>>533257
You've had too much internet. You've read too much psycho-babble. (Your use of the word Valid is fucking gay) And you centered your happiness to food for too long.
You need a new focus and purpose. You need to quest for something else that will interest you and you will enjoy. It may take some time, it WILL take some effort.
Once you find this, you will feel better. Once you feel better, you will become more confident and then after that everything will fall into place.
I can tell you how to start and roughly where. The rest is up to you. Or you can just give up like your corporate overlords want you to. The choice is yours. But, i think you should suck it up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and do what i tell you.
First step, take some time to think about what might interest you. Not long and you don't have to fucking meditate on it, just think about it for 15-30 minutes. THEN, go walking for a little bit, in a place people gather where you have never been. Make eye contact and smile, maybe wave. Not everyone will return a wave, smile or even make contact. They have their reasons, it isn't always about you, but FUCK THEM if it is. Maybe they're just having a shit day.
You can repeat this the next the day, or in two days.
The next week, or 4 days later..take 5 minutes to think about what might interest you again. THEN, go someplace where people gather, This could be a place where people shop, but might also be open to socializing. Like a book store, a comic book store, a place like Gamestop, a Hobby store, a Coffee shop that isn't Starbucks or even a bar. If you go to the bar, sit at the bar.
Whatever of these venues you choose, look around, loiter a bit. Make eye contact with someone, say hi, or nod. Ask them how they are doing. Even if it's just the clerk. It doesn't matter if it's a guy or a woman.
DO NOT look at your phone while you are out, unless you get a call or text. DO NOT, wear headphones or ear buds.
The point is to socialize in person, with people you don't know. the Conversation can brief, super brief. It doesn't matter. Keep having them.
This might seem pointless to you. It isn't. The time you thought about what might interest you, wasn't wasted. As you have done these tasks, your mind has been working this problem unconsciously. The things you see, your every interaction out in the World is adding new data.
You repeat these tasks. Conversations will go longer with some people. Make sure, if a conversation goes past a minute, when there is a break, you put your hand out and introduce yourself by name. And then say, "Good to meet you", when you shake their hand then continue the conversation. Make sure the hand shake is firm, but not hard.
You might be inspired to add your own task, or to venture to other places. Follow that impulse. So long as it doesn't involve a chair in your home and a screen.
This is a quest, and while it's beginning is simple and sounds lackluster, it is JUST the beginning.
It might take a few weeks, a few months or even a year. But, your life will change in ways you did not perceive. Doors you didn't know existed will open, you will have all new choices available.
Whatever suffering you've gone through will develop a meaning as will your life.
Like all quests, yours might be challenging. The truth is, you will find yourself there.
This will work for anyone, looking for a change and not knowing where or how to start.