Etz Chaim, the Tree of Life by Chayyim Vital
1500s kabbalah book, here rather well organized with an extensive introduction to the concepts used. Unfortunately does not open on my e-ink reader because it's a slightly uneven scan of a printed book which doesn't transform into proper text.
It wasn't very easy to find, because the title "Etz Chaim" is used by real "sneaky jews" of the "Messianic congregation" i.e evangelical christians who call themselves jews while worshipping Jesus spelled as "Yeshua". Scary stuff indeed.
They also somehow got into my recs on youtube with various channels called "messianic torah school" and other names. I accidentally downloaded a book with the same title written by one of them at first, then was confused for a few pages until I realized something wasn't right when they started referring to evangelic quotes, which shouldn't be in a book about jewish mysticism.
This lead to a nitpicky Copilot chat where I ended up narrowing down exactly what made me feel so bad about this dishonest trap laid by these christians. It's exactly like that: they use the title Etz Chaim to gain fake credibility. But this dishonesty lead me down the path to really understand why the Jesus cult makes me feel so bad. When I read those few pages of the fake book, and they started talking about "being ruled by Yeshua", I had already felt a dark energy being present, but by then it opened up into a dark hollow pit which prompted me to stop reading at once.
I deleted that book from the reader and my storage when I realized my mistake, and then went through how my stance on things compare to the views in the different types of Judaism and Christianity, down to the finest details. It made me realize just how indoctrinated everyone around me are in christian moralism, even those who claim to "believe in science" and who say they are atheists. They still think structurally according to christianity, they've just replaced it with mundane concepts and reasoning while following the exact same pattern. The strictness in relation to "idol worship" was also clarified to me, and the fact that overall historically Jews have lived under Islamic rule just fine, muslims haven't persecuted them. Christians on the other hand have done this, and there is for this reason a deep historical hostility between Judaism and Christianity. Puts things into a different light, when American evangelicals talk about Israel being their "greatest ally", then complain when Jews abuse them all the time. Seeing this historically, Jews have every reason to do this, while there is no real reason for them to fight with muslims. Christians have simply been fooled here, Jews do not accept them and consider them heretics for their belief in Jesus/Yeshua, while Islam as a monotheistic religion isn't considered to be based on idol worship like Christianity.
What was even more typical was: some hours after this realization, when I gradually got rid of a number of faulty concepts, I experienced first a strong yellow energy laying over me, and my internal bodily channels were unclogged in a number of places where I didn't even know I had blockages. Strong red energy started flowing, and a few clumps of dark muddy energy were driven violently out, which caused some passing sudden pain in the form of muscle tension suddenly releasing and a strong sense of a new mental and spiritual space having been freed.
Shortly after this, a strong fully 3-dimensional image started attempting to impose on me, a typical image of Jesus on the cross, rather disgusting with a horror movie feel over it, clearly intended to scare me. It kept hanging in the air for a while, until I made a clear mental decision reject anything associated with Jesus. The image them showed the figure and the cross burning up and end it ended with a bright flash and a scream, exposing how the image had an evil spirit behind it. After this followed a few recurring attempts at manifesting the visual of someone putting a rusty nail in my left wrist, which a few brief stings of pain. I rejected these attempts as well, and the disturbances stopped.
Now that's a real "religion of love"; it seems if you want real "religious experiences", what you really have to do is to strongly and directly reject Jesus. That will provoke the beings behind the religion to come and harass you to scare you back in line. Typical.