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Anonymous 08/07/2025 (Thu) 14:36:41 No. 532880
Would anyone mind explaining, to a horny lil’ autist like me, a particular aspect of sex that I just don’t understand? It’s the hair pulling, spanking, choking, tying up, spitting in their mouth type shit that I just don’t get. I’m not arguing against it, I just literally don’t understand what people get out of that and I would like to know. I know vaguely that it has something to do with concepts of domination or “power play,” but honestly I guess I don’t understand much about that either. More broadly, and not just in sexual terms, I’ve read about concepts of “power,” but always thought of it more like “drama” in a way, where it’s kinda bullshit that people just get themselves wrapped up into. I can’t think of a time I’ve ever felt that someone had power over me, or that I’ve had power over someone, or desired such a thing; nor do I know what that would feel like or why I would want it. Maybe my brain is missing whatever clump of neurons responds to whatever “power” is. I mention this because it’s probably key to understanding my original question. Probably on account of the ‘tism. So back to sex — I tend to go for the goth/alt chicks, mostly because I like the hair, makeup, outfits, and attitude. But those ladies tend to want it more rough and I’m pretty sure I’ve disappointed when they’ve wanted me to choke them or whatever, because I don’t know what it is they’re really looking for in that.
Fellow horny autistic here! To me it's all about the feeling that nothing is off the table, tying up and spanking are more like declarations that all sorts of sexual deviancy are allowed, for tying up there's also the humiliation aspect, embarrassment as a whole makes me feel warm and horny, and be it me or my partner, knowing that that feeling is present makes me very horny. As for power play I'm kind of in the same table as you, never really felt like anyone had power over me, or I had over anyone. But I guess the power play is just that, a game, and pretending you can fully control/ be controlled by someone can be fun I guess, especially in a sexual context.
Fellow horny autistic here! To me it's all about the feeling that nothing is off the table, tying up and spanking are more like declarations that all sorts of sexual deviancy are allowed, for tying up there's also the humiliation aspect, embarrassment as a whole makes me feel warm and horny, and be it me or my partner, knowing that that feeling is present makes me very horny. As for power play I'm kind of in the same table as you, never really felt like anyone had power over me, or I had over anyone. But I guess the power play is just that, a game, and pretending you can fully control/ be controlled by someone can be fun I guess, especially in a sexual context.
>>532890 >humiliation and embarrassment Do you like feeling embarrassed? Or knowing SHE is embarrassed? This is interesting, and likely another thing I don't get. I feel like a blind person trying to comprehend color with this shit. Maybe I'm just not creative enough, but as far as nothing being off the table, I feel like as long as I'm having sex and seeing boobs, I'm pretty satiated. Can't think of much more I would want... stick a finger in her asshole or something, but that's more like frosting on the cake than another primordial itch I NEED scratched.
>>532899 Drunk hapless romantic autist on a post horny depressive streak here The human brain is complex and impossible to comprehend, a woman's brain even moreso. They frequently have a lot of wants and needs, sometimes contradictory, almost never satiated, but they do ultimately seek out someone who can embrace that kinkiest side. Women love toying with power dynamics and control more than anything else, in what directions and to what extent or even when varies. A lot just want the thrill of danger, some love being the victim whose life is dependent on their lover while he's beating her to a pulp, others want to inflict that pain onto others. Sex for a lot of people is the culmination of acting and indulging on your desires for another, and if one has a kink such as pain it can be introduced as an extra arousal trigger and amplify the pleasure rush of dopamine and noradrenaline. It's a matter of how much you trust your woman and vice versa in a relationship, with enough trust nothing is impossible in bed, it's also what a lot of people in general look for in a relationship overall. I wouldn't want to damage any girlfriends I get, I'm too much of a puss for that, she'd have to pretty explicitly say "I want this" a hundred times before I'd even consider it myself, but depending on the girl if it keeps the relationship stable I'd kill for her. Need woman. Need woman bad.
I will explain. First and foremost, there are somethings that you see in porn that exist only there. And it is a kink of only the man (occasionally woman) Directing the scene or movie. Spitting in their mouth, is probably the rarest kink of all. That is overwhelmingly a MALE kink. It's a demonstration of power and it is about degrading the woman, and her (his) either by force or submission accepting the man. This is something an angry person has sexualized. They either hate themselves and get off by being humiliated and degraded, or they get off by humiliating and degrading someone else. See studies on sadism and/or masochism for more. Those kinks are heavily associated with that. (Commonly referred to as S and M, or when paired with Bondage. BDSM) FYI, Sadism and Masochism are also individual behavioral traits and are not always sexualized or sexual. A sexual sadist is not always dangerous, but a Sadist always is. The other kinks you mentioned are FAR more common. They can enjoy these things in different ways. Sometimes it is just the physical sensation that turns them on. Sometimes it is JUST, or it is ALSO, the psychological aspect of one or all of these acts. Hair pulling, if done exactly correct and in a specific way most women and people enjoy this sensation (or would if they tried receiving). This must be done at eh base of the skull, lightly with little pressure and escalating to a light firm hold. (Still on hair pulling). The women who truly enjoy it, must be okay with their hair being messed up. So, there will be some days where this would be a NO for them. And this the number one reason the majority of women reject any hair pulling. Those who like to be dominated, like the hair pulling to be done at specific times in the build up to sex and during sex. Spanking is probably the most commonly enjoyed of these. And it is mostly for the sensation. Again, during specific moments. This might be limited to a single smack at just the right moment. To explain what the sensation does, many women, like their ass grabbed and squeezed and/or groped during an intimate moment. The nerves there, are close to their genitalia. And a light slap or a grope, (at varying levels) feels good. As far as psychology goes. These acts also demonstrate to the target your desire for the target physically manifested. Ether a way of saying you are mine in an affectionate way, or I want to take you now and even though we can't right now, if we could, I would. Actual, put over the knee and spanking (or something similar). Sometimes it is about the sensation of pain (intensity will vary). Going from pain to pleasure, makes the pleasure more intense. Sometimes the target can go down a rabbit hole with these sensations and like a drug addict who needs more, goes more intense over time. (that's not very common though). Sometimes, it is just about the power dynamic, sometimes it's both the power dynamic and physical feeling. It's being controlled and possessed, or being the one who is possessing and controlling. Being possessed by someone can be very validating to the target. (I'll explain this now because these thoughts and feelings are usually associated with these kinks or acts) Just as possessing someone can be validating to the one doing it. The target is desirable enough for someone to want them so intensely, that this person physically makes it happen and demonstrates their need to do so. The dominate party in the controlling/possession aspect, can feel different ways during the specific acts. But those feelings are always linked to making another submit, by the dominate party's value, or simply by their own will. CHOKING. Sometimes this is purely about the sensation. Timed correctly, lack of oxygen can intensify the pleasure of an orgasm. This is why so many people die by asphyxiation, even going to far as to hang themselves by a belt while masturbating. (I suggest sticking to just holding your breath.) Sometimes it's about being dominated. Sometimes it is a mix of both or just both. Tying up, if you are the dominant party, it is about being in total control. And a part of the enjoyment of this, might be the simple validation that your partner trusts you completely. Or, might also be. BEING TIED UP. This is can be just one psychological aspect or it can blended with something i have yet to explain. By now, you know, it's demonstrated power and the validation the target feels when their partner desires them so much they want to be in total control. But, the target (might) also like NOT being in control. They are not responsible for what happens next. The mind of a woman and their emotions are much more complex, than men. There are some kinks and debauched acts (dirty or perverted acts) they like and are ashamed that they enjoy them. When they are tied up they feel they have no choice, so they might as well enjoy it. They might also, just like the feeling of simply not being in control and being restricted. On a side note, if you read through all of this, during some of these explanations, the way I wrote them (in layman's terms) can also explain what goes through a predator's head. Whether it's a Sadist, rapist or child molester, these are how they justify their acts or feed their delusions. So, to do any of these acts requires trust, BOTH ways. Communication surrounding kinks can be awkward, even for socially outgoing people. Women are almost always afraid to share their kinks. Even if they wouldn't feel embarrassed by liking something, they fear ANY type of rejection, more than any man. The current political state in the West, both outward and expressed thoughts and findings, AND, inner thoughts and feelings, has groups and individuals denying simple truths and proven facts about the differences in the sexes. So, open and honest discussions are often taken over by Political Correctness. Simply put, women are more emotional than men. And some women struggle with their emotions more than others.
>>532899 Sure, allow me to elaborate, I do enjoy the feeling of embarrassment, the heart racing, face warming up, and overall knowing I'm going past what's "normal", same regarding my partner, I don't know, maybe I'm excited by the idea of being a deviant by itself. From what I've gathered, regarding sex and autism, you're either not into it at all, or waaaay into it, I fall into the later category, so seem to be rarer kind, who's just okay with sex overall. I guess sex itself is kinda boring, repetitive and not stimulating enough, so it's kinks all the way to keep the experience new, challenging and engaging. Creativity might indeed play a role here, there's a lot to do in sex, figuring out the safest and most pleasant ways to push boundaries is very entertaining. If pain is involved you also gotta figure how much pain will still lead to pleasure, and how to deliver said pain without lasting impacts. Not to mention trying to figure how to make it work with different locations, positions, toys, levels of exposure, etc. But hey, if you're into basic shit that's okay too, no need to engage with weird stuff if it doesn't move you.
>>532911 Experienced autistic here, either this anon is guessing stuff, or he collected a very unique set of experiences. There are plenty of women like this out there, but they're definitely not the majority.
>>532927 Great overview
>>532927 OP here. Dude, thank you for taking the time to write this. It really clicks with me and makes a TON of sense. Lots of "aha" moments for me! >There are some kinks and debauched acts (dirty or perverted acts) they like and are ashamed that they enjoy them. When they are tied up they feel they have no choice, so they might as well enjoy it. Wow, I think this really explains some of the stuff I didn't get about domination/power play in sex. Also, interestingly, a lot of what you attribute to the female mind sounds like me. Somehow, deep down, I feel that I'm a very kinky person. I can feel it boiling in there but I have no idea how to access it or make specific what exactly it is that I want. And if I could, I think I would feel too much shame or embarrassment to ask for it or attempt it with someone. But I'm 100% down to give a woman whatever she wants sexually, no matter how kinky (especially now, thanks to your help, I'm excited to try to apply some of this shit you explained). Damn, maybe I need to be dominated so I can explore MYSELF for once. Really, amazing post, thank you.
goodethread is goode
None of this answers very much. Even with the other thread's infodump post. Why is sex inherently based on degradation and subjugation, even if it is not outright humiliation? Even birds shit test their men at the start and sometimes later in the relationship and they still get off on "rape" in reality coursing behavior the women initiate deliberately for clit twanging the only species I've seen break this cycle either reproduce asexually or throw all their sperm and eggs in a big spawning pool for the offspring produced to be an otherwise non-selective lucky dip. The man whose fetish is muscle cars degrades both himself and the car. Deep end hippies would fuck a tree or the soil. The same pretty much applies. The only fetishes I haven't seen exist in the world are ones involving objects that are so mundane and frequent they would provide an overstimulus if you were to get off to them. Like imagine getting the boner sweat hard from seeing some clouds or some blades of grass. I want to know why has it got to be this way? I want to honor God with my calling to marriage and be motivated by good. Instead I have all these tricks that are about negative reinforcement.
>>532938 >they're definitely not the majority. clearly you've never been to the west coast


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