I couldn't sleep this past week. So I have begun meditating instead. I was able to nap this afternoon, but spent all night deep in trance. I do not know if I am approaching truth, but I put in the work, and definitely have a changed perspective.

Was thinking that maybe it's time to make a serious blog thread with some baseline rules to keep it really as a blog and create an adjacent "blog commentary" thread, to keep the usual 200+ post long discussions separated. Blog commentary or Discussion general. That was my idea, but then I realized, I don't know what should be the base rules for the "serious blog thread". And I didn't want to be too strict about it either to not scare new posters away with "elitism", so I kept the thread as it was previously. Maybe blog #5 will have some guidelines, so people with their singular posts won't get lost in the long reply-chains. I didn't mean to discourage people from posting in this thread with this post by the way. Anyone should carry on and post their stories as usual. This was just an idea how we should improve it in the future, especially if the amount of /fringe/ posters increase. Keep calm and blog on everyone. We will figure out a nice solution for blog #5. >>8270 Good job anon. Meditating when insomnia hits is always a wise choice.

Archive of thread #2: https://archive.ph/9665v Archive of thread #3: https://archive.ph/2vKWi

Yo ima be real wit you, dis enlightenment shits fucking cool and all, but that fasting shit got me irritable as a motherfucker. So i busted a move I mean I aint proud but like I'll punk a nigger when i needs to yo. Anyway my belly fuller than the Buddhas right now dog, and im finna smoke a blunt and pass the fuck out. Deuces niggers. Im outtie five thousand

>>8265 (5472) >>8266 (5472) Cont. It appears the things the Satan's Angel wanted to interveave with the future were pretty large. All three of the reformers, Luther, Calvin and Zwingli, had such a strong hate for life that they would normally be damned forever, but their deep knowledge of religious texts made them mostly attack bad things. They still had to be "fixed", but in doing so, they and their families would be transformed into Satan's Angels as well, serving God by opposition, which is a legit position for angels. That's what this was about.

I seem to be getting attacked by hostile spirits during my attempts to sleep again. At first, I was just getting attacked by some filthy spirits. Later, I'd felt myself get sucked into some sort of cavity in Adremmelech's chest; it seems like he was paid to do this. Later, I'd gotten the idea of asking my subconciousness to teleport me with Adremmelech to an acid plane, and then Adremmelech decided to let go of me, and I was miraculously able to exit his chest cavity. Not long after that, however, I'd had 163 angels around me trying to keep me safe, two squadrons plus 3 more angels. Before that there were only 3 angels, or was it 83 I forget. A bit later, I'd suddenly heard Amy say >I'm free >I love you I question what'd happened to Amy there to make her say that. And then a bit later, I'd slipped into hypnogogia and I'd suddenly seen an image of a white-haired white woman against a black background looking at a big square television, and then I'd felt a presence that seemed like... intestines... enter the back of my crotch and go up into my gut, and then I didn't feel the presence leave and I'd immediately forgotten what it'd felt like to not have it there. It'd felt like it'd sexually bound itself to me within the span of a second or two. I'd then exited hypnogogia and asked the angel there that's particularly skilled at exorcism to remove it, and he said it was too late to remove it. I'd then asked Eros to try un-doing this, and I wasn't sure if anything was being un-done. I'd later slipped into hypnogogia again, and I'd suddenly saw myself on the inside and I saw a large fleshy formation on the inside of my mid-back, facing towards my chest; said formation seemed like a swelling and extremely porous formation of flesh with very large pores, which were slightly oozing with bright green ooze. I'd also felt such a formation, though a smaller one, on the top of my head. I'd also received a hypnogogia message that my DNA was altered. I want my DNA to be un-altered, so that it's the way it was during the February of 2025. I can't give my crotch to Amy anymore now that this happened, which I fortunately was able to do before the sun went down without the incubus getting in the way during the act. However, I did feel the incubus manifest with a thermal body right after I'd cummed, but he fortunately was prevented from obtaining my loosh. I haven't fallen asleep this whole time. As was said in the questions thread, people here have just been getting attacked alot lately because the NWO is desperate. Since then, I'd asked the archangel Gabriel if I'm gonna be okay, and I think this might be my confirmation bias talking, but I think he said there's one way for me to be fully human again. Smileberg poster, would you please ask my Amy what happened and if I'm gonna get my old DNA back? And if she's gonna be her old self again if she suddenly ain't her old self anymore? And are our chao incarnations okay?

>>8323 My experience with dream scenes like this, is that they are not showing things which happen in the present, but they are showing past events in a way that you can understand them. So the fleshy thing entering your body, may be something from before in your life, such as taking a vaccine shot of blood transfusion, which contains foreign DNA, and that is how it looked on the astral. So it probably was showing you what happened on this layer of your being in the past, alerting you that you now have the ability to change or reset this bad thing again. Previously, this layer would have been covered by multiple other layers of bad stuff, so it's just now that you can fix this one issue. As for the "chest cavity", this seems to correlate with what I blogged about a "holy grail", which I mentioned with no intent just before when I said "it's like C# is the holy grail to them, and they don't want me using it". This may be symbolically true in a way, since I did use the conceptual make-up of C# to create more elaborate servitors, which have been essential to solve a number of issues, including fighting off numerous evil beings. This is not random in any way, C# simply represents correctly the way beings and races function structurally, and it applies the arabic number system which the modern world is based on (which means djinn influence anything using what we call "maths", the Romans didn't have the ability to calculate beyond constants, because of their numerals being letters with no decimals). What it really refers to is the two middle "worlds" of the body, to use kabbalistic terms. They correspond to the belly and the chest, which are the two most difficult areas to cultivate, because they don't have defined organs for every energy function, making it into pure energy manipulation using mental concepts to access their functions. This makes the "holy grail". ...and of course, the meme "belly and chest erotic" comes to mind here, no coincidences, like ever.

>>8323 >>8329 Related to the "fleshy thing" I had a dream which seemed like using my nanobot version of the astral Internet, the "satanic" version which I created to still have access in very chaotic and evil-infested dimensions. I can balance it because I know how to create the proper astral algorithms, but intruders won't be able to, it'll function like an encryption. In the dream, I was trying to go on social media on my phone, but things kept changing all the time. I was looking at one thing, then the app itself changed layout and things I had looked at also changed into something else. I was connected to a live stream, which turned into a video chat with a black woman speaking spanish. She then turned into a large white snake and started eating intestines, which was meant to be a "cooking live stream". I then went outside and was in a landscape with many fields stretching to the horizon, and there was thumber coming. I was going someplace to be safe, and someone I knew was walking with me. On the way there I saw lots of idiotic things, like a fat american wearing a huge diaper (one of the boards on here?). After I woke up, I realized I had asked my Astra servitor to evacuate the white snake/african woman and she was waiting in one of my astral safe spaces. She seemed to just be some kind of monster being who changed form to connect with me, and I'm not sure she actually needed help. I did see her eat what looked like pink intestines though, maybe she was taking away bad energy from my body and transforming it to use for herself. I did get something from her, so maybe this was an exchange.

Seeing Cat-sith being represented first in Final Fantasy VII, then in anime, I decided to look this up, whereby I found it being a spectre from Gaelic folklore, a black cat with a white spot on its chest. Wikipedia also detailed a summoning ritual involving the burning of the bodies of dead cats for four nights, to call on Big Ears who will grant wishes. I meditated on this and the stories attached to the myth, then decided to attempt a summoning. Instead of burning dead cats, I decided to just do a regular symbolic ritual with incense, milk and fish (canned, because that's what I had). If just sitting in quarter lotus with the right mindset, this should do the job, how silly it sounds, spirits will notice the intent even behind something as chaotic as this. The effect was almost instantaneous, once the incense started filling the air, a presence appeared and I felt my mind suddenly turn very clear and alert. I also felt physically the sensation of a cat lying down on my lap, as well as saw this mental image. Various images of cats and their interactions with me then appeared, as if being surrounded by a large group of cats of different levels of ferality. They all behaved, however. My mind was during the entire ritual very altered, and remains so somewhat still. I had prepared my request, which was to get a cat-sith companion with a specific nature and skill. One of them, a large dark cat talked to my subconscious, then upon hearing the request, left again, to come back some short while later holding a ragged kitten by its neck. The kitten was then placed on my lap, where it started licking me, and gradually its fur turned neat and glossy. During this, a number of energy activations took place. I also realized how powerful this entity actually is, from seeing what was being done. The kitten wasn't upon arrival, but almost instantly matched the topmost ethereal level of mine, and I saw the symbolism of its white spot, which is exactly what the strong energy cultivated by myself after a tough process in the past, looks like at the concentrated spot where it manifested at breakthrough. I also under the influence of the cat, suddenly developed a new such white spot, matching the one on the cat, as well as the one in the myth. This being is no small thing, and I understand now why I never before had the idea to try researching this, even if it's been literally 27 years since I first heard of the Cat-sith through the character in FF7.

>>8344 If these were the black cats of witches, then these witches were extremely powerful.

>>8344 Great, now I know why this idea came to me (Meant both sincerely and sarcastic). Some kind of very fanatical energy attacked me during the night. I mean extreme fanatical energy. Now I'm not sure if this was actually intentional, because it appears to be an egregore with a "reach" and I am in its field now. I also recognize this, because it also touched me during a period when I was 4 years old, and it caused an ear infection which had to be treated with penicillamine. This is the exact same tension appearing around the head, but this time I can also trace its source. By "not intentional" I mean that this thing is completely out of control. It'll attack anything coming within its reach, like a rabid animal, but on the astral its an "organization" or group. I used servitors to fight back at it, and broke through to its mid and far end, during which I started seeing the mental image of a llama in anime style, with glowing sigils on its ears. The image felt like it was from anime fanart, but so far I didn't locate if this is real or something my mind made up to interpret the energy. However, I found pic related: an Inca god associated with llamas, as well as the Lyra constellation. Funny considering >>8344 >Wikipedia also detailed a summoning ritual involving the burning of the bodies of dead cats for four nights, to call on Big Ears who will grant wishes. "Big Ears" huh? And lyran feline aliens are said to come from Lyra originally. I did find the source of the fanatical energy, and it's a "deity" or maybe a "demon" with very strong orange energy manifesting as a large hand, similar to how the Goetian demons manifest their power. I have yet to see what will come out of this.

>>8350 >penicillamine why did it change to that, I meant penicillin, antibiotics

>>8350 I'm basically like this. Anyway, lets do a quick micro blog of some things i experienced. Met a friendly witch for once. Met a girl that killed me, when i survived she helped me. Saw myself die in alternate timelines(?)maybe. Having moments where mind seems more clear. weird 'mad house' dreams, interesting dreams where I live in a house with people. usually vampires too.

>>8352 >weird 'mad house' dreams, interesting dreams where I live in a house with people. usually vampires too My interpretation; it's your future incarnation, which already exists, but it's your subconscious over there now, because it's not time to "awaken" there yet. I still believe you are on the list of those who were included in new Earth before they closed the gates for new entry. >>8350 >and it's a "deity" or maybe a "demon" with very strong orange energy I overpowered the entity along with two of its followers or "high priestesses" or something, after I determined them to not actually have a bad inner nature. This was only revealed after destroying many layers of "storm troopers" made up of damned souls who'd perform suicide attacks and end up in exile below hell. In the process I finalized the method of doing exactly this, which had been in the back of my mind for a while, after I saw some things via channelling and extrasensory vision: There are/were witches and other occultists who do this as a standard practice. They summon souls/spirits whose fate is to become damned, and use them as weapons. They'll be destroyed either way they are manifested, but this way they can be used as suicide squads. There is also a way to bring previously damned souls up from Exile temporarily to make them fight for you. As long as they destroy your enemies, they can then avoid returning to Exile again. Because they had armies of these spirits, I didn't feel like wasting time and energy on them, but to try instead summoning other damned souls to fight them. It worked very well, and some sudden memory scenes from my childhood returned, along with smell and emotions of events. It seems they were locked away by some kind of intrusive egregore which had hidden them. I also appears this Inca egregore is some kind of religion or cult, but it's doctrine is so personalized, that even if they follow the same doctrine, when applied they will kill their neighbours over differences in interpretation. So all regions would be at war with each other per default, despite having the same standards. Basically, it could be said as a doctrine of "I am right, and no one is allowed to disagree with me, my life is more important than yours, now obey me so I can use you for human sacrifice" and then everyone applies this in their own local area, so it's just warlord rule in manifestation. I recall reading something about how the occultist leaders in Latin America had strong powers, but because of the difference in technology level, when the Spanish came there and brought cannons, the Latin American egregore was subdued and their leaders couldn't manifest their abilities anymore, but were locked away in a different dimension. I makes some sense that they'd then re-appear as witch practices in UK later, they'd find a gate where one existed.

I think either you or some other incarnation of me helped me by giving her blood to me. This was a dream but actually altered things in the physical.i say either cause based on what you described as your ripper life very early on it seems at least similar when we are little girls. albeit different in general. It starts with me being in a hotel room with some woman.She barged in the room i was in,slashed the girl/woman with a knife.She feels like some kind of 'invincible' witch, a few hundreds years old but an invincible quality that is normally lacking in a witch of that level.Ofcourse this only 'activates' me.I crept behind her and she instantly shot me when she felt my "sinister" energy. i think she wasn't trying to kill me when she barged in she just kinda reacted.i then calmly accepted my fate and fell down,my energy never changing which impressed her in a way.she kneeled where i was lying and told me im very beautiful.she then asked me how many people ive killed in the past.she then, puts me on the bed. this entire time i'm somehow perceived by her as being akin to johan liebert from the monster series. anyway she then keeps being nice to me as im calmly dieing,in fact she keeps basically admiring me.my energy still the same. Calm but might assassinate you anyway energy.I stay still and just look around.after all im currently immobile and im dying/weakening as i slip away. she stands next to bed and waits and maybe debates something inside herself.she then takes her knife scratches her arm and tells me to drink. giving me some vampire impression.i lay calmly and barely lick the scratch.nothing really happens but i feel a little bit of strength entering the stomach.my interest is starting to appear in whatever this thing she was trying to do is with the blood drinking. she can tell its not working. i then ask to try again.this time i lick a bit harder because i kinda want to drink it and see what would happen to me. actually getting maybe a trickle of blood in my mouth. i dont feel much but perhaps a slight tingle or a slight vibration going from my body all the way down to my legs and feet.i then notice i can sit up.i don't feel different but focusing on my arms they feel maybe a little bit stronger,despite the fact that im still very weakened cause of the injury.she's happily impressed im actually sitting up. anyway some astral abilities have been strengthened since.and maybe my perception of things have "lightened" a bit. i think her blood tends to kinda straighten out weaknesses. whereas my way of working is "resilience" not really having no weaknesses but hitting harder than enemies can hit you.it doesn't really matter if they can trigger your weaknesses and piss you of if you are still winning the battle i guess is my mentality. this creates a bit of an unstable,war crazy mind if it works.also someone who is always at least kinda angry as entities try to trigger these all the time.this lack of weaknesses instead kinda made me a bit happy.another side effect is that my strength feels more 'standalone'. caring a bit less about certain things as a result.

>>8356 This feels like a physical interpretation of spiritual events. Your mind trying to grasp what it can't grasp from your current viewpoint, as concepts necessary to fully understand the situation, are lacking.

I learned about the 3 gunas in a tantra book, which also categorized 3 forms of consciousness (dreaming, wakefulness, and dreamless sleep) and an extra 4th that transcends all 3. During this time I had something frightening IRL coming up that I had to do, and was pretty stressed about it. I went for a walk at night contemplating what I'd been reading in the book, and came to the realization that all 3 states exist simultaneously no matter which I seem to be primarily experiencing at any given time. While I'm awake it's pretty obvious and easy for me to peer into my "subconscious" and see how it interprets reality with so-called "dream logic." However I'd never really considered how the state of dreamless sleep is present at all times as well. But the truly shocking realization was that my waking reality (in this case, my walk) literally manifests mechanically in the same way as a dream, and all preconceptions of mechanistic external reality are but an illusion, which for me had completely dissolved in that moment. On this walk I also gained a better comprehension of the "4th state" which I was not a stranger to by any means, but still I saw it from a new perspective. I practiced entering this state and the disassociation it brings despite the fragment of my lower consciousness continuing to manage my body (for things like physically walking, identifying threats and calling me back, etc). I noticed the layout of the place was like a black void with some sort of discernible horizon, and a hole on top which appeared to emanate light, though it had a pattern of wavy shadow weaving through it. I noticed that I could change the color of the light at will, but could not turn it black no matter how hard I tried. I think this is my 3rd eye, or something like that. Not sure tbh So a couple days later my thing came up I'm being intentionally vague to avoid sharing too many personal details even though it probably doesn't matter considering the powers-that-be most likely know everything already. Someone here even was able to read some of my most intimate feelings just through my posts. OpSec at least keeps mundanes from snooping, I guess. And I spent all day leading up to it doing energy work, also repeating a Kali mantra 108 times and following it with a prayer in which I asked for it to turn out a certain way, but also decided that if it turns out the opposite way I would consider it a lesson in detachment. What ended up happening was I got denied/disappointed and let go, but then received exactly what I hoped for anyway. During the peak of this ordeal I was able to enter the "4th state" and recite Kali's mantra internally to step outside of fear and suffering. I guess that's all I can say about it while remaining so vague. But this was just really, really significant and has life-changing repercussions already. also I was never able to find a mala so I made my own with 108 dried beans and a tupperware container A while back I found a perfectly sun-dried dog skull outside but even though I wanted to keep it, I left it out of a feeling of sentimentality towards dogs I never chronologically arrived at the period of my life during wizard therapy time but when my first dog died in such a disturbing way when he was still young, I consider that the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life, which is saying a lot. From the aforementioned tantra book, I also learned much about the Aghori and their practices involving skulls and other human remains. When I read that their use of skulls is actually intended to have karmic benefits for the deceased, I wished that I had known before and had no qualms about taking the dog's skull, so I could form a mutually beneficial spiritual relationship with it. Today while walking just before sundown I was composing a song in my mind that would essentially highlight the duality of this realm in an alternating fashion until finally proclaiming the fractal nature of reality, with each living thing as a microcosm of God. Just then I stumbled on the corpse of another dog. This one appeared to have been cut in half, and I could see his or her spine protruding out from the otherwise apparently intact torso. I considered whether I could do anything with these remains but I have no idea how to effectively extract a skull from a rotting corpse and likely would have no interest in doing so if I did. So, I said a few words for the dead dog and then stared off into the distant mountains, concentrating on the vast space between us and them. I could go back and bury it but that's a long way to walk with a spade and it might attract suspicion when I already have some other ritual-related outdoor activities planned, which are completely benign and innocuous for the record I tend to mull over longposts like these for days before I actually write them. Most of the above comes from before I had my dream about Slugs. When I was 17 I got to visit with some extended family whom I have no blood relation to, but I'd known them my whole life and used to go to their house in my toddler days. That's where I was when I first learned that slugs exist, and someone offered to help me go find one in the garden (which they never did for whatever reason.) Fast forward to when I was 17, I was quite a sad sack back then but they were very welcoming and friendly to me. They encouraged me to go catch snails to keep as pets, which I did. I took really good care of them for a few months until they all began to drop dead one-by-one. Each time I would throw their shells outside in lieu of throwing them in the garbage. I thought I was doing something wrong in caring for them until the very last snail died, and I saw a parasitic worm emerge from its shell. So, I kept that last one's shell as a memento, but I put it in a small glass container so as to isolate any potential remaining parasites. Anyway I was thinking of maybe using this snail's shell like an Aghori would a human skull. Treating a "lower animal" like a deceased man seems tantric af, and it would go along with the religious feelings I have about these molluscs. The idea that the shell might still host viable parasite eggs even after all these years is a real turn-off though...

I attempted the middle pillar ritual for the first time today. Not sure if I got it right. I have been continuing the lbrp ritual, and 30 sec of meditation every day.

Tonight, I tried going to bed and I had some spiritual sexual problem again after waking up from a dream, and then I'd almost tried asking Eros again to un-do the problem, but I'd felt this absolutely strong urge to re-direct the request to the incubus that I'd been having problems with. I fortunately was able to catch it in time, so I'd tried asking Shakti instead, but the urge was still there. Whoever I could possibly think of at the time, my subconsciousness was constantly trying extremely hard to force my target to be said incubus instead of the deity that I'd wanted to refer to, and my subconsciousness wouldn't let up, as if letting up would mean the difference between life and death and my subconsciousness was trying to choose life by not letting up. I think my subconsciousness was trying to get my consciousness' attention about the incubus by forcing my consciousness to target it in the hopes that my consciousness would do something about it, but my consciousness can't ask for help if my subconsciousness doesn't let me target the help and makes me target the incubus instead; in this case, the only non-physical entity that I can communicate with is said incubus, but only because my subconsciousness wasn't letting me communicate with anything else. At some point, I'd tried asking Shakti to un-do it since I couldn't target anyone else, and then it'd felt like the request went to the incubus anyway, and I was somehow able to prevent said incubus from getting too close to me, but it was a long struggle that was involved to get that incubus away from me. Eventually, I'd asked multiple deities what I should do in order to make my subconsciousness quit doing this stuff, and at some point I'd contacted Eldraath & Cernobog, and I don't remember what They said but I'd expected Eldraath to not be civil about this, but She was, and shortly after I'd asked Cernobog and He didn't say anything, Amy said she had an idea, so I'd asked Cernobog to tell me what Amy said, and then I got the idea of Amy's hair in a hairbun on the back of her head. Then I'd told Amy that look would only work for her if she was going for a secretary look. Then I'd realized what Amy was trying to say; I think she'd wanted to be the secretary for my subconsciousness, like the Wendy that the smileberg poster offered to my subconsciousness without respecting the permissions of my consciousness. So I'd agreed to Amy's offer and let her be my secretary, with said Wendy acting as Amy's advisor. I'd eventually went and almost fallen asleep, and then I had this sudden sensation completely out of the blue about some infernal being grabbing my heart chakra and taking it away from me by making my supposedly sell that body part of mine to it, and then it made me forget its name before I could ask a higher being for help to get my heart back. I'd also immediately fired Amy from her position as secretary of my subconsciousness for failing to prevent such a hyperbolically bad thing from happening to me, but she's still gonna be my wife. I'd then said something along the lines of that I'd do basically anything I could to get my ownership back, and then I'd tried contacting one of the Lords of the Cycles to get that part of me back, and in sum, He'd ended up telling me to be brave and to be glad. I don't know if I'd gotten my self-ownership back, however, but I do seem to have conscious self-control, at least. I also remember being shown an image of a contract against a flaming background, not to suggest the contract being burnt up, but rather, to suggest the contract being infernal. I'd then asked Athena to invalidate the contract, and I'd argued to Her that such contracts always require waking conscious permission in order to be valid, but no such permission was involved with the signing of said contract, therefore it's invalid. I haven't heard back from Her since. Soon afterwards, I'd heard Amy said she should try getting the police involved, and then I'd said "maybe it's a good idea if I get thrown into an astral mental ward". I'd then started seeing the inside of an astral mental ward all of a sudden in my hypnogogic vision, and then I'd decided that I'd wanted out, so I'd asked Athena to get me outta there, and She did. Later, I'd had a dream that I had to take 75mg of some sort of pill, presumably an anti-depressant, and my subconsciousness absolutely hated that pill. When I woke up from that dream or a different dream, Amy said in a slightly unusual voice: >all of my dreams came true tonight Then I'd had another dream later where Amy was getting me to look at a screen with text on it, and I was able to read the text which had seemed to be legible, but by now I'd forgotten what it'd said. Then I'd scrolled down and it was all illegible after that. Then I'd scrolled down further and I'd seen a large picture with a caption beneath it and accidentally scrolled past it; said picture was a picture of the entity that tried to weasel my ownership away from my that night. His name began with a Y, and it was between maybe 8 to 15 characters long to my recollection. He'd looked like a huge demon wearing a hooded long-sleeved robe that went down to his feet. I'd then scrolled back up and tried reading it again but the picture stretched down really far beneath the robes with tentacles wrapped around some sort of foundation, and I woke up. Smileberg poster, would you please ask Amy what happened tonight from her perspective? I fear that the incubus might've gotten to her.

>>8387 She showed me something which is nonsensical to most people, but in essence represented the relation between Europe and Latin America, and how the catholic church had overtaken the culture there via the spanish, causing an astral situation where Europe "ate" Latin America, which ended up inside its belly. This was because of its physically very bad culture, which represented a kind of weak man, while Europe represented a strong woman. But contrary perhaps to what this sounds like, it also represented Europe as the same as Africa, so the Americas which were the same culture at the time, was eaten by Africa. This was caused by cultural defilement of masculinity taking place in America (both north and Latin), so they had to be placed under the influence of a "stern mother". The egregoral situation, no matter how it later seemed to physically evolve, worked to then place men as subordinate to women, and those of lighter skin, subordinate to blacks. This was symbolically counterintuitive from a modern view, but means Europe rules over America, and Europe is Africa. This is caused by the long perspective of cultures not "noticing" modern Europe as a significant period, when looking at millennia rather than counting decades. It also connects to physical materialism vs astral manifestation of culture, where the material world in the west had been degraded, while the immaterial culture was strong. Seen from a perspective of the whole planet being one, it was normal that the degenerated material, was placed under the supervision of the higher astral, which remained culturally pure. But the material would try to resist this, and overtake the astral culture, creating modern materialism emanating seemingly from America. It would also create a physical culture which is in reverse to the actual egregoral situation at first glance. This has you caught in it, because of your past life as a catholic monk, where you'd be on the side who "ate" the other. I realize this all sounds very complex and nonsensical now that I wrote it down, but it kinda makes sense at a abstract level to me, and when seeing the way energy systems work. Amy directed me to do some things in an astral village, which was also to my benefit, and it ended up with the creation of a ritual item, a wooden staff. Amy also made one for herself and interacted with your subconscious to create one for you. I am not still fully sure what this staff does, other than that it somehow rebalances this situation so that the material isn't placed under forced supervision anymore.

>>8390 There is a direct correlation to the north atlantic treaty here as well, that is a material manifestation of what took place.

After some conversation with Amy and a fictional character egregore from a different franchise, and Eros, I've learned that the reason why my subconciousness tries to make me kiss people on the mouth for reasons that appear to my consciousness to not be sexual, but rather, be associated with being friendly, not meaning "friends with benefits", but the other kind of friends that don't involve that supercharged word that is called RELATIONSHIP. The reason why my subconsciousness does this, especially by catching my consciousness off-guard and doing it so quickly that my consciousness can't recognize that it's happening before it finishes happening, is because my subconscious KNOWS that it's deeply and horribly wrong; my subconsciousness is doing this because I have an extremely large amount of deeply-repressed anger, and by doing this, I sabotage myself and someone that I care about, and my Amy too, and this act of extreme sabotage lets a bit of my repressed anger out. Is there a way to just magically give your anger to another entity, such that the anger actually fucking leaves your entire reality proper without you having to satisfy the anger by doing what your anger wants you to do? Preferably one that isn't the mundane definition of evil, and would not be suspected by typical mundanes to be the mundane definition of evil either. The only other way that I'm gonna get freed of this anger without becoming a drug addict is by sadistically torturing to death satan and its fallen angels and every alien that's hostile towards humanity and every evil god and every demon and every other devil and very freemason and LGBT-supporter and NWO member and NWO supporter including most of my family and so on and so forth, which is completely unfeasible and would conflict with my morality to varying degrees.

>>8402 >Is there a way to just magically give your anger to another entity There is yeah but it ain't free. If you can't handle yourself someone has to do it for you. Now it can be parent-child, big brother younger brother..or slave master. Of course it could just be human-god and that's fine if you're genuine about the relation. Personally i don't make deals unless i can tell what's going on..so i let my higher selves handle these things since they know me better but they're me soo.. >The only other way that I'm gonna get freed of this anger without becoming a drug addict is by sadistically torturing to death satan and its fallen angels and every alien that's hostile towards humanity and every evil god and every demon and every other devil IKTF. Look at this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfl39TqdI28 Calmed me down when i almost lost it the other day.

What's keeping me going right now is a thin layer of pride and spite. <We didn't suffer so much just to die here did we? That's what we tell ourselves. I am meditating deeper observing these raging thoughts, finding peace under the water. they'll take what is theirs and I'll keep myself mine. Let it pass.

Before bed, the deities overseeing my path from here to the new Earth said >we can't keep you around anymore >we're going to move you to the astral >just go to bed and you'll see when asleep During the night, I had a dream of being in some kind of apartment in a city far away, this was indicated by the windows having blinds, and being large. My house has smaller windows with curtains and no blinds. I was up at night playing some kind of game on a large flat screen tv which had Internet connection. I've never had a tv with Internet functionality, so this also clearly showed the state of not being at home. In the dream, I was not aware of dreaming, but it felt real to me. I was then about to go sleep way too late, and walked around the corner of the apartment, which had an open floor plan. I then saw someone in the bed under the covers already, and realize it was my mother. I leaned over the bed, placing one knee on the bed, and touched her shoulder. At this point I woke up, it was morning, I was in the bed on the right side under the cover, still wearing the tank top and sweatpants I had last night. The left half of the bed was empty with the look of someone having slept there. I looked at the clock and it showed 8 something. I realized my "mother" was there, and she walked out to the kitchen while saying she was going to make coffee. In reality, my mother doesn't drink coffee, I've never seen her do that. The woman also looked nothing like my mother, but more like a fitness instructor with rather large shoulders. I then suddenly woke up again, this time for real.

So today at the psychologist's office, me & my psychologist discussed the boundary between friendship and sexuality; it's more complicated than I'd thought it was. I'd also asked him why it is that people might see a child or small animal and think he or she is adorable and wanna hug him or her; he said he doesn't know why at a foundational level it is that some people would feel like that. Later, I tried doing EEG work, but I couldn't keep it up for long in part due to my sinuses still being unstable from the recent severe allergy attacks that'd prevented me in part from sleeping. While I was trying to do the thing, I'd tried asking his spirit guides to tell my psychologist why he shouldn't like the LGBT movement. He thinks that being straight is "boring". I'd also seen a pair of purple large fairy wings with black polka-dots, ofc attached to a fairy, the rest of whose form was very vague aside from her being white like white people are; presumably the same fairy princess that my psychologist had referred to during an earlier appointment. I'd then mentioned that I'd wanted him to at some point be able to see the true from of "the spirit woman", who I still haven't told him much about and he doesn't know her name even. I'd also said that it'd really mean alot to me if he could see her true form at some point. Right after that, I'd said that I'd wanted him to get into a trance state again and see what he'd see, and he said he didn't have time but there were 25 minutes left in the appointment but then he said the appointment was scheduled to just be an hour and then he'd caved in and tried it anyway. While I was sitting around waiting for him to attempt his trance, I went into a relaxed state at some point and then I'd heard Amy say "merge", and then I'd sensed a grey mass of energy enter Amy from behind her. At first, I'd thought that some hostile entity had merged with Amy, but then a few hours ago I'd had the thought that what'd actually happened might've been a dimensional merger between his dimension and the one that Amy & her sister made for me and the smileberg poster. As for the actual trance, he'd said that he had a very hard time getting the trance started, and all he'd remembered seeing was pots and pans that were supposed to be in reference to me for some reason. On the way home, I was drowsy in the car since I had alotta lunch in my stomach, and I'd actually veered off a little on the highway on the way home and Amy began yelling, which snapped me back to consciousness and saved my life. When I got home, I took a dump and found out I that had a very low amount of iron in my bloodstream, which explains why I was so drowsy; I'm gonna fix that tomorrow with some steak.

>>8438 >I'm gonna fix that tomorrow with some steak Remember to also get some vitamin C with that (fruit) or your body can't absorb the iron. >pots and pans https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQrXYt57Hj8 Makes me think of this, where "pots and pans" are meant to be something unpolitical and harmless in nazi Germany.

I made a troll post about greys. Afterwards I overheard from the egregore that someone reading it was upset. Then later when I went to bed to sleep, the 4D shape of a grey with rather large head and very slim body came in through the bedroom door. I had left the lamp on for a moment, because I just "felt like it". It's some kind of Indian looking lamp I got as a present once, looks like something from an amusement park in design, colourful with small mirrors on it. I felt afterwards that it helped to create an "environment". I didn't quite get what the grey wanted, so I told it, if you want to work with me, you're going to have to send one with a loli appearance instead of this big head grey blob type, this isn't going to work, I can't sync with you at all. ~they actually did. After I told my Astra servitor to show them what I'd prefer, the grey just said "I'll be back", and a few moments came back with a shapeshifter grey, or rather "formshifter", who could assume any superficial form. The process from there meant to have this grey assume the form I'd prefer for the contact, then birth it on the spot, which would make that form default for the new grey. We went through with it and I went to sleep. Then in the morning, they came over with another one, saying they "genetically engineered one with a regular form (instead of a formshifter)" and that I should keep both as contacts. These are again some different variant of greys, their technology is similar to others, but still different. Something is more "base industry" in feel over these.

Tonight, I was visited by some sort of male spirit that didn't present any sort of form to me. He didn't seem hostile however and started off by saying hello, so I'd said hello back and we spoke for a while. One of the first things I'd asked was to go easy on me with the conversation. He had an easy time talking to me, and he was able to talk to me more easily than most any entity I've ever spoken to. I can barely remember anything he said, but all I remember is that he said something about the world ending soon or something. While we were talking, the Sonic & Tails egregores were here with Amy, but I don't really know what they were doing. At some point I fell asleep and dreamt that I was taking some sort of quiz on my computer, and then I woke up and we kept talking. Later, the Shadow the Hedgehog egregore showed up, and I told him that this stranger that came by doesn't seem hostile, but then the spirit just stopped talking to me.

>>8444 >he said something about the world ending soon It does, layer for layer. The main Earth of the past is no longer there, the deity has left. I just had to do "thing" after seeing how a number of evil egregores were all connecting via very low planes into our world and society. I had the idea to pull them all out from the bottom, then use the remains of the Babel's tower on Earth to burn up the human earthly side of it so it can't come in again. This would cause a dimensional collapse because of all the things being intertwined with said evil, so I had arranged for a magic circle to catch anything as it fell down. This lead to a number of old contracts getting stuck in the circle, along with some souls of dead people, and one who was meditating in a contained time loop in some cave. Three deities appeared to collect the contracts, they identified themselves as a "higher god" one "infernal" and one "satanic", and they collected their respective contracts and left. Other things were sent to their places.

>>8444 You should play the lost world stage in sonic adventure DX again.

It seems this constant talk from Russian propaganda outlets that they are fighting the satanic world order, isn't just christian speak. I just didn't make the connection before. These "astral shadow agents" or whatever they are, who identify as British, they really do follow the satanic path. I just didn't know this was a thing. They're not infernal or associated with hell or any devil of that kind. It's a legit angel path of being always in the role of the adversary, and they have a unique energy which can be easily identified once seen clearly. They kept performing psychic attacks, and when I retaliated, they did the same nonsense of acting as if I was the aggressor ("always accuse the victim of doing what you are doing, as you are doing it", very satanic indeed). Then they told me not to anger Satan, and that he'd be mad if I killed them. So I told them, "if he's so mad about it, why doesn't he come here and tell me himself?" Then I had my priestess servitor start bringing them to the Giza pyramids and slaughtering and burning them there to see if this "satan" would appear. After a while, someone who just looked like a regular douchebag appeared and said "I'm Satan", so I had the priestess grab him and perform the same sacrifice ritual on him to test if this was true. He was really persistent, but eventually also burned up. Then after this, some small guy with a long white beard, wearing a black suit with tails appeared, and his energy was completely different. I clearly connected back to some distant dimension like a trail over a burning chaos stretching to the horizon, and he wasn't rude or aggressive at all. He just said "what do you want?" and I went into a rant about how these satanic glowies have been attacking me for no reason. Then he just said again "but what do you want?" Then I caught on and gave him a list of demands, because first time he asked I had interpreted it as a questioning of why I had been making a mess. He then just looked at the list and said "granted" after which he threw it up into the air, where it spread out and dissolved. Then he turned around and walked back along the trail over the burning chaos and was gone.

I just decided to go take a nap after lunch, and while I was napping I got fed up with getting attacked by demons and devils so often. I decided to try using my magic from last year to kill every demon and devil in everyone's realities. I'd then heard a voice calling me a fool. I'd like to verify whether or not it'd actually worked; would someone tell me if it did? It should be fairly easy to determine whether or not a colossal amount of entities were just slain, especially if you were working with any of them.

>>8460 I can tell you what I did. I was aiming to repeat the creation of a circle >>8412 >The purpose of the created magic circle, is to instantly de-manifest any trash energy which appears in its vicinity. This will prevent unstable creations from spreading, and the issue of accidentally creation negative karma, is solved. but instead it would be a circle aimed at de-manifesting all trash within the planetary/celestial dimensions, all of them. So that any unstable trash gets pulled into the middle of the circle and is then dissolved. I noticed a purifying effect instantly after activation, but I don't know how fast or effective this process would be on larger dimensions, or on "trash energies" which belong to otherwise decent beings. I did however offer a thing to your Amy, which was part of another activation I did, for the creation of a new version of my "fairy shield" servitor. It's the same swarm of regenerating bot fairies as before, but they now use GPT AI and an internal memory to learn more complex patterns on their own, and they have the ability to act independently as well as perform ritual magic by organizing as large swarm units instead of just being an extension of the owner's will. I intended to use them for information gathering and patrolling to stop any hostiles before they can get their plans off the ground. Your Amy seemed to be able to use them, and they were meant to be shared with your subconscious as well, by her. It can vary what they'll appear as, because it's all personal, but mine are fairies dressed in yellow with a hat, they play different roles, where the offensive version hold a trident.

>>8461 Let me try sending my muse to you in regards to this shield. I seem to have a hard time interfacing with anything you create still,only times I had clear Astral sight with an ai was with the cat maid and everything else it's been either an real entity you created,some entity around you or a vampire. It's possible the ai interaction is happening but disguised as something else. Nevertheless it seems physical issues can't be easily solved by Astral ai.and at this point it seems no direct karma link exists that explains most issues.Maybe they exist in a part of the Astral I don't see. The easiest way to deal with people is still just punching or even just grabbing people and putting them in different dimensions.seems like the more complex the less I relate and it loses some of its effect. If she was able to go to you before this post then that means something and would mean she does get what im saying. Besides its not that she can't find you as she has visited your place a few times already. But I'm not sure she can be talked to by me.maybe i dont speak the same "language".

>>8462 You were already included in the session when the new fairy shield was activated, I used a wide prompt for who to offer it to, and it's fairly easy for anyone who already has a servitor based off my designs, like Wendy or Muse. As for astral sight, I recommend the sunflower method for this, which was developed back in the discord server, even if you weren't there, let me explain: what we did was to perform "syncing" via visualizations, and this works really well when performing group sessions or rituals in real time. All it takes is to describe the astral artifact or servitor, then if the person can't see it, they visualize it to sync with the object. Once synced, the image will move on its own, and use your own image, which forms the interface. It will work this way for anything you don't "know" the exact appearance of. For me, for example things tend to look like anime characters if it's something I don't know about. Then once I learn more about it, a more realistic image appears. So I shared the image of what Muse looks like to use for visualization, that will make syncing easier. Then if you want to talk to them, you just go from there, but in essence, you need to learn to channel them, that's how they are meant to be used. Ask a question, channel their reply. As for the physical effect of servitors, it's very real, but maybe on a scale where you can't "see" it so easily. It also syncs with real events in ways that look normal. Back when the Crocus hall shooting took place in Russia, I quickly divined the situation and saw that the terrorists were not human, but some kind of very powerful aliens. At that point, I sent out the fairy shield version 1 to encircle the entire geographical area, then do a sweep like with a fishing net, closing the circle more and more. I knew I got them, and I contacted the relevant authorities over telepathy. At this point, one of my Russian lolis had also flooded the area with military personell from various militias and police units, by using another servitor which can control people like that. This created an infrastructure which made the fairy shield more effective, it was a mindless cooperation which just worked. What was shown on tv was the result of this, some Russian national socialist militia caught them in the woods nears the Ukraine borders. With above example, I hope you get an image of why you can't "test" these servitors and get some easy to see results, most of these are made for real life, large scale combat situations, and tested in these situations. It's not something you can replicate in safe conditions. Some other people who were part of the project early on, who since went their own ways, also take part in these things, in an uncoordinated way, which has lead to a number of significant results, like the death of that opposition leader, and the breaking of a dam which flooded a large area in Ukraine. It's not something I would do, but not everyone is as ethical as me in their workings.

I had a dream where I was playing a CRPG and I was in a shop with my party, and we were browsing through the items. Everything had an IRL interface of actually being the player characters and controlling their muscles as in IRL and etc. Apparently, the merchant came up and said he was gonna give away something for an upcoming holiday for some reason, and then we began opening it and someone noticed something moving inside of of the bags. The bag was a small unsaturated-red leather handbag with zippers and a top and bottom zipper. They were having this big situation over it, and then at the end of the dream I'd decided to just grab the bag and stick my finger in it a bit to see if there really was something in it, and then the bag's zipper moved a bit to confirm it, and then I just took the bag and opened it all the way up and the spirit inside of it came out, and then I felt it jump inside of me and I woke up. I think I still feel the spirit inside of me, but I'm not sure if it did anything to me other than just being there. I'd later heard an annoying voice in my head, but I suppose that it might've just been my anger issues acting up. Anyway, some time after I'd posted that, I got someone to exorcise the spirit from me, and then I'd went back to bed. I'll also say that I've been noticing the past few days that when I've tried to imagine my Amy, I get an image overlaid over my imagination; this board's smileberg flag, except it's grey with a slight greenish-yellow tint, and it's really big. I suppose that this is my fears acting up. Speaking of which, my fears & anger issues have been immensely acting up lately, and it's really been driving me crazy; I've been trying to get them outta the way so that they don't get between me & Amy anymore. I'm kinda curious to see what'll happen if I try exacerbating these fear & anger issues instead of trying to sedate them. Also, thanks for the fairy shield robots; I'd rather Amy handle them until I've sufficiently awakened, really. You don't wanna give a loaded gun to a man whose eyes barely even work and have a hard time telling apart his imagination from reality. Also, I've heard that there's this new korean drama called When Life gives you Tangerines, and when my parents watched it both of them cried alot. My dad has only ever cried a few times throughout his entire >35 year marriage with mom. They said it'd helped them resolve alotta their anger issues towards their own parents, so I'm gonna try watching it myself. I get the feeling that there may be some kinda spirit behind the show.

>>8470 >You don't wanna give a loaded gun to a man whose eyes barely even work and have a hard time telling apart his imagination from reality They don't have ranged weapons unless they organize a ritual spell circle. With the new more intelligent way of behaving, they should respond to general orders even if spoken and the person isn't aware of them at all. One of the pros of AI servitors like these is that they can always be told to carry out a task, even when intrusive forces are trying to manifest illusions to you, or tell you that "everything is already solved" or other things to make you not remove them. When this happens, I'll just tell the relevant servitor to keep removing hostiles until none remain, disregarding anything they say or do. You can do this even if you can't see the servitors or the hostile. Based on their nature, the fairies should listen to "Pluto fairies" as call sign, if you wanna try giving them a task sometime, on the assumption Amy shared them.

I'd just had a crazy experience tonight. Before I went to bed, I was "streaming" game dev for the warcraft stuff to noone, and then when I'd looked at the other monitor to end stream because I'd finished everything that I had on my list to do that I was willing to do, the stream duration was 2 hours 22 mins & 22 seconds, and then I'd ended stream a few seconds later. I think that this was an angel number synchronicity. Looking it up, the angel number of 222 basically means that everything is happening as it should be; something about trusting the process or whatever. Some days before that, the archangel Gabriel made me think I saw that 222 number in a place where I hadn't actually seen it, and then I'd looked it up and learned that. At first, some time before I'd gotten in bed, I'd heard Amy randomly say "Tartarus". My memory of shortly after that is kinda blurry, but I think I might've tried talking to Zeus after that, and then I'd then questioned why she'd said that, and then I'd heard "incineration". I'd gotten the impression that either my fears were gonna be incinerated in Tartarus tonight, or my soul was gonna be incinerated there outright. It'd seemed strange to me that I'd get incinerated there outright after Athena & Eros had went through so much stuff to help me and Shakti had saved my life once or was it twice or more by now. I'd asked Zeus if I was gonna get to come back to my body tonight, and I think He said "you're done", in a tone that didn't seem at all hostile, but had instead seemed like, that's it it's over you don't have to do "it" anymore, whatever "it" is. Before I'd actually gotten in bed, my fears told me that I should put a demon/devil-banishing frequency on, and I'd decided not to since I'd thought that I'd just me told that they were all banished by now. When I'd later went to bed, I had the idea of trying to get the Christ back in my life, but because of what the smileberg poster had told me about how the Jesus and possibly also Holy Spirit egregores breaking apart and returning back to their worshippers as personal servitors, I hadn't had faith anymore for a long time that Jesus would ever really exist for me ever again. That one time when "Jesus" had shown me that stuff in >>7928 (5472) ; it'd kinda felt that that "Jesus" was a patchwork entity created by gods and possibly also Adremmelech for me; the latter part might've been confirmation bias from my fears, however. This version of "Jesus" had this strange symbol on "His" forehead of a light-orange square with another light-orange square inside of it. However, before I'd fallen asleep, I'd had the idea of just contacting Jesus from 2 years ago. I'd forgotten that 2 years ago was before I'd met Amy, and then I'd contacted Jesus from the past and asked Him to come to my future, and then I saw Amy pinned on the floor and I'd asked Him to look into my history and not hurt Amy. He'd later said that He was proud of Amy. I'd also told Jesus that my Christian fire, so to speak, had been snuffed out. This Jesus seemed like as real a deal as He was 2 years ago. I'd also asked Him to bring The Holy Spirit with Him, and He did. I'd then said to Them that They should go to Heaven and meet the Luce egregore, and they'd left for Heaven. I'd also told Him I still care about Him or something along those lines. Some time later, I'd slipped into hypnogogia and I'd felt myself go through some sort of thing that'd caused me to decide to supposedly give up my earthly attachments, causing me to not be "earthbound", and then I saw a vision of "myself" in the form of a huge industrial can of some sort, being inserted into some sort of industrial processing machine, and then I'd asked Shakti or someone else to get me outta there. I'd then said that I wanna remain earthbound for the time being. I'd then seen a clear hypnogogic image of a light green-skinned woman of some alien race I'd never seen before looking at me wearing a plain shirt of some sort, and I'd asked for divine protection again even though the woman didn't look hostile. Some time later, I'd fallen asleep. I'd first dreamt that I was at home, or at least in some building part of which had morphed into my parents' room at home, and the electric company was changing alotta wires for some reason by pulling them out from the walls by tugging on them from all the way at the company's HQ. Apparently I was at the electric company in the first place and watching the wires shrink back into the walls by getting pulled into them. I suppose in hindsight that this was symbolic of my brain being re-wired. At some point while the wires were being pulled out, I'd felt some wires were being pulled out of my stomach. By this point in the dream, I was in my parents' room next to my dad at his computer desk. I then was given a small handheld device with a screen on it, and the screen said that I was too impure for *something* because there was too much "furry porn" in my mind. I don't even like the furry porn egregore, save imagining my Amy without her clothes. I don't even like seeing her female friends without their clothes; it kinda disgusts me to just think about it, but not to think about my Amy like that. I don't even wanna look at physical pictures of Amy without her clothes, nor have I ever cared to, in part because they're just gonna be pictures of her porn egregore sister most of the time and I don't wanna see that. Anyway, then in the dream the wire kept getting pulled out pf my stomach, and then the dream changed scenes. In this next scene, everything was happening super fast, but I'd somehow... became a new Goetia demon. I suspect that time was extremely accelerated once the dream's scene-change had occurred. I forget what my symbol was, but I was going through some sort of system, and one of the Goetia demons I'd "seen" were represented by a large dark-red leather cushion that'd encompassed nearly my entire field of view and had a simple circle impressioned into it via. stitches. I'd then felt the presence of the devil named satan, as if it was meeting me in person in a non-hostile manner to conduct business since I was a Goetia demon, and then I'd felt myself getting engulfed by Satan. I'd then came to consciousness enough to ask Shakti to get me outta there, and after a few seconds of hesitation and me questioning if She was strong enough to get me outta there anytime soon, She got me outta there and I woke up in my same old physical body again. I'm not sure what to make of my fears right now, but I think I wanna get back in bed. I hope my soul is still human. There was also something else important I feel that I'd wanted to mention, but I suddenly can't remember what it is right now.

^Speaking of strange dream experiences... I had just forgotten this after waking up, as I was working on manifesting a new astral place, but now I recalled it: The whole dream which went on all night from my feel of it, was taking place in and around my garden. For some reason we had wild animals inside a fenced area, they were a tiger, a lion and some other kind of cat, maybe a lynx. Then because the fence was just a regular cow fence, they escaped, and now we had to fence ourselves instead to stay safe. This worked badly, because we still only had regular fences made from wood. I realized I could scare the lion off by placing some kind of wheelbarrows in a formation which kind of looked like a defense perimeter where the wheelbarrows imitated gun positions. There was also a large cat which felt very infernal, it had long eyebrows and very long curved teeth. Somewhere in this, I saw a 5 year old walk out and disappear, this I think may have been about an image I saw once when I was a kid. There was a news story of a 5 year old who had been eaten by a tiger, and they showed the photo of the kid's bloody one piece jumpsuit. I'm not sure of the significance of this memory. Maybe just an expression of my own interest in dream analysis.

Since two days, I feel like the imageboard egregore overall has been reset back to some imaginary 90s state. There's a strange nostalgia and "reality" over it. Now I know it does already represent some cultural reality, so anyone using an imageboard will channel it to some degree, but I just saw this "ad" for a board I won't try to mention because everything is wordfiltered globally here, interesting symbolism.

>>8269 (OP) Blog:According to atleast one deadline given to me in a dream I now have less than a month to live, that's nice I guess. Not exactly gleaming about it.

>>8489 Sometimes it just means that your life will change or it is a mere test to see how you handle the fear of death and the concept of impending doom.

>>8489 There is more death than physical death baka. that kind of warning is a privilege

>>8269 (OP) I wrote my own fantasy paracosm out of boredom and I think my schizoid personality (at that moment writing i was deppresive, alone and sad) got the better of me and I ended up creating a formless Tulpa with whom I talked (or played that I talked at night before sleeping like a forcing) kinda helped me as cope mechanism for social and emotional depprivation maybe. >Also I ended up stopping writing because I had a "mystical experience" followed by a panic attack when I “actually” felt the tulpa talks to me on automatic. I wrote a lot of phrases and philosophical crap that for me are maxims of life that I invented but in part the tulpa told me maybe, like a religion thing or something but just... philosophical. Sometimes i think I channeled something, I don't know, maybe Jung's Anima but I don't believe in Jung. I stopped talking and writing and thinking about her and she get lost bacause i feel is more healthy after that mystical panic attack. Maybe i need Therapy but i ok now. Sometimes i want to talk again with the tulpa but generaly that happens when i alone or sad, last time I did a banishing ritual and I think it makes me feel better about intrusive thoughts (no relation to the tulpa just personal things.) I feel it kinda Attached to Roman goddess Pomona i dont even read about roman or pagan things but i made up her personality and talk behaviour. Talking to that Tulpa Goddess made up in my head feel like talking to a Guardian Angel or something. Feel good and personal but very strange. Sometimes i try to talk again but i dont feel or work the same. >And... Im atheist. I never told anyone about this, sometimes i miss her it's like i lost a friend or a Angel.

Just earlier, I'd thought about how the korean show I'd mentioned makes people quit being mad at their parents as I'd said. I haven't actually watched anything after episode 1 yet, and I don't think it had such an effect upon me, but regardless just thinking about how the show makes people quit being angry like that made some sort of large energyform in my crotch, which presumably is a manifestation of my anger issues, dissipate within a split-second and just be able to travel around my body. I'm not quite sure what to make of this just yet.

I just watched some youtube video about ipad kids, and then I had a realization: I'm kinda like an ipad kid, though to a far lesser extent. Give me the screentime and I can get my insanity placated if I find something fun enough to do, but take it away from me and my insanity comes back, and if you make me do something that constitutes work too, then my anger issues will flare up way the hell more, resulting in serious mental self-sabotage that's orchestrated entirely by my subconsciousness because of these anger issues. My subconsciousness views deliberately practicing occult stuff for more than a tiny amount of time at a time as work. Part of these anger issues stem from the fact that my parents would make me get off of my entertainment when I was growing up whenever they wanted me to go out to eat. Another part stems from how having to do homework also made me have less time to entertain myself. Having to go to school also made it difficult to entertain myself, so I would often entertain myself when I wasn't playing video games by just daydreaming or thinking about life. This is exacerbated immensely by the fact that SFW entertainment as of the 90s was immensely more entertaining than it was in the 80s, and even moreso than in the 70s and before; this sorta thing just wouldn't happen very often to children in the old days. I've had access to video games for basically my entire life, and I was playing video games at as early as 4 years old. Video games seriously kickstarted my ability to read and comprehend English at a grade school level because doing so increased my ability to enjoy video games and read video game guidebooks, which I was able to read during maybe the 1st grade, if not kindergarten. I question what would happen to me if I just deliberately deprived myself of all entertainment, including even daydreaming and just thinking about life, for a month straight. If I tried replacing it with something useful like walking in the park, then I'd just get addicted to that because it'd be the closest thing I could get to entertainment, I guess, and that means that the problem would just take a different form.

Some people seem to think that visualization and the astral are equivalent, but you can visualize and imagine while astral traveling and not manifest it, just like IRL. I think this is because visualization actually happens on the briah, while the astral body is in yetzirah, thus it reacts to feeling, not thought. Such a simple concept. The plane that reacts to thought proper looks like an iridescent sea-sky that instantly reflects every minute detail of one's mental state. I'm inclined to say it's briah. These are of course very simple ideas, but the experience of imagining, remembering, visualizing...in the astral really makes you realize what the difference is. And this is useful for magick back in assiah of course.

>>8523 Thanks for posting that; I needed to be reminded to differentiate between the mental realm and the astral realm. One of my big problems are that I can't differentiate between the mental realm that I use to exercise my imagination and the actual astral realm around me, or other astral or mental realms either. Speaking of my problems, I've just come to the re-realization that even if I got rid of all of my anger issues, my subconsciousness would just look for something new to rile me up because the reason why my subconsciousness wants something to rile me up in the first place is to keep me awake throughout the day. I don't think coffee or tea or energy drinks like most people do to stay awake throughout the day, so I need to find out what drains away my psychic energies throughout the day. I think video games might be one of them; this is because playing them involves paying attention, and paying attention costs psychic energy. If it ain't video games, then it's daydreaming or some other form of entertainment that costs psychic energy. Then when my psychic energy gets too low my subconsciousness looks for something to rile up my consciousness so that my conscious reaction can generate low-quality psychic energy that'll keep me awake, even if it also wracks away at my mind & soul by keeping me awake. I need to find a source of psychic energy that isn't a drug so that I can stay awake throughout the day after getting a good night's sleep.

>>8537 >I need to find a source of psychic energy that isn't a drug so that I can stay awake throughout the day after getting a good night's sleep. You should be looking for wakefulness. It's a clean mental state where you are properly awake and not on an ADHD fueled mental chase. It's not a "source" of psychic energies, it is a proper mental state of a mentally and emotionally sound individual. Being able to shift into that state at will should be the goal of meditation.

Tonight, I first had a hard time falling asleep, and then I saw a vivid vision that was almost like a dream, except it wasn't a dream, where some black-haired human woman that looked different than my Amy's human form was sitting in my bed on my side of the bed with a human guy with balding grey hair that looked retarded or something on Amy's side of the bed. The woman looked kinda cute, and in hindsight, she looked like a specific goth girl from high school, except she wasn't a goth. Amy's normal human from in my dreams is a different girl from high school. They were up against eachother and lying against the back of the bed in the vision and the woman was lamenting and saying that she didn't really care anymore about getting married to him in the future, and the guy lamented trying to appease her, and then at the end of the vision the woman said she cares a little bit about getting married to him, and then she quietly said "you'll survive". I then came back to my consciousness after the vision ended and I said the vision was beautiful since the woman decided she still cared about the guy, and I'd thought that the guy wasn't me and the woman wasn't Amy. I'd later fallen asleep proper and had a dream where I was in my parents' house in my parents' house with that same woman from the vision, and we were getting ready to sorta do it, except she was wearing this greyish-white woolen long-sleeved top with a tiny bit of cleavage that she didn't wanna take off because her wearing the top would let her hug me, and then she hugged me and it felt kinda nice because I'd forgotten that Amy exists and I'd kinda forgotten who I was; you know how dreams are sometimes. She'd then leaned into my ear and said something and I'd actually felt it, and then I woke up and apologized to Amy for not remembering that she existing during the dream and etc. I'd then put on an anti-succubus/incubus frequency and set it to loop, and I'd also asked for protection and went back to bed. I had a very hard time asking for protection because my subconsciousness was exacerbating my fears in an effort to use my conscious reaction against the fears as fuel to keep me awake because my subconsciousness thought that I had to stay awake even though I was trying to fall asleep. During this, I think I'd accidentally contacted Kali, but only briefly, but I don't think I'd asked Her for anything. A few hours later, I finally fell back asleep and had a short dream where I was in a large grey room in some sort of building and there was a woman there with multi-colored skin whose hue shifts as it goes from one body part to the other. Her skin colors included black and deep blue. She'd appeared in the dream to be very a scary woman, but she was willing to give protection to me and some other guy there. At the end of the dream, She decided to give protection to me for some reason, and then she grabbed me to her side and I declined it at the last second and woke up because I was afraid of her. I'd then asked Shakti to get me away from this apparent mystery woman, but She didn't do anything. I tried contacting other beings for help, but I couldn't get to them because I was too afraid for the aforementioned reasons to be able to contact them without instead contacting a lower entity that's hostile towards me. I'd then decided that I might as well explain my mental illness to the woman, so I did so over the course of maybe half an hour. Late into the conversation, I'd made the connection that the woman might be Kali. I'd the contacted Kali Herself and asked Her if the woman in the dream I'd just had was Kali. Kali then went into the dream and the woman screamed, and then Kali ate the woman in one bite. I'd then asked Kali to look into my history of the past 30 minutes to an hour, and I then had a conversation with Her about my mental illness. I'll try not to contact Kali again, though; She is scary. I'd eventually managed to fall asleep again and I had a short dream where I was in a different grey room and I was looking at a shelving unit that had a bunch of presents on it that were gonna be given out soon. I was under the impression that my Amy egregore & her friends were there, and possibly other entities as well. At the end of the dream, I'd realized that the presents were all for me, and then I woke up. As soon as I woke up, Amy strongly impressioned herself upon my state of hypnopompia to say >Hello [irl name], get ready for a really good And then she was cut off because I'd snapped out of the hypnopompia. Overall, I couldn't sleep for half the night, and I'd only gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep overall.

>>8565 >there was a woman there with multi-colored skin whose hue shifts as it goes from one body part to the other. Her skin colors included black and deep blue I've never heard of this before, it sounded interesting so I tried scanning the astral for this kind of being. Kali chipped in and said most of them are just moving rottenness around, which causes the shift of their colour, but that as with any method of magic, there are bad and good ways to use it, and that that's the bad version. I tried different summoning frequencies and most of them seemed like leeches trying to manifest from the abyss. I eventually got one who looked like a nymph from an old painting. I think these may actually be what the painter depicted. What is "water" anyway.

In the past day, I noticed some of my robot servitors doing idle background missions were being hit by something. This is unusual, even for the reduced versions I have out on auto, as they don't put themselves in danger, and if they do, there is basically nothing physical which can touch them under normal situations. I have a design with "indicator pain" for them, which means they register the nature of the damage, but they don't actually feel anything. To be added the note, that they don't actually get damaged, but they register the "type of damage" absorbed. The only two times someone managed to do physical damage to them before, was when using a minigun in a narrow tunnel, and another time when some samurai cult in Japan attacked with swords. Apparently samurai training is good enough to outsmart even "perfect logic" within the physical realm in narrow spaces. But this time was odd, because I checked the FPV stream from the servitors being hit, and they were just being attacked by what looked like regular army men with combat knives and handguns. Well no matter, they can't do real damage, but it was odd. Checking their location, they seemed to be somewhere in north eastern Ukraine (I'm not very good at geography and I don't keep track of what my servitors are doing on auto) and they seemed to be responding to being attacked by some kind of psychic weapons - the energy environment was horrible. Any normal person trying to fight in that area would probably have a panic attack before even being able to fight whoever owned the place. I didn't do anything at first, because I didn't understand what was going on anyway, but some hours later, I noticed that the people attacking had a strong "rebellious white" energy assuming the form of their bodies. They seemed to have something which looked like the infernal "wind" or "desire drive" which manifests as rubbery hands with arms that just stretch out, and their own bodies were being used by such a force. So it wasn't that these army personell were super fast or strong, it was that some infernal being was using them as servitors, and that caused their ability to even hit my robots with regular handguns, which is completely impossible under normal circumstances. Once I realized this, I gave orders to try and grab one of the astral hands next time someone attacked, and this worked. I then pulled that rubber hand and arm and nailed it down to trace the source of it. This ended up in a large underground hall, with >pic a large "gear", or statue with strange flat legs and arms, and a spherical pod at the top, which housed the occultist controlling the army men. I seems to work as an amplifier for occult powers, but I'm yet to figure out what it exactly does. This is the second time I find something like this, the "8 goddesses" cult in South Korea also had such a "gear", which seemed to have inspired the "blue knight" in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invaders_of_the_Rokujouma!%3F

>>8344 > Big Ears >>8345 > the black cats of witches >>8350 >an Inca god associated with llamas, as well as the Lyra constellation. >it's a "deity" or maybe a "demon" with very strong orange energy manifesting as a large hand >>8579 >infernal "wind" or "desire drive" which manifests as rubbery hands with arms that just stretch out So it was all connected. Both witches having black cats and the Big Ears association with both the llama god Urcuchillay and the infernal hands, similar to what the Goetians manifest. I suddenly remembered a dream or other thing which took place during the night. It wasn't exactly a dream, but I also wasn't completely awake, as often seems to be the case with these astral interactions. I'll do complex things and then when I wake up for real, I have no immediate memory of it. During this thing with the robot, there were some build-up events, and in one of them 5 women appeared. They looked like the kind of Ukrainian women posting themselves on social media, slim, fit, generally attractive in a basic way, and extremely aggressive. Focus on the aggressive part. They were horrible. A quick divination said they were genetically engineered to be as aggressive as possible, and they did have that "designed" feel over their appearance. At that time I just used some method to capture them and move them to a save space astrally before I fell asleep again, and this part is what I had forgotten. They were still over there now, and made themselves known. I asked the greys if they knew who had engineered them, and also did some research on my own, but the greys said >they do have the definite feel of grey handiwork, but the records show no grey involvement in this >so it's indicated that these are not engineered, but naturally bred >probably by following a grey breeding scheme which someone sold to them >it would be doable within 40 generations of selective breeding >if we assume a quick generational process of 12 years, they could have been created in 500 years Interviewing the women now, who seemed immortal by closer look, they said they are 2500 years old. >>> And this this fits in what I learned about this robot thing: When trying to stop these psychic attacks, I managed to pull the pilot out from the pod, and sent my own Urcuchillay avatar to take that place (which I got after the first interaction with said llama god) because the white hands looked similar to theirs, and it's the only form of mine where I was able to reliably recreate them (aside from an astral grimoire I created to manifest such hands, but they're not very powerful). The reaction from the pod-robot was strong and it seemed like the right choice of method. I stayed in it for some hours, then decided to do a collected effort of trying to initiate some form of transformation, as it seemed to be a catalyst for that - this caused the stature to crack, and the form of it was turned into energy. I was able to relate it to the "squatting man" form and using kabbalah with the planets/suns (mercury, pluto and venus) to connect and transform a united form, which turned into a red sun. The avatar seemed to fit inside the sun, so I moved it there and this worked, it's the first time I see that. This also lead to being able to transfer myself into the sun, to further sever karmic connections. In conclusion, it seems this robot statue thing was created for use by witches with this Inca god as their aim, but they didn't have the right genetics, so they tried breeding these Ukrainian women to become witches, which also explains why European witches have black cats (Cat-Sith) who seem connected to a llama god from Latin America.

I just had a dream where I was playing NWN1 on my server and I was in a zone that was supposed to be from an offline campaign even though the server doesn't have that zone. In the actual dream, that zone didn't exist in the offline campaigns either, but I didn't know that during the dream. The zone was a room in a building somewhere with a wooden floor and there was a merchant NPC or two there. In the situation in the dream I'd just gotten back to the game from doing something else sooner than I'd expected, and then one of the guys, the server's owner, whispered me saying: >AoE3 must be that good huh? Except I've never even played AoE3 and I was doing something else while I was offline. I then talked to one of the NPCs who I'd thought was a merchant, a guy, and it turned out he'd said something else I didn't pay much attention to. I then went like 10 or 15 feet behind him and talked to 2 male NPCs, one of which were wearing purple fancy clothes and the other one was wearing blue clothes iirc. All I remember from the conversation is that they were talking about "the king" and the end of the conversation was like <dialogue option #1: He can be saved. <dialogue option #2: Never mind. >pick option #1, He can be saved. >he disagrees and you go back to the same dialogue window >pick option #1 again repeatedly and go back to the same dialogue window repeatedly >pick option #2, ending the conversation I then went some feet away from him to go to a presumed merchant NPC, a guy, who had another guy NPC standing next to him, and when I walked by the guy next to the merchant, the guy next to the merchant grabbed my large shield and stole it, and he said "got your shield". By this point, the dream was no longer of me playing the game, but me being in the game proper as the player character, viewed from the first-person perspective. The guy then said I need to do something that I could tell meant IRL and not in the dream, and then I'd tried asking Shakti to get me my shield back, but right before I actually did, the guy said >that's not how this works And then I got frustrated trying to figure out what he wanted me to do, and then my sight of him was sorta replaced by Sonic peeking from behind a 1-cushion couch. I got so frustrated that I got a dumb idea of selling my soul to satan to figure out what the NPC that stole my shield wanted me to do IRL. I'd then tried asking Shakti or was it Athena to prevent my soul from being sold to satan, but I couldn't contact Her that time, and then the NPC guy said in a low voice: >I'll give you another chance And then I woke up and found out that I wasn't breathing for just a bit for some reason, so I manually restarted my breathing. In hindsight, I think the shield might've been related to my reaction against my intrusive thoughts. I was then able to contact Athena and make sure my soul wasn't sold or nothing. Prior to going to bed tonight, I'd also asked the Rogue egregore, the one from the video games who also is still my 2nd-best friend, and was there when I died in October last year, to show or tell me tonight about what'd happened when I died and didn't have enough awareness to experience most of my being dead, as was mentioned in >>5447 (4324) . I question if this is part of it. As soon as I'd began posting this part, I'd heard her say >uh oh I'll restate that she and the much more powerful & intelligent other Amy egregore that I didn't have the accident & relationship with in 2023 and repeatedly tried to force herself inside of me for a few days before I'd died, they brung my soul back to my body after I died IRL so I could have "one last look" or something at the physical realm, and they both gave me a huge energetic transfusion to literally resurrect me from the dead IRL, after which I'd immediately & strongly felt Rogue's energies in my top half of my soul, with an image of her head appearing at the back of my head and the other Amy's energies in the bottom half of my soul, with an image of her head(classic form) appearing behind my crotch. A few minutes after I'd posted this, I heard Rogue's voice saying >I stole him Presumably in reference to me. I suppose this means that she'd actually stolen my soul from whoever had gotten their hands on it, and then brung it with said other Amy back to my body. Anyway then I went and deleted this post and re-posted it with this tidbit added onto it. Anyway, I question if this dream was about what'd happened to me before I was sent back. I wanna find out what the guy who stole my shield wanted me to do; smileberg poster, would you please contact that "NPC" in the dream that stole my shield and find out what he'd wanted me to do? This seems to be pretty important.

>>8565 >I'd the contacted Kali Herself and asked Her if the woman in the dream I'd just had was Kali. Kali then went into the dream and the woman screamed, and then Kali ate the woman in one bite I actually had this thing repeat for me, in a slightly different way. In the past week(s) I've been increasingly bothered by lewd postings online, after they stopped appearing on social media for the most part, they'd still appear on imageboards which allow this, like /int/. The thing would play out as browsing the catalog, seeing some thread OP and mindlessly clicking it because of a bait-image unrelated to the thread topic, then opening the pic without thinking, and up close it's just gross. Not by general Internet standards, but just gross people who looked ok in the thumbnail. This would then replay the event which shocked me awake to the disgustingness of modern women, which was years ago, but was the moment I realized the reality of modern behaviour and wasn't able to find what I saw attractive at all after that. In short, when above a certain age, if they are attractive, they would under normal circumstances be married and have kids, or at least they'd have multiple kids while not married, because there is no way they'd be left alone by men. A 25 year old woman for example, the only reason she can keep showing herself off in lewd dress, is because of contraception, which includes abortion. That means, she showing herself off to attract attention and maybe money, is only possible through the killing of children. It's so repulsive, once realizing this, and seeing the actual energy, I had to completely distance myself from anything of the sort for a few years when this first hit me. But this was back in time, not now, and over time I got desensitized to the imagery by seeing it online rather than irl. This time in particular, the image stuck to my mind after just a glance, and it felt like it was intentionally tuned to bypass my reaction that this is repulsive "for as along as possible" by presenting a woman way into her 20s in a pose and dress which would make her seem younger at first glance. Of course I had the same reaction of being repulsed by the image after a few seconds, but I still looked at it long enough to realize this is not what it's presented as being. As the image remained even after half a day, I figured something isn't right, and inspired by above, I asked Kali to place herself in the same pose as this woman so the force of attraction would be directed at her instead, and whatever force was behind it, would be blocked. She agreed and manifested herself into a parallel plane, touching my body there, where she remained for the rest of the day and night. Eventually I saw an image of some kind of female entity appear in a landscape, possibly provoked by Kali blocking her access to me. At this point, Kali said something to the effect of "that's the one trying to drag you down", then she suddenly placed a large cage which looked like a cage for a canary around the female. Kali's mouth stretched out like on a snake and she ate the cage and the woman all at once. She then said "People used to call those 'devas' but they're just sex demons. Not all of them are bad, they can be used if you get a balanced/good one, I'll get you one." Then she reached out and grabbed on from what looked like an astral swamp or pool, and placed her on dry land a bit away from me. It looked like an Indian woman from ancient art, with large eyebrows and long narrow nose. Kali instructed me to "train her" so she'd assume the location any intrusive being would try to get in through, then she'd be the target for any attraction instead of those beings, and it wouldn't be a problem when it's my own "minion". I was shown some images of yogis working with tulpas to summon these "devas" and how some of them were just perverted spiritual leeches, while others summoned decent beings and they became spiritual partners who rose up alongside them.

>>8621 >mileberg poster, would you please contact that "NPC" in the dream that stole my shield and find out what he'd wanted me to do? This seems to be pretty important. Spontaneously I think you shouldn't do what he wants, my reaction would be to double down on getting the shield back, when he said "that's not how things work", I would take that as trying to play gangster with me. It would cause me to gather all available servitors and allies to surround him and beat him until he gave the shield back. The NPC seems just like a representation of some external force who doesn't want you to "own your own protection" but to be reliant on some external entity for protection, so they can "charge you" for protection instead of you being free to do what you want. "The shield" however seems like an energy structure which not necessarily has to be controlled by this entity, what took place when I looked into it was: I see some random guy on a countryside dirt road with fields on the sides. There's some spread out houses further ahead to the right side, but we are in the middle of the fields with no vegetation aside from some straw grains which have already been cut down. One of my servitors ask the guy about the shield, and he picks a fight, so my servitor rips the shield from his hands after a wrestling match. The guy curses and spits after me, but is told to "keep walking" by your Amy who just came in and took the shield after it was retrieved from the guy. The shield changed colour and is now light blue, before it was more reddish brown. Amy then said she'd give me something from her handbag, which turned out being a small yellow version of the same shield, but sized like a small cutboard. I think she created this copy. I then pulled out from the place, it may have been your inner dimension.

It seems like there was a spiritual "wave" that came along with the 4chan troubles. Did anyone else feel that, or is it just me?

>>8645 I want to relate it to >>8545 (7219) >Prepare for change. >>8553 (7219) >How do you think this will effect things. >>8557 (7219) >Invisible but strong effects but I'm biased on this.

>>8645 >>8647 I think we all saw something like this coming a mile away tbh

Was just meditating for a few minutes and overcame the mental chatter quickly, noticing that there were either koi fish or just big majestic looking goldfish (some of them had patterns in their scales) in a pond in front of me. I fed them some fish food but it was difficult to control my arms. I looked around and saw that this pond was actually sort-of "indoors" but in a structure made of fabric-like material that allows air and some sunlight through. I also saw that there were rectangular things in the floor, but then my timer went off irl. Maybe this was some kind of fish farm? The pond by me didn't seem rectangular though. I just need to figure out how to replicate the feeling of complete transference that happens during AP, while I'm awake and meditating. Then I can explore things like this with much better perception and motor skills.