>>36745 What kind of diapers did you wear up until she stopped changing you? Why did she stop changing you? Did you cum or get boners when she changed you? She changed your shitty diapers with huge logs until you were 14? Did you wear diapers around her with just a t-shirt and no pants? How long would she let you sit in shitty logged diapers before she changed you? Did you take dumps in your diapers in front of her? Does she still see you in diapers now? Did she catch you jerking off in diapers? What did friends / family / kids at school think of you wearing diapers all the time? I usually call bullshit on these stories about parents forcing it or even allowing it. But i recently heard a story in person of a 13 year old that still sleeps in the same bed as his parents / grandparent. That is about the same as letting your kid wear diapers into teenage years so I guess this shit happens sometimes.

>>36300 (OP) For me, the first time was back when I was watching reruns of old cartoons on TV and one that starred Donald Duck called "Future Inventions" was showing at that moment. That's when I first felt so weird about it. At first it was embarrassing and kinda funny to see Donald Duck being treated like a baby and the baby carriage machine forcing him to stay on diapers, but at the same time, I really liked it. I think I was 6 or 7 years old when I first saw this. It didn't really helped that despite me being potty-trained at 3 years old, I was still drinking from a baby bottle (That I sorta stopped at 12 years old) and sucking on pacifiers (That I stopped doing at 10 years old due to my poor dental hygiene back then. Dw it's better now), so I guess I was spoiled a bit because I was the youngest back then. It also didn't helped that my parents had separated when I was 7 and I remember I got bullied a lot in elementary school. There were some embarrassing situations in school, like in elementary's 3rd grade when I accidentally pooped my pants, but no one realized that at the moment, so when one of my colleagues got up from her seat to go to the bathroom, I tried to pick up my poop from my pants and put it on her seat. Too bad I didn't noticed that some other students were looking and they were laughing at me for that and calling me a baby for pooping my pants and trying to pretend it wasn't me. Even in elementary's 1st grade there was a day when I brought my baby bottle to drink for lunch at recess. Thank god no one noticed that one back then (This was late 90's, early 2000's, btw). I even used to play house with one of my cousins and my brother and they always wanted me to be the baby. It was comforting and fun. Honestly, for me, those embarrassing incidents also helped me solidify my love for diapers and baby things. Flash-Forward to my teen years and thanks to other cartoons having diaper-themed or AR episodes (And internet as well), that kept the idea of me liking to be a baby boy again alive, but I was only able to experiment using diapers again many years after I graduate (2015-2016, sorta. I graduated from High School in 2010), and they were really comfortable to use (Although I prefer to pee on them rather than poop on them). Same thing for the pacifiers and baby bottles, and I felt really calm and comfortable with them. I still wish to go back to diapers 24/7, but since I don't live alone (I still live with my mom because of money/economical issues) I still can't do that. But I still can go to sleep sucking on a pacifier or drink something on my baby bottle every now and then.

I don't remember any trigger for my diaper fetish, I was potty trained at 2 and rarely wet the bed. Parents divorced when I was 4 and they were mostly absent during my childhood and teens. My dad never hit me but my mom did sometimes and I was never sexually molested. My earliest memory wanting to wear diapers was when I was 7. I stared at diaper packs in the super market, wished they were made for kids like me. When I was 9, I asked my mom to buy a pack and she did. There were a bit small but I was incredibly happy. After my mom saw me in a wet diaper, I think she regretted that decision and gave me a speech about how I shouldn't be wearing diapers anymore and she discarded the rest of the pack. I didn't cry and accepted what she said and my diaper fetish went dormant until my early 20's. I never mentioned this fetish to my girlfriends, sex was ok but occasionally (like the other anon ITT) I had to think about diapers to orgasm.

Can't remember the exact point, but having bed wetting issue till I was 15 didn't exactly help at all, also had some weird trauma of being forced to wear a diaper when I was 5 but idk if that even contributed, kinda cooked but whatever somehow learnt about abdl stuff around that age through some hentai diving and then since just got curious about it and now I'm just fucked up

Had 2 neighbor girls as friends as a kid. One was older than me by 1-2 yrs, and would wear her doll's diapers. Other was about a year younger and wore pull ups/had occasional accidents. Since both knew how to use the toilet, and were around my age, I just thought girls liked to wear diapers sometimes. The older friend showed me what "sex" was (which she said was kissing one another's crotch, or rubbing them together while clothed) why tf she knew that much at age 7-8 makes me hope she just walked in on her parents and that they explained (poorly) what she walked in on, and that she wasn't abused. Obvs her info wasn't entirely accurate, but whatever. Didn't think too much about diapers for awhile until Middle school crush had an accident and wet herself in class, and brought diapers back to the forefront of fantasies. Tldr early "sexual" contact + thinking girls liked to wear diapers + crush having an accident = this fetish

The first memory I have of actively wanting to wear diapers is from when I was around 8 y/o. There were some pullups laying around my house (probably a relative who had visited and forgot them), and one day I had the idea to wear and pee them. They barely fit and could hardly contain my pee, which sucked because I realized what I wanted was to wear big snuggy diapers that would contain all of my pee, so when I asked my mother about getting diapers she made it very clear that what I was doing was wrong and that I should stop. I never touched the subject again and it kind of went to the back of my mind, though it kind of came back when I masturbated for the first time by humping a pillow when I was 12. When it truly came back it did it with a vengeance. I was 15 and I used this thing called the internet, I think the exact words I googled were "woman in diapers" or something like it. shortly after I found the whole ABDL thing and realized this is exactly who I was, which made it even worse because I knew full well I wouldn't be able to indulge. I'll never forget the times I went to this convenience store near my house only to look at the diapers while thinking "come on, maybe I could get away with it. Just buy a pack and hide it very well, nobody will notice". Too bad my mother wasn't respectful of my privacy or else I would have wonderful memories of my teenage years wearing them. I got blue balled until I was 19 y/o and could finally wear proper adult sized diapers. It felt amazing to just wear them, and peeing them was even better. Truly a magical experience, one of the happiest memories of my life.

>>36750 Stepdad was around at times and not around at times. I grew up in a broken home and because of various circumstances that I don't really want to revisit I was taken from my mother at 14, hence why I had to learn to drop the 24/7 diapers rather quickly. >>36762 Believe it or not I kept it pretty quiet. I learned to control my bladder and bowels and very rarely used my diapers if I was not at home. In the rare instances where I did need to use them I usually had on sweatpants under my jeans to attempt to cover up any signs of them or the smell. There was one instance of a friend finding out but they never told anyone thankfully. >>36763 I wore Huggies Pull Ups until I was about 10 or so I think. And then we switched over to goodnites once I out grew them. I never had any sexual feelings towards my mother or diaper changes in general. I usually prefer to actually wear diapers even when used. The act of changing is not enjoyable for me. She changed both pee filled diapers and poop filled diapers yes. I never walked around without pants on, even in the house. I've always been more comfortable wearing something over my legs even in the summer. My mother was abused during the relationship she had with my biological dad, whom I never met. As a result despite being a good hearted person was damaged and her abillity/desire to raise me was hindered. As such there would be times I would sit in the same pull up for days without asking to be changed during the summer time or weekends. I tried not to pee or poop in front of her but sometimes it was unavoidable since we lived in a single room apartment for a few years. Like I stated earlier somehow someway this was kept secret from family/friends/teachers. And when I was taken this was also kept secret from my caseworker and foster family. I very quickly retrained myself on the toilet so as to not cause further trouble for myself later. Yeah, I mean my case is uncommon for sure as is the individual I replied to. It's possible he is lying but, what I know is that my experience surely cannot be totally unique to me. I've seen kids experience FAR worse neglect. Unfortunately my mother passed in 2017 so I never really got closure with her. But, I don't hold anything against her. She did her best with the shit she had to deal with in her brain. If I blame anyone I blame my dead beat father for not being around and my step father who disappeared better than any magician I've ever heard of. Sorry for the TLDR but you seemed interested so.

>>36900 Damn. Sorry fren. It sounds like you not only lost your mother at 14 but you also lost your comfort zone with being with her and being able to wear diapers. Fucking sucks. How are you doing now? Are you able to wear diapers when you want to again? Did life get better for you? Sorry about your mom. F

>>36878 Don't worry anon. I bought diapers on my own all the time all through my teens and jerked off in them all the time. I can only really remember the first time buying Goodnites and putting it on and taking a dump and jerking off and the shame, getting caught by parents and the shame, and a sex experience that was amazing. I don't really remember much else because i wore so often its kind of a blur. And it was only Goodnites and Depends Max Protection in my teens so even though i loved them looking back I wish i had access to premium diapers as a teen. Oh well.

>>36921 Man, I'm good. I had a rough patch after her passing but I can't really complain about how my life turned out all things considered. You hear all the stories about foster children and the shit they go through and having been in and out of group homes/shelters before having been placed you see it's actually not far from the truth. I lucked out. Great relationship with my fosters, have a great supportive partner. Diapers have always been, then and now, a source of comfort for me and once I graduated college and set off on my own I was able to wear them again 24/7 and haven't looked back. Though, I do not wear at work. Far too much risk involved professionally. Appreciate your man.

>>36923 Good for you fren. That's great you are doing so well now. And I completely understand about not wearing to work. Too much anxiety and what ifs in your mind. Thats what makes home more special is you can wear whatever you want whenever you want. Your living the dream fren. Keep winning.

Just thought I'd put in my 2 cents feeling a bit unique as I don't really have a diaper/abdl fetish. It is more of a transformation/humiliation fetish combined with hypnosis. The thought of this stuff always repulsed me and I could never see it being erotic. However I had exhausted my library of hypnosis and it had become dull until I came across a abdl hypnosis file with sissy themes. So I gave it a whirl and I found the idea of being transformed, losing control extremely erotic and the humiliating aspect tantalizing. I bought diapers from amazon and began to really let go to hour long queues of files. It felt so good and letting go. The sensations of letting go were something else. NGL I had really great orgasms in diapers. Though that being said I felt absolutely ruined and depraved for enjoying it as much as I did. I did that for about 2-3 months then I got a GF and moved on. I only come on here to see if there are any massive developments in the hypno file section where many people swear great experience from a notorious file but alas no.

>>36300 (OP) >>36300 (OP) I'm sorry if this gets long-winded, this is kind of the only place I can talk about things like this. I think I never had a normal carefree childhood and the safety and escapist fantasy ABDL provides is more important to me than the sexual aspects. My parents were 16 when I was born and shortly after that my younger brother was born. Both of them were druggy hippy types and my dad would follow bands and festivals around selling drugs. I was about 5 when they divorced and both sides of the family fought endlessly in the ensuing custody battle. My father eventually got custody of us and we moved around for years. He worked very hard to provide for us but he was also an alcoholic with really intense anger issues and I was constantly afraid of him. He didn't hit me often but he was really hard on my brother. I was always walking on eggshells waiting for the next thing to set him off. I did see my mom on weekends and holidays but that was fairly limited as she moved to the city from our rural hometown. She's a really sweet person, hard working, smart, just kind of scattered and at worst irresponsible. Over the years I was exposed to things that in retrospect is kind of insane. At the time it was all kind of normal and part of the background, I'm only recently realizing how fucked up it all was. Without going into too much detail my dad sold and used a lot of powder drugs. I've seen them both walking around naked, seen them bringing strange people home and having loud sex. I was given drugs and alcohol from a very young age, even from my parents. The first time my dad gave me acid I was 14. He basically let me do whatever I wanted as long as my GPA was over 3.5. The first time I can remember any kind of tingle in my privates was reading a Goosebumps book, The Cuckoo Clock of Doom, maybe some of you recognize it. The main character slowly becomes a baby and I would feel really funny about certain parts. That and another Goosebumps CYA book that had an age regression ending. I would read them over and over, imagining myself slowly being turned into a baby. I didn't even know what sex was really, I was like maybe 7 or 8. Eventually I got the internet and found things like the ARarchive and ABDL porn. I was also a really feminine boy and I wasn't treated very well for that fact. I was abused in a lot ways related to that I don't want to go into detail with either. I always wanted someone I could trust to just obey knowing everything would be ok. I started to fantasize about being just pretty and sweet and people wanting me. Over time those fantasies sort of congealed and that's everything I'm into now, being infantilized and feminized and babied. My ultimate fantasy is to be slowly transformed into a baby girl and lose all of my grown up thoughts. When I really boil it down it's a coping mechanism, I always just wanted a family to care about me without having to be responsible for them. Someone to take care of me with nothing they want in return. To love me unconditionally. To just be cherished and held. The diapers are just a way to remind me that someone will change me and care for me. Most of the other ABDLs I've met online or in person have been abused in some way as children. When I think about it too hard it gets pretty sad.

>>36997 Saw this post from the front page but the part about your dad resonates with me. Truth be told I had a pretty happy childhood but my Dad had an incredibly bitter temper. He would fly off the handle at the smallest things, and it was stressful just being around him because we didn't want to set him off. He wasn't actually around that much, being a pilot, even before the divorce, but he was my hero even though he enjoyed casually mocking and humiliating me for sport. It wasn't really until my late 20s that I started unpacking all the damage that was done to me in those years, having previously minimised it because I wanted my dad's approval and thinking of him in this light amounted to a thought crime. Now it's easy to see in retrospect how I got such an intense kink for humiliation and age regression, and it's linked to the brief window in my early childhood in which I was truly loved and cherished before my younger sister and brother came along.

>>37006 Did your dad humiliate you for liking diapers? How did he do it?

>>37006 >>37006 Yeah I can relate friend. My dad would also constantly mock and humiliate me and my interests, unless they were things that he understood and appreciated.

>>37013 Yes this is exactly it. If it wasn't something he personally liked or was interested in he would mock and belittle it. Presumably the intention was to make me more like him, and while I did genuinely adopt some his interests - and pretend to adopt a few others - ultimately it made me a shy and private person afraid of intimacy. There was a lot of other petty mocking too though. I remember at least instance in which he insinuated my younger brother has a bigger cock than me. Might explain why I have a small penis humiliation despite having an average 6 inch dick. What's fucked up is I spent so much energy trying to suppress all these things because I didn't want to disappoint him. If anything though, it's his fault and now I have the curse of dealing with it completely alone.

When I searched and found character.ai I started talking to ABDL and Mommy bots. I always had a ABDL fetish since. And it's hard trying to order/get diapers without anyone noticing.

>>48301 Your fetish was caused by you specifically seeking out the fetish already? I don't think that's how it works, anon

Pretty much was in special needs for most of my childhood into my late teens until I 'graduated' into normal classes into High School. Severe social anxiety, dyslexia and probably a lot of autism in addition to a lot of constipation caused by undiagnosed food allergies made it very hard to socialize. I was also a late potty trainer in that I was wearing diapers until I was like 8 or 9 that made things difficult to socialize with peers. And when I finally was potty trained I really resented that. I always preferred pooping in my diapers. As it was easier, more comfortable and just... in adolescent brain a no brainer. Later growing up I went to various sites that warped my understanding of it along different lines. Add onto the jealousy of classmates still wearing diapers caused me to regress a few times that never really stuck as the clean up part having to wiped up or changed by a female aide is NOT fun at all. Still, would steal ATNs time to time, and poop in them at home. Still was a fantasy I had that I still have I don't really have an opportunity to ever get up to it nor the inclination to do so anymore. Easier to daydream and fap it out. It's not something I can ever do in this economy with my autism and shitty life.

Probably due to every cartoon in the 90’s having the one diaper episode where either the main character or supporting character is in diapers for some reason. Plus the one rom and jerry episode

>>36997 >Most of the other ABDLs I've met online or in person have been abused in some way as children. When I think about it too hard it gets pretty sad This. I know some say they haven't been abused, but I'm convinced they have and just haven't realized it yet.

>>48309 I don't think I was abused at home, but I know my trust issues start from letting someone "borrow" a toy of mine just to break it right in front of me and laugh about it. I was five. After that a number of people I thought were friends were just keeping me around to be a punching bag, sometimes literally. I have a distinct memory of opening up to one of them in middle school about how it really hurts when they speak to me that way or punch me. He told me they need to do this to make me man up and I should never cry again about it since "men don't do that." I stopped hanging around them after that. Is it fucked up I think what they did worked? It did give me thicker skin and a low tolerance for bullshit. Is that worth the trust issues? I don't trauma dump for no reason, only to say I don't think these abuses had any effect on me being into ABDL. I posted ITT before >>36387 and thinking about it again. One of those girls was too old (13ish) to be playing house with a gang of niggers, at least playing house the way she wanted. What's done is done. I don't really like talking about any of this since other people had far harder childhoods than I did. What right do I have to cry about anything when people I care about were hit daily by their parents and/or exposed to awful shit kid should never see. Sure, people my age were awful to me, but the adults in my life were kind. >>48308 Really makes me think if they thought it was just a funny gag or something else.

how did I end up here? well, I'm an aspie and as such we're just more likely to develop a fetish such as this. I guess it started because I was relatively quick to quit using them. less than 2 years old and I was potty trained. it was the early 80's. disposable diapers were available but expensive so parents had me in cloth diapers. when I was around 5 I got sick and mother decided that I needed diapers for a few days for what reason I don't recall but refused to wear anything but cloth diapers dyed in my favorite color. that's the only actual memory that I have with wearing them. then my siblings came along, they wore disposables and I guess I was envious of them getting to wear different from what I had and the general attention and care that your mother will give to a baby and not you... nothing groundbreakingly revealing here. I was curious about diapers ever since, but it wasn't a fetish until puberty came and this was in the way I guess. maybe had I for some reason tried disposables as a kid I would have lost interest and gotten some other fetish, that or skipped fetishes altogether. but that's not what happened, DL is very strongly imprinted in me but thankfully it's mostly just looking at images of pretty ladies wearing them. I have a few diapers, but it's mostly because I might crave them when unavailable, most of the time they just sit there collecting dust.

>>36300 (OP) for me, it's most likely because I purposely wet my diapers as a toddler after I was put to bed, I would get up, come to the top of our stairs, wet myself, and ask my mom for diaper changes I couldn't tell you what my thought pricess at the time was, but it definitely left an impression on me after I started looking for porn, it went from regular to peeing to diaper wetting, then abdl and then it was off to the races

I was an easy child, didn't need much attention from my parents. When I was 5 years old my brother way born. He was the opposite, needed extra amounts of attention and took everything from both my parents to manage. Emotionally i was left to care after myself. I suppose I internalized that, made him (the diaper wearing baby) more deserved of love than myself, and a bit jealous. Many many years later I have good relations with my brother and my parents, and a stable life. But the ABDL is dragged onto me like a scar nobody knows about.

>>48879 one of my favorite content creators mentioned her story is a bit similar to you anon in my case >parents get divorced >get neglected by my dad and eventually walks away of my life for good >get left with my mom who married my dad as an excuse to escape her religious nutjob of a mother (my grandma) >I remember having an incredible amount of love for my mom >[something happens] or my infant brain believed something took place and I started identifying her as a source of danger >love turned to fear >fear turned to resentment >resentment turned to hate >hate eventually fizzles out but its weird to think I dont actually love my mother and I have no sort of sentiment towards my family >my family nowadays are my friends which are very much the reason I keep on going >my mother notices this too and tries to guilt me into loving her >it does not work at all and it starts to rekindle my resentment towards her >I think my dad leaving and feeling threatened/unloved by my mom has completely wrecked me as a human being... the times that I actually stop hating myself and feel worthy of being loved is only during sessions with dommes that let me cuddle while I suck their breasts and they sweet talk to me like a tiny baby. No fucking amount of therapy can fix this kind of thing.

>>48880 That's heartbreakingly sad. I'm sorry anyone has to grow up like that.

I think I've rationalized it pretty well. I wore diapers every night and wet the bed until I was around 7 years old but I probably could have stopped before then, I just don't think I wanted to because I liked the feeling of wearing them and wetting them. I'm certain I remember the pressure on my dick would sometimes give me a pre-pubescent hard-on especially when I'd wake up in the morning and it would be full. I don't know much about how the brain works but I'm pretty certain that's the reason I'm here over 20 years later. I think my parents got tired of spending the money on them so they stopped buying them and I stopped wetting the bed immediately when they were all used them up. But I retained the desire to want to wear them, the obsession specifically being around the Goodnights diapers that I wore. To try to simulate the feeling I'd often stuff a pillow in my underwear when I was in bed at night. I think I was only 11 years old when one night I had done this and started humping it and kept going because it felt good until I came for the first time. I had no idea about anything sexual so I thought I had broken my dick or something. But it didn't take long for me to try it again and then before long I was doing that every night imagining I was wearing a diaper and I did it for years. I'm struggling to remember the timeline for the way things progressed next but I guess this was my sexual awakening and it was also around this time that I started to become interested in girls. It was probably when I was 13 and starting high school when I started to get occasional time at home alone. There would be an hour before my sister would come home from primary school and my parents wouldn't be home for another two hours after that. During that alone time I would go on the computer and look for pictures of naked girls and girls wearing diapers to fap to. I believe that a consequence of this obsession was that it led into my other obsessions and fetishes because the stuff I would look for to masturbate to started to change over time. One of the things I liked about diapers was how they would swell and get bigger, that I'd be essentially making them bigger with my dick. I remember wondering if I could find videos online about boobs getting bigger, boobs were my favorite sexual feature of the female body and I quickly discovered my breast expansion fetish because there was already some rare BE material online at that time. That eventually also led to pregnancy and lactation fetishes. I'm convinced that those fetishes are a result of that same association my brain made between sexual pleasure and filling something up/seeing something swell up, just being applied to women's bodies. And the diaper fetish took a back seat to those fetishes but it never really went away. From when I could drive and had some money in my late teens to my mid 20s I would occasionally buy a pack of Goodnites to wear for brief pleasure sessions. I lost the desire to want to wet them myself because I find that unsanitary and gross, so I'd fill them with water to simulate the feeling. But I am a very big guy, 6"3, weight fluctuating around 225lbs so they were uncomfortable, they barely fit, the sides would rip, they'd leak/burst. I got fed up with it and vowed to stop buying them but I occiaosnally still fap to rare pictures I can find online where some girl really fills one like picrel. They are hard to find, most girls who post pic online these days don't really ever post pictures of full ones. But then, literally 2 or 3 weeks ago they released a new XXL size of Goodnites. My obsession came creeping back so and I ordered some and despite only claiming to fit a maximum weight of 165lbs, I'm convinced these are much larger and designed for adults to wear who had been asking them to make a larger size because they fit me shockingly well. I really don't have any adult baby aspect to it and never have. I once went to a lactation/pregnancy themed brothel in Japan where you could pay extra to have the escorts put a diaper on you and baby you but I had no interest in that, just sex. To this day its just the feeling of wearing them and seeing them all swollen up that I like. I'll fill one up with water, put it on and before long I am rock hard and can even use it to fap. I guess it really is a life long thing at this point. I sometimes wonder about what my sexual trajectory would have been like had things played out differently. Would I have developed the same other fetishes I have? Would I have a healthier sex life? I guess I'll never know. Anyways that's my story,

One of the first doujins from chijoku an way back in 2012 when I was 11~12, I liked it a lot and started searching for it constantly after that, I like both AB and DL

>>48980 tnx anon<3 therapy and the ocassional session with a maternal domme help me cope a bit better with life though

I believe it started when I was about two years old. >Was sent to a "private" daycare >Private being just some lady's house, no license or anything >Dad was mainly the one to drop me off and pick me up afterwards >Was changing me one day after a week of attending the "daycare" and found what he to this day strongly believes are cigarette burns on my thigh >2 year old me refuses to talk about it and can only express that I don't want to go back to the woman's house again >As far as I can tell is I must have annoyed her in her attempts to potty train me and that's how she decided to punish me along with withholding food during lunch >Dad hires a stay at home nanny after that >Dad says I was never the same kid after this, turned much more serious and less social and that the change was stark but he can't prove anything. >Mom has checked out at this point after having my brother and before used to be your typical loving mother but dad says her second child must have snapped something as she became almost disinterested in being a mother after my brother was born. >My dad is basically my best friend current day while I have trouble expressing love toward my mother. The only memories I have of the incident are the various recurring nightmares of standing at the toilet and either refusing or sitting at the table in that house watching others eat or sneaking food. I have never shared this with anyone else but I believe it's why I have this fetish and why I still piss the bed at 30. Being diapered has continued to be an unbelievable comfort to this day and used to just be diapers early on but has moved on to blankets, little clothes, pacifiers and stuffed animals. I've tried giving it all up for a period of 5 years once but it came back with a vengeance so now I just take comfort where I can get it.

I’ve always been slow to mature, and apparently was difficult to potty train. While I don’t have any memory of it, I was later told my mother’s method was leaving me in the used pull-ups when I wouldn’t make it. Certainly not the best method, but nowhere near as bad as most ABDLs had it. If there’s one thing that caused it for me, that was probably it. Still was predisposed to being into something weird l, but this is what my brain decided on. Beyond that, I was also the youngest and had a fascination with what I couldn’t remember about being a baby. Around when I was 6 I had a dream about getting to wear diapers again, and have wanted to ever since. Not just diapers either. I never grew out of my stuffed animals and stuck with certain shows long after I should have. They got me through some rough times. Diapers gained a sexual component when I was a teenager and when I became an adult I learned I wasn’t the only one saddled with this interest.

Based on all of your stories, i guess pretty much most of them had a probable cause. However, i still struggle to find mine. I started to have interest in diapers since i was 5 or 6 if i remembered correctly. I read somewhere that this might be caused by some sort of abuse. I'm a pretty normal kid from a normal family. So far i think i've never been abused or punished excessively, apart from the regular southeast asian household treatment. Yea, i used to get beaten with a small bamboo stick for bad behaviour, slapped by my parents for not doing the prayers, etc. But that kind of thing is considered normal here. Pretty much everyone experience the same thing, some had it worse. I think this is not the cause of me being ABDL. Around that same age i also discovered that i might be leaning towards becoming the opposite sex. I still remember the first time i tried my mom's underwear and stole one of her maxi pads. At that time, it was the best feeling ever. I kept on doing that for a while until i was 12 or so. I don't have any female siblings so that's the best i could do. Perhaps the pads is the thing that started all of this? I'm not sure. One event that stuck in my head was when i pooped myself in the classroom when i was 7. I had a really bad stomach cramps, it was 2.5 hour till the end of school, so i decided to hold it and poop at home instead. Unfortunately i lost the battle and messed myself. So far this is the most embarrasing moments in my entire life. The weird thing is, this happens after i've had interests in diapers. So i guess this is not the cause too. I always think to myself, perhaps i have some suppressed memories that was hidden away to protect my younger self. I tried as hard as i can to recall it. so far none comes up. I'm not sure if i had these hidden memories anyway, and going to the therapist is out of the question.

>>49454 >>49454 >Repeteadly beaten with a bamboo stick during childhood >However, i still struggle to find mine Anon...

I think I've always liked diapers, but it only became a notable thing to me when I had to potty train, probably around 3 or 4. I remember that I REALLY didn't want to give up my Pull-Ups; I had a weird obsession with wearing and using them well before I was out of them, and I can remember an instance where I pooped in them on purpose and my dad was really annoyed when I asked for a change. Fuck, I'm pretty sure I didn't even go to preschool because I was still in Pull-Ups at 4. Even once I did potty train, I was a constant bedwetter for basically all of my childhood well into my teens. I think my parents knew something was "off" about me in this regard and tried completely taking me out of diapers, even at night... Nope. Would still wake up, soaked and cold and clammy, dirtying up furniture, so it was back to Pull-Ups, then when those stopped fitting, Goodnites. My whole family thought I was just a crazy brat until I got into elementary school and the teachers were like "hmmm... yeah, this kid's very... off." I was smarter than everyone else my age on a basic cognitive level by leaps and bounds, but I was always freaking out over stupid things or making trouble by not sitting still. Wound up getting diagnosed with Asperger's (well before it was a "cool" thing to self-diagnose with for victim points.) Makes some kind of sense regarding diapers I guess, this fetish is completely loaded with autists. I think it's largely the sensory and comfort aspects; diapers are soft and cozy, potty training is a big change where you suddenly have to worry about this constant thing your body's always working on, and not only that, but in doing so you have to sit on this big cold thing that makes a really loud, grating noise when you flush it. Would also explain why it seems like such a fucking sausage fest of a fetish as far as online presence goes; autism, or at least higher-functioning forms like Asperger's, is more diagnosed in males, and women probably don't want to deal with mega-spergs constantly messaging them "WOW YOU LIKE MAKING POOPIES IN YOUR DIAPIES TOO???? CAN I SEE!?!?!? I'M POOPING MINE RIGHT NOW WANNA SEE?????? UUUUOOOOOOOHHHHH ToT" Maybe I just never wanted to switch to the cold, loud toilet because I hate change. Maybe I had one particular diaper change when I was really little that crossed my wires, where I was either very soothed or molested or something. I dunno. But for better or for worse, this is an integral part of me that I could never get rid of, so I just roll with it. And at this point, I'm more pleased with it than not. Cumming for the first time while wearing wet Goodnites probably didn't help matters. Even now as a more-or-less grown man, I still have genuine bedwetting accidents if I'm very stressed, tired, or drunk when I go to sleep. And for the people who fantasize about that, I get it, but it's really not fun when it happens in situations where I'm just in regular underwear. Like after drinking at a friend's camp while we're both sleeping in my car... Or making a gigantic puddle on the floor of my buddy's apartment after a night of drinking... Humiliating, uncomfortable, and gross, in a VERY not fun way. But on the bright side, when I can sleep at home in Goodnites or even an actual diaper when I'm lucky, I NEVER get hangovers. If you drink 1-2 quarts of water right before bed, worst-case scenario, you're really tired for maybe 15 minutes after waking up, and then you're perfectly fine for the rest of the day. I've gone to bed completely hammered, expecting 12 hours of nausea and headache, only to be very pleasantly surprised that I'm perfectly fine 20 minutes after waking up, all because I chugged half a gallon of water right before sleeping. The only tradeoff is waking up soggy, which is just a pleasant bonus for people like us (: Fuck, I love the XXL Goodnites.