HEY LOOK ITS BORIS- THE BUMPKIN BITCH! HE'S FATTER THAN ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE LOLLIPOP GANG! WHY DO I CARE, YOU ASK? YOU'RE TURNING INTO A MONK BY THE SINK OF YOUR OWN SINKIN AND I'M TELLIN YOU, IT'S GROSS! I don't think I've ever seen you angry... WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "YOU DON'T THINK"? WE ARE GOING OVER THIS AGAIN, TENTH REPEAT. I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU OR YOURS. NOT A GODDAMN INCH. But you used to be nice, really... Yeah, now you just like to fuck with us! No, but really... You never used to be like this... And if you have to take a shit, why don't you take one on the lawn? And what's the big deal? If you go up the ladder and shit on the window and throw it out, you'll only break it! It won't take long to fix! ...I'm not going to break my window. Because if you do, I'll probably do something really shitty to your windows too, so you won't have nice ones anymore! Hey you! I think you'd like my house! It's really nice! It's not like this one! YOU SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS! YOUR HOUSE IS DISGUSTING! AND I'M NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE ANYMORE. YOU CAN HAVE IT. SO LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO BACK TO YOUR POOR POOR HOUSE YOU STINKING SUCK-LOVING BITCH! AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO NOW?! THEY'RE GOING TO FUCKING CLOSE ALL THE DUMBASS MUSEUMS! AND WHAT KIND OF SORT OF FUCKING BABY SHIT IS THAT?! I AM SORRY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IMPORTANT MUSEUMS ARE?! YOU WILL NOT EVEN HAVE THIS ONE ANYMORE!!! So, yeah, that's about how the letter went. And then the following day, we got this... No matter what you do to my property, the museum is not going anywhere. I don't care if you break my windows, pull my grass, knock my doors down. I'm not even sure why you feel the need to call the cops. Have fun with them. I think the kids from my apartment building would appreciate the diversion, at any rate. You know what would be fun? If you put a dead fish in one of your toilets, and then we could see if it would work the same way that the dead fish worked on the fish tank! Wouldn't that be fun?! And then, she put in an order for three cases of those glow in the dark frogs that kids like, with a couple of dead fish taped to their bodies. I know this seems really nasty, but honestly, I don't think she means any of it... I don't know why you're being so hard on her, it's not like you even live there, and you certainly don't pay rent! ...That would explain a lot of things.