None of this answers very much. Even with the other thread's infodump post. Why is sex inherently based on degradation and subjugation, even if it is not outright humiliation?
Even birds shit test their men at the start and sometimes later in the relationship and they still get off on "rape" in reality coursing behavior the women initiate deliberately for clit twanging the only species I've seen break this cycle either reproduce asexually or throw all their sperm and eggs in a big spawning pool for the offspring produced to be an otherwise non-selective lucky dip.
The man whose fetish is muscle cars degrades both himself and the car. Deep end hippies would fuck a tree or the soil. The same pretty much applies. The only fetishes I haven't seen exist in the world are ones involving objects that are so mundane and frequent they would provide an overstimulus if you were to get off to them. Like imagine getting the boner sweat hard from seeing some clouds or some blades of grass.
I want to know why has it got to be this way? I want to honor God with my calling to marriage and be motivated by good. Instead I have all these tricks that are about negative reinforcement.