I have an intense urge to speak with people who doubt God, but the words are hard to come by. Starting in my mid-teens, I had a 20 year journey through childish acceptance, despair, militant atheism, nihilism, humoring the idea of God as a technical possibility, finally coming around to at least seeing the merit of the bible on an intellectual level, and even then it took several more years before I could let go of the excuses I was using to remain safely skeptical. I now confident that God is real and Christ is the way to him. I did not plan or even hope to come to that conclusion. I was not led into it by others and I am not ignorant to alternative faiths and arguments against faith in general. I've heard it all, and while I can engage with issues point by point, I also know that debate of that sort is mostly just pissing in the wind. I'm not arrogant enough to think what took decades of living to turn me around I can compress into a few perfect sentences. I've been every type of doubter at one time or another, and a lot of those types of people are emotionally entrenched against God, goodness, and the concept of meaning in general in ways that require more than words. Jesus said that people will see him in you through your actions. Seeing him in other people's lives was a big part of what clued me in. I'm trying to get better at showing that, myself.
What I will say is that I encourage you to read the bible for yourself (even if it's just as literature) and stop giving a fuck what anyone, especially the church, says. You really think the highest seats of power in the world, in the era where narratives and information is all that matters, would allow the most influential memetic force in human history to go unmolested? The popular image of Christianity has been hijacked and directed against you and against God. Jesus- a king, exorcist, and hero so great he was within all rights to sincerely preach supreme love and mercy- is depicted as a soft-natured pacifist on a cross. Most Christians support things that God never asked them to and you probably believe things about Christianity that might have sounded like definitive zingers against it out of context, but are in reality not even true. The gaggle of barely literate crackheads at the church up the street and the big Jesusplex full of gay flags and BLM stickers does not speak for God. If you had to choose one, you'd find more humility with the crackheads. Just read the book and let it stew in you. Go out into nature. Disconnect from the bullshit every now and again and allow yourself the quiet every generation of man before you used to hear his own voice.
Maybe I'll have more to say some day, but that's all I've got for now. Christ be with you. There's still time.