You. Yes, you. Come here. Look at me and tell me truth. Your friends all talk about pizza, and you laugh and agree when they tell you that Domino's is the best, or that they prefer Papa John's. You never say what you really think, though, so they don't know the truth. But I do. You prefer Pizza Hut. That crisp on the outside, soft and almost cake-y on the inside, incredibly greasy and incredibly satisfying crust. That's okay. I'm going to teach you how to make Pizza Hut style deep dish dough in your own kitchen with only one relatively uncommon tool required: a pizza stone. The only other dishes required are a bowl for mixing and storage, a cast-iron pan for cooking, a measuring cup and a scale. DOUGH >240g bread flour >1/2tsp traditional yeast >170g water >15ml olive oil >(((kosher))) salt Add all the flour and all the yeast to a bowl and mix to combine. Add the water and olive oil and mix until no dry spots appear on the surface. Add a pinch of salt, mix a little further just to incorporate the salt. This dough is going to be crazy sticky and you're going to be tempted to add more flour; do not do this. Now, it's time for kneading. "But anon", you cry, your pathetic wrists aching just at the thought, "I hate kneading!". That is because you are weak, and I am here to make you strong. Imagine that ball of dough is a compass. On each of the 4 cardinal directions (that's North, South, East and West if you're retarded), grab the bottom of the dough and fold it over onto the top. Do this for all four sides, then cover with cling wrap. Compass-fold again every 5 minutes, three more times. Voila! You've just found the laziest possible way to "knead" dough! Believe it or not, your dough is now almost done. Transfer it into a well-oiled container, cover, and let sit in either a not-terribly-cold fridge or a cool, dark, dry spot like your pantry, for at least 4 hours up to 12. I keep my fridge near freezing and it was too cold for the dough and ended up killing the yeast, but the pantry was fine. When you go to retrieve the dough, it will have almost tripled in size. Congratulations! COOKING Get the dough out of that container into a well-oiled cast-iron pan. You'll need to force it down quite a bit, but don't be overly rough with it. Once it's pushed out to fill the pan, cover with cling wrap and let it sit for about an hour at room temperature to puff back up a bit. Trust me. Once the oven is ready, uncover the dough, sauce that slut, and - what's that? You don't have a sauce recipe? For fuck's sake SAUCE 8oz can tomato sauce 1-2 teaspoons each of the following: >dried marjoram (not ground) >dried oregano (not ground) >dried basil (not ground) >garlic salt (go easy on this) Mix it. Yes, that's it. Taste and adjust. Start with only 1/2 tsp of garlic salt, it's potent. COOKING 2: COOK HARDER Once the oven is ready, uncover the dough, sauce that slut and top as desired. Top it with whatever the hell you want but make absolutely sure that the base layer, directly on top of the sauce, is grated mozzarella. I like pepperoni and mushrooms. Make sure they're sliced fairly thin, because you're not going to have it in the oven long. Fire this bad boy into the preheated oven, directly on top of the pizza stone, for about 7 minutes, then rotate it 90 degrees and cook for another 7-ish minutes. Take it out at about 15 minutes total; if the cheese isn't melted to your satisfaction then throw it in for a few more minutes (but not too long). Once it's removed from the oven, let it sit in the pan for at least 5 minutes to re-absorb the olive oil, then remove onto a wire rack to cool for another 5 or so minutes, then slice that motherfucker and eat it. Congratulations! You are now armed with the knowledge to make yourself insanely fat for pennies on the dollar with nothing but a flat stone, a piece of iron and some basic ingredients.