this is gonna be important w00t's message. because i believe it will make things simpler. As Martin Luther King also said, "Someone who believes in nothing and stands for nothing, will fall for absolutely anything." There was also english song, but I don't remember it. I do not like eating eggs or omelet, macoroni make me fucking sick, I very often hate eating meat, especially barbecued, smoked or other ways of steaming, broiling and etc... No matter how many humans speak to me, I can't relate - I AM LIKE THE FUCKING GUY FROM KINZAVIER. Hibiku Yamamura Katsuhira? Basically, I don't feel anything good when eatibng. But other people always tell me opposite. I did milkshakes before and other desserts, but now as adult I feel zero. zero senses. To me, eating it is diaboliacl and damaging. Even when I read soap operas and other sad stories, I feel very nothing. I am trying my best to develop empathy, but it's harder when I can't relate to them and also relating to them momentarily. If I feel pain, ok but even then I do not relate to people who experience tragedy no matter how similar we are. I feel I suffer from a form of abudolomania or some other apathetic illness, but I do not feel sick of whatsoever, to me the problem lies in the lackness.... I tried to ease it or remove this habit, but then I truly feel as person indifferent to extreme if you as human saw me. I do not care. I do not express anger not even other frustrations, I only experience them momentarily in the present scene but won't indulge them in the future. All of modern life... makes me feel left out, but also whether I have self-pity or remove my self-pity I still have difficulty with genuine emotions, only through sex or some sensual stimulation do I start making slip ups, so to speak, emotional interest that leads me to think of circumstances in irrationality. How do I fight against such npcism? Is it even possible to feel genuine emotion? Because I will not fake it. I seriously question myself, this is not statement of apathetic taste buds towards delicious food, only. I inherently feel soulless for entirety of my life. Please, help me feel some kind of senses and empathy for me to care. Caring... Uh