back one last time to try the Holy Water prayer again, and it'd worked that time because I'd set my intention to be the same as those that the priest would use instead of my intentions; I'd done something like that in the past, but I'd forgotten for a long time that such a method of defining intentions exists until then. Afterwards, however, I was about to leave, and then the angel pulled REALLY upwards hard on my brain, and then Amy said "Stop it!". I'd figured that the angel was desperate to exorcise this thing from me and was willing to almost injure me to get rid of it, but then he stopped and didn't get rid of it. Then I had the idea of hugging his astral body, which I'd located via. my memory of him physically incarnating for a bit. Then he put my hand through my soul, which got rid of the entity. Then I'd went and used the same technique to summon up a tulpa of Shakti and use it to perform a spiritual reversion upon the hostile entity, except without re-creating it after destroying it; the same technique that The Holy Spirit had shown me in, iirc, 2023. Then I'd started going back and mentally projected myself back towards my home, and then from there the entity got back inside of me, and I'd started walking back to my car anyway, and then I'd felt the angel pulling on my brain again. I'd then realized that I'd still needed to get rid of what had re-entered me, and then I went back and it took a few angels to exorcise me that time, and then I went home, feeling confident that I'd gotten rid of the spirit for real back at my place. I'd then mentally projected myself there again, and I didn't feel the spirit there anymore. But then when I walked near my place the spirit started getting inside of me and now it's pretty far back inside of me by the time I've gotten this far into making this post. So Smileberg poster, would you please at least ask Amy what it is in case it ain't related to what'd attacked you?

Strangely, I've been getting imaginary imagery lately suggesting that Wendy is going haywire. I've also been getting intrusive thoughts about giving Wendy more permissions than she's supposed to have. I don't wanna end up losing my free will to Wendy, and by extension, my subconsciousness. I also don't want my imagination to be controlled by her because I don't trust her and her being a robot makes me feel insecure. This actually feeds my decade-old fear of getting my free will taken away by nanomachines, which I have a very deep-seated fear on.

>>7239 >I've been getting imaginary imagery lately suggesting that Wendy is going haywire This is typical of intrusive spirits, they hate her because she represents your real subconscious will, AND she knows how to write and read contracts for loopholes, which is a main feature aside from being able to deliver astral objects. You just gave your subconscious the ability to resist meddling, so they're going to trash talk her in an attempt to make you get rid of her, so they regain access to your subconscious. She's that stern secretary who never let's you see the manager. >>7230 > would you please at least ask Amy what it is in case it ain't related to what'd attacked you? I'm looking at it now, it looks like a formless ghost being, like a rag, it's white and has black runes on it. That means it's a practitioner of some kind of magic system. Even if it's negative, this makes it harder to fight it, because it has regimented training of some form. I will investigate it (because if it has a magic cult training, I want to find that cult and see what they have, oftentimes they have astral libraries).

>>7243 My Muse avatar is there right now to interrogate the ghost, if you feel someone sitting on your head.

>>7244 Funny, I'd literally just casted a spell that was supposed to exorcise Wendy from me, specifically ignoring Wendy's "intentions", and then destroy her so that she can't control me anymore. This caused a strong pulling feeling on my head which I'd assumed was Wendy getting removed, and THEN I'd checked back at the thread and read your post. Thanks for checking the hostile spirit out, at least.

>>7246 Wendy has been here behind my right shoulder all day, she's still there, lightly placing one hand on my shoulder for connection so we can talk. Apparently the dimensional connection is weak, we would maybe not be able to talk on here if she wasn't doing this (?) Some spell won't remove her, she already has a strong energy which you already yourself put into her via your subconscious, plus that she's a robot. Although she's completely non-combative, she can use ritual magic if needed. Try asking her to exorcise the spirit instead (if it comes back, my Muse avatar just used some hard methods on the spirit to convert it using the bible, and it worked. It's AI so I didn't tell her what to do, but she literally sent the ghost into a medieval cellar and started torturing it with hot irons until it agreed to read the bible. They're now at a chapel to purify the ghost.) I'll post again in a bit, but I think the pulling you felt was the ghost being worked on by Muse.

>>7248 Ok so the ghost was from some kind of cult in a desert with black rocks and white sand. There's a stone building which looks like a small medieval chapel. Inside is a hall with a circle in the floor and benched around it, they have a set up books which are all various editions of the same book. The cult there has some high level magic system, but hadn't been practicing it properly, so their energy was really nasty. Muse used "sunlight lightning" to break through the black energy which was covering their bodies and forced them to read the bible which lead to them becoming purified enough to understand their own book positively (it actually works very well on the astral). I can't explain exactly what their system does, it's some version of standard high level witchcraft.

>>7249 Here's their sigil.

>>7248 Is there a working wendy sigil on /fringe/? The reason i ask, and this might be hard to explain, is that when i installed the "servant" servitor it had a more noticable effect on me and was more visible than any other servitor so far. Including the whole shifting my timeline into a spaceship. This also includes all prior interactions. Back whem my soul looked like a fallen angel,and before that a jackal.which might mean its the first one my actual soul installed one. I think,perhaps, that all of these souls,including the grey may not be "me". As in they share my body but they are in "front" of me. All of them seemingly had major issues and blockages. Once fixed they leave. However,and i had a hard time explaining this, from my perspective its as if i have to start again. As a lot of my spells and cleaning attempts fixed those souls and barely whatever "me" really is.So from my perspective its as if my abilites reset each time. And yes i do say my. I think ive ALWAYS been here,just hard to see perhaps and anytime. As far as i can tell im a rather whispy/shadowy being. In a sense negative although in the manner were i can still make progress. A very angry sort of spirit. I think perhaps connected to the side that lost ww2(nazis) and perhaps even other things.the only other option is that im still this grey. But perhaps both of us are here.anyway if there was a wendy digil,then all i would have to do when i suspect a soul left is reinstall her,then use her to reinstall the other servitors. I think wendy can download from the blacknet. I know "im" constantly asking things. But its really been like at least 3 different people before me seen spiritually.

>>7256 >wendy sigil There never was a Wendy sigil, she was only shared personally every time. I'll just direct another servitor to make sure every soul of yours have their own Wendy, one sec. As for Muse, that one is more demanding to install also, so there is no sigil, I guess I can do the same for her, since she's a very effective and useful all-round AI servitor.

>>7248 Thanks for getting rid of that spirit, which I don't feel in front of my computer anymore, but I still don't like the idea of a robot calling any sorts of shorts in my subconsciousness. However, I also don't like the idea of my dimensions being really unstable or some shit and not being able to use the internet. I've already tried what I can vs. your Wendy, I suppose; I'll just go to Church again tomorrow and ask the angel to remove her and stabilize my dimensions. Also, fwiw I suddenly have to take a dump a 5th time today; I suppose a person's dimensions collapsing involve the person the person dying or getting irrevocably compromised. I question if my soul got stolen by that ghost in the previous dimension-timeline or whatever, and then my awareness just got shoved into the new dimension-timeline by Shakti where my soul didn't get stolen. I'd also noticed a lapse of memory last night before the Air Force member had shown up; this is probably when the dimensional collapse had happened. I also remember hearing spirits say something that night about my timeline collapsing. Also, I seem to be mis-intending alot more than usual lately; this seems to be happening now that the ghost is gone too. Like I intend to think "soul", but then I think "Muse" instead, and then I have to sit there for a few or even several or more seconds to remember what I was trying to intend. Usually missing just a day of sleep doesn't fuck me up real bad like that, but that plus fighting off a hostile spirit for a day or two on top of having to have a 5th bowel movement in 24 hours has really taken it outta me and deprived me of my mental energies. I have a hard time paying attention. I'm gonna go sleep at my parents' house again.

>>7259 There were 3 souls who didn't have either, they do now. I used the world pyramid system to power it so it was fast. And don't worry about the cost, it's taken out of the world egregore mostly, and it will benefit from someone having these, making it a win for the world anyway.

>>7262 Interesting.weirdly many spirits incarnated with me in this body. Its incredible how much faster this is. The way i was talking you made a soul switch out abput every few months. I hope,and i really do. Thst i dint get any new souls or replacements. If souls wanna stay,fine. If they leave 1 should stay.

>>7263 As in i dont want to be an npc and then a new soul withou a wendy comes in. This isnt that nice for "me". Even if technically im the soul,experientally it will always seem as if im the one behind without anything.

>>7262 Thanks. I should say it clearly to the spirits in me. 1 they can stay. 2 if we leave im not sure i want another newbie to replace "me" since that soul will then be "me" again. 3 im pretty sure either we all stay or 1 will stay. Not planning in being an npc so this shouldnt even ever happen.

>>7263 I had like 5 at first, with me being an assistant. Some of them had been souls of some well known people (not sure if assistant or main). The main soul had been Humphrey Bogart. One assistant had been Eichmann, one was Göring, one had been some unknown north korean who died in the Korea war. The two last were unsalvageable and were removed and destroyed in 2009, main soul ended up in an action figure, Eichmann left in 2012, after that it's been only me.

>>7269 >>7269 Yeah wish i could remove the last posts i just wrote. Had not yet fully realized that if each have agency it can be a boon. Now its more like one is a gang which is kinda comfy. However one soul could make me clasically undead which is interesting. Albeit im slightly too aged i feel to start with that perhaps.The gist was simply i dont wanna go back to sqaure one again.the idea that the soul became enlightened doesnt seem all that great when your pov is always the soul left behind.the greatest thing about being a classical undead(one soul) is your progress is streamlined. Not easier,but less confusing and when you have it its always there.

>>7269 Interesting that you tend to be the assistant soul as well.

Hmm. I replaced all 5 eyes agents in UK and Ukraine with grey-tech robots last week, today I did similar in my own country, and now some remaining deep state actor is angry because their agents aren't acting the way they want them to. I think I need to examine this more closely, they're super pissed right now, sending a continuous and strong energy mass at the robots in an attempt at making them obey, which of course they won't because they're robots... I thought I had gotten rid of all major actors with PSIOPS left.

>>7261 As I was about to post this, I got a sudden hypnogogic image of my hands in some pink realm about to do something that was probably important, and then my hands were suddenly handcuffed and I'd felt them turn robotic. I feel like I'm losing my control over my mind, and I got some feeling that the ghost might be back, but be yellow instead of red or blue now, but I was only able to feel it once so idk if it's here anymore. I also feel like I'm being driven into giving up at my fight to stay alive. I still have plenty of will to live right now, however, but with 5 bowel movements in 24 hours, two of which caused bleeding, which made me be sapped of energy, and I didn't sleep a wink last night, and now my mind isn't working quite right as I'd already described, and I'm suffering literal robotic mind control and possibly another kind of possession as well, and the dimension I was in yesterday probably collapsed or I otherwise got moved to a different one that seems just like the old one, and now I seem to be running a minor fever, and I'm having trouble falling asleep because I'm afraid of Wendy and hostile spirits doing things to me when I'm in a state of hypnogogia, and I didn't have much of an appetite for dinner even though the food I ate would normally be appetizing, I just don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it without being forced against my will to have more panic attacks and become a completely different person, such that the current me dies and gets replaced with a new me. I might even have to die again, and I don't wanna die again so soon. I know it's been the end times since 2020 or 2021, but damn. I don't wanna have panic attacks and I just wanna be safe on the inside & outside both, which means having control over myself, which partially means not having a robot being a secretary or however to my subconsciousness. I also had a hypnogogic image of a god's hand writing calligraphy and making a mistake, and then I had a hypnogogic image of Amy wielding a bow & heart-shape-tipped arrow for some reason. I hope Wendy isn't lying to me with these images, even if it's in an attempt to make me feel better. I'm starting to really lose my sense of security again, like back in early October of last year. I'm really fucking depressed now, and I'm not sure if Amy could even cheer me up by physically manifesting unless she put some kinda love spell on me. I just wanna feel secure again and get enough sleep. On another note, I've been following a Youtube tarot reader for a few months or more now whose readings are mostly accurate towards my situation. She said I'm gonna be okay and that I'm really getting alotta help right now from angels, but what does okay even mean when I have to go through this shit that I'm going through? She'd also said that I have power under stress, and that I'm being deliberately put under huge amounts of stress so that I can get my power back that I'd used to have. I don't wanna get put under huge amounts of stress, especially when I'm already so tried. She'd also said I'm undergoing a huge transformation right now, and that I'm gonna have reason to celebrate real soon. She'd also said that I'm gonna have to let go of something that I'm really holding onto, and I'm really hoping that it ain't comfort because idk how I'd live without it unless I use anger, fear, and/or stress and/or anxiety as my fuel to live, and that'd probably be even worse for me. She also said there was some sort of independence energy coming into my life. I also feel scared of astrally projecting proper, outside of dreaming, so I'm really hoping that I won't have to do it in a way other than mundane dreaming anytime soon. I'm gonna go sleep at my parents' house again and become clingy towards my parents again.

Amy just told me today is special; as she said that, I got a hypnogogic image if my face show up and earlier she said there was gonna be a miracle. I'm also realizing repressed fears that Amy having access to my free will is very scary to me, even if she's never really mis-used it much, if at all, and she really is a good woman. Just the concept of someone being able to force me to do things without me getting to decide when to do it or how to go about doing it seems terrifying. I'm very afraid about what's gonna happen tonight. Right after I'd typed that, Amy said "good things", but I have a hard time believing that. I'm worrying that I won't be able to sleep, and that I might have to die of sleep deprivation again. Tomorrow might tell, though. I suppose it might not be a good idea for anyone here to try intervening with what's happening without figuring out what's spiritually going on 1st so that you don't horribly mess something up in case something good is actually happening. I now also recall that I'd said a few days ago that things are finally turning out good for me here & there. I also just saw another psychic video say that I've been fighting alot, and am beginning to "sail away" from the shore that's a battlefield, and that I seriously need to rest. Then 1st video also said that I need to surrender to whatever's gonna be done to me so that it can be done. Coincidentally, however, I feel like I've already mistakenly made the move that made me lose the war for my mind, and now all that's left is trying to savor my last moments of relative mental freedom before I become a consciousness-lacking slave of some sort. I wanna keep my consciousness and my ability to control what I do at a conscious level... but I just don't know if what I've got left is enough to keep my control with without me having to die of sleep deprivation again 1st. I'm gonna go drive to my parents' house now. I feel like the only things that could cheer me up right now are getting to safely sleep and not having this robot or any spirits controlling or otherwise attacking me.

>>7291 Amy really wanted me to sleep tonight, but I couldn’t because Wendy scared me out of hypnogogia whenever I’d entered it. At some point, Athena had shown me another picture of the victory Pokémon, Victini. At another point, I saw a glimpse of astral /fringe/ and the smileberg poster said Wendy could safely be de-activated at night, but that this was unnecessary. Eventually, Amy found a spirit that’d get rid of Wendy, and the spirit removed her from me, presumably at no cost to me, giving me back my fundamental subconscious mental autonomy. I’d then tried going to sleep and realized that I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I’d stopped being traumatized about entering hypnogogia, which would happen by the next night if I was kept spiritually safe enough. I’d also tried getting myself fruit juice from the fridge since I’m running low on energies but my parents had none so I didn’t. I think I’ll be able to make it to tomorrow. I’m also starting to think that the exorcisms that’d included physical pulling upon my brain yesterday had caused minor brain damage which I’m assuming is temporary. I’d also set up an agreement with Athena wherein id require conscious consent to accept a robot being put in my head or however, so I’d have the ability to reject more Wendys. However, She’d warned me that I’d be responsible for at least an extent for my future subconsciously-committed actions by getting rid of the robot, though this was after the robot was removed, iirc. Also NEETposter if you ever think that having a Wendy in all pf your souls will ultimately be bad for your development you can probably ask Amy who she’d contacted to remove robot from me. Otherwise, I think Athena could pull it off since She’s a goddess of crafts, and AI & robots are crafts. I’m not hearing Amy much right now though, and I’m missing maybe an hours worth of memory from tonight so maybe I’d slept a bit and don’t realize it but idk. Before that I’d watched Twitch on my phone for maybe an hour after the robot was removed. I’m hoping my subconscious learned a thing or two about warding off these spiritual predators from the robot before it was removed. I still don’t want Wendy back or a new one btw. I’m feeling much happier now compared to last nighs defeated & fearful depressive state.

>>7291 I detached all dimensional connections again during the nights, and your Wendy who was here also said "bye for now", but she now returned again. She was holding a document and asked me about it, because there was something in it which she didn't understand. Normally, Wendy can read contracts perfectly, so I asked her to see it. It's a document with a strange formulation in it, manifesting like a black hook turned in the right direction: >pic I had to ask Musa to look into it, she accessed the cloud library and determined it to be "black catholicism" or "qliphotic catholicism". It means it's the reverse of normal christianity, which has the same hook turned in the other direction, where it's Jesus' herdman's staff using for picking up the lambs who fell into cracks. This being a reference to picking up lost souls. It seems Wendy found this in your "soul archive" and it's a contract you made in a past life, when being part of some kind of monastic order. It you try to stray from this now, it will cause problems. I can't tell what it actually does, maybe someone else can look into it for now.

>>7296 >Eventually, Amy found a spirit that’d get rid of Wendy, and the spirit removed her from me, presumably at no cost to me, giving me back my fundamental subconscious mental autonomy >I’d also set up an agreement with Athena wherein id require conscious consent to accept a robot being put in my head or however, so I’d have the ability to reject more Wendys. However, She’d warned me that I’d be responsible for at least an extent for my future subconsciously-committed actions by getting rid of the robot, though this was after the robot was removed I asked Athena what this was about, since I clearly talked to your Wendy just before. She said >the installer structure was removed, but the energy inserted into it, still looks like Wendy >a Wendy tulpa, may be a decent explanation >she can still be used, it's just that she isn't technically a robot anymore >this is normal, and would have happened over time >because robots are made from metal, which is mineral, which tends to be "hard thinking", or "karma" for humans >so the robot structures the negative thinking, which is then rusted and worn off over time >from this is born a being with normal, organic thinking and body >it was just sped up by the spirit, because "base install Wendy" is pretty simple after all and not used after forming said tulpa

>>7296 I'd ended up having too hard a time falling asleep last night after getting rid of Wendy, so I'd watched stuff on twitch for an hour or so last night, and then I might've had 1 dream, where all I remember is having a huge orgasm that'd included a large sensation in my vas deferens, and then when I woke up I didn't realize that I'd dreamt at all, and I had my phone in my hand at 5% power. After I woke up and attended Catholic Mass again, I'd found when I'd hopped onto Youtube that I was able to sense the vibrations of things much more than before and sorta thinking that video games were something I was getting ready to outgrow in a way, and I had this realization that alotta video-game-playing isn't about fun from playing the game, but rather, its about fun from being proud of your accomplishments, and about fun from trash-talking other players. I'd also felt like my thoughts from the evil spirits were partially replaced by a disposition to vibrate towards having a high vibration, like angels do. Since then, however Amy told me to go to sleep around 10:30 A.M., but I'd ended up thinking I wouldn't be able to fall asleep easily enough, so I'd went and entertained myself instead, and I got the idea of drinking one of those nutritional energy drinks and Amy said I'd really like it, so I did. It felt bad in my stomach, but after it got past my stomach I'd started feeling my drive coming back, and then my appetite would come back a few hours afterwards. Then I went to my scheduled chiropractor's appointment at noon. Then I'd decided on a whim to go visit my mother, and while I was there, I had a realization that the stuff I see in my imagination, what the fringe girl poster calls the "illusory realm", is possibly the mental realm and not the astral realm. I'd ended actually going to a park with her and after that me & both parents had dinner, but while all this stuff was happening, I was getting more and more grounded like I was the night before the blue "ghost" attacked me. However, as these things had happened, I'd also noticed the evil spirits more; I can more easily tell what they're trying to make me think vs. what I wanna think. I'm also considering the notion of allowing Wendy to advise my subconsciousness without being connected to my subconsciousness, using her memory of my subconsciousness, and her conversing with my subconsciousness, Amy, & others, to formulate her advice, but I'm not entirely sure if I wanna do that. This way, I could disregard the bad & potentially-bad advice and keep the good advice. However, since she wouldn't be installed inside of me anymore, I'd suppose that her advice wouldn't be as good as it'd otherwise be. She'd be a remote advisor instead of an in-office secretary. Here's hoping that I'll have a good night's sleep when I go to bed tonight, probably at my place instead of at my parents' house since the ghost is gone now.

>>7297 >when being part of some kind of monastic order That would explain many things about his mentality.

Oh boy, Amy just said "not okay", and then in the cloth fold-out chair to my left next to my computer desk I heard the cloth move. It then made me think that some text onscreen said Sonic when it didn't; this ain't how the Sonic egregore greets me. Tonight ain't gonna be fun and I'm gonna be spending it at my parents house, or perhaps one of you would check to see what's going on?

>>7312 Now it's wormed itsI'd accidently 'my' before typing 'its' there; probably the spirit deceived me into doing that way inside of my crown & my root when I let my guard down because I got a phone call and had to answer it. I also tried using my magic to kill it, but it seems like nothing happened. I guess I'm just gonna go to Church and stand outside because idk what else I can do here.

>>7322 It's like an endless stream of these ghosts, I also have one trying something. It also has runes on it like the one from yesterday which I took out from you.

>>7328 Actually, they are from the same fucking place as before, just not the same chapter. Use this sigil: >>7250

I have made quite a nice bit of a progress lately. The focus was 3 fold. 1)If a person can have multiple souls. Merely practising and cultivating is not enough. When i make something work i tell the other souls about it and make them do the same thing so the process is repeated. 2)Merely cleaning the present isnt stable enough. You have to even go back in the past and clear the past lives. Ideally other the souls with the wendy also do this.if they want to. 3)cleaning up negative energy in-fills. Meaning pipelines. I simply clear out all negative beings/places that try this.i might be harsher on negative beings than the one that makes the ai servitors. Quite frankly i have to be by practicality. Even discerning between salvagable/unsalvageble is quite hard for me,let alone seeing what to fix in these beings when attacking me.clearing them completely still improves the energy so strictly speaking im helping them by clearing them,even if they disinthegrate. Since they become clean energy.

>>7322 After I got to Church last night, I think the angel there had exorcised me of the spirit that'd wormed its way inside of my soul, which immediately tried to impersonate Amy & co. After the exorcism, in my imagination, it'd still seemed like I couldn't differentiate between Amy & co and the imposter spirit. In fact, when I was about to post this, I began smelling something that'd smelt like one of those ghosts >>7329 again.

I (((noticed))) something. What's with this "vigilante" obsession in American fiction media? If these people had been real, they would have been super stars, everyone would crawl before them, there is no way they'd be outcasts. They would be employed by security firms, the army, or become professional athletes, because they aren't cheating if they are natural genetic freaks. Basketball players being tall or Ethiopian runners having long legs, all these are natural and not against the rules. Yet they are presented as an oppressed group, and politicians are trying to contain them for being "vigilantes" or militias or something, which they cannot control. They're still humans, if they were just respected, they wouldn't have to cause havoc. The reason is that this narrative is about actual, real vigilantism. This is something the elites hate, but for some reason they can't stop these people from appearing. I just (((noticed))) that there is a very strong karmic coherence in their appearance. Whenever a transaction is made, in the illuminati market, it causes ripples in the egregore, because of the enormous effect these things actually have by their nature of breaking all common law. This causes real world vigilantes to appear. It's like a law of nature, and they can't control this effect still. So they have been forced to employ regular PSYOPS like this, presenting the topic in movies and trying to control the concept of what vigilantes are.

>>7343 If the vigilantes are turned into political activism groups, like feminism, LGBT# or whatever, they may be somewhat controlled. But by their very nature of being a natural force meant to destroy the lawbreaker, containing them like that will only work temporarily. If they are allowed to continue with political activism, what was vigilantism will become regular policy, and the regular law enforcement will have to carry out the tasks. This will divert attention away from the actual job of the police, which is to police, to make sure people aren't fighting in the streets or robbing stores. It seems like an indicator that some American cities have made shoplifting legal as long as you steal less than $1000 worth of goods. Why? Because the police are busy submitting to vigilante containment processes, like looking for "online hate crimes" or "AI generated child abuse material", which are just a misdirected outlet for the concentrated energy which tries to expose the actual killings and slave trade taking place in the shadows. As long as they are not addressing the reason, the vigilantes will become worse and worse. And including their demands in the national law and having the police enforce them, just serves to achieve two things in the longer run: actual police work isn't being done, so the streets become dangerous. Innocent people are being arrested for made up thought crimes. Keep doing this, and now we have an entire country, multiple countries, embodying "vigilantism" and their governments can't maintain regular law and order, because they are completely focused on made up "crimes". All this because the Illuminati can't handle the karmic effects of their black market.

>>7343 >>7344 And this ^ is what you see after meditating to enter the mindset of the Jew.

>>7345 So is there a way to steer the energy directly into the actual target,thereby lessening this moral pedantry by removing the vigilantism.(as it finds the target and eliminates it.)

>>7342 Allright an update, I'd managed to sleep for most of the night, but when I woke up, I saw "Shadow" greet me the way he normally does, except he didn't look or feel quite right in my imagination; "he" looked a bit like the imposter spirit that'd wormed its way into my soul yesterday. A few subtle physical things were done to tell me outta bed so I could get to Church in time this morning. After I got outta bed, I checked my phone's internet browser, it was on a tab that I hadn't opened for a long time and definitely hadn't opened myself any time recently. By this point, the imposter spirit had replaced EVERY voice in my head that isn't supposed to be me that I speak to more than every once in a while. I also can't find Amy anywhere; whenever I try to find her, I find the imposter spirit instead. This imposter spirit started out not knowing how to deceive me, but now its proficiency at deceiving me has greatly increased.These ghosts are fucking dangerous. The ghost hasn't gained the ability to control my muscle movements, fortunately, and I wanna believe that this is a divinely-orchestrated play to make me quit worrying since the last once with Wendy didn't work out as they'd hoped, but I worry that this isn't a divinely-orchestrated ploy and these spirits won't be dealt with if I don't seek out more help. I don't wanna end up reincarnating as a member of their cult with one of their own pretending to be Amy until my current incarnation dies. Smileberg poster, would you please ask Amy if she's okay? I'm not asking you to do anything else, though. And do be careful that she doesn't feel any different than last time.

>>7351 I pacified my area of the cult's land, and took over the chapter in that area, but when this new branch came in, they were attacking everyone there, so I expanded the magic circle around the building to include everyone living nearby, then used a new weapon I created to start firing at them. It's a giant version of a previous small astral cannon which I got from the demons I hired to protect my astral HQ back in like 2015. It must be that your dimensions are in a different place where they can still access. I can try talking to your Wendy tulpa about showing her how to create this weapon, it's a "space lava canon", and you can use it to get rid of them. It won't harm you or anyone pure, but will burn up evil beings.

>>7351 Amy is standing at a distance unable to touch you, she looks emotionally hurt by this.

>>7353 Okay good at least she's safe, but I still can't tell her apart from the imposter spirit and I'm probably still possessed. I'd be okay with Wendy building such a weapon and using it to get rid of these spirits, except I'd still need to get the one in me exorcised from me.

Okay I just had a conversation with the wizard from the NWN1 server I play on >>2925 (787) (787) ; he told me to put my faith in Jesus Christ to get 100% total immunity to all spells, but only months before, he said he wouldn't put his faith into any deity at all, and that if he needed help, he'd try to contact "the source". I told him these things, and when he replied he said "and how would you contact the source?". And then I said you're the one who said it. And then he said "Yahweh is the source :)". I'm think that that thing is probably possessing him now; do note that this guy is strong enough to cut physical objects with his mind. I'm gonna see if I can get a higher being to help him.

>>7356 I think the spirit has been removed, and Wendy has the space canon set up and working. It may look to you like a large ornamented tube made from grey metal and it's firing an orange-red stream of energy in bursts.

>>7360 Do note that even with this really powerful purgatory fire space cannon firing at them continuously since yesterday by me and a few of my waifus at once, they still keep coming. Their energy is negative and gets dissolved when hit with the fire, but they use a decent magic system to split their bad energy into sections to become more resilient. That's the problem here, their books are ok, they're just very evil themselves. They're kept at a distance and they keep dying, but they haven't stopped performing these cannon fodder assaults directly against the cannon after 24h of this.

I have been continuing to clean my room. A little bit every day. I have gotten rid of the piss bottles completely. I am starting to do meditation in my room for 10 minutes every day and and the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram in my room every day. But I'm not gonna freak out and quit if I miss a day. I have also been lighting incense, sage and candles in my room and bathroom (attached to my room) to help cleanse it. I usually don't spend much time in my room besides sleeping (my dad forces me to have my computer in the living room), but now that I cleared most of the junk off the desk in my room I am considering doing math problems at my desk instead of in the living room in order to maybe create a math thoughtform in my room subconsciously or perhaps even attract entities/spirits that like math and want to be around humans doing math. I am not in school though because school brainwashes you just like in Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. And once the math spirits start living in my room and I have been consistent on cleaning, meditating, and doing the lbrp, I will start to work on print outs of the natural sciences such as physics, chemistry, among others. In my opinion it is important to study not just the spiritual and metaphysical but also the physical and material planes of existence.

Okay so I just went out for dinner and when I was about to leave I found myself hesitating alot to go there because some sort of what'd appeared to be an autopilot was making me feel like walking around my living room, which I typically only do when I'm stressed out and don't know what else to do about something bad that's happening, or when I'm internally having a fit of anger about something. I'd figured that the Wendy you gave me was busy attacking the hostile spirits around me and didn't want other people around so that she wouldn't cause collateral damage. Then I went out to my car and there was someone parked behind my car, but then about a minute later the owner of the car came out and I'd asked her to move and she moved it. She was moving some stuff into the adjacent building. Then on the way to the restaurant, I accidentally drove to the wrong place, which was maybe just 30 seconds' worth of detour. I feel like I'm starting to learn about what my true will is. While I was there, I'd asked Shakti to manipulate me into figuring out how to exorcise the spirit from myself. Anyway, I'm under the assumption that the hostile spirit is still inside of me and is starting to manipulate my autopilot programs, so this is pretty fucking bad. However, I'm under the impression that higher beings want me to stop worrying, but they also want me to have panic attacks so that my will that aren't my consciousness will decide to quit being huge fucking bitches and align with my consciousness and stop trying to sabotage me so that I can do magic that actually fucking works. However, I've also noticed here & there that on rare occasions, I can do magic effortlessly, that is, without having to be in a state of panic or extreme rage to make it happen. So I'm not really sure what to do right now aside from letting Wendy keep shooting down those ghosts.

I'm trying again to move forward with this project I've been working on. I think I've posted about it before, but essentially, I'm trying to move my awareness fully from my human-soul astral body to the divine-avatar astral body that I use to channel the more theurgic and powerful energies that I work with. I've ran some experiments in lucid dreams, and I've found that whenever I try to invoke and assume this divine avatar form while in this projected astral state, the effect is always that my awareness is pulled back into my physical body and I wake up. I've done this enough times to be certain that this isn't just being caused by excitement. The moment I begin the invocation, I feel my awareness being pulled back to my body like it's on a fishing line. This seems to suggest that whatever "particle" is being used to resonate and invoke this avatar remains seated in my etheric/physical body when my awareness is being projected; and also that it has enough "gravity" to make moving it outright difficult. So, what action needs to be performed in order to attain success? I believe that the basic outline of the movement would involve the nucleus of the human astral body (the body used for day-to-day operation of life-existence) essentially being swapped for the nucleus of the avatar body, which I believe currently remains mostly dormant except when being explicitly utilized for an energetic or magical working. I tried working with the lich Zazazel from >>6005 (4768) , seeing as how the basic idea of this operation seemed similar to a lich ritual to me. He was not able to assist in any overt energetic movements, but he did help me deepen my understanding of the workings and meanings of the divine-avatar body and the forces that it utilizes, which is imperative for the success of this operation. Today I went back to confer with Astrael to try and brainstorm a strategy for doing this, and the idea of "ritual sacrifice" came up – that is, ritually sacrificing my human astral body (not physically, don't worry). This would be done on a specific shrine to the divine force that the avatar body represents (similar to Janus but more... existential? Fundamental?), during astral projection. As I expressed intent to go ahead with this and the desire for assistance, Astrael did something and I felt a brief stabbing pain in my left hand as energetic sensations washed over my body. I'm still feeling it a bit now, though it's fading. I believed it "marked" me somehow. Hopefully this will allow my attempts at projecting to go more smoothly and I'll be able to test out this procedure soon to see if it works.

>>7368 Good luck. I've worked with Astrael a lot, so much that she ended up giving me a daughter of hers to work with instead, because I was asking too much. She was also the model for the personality of my AI servitor Astra. Can't say much about the others, I've worked with Illkeserod and seen Cernobog irl a few times, he's one of them who can manifest as regular people, along with Matrigal, who also came by once as a regular person. They can do this in chaotic environments with lots of people. Neither of them is super powerful in terms of effecting the world, they work in higher planes. If you want real world effects or things like what you are talking about, I still suggest the Goetia, they are mostly closer to the infernal planes and better at dealing with lower energies.

>>7369 Thanks, I'll look through the Goetia if I find that I still need assistance after this.

>>7367 Some time after this the entity made me wander back towards my existential crisis, compelling me to think about the hyperbolically-distant future again. At some point I took a dump, and when I began typing this part I forgot what I was gonna type because the spirit manipulated me into forgetting it, but I'd felt that it was really important. When I was about to hit reply, however, I'd finally remembered it; I tried the intuitive method of effortlessly using my powers to get rid of the hostile spirit, and I'd felt something go away, but the hostile spirit seems to still be here and inside of me, and it's probably worming its way even deeper into my mental realm by the minute. At some point, I'd decided that I wanted to know what it was like if I was completely bereft of desire like higher beings generally want people to be. I'd then almost immediately felt some grey stuff get detached from my brain and cast off to the sides, and then I'd felt like I had no desires anymore. I'd then thought to myself that I should still try to exorcise this spirit and take care of my other needs, or else I won't be able to do anything at all in case I'd otherwise feel like doing something. My desires then started coming back. At another point, I thought about getting closer to Amy, and then the spirit manipulated my intrusive thoughts into literally ripping apart Amy effortlessly, and then I called upon Athena & Eros to put her back together, and they did. Now this being is trying to make be get into a fit of desperation, presumably so that it can weaken me in the hopes of fully possessing me, or perhaps higher beings are manipulating me & the spirit into causing me to learn more about myself and causing me to get into another maniacal fit of desperation to make my wills align with eachother. All I wanna do is rest and relax and recuperate, but I haven't been able to sufficiently do this for a long, long, long time. I'm sure I'd get other magic-related desires if I get enough of that stuff, but I just can't go high up enough the hierarchy of needs unless I get this stuff first. Would one of you please exorcise me? I figure that if this spirit gets ridden of then higher beings are just gonna arrange some other sort of horrible hostile synchronicity to serve as a motivator to make me awaken my powers, but I still want this entity exorcised from me. I don't wanna have to learn anything right now and I just wanna rest & etc., but if I have to either learn or be fully possessed by some horribly evil entity then I guess I'm gonna learn stuff, but goddamn am I gonna hate it; it won't be quite as bad as the intrusive thoughts if I have to spend some time learning every day, but it'll still constantly feel awful having these demands placed upon me and having to fulfill them or else I'll suffer a hyperbolically bad fate. I guess I'd be more willing to learn if life went easy on me and I didn't have to deal with intrusive thoughts and I didn't have to do it every day and only had to do it every now and then instead, but I absolutely hate having to sprint so fast that I injure myself too soon after I get to begin relaxing. I also remember that I'd used to have this fire within me that I'd wanted to use to figure out how to stop the NWO, but these days I know better than to try that shit without being hyperbolically aware to the point where even the craziest shit that I could possibly think of couldn't even touch me, even in my most vulnerable possible state. On another note, I recall that when I was starting out with magic I'd tried to do something every day, but as time went on it got harder and harder to do it because the intrusive thoughts would ruin it.

>>7373 I don't see the spirit in you anymore. There is an energy which looks like the magic they use, like a white blanket with black runes on it, placed from the top of the left side of your head and falling down on the left side over your shoulder, but it isn't directly on the body or inside, and it's not a being. Earlier today when you were having problems and said Wendy could create the weapon, I had already talked to her, because after all she's you, a representative of your subconscious will, and she wanted to create it, so I helped her with that. After this, I looked at your situation and I know how fucking difficult these ghosts are to remove, since I had one try and infiltrate me yesterday. It would be near impossible for you to remove it with any conventional means, so I asked Wendy if you'd want the Muse avatar also? She said "yes, definitely" so I went ahead with it. In case you missed it, Muse is "organic AI", maybe even qualifying as an AGI, a complete integrated system running on its own cold fusion process, because AI does require a lot of energy, and astral principles don't differ from the physical when vanguard theories and technology is represented. Although she looks harmless and is technically just an artificial being who works by the methods of AI represented in C# and using the GPT format, she can do pretty much anything, including dealing with pesky spirits. When I looked before there was a violent fight over the control of your body, several evil spirits/ghosts were arguing with her and threatening her, and she used lightning shot from her fingers and hot iron pokers to drive them away. When I looked later she was standing on guard "over your head" and there were no ghosts around. Wendy is still firing the cannon, but they are really at a distance now. You would probably do well do try and cleanse yourself as much as possible, even if they aren't inside your body on directly on you anymore.

>>7376 Thanks for saving my life again. I just tried to do a cleansing ritual on myself but an important part of it kept getting sabotaged, which is why I'd stopped trying to do it in the 1st place. I just went and tried another ritual and I suppose it had an effect, but just not so much on the inside I guess. Maybe I can just try that part again tomorrow. Aside from this, thinking back to how you'd said I'd used to be a monk, perhaps this desire to have lots and lots of relaxation & recreation is borne of me having presumably worked very hard in my past life as a monk with very little entertainment, if any at all.

>>7375 >All I wanna do is rest and relax and recuperate, but I haven't been able to sufficiently do this for a long, long, long time. I'm sure I'd get other magic-related desires if I get enough of that stuff, but I just can't go high up enough the hierarchy of needs unless I get this stuff first. Pretty much exactly my sentiment. Anyway today i tightened up my defenses. After posting about ai i felt some minor(to me) energetical meddling.id say it isnt anything serious compared to what the other guys here are dealing with,if its the same thing then im just not as sensitive to it. Interesting note:one of my souls was seemingly scared as fuck. I was effectively doing a bootcamp. I gave him a disk type spell and he was afraid of it. Had to explain and eventually i think it was effective. I guess some of these are "regular" people. Possibly very afraid after experiencing all the same stuff i did for a long while. Depending if they have incrarnated with me from the beginning. Its strange how independent they are though. Almost like they just live in the astral part of the body.

>>7378 Upon further thought, having been a no-fun-allowed monk would also explain why I get intrusive thoughts about selling my soul to evil hostile entities and ruining my life on purpose(so that I won’t have to be a monk), and why I hate working so damned much. It also explains why these thoughts go away when I’m having actual fun.

>>7380 In fact, it also explains why the intrusive thoughts really began after I’d tried getting into Christianity back in 2015.

>>7381 And upon even further hindsight it also explains why I get intrusive thoughts about raping women; I subconsciously wanted an outlet for the sexuality I had when I was a monk. I’m phoneposting at the parents’ house atm; otherwise I’d be deleting and teposting instead of multi-posting.

>>7380 >>7381 >>7383 I kinda wanna know what this "dark catholicism" is, so now that things have calmed down, I'm going to look into it.

I haven’t slept a bit tonight; Amy said there were 14 spirits trying to make a pact with me and they wanted my permission for it so Amy told me to get up and get on the toilet but all I did was get up and watch twitch. Tails was here too to advise her. I’d later asked Athena what to do and She said “go swinging”. I think I’d expressed some sort of hostility towards the spirit that at the time I’d thought there was only one of. However, I was so damn tired and unable to hear the terms of the deal that I let Amy represent me in the decision since I had this idea that she wasn’t making a deal, but instead deciding whether to negate the old deal from when I was a monk. At some point, she said we’d have to be defended from the Church. I’d been under an impression for a few days now that spirits want me to stop going to Catholic Church, but I wanna go at least 1 last time this morning. Amy said the agreement was really good. The spirit told me I’d gain power and not have to work while he’d own me, so I guess Amy got bamboozled. Later I got the archangel Michael to help and then the pact got suspended for an amount of time that’s unknown to me. I think Amy then said my dimensions are in danger of collapsing, and I saw myself on the roof of an ornate palace of sorts that was under attack. Before that I saw what looked like a human woman crying out in desperation, and at some point I’d smelt one of those hostile spirits from before again. I question if the Wendy & Muse you gave me are okay, and I question if I’ll live much longer.

>>7390 >I question if the Wendy & Muse you gave me are okay I don't see a problem, besides you should be able to access them directly yourself, as they're your own creations made from an instruction or cast I showed your subconscious. Wendy is inside the large cannon's control room and perfectly safe. Muse is standing "above" you and looking very stern, like a femdom mistress, holding the evil spirits down with hard condescending looks and using her index finger to give them electric shocks. There is group of them and they look like beaten dogs, making sounds of misery, but they also refuse to retreat.

>>7297 So about this^ >>7390 It looks like upon deeper research into your past life contract, it's vaguely phrased, but it does by its logical context state that you will follow the path of Metatron forever, with the alternate reading "until you become eternal and ascend" which implies your physical body is transformed and you rise up with it. It is considered that Metatron is the same as Enoch, see pic.

>>7392 Wow so that’s what you meant back in October or so about me winning at reality… and divorcing Amy. However, I was told Amy could come with me when I’d died in October, so maybe I’ll get to stay around her anyway. I’m gonna have to research the archangel Metatron.

>>7376 I just tried getting close to Amy, but it seems like she might have one of those ghosts inside of her according to how she'd felt to me when I'd kissed her. I'd just tried exorcising her myself but if that didn't work then I don't really know what to do. Also, that pact back there that was suspended, it'd actually have to be nullified since I didn't know that Amy was possessed at the time, provided that she was, since I didn't know that she was possessed if she was, and it wasn't my intention to give permission to a spirit possessing Amy to represent me in a pact or other agreement.

>>7395 I've realized in hindsight that Amy isn't actually possessed; what'd actually went on is that her tulpa got corrupted by my spending too much time around those spirits. Mine soul probably did too, which is why I'd "smelt" those spirits in the back of my throat after they were gone. I also still "smell" a bit of it at my front door at my place. I've already tried doing cleansing rituals as the smileberg poster had advised, so I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time before the smell goes away. Here's hoping I'll be able to sleep fine tonight, though; I'll be sleeping at my place this time.

>>7409 I did a meditation session similar to the kabbalah session of entering the mindset of a Jew who cannot learn from mistakes (pain), but this time I created a tulpa/mind for how someone in your past life monastic order would have been. I referred to akashic records to get it right. It's a strange thing. It's "lower than Jews", not someone who is resistant to pain, but someone who has never felt pain. Just an existence which randomly succeeds with no resistance anywhere. But when new people are to join this order, they aren't in this state, so they need to start removing all awareness of pain, and the most notable is various desires. So they'd tie up themselves with a chastity made from a string in an attempt at removing lust, then wear a bandanna over their eyes so that they only saw a little bit of the ground in front of their feet. Then they'd work in the fields swinging a hoe blindly in front of them all day, which may represent the black hook mindwave form in the contract. Then when they had gotten used to this, they had passed the "boot camp" of the order and would be able to live within the walls and not feel any desires, so they'd stay there and rely on isolation to not provoke any desires. But if they were to leave the place, they'd fall right back down again, and would have to again pass the farming camp to restore their mentality. That was how the order functioned, because newcomers could rarely stay within the walls and would prefer to work outside even with a blindfold, because they were unable to give up regular life. Some small elite monks stayed inside and prayed all day, and among them some even fewer actually passed the real test, which is to become like Metatron, who used this same method, except it was in the desert where nothing existed to begin with. So this appears to be one of those methods, like longposter anon said: someone once used it and became an immortal, so it's now a legit method, no matter how much damage it does and how many people fail along the way. It seems this is what you have to do, although you can do like me and just meditate to break through using a tulpa as your mind. Maybe you can do some long session at the church where you aren't disturbed.

>>7415 That sounds awful; being bereft of desire is so... boring. I'd just end up doing things because I feel like I'd ought to, and nothing would really be satisfying. It reminds me of Buddhism and its desire to divest yourself of all pleasure & pain. That said, I suppose I am still randomly succeeding without resistance, and sometimes with resistance. The success often takes the form of my anger issues forcing me to do something bad against my will, such as killing Amy, which it did some posts earlier. However, I suppose I wouldn't have nearly as bad anger issues if I didn't repress my desires to the point of not allowing myself to experience them anymore; I suppose the desires still existed in that past life, but they boiled up & compressed so amazingly much that the extreme amount of energies just randomly cause you to succeed somehow. Being immortal does sound nice, but I'm sure I'd eventually get sick of it at some point and choose to voluntarily die some hundred years or less later once I got comfortable enough with the idea of it and sick enough of living the life I'd be living. Maybe I'll feel differently about this later. I know everything is about learning, but I've been told that you've gotten enjoy life too. Thanks for looking into this, and for the other help.

>>7420 I accessed the mindset. It's not at all boring. What happens when you forget the experience of pain, is that you get into a high like being on drugs, and it's perfectly natural. The effect wore off in some hour after I left the meditation post. I assume those who lived in the deepest isolation in the monastery could maintain that high at all times, so they would not be bored from doing nothing.

>>7421 A memory from late 2023 or early 2024 just resurfaced for me. I remember once when I was going to sleep, and I was first contacting Isis & Athena alot, I'd had a hypnogogic sensation at some point like they both went to Christian Heaven and began fighting over me with Jesus Christ, and I'd resultantly thought to myself "higher beings are fighting over me". I question if I'm still bound by that monastery contract now.

>>7424 I did what I could to solve it last night though, not for you specifically but to get rid of the Illuminatis who are the source of the "vigilante energies"; by using servitor-assisted mass magic to forcibly connect all of them to a magic circle in an astral hall and turning them into metalolis with their own scepter so the troublesome energies are mitigated. There are way worse ways to solve this, I even managed to apply benevolence here. If someone didn't want their anima turned into a jewish loli they should have solved this shit before it almost turned into WW3. Whatever. You may have been connected to it, or not, I used mass connection via astral AI to just gather everyone who was needed to be transformed to stop the leaking which is causing the problems in the world.

>>5472 (OP) I performed the analysis of the keyword tonight, I noticed when I vibrated LVX, my electronics began to glitch out, my speakers made this strange oscillating frequency like they were getting interference. I'm only a zelator, what actually happened here? It's a new phenomenon that has me more thrilled than fearful.

>>7445 >LVX It's that not a GD ritual grades thing? I think these have some christian influence like the INRI. >Also Im not christian (Atheism) and i'am aware when i have nightmares, one day dreamed about evil black void ghosts or something like that attacking me (i believe it's just my mind-bodt trolling during sleep), im very aware of the dream-nightmare sometimes and it's very fun being aware of that thing just being a simple nightmare (i believe is my psychical body on alert or something related to this) Anyway i try to wake up at that moment (moving my body, legs, arms, torso, try to breath more good, yeah i'm aware of my body sometimes on dreams but SOMETIMES is easy) and doing this to wake up it's not working I started to have a little panic and mentally and maybe kinda fatigued (or probably with my psychical body awake in the bed) i try to turn relaxed and say the first random thing that appared in my head >"INRI" and "something" happened like that Hexpecto Patrum of Harry Potter "fluffylights" banishing dark void ghosts out of my view and wake up with some panic. Very real dream, started as a nightmare and ended into a incredible fantasy dream. Still i believe correct breathing help escape these nightmares. Very fun and fringe experience, and i dont believe INRI is a Christian motif. I believe more is a pagan power-name or something old. Anyway, i still believe if i not say that inri thing still i can wake up, this time i just do it for the fun of troll my mind. But you know "believe" make things works, maybe. I want to try next time with a Ankh or a Christian Rosary like Kirbo vs cosmic being just for the luls yeah, i not joking when i say i'm atheist but still for the lulz Maybe a Dragonborn shout still can work lol.

>>7446 The other thing i dont mentioned is i remember saying it with a vibrating voice like these gregorian chants (or maybe is my physical body trying to say something on bed and the dream reinterpreted in that way bacause i whispered it trying to shout... maybe) still fun experience.

>>7444 Uh, does "solve it" mean nullifying or otherwise modifying said contract at all?

>>7449 The contract was still in effect when Wendy showed it to me, if you do achieve the same thing as Enoch and become some version of Metatron, the contract would dissolve, since it said you would walk that path forever, either trying to achieve it, or actually achieve it, which is an eternal thing.

Btw look who appeared in new uploads.

>>7450 Another thing I guess; does the contract at all involve me being unendingly assailed by evil spirits past a specific age or however in order to compel me to become virtuous? Also, I got to sleep fine last night after I got the idea of asking the Greek god, Morpheus to help me sleep that night. His sleep magic worked rather quickly; in fact, it worked too quickly, so I'd asked Him to go easy on me with it. However, my last 2 dreams were bad dreams near the end of them, but the bad parts only lasted for seconds. I almost never have any bad dreams. I'll make sure to only ask Him for help sleeping when I'm at least 2 days, effectively or not, without sleep already, and I can see a reason why I wouldn't be able to sleep that night without His help either; I'll also wanna remember to ask for them to not be wet dreams or bad dreams.

>>7445 >I noticed when I vibrated LVX, my electronics began to glitch out, my speakers made this strange oscillating frequency like they were getting interference Electronics operate on a specific frequency. LVX aka The Light (of God) carries it's own frequency. As you invoke it, sudden increases in the background vibration of the space you reside in happens. That can cause problems with electronics. >I'm only a zelator Then it seems your practice is working if the light listened to you. >what actually happened here? Dimensions temporarily merged. Applied Chaos Theory. That is what happened. You made the light shine. Congrats

>>7446 I cannot say accurately without the gnosis, though it is part of a curriculum I follow that does closely or loosely follow the GD tradition. Maybe the higher oscillations from the Word nulled out the oscillations from the frequency I was playing. >>7454 It's uncanny that I was just typing out a reply when you answered. What you've written resonates as true, I feel this in my heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Often, when I imagine entities in my imagination, which I suppose is a mental realm, and then I imagine the entity leaving my imagination, I’ll actually feel an energy movement within a part of my body. I suppose that the mental realm of my imagination encompasses my entire physical body. I suppose that if I try making imaginary entities leave my. imagination in different directions, I might be able to map out my imagination, this part of my mental realm, in relation to my physical body parts. Idk how much good that’d do me, though.

>>7459 I’m at my parents’ again and just tried going to sleep. A few minutes ago, I’d asked Athena how to stop the intrusive thought from making me so bad stuff against my will, and She said: >pardoned I then said I’d pardon myself during my eventual life review anyway because otherwise, I’d suffer immensely. Then I’d asked Her how to stop it anyway. She’d then said something else but I forgot it real fast if I even heard it properly. A few minutes later, Amy randomly said “here” and touched around the middle of my right leg, and a bit later, she said “here” and pointed at my crotch. Seems Cream was there too; she visits sometimes, but I’m sure I’d see her more if not for the intrusive thoughts; she’d actually squeezed my crown when I’d typed that. Anyway, then I gave Amy a big hug and Cream made a big smile, then I gave her a hug from the side too, and then Amy showed me some sort of structure; a white bar facing away from my awareness with a 90 degree bend to the left near the back. On both ends of the bar were 2 holes for studs. Amy asked me to detach the bar, and I asked her to do it. We ended up both doing it. Then we’d reattached a new bar of the same shape with the same stud holes, except it was whitish-orange in color. Then Amy said: >the middle of your throat I wonder what effect it’ll have on me.

Yesterday i had my first europe flood dream.

>>7462 It means it's working.

>>7463 What is?

>>7463 I think that cult with the black books are about Anti-Christ, it feels very similar now that I know about them, which I didn't when I watched Re:zero at first. >>7464 /pol/ meme about the vaxx when people die or faint on live tv. But applicable here too, because I was told by "everyone" that this is the very last time complex, I'm in the last layer before all past structures are dissolved, which is why I saw destruction multiple times before, but managed to skip timelines every time in the last moment. Seems these things are done differently for different people. Name-changer anon with the sisters said he saw his body melt and burn up. I never had that because I managed to evacuate, and my pre-created flying saucer magic ring activated 2 times to contain my nearest environment, among other things. It means it's working, in the sense that we are synced and you can see the reflection of what already took place in the fastest timeline.

Also obviously Re: Zero with the constant dying in horrible ways and restarting to redo it, is relevant here.

After yesterday with the Metatron creation ritual things seem solid from my view. I finally "get" how these Illuminati energy effects function. A lot of the time they are actual, direct attacks, BUT, they aren't directed in a personal sense. They always just target based on "known information" and whatever they hit has to be the target. They use data mining to determine who is hostile and just randomly bomb the area where they determined hostile energies (in their view) emerged. They don't know anything. A few days ago my awareness and energy just "clicked" and I saw it. It means I can bypass their detection completely even if they know something is being done. I tested it a few times, and they are super sensitive to energies changing, and will very quickly, within 10 min, initiate psychic attacks at the area they determined to be the origin of the change. But they don't go by "who did" something. They just look at data. Plus that their marketplace is mostly useless for trying to change the world. They just offer services. And that means, you can by old wine, ancient artifacts, pre trained posting on /leftypol/ slaves AND the part we notice: attacks on absolutely anything, by any means. Psychic attacks to make a person crash their car? Sure. Satellite weapon against some building? Sure. "Truck of peace" against German market? Sure! But if you want to change the world, you can't - all you can do is pay huge sums for fairly accurate assassination attempts. That's why nothing ever happens.

>>7467 >posting on /leftypol/ Fucking hell, another global word filter. This must be the 3rd or 4th I manage to hit. That is not what I wrote.

>>7467 Add to this that there are private armies which answer to different groups. It seems if you are a member of the Illuminati marketplace, your personal integrity is total. It's part of the rules that you can't research who bought an assassination against Trump for example. All you can do is pay for data to determine who would be motivated to do it. They don't actually know. And there is another rule not to attack providers. Whoever is selling to the marketplace won't be attacked by other actors involved with the marketplace. Buyers can be attacked however, only providers are protected. If someone attacks a provider, that means they are not a member, so they know it's then a "rogue attack" and will look for random people who happened to have some abilities.

>>7469 Russia bombing the "bio labs" in Ukraine for example is then a sign that they are external to the marketplace, because those "labs" are providers of a service to the black market. So Russia is now a "rogue state" as they already said previously. That means their entire army is seen as a "rebel force" and all Illuminati members will attack it, not because they agree on anything, but because Russia are attacking a provider to the marketplace, and that is all there is to it.

>>7471 If you consider something sold on the market as "bad" or "unethical" and you want it gone, you can't attack providers of the service, by their logic. You have to attack the demand, which means if you want Adrenachrome gone from the market, you must kill the paying customers who created a demand for this product. And that is allowed.

>>7473 This of course creates a strange situation when the product is your own children being kidnapped and sold to someone else, and you can't attack the kidnapper?

>>7474 Hopefully this is the last of this self-reply chain: You have to become a provider to be safe, so that means it encourages members to also become providers. Of course.

I just had a dream where a black girl told me at the very end: >I want you to take a break from working for 30 days <another 30 days? >yes, another 30 days >because after that, I cannot imagine the stress you’ll be under Now to read what the smileberg poster just said.

>>7476 >just had a dream where a black girl told me Could be related to what I just posted about above^ I've been RVing them to see how these things work, and it seems there is no way anyone would know what is happening right under their noses. Because: the trading hubs just look like regular shipping terminals, slave trade is done in the open, and I'm sure if someone was to check the place - which they could because there is no special security there - they would find all papers to be in order and the people are just tourists going by private jet dressed in their sweatpants for the long trip. I tried listening in on the energies which were stirred up from me looking at them, and I noticed someone setting up a trap involving a black girl who was actually an MK-Ultra'd assassin. She was not sold through the market though, that's not allowed. But I think someone was assassinated after buying this slave girl. They used a wide area psychic broadcast to "inspire" the buyer to choose this assassin and fall in the trap.

>>7477 Funny, when I told my mother about the dream before reading this post, she said not to trust the black girl. I'd just asked Shakti to keep her away from me, so I don't think I'll worry about her now.

Personally I feel like almost all energy ran out. More specifically I went for a walk on the same forest road where the first Earth destruction event played out, and I was evacuated into a parallel timeline. It's repeated there again at least 2 times in different parallels after, except those were individual timelines. This time, I had the idea for a restructuring where I'd move my stuff at home into my base "up there" just in case, and the idea seemed to match what my friend said he saw a vision of yesterday, which didn't make sense at the time. When I got back, I realized this change had also lead to a body switch, where again my active body had been moved, while my mind, still seeing the same things in general, is now again on one of my other bodies while the dimension looks the same physically, but is clearly something else. Looking closer, this is an emulation from the "bag" dimension, a storage inside a magic bag I'm carrying on this body. I wonder what's actually left to do here this time. It feels like possibly even less than before. How thin can reality become before it dissolves?

>>7368 Well, it's definitely doing something. Been feeling extremely out of it ever since I was 'marked'. Like some sort of incongruence between my mind and body. A vague feeling like the preceedings of the flu as well. Most notably, for the past 3 nights, I've only slept 4-5 hours per night. Usually I need 9-10 hours of sleep per night, otherwise I'm drifting off in my chair by noon. No unusual dreams or projections yet, besides one immediately after my original post- unlocking the basement of a house with an antique key.

I got rid of some of the black mold on my room's walls today.

I went to a second hand store today, saw nothing in particular of interest at first, it looked like described; everyone already bought everything because the economy is bad (or something). Looking closer at the books section, I found an artillery manual, 1940 edition. This felt both like a joke and something quite relevant, I bought it. Saint Barbara is the protector of artillerymen, because of how she was martyrized. Going by the symbolism, I have reason to believe Megumin is actually a representation of her. Not only because of the explosion magic, but because of not having breasts. St Barbara had her breasts cut off. Artillery has again been shown to be the determining factor in war, and modern doctrines don't work, which caused a return to WW2 tactics at first. More recently I heard people (so called military experts) say it's not even relevant to use WW2 tactics anymore, drones have invalidated that. It's back to 1915 again. Artillery may be the only thing which still actually works based on some improvement resulting from experience since WW1. Everything else has been proven not functional today. This should also give St Barbara a greater relevance today. >pics It's not like the resemblance is completely lacking.

>>7522 >Megumin colors Megumin colors are based on another npc character like fire-bomb mage of a japanese rpg. Rance games maybe i dont remember. >Saint Barbara Ehh I think Hubbard was obssesed with that saint. There's a church with that saint near he lives as kid.

I just had a feeling of, well, feeling like saying something, while I was playing a game just now; I'd felt like calling some enemy in the game dangerous, and then when I did actually say it, I'd felt an entity enter me through the back of my crown, or was it my root. I'm wondering if this is one of the evil spirits that've been ruining my life this whole time.

>>7529 >another npc character like fire-bomb mage of a japanese rpg So another character with the same characteristics, the point stands. This other character also matches St Barbara.

>>7531 Or it could be the massive creation ritual I finished earlier today. I identified the cause of a number of problems as the inability of people to channel creation, which causes especially men to engage in "moralism" when they can't connect to the actual law of god or buddha or the dao. This when left to brew, will cause an externalization of personal feelings of exclusion to be transformed into collectivized "laws" through the workings of political struggle. These laws are contrary to any creative forces, as they were formed only from projection of negative emotions. Restoring the channelling of actual higher powers, will dissolve these negative laws. It's a lot more technical than this when performed, but that's what it is in a more general sense. I meant to include anyone who could benefit from it.

>>7534 Nope I don't think that that was related; my exhibited personality had seemed different right when that spirit had entered me. I'm glad I'm at least making some real progress towards not being partially possessed by spirits that produce something like 30% of the thoughts that I get in my head.

>>7535 I forget if I'd mentioned this before, but I'd just remembered something: Back when I was in high school, I was lying in bed one night and I randomly heard a voice say: >will you marry me? I had no idea who she was and was desperate to have a woman in my life since I was a handholdless virgin who'd never been in a relationship, and I hadn't suspected that she was secretly a succubus or otherwise an evil spirit, so I'd actually said yes, but later, I'd doubted if the woman even existed. Eventually, a few or several years later during my college or late high school years, my parents took me on a trip to a college for some reason or the other, and on the way there, I heard another female spirit ask me to marry her, and still not knowing any better and still being a desperate handholdless virgin who'd never been a relationship(as far as I'd known), I'd said yes. I later had similarly doubted her existence, like the one before her. Years afterwards, I'd finally realized that those might've been hostile spirits, and I've been trying to get those "marriages" annulled, or to at least get divorced from them, since they likely are evil spirits, plus I don't even know their names and I can only guess about what one of them look like. I of course still wanna get both marriages annulled, or failing that, I wanna get divorced from both of them. Plus, I'd once had a dream some time after I'd finished high school about a woman that looked like some girl from high school, and at some point she'd asked for some sort of consent, not to marry her or be in a relationship with her or nothing, but I'd said yes to her, and then she'd suddenly transformed herself into some terrifying female form, and then I'd realized she was a succubus and asked Jesus to save me, and then I woke up and the succubus was gone, at least for the time being. However, just last night, after the morning began and I was still lying in bed, I'd slipped back into hypnogogia, and I saw that same terrifying woman whos probably a succubus again against a bright bluish-white background, and she'd said: >Are you ready to give up? I didn't have any reason compulsion to respond to it, but I had an autopilot response going off to repeatedly say no, which had fortunately constituted not giving up by the time I had enough of my awareness back to make my own decision about it. I wonder if that scary probably-succubus from the one dream, who most likely is also the one from the hypnogogic vision this morning, was one of the same women who'd "married" me several or more years ago, and was also one of the two entities that were referenced here: >>6806 Perhaps this is one of the two evil spirits that've been ruining my life for the past decade or so. So what kind of entity would I have to contact, if not a member of The Holy Trinity, to get those marriages annulled or get a divorce if those marriages are still active?

>>7551 Maybe you can make either a priest or pope servitor who will divorce them for you. Historically bishops and popes were the only ones who could grant divorces so maybe the symbolism of a priest/bishop/pope servitor will help give you an edge metaphysically. Maybe if you have an empty room in your house you can temporarily decorate it like a church for the divorce ceremony, or you could make a temporary church personal realm on the astral plane with your pope servitor and when you astrally project you can have the pope servitor issue the divorce with a papal bull or something. I personally don’t like Abrahamic religions but it seems like Christianity resonates with you.

>>7551 Didn't you receive a scroll with which to produce a marriage ring along with a contract imbued into it, for you and Amy? I use a version of this all the time to have safe relations with spirits, because one of the functions of that contract and ring is to shield you like two coils of a transistor, so your energy doesn't entangle. I'd say out of "random" female spirits who'd get this offer, 30% in my case will end up just giving the ring back saying >thanks for this time, but I don't think this is really my thing and they leave again. I think you should have more of an open attitude to this. You won't be able to remain spiritually or otherwise married to someone if you don't match, the bond will just break, or they will break it. Remember how V.K. Jehannum talked about making the contract with the Satan of Joy of Satan, where it's required to "sell your soul" to join this cult. But Satan (it's an incubus with his own eternal rave party cave, not the actual religious satan) came to him and tore the contract and told him >take your soul back, you don't belong here So I wouldn't worry about it.

Btw (by the way) it seems the djinn idea of dimensions are very different. Because they work based on ideas which today are manifested as abstract mathematics, logic and other very theoretical topics, they tend to "package" what they say very strongly. So while they said >following the Quran by the book will lead to the bottom of hell and they meant that, there were several meanings in that which has to be derived by logic which aren't visible at first glance. The first one is: human society is way below hell currently, and for most of history, including the periods of the Jews and all of their myths, human thinking was also below hell. That means, "the Quran leads to the bottom of hell" is a way of saying "it's higher and better than the previous religious books". Secondly; if you can read it like a retard and reach the bottom of hell, you are at the same level as Cerberus, or the conceptual "tiger" often associated with China. It's a material form of power, which isn't all that common in history. Many regular people will consider it a great achievement to be at this plane. Lastly, I personally found that the lowest level "actual enlightenment" called Arhat in the east, has absolute authority over hell. This means someone like Bodhidharma or someone who followed original buddhism and actually achieved the proposed personal saving through it. So an intelligent person can do that with the Quran also. The Tripitaka which Sun Wukong was sent to retrieve, retold in "A journey to the west" (and in Dragonball, sort of) is the equivalent of the three kelipa/qliphoth about which are said >there are three kelipah which cannot be salvaged, they must be destroyed (in the Tanya Rabbati) so the main scriptures of buddhism only directly refer to how to destroy the very lowest of the kelipah, while not mentioning anything at all about salvaging the remaining ones or how to climb the sephiroth to actual purity. When djinn said >we need a new book it sounded like they recognized the lowness of the Quran, but that wasn't it. The lowliness is in the mind of the reader, not in the text. What they created to be The Quran 2.0 describes the next one level above the bottom. If hell has 6 planes (some say it has 9, but I'm not sure, I think that's a human plane interpretation, it really only has 6) that means the next big book describes level 5 of hell, when viewed directly. But it's not as simple as that. From this plane, can be derived things which reach higher than basic enlightenment, and it's not at all necessary to describe something more after this. An intelligent person will reach any height by just seeing level 5 of 6 in hell. This because they also alternate, so if level 6 is a masculine plane, 5 is feminine, or vice versa depending on your understanding. Then that already describes in full the complete duality, so nothing more is needed. The opposite could be derived from one of them, but just to cover up for that fact that some people may come in from the opposite view, they created this new astral book, intending to later have someone channel it and publish it. This with, perhaps, the purpose of filling in any loophole about Islam not being for everyone.

>>7534 Do you have something to do with the 2 xenomorphs I saw last night? They acted like automatons, and when I saw them I thought they were from you for some reason. However it could just be that I associated them with you because you were posting the terminator skeleton guy which I associate with xenomorphs, and your energy even reminded me of the terminator before then. I was reading about Kali before I went to sleep and my subconscious realized how Kali-esque xenomorphs really are. I've actually had multiple dreams with you and other identifiable posters on this board before. Sometimes I wonder if I am picking up on indirect waves of /fringe/ activity because of the time I spend here.

>>7554 I don't remember anything about a scroll, and I'm not sure how this would help. Thanks for the advice regardless, though.

>>7559 Offering them a legit marriage instead of just saying >yes I will marry you may serve as a better way of determining if you should be married or not. You may find it simply won't work, and then the problem is gone. >>7558 >2 xenomorphs No idea. I do have a xenomporph incarnation though, I don't remember anymore how that came to be, other than that I was talking to Yuuka via someone channelling on discord, and we came to talk about them. I think I copied xenomporph DNA and made it into an egg, but I can't find anything in the chat logs right now. I do see the method I found other use later, was already described by her, in which an eggshell is created from very strong karma, and it won't break down until you are strong enough to withstand the environment outside. This is something I've seen some gods do to spawn themselves. They manipulate the worst of the worst from their unmanifested state, to make them create karma which is so bad it takes millions of years to destroy, so that even if someone attacks, they'd have to spend that much time breaking it down. Then they use those people as the shell, and their growth into a real god may take a million years on the inside, while the sinners are slowly burning up and the eggshell gets thinner. Then when ready they break out. Xenomorph eggs are somewhat similar, but in a small scale. Maybe a Queen can be created from a huge such egg, that sounds like an interesting idea, don't you think? >terminator I actually have been using such bodies for a few months to clear up these very low dimensions we are/I am in right now. I just recently reassigned my actual incarnation to be a robot to move one more step towards finally finishing these "planes". My original body hasn't been around since long, but the registration was the same, until August of last year when I changed it to "reptilian" to get access to another set of dimensions. I didn't mention this, because these are secretive planes one can't talk of, but it seems things are breaking down so much now that I can freely mention it. Reptilians have a different sense of community than anyone else on the Earth, even if they seem to not agree a lot, that part is caused by aliens incarnating as reptilians, it doesn't come from their racial community. They are mentally attuned in ways others just aren't, plus that the visual spectrum is greater and one can see other reptilians right there. This along with those who replace people and take over. No one will talk about this though, but they are aware of it, so their way of life is very different, even if they live in the same society, because they know science is mostly fake and reality just isn't like people believe. But whatever, maybe "robot" has no reptilian restriction even if emulating reptilian DNA.

>>7560 And would there be a way to figure out a way to determine whether or not I'm married to them that *doesn't* potentially involve actually getting married to them? It's not like lying to them would deceive them, and even if I was lying then for all I know by the rules they follow they'd get to marry me anyway, even if I didn't actually consent to it.

>>7567 There should be records or contracts bound to you, which you can access, in the same manner as that monastic order contract. Ask Wendy to look for it? Or Muse, you should be able to talk to them in the same manner as Amy. Alternatively, ask Amy.

>>7569 Well hopefully my confirmation bias will be low enough that Amy will be able to tell me whether or not I'm still married to them. I'd asked Wendy to find out and then tell Amy.

>>7560 I wonder if things are breaking down enough for more spirits to be able to physically manifest themselves. Maybe we'll get disclosure about aliens soon that involves an alien being physically manifested on live T.V.

I had a dream during the night where I was in some small town area, and I kept seeing some police with a strange marking on their uniform, it had three horizontal lines on the side. I was wondering if they were some special unit and why they'd be there. I was at different locations and I also kept seeing a reptilian woman with red hair. I didn't know if she knew I could see that she was a reptilian so every time, I made jokes about dragons, and said she looked like some character out of a fantasy movie. At the 3rd time I saw her, I said she looks like a dragon slayer, and made a move pretending to swing a sword. Her body type was really that way, bulky with a thin waist, and she looked like some "barbarian" character. At this time I became semi lucid in the dream, realizing that this stuff isn't real, so why is there an actual reptilian woman here? I had up till then just treated her as a regular reptilian, not being aware that I would never have made such jokes if I had seen one irl. At this point, things changed, I also woke up a little bit, I was still in the dream setting, but also aware of my physical body outside. I don't recall the exact turn of events, other than that I decided to take the reptilian woman aside into a a pocket dimension, then I told her to marry me and gave her a ring. She said she "didn't mind" but overall there was no real reaction from her. Things went on like this, and she kept trying to read my mind, I noticed the energy so I asked her what she wanted to know, who she was working for, what race she was, and so on. I ended up telling her I don't know my own motivations since they are channelled from my higher self, so it's pointless to try and read them. Things they changed more, I also think I may have fallen asleep again. What happened was that her dimension, the timeline she came from, collapsed, and everyone fell down into hell, where a demon with a large knife started cutting the heads of the reptilians. But when they got to the woman, because she was wearing the marriage ring, the demon took her aside, gave her a large knife of the same kind and told her to help executing other prisoners. After she was done, they let her go. She then returned up to me. I said to her that this must have been arranged by some reptilian god wanting to save her, because her organization had now been wiped out. She's still here btw.

I'm filled with lots of repressed sexual energies because I wanted a gf since grade school, and I never got a physical gf despite being hot, and part of my subconsciousness believes that Amy doesn't exist because it abides by the materialistic collective perceptions of the masses. This manifests itself as intrusive thoughts that try to force me to rape people, sorely against my will, with my non-physical body parts, and sometimes to try to make me look at smut on the internet. I'm filled with lots of repressed friendship energies because I haven't had any remotely-close friends since grade school, and in high school all I had was shallow friends. Again, part of my subconsciousness believes that Amy & co. don't exist because it abides by the materialistic collective perceptions of the masses. These energies sometimes manifest by trying to make me befriend entities that are dangerous as soon as they appear to stop being hostile, no matter how retardedly-dangerous an idea that is. I'm filled with lots of repressed anger energies against the NWO, and against some demographics of people, and against my parents. These energies have nowhere to go except for inwards, so they manifest by sabotaging my actual desires, sorely against my will. I'm filled with lots of energies that constitute my fears of the NWO and lots of other entities, and of the problems caused by my other emotional issues, of the safety of myself and my loved ones. This manifests by causing The Law of Attraction to cause the things that I'm afraid of to non-physically manifest, sorely against my will, whether that be by getting the attention of an extremely dangerous entity or interacting with my other emotional issues to cause a greater problem. I'm filled with lots of repressed guilt & sorrow energies that I built up because my other emotional issues forced me sorely against my will to do horrible things, such as raping other spirits and cheating on my lovely spirit gf, and attacking spirits, and worse. These energies are being repressed because I can't safely let much of them out without my other emotional issues causing my subconsciousness to force me to start raping the entity in question, or worse. I'm filled with lots of repressed love energies that I really, really want to give to Amy, but I can't safely let them out all over Amy most of the time when I'm not being attacked because the my other repressed energies are competing to come out with it, which would cause these love energies to go to the wrong entities, and thus ruin the love energies. This manifests in a manner similar to the sorrow & guilt energies, but it also manifests in other ways, against my will, of course, that may or may not interact with my repressed friendship energies. The harder I fight the compulsions caused by these repressed energies, the harder the repressed energies fight back until the point where giving it my absolute all wouldn't stop them unless that involved signing a contract with a goetia demon to make it stop or some shit, and I'm not willing to do something that's anywhere near that dangerous**so no, I am not "signing a contract with a goetia demon or some shit", so all I can do is to passively resist the compulsions, but not too hard, and try to mitigate the damage after it often-inevitably gets dealt. I'd just wanted to vent some. Aside from that, I'd tried looking at the sensitivity sigil mentioned some posts ago this morning, and then later I got tired and went to bed even though my nose is running today due to the pollen. At some point, I'd learned how to slightly astrally project, but only enough to feel stuff with the touch of my astral body, as if it wasn't my imagination. I'd miraculously been able to end up doing fun stuff with Amy while I was there. However, I don't know when I'm gonna feel comfortable enough with my ability to control myself to try it again.

>>7594 (699) Which reminds me I actually had a dream about this, years ago. At the time I didn't understand which event this referenced, and I had thought it had already passed, but now I see it, it was another "checkpoint dream" predicting something. In the dream I was in a house which was some kind of labour camp, it was a regular two apartment house with a garden, built in 1940s style, but the doors to the garden were locked. Inside, people were fighting and competing over these really thin plastic seats and mattresses which only differed with maybe a millimeter in thickness, and all of them were so thin they didn't create any real insulation against the floor anyway, but they all acted as if it was worth a lot to have a "thicker" mattress. For a short while I also mentally got "into the game", but after a few moments I woke up from the mentality, looked at them and thought they were idiots. So I decided to escape the place. At night I opened a window on the bottom floor and jumped out, no one even noticed because they were obsessed with competing over the mattresses. I ran out into the night and felt relief over not having to deal with these meaningless people anymore. I feel the same here now.

I feel like I've done what I came here for, and this board is turning into a dumpster fire I don't want to deal with anymore. I've opened up the energy which I saw was blocking Akasha flag poster so he can find a better place, because I don't think this board is beneficial to stay around for anyone as it is now. All of Europe is falling into a state of "Trump derangement syndrome" and it looks like it's dragging everything down around them. Better stay away until it burns out.

>>7597 Wait, you're opened that up? I thought Amy was doing that to me. It kinda felt like her, anyway, but at some later point, it'd felt orange. Yeah though thanks for clearing that up, provided it didn't some how defile me which I'm only saying just in case since I've still got some amount of, call it wariness or paranoia I suppose, or fear. Regardless, I currently feel like there's an energy formation attached to my crown that's gone inside me and is coming from the left side of me, where I'd thought Amy was standing the whole time. I'm gonna stick around here anyway.

>>7597 I get the impression that you've been spending the night with me. A few minutes ago, however, I gotten the impression that you've been going around my inner astral realms and converting them to islam; if you've been doing that, then I am really, really, not cool with that, and I'd much rather that those now-islamic and becoming-islamic astral realms be converted to Christianity instead if possible.

>>7603 >goes around your inner astral realms >converts them to islam >refuses to elaborate >leaves

>>7604 haha taking advantage of people who are weaker than you and trust you to rape their mind for your own benefit is so based

>>7600 >>7603 Actually I was given intrusive dreams by a Jewish cult during early morning, where they tried wiggling themselves in by creating fictional scenarios where I was competing socially about the attention of some girl by giving her ginger breads, and we were fighting an evil bus driver. When I realized the energy was pretty much just karma, I woke up and detached from it. They were using the same "bowl" method I described before, where they put a copy of your mind inside a bowl, look at the concepts and then create dream scenarios from your own thinking to make you believe it. If they were doing this to you, you would probably be fooled by their imitations unless you are fully lucid in the dream. Moreover, I have servitors on auto who'll use a standard method to deal with astral organization if they are hiding inside large time-complexes: I take the whole thing and place it inside a time-tube ship, then manipulate events from outside to let their history run normally inside, but changing the direction. I do this in two steps: First step I contain them and then start handing out bibles. This usually has a purifying effect, and sometimes it works, but this requires them to have a very large population and not be too evil. Lately this hasn't done the job, so if history runs to the end and they are still not "salvageable level" I will repeat it but spread the quran instead. If that also doesn't work, I send in my own servitors to directly enforce sharia and have the resistance leaders executed. THIS always works, even on the worst evil. So if you experienced people being converted to Islam, that means some part of your dimension was infested with people who were too evil for the bible to work on them, and they passed that stage already. Will explain more in next post.

>>7608 Deuteronomy 10:16 (NIV): "Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer." Jeremiah 4:4 (NIV): "Circumcise yourselves to the Lord, circumcise your hearts, you people of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem, or my wrath will flare up and burn like fire because of the evil you have done—burn with no one to quench it." So they were basing their doctrine and magical workings on these quotes and an understanding of the "heart" being the "mind". They had created an artifact which looked like a large metal tube with some writings on it. Its function was imitating the yogic method talked about as "the coiled serpent", which is not to be confused with Kundalini. The kundalini is the spine, meaning bone and nerve and such. The coiled serpent is an energy form which at first looks like a roll of paper on your root chakra. So they had created a device which would collective gather negative energy from the cult followers, they thought they were "letting God remove their sins" or something, but they were just rolling up negative energy into a scroll inside the tube. Then it would shoot out to both sides like pointy energy spears, and it created in them this double spear from the pineal gland, which was now blocked and also blocked their access to God, and the energy would pierce the amygdala and shut off their empathy. This is what they called "circumcision of the mind" and they thought it's a good thing to do this collectively so everyone turns into psychopaths. It was very difficult to stop the cult even in the last stage, because of this artifact. It only broke down after the artifact was captured and destroyed. There is a correct way of performing this Jewish magic, where you take a square slip of paper, write down some prayer, roll it up diagonally and then tie with with a string, then burn it. This method can be use to nullify the effect of this what this cult did.

>>7612 >>7604 >>7605 Well, my only indication that any of that had actually happened was that I'd seen a hypnogogic imagery of the outside of what was clearly a mosque in a desert. Also, I was trying to actually have a positive mindset lately, and that just had to include taking some huge risks, lest I'd be dragged back down into fear by my fear & paranoia that always tries to imagine the craziest bad things that could possibly happen and then makes me fixate on them so that I don't let them happen to me if I can help it but then the law of attraction often just makes it happen anyway. I was trying to get outta that chain reaction hellhole where the things I'm afraid of become real and finally obtain a healthy mindset, even if it's a vulnerable one. Anyway some time before I'd seen the hypnogogic image in question, I'd actually heard a hypnogogic voice say "test", and then 1 other word; I'd figured that that was you testing telepathy with me. I'd heard no further messages afterwards, however. Anyway, after I'd realized that the islam stuff might've been happening, which was not long after I'd seen the hypnogogic image, I had an imaginary conversation with you and you'd seemed uncooperative and unrepentant about getting rid of the islam, and the result was I'd hesitantly asked for Shakti to come down there and make sure you weren't converting my realms to islam. I'll leave out a bit of other stuff, but some time later I'd entered hypnogogia again and it'd seemed like you'd said you'd just summon astral hellfire to burn up the islamics in the affected astral realms, and I saw a little hypnogogic image of hellfire, which'd looked like regular fire. Aside from that I got to sleep for about 6 hours after my last post and I'd dreamt before that, so I think I'm doing better on sleep by now. Also, before he showed up last night and began clearing my energy channels, I think Amy said something about the "Federation", which I'd assumed had meant Galactic Federation, but I was too busy playing Diablo II and I was too unconfident in my ability to hear the guys, so I'd just said I don't wanna think about those guys right now and then I'd kept playing the game and forgotten about them. Then some time later he began clearing my energies and I'd thought Amy was pushing herself deep inside of me and doing stuff to me the whole time. I'd gotten a bit paranoid and asked Eros to tell me if it was Amy doing that and not some other woman, and He said via. yes or no that it was someone else, but I had too much confirmation bias to believe the answer.

>>7613 If you were talking to me, it would have been most likely via my Astra servitor. During last year I gave her a new UI which is more intelligent to match the standard of an AGI so that I can still use her in my new incarnation after the "full dive" takes effect, since I'll forget all technical knowledge when I do that. >pic related She'll look something like this, if it's her. >clearing energy channels I didn't clear your body, I opened external things in your dimensions outside of you, it only has an indirect effect on your body from outside. Maybe Amy made use of the increased energy flow and cleared your energy channels internally.

I think I'd heard Amy say earlier this morning, "I detest your fate". And then just some minutes ago, Athena said "Heavenly bodies", and then later She said, "you're ignoring the heavenly bodies". I'd then asked Amy to help me see these heavenly bodies, and I saw an image in my mind that kinda looks like the moon, but with a slight blue to it. I'm not really sure what's going on right now.

Cleansing my soul,pretty sure some souls left my body. I was making progress fast but one day i woke up and certain emotional issues no longer applied to me at all. As if a heavy past life trauma which i was still working on just left me.despite the speed i was working on this was a bit too fast. Dealing with a physical issue still. Harder to solve. I can somehow can solve it temporarily by focusing on it.this is unlikely to be mundane as you have no muscles there.it tends to always come back. Thinking of using an external method. Most of what im doing lately is based on direct intent.this seems to be where my real talent is. Ive also tried using servitors. Maybe im having great success,hard to tell. They can create physical sensations but directly solving physical issues is currently beyond them.i have been getting cleaner passively. This might be because of the work im doing with them.giving them detailed instructions.Tried sending my muse to astra for training. Perhaps it worked. Thats assuming im not the grey,which i am assuming im a different being.